Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris

Actionable advice on working with one of the few socially acceptable vices.

Whilst striving for perfection might seem logical on some level, it’s not actually attainable. And the research shows it can lead to burnout, stress, anxiety, depression, relationship problems, reduced productivity, and reduced resilience.

Thomas Curran is a professor in the Department of Psychological and Behavioral Science at the London School of Economics and is the author of The Perfection Trap: Embracing the Power of Good Enough. 

In this episode we talk about:

• The definition of perfectionism – it’s more than just high standards
• The 3 flavors of perfectionism
• The surprising findings on perfectionism and gender 
• Perfectionism VS imposter syndrome 
• The root of perfectionism 
• The variables that lead to perfectionism 
• Thomas’ critiques on capitalism and growth mindset
• How to actually implement mantras like “progress not perfection” and “embracing good enough”
• 4 elements to combat imperfectionism 
• The recipe for achieving inner abundance
• How to make good work without caring what other people think of you?
• And parenting and perfectionism 

Related Episodes:

• Do You Feel Like an Imposter? | Dr. Valerie Young (Co-Interviewed by Dan's Wife, Bianca!) 
• How To End The War With Your Body | Sonya Renee Taylor.
• The Science of Failing Well | Amy Edmondson
• Dr. Mark Epstein On: How To Transform Your Neuroses Into “Little Shmoos”
• The Zen of Therapy | Mark Epstein 
• Weird Dreams, Family Relationships, and Collective Trauma I Dr. Mark Epstein

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Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/thomas-curran

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• Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install

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What is happiness? Investigate how happiness is created, what it’s really like, and learn to access the simple happiness of right now.

About Jay Michaelson:

Rabbi Dr. Jay Michaelson is the author of ten books, including his newest, The Secret That Is Not A Secret: Ten Heretical Tales. In his “other career,” Jay is a columnist for The Daily Beast, and was a professional LGBTQ activist for ten years. Jay is an ordained rabbi and has taught meditation in secular, Buddhist, and Jewish context for eighteen years.

To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for “What Is Happiness.”

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Talking creativity and sanity with one of the world’s biggest pop stars.

British-Albanian singer-songwriter Dua Lipa emerged as a global pop sensation with her captivating blend of sultry vocals, empowering lyrics, and infectious beats. Born in London in 1995 to Albanian parents, Lipa's musical journey began at a young age, inspired by her father's own musical career. She hosts the podcast Dua Lipa: At Her Service, and her latest album is Radical Optimism. 

In this episode we talk about:

• What she means by radical optimism – and how it applied when she literally fell on stage
• How she resists the temptation to fully armor herself
• Her famous work ethic and packed schedule  
• Her non-negotiable daily practices, including meditation
• Her social media hygiene (specially, how to stay sane when nearly 80 million people follow you on Instagram alone)
• And we have a great conversation about creativity, including how she builds psychological safety with her team in studio and on tour
• Why she had to write 97 songs to make this one album
• And her concept of “writing herself into a good idea” – as she says, “You have to be shit to be good.” 

Related Episodes:

• Bill Hader on Anxiety, Imposter Syndrome, and Leaning into Discomfort
• Pema Chödrön, Renowned Buddhist Nun, On Her One Non-Negotiable Happiness Strategy
• The Science of Hope | Jacqueline Mattis
• Hope Is a Skill | George Mumford
• Discomfort: A Counterintuitive Source of Hope | Sebene Selassie

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Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/dua-lipa

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• Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install

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A research-backed plan for getting your sh*t together in every possible sphere.

We’re going to talk about some smart strategies today with Emma Seppälä, Ph.D. She is a psychologist and research scientist, with an expertise in the science of happiness, emotional intelligence, and social connection. She is the Science Director of Stanford University’s Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education and she also teaches executives at the Yale School of Management. She’s been on this show before, to discuss her best-selling book The Happiness Track. And today she’s back to discuss her new book, Sovereign: Reclaim Your Freedom, Energy, and Power in a Time of Distraction, Uncertainty, and Chaos. 

In this episode we talk about:

• What she means by that term, sovereign
• The neuroscience of emotion regulation
• The science of intuition – and how to work with it when you’re a critical thinker
• How our past can unconsciously bind us 
• The impact of trauma
• The latest evidence for the benefits of meditation
• And how to cultivate what scientists call Positive Relational Energy

Related Episodes:

• Three Lessons from a Happiness Researcher | Emma Seppälä
• The Scientific Case for Self-Compassion | Chris Germer
• Can You Really Trust Your Gut? | Amber Tamblyn

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Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/emma-seppala-764

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• Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install

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The creator of somatic experiencing shows Dan how to heal trauma through the body.

Peter A. Levine, Ph.D., has spent the past 50 years developing Somatic Experiencing. He holds a doctorate in Biophysics from UC Berkeley and a doctorate in Psychology from International University. His work has been taught to over 30,000 therapists in over 42 countries. He is the author of the new book, An Autobiography of Trauma.

Content warning: This episode includes discussions of rape and violence.

In this episode we talk about:

• How to do somatic experiencing. You’ll see Dan play the role of guinea pig + make weird sounds
• The difference between somatic experiencing and talk therapy
• Somatic experiencing practices we can implement into our lives
• Why some people feel horror/terror at the thought of re-occupying the body and how to overcome those fears
• What the research says – and how these practices around body awareness have gone from the fringes to entering the scientific mainstream
• And how to move through ancient wounds – and enrich our lives (whether we have trauma or not)
• Practices to fortify us in times of difficulty
• Facing mortality 

Related Episodes:

Become An Active Operator Of Your Nervous System | Deb Dana

What Science and Buddhism Say About How to Regulate Your Own Nervous System | Deb Dana & Kaira Jewel Lingo

How to Live with the Worst Things That Ever Happened to You | Stephanie Foo

An Ace Therapist Gives Dan A Run For His Money | Dr. Jacob Ham

How to Get Out of Your Head | Willa Blythe Baker

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Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/peter-levine

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Tap into your ADHD superpowers with a meditation that celebrates your unique wiring. Embrace exploration and self-acceptance.

About Jeff Warren:

Jeff is an incredibly gifted meditation teacher. He's trained in multiple traditions, including with renowned teacher Shinzen Young. Jeff is the co-author of NY Times Bestseller "Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics," and the founder of the Consciousness Explorers Club, a meditation adventure group in Toronto. He has a knack for surfacing the exact meditation that will help everyone he meets. "I have a meditation for that" is regularly heard from Jeff, so we've dubbed him the "Meditation MacGyver."

More information on the group retreat (AKA Meditation Party) at the Omega Institute is here. 

To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for “Meditating with ADHD.” 

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Buddhist strategies for taming that nagging voice in your head.

Ofosu Jones-Quartey, a meditation teacher, author, and musician hailing from the Washington DC area brings over 17 years of experience in sharing mindfulness, meditation and self-compassion practices with the world. Holding a bachelor’s degree from American University and certified by the Mindfulness Meditation Teacher Certification Program, Ofosu is a graduate of the Teleos Coaching Institute and is the male voice on the Balance meditation app, reaching over 10 million subscribers. 

Ofosu leads meditation classes and retreats nationwide, having taught and led retreats at the Insight Meditation Community of Washington, The Insight Meditation Society, Spirit Rock, Brooklyn Zen Center, Cleveland Insight, Inward Bound Mindfulness and more.

As an accomplished hip hop artist under the name “Born I,” Ofosu released the mindfulness-themed album “In This Moment” in 2021. His most recent album is “AMIDA”, a spiritual, Lo-Fi Hip Hop album exploring life, death and his Buddhist faith.

Beyond music, Ofosu is an author, releasing his self-published children’s book “You Are Enough” in 2020 and “Love Your Amazing Self” via Storey Publishing in 2022. He lives in Rockville, Maryland, with his wife and four children.

In this episode we talk about:

• The relationship between self-compassion and a successful meditation practice
• All the reasons people resist self-compassion, and his rebuttals
• Whether self-compassion is selfish
• How to do self-compassion off the cushion, including practices like journaling, written reminders, establishing accountability partners, and simple questions you can drop into your mind when all else fails
• How to do self-compassion on the cushion, including practices like body scans, metta, and a check-in practice you can use at the very start of your sits
• And how to teach self-compassion to children

Related Episodes:

The Voice in Your Head | Ethan Kross

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• Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install

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How self compassion works, how to practice it, and what the research says about the benefits.

GUEST BIO:

Dr. Serena Chen is Professor of Psychology and the Marian E. and Daniel E. Koshland, Jr. Distinguished Chair for Innovative Teaching and Research at the University of California, Berkeley. Her research focuses on the self and identity, interpersonal relationships, and social power and influence. She is a Fellow of the Society of Personality and Social Psychology, American Psychological Association, and Association of Psychological Science. Dr. Chen was also the recipient of the Early Career Award from the International Society for Self and Identity, and the Distinguished Teaching Award from the Social Sciences Division of the University of California, Berkeley.

In this episode we talk about:

• The connection between self-compassion and authenticity
• As well as self-compassion exercises that you can incorporate into your daily life
• How self-compassion influences the desire for self improvement
• How it can lead you to be more understanding of other people 
• The connection between self-compassion and good leadership 
• And how self-compassion can apply to parenting as well as to educational realms 

Related Episodes:

How to Make Self-Compassion Work for You | Kristin Neff

Kryptonite for the Inner Critic, Self-Compassion Series | Kristin Neff

Self-Compassion Ain’t Always Soft | Kristin Neff

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Cara introduces you to the magic of doing less. These gentle no-frills instructions get right to the heart of meditation practice.

About Cara Lai:

Cara Lai spent most of her life trying to figure out how to be happy, or at least avoid total misery, which landed her on a meditation cushion for the majority of her adulthood. Throughout many consciousness adventures including a few mind-bendingly long meditation retreats, she has explored the wilderness of the mind, chronic illness, the importance of pleasure, and a wide range of other things that she might get in trouble for mentioning publicly. In the past, Cara has worked as an artist, wilderness guide, social worker and psychotherapist, but at this point she’s given up on being an adult in exchange for an all-out mindfulness rampage. Her teaching is relatable, authentic, funny and sometimes crass, and is accessible for many people. She teaches teens and adults at Inward Bound Mindfulness Education, Spirit Rock, Insight Meditation Society, and UCLA; ultimately hoping to become as good of a show-off as Dan. And to help people be happier.

To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for “Put It All Down.”

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Debating the cliche: Does everything happen for a reason? Plus, the Meditation Party crew tackles equanimity, work/life balance, and meditation vs napping.

Sebene Selassie describes herself as a “writer, teacher, and immigrant-weirdo.” She teaches meditation on the ten percent happier app and is the author of a great book called You Belong. She’s based in Brooklyn. 

Jeff Warren is also a writer and a meditation teacher. He and Dan co-wrote the book, Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics. He also hosts the Consciousness Explorers podcast. He’s based in Toronto. 

If you want to be part of the show, please call in with a question or comment. The number is 508-656-0540. Or you can email us with a voice memo at podcast@tenpercent.com with a voice memo. 

Tickets for the two more Meditation Party retreats this year at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, New York are available now. The last one was a blast. Come join us for both. One is in May, the other October. 

Related Episodes:

How to Stay Calm No Matter What’s Happening | Sebene Selassie and Jeff Warren

Meditation Party: The “Sh*t Is Fertilizer” Edition | Sebene Selassie & Jeff Warren

Meditation Party with Sebene Selassie and Jeff Warren: Psychedelics, ADHD, Waking Up From Distraction, and Singing Without Being Self-Conscious

Meditation Party: Magic, Mystery, Intuition, Tattoos, and Non-Efforting | Sebene Selassie and Jeff Warren

Science-Based Tools for When You're Stressed, Obsessed, or Overthinking | Dr. Jenny Taitz

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Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/med-party-howtohandle

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Digging into the nuts and bolts of Stoicism with one of its best-known modern proponents.

Ryan Holiday is a prolific author, whose books include The Obstacle Is the Way, Ego Is the Enemy, and Discipline is Destiny. His newest book, Right Thing, Right Now, comes out in June, and is available for pre-order now. Ryan is also the host of the Daily Stoic Podcast.

In this episode we talk about:

• The history and theory of Stoicism, and some of its big names (including a former Vice Presidential candidate)
• Premeditatio Melorem, or thinking ahead to the worst possible outcome in order to avoid it
• Memento Mori, or being aware of the inevitability of one’s own death
• Amor Fati, or “loving one’s fate” as a path to acceptance of reality
• Journaling as a key Stoic practice, of talking to oneself on the page
• The four Stoic values: Courage, Temperance, Justice, Wisdom
• How Stoicism and Buddhism overlap – and how they don’t

Related Episodes:

The Dharma of Artificial Intelligence (AI) | Jasmine Wang & Iain S. Thomas

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Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/ryan-holiday

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New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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Get comfortable with uncertainty and cultivate trust in life, even in the most turbulent times.

About Sebene Selassie:

Growing up, Sebene felt like a big weirdo. Born in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia and raised in white neighborhoods in Washington, D.C., she was a tomboy Black girl who loved Monty Python and UB40. She never believed she belonged. Thirty years ago, she began studying Buddhism as an undergraduate at McGill University where she majored in Comparative Religious Studies. Now, Sebene is a teacher, author, and speaker who teaches that meditation can help us remember our inherent sense of belonging, that our individual freedom affects absolutely everyone and everything, and that our collective freedom depends on each and every one of us. Sebene is a three-time cancer survivor of Stage III and IV cancer.

To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for “Trust Yourself and Breathe.”

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Death isn’t the most appetizing topic, but contemplating mortality can be a massive source of motivation, perspective, and even stress relief. In this episode, life lessons from a death doula, who helps people at the end.

Description: 

There seems to be one clear bug in the human operating system — most of us do not like talking about death. Yet when we do talk about it, it can genuinely upgrade the quality of our lives.

Our guest today is Alua Arthur, a former attorney who is now what’s called a death doula, which is someone who helps guide people through the end of their lives. Through this work, she has learned some extraordinary stuff about how to live life right now. 

Alua is also the founder of Going with Grace, a death doula training and end-of-life planning organization. Her debut memoir, Briefly Perfectly Human: Making An Authentic Life By Getting Real About the End, will be released on April 16, 2024.

This conversation took place at the 2023 TED Conference in Vancouver, immediately after Alua delivered her triumphant talk, which is out now. 

Special thanks to the TED Audio Collective. You can listen to Alua's talk and other TED talks on the TED Talks Daily podcast. 

In this episode we talk about:

• How death can be a powerful motivator 
• How consistently being aware that you’re going to die can be a “stress reliever” 
• The utility of imagining your ideal death
• Her view on reincarnation 
• How the concept of “healing” can sometimes be used as a weapon against ourselves 
• The importance of not leaving things unsaid 
• How “hope” at the end of life can sometimes be unhelpful
• What surprises her about death 
• How her work helped her out of her depression
• The five steps that you should take when confronting your own death 
• The harm that can sometimes result from too much medical intervention toward the end of life
• The often fraught relationship that vulnerable and marginalized people can have with the medical community 
• The benefits of thinking about what version of yourself you want to meet on your deathbed
• The death meditation that she uses when working with people 
• What to say and do when you are with somebody who is grieving 
• And a practice she calls, “The dying things exercise” 

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/Alua-Arthur-archive

Where to find Alua Arthur online: 

Website: goingwithgrace.com

Social Media:

• Twitter 
• Facebook 
• Instagram
• YouTube

Book Mentioned:

• Briefly Perfectly Human: Making An Authentic Life by Getting Real About the End

Other Resources Mentioned:

• Link to Alua’s TED talk
• Link to Dan’s TED talk
• Gail Ruben
• Glennon Doyle
• Atīśa Dīpaṃkara Śrījñāna
• Roshi Joan Halifax
• Larry Rosenberg

Additional Resources:

• Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install

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Professor and writer Arthur Brooks on his recent book (co-authored with Oprah Winfrey): Build The Life You Want: The Art and Science of Getting Happier. Arthur has seen the themes of this book play out in his own life. He started his career as a classical French horn player, then got his PhD in public policy analysis, and went on to run a think tank called the American Enterprise Institute. He is currently a professor at the Harvard Kennedy School and Harvard Business School. He also does work with The Atlantic, where he writes a column and hosts a podcast called How to Build a Happy Life. Arthur was formerly on Ten Percent Happier to discuss his book From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life. 

In this episode we talk about:

• Myth busting about happiness
• The three macronutrients of happiness
• The perils of pursuing pleasure
• How to be effectively and wisely ambitious
• How to ascertain if you have meaning in your life
• How to manage your emotions
• The difference between healthy and unhealthy envy 

Related Episodes:

• The Good News About Your Inevitable Decline | Arthur Brooks
• Why Dwight from The Office (Rainn Wilson) Is Calling for a “Spiritual Revolution”
• The Upsides And Downsides Of Living A More Examined Life | Matt Harris

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Get your blood moving, mindfully! You can cultivate relaxation, even when you’re walking at a faster clip.

About Diana Winston:

Diana Winston is the Director of Mindfulness Education at UCLA’s Mindful Awareness Research Center and the author of several books including Fully Present: The Science, Art, and Practice of Mindfulness.

To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for “Brisk Mindful Walking.” 

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How our false expectations and misunderstandings about relationships can create an incalculable amount of suffering — and the many problems of the "You complete me" model.

Description: 

This episode was part one of our four-part series where we’re counter-programming against the way Valentine’s Day is often celebrated, and examining different kinds of relationships including romantic, friendship, and family. 

Today’s guest hews a bit more closely to the traditional Valentine’s Day theme and will do some myth-busting around all the things we tend to get wrong when we talk about romantic relationships. 

Myisha Battle is the author of the book, “This Is Supposed to Be Fun: How To Find Joy in Hooking Up, Settling Down, and Everything in Between.” She also hosts the podcast How’s Your Sex Life?  Much of her public work focuses on the early stages of relationships, but in her private practice, she counsels people at all stages, and in all kinds of relationships. 

Content Warning: Explicit language and conversations about sex. 

In this episode we talk about:

• Five ways to improve intimacy and connection in romantic partnership
• The nuts and bolts of sex, and how we often get intimacy and sex confused in unhelpful ways
• Understanding men’s and women’s cycles to depersonalize issues in sex and relationships
• The myth of finding “the one”
• The orgasm gap
• Bromance
• And if you’re looking, tips on how to make finding a partner easier

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/myisha-battle-archive 

Where to find Myisha Battle online: 

Website: www.myishabattle.com/

Social Media:

• Twitter: @MyishaBattle
• Instagram: @MyishaBattle

Book Mentioned:

• This Is Supposed to Be Fun: How To Find Joy in Hooking Up, Settling Down, and Everything in Between 

Other Resources Mentioned:

• Alain de Botton’s  Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person 
• The School of Life 
• #418. How Not to Ruin Your Relationships | Drs. John & Julie Gottman
• #213: Mating in Captivity, Esther Perel
• #464. How to Keep Friendships From Imploding | Esther Perel
• Half the World Has a Clitoris. Why Don’t Doctors Study It?
• Michael Vincent Miller’s Intimate Terrorism
• Esther Perel’s Mating in Captivity

Additional Resources:

• Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install

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Hidden sources of stress — and how to beat them. Also: the myth of normal, the necessity of being disillusioned, and the disutility of comparing your suffering.

Description: 

There’s so much to be grateful for in modern medicine. We can all agree that we would not do as well in a world with no Advil or dentistry. And yet, our guest today, who is a renowned doctor, says modern medicine is overlooking something crucial: the pernicious impact that modern living has on our minds and bodies. In other words, we are surrounded by these hidden societal and structural sources of stress and we aren’t thinking about how to treat and prevent these factors that are degrading our happiness and our immune systems. 

Dr. Gabor Maté is a bestselling author with an expertise on everything from stress to addiction to ADHD. His latest book is called, The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture

Content Warning: This episode has mentions of child abuse, sexual trauma, suicide and addiction

In this episode we talk about:

• What he means by “the myth of normal”
• How diseases, such as autoimmune conditions, are an “artifact of civilization”
• How to begin to tackle what Dr. Maté calls, “the social sources of illness” 
• His definition of trauma and the difference between “big T traumatic events” and the trauma of “wounding”
• How trauma in society is so normalized that we don’t even recognize it
• Whether the term trauma is overused
• Why comparing suffering is a fruitless endeavor 
• What he means by “the necessity to be disillusioned” 
• The power and possibility of psychedelics 
• Why he thinks we should incorporate shamanic medicine into our western medical framework
• And what he means by “undoing self-limiting beliefs” and how these beliefs show up in our everyday lives

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/gabor-mate-archive

Where to find Gabor Maté online: 

Website: drgabormate.com

Social Media:

• Twitter
• Facebook
• Instagram
• YouTube

Books Mentioned:

• The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture
• When the Body Says No: Exploring the Stress-Disease Connection
• Scattered Minds: The Origins and Healing of Attention Deficit Disorder
• In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction 
• Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers

Other Resources Mentioned:

• The Wisdom of Trauma 
• Posttraumatic Stress Disorder Is Associated with Increased Risk of Ovarian Cancer: A Prospective and Retrospective Longitudinal Cohort Study
• Decrease in depression symptoms is associated with longer survival in patients with metastatic breast cancer: a secondary analysis
• Marital Status, Marital Strain, and Risk of Coronary Heart Disease or Total Mortality: The Framingham Offspring Study
• George Engel
• How spanking may affect brain development in children
• The Trauma of Everyday Life by Dr. Mark Epstein
• IntraConnected: MWe (Me + We) as the Integration of Self, Identity, and Belonging by Dr. Dan Siegel
• A. H. Almaas

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The next time you’re in the grocery store, instead of the grind, step into a grateful state of mind.

About Anushka Fernandopulle:

Anushka teaches meditation, works as an organizational consultant, and does leadership coaching with individuals and teams. She has practiced meditation for over 25 years, including four years in full-time intensive training in monasteries and retreat centers in the US, India and Sri Lanka.

Her work is informed by a BA in anthropology/religion from Harvard University, an MBA from Yale focused on leadership and organizational behavior, and certification in coaching from the Coaches Training Institute.

To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for “Gratitude in the Grocery Store.” 

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Buddhist strategies for making money and being creative.

Meditation teacher David Nichtern believes that business can be, in his words, an essential spiritual practice. He has been practicing and teaching meditation for over 40 years. He’s also the author of a book, Creativity, Spirituality, and Making a Buck. And he hosts a podcast by the same name. He began his career as a successful composer, producer, and guitarist. He’s recorded and played with Stevie Wonder, Jerry Garcia, Lana Del Rey, Paul Simon, and others. Recently, he’s become an entrepreneur, founding an online mindfulness based education platform called Dharma Moon.

You can check out the video series based on his latest book, here. And on June 14, David’s leading a 100 Hour Mindfulness Teacher Training. For more info, check out the Dharma Moon website.

Related Episodes:

Duncan Trussell on: Being a Spiritual Omnivore, Whether Psychedelics Are a Bridge to the Divine, and How the Gates of Hell Are Locked From the Inside

A Buddhist Approach to Money Worries | Ethan Nichtern

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Why fear of other people’s opinions (FOPO) holds us back, and what to do about it.  

Michael Gervais is a high performance psychologist and the host of the Finding Mastery podcast. His new book is called The First Rule of Mastery: Stop Worrying About What People Think of You. 

In this episode we talk about:

• A handy new acronym: FOPO, Fear of People’s Opinions 
• How the evolutionary roots of our desire for social acceptance work against us in the modern world 
• Why caring about what others think is not the same thing as worrying about what others think 
• The difference between a purpose-based identity and a performance-based identity 
• The anti-FOPO power of things like: imagination, journaling, meditation, social support, and considering your mortality
• Why focusing less on yourself can be the greatest bulwark against FOPO

Related Episodes:

• Michael Gervais and Pete Carroll
• Michael Gervais in conversation with Jon Kabat-Zinn 

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Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok

Ten Percent Happier online bookstore

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel

Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/michael-gervais-returns

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