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    175. Living alone in your 20s

    Consider all expenses, shop secondhand, avoid cognitive distortions, prioritize financial freedom, take care of health, and make decisions with flexibility.

    enMarch 05, 2024

    About this Episode

    This week we are discussing the ups and downs of living alone in your 20s: from the freedom and independence, to the loneliness and social isolation, financial anxiety and stress, but the authenticity and emotional maturity that comes with it. We talk about: 

    • Why being alone doesn't make you lonely
    • Sliders versus deciders - why you should wait before moving in with a partner
    • Cognitive distortions and overspending 
    • Lifestyle creep 
    • Habits for building social connection and community
    • How to successfully live alone 

    All that and more, listen now! 

     

    Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg

    Follow The Psychology of your 20s on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast 

     

     

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    🔑 Key Takeaways

    • Protect oral health with Pronamel toothpaste and mouthwash, shop smartly, use tools like Canva for presentations, navigate independence and responsibility, support black-owned brands, embrace growth and challenges
    • Living alone in your 20s can lead to increased self-reliance, creativity, and personal growth, but it's essential to combat feelings of isolation through building a support system, pursuing hobbies, and maintaining a healthy work-life balance.
    • Deliberate thought in relationship decisions leads to stronger, more intentional partnerships
    • As we age, the need for control over our living spaces increases for mental well-being. Living with roommates can lead to stress and financial burden due to shared responsibilities and differing values. Many opt for solitude and financial freedom, but be mindful of unnecessary expenses.
    • Being aware of cognitive biases, setting financial goals, creating a budget, and regularly evaluating spending habits can help prevent overspending and maintain financial stability despite earning more money.
    • Invest in self-care and black-owned businesses for a healthier, more fulfilling life. Use tools like Canva for time-saving presentations and brands like Lared Superfood for optimal health.
    • People who live alone can have more intentional and fulfilling relationships compared to those living with roommates, but it's essential to balance solitude and social interaction to avoid loneliness.
    • Living alone offers unique benefits like increased happiness and freedom, but also comes with challenges like loneliness. Create a routine, build community, and recognize the importance of connection to thrive.
    • Building and maintaining social connections can alleviate feelings of loneliness and promote emotional well-being. Honesty and openness can lead to deeper connections, while creating a comfortable living space can promote relaxation and calm.
    • Be honest about your finances, create a realistic budget, use practical tips like debit cards and used furniture purchases to manage your money, and remember it's okay to make adjustments as needed.
    • Consider all expenses, shop secondhand, avoid cognitive distortions, prioritize financial freedom, take care of health, and make decisions with flexibility.
    • CVS Health offers quality care and support through wellness destinations, in-person and virtually, with partners like Oak Street Health and CVS Pharmacy. They also provide in-home evaluations and mental health services. Canva presentations help communicate these changes effectively.

    📝 Podcast Summary

    Caring for our teeth and managing our lives in our 20s

    Our 20s can be a time of neglect when it comes to taking care of ourselves, including our teeth. Protecting our oral health is important, as we only get one set of teeth. Pronamel intensive enamel repair toothpaste and mouthwash can help repair acid-weakened enamel. Meanwhile, shopping smartly at places like Kroger can help us feel like we're winning. For those who work for themselves, tools like Canva presentations can save time and make presentations look great. Living alone in our 20s can be a rite of passage filled with independence and responsibility, but also loneliness and financial anxiety. It's a time of growth and self-discovery, answering questions about our need for social connection and facing our fears. Black-owned brands at Walmart offer a choice of products and support for black founders. Overall, our 20s are a time of transitions and growth, filled with both challenges and opportunities.

    Living Alone in Your 20s: Challenges and Benefits

    Living alone in your 20s comes with its own set of challenges and benefits, especially for those who are extroverted and crave social interaction. Fear of loneliness can be a major concern, but it can also serve as motivation to embrace solitude and gain valuable independence. Psychologically, living alone can lead to increased self-reliance, creativity, and personal growth. However, it's essential to find ways to combat feelings of isolation, such as building a strong support system, pursuing hobbies, and maintaining a healthy work-life balance. Ultimately, the decision to live alone is a personal one that requires careful consideration of individual needs and preferences.

    Making conscious decisions in relationships

    Making conscious decisions in relationships, especially when it comes to big life transitions like moving in together, is important for long-term commitment and growth. Sliding into these decisions without deliberate thought can lead to relationship inertia and a lack of commitment. The speaker's decision to live alone before moving in with her boyfriend allowed her to be her own person and fully commit when they were ready to live together. The research suggests that making conscious decisions in relationships can lead to a stronger and more intentional partnership.

    The Importance of Control in Living Environments

    As we grow older, particularly in our mid-20s, we place greater importance on having control over our living environment for our mental well-being. This need for agency can lead to stress when living with roommates whose values and living styles differ significantly. The responsibility to maintain a shared living space can create a "tragedy of the commons" situation, where no one wants to do the chores. Ultimately, many people choose to live alone to avoid these stressors, even if it means paying more. This decision can be justified by increased financial freedom and the luxury of having complete control over one's living space. However, it's essential to be conscious of the cost and not let the desire for personal space lead to unnecessary financial strain.

    Lifestyle creep and its influence on spending

    Lifestyle creep, the tendency to spend more money as you earn more, can lead to overspending and financial instability. This phenomenon is influenced by various cognitive biases, such as the illusion of future income, restraint bias, and present bias. These biases can cause us to spend on things we don't really need, ignoring the true cost of living and the impact on our future financial well-being. It's essential to be aware of these biases and make informed decisions based on our current income and expenses, rather than future expectations or desires. To avoid lifestyle creep, consider setting clear financial goals, creating a budget, and regularly evaluating your spending habits. Remember, the present bias can make it tempting to focus on current desires, but long-term financial stability is crucial.

    Investing in ourselves and supporting black-owned businesses

    Taking care of our health and well-being, especially in our 20s, is crucial. Whether it's protecting our teeth with Pronamel or using tools like Canva presentations to make our lives easier, investing in ourselves is essential. Additionally, supporting black-owned businesses and their innovative products at Walmart is a way to make a positive impact all year round. Furthermore, living alone can bring fears of social isolation and loneliness, but it's important to remember that fulfilling our basic needs for social interaction, money, and security are vital for our health and well-being. Tools like Canva presentations can help us save time and create visually impressive presentations, while brands like Lared Superfood offer real, plant-based ingredients for optimal health. Overall, taking care of ourselves, supporting black-owned businesses, and prioritizing our needs can lead to a more fulfilling and thriving life.

    Living Alone: The Complex Relationship Between Solitude and Loneliness

    The need for social interaction and the experience of loneliness when living alone varies greatly from person to person. Some people require more frequent interactions to feel satisfied, while others may thrive in solitude. The threshold for interaction is subjective and influenced by factors such as extroversion, baseline need for socialization, and personal circumstances. It's a common problem that living alone equates to loneliness, but research shows that people who live alone often have more intentional and fulfilling relationships compared to those living with roommates. However, it's essential to give oneself time for solitude and self-reflection to recharge and tap into creativity. The belief that living alone leads to loneliness often stems from studies on older adults or those who didn't have a choice in their living situation. When considering people's preferences and reality, studies reveal that those who choose to live alone are typically more connected to others.

    Embracing the Benefits and Challenges of Living Alone

    Living alone can bring about unique benefits, such as increased happiness, better control over loneliness, and greater freedom and independence. However, it's important to recognize that solitude comes with its own challenges and that everyone's experience is different. To successfully embrace living alone, consider creating a routine to provide structure and stability, and build community in various ways, even if it feels small. Remember, loneliness is a signal to reach out and connect, and everyone has the power to take control of their experience. It's a trade-off between convenience and social interaction versus freedom and independence, and it's essential to recognize which aspects are more valuable to you. Living alone can also offer opportunities for greater authenticity, responsibility, and emotional introspection. By acknowledging the fears and downsides, but focusing on the benefits and practical tips, one can successfully embrace the luxury and privilege of having their own space.

    The Importance of Social Connections for Emotional Well-being

    Building and maintaining social connections, whether it's with neighbors or friends, is essential for our emotional well-being. These connections provide a sense of belonging and can help alleviate feelings of loneliness. Being open and honest about our emotions with others can lead to deeper connections and a sense of understanding. It's important to make our living spaces comfortable and cozy, as our environment can greatly impact our mental health. Cluttered spaces can lead to feelings of anxiety and overwhelm, while tidy and warm spaces can promote relaxation and calm. Don't underestimate the power of being friendly with your neighbors or reaching out to friends when you're feeling lonely. Honesty and candor are valued, and acknowledging and addressing feelings of loneliness can lead to meaningful connections and growth.

    Recognizing and Addressing Financial Anxiety During Major Life Transitions

    Financial anxiety is a common issue when making a major life transition, such as moving out and living alone, and it's essential to acknowledge and address it rather than avoiding it. Signs of financial anxiety include refusing to open bills or pay them on time, compulsive budgeting, and rigidity that leads to depriving oneself of basic needs. Being honest about your financial situation and creating a realistic budget can help prevent feelings of failure and enable better financial management. Additionally, using a debit card for large purchases, setting aside rent money in a high-interest account, and buying used furniture on Facebook Marketplace are practical tips for managing finances during this transition. Remember, there's no shame in reevaluating your financial situation and making adjustments as needed.

    Affordable Living: Smart Shopping and Planning

    Smart shopping and careful planning can help individuals afford necessary items for their living space, even when they're on a budget. The speaker shared her experience of purchasing a TV stand for a fraction of its original price through Facebook Marketplace and Ikea's secondhand section. She emphasized the importance of considering all expenses, including utilities, moving costs, and small necessities, before making a purchase. The speaker also encouraged listeners to avoid cognitive distortions that might lead to overspending. Additionally, she highlighted the importance of having financial freedom and flexibility to make decisions like living alone. The episode also touched upon the importance of taking care of one's health, specifically teeth, with the mention of Pronamel toothpaste and mouthwash. Lastly, the speaker promoted events and products related to Black History Month and Canva presentations for making presentations quickly and easily.

    CVS Health Expands Health Services

    CVS Health is expanding its health services in various ways to better cater to individuals' needs. This includes offering quality care and support through wellness destinations, both in-person and virtually, with partners like Oak Street Health and CVS Pharmacy. Additionally, they provide in-home evaluations through Signify Health and mental health services through Etna. Canva presentations can help communicate these changes effectively and efficiently with their presentation design tool at Canva.com. Overall, CVS Health is committed to making healthier happen in more ways than ever before. To learn more about their offerings and eligibility, visit cbshealth.com/HealthierHappensTogether. CVS Pharmacy, Oak Street Health, CVS Specialty, Signify Health, and Etna are all part of this comprehensive health solution from CVS Health. However, eligibility and services may vary by location and individual.

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