Logo

    176. A conversation with my Mum

    It's okay to take time to figure out what you want and continue learning despite challenges or setbacks. Imposter syndrome is common, but focusing on goals and being open to new experiences can help overcome it.

    enMarch 08, 2024

    About this Episode

    This International Women's Day as part of iHeart's Women Take the Mic Initiative, I'm bringing on my Mum for a vulnerable chat about our relationship as mother and daughter, what she's learned from being a mother, what she would do differently, life lessons and her success in a male dominated field. We discuss everything from motherhood, child-parent dynamics, feminism and career advice. It's a beautiful conversation, one that I'll hold dearly for a long time and we hope you enjoy, listen now! 

    Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg

    Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast 

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    🔑 Key Takeaways

    • Use Pronamel toothpaste and mouthwash for enamel repair, leverage technology like Canva for productivity, learn from women's experiences, and celebrate International Women's Day.
    • Our past experiences continue to influence us and embracing the uniqueness of others is essential for growth.
    • Parents are needed throughout their children's lives for support, not just during their early years
    • Motherhood brings joy, fear, and uncertainty as children grow and learn independence. Embrace vulnerability and allow children to experience life and learn from mistakes.
    • Allowing children to face challenges and make decisions builds independence and problem-solving skills, even if it means some discomfort or hardship.
    • Upbringing by gender-defying parents instilled a sense of freedom and challenged traditional gender roles, shaping perspectives on family dynamics.
    • Parents should prioritize their family's needs and make the best decisions, despite societal expectations or feelings of guilt and frustration.
    • Reflecting on childhood memories can reveal new insights into relationships and the importance of being a feminist mother.
    • Communication and understanding are crucial for fostering a strong and respectful relationship between parents and children, despite differences in comfort levels and experiences.
    • Embrace past experiences, practice self-care, and stay resilient for unexpected opportunities and growth.
    • It's okay to take time to figure out what you want and continue learning despite challenges or setbacks. Imposter syndrome is common, but focusing on goals and being open to new experiences can help overcome it.
    • Focus on strengths, embrace unique qualities, and persevere despite labels or past failures.
    • Reflect on personal values, strive for authenticity, and make a positive impact in your career
    • Protect teeth with Pronamel toothpaste and mouthwash, remove hair effectively with Conair Girl Bomb, prioritize self-care for a better life

    📝 Podcast Summary

    Protecting Oral Health with Self-care and Technology

    Self-care is essential, especially when it comes to our oral health. Pronamel intensive enamel repair toothpaste and mouthwash can help protect and repair acid-weakened enamel. Meanwhile, technology like Canva presentations can make our lives easier and more productive. Additionally, we can learn valuable wisdom from the women in our lives, including our mothers, who have experiences and insights to share about motherhood, feminism, and success in male-dominated industries. International Women's Day is a great reminder to celebrate and uplift women, and to reflect on the impact of our relationships and experiences on our personal growth.

    Experiences Shape Us

    Our experiences in life, whether it's growing up as a child, becoming a parent, or running a business, shape us in profound ways. During the conversation, the speaker shared vivid memories of her experiences with her children, including the moment each was born and their unique personalities. She noted that while she initially thought she could mold her children into who she wanted them to be, she soon realized that they each came with their own distinct personalities. The speaker also reflected on her own childhood and how her experiences then influenced her as a parent. The conversation highlighted the idea that our past experiences continue to shape us, and that embracing the uniqueness of others is an important part of growth. Additionally, the speaker shared that despite facing challenges in having children, she always wanted them and was grateful for the opportunity to be a parent.

    Parenting comes with unexpected challenges and joys at every stage of a child's life

    Being a parent comes with unexpected challenges and joys at every stage of a child's life. While there may be a common belief that parents are needed the most when children are young, the need for parental support continues as children grow older. The speaker shares her personal experience of feeling ready to start a family when she met her husband, but also acknowledges the uncertainties and ups and downs that come with pregnancy and raising children. She also reflects on how her role as a parent evolved as her children grew older, and how she found herself needing her parents more during her teenage years and university days than she had anticipated. Ultimately, the speaker emphasizes the importance of being present for children throughout their lives, recognizing that the need for parental support is a constant, not a one-time event.

    The complex emotions of motherhood

    Being a mother brings a unique blend of emotions, from excitement and joy to fear and uncertainty. The desire to give children the independence to explore the world while also protecting them from harm creates a complex balance. The speaker shares that the vulnerability and uncertainty of watching children grow up and face challenges can be challenging, leading to moments of anxiety and fear. This emotional exposure is a part of the experience of motherhood, making it both rewarding and challenging. The speaker also emphasizes the importance of raising children as independent individuals, allowing them to experience life and learn from their mistakes, even if it means feeling a sense of vulnerability and fear.

    Encouraging self-reliance in children

    Allowing children to face challenges and make their own decisions, even if it means some discomfort or hardship, can lead to valuable independence and problem-solving skills. The speaker shared personal experiences of growing up with parents who encouraged self-reliance, and while it may have felt tough at times, she is now grateful for this upbringing. Additionally, the speaker shared that she had always hoped for a son and a daughter, but her pregnancies were filled with unexpected surprises, resulting in three daughters. Despite not knowing the gender ahead of time, she felt blessed to have healthy children and raised them with a strong sense of independence, effectively treating them as if they were sons.

    Unconventional childhood with gender-defying parents

    The speaker's upbringing, with a stay-at-home dad who encouraged risk-taking and defied gender norms, significantly influenced her sense of self and freedom as a child. She recalls a lack of traditional gender roles in her household and remembers her father's experiences with discrimination for being a stay-at-home dad. The speaker also mentions her own encounter with discrimination when people assumed she was the mother instead of the father at her daughter's birthday party. Overall, their unconventional upbringing played a crucial role in shaping their perspectives on gender and family dynamics.

    Navigating societal expectations as a parent

    Raising children involves making difficult decisions and dealing with societal expectations, which can lead to feelings of guilt and frustration. The speaker shares her experience as a stay-at-home mom in the early 2000s, where societal norms made her feel like she was failing as a mother by not being present at every school event. Meanwhile, working dads received praise for making time for their kids. However, the speaker emphasizes that these opinions ultimately don't matter and that parents should make the best decisions for their family, even if they're not perfect. The speaker also acknowledges that there are mistakes made along the way but that hindsight can provide perspective and growth. Ultimately, the most important thing is to prioritize the needs of the family and navigate societal expectations with grace and confidence.

    Childhood Memories and Unexpected Revelations

    Childhood memories can bring unexpected revelations about our relationships with loved ones. The speaker shared a heartwarming story about singing bedtime songs with her sister, Ellie, and how they each remembered the interactions differently. This conversation also touched upon the topic of being a feminist mother, with the speaker reflecting on her role as an advocate for her daughters and women in general. She acknowledged that she could have done more in this area and expressed appreciation for the importance of unlearning white feminism and being more vocal and demonstrative in her support. The conversation concluded with the speaker acknowledging the unique closeness and intimacy shared with her younger sister during their childhood.

    Navigating respectful conversations with parents as children grow older

    As children grow older, the ability to have respectful and meaningful conversations with parents is a special experience. Respect is a valuable feeling that not everyone encounters frequently in their lives. It's enjoyable to witness someone's growth and development while maintaining a deep respect for them. However, navigating the transition from a child to an adult can bring challenges, such as figuring out what information to share and when. For instance, some individuals may have been more private during their youth due to unique family dynamics or personal circumstances. Ultimately, communication and understanding are key to fostering a strong and respectful relationship between parents and children. It's important to remember that everyone's experiences and comfort levels are different, and finding the right balance is essential for maintaining a healthy and loving bond.

    Unexpected opportunities from past experiences

    Sometimes our past experiences, no matter how embarrassing they may seem, can lead us to unexpected places and opportunities. The speaker shared an amusing story about accidentally locking a man in her house for eight hours, an incident that happened during her unconventional journey to success. This incident, although unintended, did not hinder her progress but rather added to her unique experiences. Furthermore, the conversation touched upon the importance of self-care, particularly oral hygiene and hair health. The speaker emphasized the significance of protecting our teeth with Pronamel toothpaste and mouthwash, and the importance of addressing hair thinning with Neutrophil's whole body approach. Lastly, the speaker highlighted the importance of resilience and not letting setbacks define our future. She shared how getting kicked out of university did not deter her from pursuing a career in economics and becoming a successful CEO. Instead, she saw it as an opportunity to pave her own path. In essence, the conversation underscored the importance of embracing our past experiences, taking care of ourselves, and staying resilient in the face of challenges.

    Personal growth through setbacks

    Life doesn't follow a straight line and it's okay to take time to figure out what you want to do. The speaker shared their personal experience of struggling in university, failing two years, and eventually finding enjoyment in their studies after taking a year off. They emphasized the importance of continuing to learn and grow, even when faced with challenges or setbacks. The speaker also touched on the topic of imposter syndrome and how it has been a constant presence in their career, despite their achievements. They encouraged the audience to focus on their goals while also being open to new experiences and opportunities. The speaker's story highlights the importance of resilience, adaptability, and the value of taking time to discover one's passions.

    Overcoming past failures and achieving success

    Personal growth and determination can lead to overcoming past failures and achieving success. Melinda shared her experience of being questioned about her academic results during a job interview and how she later recognized the potential in others with similar pasts. She emphasized the importance of giving everyone a chance to share their story and explaining how her own experience of being dismissed due to her name led her to assert her identity. As she progressed in her career, she learned the value of hard work, resilience, and self-advocacy. Her advice to those starting their careers is to focus on their strengths, embrace their unique qualities, and not let labels define them. Overall, Melinda's story highlights the importance of perseverance, self-awareness, and confidence in achieving personal and professional growth.

    Be true to your values and authentic self in work

    Setting the tone and values in an organization, being true to who you are, and finding ways to bring your authentic self into your work are key aspects of leading effectively and finding satisfaction in your career. This advice comes from a CEO who reflects on her experiences of underestimating the importance of setting the tone and feeling pressured to conform early in her career. She encourages listeners to think about their values and who they want to be through their work, rather than being confined by specific roles or points in their careers. By being true to themselves, individuals can make a positive impact and gain confidence in their abilities.

    Investing in health and grooming during our 20s is crucial

    Taking care of our health and appearance, especially during our 20s, is crucial. When it comes to dental health, neglecting our teeth can lead to irreversible damage. That's why using Pronamel toothpaste and mouthwash is recommended. Pronamel penetrates deep into the enamel surface and locks in vital minerals to repair acid-weakened enamel. It's the number one dentist-recommended brand for acid erosion. On the other hand, for women looking for effective hair removal tools, Conair Girl Bomb offers smooth results and a sense of control. With professional-grade blades and a unique grip, these tools deliver precision and power previously only available in men's grooming products. In essence, investing in our health and grooming routines can make a significant difference in our lives. Whether it's protecting our teeth with Pronamel or achieving smooth, sleek results with Conair Girl Bomb, taking care of ourselves should always be a priority.

    Recent Episodes from The Psychology of your 20s

    195. The psychology of codependency

    195. The psychology of codependency

    How can you tell if you're codependent or just really close to someone? If you are enmeshed or just reliant on their support? Feeling happy and stable in a loving relationship, or losing your independence? There are a lot of misconceptions and misunderstandings when it come to codependent relationships, especially in our 20s and in today's episode we break down all you need to know and more, including: 

    • The roots of codependency in childhood and attachment theory
    • Signs of codependency 
    • Codependency v. dependency 
    • How to heal your need for intensity and trauma bonding 
    • Healing and restoring a codependent bond 

    Listen now! Today's episode is a rerun of Episode 69 whilst Jemma is recovering from a sudden illness. New episodes will be back on Friday, happy listening. 

     

    Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg

    Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast

     

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    194. Are our attention spans getting shorter?

    194. Are our attention spans getting shorter?

    So many of us are struggling to stay focused and concentrate in an environment of constant distraction and temptation and it's causing a lot of us to feel unproductive and undisciplined. In today's episode we break down why our attention spans seem to be rapidly declining, we discuss: 

    • The Gold Fish myth
    • The average attention span from 2004-2017 
    • The impact of short form content
    • The impact of COVID lockdowns
    • Overstimulation and rising ADHD diagnoses 
    • Attentional cycles and our circadian rhythm 
    • Tips for regaining your focus + social media rules 

    Listen now to reclaim your focus and concentration and reverse your declining attention span. 

    Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg

    Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast 

     

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    193. The truth about avoidant attachment ft. Thais Gibson

    193. The truth about avoidant attachment ft. Thais Gibson

    Attachment theory is often misunderstood but when we have the correct knowledge and information it can transform how we relate to others. In today's episode we break down one of these styles, the avoidant attachment, along with it's two components: avoidant dismissive and avoidant fearful. We discuss how this style develops, its expression, the difference in prevalence and behaviours between men and women and how we can move forward and heal an avoidant pattern. 

    We are joined in today's episode by Thais Gibson, the founder of The Personal Development School and expert in attachment theory. Unlock your free trial using this link: www.personaldevelopmentschool.com/freetrial 

    Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg 

    Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast 

    Follow Thais and The Personal Development School on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/?hl=en 

     

     

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    192. Feeling behind in your 20s

    192. Feeling behind in your 20s

    We have a lot of opportunities to feel behind in our 20s, especially when it comes to our careers, our finances and our relationships. In todays episode we break down why so many of us (roughly 80% of 20 something year olds) feeling like we're falling short of expectations, as well as how we can manage these feelings and enjoy our path through life without comparing it to someone others. We discuss:

    • The competitiveness of this generation
    • The wunderkind phenomena 
    • Career anxiety and starting over 
    • Relationship and dating inexperience 
    • The pandemic skip 
    • How to feel more sure of your own path and progress 

    AND, we hear from you, the listeners, about your experiences. Listen now! 

    Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg

    Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast

     

     

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    191. My favourite psychology studies of ALL TIME

    191. My favourite psychology studies of ALL TIME

    We have found some pretty amazing ways to observe human behaviour and from it, discovered some especially interesting things about how we operate, who we are at our core, our irrational beliefs and so much more. In today's episode, we break down five of my favourite psychology studies of all time from jam, to mental escapism and binge watching TV, how many friends we actually need, the healing power of nature and the origins of imposter syndrome. Listen now! 

    Study One: The Stanford Jam Experiment

    https://faculty.washington.edu/jdb/345/345%20Articles/Iyengar%20%26%20Lepper%20(2000).pdf

    Study Two: In your 20s it's quantity, in your 30s its quality 

    https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2015-10764-001 

    Study Three: Loneliness, Escapism, and Identification With Media Characters 

    https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.785970/full 

    Study Four: The Imposter Phenomenon in High Achieving Women

    https://www.paulineroseclance.com/pdf/ip_high_achieving_women.pdf 

    Study Five: Effects of Coastal Environment on Well-being 

    https://www.walshmedicalmedia.com/open-access/effects-of-the-coastal-environment-on-wellbeing-jczm-1000421.pdf 

     

    Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg

    Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast 

    Business enquiries: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com

     

     

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    190. Fall in love with your own company!

    190. Fall in love with your own company!

    Finding the joy in your own company is one of the most healing, rewarding and fulfilling things we can do. It's also really difficult in an age of FOMO, constant distraction, stimulation and fear of boredom or loneliness. In today's episode we break down exactly why you need to fall back in love with your alone time, the amazing benefits and HOW to do it. Listen now! 

    Follow us on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast 

    Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    189. 5 ways to stop comparing yourself to others

    189. 5 ways to stop comparing yourself to others

    Social comparison is the thief of joy - it will make us question everything that we have, doubt our own abilities, steal our sense of gratitude and peace. It also sometimes feels impossible to escape, especially in our 20s when we look to others for confirmation that we are doing something right. In today's episode we break down the 5 rules you need to stop comparing yourself to others and embrace the benefits of healthy social comparison, this includes: 

    1. Don't unfollow, don't suppress, recognise and expand
    2. Keep your judgements realistic 
    3. Do things for YOU first
    4. Water your own grass 
    5. Comparison as a motivator 

    Listen now to learn how you can control your urge to compare yourself to others! 

    Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg 

    Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast

     

     

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    188. Why are we so indecisive?

    188. Why are we so indecisive?

    Our inability to make decisions is wasting our time, keeping us acting from a place of fear and stuck in a life we don't want! It's also not entirely our fault and often stems from unconscious mechanisms, neuroticism and fears that we haven't recognised. In today's episode we break down: 

    • Why you struggle to make decisions
    • The consequences of our chronic indecisiveness 
    • Perfection and indecision 
    • Choice overload 
    • A fear of failure 
    • How to overcome your indecisiveness using the 80/20 rule
    • The 'trusted advisor' method 

    Listen now! 

    Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg 

    Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast

     

     

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    187. Falling for a friend and the friendzone

    187.  Falling for a friend and the friendzone

    About 2/3rds of couples start off as friends according to recent research. But developing feelings for a friend isn't always a happily ever after situation. In today's episode we break down why it is that we fall in love with our friends, the principles of attraction such as the similarity liking effect and mere exposure effect, whether to say anything or keep it to yourself, managing the pain of rejection or social loss and your best tips for protecting the friendship and your own heart. Listen now! 

    Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg 

    Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast 

     

     

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    186. The psychology of sleep

    186. The psychology of sleep

    Sleep is one of our most vital functions but how many of us actually know that much about it, the links to our physical functioning, mental health, relationships and overall wellbeing. What about some of the strange experiments they've conducted to investigate dreams or how long we can go without sleep? In today's episode we take a deep dive into the psychology of sleep, including: 

    • Why we need sleep?
    • What actually is REM sleep?
    • The Russian Sleep Experiment 
    • Sleep debt 
    • Sleep as a form of self sabotage
    • Revenge bedtime procrastination 
    • The impact of blue light and screens in the bedroom 
    • How to improve your sleep hygiene and more 

    Listen now for when you want to maximise your shut eye! 

    Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg 

    Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast

    For business enquiries: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com

     

     

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.