Self-Esteem

What do you do when trying to improve your life makes you feel worse? What if trying to be better comes across as ‘try-hard’? What if setting more goals is just your way of avoiding your own bullshit?

This is the topic of discussion in today’s episode, “The Self-Improvement Paradox”—or in other words, why sometimes trying to be better makes you feel worse. It turns out improving yourself is nuanced and complicated.

Who would have thought?

Check it out.

This episode is a masterclass in how to believe in yourself, no matter what obstacles you face.

Learn how to achieve your most ambitious goals and do it with confidence.

Once you listen, your self-doubt won’t stand a chance.

You’ll learn:

• One crucial step to start believing in yourself.
• The surprising cure for self-doubt.
• What David Goggins taught me about how to motivate yourself.
• “You against you” – the reframe that Mel can’t stop talking about.
• Why your self-confidence is critical to you feeling happier.
• What it means to “speak truth to power” and how it will boost your confidence.
• The acceptance speech people can’t stop talking about.
• The person you need to thank every day.
• One powerful question to help you stop your self-doubt for good.
• What you should expect every single time you do something hard.

To go deeper into the topics shared in today’s episode, including links to all videos and resources mentioned, click here for the episode resource page.

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Ready for your next listen? If you liked this, you’ll love the episode Toolkit for Building Unstoppable Confidence (According to Research)

Disclaimer

Friends, welcome back to The School of Greatness. Today’s guest is Marisa Peer. She is the creator of Rapid Transformational Therapy® (RTT®), which is a neuroscience-based pioneering therapy that potentially offers quick and effective results by combining the most beneficial principles of Psychotherapy, Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), and Hypnotherapy.

In this episode, we discuss the biggest lies we tell ourselves in relationships, what keeps most of us from finding lasting love, what needs to be aligned in our lives for a relationship to work, and so much more. This is going to be powerful for so many of you whether you’re in a relationship or not, and I’m sure you all are going to love this. So sit back, relax, and let the class begin.

Buy her book Tell Yourself a Better Lie: Use the power of Rapid Transformational Therapy to edit your story and rewrite your life.

In this episode you will learn

• The impact of NOT showing your authentic self upfront in a relationship and how it can negatively shape the course of your connection with others.
• Learn effective strategies to reconnect when you're feeling disconnected in your relationships, fostering deeper connections with the people who matter most.
• Gain insights into the thoughts and emotions you should embrace while dating someone new, along with the key indicators that will guide you in making decisions about the future of your relationship.
• The biggest lies we tell ourselves in relationships.
• The #1 thing keeping most of us from finding lasting love.

For more information go to www.lewishowes.com/1563

For more Greatness text PODCAST to +1 (614) 350-3960

More SOG episodes we think you’ll love:

Eckhart Tolle – https://link.chtbl.com/1463-pod

Rhonda Byrne – https://link.chtbl.com/1525-pod

John Maxwell – https://link.chtbl.com/1501-pod

Dr. Debra Soh is a sex neuroscientist, journalist, and author of “The End of Gender: Debunking the Myths about Sex and Identity in Our Society.”

www.DrDebraSoh.com

View the Show Notes For This Episode

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When a child is provided real, whole foods unadulterated with sugar, poor quality fats, toxic additives, and food dyes, their body knows exactly what to eat and how much. They will eat just what their growing body needs when provided this high quality diet that their DNA evolved from. What I have come to realize as a parent is that there is a great deal of letting go and going with the flow. I have also learned that, as a parent, what you eat, how you eat, and why you eat what you do is really important because our children are keen observers who absorb everything we do. 

In today’s episode of my series I’m calling Health Bites, I share the top tips and wisdom I have gained from my experience as a doctor and dad for raising healthy eaters.

This episode is brought to you by Rupa Health and FOND.

Streamline your lab orders with Rupa Health. Access more than 3,000 specialty lab tests and register for a FREE live demo at RupaHealth.com.

Get FOND's amazing bone broth today. Just go to FondBoneBroth.com/DrHyman and use code HYMAN20 to get 20% off your purchase.

Here are more details from the episode (audio version / Apple Subscriber version):

• Teaching children to eat real food (4:50 / 2:28)
• Modeling healthy eating (6:34 / 4:12)
• Setting realistic boundaries about food choices and mealtimes (8:29 / 6:07)
• Involving your children in meal planning and preparation (11:54 / 9:32)
• Presenting and “disguising” healthy food (14:12 / 11:50)

Connect with Dr. Mark Hyman on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube

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We all know the feeling of going on a few dates with someone and, suddenly, you're unable to stop checking your phone for messages, wondering when they're free, imagining the wedding, your future kids. And then we are left depleted, ghosted or disappointed. This is what happens when we romanticise the idea of someone, engage in fantasy bonding and it can often end up sabotaging the relationship.

In today's episode we are joined by the wonderful Lyss Boss, host of the Date Yourself Instead podcast to break down how we can take things slow and not get caught up in the idea of someone before we truly know them. Listen now. 

Follow Lyss: @lyss

Listen to Date Yourself Instead here: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ie2ywivlNvFCO8LLJYgo7?si=7f7b358f090c4c28 

Follow me: @jemmasbeg

Follow us on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Want to learn how to be a happier and more successful version of yourself… from the psychiatrist that Lady Gaga says “saved her life?” 

Mel sits down with Stanford-trained psychiatrist, trauma expert, and best-selling author Dr. Paul Conti to help you improve your mental health and be happier in 2024.

Topics discussed:

Toxic self-talk starts in childhood.

Cotard’s Syndrome: The extreme side of negative self-talk.

Your thoughts become your reality.

What to do when you feel like a failure or doomed to bad luck.

Feel happier when you say THIS to yourself.

5 strategies for changing your inner dialogue.

The one area where computers are better than the human brain.

Why you HAVE to process your childhood trauma.

What to do with a panic attack.

The ONE thing you need to know about change.

What an umbrella has to do with how you think about yourself.

Purchase Dr. Conti’s book, Trauma: The Invisible Epidemic, here: https://www.amazon.com/Trauma-Invisible-Epidemic-Works-Heal/dp/1683647351

Check out his website here: https://drpaulconti.com/

Watch the episodes on YouTube: https://bit.ly/45OWCNr

Check out my book, The High 5 Habit: https://a.co/d/g1DQ8Pt

Follow me:

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Want more resources? Go to my podcast page at melrobbins.com/podcast.

Disclaimer

Why is it so hard to say 'I'm sorry?' In the final episode of our Healing 2.0 series, we talk with psychologist Tyler Okimoto about the mental barriers that keep us from admitting when we've done something wrong, as well as the transformative power of apologies.

If  you liked this episode, check out the rest of our Healing 2.0 series. And if you know someone who would benefit from the ideas we explored in this series, please share these episodes with them. Thanks! 

In this episode Leo shares the mindset he's found for increased self esteem. He gives exact details on how to be less impacted by the way other people feel about you, and how to care less about what they think of you. This episode is sure to leave you feeling a major boost. Get ready!

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Embark on a profound journey of self-discovery as Bruce Anthony engages in a captivating conversation with Mr. Jay, an expert in interpersonal relationships and a certified betrayal trauma practitioner. Explore the intricate dynamics of love languages and attachment styles, gaining valuable insights into building self-confidence and self-esteem.

In this episode, Mr. Jay delves into the impact of childhood experiences, offering a roadmap for personal growth and emotional wellness. Learn practical strategies for navigating relationships, fostering self-awareness, and establishing healthy boundaries.

Unlock the keys to a more empowered and fulfilling life through the wisdom shared in this conversation. Subscribe, like, and share for more enriching content. #SelfDiscoveryJourney #LoveLanguages #AttachmentStyles #ConfidenceEmpowerment #RelationshipReflections

www.unsolictedperspectives.com

Ready to shop better hydration, use my special link https://zen.ai/unsolicitedperspectives2 to save 20% off anything you order.

In this special episode of The School of Greatness sponsored by BetterHelp, Lewis chats with Haesue Jo, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and the Head of Clinical Operations at BetterHelp. Haesue's expertise lies in Asian American mental wellness, anxiety and stress management, relationship and family dynamics, and trauma relief. We discover how childhood trauma can significantly impact their current relationships, gain insights into valuable lessons single individuals can learn in therapy to enhance their future relationships, and explore the benefits of couples therapy in strengthening relationships.

The episode also delves into the reasons behind couples breaking up and emphasizes the importance of self-love in fostering healthy relationships. Haesue Jo sheds light on the concept of self-sabotage and the challenges of taking actions that are beneficial but difficult.

For those seeking help today, BetterHelp is a valuable resource, and you can learn more and sign up at betterhelp.com/greatness.

In this episode you will learn

• How childhood trauma can impact current relationships.
• Valuable insights for single individuals to improve future relationships through therapy.
• The benefits of couples therapy in strengthening relationships.
• The importance of self-love in fostering healthy relationships.
• Tips for processing trauma and grief.

For more information go to www.lewishowes.com/1528

For more Greatness text PODCAST to +1 (614) 350-3960

More SOG episodes on Radical Self Love & Acceptance:

Jason Derulo – https://link.chtbl.com/1460-pod

Karamo Brown – https://link.chtbl.com/1457-pod

Pokimane – https://link.chtbl.com/1443-pod

This episode was voted for by my patrons over on my Patreon!

In the longest episode so far, join The Slumflower as she talks about raising your self-esteem, through the lens of observing rejection sensitivity, desperation, and comparing yourself to women who are in relationships you idolise.

Do men target women who they detect have low self-esteem? Is it too late to raise your self-esteem and date better? Does a woman need to be stupendously beautiful for a man to desire and respect her?

It all goes down in this episode - hilariously and as usual, impactfully!

Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions!

Pre-order my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER here: https://geni.us/pocketpower (Out November 2023)!

How do you go from believing in your self-worth to fully embodying worthiness? In this solo episode of The Unconditionally Worthy Podcast, I talk about the difference between intellectually knowing that you are worthy and truly embodying your unconditional self-worth. Then, I share three ways you can start shifting from believing you’re worthy to actually living your life from that truth.

IN THIS EPISODE, I TALK ABOUT…

• The difference between knowing you’re worthy and living like you’re worthy.
• What life looks like when you are/aren’t embodying unconditional self-worth.
• 3 ways to start embodying your worthiness.
• and more!

Want to tackle this practice together? The Unconditionally Worthy Group Coaching Program is designed to guide you to truly embody and live from the truth that you are unconditionally worthy.

The next cohort of the Unconditionally Group Coaching Program starts September 25th, 2023! Apply now to secure your spot: www.unconditionallyworthy.com/program

Not quite ready to take the leap yet? Enroll in the Be Yourself Workshop on Tuesday, September 12th, a 3-part workshop series where we dive deep into my signature framework for how to claim your Unconditional Self-Worth, here: https://www.unconditionallyworthy.com/UWWorkshops

If you enjoyed this discussion, share it with a loved one, then…

Leave a Rating & Review on Apple Podcasts and Spotify to show your love to The Unconditionally Worthy Podcast!

Stream & Download The Unconditionally Worthy Podcast NOW for FREE on Apple Podcast, Google, Stitcher, Pandora, and Spotify!

To connect further with me:

• Visit my website: https://www.dradiagooden.com 
• Connect with me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dradiagooden 
• Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dradiagooden 
• Connect with me on Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/adia-gooden-4b26751b 

Watch the full interview on YouTube: https://youtu.be/_IUUBoU7mSM

Read the show notes and transcript here: https://dradiagooden.com/episodearchive/85

This episode was produced by Crys & Tiana.

Learn more at https://www.crysandtiana.com. 

In today’s episode, you and I are discussing the fascinating science of secrets: why you keep them and how keeping secrets directly impacts your relationships, your self-esteem, your health, and holds you back from living the life you deserve.

Dr. Michael Slepian is a bestselling author, psychologist, associate professor of leadership and ethics at Columbia Business School, and former scholar at Stanford. He has been researching secrets for over a decade and will help you understand what secrets are, why we keep them, and the harm of holding them inside.

Dr. Slepian's research is shocking: studies prove you are keeping 13 secrets right now. 5 of which you’ve never told a single person. Not your mom. Not your best friend. No one. Even more shocking is the impact they have on your life.

My mission today is to help you free yourself of the burden of secrets.

Listen and you’ll understand how the secrets we have shape our physical and psychological well-being, who we are, how we connect with others, and how we cope with our challenges.

You will also learn:

• The most common secret that 61% of you are keeping right now.
• Why you always feel shame, isolation, and uncertainty when you keep a secret.
• The fundamental difference between secrecy and privacy, and why privacy is better for your health and relationships.
• Why the shame of secrecy kills your self-esteem.
• How to use guilt to get rid of shame (yup).
• How babies learn to keep secrets from their parents and caregivers.
• The one person you should REALLY tell your secret to.

Keeping a secret is the easy part; the hard part is having to live with it.

Let’s change that today.

Xo, Mel

In this episode:

• 2:00: The jaw-dropping secret that inspired this conversation today.
• 9:45: Curious about the kinds of secrets people keep? Here are the top 10.
• 11:50: How exactly do we define a secret?
• 14:45: Are there any good secrets?
• 15:45: Don’t feel too bad; we’re not the only animals that keep secrets.
• 18:00: Keeping the secret isn’t the hard part; the hardest part is this.
• 21:00: Listen to the secrets my listeners revealed. Recognize yourself?
• 24:45: Some secrets are no big deal but we make them big in our heads.
• 28:00: So what’s the difference between privacy and a secret?
• 31:00: Here’s how to frame a mistake, instead of feeling shame.
• 33:30: Research finds keeping serious secrets as kids can impact us as adults.
• 35:30: Here’s what parents should say when their kids admit a secret to them.
• 38:00: What do you say when friends keep you out of the group?
• 39:40: How do you tell your partner that you’re having an emotional affair?
• 42:30: The family secrets parents should never reveal to their children.
• 47:15: What about traumatic family secrets?
• 50:00: Choose the person who is your “coping compass” wisely.
• 54:30: Questions you can ask anyone to develop a closer relationship.
• 59:50: Here’s my hardest memory and what I realize about it now.

Want more resources? Go to my podcast page at melrobbins.com.

Disclaimer

The scientific case for self-compassion and why it doesn’t have to lead to passivity, self absorption, or cheesiness.

Today's guest is Kristin Neff, an Associate Professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin. She’s the author of the book Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself and Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power, and Thrive.

For tickets to TPH's live event in Boston on September 7:

https://thewilbur.com/armory/artist/dan-harris/

For tickets to TPH's live and live streamed event in Colorado on November 3rd:

https://www.milehichurch.org/calendar/10-percent-happier-with-dan-harris/

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In this episode we talk about:

• How Kristin first got into meditation and why she was drawn to the practice of compassion 
• How, paradoxically, self-compassion actually makes us less focused on ourselves
• The three components of self-compassion
• One of the big blockers for men in practicing self-compassion
• What self-compassion is and isn’t
• How research shows that self-compassion is a trainable skill
• Whether we actually need the internal cattle prod to get ahead
• Being kind to yourself even when you notice prejudice coming up in your mind 
• And how men and women deal with shame differently

Full Shownotes:https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/kristin-neff-rerun

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Today's podcast is from the 2nd stop on my Mindset Matters conference tour which took place in Sydney Australia. I discuss the importance of self-esteem, the challenges of parenting, and the balance between confidence and entitlement. I also share my thoughts on the importance of authenticity, especially when presenting oneself in front of the camera. I talk about what I deem to be the pitfalls of chasing trends for monetary gains and stress the value of speaking about genuine interests. Finally,  I touch on the influence of upbringing and environment on an individual's mindset and behavior. This was a super fun episode and be sure to Check out the Q&A portion of this talk which is coming to the podcast soon! Enjoy!

So often in life, we are our own worst enemies. The meanest and loudest voice in our head is our own. So why are we so hard on ourselves? In this episode we break down the psychological underpinnings behind our inner critic, from the proposed evolutionary role of negative self talk, to the influence of our upbringing including the distinction between conditional and unconditional positive regard, parental expectations and childhood bullying. We examine how social comparison and overthinking can contribute to a poor self perception but, also, how we can adopt the methods of radical self compassion and cognitive diffusion to silence that inner voice and be free from self judgement. Listen now! 

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Harvard Business Review article: https://hbr.org/2021/05/stop-being-so-hard-on-yourself

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