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    Pastor Sarah Jakes Roberts: Do THIS to OVERCOME Trauma & DISCOVER Your Inner Power!

    Communicate openly, address emotional safety, understand triggers, seek therapy, and share compatible values to build a strong and lasting partnership.

    enApril 24, 2024

    About this Episode

    Welcome to The School of Greatness! I'm your host, Lewis Howes, and today we're joined by Sarah Jakes Roberts, an empowering speaker and author who dives deep into why many of us fear harnessing our inner power. In this episode, Sarah shares her journey of overcoming feelings of powerlessness, navigating insecurities, and the reasons behind self-sabotage. She also discusses the importance of authenticity in meeting expectations and reveals three transformative strategies from her book "Power Moves." Whether you're looking to conquer fears, enhance relationships, or align your intentions, Sarah's insights offer valuable guidance for embracing your true power. Let's get started!

    Buy her new book for yourself and a friend! Power Moves: Ignite Your Confidence & Become a Force

    In this episode you will learn

    • How to identify and overcome the internal fears that prevent you from embracing and utilizing your true potential.
    • The importance of authenticity and how to stay true to yourself while meeting external expectations.
    • Techniques for managing nerves and ego to remain fully present and impactful during public speaking or in leadership roles.
    • Insights into the dynamics of power in relationships and how to navigate them effectively for a more fulfilling personal and professional life.
    • Why people often sabotage their own success and how to break this cycle to achieve your true potential.

    For more information go to www.lewishowes.com/1606

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    🔑 Key Takeaways

    • Be true to ourselves and share knowledge to help others, authenticity is about sincerity not performance or perfection.
    • Accept constructive feedback, focus on personal development, and find inner peace for growth and resilience.
    • Accepting and trusting oneself are crucial for personal growth and success. Fear of sabotaging opportunities can hold us back, but staying true to oneself while learning and growing can lead to inspiring others.
    • Allow self-doubt, nerves, and mistakes to pass, as they're part of the journey to connect and positively impact others.
    • Shift focus from self to others, embrace awkward silences, and deliver pure, life-changing messages to provide value to audience
    • Embrace imperfections, practice self-care, and focus on personal growth to show up as your authentic self, even in vulnerable moments.
    • Identifying emotions and understanding their hold on us allows us to extract their power and live a more fulfilling life, refusing to let fear dictate our future, and embracing our duality for wholeness, peace, confidence, and purpose.
    • Identify and confront fears, practice using your voice, own expertise, and embrace power to make desired changes.
    • Ask yourself what drives your desire to succeed and ensure it's rooted in genuine desire to make a positive impact, not ego. Define your personal definition of success to maintain focus on serving others.
    • Effective communication, honesty, loyalty, and joy are essential for a strong relationship. Prioritizing individual needs and desires can lead to a more fulfilling partnership, while fear of losing control can hinder emotional safety.
    • Communicate openly, address emotional safety, understand triggers, seek therapy, and share compatible values to build a strong and lasting partnership.
    • Understanding past experiences can impact present and future relationships, and identifying joy can help navigate tough times, making a positive impact starting with ourselves.
    • Embrace past experiences and focus on personal growth for effective knowledge sharing and greater impact
    • Believing in your worth as a creation of God is a powerful way to release shame and step into a more confident identity, even if it takes time and consistent choices.
    • Realizing compassion towards past self and understanding context allows self-forgiveness, hinders shame and judgment can hinder growth, owning harm is part of forgiveness journey, self-forgiveness is ongoing process
    • Power and vulnerability are linked, and embracing vulnerability allows individuals to access their power and make a positive impact. Fear of change and loss of power can hinder growth, but recognizing the transient nature of power and being open to new experiences can lead to continued growth and influence.
    • Be intentional, prioritize relationships, and stay true to your values for personal growth and success
    • Trust yourself, love all versions of self, cherish connections, avoid saving role, embrace past, value relationships, recognize self-responsibility

    📝 Podcast Summary

    Embracing inner power and authenticity

    Embracing our inner power and authenticity, rather than being held back by shame and past traumas, is key to becoming a force for good in our lives and in the world. Sarah Jakes Roberts shares her journey of reclaiming her power and encourages us to be sincere and honest in our actions, whether at home or on a public stage. She emphasizes that authenticity is not about performance or perfection, but about being true to ourselves and sharing our knowledge and experiences to help others. To navigate the power of our various roles and platforms, Sarah suggests staying authentic and sincere in all aspects of our lives, allowing our inner power to overflow into our actions and impact those around us.

    Examining inner insecurities for growth

    Recognizing and addressing our inner insecurities is crucial for growth and resilience, rather than engaging in battles with external negativity. By examining the root causes of our reactions, we can learn to navigate past hurtful comments and criticism, and focus on our own personal development. It's essential to accept the truth in constructive feedback while not letting it define us, and understanding that everyone, including ourselves, has unique circumstances that shape who we are. The journey to acceptance and self-awareness may not have a definitive starting point, but rather a gradual process of finding inner peace and strength.

    Embracing identity and trusting oneself for growth

    Embracing all aspects of our identity and trusting ourselves to deliver when given opportunities are key to personal growth and success. The speaker shares her experience of reconciling her identity as TDJ's daughter with her own accomplishments, emphasizing the importance of accepting and trusting oneself. She also reflects on the fear of sabotaging opportunities and the importance of staying true to oneself while learning and growing. The speaker's journey from resisting speaking engagements to embracing them as a means of inspiring others illustrates the power of trusting oneself and the potential impact of sharing one's story.

    Embrace authenticity in new spaces

    It's essential to be true to oneself and let go of self-criticism when stepping into new spaces or speaking in front of audiences. The speaker, who identifies as introverted and prone to self-doubt, shared her experience of getting nervous and anxious before speaking, even after preparing extensively. She acknowledged the importance of being free in the moment and allowing herself to make mistakes, apologize, and learn from them. The speaker emphasized that this freedom is necessary to effectively connect with others and be an authentic channel or vessel for positive impact. She also mentioned that nerves and anxiety can hit at any point, even right before an event or presentation, but with preparation and a shift in mindset, one can regroup and trust in their ability to bless and serve others.

    Focus on helping one person in the audience

    Effective communication requires a shift from focusing on oneself to serving others. The speaker shared how she overcame nerves and forgetfulness by focusing on helping just one person in the audience. She emphasized the importance of intentionality and being present in the moment, even if it means embracing awkward silences or abandoning notes. To avoid performance or ego, she reminds herself that she is human, with fears and anxieties, and strives to stay grounded. By living in the power of the moment and delivering pure, life-changing messages, speakers can provide a valuable investment of time and attention for their audiences.

    Embracing vulnerability and authenticity

    Authenticity and owning every aspect of oneself, even in vulnerable moments, can be a powerful source of inspiration and connection with others. Sarah Jakes Roberts shared a story about how she continued to deliver her message despite her wig coming off during a sermon, and the impact it had on those in the room and online was profound. For those who struggle with feelings of not being enough or worthy, three things from Sarah Jakes Roberts' book "Power Moves" that may help include: embracing imperfections, practicing self-care, and focusing on personal growth. Remember, it's okay to be human and to show up as your authentic self, even in moments that may initially feel embarrassing or uncomfortable.

    Recognizing and facing our fears, shame, and doubts

    Recognizing and facing our fears, shame, and doubts for what they truly are - powerful opponents - is the first step to reclaiming our power and living a more fulfilling life. By identifying these emotions and understanding their hold on us, we can begin to extract their power and use it to move in the direction of transformation, both on the inside and the outside. Instead of allowing ourselves to be defined by our past or our current circumstances, we can embrace our duality and refuse to let fear dictate our future. To do this, we must learn to recognize how these emotions show up in our lives and find ways to use our voices and assert our power in situations where we may have previously felt helpless. By reclaiming our power, we can begin to experience wholeness, peace, confidence, and a renewed sense of purpose.

    Overcoming Fear and Embracing Power

    Recognizing and confronting the fears and anxieties that hold us back is essential for using our voices and exercising our power. The speaker shares her experience of identifying how fear and shame showed up in her life, preventing her from speaking up in a meeting. She encourages practicing using your voice within yourself to build confidence for future moments when you can choose to act from a place of power rather than fear. The speaker also emphasizes the importance of owning what you know and being intentional about sharing your expertise, even when you feel you're still learning. By acknowledging and addressing our fears, we can begin to make the changes we desire and fully embrace our power.

    Stay true to your calling and focus on serving others

    It's essential to stay true to your calling and focus on serving others while navigating the pressures of success. This can be a challenging task, especially when external pressures and definitions of success conflict with your own. To discern between pursuing success and serving, ask yourself what drives your desire to do something and be honest about whether it's rooted in ego or a genuine desire to make a positive impact. Defining your personal definition of success is crucial to maintain obedience to your calling and message, even in a material world where survival and numbers matter.

    Understanding unique definitions of a good partner

    True power and success in relationships come from understanding and prioritizing each other's unique definitions of a good partner, rather than trying to live up to external expectations. Communication, honesty, loyalty, and joy are essential components of a strong and peaceful relationship. Fear of losing control can hinder emotional safety and make it difficult to build a strong foundation for intimacy. To feel safe and secure in a relationship, individuals need to identify and prioritize what makes them feel safe and communicate it effectively to their partner. Ultimately, understanding and prioritizing each other's needs and desires can lead to a more fulfilling and powerful partnership.

    Building a Strong and Lasting Relationship

    Creating a healthy and lasting relationship requires both partners to define their unique vision of love, marriage, and partnership, and commit to protecting it. When individuals feel emotionally unsafe, they may struggle to trust and fully engage in relationships. It's essential to address past fears and learn the skills of emotional safety and regulation. Communication, understanding triggers, and seeking therapy can help build a stronger bond. Couples should also ensure they share a compatible expression of faith or values, as these foundational beliefs can significantly impact their relationship. By approaching relationships with open communication, mutual respect, and a shared vision, individuals can build a strong and lasting partnership.

    Our past experiences shape us

    Our past experiences, both traumatic and joyful, significantly shape who we are and how we interact with the world and others. It's essential to acknowledge and understand these experiences, as they can impact our present and future relationships. Furthermore, identifying what brings us joy can help us navigate the tough times and make a difference in our own corner of the world. Ultimately, we all have the power to make a positive impact, starting with ourselves and our immediate circle. As the speaker said, "What is it that I need to see? And who is it that I need to be to address what I see?"

    Focusing on internal growth for greater impact

    Many people focus on external issues instead of addressing their own internal challenges due to the perceived ease and the fear of vulnerability. This can stem from a desire to help others or a belief that their external actions can bring about change. However, true impact and effectiveness come from a place of personal experience and self-improvement. The speaker shares her experience of being a young mother and how she refused to let that define her, ultimately leading to her transformation. By embracing our past experiences and focusing on personal growth, we can effectively impart knowledge and make a more significant impact on the world.

    Overcoming shame and stepping into power through faith

    Overcoming shame and stepping into power is a gradual process that requires choosing to believe in a new identity rooted in faith. The speaker shares her experience of growing up in a faith community that emphasized purity culture and instilled feelings of shame for not adhering to these strict standards. She tried to perform her way out of shame through accomplishments and relationships but found that nothing was enough. Eventually, she decided to try believing in her worth as a creation of God and started making choices based on this new identity. It took time, but as she saw evidence of positive changes in herself, she began to release the grip of shame and fully own her new identity. It's important to note that faith doesn't always have immediate evidence, but with consistent choices and trust in oneself, it can lead to a more empowering and confident way of living.

    Self-forgiveness is vital for personal growth

    Self-forgiveness is crucial for personal growth and owning one's power. The speaker shares how realizing compassion towards her younger self and understanding the context of her past choices allowed her to forgive herself and move forward. She emphasizes that holding onto shame and judgment for past mistakes can hinder self-awareness, accountability, and the ability to make better choices in the future. The speaker also encourages owning and acknowledging the harm we have caused ourselves and others as part of the journey towards forgiveness and growth. Self-forgiveness is an ongoing process, and it's essential to practice it regularly to live a fulfilling and authentic life.

    Embracing vulnerability for access to power and growth

    Vulnerability and power are interconnected. Being vulnerable allows individuals to access their power and make a positive impact. For those in positions of power, vulnerability comes from taking risks, trying new things, and being open to growth. Fear of being misunderstood, staying relevant, and losing power are common fears among powerful individuals. However, recognizing that power is not permanent and embracing change can lead to continued growth and influence. As a parent, power shifts as children grow, and trusting the journey and embracing new roles can lead to continued impact. Ultimately, being open to vulnerability and recognizing the transient nature of power can lead to a more vulnerable and powerful life.

    Stay true to yourself and build authentic partnerships

    Being present and prioritizing meaningful relationships while being mindful of other people's agendas is crucial for personal growth and success in the next decade. Your future self would advise you to stay true to yourself and make intentional decisions that align with your values, even if it means turning down opportunities that may seem financially beneficial but don't resonate with your purpose. Building authentic partnerships that provide value to all parties involved is key to maximizing those relationships. Ultimately, being intentional and staying true to yourself will lead to personal growth and fulfillment. Sarah Jax Roberts' book "Power Moves" offers valuable insights and practical advice for overcoming challenges and finding clarity on your vision and purpose. Check it out on Amazon or her website for more information on her tour.

    Embrace authenticity and present moment

    According to Sarah, greatness comes from trusting your authenticity and constantly asking what resonates with you in the present moment. She emphasized the importance of loving every version of yourself, cherishing opportunities to connect with others, and avoiding the role of savior by guiding people towards their own solutions. Sarah also shared her hypothetical "three truths" for living a meaningful life: embracing past versions of yourself, valuing relationships, and recognizing that you're not responsible for saving others. By focusing on these truths and trusting your authenticity, Sarah believes we can create, love, and lead from a place of genuine connection and growth.

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