equanimity

Have you ever been caught in the intricate web of guilt and shame, unable to discern their differences and the profound impact they can have on our lives?

It is in the embrace of these complexities that we embark on a journey of self-discovery, unraveling the layers of guilt and shame to illuminate the path towards growth.

In this episode, we shall delve into the depths of guilt, examining its many forms and manifestations. 

Whether it's the persistent burden of past mistakes, the impact of our actions on those around us, the guilt that stems from unmet expectations and commitments, or the often overlooked sensation of privilege guilt, there are ways to overcome these emotions. 

As we go through the different types, we shall emerge with newfound insights and perspectives, better equipped to navigate these complex emotions. Through understanding, reflection, and conscious action, we shall rise above guilt's shadows and embrace the light of self-forgiveness, empowerment, and transformation. 

In this episode you'll learn:

• The difference between guilt and shame
• The different types of guilt
• How to deal with the emotional burdens of guilt
• How to grow from getting stuck in the past

This is a journey of emotional growth, healing, and attaining inner peace that you wouldn’t want to miss.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

• 00:00 Intro
• 02:37 Let’s understand the difference between shame and guilt and how to define them
• 05:03 What are the different types of guilt we experience in life? 
• 12:09 The five types of guilt and how you can grow out of it
• 13:51 Type #1: Do you often think of a past mistake and still feel guilty about it?
• 19:27 Type #2: You feel guilty when someone tells you how your action made them feel bad
• 24:03 Type #3: The guilt of not making time for others or letting someone else down
• 26:46 Type #4: The guilt of not having pain, of having privilege, or having safety and security   
• 28:12 Type #5: The survival guilt, that guilty feeling when you’ve gotten through something difficult when others didn’t 

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In a world reduced to digital exchanges and swift judgments, reviving tolerance has become vital. Toleration comes from the ancient Proto-Indo-European root meaning “to carry,” a capacity collapsing in current culture. We stumble into extremes when we lose the strength to carry the tension of opposite ideas and feelings. Exaggerations of discomfort and hyperbolic comparisons pepper media messages and inflame the underinformed public--the collective psyche lists from topic to topic. In the vertigo of confusion, we make terrible decisions and strike out blindly. 

Disorientation is not new, and the wise have tried over and again to help us restore inner balance. The Greek Stoics differentiated the internal functions we can tame from the outer circumstances we cannot control. Their goal was to maintain a serene disposition in every circumstance. Buddhists venerate equanimity, or a balanced mind undisturbed by life’s phenomena. They practice Metta, establishing a flow of loving kindness to all life. It creates a new attitude where those who create suffering are only unskilled, always capable of gaining the skills of kindness. In the 20^th century, Existentialists emphasized individual freedom, choice, and responsibility. They encouraged us to navigate the absurdities of life with calmness and courage, understanding that life’s fluctuating circumstances are inherent in human existence. Cultivating these attitudes can equilibrate cancel culture’s mounting costs - social polarization, intellectual stifling, economic repercussions, and psychological distress.

The value of constructive self-regulation is multifaceted - from personal resilience and effective interpersonal interactions to societal harmony and progress. In facilitating discourse on provocative topics, ‘safe spaces’ prove therapeutic and societal value. They allow for non-judgmental exploration of thoughts and feelings, bridging societal divides and fostering social cohesion. We must ensure these spaces promote growth and understanding, not simply comfort and echo-chamber formation. A shift towards tolerance, equanimity, and safe spaces can provide an antidote to the ills of cancel culture and intolerance, fostering a more empathetic, understanding, and harmonious society.

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In this episode, the social justice educator and activist Jacoby Ballard talks about a universal, or near universal, issue: anger. And, he offers us two mental skills that can help channel anger into something even more powerful and effective. Those skills are forgiveness and equanimity. 

Ballard is a meditation and yoga teacher and the author of a new book called, A Queer Dharma: Yoga and Meditations for Liberation

Content Warnings: There are some brief references to sensitive topics, including trauma and suicide. 

In this episode we talk about: 

• How he went from an activist largely fueled by anger to a dharma teacher with a very different approach
• The sometimes useful role of anger in activism and the danger of being stuck in anger mode
• The subtle but powerful move of getting in touch with what is beneath our anger
• Using annoyance as a jumping off point for inner investigation
• Ways to work with anger and learning to discharge the energy in our body 
• Forgiveness, including forgiving ourselves
• Getting over our need to be right
• Equanimity, or as Jacoby calls it, his “tussle with equanimity”

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jacoby-ballard-470

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Can you become happier, more balanced, and practice equanimity without losing your edge? 

Guest Kamala Masters was one of the teachers at Dan’s first ever meditation retreat. In this episode she dives into how to develop equanimity and shares her story of learning how to practice meditation during her everyday life while raising three children on her own. 

Kamala Masters has been meditating since the 1970s, first with Anagarika Munindra, who was Joseph Goldstein’s first teacher, and then with the Burmese master Sayadaw U Pandita with whom she twice temporarily ordained as a Buddhist nun. More recently, she’s been training with another Burmese master we’ve talked about here on the show, Sayadaw U Tejaniya. She is a Guiding Teacher at the Insight Meditation Society, and the co-founder of the Vipassana Metta Foundation, which developed the Maui Dharma Sanctuary.

In this conversation we talk about: 

• What is equanimity?
• The most common misconception about equanimity
• The near and far enemies of equanimity 
• The power and limitations of setting intentions

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/kamala-masters-442

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Returning to the practice of equanimity keeps you both grounded and receptive, especially during times of turmoil and uncertainty.

About Roshi Joan Halifax:

Roshi Joan Halifax is a Buddhist teacher, Zen priest, anthropologist, and pioneer in the field of end-of-life care. She is also the Founder, Abbot, and Head teacher of Upaya Institute and Zen Center in Santa Fe, New Mexico. Her books include Standing at the Edge: Finding Freedom Where Fear and Courage Meet, and The Fruitful Darkness: A Journey Through Buddhist Practice and Tribal Wisdom. 

To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for “Strong Back, Soft Front,” or click here: https://10percenthappier.app.link/content?meditation=4cfcfe2d-f5fb-4142-9bd0-3fb6b2041324.

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Join me on this episode as I show you why humans tend to want to believe that our lives will start in the future, or that it will start once we have achieved something, whether that’s weight loss, finding a partner, or anything else. Putting your life off until things get back to ‘normal’ is preventing you from experiencing the freedom and happiness you could be having right now if you embraced your current situation, and I’m giving you the tools to help you do that today.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/your-life-peace-10