Naming the Real

Learn to access and express your anger artfully for greater confidence, advocacy and intimacy.

Anger is commonly seen as wrong or taboo which can generate shame around it whether you experience it often or not. Anger is a gift that when understood, felt, and integrated can increase flourishing.

Register now at https://namingthereal.com/product/the-art-of-anger/ to secure your spot and unlock the power of your anger.

We live in a time of crisis, with faith in traditional institutions and power structures falling precipitously, leaving us a dearth of meaningful narratives to which to cling. Many are deconstructing their faith as they find their own spiritual practice hollow. In this conversation with the celebrated spiritual thinker and writer John Philip Newell, new paths forward emerge. Through an exploration of Celtic thought and how its wisdom off-sets the dominant thinking of Imperial Christianity over the last two millennia, Newell invites us to re-think and re-set our relationship with the earth, with ourselves, and with the Divine. From this re-set invitation emerge new (yet ancient) ways of being human beings together, which can bring healing not only in our lives, but all around us. 

What we are we talking about when we talk about God? The God image that has dominated Western history is of an “old man in the sky.” Even if we know this image is metaphorical and laughable, it nevertheless dominates the Western imagination: God is “up there,” transcendent, and we are “down here.” In this episode, we discuss why how we talk about God is so important, because it influences how we think about all sorts of things. And we explore how cultivating a philosophy of the Divine as immanent—“right here”—can change our values and how we not only experience but also participate in the world around us.

There is perhaps no experience more visceral and soul-consuming than shame. And shame is opportunistic—it can enter our lives and bodies not only through things we’ve done, but by things done to us. Further, we can often feel absolutely powerless in the face of shame. But we do not have to resign ourselves to hopelessness. A life of flourishing of freedom is available. It requires courage and practices for engaging shame discharge. In this episode, we cover some simple—but not simplistic—practices for discharging shame and living in freedom, authenticity, and resilience.

Our culture is in crisis, revealed in skyrocketing rates of anxiety and depression, even (and especially) amongst the most comfortable and well-off. Dr. Anna Lembke, author of Dopamine Nation, diagnoses our cultural crisis as rooted, in part, in the "druggification" of our society. Specifically, she explains how addiction functions writ large across our culture through an over-abundance of dopamine triggers, utimately leading to dopamine deficit states—a state in which it is not possible to enjoy anything at all. Her answer? Lean into pain and discomfort. Her message is counter-cultural, but it may very well change your life.

In part 2 of a conversation with Dr. Stephen Backhouse, we explore how Christian Nationalism trains people to be anti-Christ. You cannot walk the way of Jesus—the way of non-violence and of caring for your neighbor, let alone your enemy—while abiding by the tenets of nationalism. Understanding these dynamics helps us not only understand our own lives, no matter our orientation to faith, and helps us make sense of the polarized world around us.

In this conversation with Dr. Stephen Backhouse, we explore how the philosophy of 19^th century Danish philosopher Søren Kierkegaard illuminates the dynamics of our own day. Specifically, how the phenomenon of Christian Nationalism—the fusing of Christian spirituality with the lust for power (which ultimately obliterates the former)—seems to recur in some shape or form in every era, and certainly our own. In recognizing this lust for power, which is antithetical to spirituality and certainly to the teaching of Jesus, we can transcend many traps and live not in fear but in courage, hope, and love.

We are often tempted to orient our lives around some sort of arrival point—enough money or fame or religion to give us certainty, to give us power, but flourishing life is about learning to live in the surrender of constant tension and balance. In this episode, we explore how balance underlies all of reality and how pursuing balance will lead us into practices that leave us in a state of awe, mystery, and unhurriedness.

In this new series, “Scripture, Science and Spirituality,” we will explore what it takes to flourish as human beings in the midst of a culture that is increasingly disconnected and despairing. Using the wisdom of the Judeo-Christian scripture as our guide, we will focus on the nature of desire, what actually satisfies our desire, and the practices it takes to thrive as human beings. In this first episode, we dive into a vision for living in balance and connection, as we avoid the ego temptations of mere appearance and the allure of false certitudes and ground our lives in courage, hope, and practices for sustained change and transformation.

Season 3 Part II will be dropping soon, with new episodes about spirituality and what it means to be fully human. In the meantime, learn out more about the 12-week Restoried Coaching that is launching in November. This coaching process will cover all the fundamental practices and disciplines of change and transformation and is designed to support you as you create something completely new in your life! More information at https://namingthereal.com/coaching/

In this follow-up to our series on Internal Family Systems, therapist Vanessa Trine takes us deeper into the IFS framework. She unpacks what IFS is as well as how understanding and implementing its core tenets can lead to a much fuller and whole-hearted experience of life—a life of deep meaning, purpose, and connection.

Megan Dietrick (meganraecoaching.com) is a Methodist worship director as well as a coach who helps people recover from religious-based trauma and cultures of fear. In this episode, which hits on a number of ideas previously discussed in this podcast (purity culture, faith deconstruction/reconstruction, a critique of evangelical Christianity), Megan brings a unique, hope-filled voice while not failing to name with unflinching honesty many of the failings of cultures that become guided by fear rather than love. What emerges in the conversation is hope for pursuing lives that transcend fear and trauma, and for building communities centered in hope and resilience.  

What if we are mistaken about what other people actually believe? Turns out...that’s often the case. In this episode, we explore the reality—and the implications—of collective illusions, which is the social phenomenon of people mis-perceiving what the majority actually thinks or believes. Following the work of Todd Rose and the think tank Populace, we dive into the ominous reality that collective illusions are proliferating, and what we can do to reverse the trend. The invitation that emerges is a beautiful one: to do the work of knowing others (and being known ourselves) in entirely new ways.

Dopamine is the brain’s reward chemical, crucial for regulating human motivation, desire, and focus. Yet never in human history have so many dopamine-delivery vehicles (from sugar to social media to online shopping) been so pervasive. We live in a dopamine-glutted world. And the overabundance of dopamine creates continual pitfalls of over-indulgence and addiction all around us. In this episode, we explore the neurobiology of dopamine and, following the work of Dr. Anna Lembke, the mindbody’s pain-pleasure balance. Because understanding this principle and  engaging core practices to keep your life in balance can radically change you...and help change the world.

We live in a hurried age, that’s obvious. And yet we still fail to grasp how imperative slowing down and living in unhurriedness is for everything that matters in life. In this episode, we explore why and how slowing down matters so much and what it opens up for us. And we explore six practices that you can engage to live in unhurriedness, even if your calendar remains full and busy. Because there’s great hope: you can be quite busy and yet become and remain absolutely unhurried in all things.

We live in a disconnected world—increasingly alienated from ourselves and our bodies, from the natural world, and from others. Much of this disconnection is catalyzed by hyper-individualism which sets self-expression above self-transcendence. This episode is about encountering the seeming intelligence of the universe which seems to be constantly inviting us into a life of deep connection. Along the way, we explore the world of trees, bees, and other stunning examples of interdepdence in the world around us, and the miracles of our mindbody wiring. What emerges is a pathway to transcending isolation and disconnection in favor of an entirely connected way of being alive as a human being.

Brandon sits down with one of his heroes to discuss the process of becoming a fully flourishing human, even when it involves walking through trauma and grief. An exploration of mindfulness, presence, the importance of sex, and the need to tell our stories. We start with the reality that we are never fully “healed,” but that life is an ongoing process of stepping into wholeness and healing. And we explore what that takes, in practical terms.  

Are you happy right now? And what do we even mean when we use the word "happy"? Our society has implicit notions of what happiness is and how we attain it, but often these notions are incomplete at best and backwards at worst. In this episode, we explore a rubric for happiness and some practical steps for becoming truly, wildly happy. 

When we think of the brain, what probably comes to mind (pun intentional) is our conscious thinking. And while our pre-frontal cortex and verbal processing is amazing, ninety-five percent of our intelligence is non-verbal, occurring outside of our conscious intelligence. In this episode we explore the “iceberg” model of brain functioning with its three layers (conscious, subconscious, and unconscious). And we explore how we can intentionally create space to receive the messages that our unconscious intelligence has for us. Because by bridging our conscious and unconscious, we can radically change our lives.

We tend to think of emotions as things that “just happen,” and there’s a lot of truth in that. But it’s also true that we have far more agency to cultivate and develop our emotional life in specific and stunning ways, changing the experience and direction of our lives. We don’t have to become stuck in emotions or live devoid of emotion. In this episode, we follow the work of Dr. Candace Pert and explore the physiology of emotions: that emotions are based in chemical realities grounded in “molecules of emotion”—neurotransmitters and neuropeptides. That this physicality is actually the basis of our spirituality. And that we have power to experience emotion in stunning ways which can ultimately help us change the world around us.