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    192. Feeling behind in your 20s

    Embrace unique products from Black founders, manage finances with Intuit, protect essentials with Pronamel, and practice cognitive behavioral therapy for a positive mindset.

    enMay 03, 2024

    About this Episode

    We have a lot of opportunities to feel behind in our 20s, especially when it comes to our careers, our finances and our relationships. In todays episode we break down why so many of us (roughly 80% of 20 something year olds) feeling like we're falling short of expectations, as well as how we can manage these feelings and enjoy our path through life without comparing it to someone others. We discuss:

    • The competitiveness of this generation
    • The wunderkind phenomena 
    • Career anxiety and starting over 
    • Relationship and dating inexperience 
    • The pandemic skip 
    • How to feel more sure of your own path and progress 

    AND, we hear from you, the listeners, about your experiences. Listen now! 

    Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg

    Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast

     

     

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    🔑 Key Takeaways

    • Support black-led businesses, manage finances effectively, and prioritize self-care to overcome feelings of being behind in your twenties.
    • Focus on enjoying the journey and finding fulfillment in experiences, rather than just reaching milestones
    • Instead of comparing ourselves to others, focus on our own progress and set our own pace for a more content and secure life
    • It's normal to feel fear and shame during major life transitions, but focusing on learning and taking steps towards a future aligned with values and goals can help.
    • While it's natural to compare ourselves financially and feel behind, focusing on experiences, relationships, and personal growth can contribute to our identity and worth.
    • Recognize the importance of money for opportunities and experiences, create a solid financial plan, and prioritize supporting black-led brands to live our best lives.
    • Focus on self-growth and self-love, society's pressure to find a partner can add stress, everyone's timeline for love is different
    • Many women in their twenties feel societal pressure to find a partner and have children, leading to stress and insecurity. Everyone's timeline is different, focus on personal growth and self-love.
    • Despite societal pressures and unexpected life events, remember everyone's journey is unique and it's okay to take time to process and adapt to new realities.
    • Acknowledge unique journeys, focus on present, and find joy in experiences despite pandemic challenges
    • Embrace unique products from Black founders, manage finances with Intuit, protect essentials with Pronamel, and practice cognitive behavioral therapy for a positive mindset.
    • Embrace the experimentation and uncertainty of your twenties, valuing experiences like freedom and excitement over stability and financial security.
    • Success doesn't always follow a traditional path. Detours and setbacks can lead to valuable experiences and contribute to our growth and future success.
    • Trust in the journey, make the most of experiences, and remember it's okay to not have it all figured out yet.

    📝 Podcast Summary

    Navigating Your Twenties: Embrace Uniqueness and Progress

    Feeling behind in your twenties is a common experience, but it's important to remember that everyone's journey is unique. During this decade, we may compare ourselves to others who seem more successful or further ahead, leading to feelings of self-doubt and stress. However, it's essential to acknowledge that life is a journey, not a race, and that everyone encounters challenges and setbacks. One way to combat these feelings is by supporting black-led businesses and recognizing the importance of representation and inclusion. Brands like Nature's Way and Walmart offer a range of products from black founders, providing more choices and opportunities for growth. Another way to take control of our lives is by managing our finances effectively. Intuit offers various financial products to help individuals and small businesses prosper, making it easier to manage money and reach financial goals. Lastly, taking care of ourselves, especially our teeth, is crucial. Brands like Pronamel offer enamel repair solutions to protect our teeth and promote overall oral health. By prioritizing our well-being and recognizing that everyone's journey is unique, we can shift our focus from feeling behind to moving forward.

    Feeling behind in your twenties is common

    Feeling behind or lost in your twenties is a common experience, regardless of what it may seem from the outside. As we enter this decade, our life paths become more unique and diverse, leading to a sense of competition and comparison that wasn't present in our earlier years. This feeling of being behind can stem from the belief that we should have certain milestones achieved by a certain age, such as a successful career, a partner, or financial stability. However, it's essential to remember that everyone's journey is different, and there's no one-size-fits-all timeline for achieving these goals. Instead of focusing on the comparison, we should focus on enjoying the personal journey and finding fulfillment in the experiences and growth that come with each step, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant. By shifting our mindset and embracing the unique path that our twenties present, we can learn to appreciate the scenic route and find joy in the journey, rather than just the destination.

    Comparing ourselves to others can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction

    Feeling behind or unaccomplished, particularly in the areas of careers, relationships, and finances, is a common experience for many people, especially in today's socially connected world. With easy access to comparison through social media and societal expectations, it's natural to focus on those who seem to be ahead, rather than those in the same situation. This can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction and a sense that one's life isn't progressing as it should. It's important to remember that society's blueprint for a happy life is incomplete and doesn't account for the many different paths people take. By focusing on our own progress and setting our own pace, we can work towards feeling more content and secure in our twenties and beyond.

    Fear of uncertainty and shame during major life transitions

    Fear of uncertainty and the desire for productivity and security can keep us in careers or industries that we don't fully love. This fear is often compounded by the shame we feel when we don't meet our own high expectations or imagined future, especially during major life transitions like graduating from university or making a career change. Shame can stem from feelings of inadequacy and a sense that we have not lived up to our own standards, leading to negative emotional consequences. Many people experience this shame when starting again or facing unexpected setbacks, such as job loss. It's important to remember that these feelings are common and that it's okay to not have everything figured out right now. Instead, focus on learning from your experiences and taking steps towards a future that aligns with your values and goals.

    Beyond career and finances: Experiences, relationships, and personal growth matter

    While it's natural to compare ourselves to others and feel like we're falling behind in our careers and finances, it's important to remember that our worth goes beyond these aspects of our lives. Experiences, relationships, and personal growth are valuable and contribute to our identity. However, the discussion also highlighted the challenges of accumulating debt and feeling financially behind, even with a good job. Money plays a significant role in our lives and can cause anxiety and cynicism, especially when we see others seemingly having more. It's essential to acknowledge these feelings but also focus on what we can control, such as making small steps towards financial stability and not comparing ourselves too harshly to others. Ultimately, our worth is not determined by our career or financial situation.

    Money and Fear of Missed Opportunities

    Money plays a significant role in unlocking opportunities and shaping the lifestyle we desire. Many people, especially in their twenties, can feel anxious and overwhelmed by their finances, often fearing that a lack of savings or financial stability will lead to an unfulfilling life. This fear is not about keeping up with others, but rather the regret of missed opportunities and experiences. It's essential to acknowledge the importance of money and be conscious of our finances, but also to remember that unexpected changes can occur. By having a solid financial plan in place, we can turn anxiety into confidence and live our best lives. Intuit is a financial platform that can help us take control of our money, whether we're just starting out or running a small business. Remember, every time we support black-led brands, we create more opportunities for innovation and choice. So, let's prioritize our finances, protect our teeth, and embrace the power of choice.

    Everyone's journey to love is unique

    It's important to remember that everyone's journey is unique when it comes to relationships and finding love. Prenamel intensive enamel repair offers a solution for acid weakened enamel, going beyond regular brushing. Meanwhile, in the realm of relationships, it's essential not to put undue pressure on oneself to find a partner by a certain age. Society's emphasis on romantic love and relationships can create anxiety and stress, but it's crucial to remember that happiness and fulfillment can be found without a partner. The fear of being alone and behind others can keep us in unhealthy relationships, but it's essential to focus on self-growth and self-love. It's also important to recognize that the achievements and milestones of single people aren't celebrated as much as those in relationships, and the pressure to have children can add to the stress. Ultimately, everyone's timeline is different, and it's essential to remember that there's no one-size-fits-all approach to love and relationships.

    Pressure to Settle Down in Your Twenties

    Many women in their twenties experience feelings of being behind in their romantic relationships and face societal pressure to have children, leading to stress and insecurity. This can impact various aspects of their lives, including finances and friendships. The pressure to find a partner can feel overwhelming, and the experience is not just about love but also about the fear of missing out on other experiences and connections. However, it's important to remember that everyone's timeline is different, and the right person will come along when the time is right. It may be helpful to focus on personal growth and self-love during this time. Additionally, those who have experienced long-term relationships that ended unexpectedly may also feel behind in their romantic journeys. Overall, it's essential to remember that you're not alone in these feelings and that everyone's experience is unique.

    Feeling Disconnected in Your Twenties: Causes and Coping Strategies

    Feeling behind in your twenties, particularly in areas of career, finances, and love, can be a result of various factors beyond our control. Long-term relationships ending unexpectedly and external pressures from society's expectations can leave us feeling disconnected from our desired path. The constant focus on what's next and societal pressure to meet certain milestones can add to the stress and make it difficult to appreciate the present moment. Moreover, the pandemic has introduced a new challenge, which some people refer to as the "pandemic skip," where progress in various aspects of life has been halted or delayed. It's essential to remember that everyone's journey is unique, and it's okay to take the time needed to process and adapt to new realities.

    Impact of COVID-19 on young adults' experiences

    The COVID-19 pandemic has significantly impacted the experiences and development of many individuals during their formative years in their twenties. These lost experiences and delayed opportunities can make it feel like one's age should be adjusted downwards. It's essential to acknowledge this and be kind to oneself, recognizing that everyone's journey is unique and not defined by arbitrary timelines. It's important to manage feelings of being behind in life and find ways to move forward while acknowledging the challenges faced during this unprecedented time. Additionally, it's crucial to focus on the present and find joy in the experiences we can have now, rather than dwelling on what was lost. Life is hard enough, and we don't need to make it harder by comparing ourselves to unrealistic expectations. Instead, let's embrace our individuality and find ways to thrive in our unique circumstances. Remember, it's okay to go at your own pace and make the most of the opportunities available to you now.

    Support Black-led businesses and plan finances wisely

    Supporting black-led businesses and having a solid financial plan are essential steps towards creating a better life. Black founders bring unique products and choices to the table, and shopping from them helps pave the way for more representation. Intuit provides tools to help manage finances and gain confidence, while brands like Pronamel ensure the protection of essentials like teeth. Cognitive behavioral therapy encourages reframing negative thoughts into positive ones, allowing for a more enjoyable and fulfilling perspective on life's journey. The speaker's personal experience of traveling and growth highlights the importance of valuing experiences and personal development, even if they don't align with societal norms. Overall, embracing these aspects can lead to increased confidence, happiness, and success.

    Experience vs. Tradition: Valuing Freedom Over Stability

    Life presents us with numerous choices and each decision comes with its own trade-offs. The speaker shares her experience of traveling instead of following the traditional route of going to university and getting a job right away. Although she felt behind initially, she emphasizes the importance of valuing what one gains from their experiences, such as freedom, flexibility, and excitement, over what one might lose, like stability and financial security. It's crucial to remember that everyone's journey is unique and the grass is always greener on the other side. Your twenties are just the beginning of many seasons and chapters in life, and it's essential to embrace the experimentation and uncertainty phases without feeling insecure or alone. As Doctor Meg Jay once shared on the podcast, this is just the first season of your TV show, and the next seasons will bring new and different experiences.

    Stories of unconventional success in our twenties

    Life doesn't always follow a traditional path, and that's okay. The speaker shared stories of successful individuals who didn't conform to societal norms or expectations in their twenties. One author, who spent her days leading outdoor activities, eventually became a renowned psychologist and author. Another woman, who didn't find love until her late twenties, now has a wonderful relationship. A third person, who failed her first degree and worked in a restaurant, is now a successful CEO. These stories remind us that setbacks and detours don't define our futures. Instead, they can provide valuable experiences that contribute to our growth and success. It's essential to appreciate the journey, even when it's challenging or unconventional. As the quote goes, "youth is wasted on the young." We often don't fully appreciate the value of our experiences until we've lived through them. So, keep pushing forward, even when the path isn't clear, and trust that the end result will be worth it.

    Embrace the Uncertainties of Your Twenties

    The twenties can be a time of worry and uncertainty, but it's important to remember that this decade is often when we make the least amount of money and have the least hindsight. Looking back, many people wish they had appreciated their experiences more. So, trust in the wisdom of those who have come before us and remember that it's all going to be okay. The speaker encourages listeners to share this message with friends who might be feeling stuck or behind. In other news, there are opportunities to celebrate and discover new products during Black History Month at Walmart, and there are effective hair removal tools available for women with Conair Girl Bomb. Additionally, Nature's Way Alive women's multivitamin gummies can help women feel their best every day. Overall, it's important to take care of ourselves, trust in the journey, and enjoy the experiences along the way.

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    Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg

    Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast

     

     

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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