123. A life update - healthy love, moving overseas, dealing with online criticism

Podcast Summary

• Embracing Change and Seeking Adventure in Your Twenties: It's okay to embrace change, seek adventure, and take breaks to recharge and reflect during the transformative years of your twenties.

  Transitions and changes in our twenties can bring about a sense of renewal and excitement. Jemma shares her experiences of entering a new chapter in her life and feeling a shift towards positivity and lighter moments. She emphasizes the importance of taking a break, breathing fresh air, and having casual conversations to recharge and reflect. Jemma also discusses her love life, her desire to move to a new city or country, and her plans for the future. Through this personal update, she invites the audience to connect and engage with her journey, reminding us that it's normal to feel restless and seek spontaneous adventures during this time of life.

• Navigating love in your twenties: from chaos to clarity.: Embrace the rollercoaster of emotions in your love life, learn from past experiences, prioritize self-worth, and approach love with a healthy mindset.

  Our love lives in our twenties can often be chaotic and filled with rollercoasters of emotions. Jemma Sbeg shares her own experiences of going through a breakup, a situationship, and eventually finding healthy love. She emphasizes the importance of having these experiences and stories to share with future generations. Jemma also acknowledges that these experiences can sometimes leave us feeling wounded and struggling with our self-worth. However, she highlights the idea of learning from the past and being grateful for the lessons it taught us. She mentions the saying "We accept the love we think we deserve" and how it resonated with her, leading her to change her perspective on dating and approach love in a healthier way. Ultimately, she found the need to prioritize herself and her own priorities before seeking romantic relationships.

• Embracing Singlehood for Personal Growth and Unexpected Love: Taking a break from pursuing love and prioritizing self-discovery can lead to personal growth and allow love to find its way naturally.

  Taking a break from pursuing love and embracing the joys of being single can lead to personal growth and healing. Jemma Sbeg shares her realization that her life had revolved around romantic interests and relationships from a young age, and she needed to make herself the main character for a while. This break allowed her to reconnect with herself, heal emotional wounds, and appreciate the beauty of being single. Despite initially not looking for love, she unexpectedly met someone wonderful when she least expected it. This story reminds us that sometimes, when we take the focus off finding love and prioritize self-discovery, love can find its way to us naturally.

• Stepping Out of Comfort Zones for Meaningful Connections: Taking a chance and being open to unique approaches can lead to unexpected connections and meaningful relationships.

  Sometimes taking a chance and being open to unique approaches can lead to unexpected connections. Jemma initially downloaded a dating app reluctantly, tired of the superficial small talk and lack of progress. However, one guy stood out with a refreshing approach of asking direct questions. Despite accidentally ghosting him, Jemma mustered the courage to apologize and continue the conversation. Their chats flourished, and when she took the initiative to ask about a date, he responded positively. Their first date turned out to be amazing, filled with multiple activities and genuine connection. This story reminds us that stepping out of our comfort zones and being honest can lead to meaningful connections and lasting relationships.

• The Transformative Power of Finding True Love: Finding someone who genuinely cares for you can lead to a feeling of safety, happiness, and appreciation, challenging previous beliefs and highlighting the importance of choosing a partner who respects and values you.

  Finding someone who truly values and cherishes you can be a beautiful and transformative experience. It can be scary to break free from past patterns of seeking attention and to trust that someone genuinely cares. Healthy love and dating involve someone who shows up for you, remains consistent, and is committed to your happiness. This newfound love can make you feel safe, happy, and appreciated. It can challenge previous beliefs about healing and self-worth, showing you that the right person can be the missing piece that enhances your self-love. Reflecting on past experiences can highlight the growth and changes that have occurred, reminding you of the importance of choosing a partner who respects and values you.

• Finding a healthy love and not settling for less: You deserve a consistent and kind love. Don't settle for less and believe in the hope for better romantic choices.

  It is important to remember that you deserve a love that is consistent, kind, stable, and easy. You should never settle for someone who doesn't make you feel adored and interesting, and who you don't feel the same way for. A healthy love will challenge you in unexpected ways, especially if you have experienced past hurt and trauma. It might trigger you at times, but that doesn't mean it will turn out like your previous relationships. It is a process of unlearning and recognizing the reassurance and encouragement that your partner provides. Don't settle for anything less than what you deserve and remember that there is something better out there for you. Don't believe in the scarcity effect that makes you settle for whoever is available. Hold out hope and make good romantic choices.

• Jemma's Journey for Change and New Opportunities: Jemma is seeking a new adventure and considering moving to a new city or going back to school to expand her options and protect herself for the future. She emphasizes the importance of building community in any new place.

  Jemma has been feeling uninspired and restless, seeking a new adventure in her twenties. She is contemplating two big decisions: moving to a new city, either in Australia or overseas, and going back to school for something unrelated to Psychology. Jemma expresses a fear of insecurity in her current career in podcasting and the entertainment industry, where her worth is tied to others' attention and trends. She is considering future study plans to protect herself and expand her options beyond her twenties. Jemma also discusses the uncertainty of her future as she nears 30 and emphasizes the importance of building community in any new place she considers moving to.

• Seeking Change and Overcoming Anxiety: Embracing change and taking risks can lead to new perspectives and personal growth, ultimately allowing us to find pride in our accomplishments.

  Jemma is contemplating a big change in her life, considering moving to a new city, and possibly pursuing a radio fellowship. She wonders if this change will bring excitement and novelty to her life and solve her current feelings of boredom. While some may argue that running away from problems is not the solution, Jemma believes that a change of environment and new experiences can bring a fresh perspective and make her problems seem less significant. She also discusses her book project and the anxiety that comes with taking risks and fearing failure. Regardless of the number of people who buy her book, Jemma's ultimate goal is to feel proud of her accomplishment.

• Finding Belonging in a New City: Jemma's Journey: Moving to a new city takes time and patience, but with perseverance, one can find a sense of belonging and experience personal growth through forming connections and embracing new surroundings.

  Moving to a new city can be challenging, but with time and patience, it is possible to find a sense of belonging and create a fulfilling life. Jemma Sbeg initially struggled with her move to Sydney, feeling isolated and lacking a sense of community. However, after approximately six months, her situation began to change for the better. She formed meaningful friendships, developed an understanding of her neighborhood, and even became friends with her neighbors. This experience emphasizes the importance of giving oneself time to adjust and embrace new surroundings. It serves as a reminder that while change can be difficult, it can also lead to personal growth and the discovery of unexpected joys.

• The Power of Building Connections and Community: Actively seeking friendships, hosting events, and surrounding oneself with like-minded individuals can lead to personal growth, happiness, and an overall sense of well-being.

  Creating connections and building a community is crucial for personal growth and happiness. Jemma's experience of initially feeling lonely when she moved to Sydney highlights the importance of actively seeking friendships and hosting events to build those connections. By taking the initiative to organize barbecues and dinner parties, Jemma has been able to create a fulfilling social life and be the source of joy for others. Additionally, she emphasizes the impact of having a shared workspace and being around like-minded individuals, which has boosted her productivity and overall sense of well-being. Jemma's story serves as a reminder that we should actively work towards creating meaningful relationships and nurturing a sense of community in our lives.

• Embracing New Experiences for Beautiful Memories and Unexpected Opportunities: Saying yes to new experiences and being open to possibilities can lead to beautiful memories and unexpected opportunities in life. It's important to not plan too much for the future and to be deliberate in choosing who gets to love us.

  Taking risks and saying yes to new experiences can lead to beautiful memories and unexpected opportunities. Jemma Sbeg shares her favorite memory of attending the Matildas semi-final game, despite their loss, and enjoying the infectious energy of the crowd. She also highlights the joy of visiting Jeong, a small country town in Australia, and embracing the upcoming Australian summer. Reflecting on her biggest life lesson, Jemma emphasizes the importance of saying yes to everything and being open to new possibilities. Planning too much for the future may prevent us from experiencing the most beautiful things life has in store for us. In terms of attachment style, Jemma acknowledges the influence of parental guidance but also recognizes the impact of past relationships and experiences. She suggests that deliberate decisions about who gets to love us can contribute to becoming more secure in attachment.

• Developing Healthy Relationships and Building Self-Confidence: Building and maintaining healthy relationships requires effective communication, vulnerability, and self-love. It is important to surround yourself with trusted individuals who can offer genuine feedback and to understand that negative feedback often comes from others' insecurities.

  Building healthy relationships requires practice, communication, and vulnerability. Whether you have anxious or avoidant attachment styles, it's important to find someone who meets you halfway and understands your triggers and reactions. Over-communicating your needs and asking for reassurance can help create a secure and healing environment. However, it's also crucial to recognize that not everyone will have positive opinions or provide constructive criticism. Understanding that negative feedback often stems from others' insecurities or deeply-held opinions can help you maintain your self-confidence. Surrounding yourself with trusted individuals who can offer genuine feedback and acknowledging that everything is temporary can help navigate through hurtful comments. Lastly, self-love is a continuous journey, and while you may not be at 100%, embracing growth and working towards loving yourself more is essential.

• Embracing self-compassion for a peaceful and happy life.: Accepting the things we cannot change and loving ourselves despite imperfections leads to a journey of radical self-compassion and gratitude for a supportive community.

  Self-love and self-compassion are vital for finding peace and happiness in life. Jemma reflects on a past filled with chaos and drama, realizing that she has achieved a level of peace that she could never go back to. She emphasizes the importance of accepting the things we cannot change and loving ourselves despite our imperfections. While she acknowledges that she may never reach a point of a hundred percent self-love, she is doing well and is on a journey of radical self-compassion. Jemma expresses gratitude for the support of her listeners and reflects on how lucky she is to have such a supportive community.