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    Nick Kyrgios ON: How to Deal with Being Misunderstood & Stop Trying to Live Up to People's Expectations

    Being perceived as a negative person can hinder opportunities and success. Embracing self-discovery, facing criticism, and using our platform for good can lead to personal growth and fulfillment.

    enDecember 11, 2023

    About this Episode

    Tired of being misunderstood all the time?

    Are you looking for ways to stop living up to other people's expectations?

    Then this podcast is for you. 

    Today, Jay Shetty welcomes world-ranking professional tennis player Nick Kyrgios. Nick burst onto the pro tennis scene in 2012 after a prolific junior tennis career. Since his start he has captivated fans with a larger than life personality, passion for the game, and unpredictability. Kyrgios has won 7 singles titles and 4 doubles titles in his career, but 2022 marked the first time Kyrgios displayed his dominance making it to his first Grand Slam Final, winning 3 singles titles, and 3 doubles titles. He also reached the Quarter Finals of the 2022 US Open beating then-ranked No. 1 Daniil Medvedev and is one of the few players on Tour who have beaten the Big Three (Novak Djokovic, Roger Federer, Rafael Nadal) at least once. 

    In this conversation, Nick opens up about how his strong personality online has sparked hate and negativity - how misunderstood his persona is and how different he is with friends and family.

    Nick also briefly talks about dark times, dealing with depression and addiction and turning the most difficult phase of his life into a pivotal moment to have the best year of his life when he reached the Wimbledon final. He also talks about looking at life beyond tennis and what awaits him in the future.

    In this episode, you will learn:

    • How to accept your flaws
    • How to overcome fear and anger
    • How to turn your life around
    • How to deal with negativity
    • How to become your best self

    A truly inspiring story begins with a challenge and ends with a triumph, and Nick has just proven to us that success isn't elusive when you dream big and work hard for it. 

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    • 00:00 Intro
    • 00:54 Enjoying Some Time Off
    • 02:00 Nick Used to Hate Playing Tennis
    • 03:35 Misbranded by the Media
    • 06:00 The Effects of Promoting Negative Content
    • 08:25 Dealing with Mental Health in Silence
    • 10:49 Getting Out of the Darkest Moments
    • 15:08 How Hard Work Led to Wimbledon
    • 17:04 People Only See the Anger
    • 19:23 People Will Always Have Something to Say
    • 22:56 Being Okay with Leaving the Game Behind
    • 24:52 Nick Talks About His Injury
    • 25:46 Would You Spend Time with Your Haters?
    • 28:25 Playing the Character of a Villain
    • 29:55 The Best Crowd to Play For
    • 33:32 Who is the Nice Guy Nick?
    • 34:59 Tennis Is A White Privileged Sport!
    • 38:34 How Media Can Negatively Affect Your Mental Health
    • 44:26 How Strong Boundaries Make Relationships Work
    • 49:36 An Old Conversation with Drake
    • 51:50 Happiness is Spending Time with Family
    • 54:44 The Many Breakdowns that People Do Not Know
    • 59:14 What’s Keeping You Busy These Days?
    • 01:00:30 The Best Places to Visit
    • 01:02:00 Regrets of Losing a Loved One
    • 01:06:44 Learning How to Bounce Back Right Away
    • 01:07:58 The Hardest Lesson You Had to Learn
    • 01:12:05 How Stress Can Affect How You React to People
    • 01:16:24 Why Would You Break a Racket?
    • 01:19:14 Routine Consistency is Hard Work
    • 01:21:15 The Struggle of Letting People Down
    • 01:24:13 Nick on Final Five

    Episode Resources:

    Want to be a Jay Shetty Certified Life Coach? Get the Digital Guide and Workbook from Jay Shetty https://jayshettypurpose.com/fb-getting-started-as-a-life-coach-podcast/

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    🔑 Key Takeaways

    • Finding balance between passion and personal fulfillment is crucial for mental and emotional well-being, even for successful athletes like Kyrgios.
    • Nick Kyrgios' genuine personality and efforts to change public perception emphasize the difficulty of overcoming unfair labels and the impact of media scrutiny on individuals and their loved ones.
    • Nick Kyrgios's on-court behavior does not define his true character, and it is important to consider the overall behavior and struggles of athletes rather than judging them based on isolated moments.
    • Nick Kyrgios found motivation in his fans and the future generation, realizing that he had more to give. Now, he lives each day appreciating the opportunity to be where he is.
    • Let go of past worries, be present in the moment, and appreciate every opportunity, as it brings fulfillment and makes every experience worth it.
    • Nick Kyrgios's anger on the tennis court is fueled by his deep care and sense of responsibility towards his loved ones, as well as his desire to inspire others as an underdog.
    • Despite fame and fortune, Kyrgios finds his passion waning due to mental and physical exhaustion, feeling like a performer rather than himself. He plans to retire on his own terms.
    • Kyrgios emphasizes the importance of prioritizing physical well-being and challenging negative assumptions, shedding light on the impact of media portrayal and the need to listen and understand before judging.
    • Embracing communication and collaboration apps, along with creative tools, fosters a dynamic workplace where ideas thrive, challenges are swiftly tackled, and innovative solutions are found effortlessly.
    • Fan support and media perception can significantly impact an athlete's performance and emotional state, as seen in Nick Kyrgios' experiences playing in different parts of the world.
    • Being perceived as a negative person can hinder opportunities and success. Embracing self-discovery, facing criticism, and using our platform for good can lead to personal growth and fulfillment.
    • The relentless challenges and negativity faced by Nick Kyrgios have left him feeling disappointed and isolated in the tennis world, questioning his future in the sport and damaging his mental well-being.
    • Words have the power to hurt, and the overwhelming negativity and scrutiny faced by public figures can have detrimental effects on their mental health. We must support and uplift them instead of contributing to their struggles.
    • Clear boundaries and mutual respect are necessary to maintain a positive relationship in the age of social media. Open communication and alignment in standards can help avoid problems.
    • Even with disagreements on social media, real-life relationships can still thrive. Appreciating hard work and spending time with family brings pride and happiness.
    • Nick Kyrgios finds fulfillment in family gatherings and hopes to inspire others with his unique style of play.
    • Crying is a healthy outlet for emotions, but we should also build resilience by holding back tears when necessary. It's about acknowledging pain while staying strong.
    • Nick Kyrgios believes in using his influence to address important topics, emphasizing the need for open discussion and education. He values communication, helping others, and appreciates the cultural experiences he gains while traveling.
    • Nick Kyrgios acknowledges the importance of prioritizing loved ones and regrets not spending more time with his grandma, emphasizing the value of connection and communication during difficult times.
    • Nick Kyrgios emphasizes the value of bouncing back from losses, analyzing mistakes, and being consistent in order to achieve success in tennis and in life. Individuals must take responsibility for their own growth and development.
    • Acknowledging and recognizing one's own achievements can be a powerful motivator towards achieving even more success, and it is not about seeking approval from others, but about recognizing one's own growth and contributions.
    • Kyrgios regrets his past actions, acknowledging that they were driven by a defensive attitude and a desire to retaliate. He emphasizes the importance of reflection and avoiding explosive situations to overcome misinterpretations and media manipulation.
    • Expressing anger can serve as a release and reset for athletes, improving their performance. It's important to find a balance between managing anger and utilizing techniques like meditation and mindfulness for optimal results.
    • Building and maintaining routines can be challenging, but it's important to prioritize consistency and discipline for personal growth. Being true to oneself and finding happiness in authenticity is vital for success.
    • Pursue goals aligned with passions and values, approach highs and lows with balance, simplify advice, and unlearn old beliefs for personal growth and finding one's true path.
    • Authenticity and being true to oneself is crucial in forming meaningful relationships and finding like-minded individuals with good intentions.
    • Before passing judgment, take the time to understand both yourself and the challenges others face, fostering empathy, compassion, and reducing unnecessary criticism.

    📝 Podcast Summary

    Nick Kyrgios: A Complex Relationship with Tennis

    Nick Kyrgios' relationship with tennis has been complex and ever-evolving. While he has achieved great success in the sport and is known for his electrifying style of play, he also admits to not always loving it. When forced to take time off due to injury, Kyrgios found joy in exploring other aspects of life and spending time with loved ones. This realization made him question his previous dedication to the sport and made him appreciate the opportunities and experiences outside of tennis. This takeaway highlights the importance of finding a balance between passion and personal fulfillment, and the need to prioritize mental and emotional well-being.

    The Power of Perception: Nick Kyrgios' Battle Against Negative Labels

    Nick Kyrgios has been unfairly labeled as the "bad boy" of tennis by the media, which has had a negative impact on how people perceive him. Despite this perception, Kyrgios is actually a generous, caring, and intellectually switched-on person who strives to make others feel comfortable. He has experienced difficulties in shaking off this reputation, with the media backlash and negativity taking a toll on him and his loved ones. Over the years, he has worked hard to prove that he is not the person he is portrayed to be, but he has also come to realize that not everyone will understand who he truly is. It is exhausting and impossible to make everyone see the real him. This situation highlights the power of public perception and the struggle to overcome labels that do not accurately represent a person's true character.

    The Misunderstood Nature of Nick Kyrgios's Behavior

    Nick Kyrgios's on-court behavior and emotional outbursts do not accurately represent his true character and behavior as a person. While he may show anger and frustration during matches, it is only a small fraction of his overall behavior, which is usually respectful and well-behaved. Unfortunately, the media tends to focus on these moments, creating a negative image of Kyrgios. This negative portrayal and the constant stream of negative comments on social media have taken a toll on his mental health and self-esteem. It led him to engage in unhealthy habits, such as alcohol and self-harm. The public should understand that athletes are multi-dimensional individuals with complex emotions and struggles, and it is important not to judge someone solely based on isolated moments.

    Finding Purpose in Fans and Future Generations

    Nick Kyrgios found a new purpose and motivation to keep playing tennis despite going through a dark and difficult period in his life. He realized that he had millions of fans, including a Make-A-Wish kid, who looked up to him and wanted him to succeed. Instead of playing for himself based on his feelings, he started playing for his fans, his family, and the future generation. The inspiration and support from those around him helped him break through his struggles and realize that he had so much more to give. Now, every day is a bonus for him, and he lives each day fully, appreciating the opportunity to be where he is.

    Embrace gratitude and find joy in every moment.

    Living in a mindset of gratitude and embracing every moment as a bonus can bring immense joy and fulfillment. Both Nick Kyrgios and Jay Shetty acknowledge that they are already living in bonus land, appreciating the opportunities they have today and the potential they never thought possible. They encourage us to let go of past worries and insecurities and focus on being present in the moment. Despite the challenges, criticisms, and failures they have faced, they find solace in the fact that they are giving their best and competing with themselves. This mindset allows them to find meaning and clarity in their journeys, making every experience, whether it leads to success or not, all worth it.

    The Drive to Win: Nick Kyrgios's Deep Care and Sense of Responsibility

    Nick Kyrgios's anger on the tennis court stems from his deep care for the people who have invested in him, including his family, support crew, and team. He believes that winning is important because it allows him to share the success with his entire team and prove to his critics that he can achieve greatness. However, even if he were to win Wimbledon or any other major tournament, he understands that it may not silence his detractors. He wishes that people would take the time to understand his journey and the reasons behind his actions before being so critical. Ultimately, his desire to win is fueled by a strong sense of responsibility towards his loved ones and the opportunity to inspire others as an underdog.

    The toll of success: Nick Kyrgios' struggle with the pressures of professional tennis.

    Nick Kyrgios has reached a point in his career where he no longer feels the passion or joy for playing tennis. Despite experiencing success and fame, he admits that the constant pressure and expectations have taken a toll on him mentally and physically. He feels exhausted and tired, having undergone multiple surgeries at a young age. Kyrgios also expresses a sense of disillusionment with the image he has to portray as an athlete, feeling like a circus animal rather than being true to himself. Ultimately, he has made peace with the fact that he only wants to play for a few more years on his own terms before retiring from the sport.

    Nick Kyrgios: Navigating Uncertainty and Prioritizing Well-being in Tennis

    Nick Kyrgios is facing uncertainty and pain with regards to his future in tennis due to potential health issues. Despite the pressure from fans and critics to continue playing, he acknowledges the need to prioritize his physical well-being. Kyrgios understands that the recovery process takes time and that he wants to return to the sport at his previous level of competition, not just play decently. He also expresses a desire to understand his haters better and challenges their negative assumptions about him. Kyrgios reveals the impact of media portrayal on his reputation and the effort he must make to prove his true character to people he meets. This conversation highlights the importance of listening, understanding, and challenging preconceived notions.

    Enhancing Creativity and Collaboration through Innovative Tools

    Staying up to date with colleagues through apps and products can greatly boost creativity in the workplace. By utilizing resources like video conferencing, smart whiteboards, and diverse applications, teams can create an environment where ideas flow freely and innovative solutions are cultivated. These tools provide immediate access to information, allowing teams to swiftly tackle challenges and find solutions without any hassle. Utilizing a variety of creative tools such as Chat, GPT, Coggle, Poplar, and MindMeister can spark fresh ideas, ask interesting questions, and facilitate problem-solving. Additionally, communication apps like Slack and WhatsApp serve as the glue that keeps teams in sync, making teamwork smooth and providing quick solutions when needed.

    The Influence of Fan Support and Media Perception on an Athlete's Performance and Well-being.

    Nick Kyrgios has had different experiences playing in various parts of the world. While he feels at home and appreciated by American fans at the US Open, he has mixed feelings about playing in Australia and the UK. The negative reaction he received from Australian fans after a tough match left a sour taste in his mouth and affected his relationship with playing for his country. Additionally, he feels scrutinized and under a microscope when playing in the UK, where everything he does is analyzed and criticized. On the other hand, the energy and support he receives at the US Open make him feel welcomed and motivated. These experiences highlight the impact that fan support and media perception can have on an athlete's performance and emotional well-being.

    Nick Kyrgios: The Impact of Perception on Career and Well-Being

    Nick Kyrgios believes that if he had been perceived as the nice guy he actually is from the beginning of his career, it would have made a significant impact on his game, career, and overall well-being. He reveals that during the first five years of his career, he struggled to secure deals and sponsorships because of the negative perception people had of him. If people had known his true character, it could have helped him financially and personally. However, Nick acknowledges that his journey of self-discovery and facing criticism has shaped him into the person he is today. He now uses his platform to help others and finds fulfillment in supporting them through difficult times. Ultimately, Nick values the positive impact he can make more than any of his accomplishments in tennis.

    Nick Kyrgios' Struggle With Tennis Industry's Rejection

    Nick Kyrgios has faced immense challenges and negativity in the tennis world, leading to a deep sense of disappointment and pain. Despite his success and accomplishments, he feels that the industry has not fully embraced him and instead treated him as an outcast. This has resulted in a significant chip on his shoulder and a lack of trust in the tennis community. The toll of this treatment has affected his mental and emotional well-being, pushing him into dark spaces and causing him to question his relationship with the sport. Kyrgios expresses doubts and even states that he wouldn't choose tennis again if given the chance. The trauma and stress experienced by him and his family have further damaged his perception of the industry, making it difficult to repair the relationship.

    The Dark Side of Media and Social Media on Individuals in the Spotlight

    The impact of media and social media on individuals in the spotlight can be incredibly damaging. We often don't realize the weight of millions of opinions and criticisms that can affect someone's mental health and overall well-being. This constant negativity and scrutiny can be overwhelming and lead to a dark place for many individuals. It is important to recognize that words have the power to hurt and that fame and social media are manmade constructs that can have detrimental effects on a person's psyche. We must be more conscious of our actions and the potential consequences they can have on others. It is crucial to support and uplift those in the spotlight, rather than contribute to their struggles.

    Setting Boundaries and Respecting Each Other's Social Media Boundaries

    Setting and respecting boundaries is crucial in maintaining a positive and strong relationship, especially in the age of social media. Nick Kyrgios emphasizes the importance of having clear boundaries and mutual respect with his girlfriend, understanding that being in the spotlight can be brutal for relationships. He recognizes the need for diligence in managing social media interactions and ensuring that both partners feel comfortable and respected. Jay Shetty also shares his experience, highlighting the significance of finding shared foundations and understanding each other's priorities on social media. They both agree that problems in relationships often stem from differences in standards on social media, emphasizing the need for open communication and alignment in this aspect.

    The Evolution and Impact of Social Media on Relationships

    Social media has evolved and plays a significant role in relationships. It has changed from being a platform to share pictures to now being a whole business. Conversations about social media are crucial because they can impact relationships. It is important to understand that even though celebrities like Nick Kyrgios and Drake might have disagreements on social media, it doesn't define their entire relationship. They can overcome differences and connect in real life. Another important insight is the value of maintaining a childlike view of achievements and success. Appreciating the journey and reminding oneself of the hard work put into achieving goals is essential. Finally, spending quality time with family and cherishing those moments is a source of pride and happiness for Nick Kyrgios.

    Finding Joy in Small Moments and Embracing Unique Identity

    Nick Kyrgios has found immense joy and fulfillment in simple, family-oriented moments. The stress that he put on his family in the past has now been replaced by precious gatherings filled with laughter. The annual Kyrgios Christmas party, where hundreds of people come together, has become a highlight for him. He values the simplicity of these occasions and eagerly looks forward to spending time with his loved ones. Furthermore, Kyrgios realizes that his unique style of play and unorthodox shots inspire young fans. Just like he admired basketball player Allen Iverson for his individuality, Kyrgios hopes that his own style will leave a lasting impact on the sport, with people around the world attempting to replicate his daring shots. Overall, Kyrgios emphasizes the importance of finding joy in small moments and embracing one's unique identity.

    Finding the Balance Between Vulnerability and Strength

    It's important to find a healthy balance when it comes to crying and being emotionally vulnerable. While crying can be a good outlet and a necessary way to deal with emotions, it doesn't mean that we should always give in to it. There are times when we need to hold back our tears, not for the sake of performance or how others perceive us, but to strengthen our ability to cope with our emotions. It's about acknowledging the pain and sadness, but also staying strong and resilient through those moments. Just like when we get injured, the healing process makes us stronger. So, it's about finding the right balance between vulnerability and strength.

    Nick Kyrgios: Using His Platform to Educate and Connect

    Nick Kyrgios recognizes the importance of using his platform to discuss sensitive topics and educate others. He encourages talking about challenging issues instead of avoiding them or becoming emotional. Despite his success and new creative endeavors, he remains dedicated to training and rehabilitating from injuries. Kyrgios has developed a passion for communication, learning about people, and helping others. He also appreciates the privilege of traveling the world with his girlfriend and watching NBA games. While Kyrgios loves Australia and believes it is the best place in the world, he also enjoys the sports culture in the United States and the food in Asia. Overall, he values simplicity, a good lifestyle, and safety in different cities like Canberra, Sydney, Melbourne, and the Gold Coast.

    Nick Kyrgios' regrets and reflection on prioritizing his tennis career over spending time with his grandma.

    Nick Kyrgios regrets not spending more time with his grandma before she passed away. He acknowledges that his tennis career and all the responsibilities that came with it took away precious moments he should have had with her. He reflects on the fact that at a young age, he was focused on changing his family's life and didn't fully understand the importance of prioritizing those closest to him. While he used to be upset and regretful about it, he has now become more forgiving towards himself and tries to see it as a reminder of the love and time he wanted to share with his grandma. Ultimately, he wishes he had talked to her during his dark times and believes it would have made things easier.

    The Importance of Resilience and Self-Activation in Tennis and Life

    Nick Kyrgios has learned to be a good loser in tennis, which has taught him valuable life lessons. He understands that in tennis, you experience losses every week unless you are consistently winning. This has taught him to pick himself up, analyze what went wrong, and move on quickly. He acknowledges that consistency is crucial and that one good result can change everything. This mindset of bouncing back and being resilient is not only applicable in tennis but also in life. Kyrgios emphasizes the importance of understanding that no one else is going to rescue or discover your potential for you. It is up to individuals to activate their own abilities and become the best version of themselves.

    The Importance of Acknowledging Achievements

    Everyone craves acknowledgement and recognition for their efforts, no matter the scale or field of accomplishment. Jay Shetty and Nick Kyrgios discuss the importance of receiving credit for one's hard work and the motivation it provides. They argue that acknowledging one's achievements is not arrogant or soft; in fact, it can be a driving force towards achieving even more success. They highlight the need for individuals to receive a pat on the back and be made to feel good about their journey, regardless of its challenges. It is not about seeking approval from others, but rather about recognizing one's own growth and unique contributions.

    Kyrgios Reflects on Past Behavior and Focuses on Self-Improvement

    Nick Kyrgios regrets his past behavior on the tennis court and in press conferences. He acknowledges that sometimes he retaliated and acted disrespectfully, but he realizes that this is not the true version of himself. Growing up with experiences of bullying, Kyrgios developed a defensive attitude and felt the need to give back what he had received. However, he understands that making others feel bad is not something to be proud of. He admits that it's difficult when people misinterpret his actions and judge him based on a brief press conference or moment on the court. Kyrgios also highlights the importance of reflection and taking time before responding in order to avoid explosive situations. Ultimately, he recognizes that the media often sensationalizes negative headlines and articles, manipulating the game they want to play.

    The Power of Channeling Anger in Sports

    Losing is not always seen as a failure. Breaking a racket and expressing anger can actually provide a release and help players reset their mindset. It's important to note that the timing and response after such actions are crucial. By channeling the frustration into a physical act, athletes like Novak Djokovic and Serena Williams have shown that it can be a catalyst for improved performance. However, it's essential to maintain discipline and not let anger consume the focus needed to win. While this approach shouldn't be encouraged as a violent act, the key lies in the response and the ability to bounce back with renewed energy and determination. Finding a balance between anger management and sport psychology techniques like meditation, breathing, and mindfulness can be beneficial for athletes in achieving their best performance.

    The Power of Routines and Authenticity

    Building and maintaining routines and disciplines can be incredibly challenging but also immensely powerful. Nick Kyrgios admits that consistency has been his weakness, hindering his ability to prove himself as a champion. He acknowledges the difficulty of sticking to a routine and the importance of discipline and consistency in achieving success. Jay Shetty recognizes the struggle of building and maintaining routines and the ease of falling off track. Kyrgios also opens up about his emotional struggles, feeling like he's not enough and the fear of disappointing others. However, he emphasizes the importance of being true to oneself and finding happiness in being authentic. The key takeaway is that it's essential to find a balance between personal growth and societal expectations, prioritizing authenticity and happiness.

    Balancing success, happiness, and personal growth

    Success and happiness do not always go hand in hand. Even those who achieve everything society expects of them may still feel unfulfilled because they pursued goals that didn't align with their true passions and values. On the other hand, it's important to remember that everyone has their own struggles and that bad moments or failures are not the end of the world. One should strive to navigate through both highs and lows with a balanced mindset, not getting too caught up in achievements or setbacks. And when it comes to advice, simplicity is often key. Breaking things down into manageable steps can lead to the best outcomes, even though the journey may be challenging. Lastly, unlearning old beliefs and perspectives can be crucial for personal growth and finding one's true path.

    The Struggle of Genuine Connections

    The struggle of finding genuine connections is a common experience regardless of fame or success. Nick Kyrgios shares his disappointment in meeting many people who don't have good intentions, leading to the constant questioning of whether someone genuinely wants to be his friend or simply benefits from his position. Jay Shetty relates to this struggle, emphasizing the importance of authenticity and being oneself when forming connections. Breaking the unwritten rule of fitting in and instead embracing individuality is essential for success and meaningful relationships. The key to finding good people and building genuine connections lies in being true to oneself and seeking like-minded individuals with good hearts.

    The Power of Self-Discovery and Understanding Others

    Instead of trying to fit in or stand out, the key is to discover and get to know ourselves. It's not just about being ourselves, but about the continuous process of self-discovery. Jay Shetty and Nick Kyrgios highlight the importance of understanding ourselves before criticizing others. Kyrgios suggests a powerful law where before criticizing someone, one must spend a day experiencing their life and challenges. This law would make people think twice about their judgments and have a deeper understanding of the realities others face. By taking the time to truly understand ourselves and the experiences of others, we can foster empathy, compassion, and eliminate unnecessary criticism.

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    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    How to embrace vulnerability

    How to handle criticism

    How to advocate for yourself 

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    00:00 Intro

    03:08 Built to Have Fun

    04:19 Emotional Hoarder

    07:16 Celibacy

    12:11 Being with the Wrong Person

    15:41 Do You Believe in Past Life?

    18:06 Who Do You Want to Date?

    20:10 Growing Your Own Garden

    22:48 Growing with a Creative Mind

    25:05 Worst Thing About Being Me

    29:11 Dealing with Online Hate

    31:36 She’s Not My Mom Anymore

    37:46 Processing and Dealing with Grief

    43:36 Resenting and Forgiving My Father

    48:46 The Phone Call with My Dad

    55:24 Let’s Understand People’s Stories

    57:59 Self Care is a Process

    01:02:15 My Father Was Sick

    01:05:07 Make Home in Your Childhood Community

    01:10:29 The Love to Entertain People

    01:18:07 What Would Little T be Proud Of?

    01:20:24 Childhood Dreams

    01:25:09 TIffany on Final Five

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Why You Are Restricting Your Desires in Your Relationship & How to Stop Blocking Yourself from the Happiness You Deserve with Lisa Bilyeu

    Why You Are Restricting Your Desires in Your Relationship & How to Stop Blocking Yourself from the Happiness You Deserve with Lisa Bilyeu

    How do you identify when you're restricting your desires in a relationship?

    How can couples work together to align their desires and ensure mutual fulfillment?

    Today, Jay welcomes back his good friend Lisa Bilyeu. Lisa is a co-founder of the billion-dollar brand Quest Nutrition and the president of Impact Theory, a digital media company aimed at empowering content. With a strong focus on developing content that speaks to personal growth and empowerment, especially for women, Lisa has been a pivotal figure in shifting paradigms within her industry. Her show, "Women of Impact," addresses issues facing modern women, combining personal anecdotes with actionable advice.

    The core theme of this conversation is outlining a roadmap for individuals seeking to overcome insecurities and cultivate a resilient, action-oriented confidence. Jay and Lisa discuss the common misconceptions around confidence, emphasizing that it is not a prerequisite for action but a result of engaging with the world despite fears and doubts.

    Lisa shares how her initial need for external validation was a significant barrier to personal growth, sharing transformative moments that reshaped her understanding of confidence and self-worth. She stresses the importance of embracing imperfection and vulnerability as catalysts for genuine self-improvement and empowerment.

    In this interview, you'll learn:

    How to start building confidence

    How to validate yourself

    How to prioritize personal growth

    How to handle fear of judgment

    How to transform relationships

    Together, let's continue to  question the preconceived notions about success and happiness and to take bold steps towards a life aligned with our deepest values and aspirations.

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    00:00 Intro

    03:32 How Do You Define Confidence?

    06:54 Believe You’re Capable

    09:54 Admitting That You’re Unhappy

    16:13 The Frame of Reference

    19:36 Everything Is A Risk

    27:42 Non-Negotiables in Relationships

    34:41 Conversations That Don’t Break Relationships

    41:30 Who Leads, Who Follows

    49:26 Conflicting Value System

    54:57 Don’t Assume, Find a Compromise

    59:21 Growth Mindset With Your Partner

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Matthew Hussey: 5 Reasons Why There is No Such Thing As The Right Person At The Wrong Time & How to Stop Missing Your Ex

    Matthew Hussey: 5 Reasons Why There is No Such Thing As The Right Person At The Wrong Time & How to Stop Missing Your Ex

    Does timing really matter in whether a relationship works?

    What are healthy ways to deal with a breakup?

    Today, let’s welcome back dating coach Matthew Hussey. Matthew is also a YouTube personality and writer known for offering advice on dating, love, and relationships to both men and women through his online content, seminars, and his book "Get The Guy." His approach typically combines practical advice, motivational coaching, and a bit of psychology to help individuals understand what they want from a relationship and how to get it.

    Matthew shares his insights on the complexities of love, self-discovery, and the importance of honest communication. He emphasizes on the significance of creating a peaceful relationship, distinguishing it from a boring one, and the value of embracing vulnerabilities to foster deeper connections. Matthew's reflections on his own experiences, coupled with his expertise, provide a comprehensive guide on navigating the challenges of modern dating, building meaningful relationships, and cultivating self-awareness. 

    In this interview, you'll learn:

    How to cultivate peaceful relationships without boredom

    How to deepen connections through vulnerability

    How to navigate modern dating with confidence

    How to enhance relationships with effective communication

    How to enrich love life through self-awareness

    Whether you're single, dating, or in a relationship, this episode offers valuable lessons on love, resilience, and the transformative power of embracing your true self.

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    00:00 Intro

    04:20 Where Does Your Idea of Love Come From?

    10:34 What Differentiates a Peaceful to a Boring Relationship?

    19:35 What Are Your Must-Haves in a Relationship?

    31:47 Tactics Are Different From Relationship Standards

    39:59 Egoic Standards Versus Setting Standards for Happiness

    51:20 Practice Having Real and Difficult Conversations

    01:04:48 The Importance of Communicating Your Thoughts and Feelings

    01:08:25 Is Your Partner the Right One for You?

    01:15:05 Dealing with the Different Phases of Heartbreak

    01:26:31 What’s Next for Matthew?    

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    7 Ways to Reduce the Time You Spend Overthinking & Make Better Decisions Quicker

    7 Ways to Reduce the Time You Spend Overthinking & Make Better Decisions Quicker

    How do you know when you're overthinking too much?

    How can you break the cycle of overthinking?

    Today, Jay will talk about the complexity of overthinking and how we can turn it around and look at things differently. Jay presents seven practical strategies to help listeners combat the grip of overthinking. These range from the psychological—to limit how many people's opinions we seek, preventing the confusion and indecision that too many perspectives can cause—to the physical, recommending activities that disengage the analytical brain and encourage mental reset, like exercise or simply moving around.

    In this episode, you'll learn:

    How to use over thinking for problem-solving

    How to manage alarmed responses

    How to use physical movement for mental clarity

    How to focus on positives and small wins

    Don't let overthinking hold you back! Start implementing these strategies today and take control of your mental space.

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    00:00 Intro

    00:52 Has Overthinking Slowed You Down?

    07:53 The Science Behind Overthinking

    10:50 #1: Overthinking as a Problem-Solving Approach

    14:24 #2: Don’t Ask Too Many People For Their Opinion

    18:19 #3: Avoid Responding While You’re Feeling Alarmed

    19:17 #4: Move Your Body When Your Mind Is Stuck

    20:32 #5: Focus on the Good Thing and Small Wins

    22:05 #6: Spontaneous Drawings Relieve Psychological Stress

    24:23 #7: Go Back to Analog

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Orlando Bloom: 3 Reasons Why You Need to Allow Yourself to Make Mistakes & Shift Your Perspective on Fear

    Orlando Bloom: 3 Reasons Why You Need to Allow Yourself to Make Mistakes & Shift Your Perspective on Fear

    Do you stop yourself from making mistakes? 

    Do you want to shift your perspective on fear? 

    Today, let’s welcome the one and only Orlando Bloom. Orlando gained widespread fame for his roles in some of the most popular films including The Lord of the Rings trilogy and Pirates of the Caribbean series. He will be seen starring in Peacock's limited adventure docuseries, To The Edge, which he also produced. Off-screen, Orlando is known for his humanitarian efforts, including his work as a UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador.

    Orlando shares insights from his life as an actor, adventurer, and someone deeply involved in spirituality. He talks about how meditation and mindfulness help him stay balanced despite the hectic nature of being a celebrity, his views on masculinity, the importance of embracing both masculine and feminine qualities, and striving for balance and introspection in life. We also get to hear stories about facing and overcoming fears, embracing vulnerability, and the lessons he's learned from these challenges. This episode isn't just about getting to know a renowned actor but diving into the personal journey of a man who is constantly looking for deeper meaning and connections in life.

    In this interview, you’ll learn:
    How to overcome fear
    How to maintain balance in a hectic life
    How to incorporate mindfulness into everyday activities
    How to explore and embrace different aspects of your personality
    How to use life's challenges as growth opportunities

    Tune in now for a discussion full of insights on overcoming fears, embracing spirituality, and pursuing personal growth.  

    With Love and Gratitude,
    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:
    02:28 Working in an Unscripted Space
    06:09 What’s Your Earliest Childhood Fear?
    08:35 Practicing Buddhism
    13:49 The Lotus Sutra
    20:16 The 8 Wins
    26:28 Trusting Your Life and Becoming Capable
    36:33 Being Present While on the Edge
    44:48 Any Moment Could Be Your Last
    45:43 The Deepest Mirror You’ll Ever Have
    48:58 What Did You Learn from Your Past Relationships?
    51:22 Introducing Buddhism Practice to My Kids
    55:33 Whatever You’re Saying, You Become
    01:02:22 Loving the Parenting Journey
    01:07:16 The Impacts of Your Decisions
    01:09:13 Opportunities Through Obstacles
    01:17:40 Buddhism Is My Anchor
    01:18:59 The Fear You’re Currently Overcoming
    01:26:04 Orlando Bloom on Final Five

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    4 Ways to Know if It Is Time To End Your Relationship (When the Signs Are Not Clear and Things are Not Bad)

    4 Ways to Know if It Is Time To End Your Relationship (When the Signs Are Not Clear and Things are Not Bad)

    Do you find yourself often thinking about breaking up?

    Do you and your partner have unresolved conflicts that keep resurfacing?

    In this episode, Jay tackles the tough emotions and uncertainty many face when considering a breakup. He talks about why people stay in or leave relationships, touching on key factors like emotional closeness, personal investment, and the impact of family responsibilities. Jay also discusses how to ensure emotional security and the risks of staying for financial reasons or out of obligation. 

    In this episode you’ll learn:

    How to recognize emotional investment

    How to assess emotional security

    How to consider financial implications

    How to navigate emotional intimacy

    This honest conversation provides you with the insights to evaluate your relationship more clearly, helping you decide whether to work on it or move on, based on a deeper understanding of your feelings and the relationship's dynamics.

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    00:00 Intro

    01:10 When to End Your Relationship

    04:48 10 Reason Why People Stay in a Relationship

    12:44 Top 10 Reasons to Leave Your Relationship

    18:14 The Three Cancers of the Mind

    24:44 Difference in Scorecard Perspective

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Benny Blanco: 3 Ways to Stop Caring About Failure & Get Out of Your Own Way

    Benny Blanco: 3 Ways to Stop Caring About Failure & Get Out of Your Own Way

    How can you overcome the fear of failure?

    What can you do daily to care less about failing?

    Today, Jay sits down with Benny Blanco for an inspiring conversation about pursuing passions, mentorship, failure, and continuous motivation. Benny has made a huge mark on the music industry contributing to hundreds of millions of album sales worldwide. Benny has worked with A-List artists like Ed Sheeran, Justin Bieber, and Katy Perry. As a solo artist, his albums "Friends Keep Secrets" and its sequel have amassed over 11 billion streams, featuring multiple platinum hits. Beyond music, Benny has ventured into television and even released a cookbook, "Open Wide," showcasing his diverse talents and interests

    Benny shares insight on how to not let failure stop you and getting over imposter syndrome. We also go dive into Benny’s life outside of music, exploring his passion for cooking through his cookbook "Open Wide." Plus, Benny talks about his relationships, how he keeps his creativity flowing, and the small joys that make his life special.

    In this interview, you’ll learn:

    How to pursue your passion with limited resources

    How to not let failure get in your way of achieving your goals

    How to embrace the unexpected in creative work

    How to transition your passion into different fields

    How to find joy and creativity in everyday moments

    Don't miss this intimate look at Benny Blanco's life and maybe learn a thing or two about making your own multi-track masterpiece or the perfect dish to serve at dinner!

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    00:00 Intro

    03:43 What’s the First Creative Thing You Put Together?

    06:15 I Never Cared About Failure

    10:33 Developing Amnesia to Failure

    14:22 How Did You Meet Your Mentor?

    18:10 “The Boy I Mentored” 

    23:42 How Do You Show Up After a Rejection?

    26:51 Love Can Be Felt Through Music

    29:56 What Do You Do When You Wake Up?   

    32:02 Why Do You Struggle with Meditation?

    33:28 Why I Went to Therapy

    38:25 The Pressure of Perfectionism

    44:49 Do You Love to Cook?

    47:20 Do You Eat Healthy?

    48:47 Finding Comfort in Food

    54:42 What’s Your Sleep Pattern?

    56:40 Friendships Built Over the Years

    59:19 Multigenerational Friendships

    01:03:44 Better Relationship After Divorce

    01:05:52 Benny on Final Five   

    01:15:57 What’s Your Vice?

    01:17:53 Do You Take Supplements?

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Why Your Self Worth is Keeping You Stuck & How to Stop Sabotaging Your Personal Growth With Jamie Kern Lima

    Why Your Self Worth is Keeping You Stuck & How to Stop Sabotaging Your Personal Growth With Jamie Kern Lima

    How does low self-worth stop you from moving forward?

    How can you stop self-sabotage and grow personally?

    Today, let’s welcome Jamie Kern Lima. Jamie is a New York Times bestselling author, founder of IT Cosmetics, a company she started in her living room and sold to L'Oreal in a billion-dollar deal, becoming the first female CEO of a brand in its 100+ year history. She's also an active philanthropist who has funded leadership training in more than 100 prisons and shelters across the US, and has donated over $40 million in product and funds to help women face the effects of cancer with confidence. 

    Jamie and Jay ponder on the meaning of self-worth, distinguishing it from mere confidence and challenging the misguided belief that our value is tied to our physical appearance. We get to hear the detrimental effects of self-doubt and present empowering strategies to transform your relationship with rejection, offering a new perspective that fosters resilience and self-compassion. 

    And then the conversation dives deep into personal beliefs, urging us to identify and discard unhelpful misconceptions, while giving emphasis on why authenticity is crucial and its role in conjunction with other factors in achieving success. 

    In this interview, you'll learn:

    How to build self-worth

    How to distinguish confidence from self-worth

    How to handle rejection

    How to overcome self-doubt

    How to remain authentic

    Together, let's learn how to distinguish your worth from external validation, turn rejection into a stepping stone, and live authentically.

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    00:00 Intro

    03:17 Do You Feel Worthy Today?

    10:04 Confusing Confidence with Self Worth

    17:37 Your Weight Impacts Your Worth is a Lie 

    24:03 What Has Self Doubt Cost You?

    31:25 How to Change Your Relationship with Rejection

    37:02 The 4-Part R to Reframe Rejection

    44:00 You Need This Today

    48:13 Which Lie Are You Trying to Unlearn? 

    56:32 Authenticity Alone Doesn’t Guarantee Success

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.