Mindfulness

Conflict doesn’t have to suck. These iconic relationship researchers tell us how. 

Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict Into Connection is the name of a new book by esteemed guests Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Gottman.

They are the co-Founders of The Gottman Institute and have completed over 40 years of research with more than 3,000 couples. John is the researcher; Julie the clinician. They have written several books together, including Eight Dates and The Love Prescription.

Even though the majority of the Gottmans’ research is on couples, the advice is applicable to all types of relationships.  

In this episode we talk about:

• The three principle conflict styles
• Why we often don’t understand what it is we’re fighting about
• Perpetual problems vs. Solvable problems
• Why the first three minutes of an argument are key 
• The simple sentence to use at the beginning of an argument
• How to downregulate defensiveness in an argument
• Why the Gottmans’ believe there is no such thing as constructive criticism
• Why apologizing quickly isn’t always the right move
• When a fight might spell the end 

Related Episodes:

• Dan Savage on how to handle disappointment in your relationships, how to get better at sex, and why “a couple” is an Illusion
• Lori Brotto on mindful sex
• Devon and Craig Hase on how not to be a hot mess
• Myisha Battle on love, sex, dating, and relationship myths

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Full Shownotes: http://tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/gottmans-726

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This four-part breathing technique calms the nervous system, relaxes the body, and is an effective antidote to obsessive over-thinking.

About Jeff Warren:

Jeff is an incredibly gifted meditation teacher. He's trained in multiple traditions, including with renowned teacher Shinzen Young. Jeff is the co-author of NY Times Bestseller "Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics," and the founder of the Consciousness Explorers Club, a meditation adventure group in Toronto. He has a knack for surfacing the exact meditation that will help everyone he meets. "I have a meditation for that" is regularly heard from Jeff, so we've dubbed him the "Meditation MacGyver."

To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for “Breath Stressbuster.” 

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In this episode of PivotMe, April guides listeners through a practical exercise to overcome self-sabotage and maintain momentum towards their goals. The episode emphasizes taking action and staying proactive in achieving goals, moving beyond mere manifesting from the couch.

Key Takeaways:

1. Crushing Self-Sabotage:

   • April introduces a simple exercise to tackle self-sabotage and ensure continuous progress toward goals.
   • Emphasis is placed on the combination of action and mindfulness, noting the importance of both in the pursuit of objectives.

2. Prioritizing Goals:

   • The episode delves into the process of prioritizing goals and maintaining focus despite obstacles.
   • April shares insights on rebalancing oneself, executing goals effectively, and staying motivated throughout the journey.

The episode concludes by encouraging listeners to actively engage in the presented exercise, combining intention with tangible actions. April highlights the value of focus, prioritization, and resilience in navigating challenges on the path to achieving personal and professional goals.

___________

Would you like to know more about being coached by April? Are you read to take your business or life to the next level? With her extensive experience and deep understanding, April will provide invaluable insights, tailored advice, and targeted coaching to help you optimize your performance. Whether you need guidance on performance, leadership, team dynamics, sales strategies, or personal development, April will be by your side helping you to achieve extraordinary results. 

Book a FREE 15 minute call with April at www.theaprilgarcia.com

👉👉 Connect with me here: 

Website: https://www.theaprilgarcia.com

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/AprilGarciaPivotMe

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Sometimes perseverance is overrated. An argument for strategic quitting.

Julia Keller is a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist, novelist, and playwright. She has a Ph.D. in English Literature from The Ohio State University and has taught at Princeton University, the University of Chicago, and the University of Notre Dame, and was a Nieman Fellow at Harvard University. She was the chief book critic at The Chicago Tribune for many years before quitting the world of daily journalism to write books. 

In this episode we talk about:

• The history behind why quitting gets such a bad rap 
• What happens in our brains when we quit 
• Why we don’t give enough credit to quitting
• The myth of perseverance 
• How to talk to our children about healthy quitting
• The power of having a community of quitters

Related Episodes:

• The Myth of the Dream Job | Simone Stolzoff
• How To Find Meaningful Work in a Rapidly Changing World | Bruce Feiler

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Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/julia-keller

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Some pains from our past are more readily released, while others tend to linger. It's not always a simple task to train our minds to be positive or to avoid dwelling on unexpected hurts. In this podcast, discover a way to acknowledge and embrace all our feelings without letting them hinder us in pursuing our goals and creating a fulfilling life. Perhaps, it's in embracing the entirety of who we are that we uncover the strength and resilience to live our best lives.

If you found this podcast enjoyable, kindly consider subscribing and leaving a rating or review. Additionally, I'd appreciate it if you could share it with your friends to spread the love! 

You can also follow me on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, Twitter, and LinkedIn. If you are interested in my work, please check out my books, "The Gift of Maybe: Finding Hope and Possibility in Uncertain Times" (including a new audiobook) and "A Year Without Men: A 12 Point Guide To Inspire and Empower Women."

Above all, my sincere wish is that this podcast has contributed to less suffering and more joy in your life!

The United States, we’re told, is increasingly a house divided. Conservatives and progressives are so alienated from each other that conversation is virtually impossible. But are we really as divided as we’re led to believe? As we begin what promises to be a pivotal election season, we're kicking off a new series about how we form our political beliefs. We're calling it "US 2.0." We begin with psychologist Kurt Gray, who studies how we think about our political allies and  opponents — and how these insights can help us to chart a new path forward. 

Have you tried to talk with someone who disagrees with you about politics? Have you found effective ways to get through? If you’d be willing to share your stories with the Hidden Brain audience,  along with any questions you have for Kurt Gray, please record a voice memo and email it to us at ideas@hiddenbrain.org. Use the subject line “politics.”  And thanks!

Imagine transcending your own limitations and embracing a world of change — that's what we're talking about today. Dr. Dispenza brings to life the concept of healing oneself through the power of thoughts and meditation, sharing heart-touching stories of individuals who defied the odds and healed from severe illnesses. As we navigate this conversation, we touch upon the transformative effects of belief, gratitude, and personal evolution. This isn't just about achieving material abundance; it's a journey towards enriching your inner self.

Dr Joe’s passion can be found at the intersection of the latest findings from the fields of neuroscience, epigenetics, and quantum physics to explore the science behind spontaneous remissions. He integrates that knowledge to teach people how to heal their bodies of health conditions, make significant changes in their lives, and evolve their consciousness. 

In this episode you will learn

• How to leverage the power of thoughts and meditation for self-healing.
• The crucial role of gratitude in the healing process and personal transformation.
• Practical strategies to break free from negative cycles and embrace change for a prosperous life.
• The impact of emotions and beliefs in shaping our reality and the process of creating abundance.
• Methods to connect with the quantum field and the science behind synchronizing mind and body for holistic wellness.

For more information go to www.lewishowes.com/1564

For more Greatness text PODCAST to +1 (614) 350-3960

Want more from Dr Joe Dispenza?

Control Your Mind – https://link.chtbl.com/1413-pod

Break Free From Addiction – https://link.chtbl.com/1309-pod

Attract Financial Abundance – https://link.chtbl.com/1288-pod

Become Limitless – https://link.chtbl.com/1256-pod

The author/podcaster talks about her nonnegotiables at a delicate time in her life.

Glennon Doyle is an author, activist, and the founder of Together Rising. She hosts the We Can Do Hard Things podcast and wrote the #1 New York Times bestseller Untamed, a Reese’s Book Club selection, which has sold nearly three million copies. 

Photo Credit: Alexandra Hedison

In this episode we talk about:

• The concept of embodiment
• Undoing harmful deep conditioning around hustle and diet culture
• The role of Internal Family Systems in Glennon’s life

Related Episodes:

• You Don’t Have to be Miserable While Doing Important Work | adrienne maree brown
• How To End The War With Your Body | Sonya Renee Taylor
• The Anti-Diet | Evelyn Tribole

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• Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install

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You are complex and contain multitudes. Try this refreshing take on loving-kindness and offer love to all the different parts of yourself.

About Dawn Mauricio:

Dawn Mauricio discovered the practices of Buddhist meditation in 2005, and from then on, did what any well-intentioned perfectionist would do — plunge in head first! Since then, she's graduated from several teaching programs, including Spirit Rock's four-year Teacher Training. Her teaching style is playful, dynamic, and heartfelt, and she teaches extensively in her home-country of Canada, as well as the US, to teens, people of color, and folks of all backgrounds.

To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for “Loving Your Many Sides”. 

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The star of SNL and Barry discusses how he channels his anxiety into his work. Plus, an imitation of Joseph Goldstein.

Bill Hader has made the transition from being a master of stand-out characters and impressions on eight seasons of Saturday Night Life to becoming a true multi-hyphenate by creating, directing, writing, producing and starring as a burned-out assassin trying to break into Hollywood as an actor in HBO’s award-winning and critically lauded dark comedy, Barry.

In this episode we talk about:

• How Bill deals with anxiety
• His panic attack on live television
• His love of directing and the importance of having the right collaborators

Full Shownotes:https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/bill-hader

Additional Resources:

Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install

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Next year marks the fifteenth anniversary of Gretchen Rubin’s #1 New York Times bestselling book, The Happiness Project. To celebrate, she’s leading a one-time, one-year course called “The Happiness Project: Revisited.” In this bonus excerpt from the course, Gretchen and Elizabeth explore the lessons Gretchen has learned over the years, talk about her plans to do a new happiness project in 2024, and discuss how other people can do their own happiness projects. 

You can learn more and sign up here—plus, get 30% off through December 31st with code THPR30DEC.

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'Tis the season for warmth, joy, and gift-giving! In this special holiday podcast episode, we explore the beautiful blend of holiday traditions and minimalism. Discover how to declutter your holiday shopping list, select meaningful gifts, and embrace the joy of giving without excess.

Join our expert hosts to redefine your holiday traditions, emphasizing presence over presents. Explore how minimalism can transform your gift-giving into a more meaningful and fulfilling experience. Happy holidays and happy listening!

Minimalist Holiday Gift Ideas

https://123minimize.com/products/p/holiday-gift-ideas

Minimalist Mom FB Group - Daily Challenges

https://www.facebook.com/groups/123minimizegroup

123 Minimize FB Page

https://www.facebook.com/123minimizepage

Website

https://123minimize.com

Plus, what happens if you don't repair, whether it's ever too late to repair, what "boundaries" actually are, and a helpful little tool for avoiding fights called the "MGI."

Dr. Becky Kennedy is a clinical psychologist, bestselling author, and mom of three. She is the author of Good Inside and the host of the podcast Good Inside with Dr. Becky. Her new TED Talk is called “The single most important parenting strategy.”

In this episode we talk about:

• How to repair damage after a fight
• What happens if you don’t repair
• Whether it’s ever too late to offer a repair
• Whether “good inside” is a thesis for all of humanity
• Whether punishment is ever appropriate
• Dr. Becky’s definition of “boundaries”
• A handy hack for avoiding fights called the “MGI”
• Whether or not Dr. Becky follows her own advice

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/becky-kennedy

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Aparna Nancherla is a writer, stand-up comedian, and actor. Her new book is Unreliable Narrator: Me, Myself and Impostor Syndrome. You can hear Aparna as the voice of Moon on Fox’s The Great North, or have heard her as the voice of Hollyhock on Bojack Horseman. She’s also appeared on The Drop, Lopez vs. Lopez, and Corporate. She’s written for Totally Biased with W. Kamau Bell and Late Night with Seth Meyers, as well as Mythic Quest on Apple+.

In this episode we talk about:

• How impostor syndrome relates to anxiety and depression
• Procrastination and how she sometimes feels it sets her up to do  good work, even though she hates it
• The difference between standup and therapy in her life
• How she feels about the word “no”
• The sometime-burden of representing South Asians in entertainment
• What it feels like to finally put this book out into the world

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/aparna-nancherla

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What if the most courageous, compassionate thing you could do in life, was to learn how to be with yourself? It’s a powerful, perhaps surprising idea put forward by this week’s guest, the Buddhist monk, meditation teacher and author Gelong Thubten. 

Thubten became a monk back in 1993 after suffering from severe physical and mental burnout whilst following his dream of becoming an actor in New York City.

His new book, A Handbook for Hard Times: A Monk’s Guide to Fearless Living, draws on what he’s learned over the past 30 years. Its premise is that we can embrace life’s difficulties as opportunities for personal transformation, using hard times to cultivate resilience, kindness, and happiness.

We begin our conversation talking about distraction and addiction, two states that are very closely linked. When we distract ourselves by scrolling, overeating, or drinking for example, says Thubten, we’re pushing away emotional pain or discomfort – even if we may not realise it. But the discomfort is really in the pushing. If we can learn instead to sit with what’s making us uncomfortable, those emotions start to transform.

So, how exactly are we meant to do this? Thubten explains that one way is through the practice of meditation and learning how to process negative emotions in the moment, rather than only understanding them in retrospect. 

The most common misconception is that meditation needs a clear mind. But thoughts are inevitable, and the goal is not to push them away. If we use meditation to sit with our thoughts, rather than escape them, the transformations really start to happen. We become less controlled by negative emotions and start to cultivate positive ones. Meditation can unlock our innate self-compassion and this, in turn, improves our relationship with ourselves and with others.

Thubten insists that you can’t fail at meditation, because it really just means ‘being you’. The more we meditate, the less we run away from hard times and fear, and the more we become our true, contented selves.

Thubten is an excellent communicator and I hope you enjoy this really special episode.

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In episode 16 of Berry Unearthed: Rooted in Resilience, Phil and Crystal Berry dive deep into the art of finding peace in the midst of life's daily hustle. Ever feel like you're constantly running but never really getting anywhere? The Berrys are here to share their personal strategies for reclaiming tranquility, even when life throws curveballs. From embracing spontaneous moments—like that perfect sip of water—to the importance of taking life one day at a time, this episode covers it all. They also delve into the subtle ways stress manifests and how to nip it in the bud before it overpowers you. If you've been looking for ways to inject a little serenity into your busy schedule, this episode is your one-stop shop for tips, laughter, and maybe even a newfound appreciation for the small things that make life worth living.

Welcome to the third installment of Meditation Party, an experiment we’re running with a chattier format – more of a morning zoo vibe, but way deeper, of course. Dan’s co-hosts in this episode are his two close friends: the great meditation teachers Sebene Selassie and Jeff Warren. Sebene Selassie is based in Brooklyn and describes herself as a “writer, teacher, and immigrant-weirdo.” She teaches meditation on the Ten Percent Happier app and is the author of a great book called, You Belong. Jeff Warren is based in Toronto and is also a writer and meditation teacher who co-wrote the book, Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics with Dan Harris. Jeff also hosts the Consciousness Explorers podcast.

Related Episodes:

#489. Can You Really Conquer Hatred Through Love? | Father Gregory Boyle

#519. The Art and Science of Keeping Your Sh*t Together | Shinzen Young and James Gross 

Best of the Archives: Making it RAIN | Tara Brach

For more info on the Meditation Party Retreat: Meditation Party Workshop at Omega Institute

To watch this interview online, go to: https://www.youtube.com/@TenPercentHappier

If you want to be part of the show, please call in with a question or comment. The number is 508-656-0540. Or you can email us with a voice memo at podcast@tenpercent.com with a voice memo. 

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/meditation-party-3

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Get out of the trance of thinking and explore what it’s like to be more generous with your attention directly, here, now.

About Pascal Auclair:

Pascal Auclair has been immersed in Buddhist practice and study since 1997, mentored by Joseph Goldstein and Jack Kornfield at the Insight Meditation Society in Massachusetts and Spirit Rock Meditation Center in California. He is a co-founder of True North Insight and one of TNI’s Guiding Teachers. 

To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for “The Present Moment.”

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