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    5 Scientific Rules for Making & Breaking Habits in 2023!

    Asking non-judgmental questions and supporting others can lead to effective behavior change. Setting ourselves up for success and demonstrating empathy can contribute to a happier society.

    enDecember 29, 2022

    About this Episode

    In this episode I wanted to do something that I haven't done in a while. It's been too long since it was just me, the microphone, and you. If there's one request I get over and over again, it's for more episodes of DOAC like in our early years, just me what's front of my mind - an authentic 'Diary of a CEO'. It's been an incredible 2022, our level of guest and conversation has only got higher and higher, but I wanted to look forward to 2023. Specifically, something that's been on my mind lately, how do you actually make new years resolutions stick? We all have our own theory, but what does the science say? In this episode you'll hear the surprising things that people get WRONG when they make resolutions. Using the latest from the fields of neuroscience and psychology, you'll hear about the surprising powers goal setting has to help you practice better habits. And not just how to pick up those habits, but how to make those habits last a lifetime. Follow me: https://beacons.ai/diaryofaceo Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    🔑 Key Takeaways

    • Understanding and implementing effective habits and goal-setting techniques can significantly increase our chances of achieving long-term success and creating positive change in our lives.
    • Understanding how habits are formed can help us make positive changes in our behavior.
    • Habits are difficult to break because they are deeply ingrained in our brains, but by understanding the habit loop, we can replace old habits with healthier ones.
    • Habits take time to form or break, and stress plays a significant role in our ability to establish new habits.
    • Delaying gratification and managing stress levels can greatly enhance our chances of success in various aspects of life, including health, work, and relationships.
    • Prioritizing stress reduction, getting enough sleep, and understanding cues are essential for successfully making or breaking habits.
    • Instead of trying to suppress cravings or restrain thoughts about a bad habit, redirect attention towards a positive action as a substitute. Changing habits takes time and commitment, and strong intrinsic motivation is crucial for success.
    • Genuine and meaningful reasons drive long-term change, emphasizing the importance of prioritizing health beyond appearance and the limitations of relying solely on willpower.
    • Setting small, achievable goals and allowing for rewards can increase the chances of success by not depleting our willpower.
    • Asking simple yes or no questions about behavior can significantly influence future actions. By triggering cognitive dissonance, individuals are more likely to commit to the desired behavior and establish clear intentions for change.
    • Asking non-judgmental questions and supporting others can lead to effective behavior change. Setting ourselves up for success and demonstrating empathy can contribute to a happier society.

    📝 Podcast Summary

    The Power of Habits and Goal-Setting.

    Habits play a significant role in our lives and can greatly impact our success in achieving our goals. Habits are deeply ingrained behaviors that we perform almost automatically, saving our time and mental energy for more important tasks. Making and breaking habits is crucial in taking control of our lives and achieving our most important goals. Research shows that setting New Year's resolutions can increase the probability of achieving our goals by 1050% after 6 months. However, it is important to understand that forming new habits takes time and effort, and most people tend to give up on their resolutions within a month. By understanding the science behind habits and goal-setting, we can increase our chances of being part of the successful 9% who achieve their resolutions and create lasting change in their lives.

    The Science Behind Habit Formation

    Habits are deeply ingrained in our brain's habit control center, which is located in the basal ganglia. Just like rats in a maze, our brains form habit loops consisting of cues, routines, and rewards. Once a habit is formed, our brains go on autopilot, allowing us to perform tasks without conscious thought. This explains how individuals can effortlessly navigate familiar routes or complete habitual actions while simultaneously pondering complex problems. Habits can be powerful and difficult to break, as seen in the case of Steven Bartlett's father, who only smoked in the car. Understanding the science behind habit formation can help us both make and break habits, leading to positive changes in our behavior.

    Breaking old habits and forming new ones

    Habits cannot be completely broken or forgotten. Even after forming new habits, the old ones still remain intact and can easily resurface. This is because habits are deeply ingrained in our brains and serve a purpose, even if they are not beneficial. Consequently, it is not surprising that 91% of people fail to keep their New Year's resolutions and why 25% of them cannot even maintain their resolution for a week. The cues and rewards associated with old habits continue to exist, making it challenging to establish new behaviors. However, the good news is that habits can be replaced with new ones. By understanding the habit loop and finding ways to interrupt it, it is possible to form healthier and more beneficial habits.

    The science behind forming and breaking habits and the role of stress.

    Forming and breaking habits requires repetition and understanding the role of stress. Scientific studies show that the time it takes to form a habit varies from person to person, ranging from 21 to 100 days. Breaking unwanted habits follows a similar pattern. The brain's dopamine or reward system plays a significant role in habit formation, and many rewarding behaviors, such as excessive sugar consumption or smoking, trigger the release of dopamine. These behaviors can be chemically addictive and harder to break. Our society is designed to promote these habit-forming activities, and highly processed foods can activate the same neurological habit loop as addictive drugs. Additionally, stress increases the likelihood of engaging in unwanted habits, making it crucial to minimize stress levels to solidify new habits.

    The Power of Delayed Gratification: Increasing Your Chances of Success

    Delaying gratification is a crucial skill for achieving success in various aspects of life. The famous Marshmallow experiment conducted by Walter Michelle revealed that children who were able to resist the temptation of eating a marshmallow and wait for a second one had higher exam scores, lower substance abuse levels, lower childhood obesity rates, better social skills, and overall better outcomes in life. Furthermore, these individuals also had better responses to stress, indicating that delaying gratification helps in regulating impulsivity and reducing stress levels. Stress can negatively impact our ability to delay gratification and ultimately hinder us from achieving our goals. Therefore, understanding the importance of delayed gratification and managing stress levels can significantly increase our chances of success in health, work, and relationships.

    Focusing on Simple Factors for Creating New Habits and Achieving Big Goals

    The foundation for creating new habits and achieving big goals is focusing on simple factors that reduce stress and improve overall well-being. Scientific evidence supports the importance of getting more sleep, regular exercise, and practicing stress reduction techniques like meditation. Sleep plays a crucial role in the success or failure of popular resolutions such as weight loss, healthy eating, work performance, ethical behavior, mood, social interactions, and quitting smoking. To make or break a habit, it is essential to prioritize feeling good, avoiding stress, and ensuring sufficient sleep. Additionally, knowing and understanding our cues is key to changing habits. By identifying and avoiding triggers, we increase our chances of breaking bad habits. Capitalizing on major life changes, such as moving to a new city, can create an opportunity to break old habits by removing familiar cues and routines. Instead of solely focusing on stopping bad habits, it is more effective to replace them with healthier alternatives.

    The Pitfall of Focusing on Quitting and the Power of Positive Action

    Focusing too much on stopping a bad habit may actually make it more difficult to quit. Studies have shown that suppressing thoughts about indulging in a craving often leads to a rebound effect, causing individuals to engage in the behavior even more. Similarly, trying to restrain thoughts about smoking can backfire, resulting in heightened thoughts about smoking. Instead of solely focusing on quitting, it is more effective to redirect attention towards a positive action or behavior as a substitute for the bad habit. By replacing the habit with a new action-oriented habit, the brain has a more positive goal to focus on. Changing habits takes time and commitment, with different individuals requiring varying lengths of time for behavior change. Ultimately, having a strong intrinsic motivation is crucial in overcoming the strong biological reward associated with the original habit.

    The Power of Intrinsic Motivation

    Intrinsic motivation, driven by personal and genuine reasons, is essential for long-term change. Steven Bartlett shares his experience of initially having shallow motivations, like achieving a six-pack for the summer, which led to temporary changes in his lifestyle. However, it wasn't until a tragic event in 2020 that he realized the importance of his health and fitness as the foundation of his life. He discovered that prioritizing his health every day, beyond physical appearance, gave him a powerful intrinsic reason to make sustainable choices. This conversation emphasizes that good habits require a strong and meaningful reason to overcome challenges. Additionally, it highlights the limitation of willpower as a constant skill, suggesting that it can fluctuate and exhaust like any other muscle in the body.

    Understanding the limitations of willpower and its impact on achieving goals

    Willpower is a limited resource that can become depleted when we constantly practice restraint or put ourselves under pressure. Just like a muscle, willpower can get tired and lose its strength to resist temptations or maintain self-control. This depletion of willpower can have significant effects on our ability to problem-solve, stay focused, and achieve our goals. Crash diets and setting unrealistic or unsustainable goals often lead to failure because they require major sacrifices that deplete our willpower reserves. To increase the chances of success, it is important to set small, achievable goals that do not put excessive strain on our willpower. Additionally, depriving ourselves of all rewards can be counterproductive, as it further drains our willpower.

    The Power of Yes or No Questions in Influencing Behavior Change

    Asking yourself or others a simple yes or no question about a behavior can significantly influence whether that behavior is performed in the future. This phenomenon, known as the question behavior effect, has been shown to last for more than 6 months after the question is asked. The effect is most powerful when the question is administered via computer or a paper and pencil survey. By asking a question that encourages a definitive yes or no answer, cognitive dissonance is triggered, causing discomfort if the desired behavior doesn't align with one's ideal self. In order to relieve this discomfort, individuals are more likely to commit to the behavior, making it a self-fulfilling prophecy. By using binary choices without room for excuses or justifications, individuals are forced to confront the reality of who they want to be and establish clear intentions. So, instead of making excuses or lecturing others, try asking a simple question to prompt behavior change.

    Creating Positive Change Through Empathy and Support

    Asking clear yes or no questions about areas of struggle in our lives can lead to significant behavior change. By using this strategy, we can motivate ourselves and others to make positive changes without judgment. Additionally, it is important to raise awareness gently and empathetically, focusing on the ideal self rather than criticizing or lecturing. Despite the high likelihood of failure with goals and resolutions, we shouldn't be discouraged from trying because resolutions can be effective. It is crucial to set ourselves up for success by following the 6 rules discussed in this podcast. Moreover, we should support and help others who are struggling, recognizing that if we were in their shoes, we would likely be doing the same. By lifting each other up and demonstrating gratitude, we contribute to a happier and more successful society.

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