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    About this Episode

    Today we share conversations on love and relationships with an SOG fan favorite, Stephan Speaks. Stephan and Lewis touch on the transformative power of healing, the strength found in showing vulnerability, and the secret sauce to keeping connections alive and thriving over time. Stephan opens up about the journey of mending from past wounds as a gateway to more joyful and satisfying partnerships ahead. He draws a clear line between the kind of disagreements that foster growth and the arguments that tear us apart, reminding us that respect is the way through any rough patch.

    In this episode you will learn

    • How to navigate the healing process from past relationships to make room for healthier future connections.
    • The difference between constructive disagreements and harmful arguing, and the importance of maintaining respect.
    • Strategies for improving communication skills to better express needs and understand those of a partner.
    • The significance of emotional safety and vulnerability in deepening relationship connections.
    • Ways to recognize and address unhealed trauma that can affect current and future relationships.

    For more information go to www.lewishowes.com/1573

    For more Greatness text PODCAST to +1 (614) 350-3960

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    🔑 Key Takeaways

    • Disagreements in a relationship are normal, but it is important to approach them with respect and avoid arguing, as it can create negativity and harm the relationship in the long run.
    • Healing in relationships requires conscious effort, compassionate communication, and a commitment to respecting and understanding each other. Taking the necessary steps can improve the quality of choices, relationships, and overall well-being.
    • Acknowledge past hurts, eliminate distractions, and communicate effectively to foster personal growth and build healthy relationships.
    • Open communication, alignment, and a willingness to compromise are key to building a healthy and fulfilling long-term relationship. Personal beliefs and spirituality can also be helpful in navigating challenges.
    • Men value respect, support, and sexual satisfaction while women crave love, non-sexual intimacy, and emotional connection. Meeting these distinct needs leads to a happier and more fulfilling relationship.
    • Love, security, and stimulation are crucial for a satisfying relationship. Men need to tap into their feminine side and find a balance between masculine and feminine energies to fully satisfy their partner. True love can be instant and immediate.
    • Healing from past relationships is essential to fully embrace and trust our intuitive feelings, allowing for a potentially amazing relationship to flourish.
    • Prioritize personal healing before pursuing a relationship to avoid potential sabotage or using others as a false sense of safety. Seek therapeutic support and engage in healing activities for progress, not just coping mechanisms.
    • Healing from past hurts and embracing positivity sets the foundation for attracting a great partner and navigating the dating world with clarity and discernment.

    📝 Podcast Summary

    Navigating Disagreements with Respect

    Disagreements in a relationship are acceptable, but disrespect is not. It is important to navigate disagreements with respect and come to a resolution together. Arguing, on the other hand, involves being disrespectful, using negative tones and words, and throwing negative energy at your partner. This is not healthy for a relationship. Many people use the idea of arguing being healthy as an excuse to avoid addressing their flaws and issues. However, it is crucial to learn how to communicate effectively and treat your partner with respect. One bad argument can plant a seed of negativity in the relationship, leading to bigger issues over time.

    The Importance of Healing in Relationships

    Healing is essential for improving relationships. Continuing to argue and disrespect each other only leads to negative consequences, such as a breakdown in communication and intimacy. It's important to understand that disagreements are acceptable, but disrespect is not. When voicing your thoughts and feelings, it's crucial to consider your tone and approach. Attacking and tearing down your partner will never yield positive results. Instead, focus on being compassionate, considerate, and mindful in your communication. Healing takes time and effort, and it's not solely a matter of waiting for wounds to heal on their own. By doing the necessary work, you can enhance the quality of your choices, relationships, and overall well-being.

    The Power of Healing and Effective Communication for Personal Growth and Healthy Relationships.

    Healing is essential for personal growth and healthy relationships. Many people go through life carrying unresolved pain and hurt, which can hinder their ability to truly connect and find lasting happiness. The first step in healing is acknowledging the people who have hurt us and writing them down on a "who hurt me" list. This exercise helps us identify what we've been holding onto and allows us to start the healing process. It's crucial to approach this exercise with genuine introspection, allowing ourselves to feel without trying to control the narrative. Additionally, eliminating distractions and influences that feed our struggles, such as social media or certain forms of entertainment, can help us be more present in our relationships and prevent temptations that can undermine commitment. Effective communication about needs and expectations in relationships is also vital for maintaining satisfaction and avoiding disillusionment.

    Nurturing a Healthy and Long-lasting Relationship

    For a healthy and long-term commitment, it is crucial for individuals in a relationship to have natural alignment and not force each other to change. It is important to minimize stress and anxiety within the relationship, while also openly communicating needs and desires. It is essential for both partners to express what they want and be open to discussing even the most intimate and potentially uncomfortable topics. Moreover, it is necessary to determine what is truly important and can be compromised on in a relationship. There is a belief that the majority of men can be happy with one woman if their needs are being met, while a smaller percentage of highly ambitious and successful men may struggle with the idea of monogamy due to their desire for more and their high sexual energy. However, it is worth noting that maintaining a strong connection with spirituality or personal beliefs can help navigate these struggles.

    Understanding and Meeting Different Needs in Relationships

    Men and women have different needs in a relationship. For men, the three most important things are respect, support, and sexual satisfaction. Without these, it can lead to problems and even infidelity. Men need to feel respected and supported by their partner, and sexual fulfillment is also crucial for their happiness. On the other hand, women need love and non-sexual intimacy. They crave emotional and mental connection, being held and cared for. While sex is important to women too, it's not enough if the other aspects are lacking. Understanding and meeting these distinct needs can lead to a happier and more fulfilling relationship for both partners.

    Creating a Fulfilling Partnership

    Love, security, and stimulation are crucial for a satisfying relationship. Women need to feel safe and comfortable with their partner, both mentally and emotionally, in order to experience sexual satisfaction. Keeping the relationship stimulating and avoiding boredom is essential. It can be challenging for men to provide these key elements because they are often driven to provide and focus on their goals. However, they need to tap into their feminine side and find a balance between masculine and feminine energies to fully satisfy their partner. It's important for men to learn how to love in their masculine while still being vulnerable and sensitive. Ultimately, it's about finding the right balance and mastering oneself to create a fulfilling partnership. Additionally, society has mistakenly taught us that love takes time to develop, but true love can be instant and immediate in many cases.

    Recognizing and Trusting True Connections

    Our spirits are often ahead of our minds and hearts when it comes to recognizing a true connection. This recognition happens on a deeper level, based on intuition and gut instincts. However, fear and past hurts can hinder our ability to fully embrace and trust these feelings. Healing from past relationships is crucial in order to let go of fear and not sabotage a potentially amazing relationship. Without healing, even meeting the right person can be overwhelming and scary. On the other hand, if both parties haven't healed but choose to stay together, it is possible to heal and grow together in the relationship. Timing and personal growth play significant roles in building a lasting connection.

    The Importance of Healing Before Entering a Relationship

    It is crucial to heal before entering into a relationship. Many people try to be with someone they have a connection with without addressing their own healing, leading to potential sabotage or going back to an ex for a false sense of safety. Healing while engaging in casual sex or multiple partners is possible but highly unlikely, as sex can become a distracting coping mechanism and hinder the healing process. To start the healing process, seeking the help of a therapist or coach is ideal, but it's important to ensure progress is being made and not just finding ways to cope. Taking steps like creating a "who hurt me" list and writing letters to release hurt can aid in the healing journey. It's essential to know when enough healing has occurred before venturing into new relationships or online dating, and seeking closure by sending letters to the individuals involved may sometimes be necessary.

    Prioritize healing for a fulfilling relationship.

    Healing is crucial before seeking a healthy and fulfilling relationship. It is essential to address past hurts, traumas, and negative perceptions to open oneself up to vulnerability and positive energy. By healing, individuals can connect with their own spirits and become more attuned to the energy of others. It is important to let go of past disappointments and embrace a more positive outlook. Only then can one attract a great partner and manifest a long-term committed relationship. Healing allows individuals to recognize the facade that some people put up and enables them to navigate the dating world with discernment and clarity. So, prioritize healing before embarking on the journey of finding love.

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