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    Negotiate With Anyone & Master The Secret of Persuasive Communication w/ Trial Lawyer Jefferson Fisher EP 1473

    By distancing ourselves from offensive words and consciously communicating our boundaries, we can prioritize our emotional well-being and create healthier interactions.

    enJuly 24, 2023

    About this Episode

    The Summit of Greatness is back! Buy your tickets today – summitofgreatness.com – 

    Jefferson Fisher is a board-certified Texas trial lawyer and founder of Fisher Firm. With his extensive experience as a trial lawyer, Jefferson understands the art of persuading and communicating effectively in high-conflict situations, and is one of the most sought after names in functional thinking for modern day communication. Known for his practical videos and authentic presence, Jefferson has amassed over 5 million social media followers in one year—all from the driver's seat of his car. Jefferson is on a mission to be a messenger of positivity in the world and help people learn to talk to each other again—one conversation at a time.

    In this episode you will learn,

    • How to have more control in an argument
    • How to make your words more powerful
    • How to be more likable
    • Three passive phrases to avoid
    • How to handle people who waste your time

    For more information go to www.lewishowes.com/1473

    For more Greatness text PODCAST to +1 (614) 350-3960

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    🔑 Key Takeaways

    • By aligning our thoughts, preparing ourselves mentally, and staying true to ourselves, we can effectively navigate difficult conversations and achieve successful outcomes.
    • How you handle yourself in challenging situations can greatly impact how others perceive you and ultimately judge your credibility, so it's important to approach difficult circumstances with intention and avoid becoming defensive.
    • Maintaining credibility and honesty is essential as it can have significant consequences both personally and professionally. Recognize that the issues presented in a conversation may not be the real issues and strive to connect rather than escalate.
    • Taking a step back, responding instead of reacting, and prioritizing understanding over winning are crucial in resolving conflicts and fostering positive interactions.
    • Apologize sincerely, acknowledge mistakes, manage emotions effectively, and communicate openly to resolve issues and strengthen relationships in both personal and professional settings.
    • When trying to persuade others, focus on creating a win-win situation by framing requests in a positive light, addressing concerns, and approaching conversations with calmness and confidence.
    • Building a strong social media following can boost credibility and opportunities, but it also brings pressure and stress. Staying authentic and true to oneself is crucial to overcome imposter syndrome and maintain mental well-being.
    • Panic attacks can affect anyone, regardless of their perceived level of success. Seeking support and understanding is crucial in overcoming mental health struggles.
    • Building a strong support system is crucial for our mental and emotional well-being; trusted friends and loved ones can offer support and understanding without judgment, helping us navigate difficult times.
    • Having a support system and practicing self-care is crucial for maintaining good mental and physical health, especially during challenging times. It is also important to identify and address negative habits and develop protective strategies for emotional well-being.
    • By distancing ourselves from offensive words and consciously communicating our boundaries, we can prioritize our emotional well-being and create healthier interactions.
    • Effective communication involves silence, acknowledging other viewpoints, and choosing the right timing to address issues or disagreements for a productive conversation.
    • Asking for what you want is crucial because if you don't ask, you won't get it. Effective communication and personal connection can greatly increase your chances of success.
    • Embrace who you truly are, acknowledge and learn from your mistakes, and cultivate empathy and emotional expression for personal growth and positive relationships.
    • Kindness is valuable and should be extended to all. Being open about struggles allows for growth. Leaving a legacy of wisdom and spreading joy defines greatness.

    📝 Podcast Summary

    The Power of Preparation and Self-Awareness in Sticky Situations

    Preparation and self-awareness are crucial in sticky situations. The speaker, Jefferson Fisher, shares his experience as a young trial lawyer handling a complex case by himself. He initially felt overwhelmed and defensive when facing a challenging expert witness. However, he learned from this situation and made a change on the second day of trial. Instead of reacting in the moment, he aligned his thoughts and prepared himself mentally before entering the courtroom. By focusing on being true to himself and avoiding overextending himself, he was able to stay calm and handle the situation more effectively. This demonstrates the importance of mindset and preparation in navigating difficult conversations and achieving successful outcomes.

    The Importance of Behavior and Presentation in Various Situations

    How you behave and present yourself is crucial in any situation, whether it's in a courtroom, everyday conversations, or your career. It doesn't matter if you have the skills, credentials, or facts in your favor. If you come across as a jerk or unlikable, your case or opportunities may be compromised. The way you handle difficult situations, respond to criticism, and maintain composure can make a significant difference in how others perceive you and ultimately judge your credibility. It is essential to approach challenging circumstances with intention, not allowing defensiveness to cloud judgments, as this can lead to losing credibility and potentially losing the case.

    The Power of Credibility and Honesty in Conversation

    Credibility and honesty are crucial in any conversation or situation. The conversation between Lewis Howes and Jefferson Fisher highlights the consequences of losing credibility and the importance of staying true to oneself. Fisher shares a story about a case where the plaintiff's credibility was shattered due to contradicting evidence. This led to a negative outcome for her case, despite her being the victim. The conversation also emphasizes the idea that the issues people present in a conversation are often not the real issues and are influenced by external factors. Recognizing this and using it as an opportunity to connect rather than escalate can lead to more positive outcomes in personal and professional relationships.

    The Power of Perspective and Understanding in Conflict Resolution

    Taking a step back and gaining perspective is crucial in resolving conflicts and maintaining healthy communication. By creating space and clarity, we can choose to respond instead of react, showing an effort to understand the other person's perspective. It is natural to feel triggered and take things personally, but we have the power to put down that baggage and not let it affect us. Taking things personally often stems from a lack of grace towards others. To successfully navigate arguments, we must prioritize understanding over winning. Knowing the end goal and finding ways to heal emotional wounds are essential in resolving conflicts and fostering positive interactions.

    Taking accountability for behavior to heal and resolve conflicts

    Taking accountability for one's behavior is crucial in healing and resolving arguments or disagreements. Instead of blaming the other person for their actions, it is important to apologize sincerely and acknowledge the mistakes made. This approach is effective not only in intimate relationships but also in professional settings like trial law. Managing emotions well in court is essential for credibility and success, while expressing and dealing with emotions in a safe environment like home is important for personal well-being. In arguments at home, quick apologies and open communication help to resolve issues efficiently. By apologizing fast and avoiding assumptions, arguments can be ended swiftly and relationships can be strengthened.

    The Art of Persuasion: Creating a Win-Win Atmosphere

    When trying to persuade, influence, or enroll others in getting what you want, it is important to give them a reason to want to give it to you. This should come from a place of making them happy to do so, rather than making them feel like they've lost something in a negotiation. By couching and framing your requests in a way that feels like the other person has gained something, you can create a collaborative atmosphere that benefits both parties. Additionally, using tactical empathy and addressing the issues and concerns that the other person may have can help build trust and create a more favorable outcome. Lastly, when engaging in challenging conversations, it is crucial to avoid defensiveness and instead approach the conversation with a calm and confident demeanor, using less words to convey your message effectively.

    The Impact of Social Media: Benefits and Challenges

    Having a large social media following can bring both positive and negative effects. Jefferson Fisher has experienced significant growth in his law firm and opportunities because of his social media presence. It has helped him gain exposure and credibility, with judges and opposing counsel being aware of his videos. However, with a larger following comes increased pressure and stress. Jefferson feels the need to provide valuable advice and avoid giving bad advice, which can lead to feelings of imposter syndrome. Additionally, the sudden success and viral videos caused Jefferson to experience panic attacks and feelings of overwhelm. Despite these challenges, he emphasizes the importance of staying true to oneself and sharing authentic experiences to prevent feeling like an imposter.

    The Universality of Panic Attacks: Demystifying Mental Health Struggles

    Panic attacks can happen to anyone, regardless of their perceived level of success or control over their life. Jefferson Fisher initially believed that panic attacks were only for people who didn't have their life together, but his experience showed him otherwise. Panic attacks can be physically intense and emotionally overwhelming, causing symptoms like uncontrollable shaking, heart palpitations, sweating, dizziness, and intense fear. Even after receiving medical confirmation that he was not having a heart attack, Jefferson continued to experience panic attacks for several days. This conversation highlights the importance of recognizing that mental health struggles can affect anyone, and seeking support and understanding is crucial in overcoming them.

    Listening to Our Bodies: The Importance of Paying Attention to Signals of Discomfort

    Our bodies have a way of signaling when something is not right, and it's important to listen to those signals. Even if we have a strong mental game and can convince ourselves that everything is fine, our bodies often know better. Ignoring these signals can lead to feelings of isolation and experiencing difficult times alone. It's crucial to have a small circle of trusted friends or loved ones who can provide support and understanding without judgment. These are the people we can rely on to share our raw and unfiltered thoughts and emotions. Building these connections is essential for our well-being at every stage of life.

    The Importance of Support and Self-Care for Well-being

    Having someone to confide in and share our thoughts and struggles with is essential at every stage of life. Without this outlet, we end up carrying the burden on our own, which can have negative consequences on our mental and physical well-being. It's important to have people who understand and support us, especially during overwhelming and demanding times. Feeling isolated can lead to a sense of overwhelm and an inability to cope effectively. Additionally, it is crucial to acknowledge and address negative habits or behaviors that contribute to our stress levels. Taking care of our physical and mental health can significantly improve our overall well-being. Finally, developing psychological strategies to protect ourselves from negative influences or attacks can prevent them from affecting our emotional state.

    Protecting Your Emotional Well-being Through Separation and Boundaries

    Separating ourselves from offensive or hurtful words and not taking them personally can be a powerful way to maintain emotional well-being. By visualizing a separate entity for our ego or negative thoughts, such as a trash can or a different language, we can distance ourselves from the negativity and not let it affect us. This practice allows us to sift through the words and focus on what truly matters, while discarding the rest. Additionally, creating boundaries and consciously communicating our worth to others, especially in relationships and careers, is essential. Assertively stating that we are not interested in engaging in offensive or negative exchanges can be a powerful move that maintains our self-respect and sets the tone for healthier interactions.

    Power moves for successful conversations.

    Effective communication in conversations requires strategic moves. Three power moves for successful conversations were discussed. The first is using silence as a response. By staying silent instead of reacting defensively, it creates discomfort for the other person and often leads them to regret their statement. The second power move is acknowledging that the other person's viewpoint may have some validity, even if you don't fully agree. This humility can diffuse tension and keep the conversation open. The third power move is choosing the right timing to address issues or disagreements. Holding off until emotions have settled allows for a more productive and controlled conversation. Starting with mindful silence and careful consideration can greatly impact the outcome of any conversation.

    The Power of Asking: Get What You Want with "What's the Chance?

    Using the phrase "What's the chance?" can be a powerful tool to get what you want or need. Lewis Howes shares how he utilizes this phrase in various situations to negotiate discounts, upgrades, and collaborations. He emphasizes the importance of asking for what you want because if you don't ask, you won't get it. By using this approach, he has been able to enroll people in helping him achieve his goals. Additionally, Jefferson Fisher adds that acknowledging and connecting with the person you're interacting with on an individual level can enhance your chances of success. This conversation highlights the value of effective communication and the potential positive outcomes that can result from it.

    Embracing Authenticity, Making Mistakes, and Practicing Empathy

    Being authentic to oneself is crucial. Trying to be someone else only leads to an incorrect path. It is important to embrace who you truly are and not pretend to be more or less than that. Another lesson is that it's okay to make mistakes. Growing up with high expectations and pressure can be overwhelming, but it's essential to understand that everyone makes mistakes and it's part of the learning process. Finally, the conversation highlights the importance of empathy and emotional expression. The speaker's experience with his son teaches him the value of validating emotions and allowing oneself to be vulnerable. These three lessons serve as valuable insights for personal growth and positive relationships.

    The Power of Kindness and Authenticity

    Kindness is an everlasting value that holds immense worth. Regardless of the time or circumstances, being kind to others is something that people will always appreciate and cherish. It is emphasized that kindness should be extended to everybody without any exceptions. Moreover, the significance of being vulnerable and open about one's struggles is highlighted, as it allows for healing and personal growth. The ability to express oneself authentically and without fear of judgment is a liberating experience. Lastly, the key lesson of leaving behind a legacy of wisdom and spreading joy to others is emphasized as the definition of greatness.

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