Nicole Avant ON: Why You Should Let Yourself Cry & Ways to Channel Deep Grief Into Grit and Gratitude

Showing up for others is a powerful act of service. Nicole Avant's book, "Think You'll Be Happy," emphasizes the importance of honoring the people we love and passing on their teachings and wisdom. Jay Shetty expresses gratitude for Nicole's book and highlights how showing up for someone goes beyond social media likes or surface-level interactions. It involves taking the time and effort to truly connect with others, even when it may be inconvenient or challenging. This reminder serves as a valuable lesson for all of us, as we navigate our own soul journeys and recognize that everyone's experiences and needs are different.

We need to acknowledge the importance of repairing our souls. Nicole Avant emphasized the significance of understanding that our souls go through times of repair and healing. It's essential to recognize and own the fact that we're in repair without feeling ashamed or hiding it. By allowing ourselves to be in repair, we open the door for healing and growth. Moreover, the conversation about the human spirit and the soul is missing in society, and Jay Shetty's approach to discussing these topics is refreshing and much-needed. We should strive to move past what we do and focus on who we are as individuals. Helping others on their soul evolution and sharing our blessings creates a powerful impact in the world. It's crucial to remember that there is enough success and abundance for everyone as each person has their own unique journey and mission.

The impact we have on others' lives goes beyond our actions and possessions. It is about how we make people feel. Nicole Avant shares the importance of leaving a positive stamp on humanity through small actions like notes, phone calls, texts, and emails that show love and care. These seemingly simple gestures can mean everything to someone and make them feel significant and seen. The feeling of being loved and important is something we all yearn for. Furthermore, the tragic event of her mother being shot reminds us of the unpredictable nature of life and the importance of cherishing our relationships and expressing our love to others while we can.

Life can change in an instant, and we must be prepared to adapt and find strength in the face of adversity. Nicole Avant's experience of her mother being shot and ultimately passing away showcases the suddenness and shock that can come with life-altering events. Despite the unimaginable pain and trauma, Nicole found the courage to step up and take care of her family, channeling the strength and resilience of her mother. She realized the importance of focusing on who she wanted to be in that moment, rather than solely focusing on what she needed to do. Through this experience, Nicole learned the power of taking things one minute or even one moment at a time, and the importance of self-check-ins and finding ways to cope with overwhelming grief.

Finding peace and courage in the face of pain and loss can come from simple but intentional actions. Nicole Avant's ability to navigate her grief was influenced by her mother's belief in the power of vibrations and energy. By consciously choosing to tune into positive channels and embodying qualities such as courage, peace, and helpfulness, Nicole found clarity and strength. She learned that courage isn't about being fearless, but rather taking action despite fear. Nicole also discovered the healing power of rituals, such as listening to her mother's favorite music and indulging in relaxing baths. These practices helped her connect with her mother's essence and fostered a sense of healing and connection.

Even after losing a loved one, their energy and presence can still be felt. While the physical form may change, the love and connection remain. It is a healing process to engage with their memory, to imagine how they would respond and continue to have an impact on our lives. Honoring our parents, regardless of their behavior, can be achieved by living a full and significant life, using the lessons and tools they have given us, or by choosing to be different and break the cycle of abuse or neglect. Ultimately, we can learn from both positive and negative examples in our lives to shape our own character and actions.

Our interactions with others shape who we become. Nicole Avant shared how her diverse work experiences taught her valuable lessons about human nature. Through jobs like selling shoes and working at a dry cleaner, she witnessed both the best and worst in people. These experiences made her sensitive to how others are treated and influenced her to be kind and engaging towards service workers. Similarly, Avant's stepdaughter, Sarah, learned from her own waitressing experience and now actively shows compassion towards servers. The key lesson here is that by observing and learning from our interactions with others, we can choose to be better and more considerate individuals.

The power of choice is a fundamental aspect of our lives. Despite the challenges and tragedies that we may face, we have the freedom to choose how we live and think. Blaming the creator for the choices people make is not productive or fulfilling. Instead, it is important to rely on faith in something bigger and greater than ourselves. We cannot control everything in the universe, but by accepting and embracing life, we can avoid becoming bitter and stagnant. Forgiveness is a crucial part of this journey, as it allows us to let go of negative emotions and not let them consume us. Looking forward to tomorrow and finding something to look forward to helps us stay hopeful and maintain a positive mindset. Grief is a testament to our capacity for love, and it should be celebrated as such.

Shifting our focus from the end to the life is essential when dealing with grief. Nicole Avant's mother's death was shocking, but her life was beautiful, and that is what she chooses to celebrate. It is easy for our minds to fixate on the end and the loss, but we have the power to choose what we focus on. Instead of obsessing over the last moments, we can choose to remember the good times and great memories that bring smiles to our faces. It is a choice we must make every day. By shifting our focus to the years of life and the impact our loved ones had, we can move forward with both the pain and the beauty.

In the midst of tragedy and grief, it is important to focus on preventing similar incidents from happening to others. Nicole Avant, despite her own pain and the injustice her family experienced, chose to advocate for the safety and well-being of others. She recognized the potential harm that the perpetrator could cause to other families and made it her purpose to ensure that no one else would go through the same pain. This selfless act of looking beyond personal grievances and seeking justice for others is a powerful demonstration of compassion and empathy. It serves as a reminder to approach difficult situations with understanding and to strive for positive change in the face of adversity.

No matter how much darkness we may find ourselves in, there is always a small crack of light to hold onto. Nicole Avant's story exemplifies this, as she faced the trauma and devastation of her mother's death and the subsequent home invasion. Instead of succumbing to the question of "Why me?", she shifted her perspective to "Why not me?" She recognized that bad things happen to good people all the time and that it is part of the human experience. By embracing this truth and finding the small moments of connection and support, Nicole was able to prevent the destruction of her spirit. This serves as a reminder that even in the darkest moments, the tiniest glimmer of hope can guide us towards healing and resilience.

Finding light in the darkness is essential for moving forward. Nicole Avant's story of loss and grief highlights the importance of actively seeking out moments of beauty, even during the toughest times. Despite feeling surrounded by darkness, she intentionally looked for glimpses of light, whether it was sitting in her yard and staring at a flower or watching the sunset every day. Connecting with nature and recognizing the cycles of life provided her with hope and reassurance that she would rise again. This takeaway emphasizes the power of resilience and the ability to find strength in the face of adversity.

We have the responsibility to honor our ancestors and the sacrifices they made for us. Nicole Avant's parents instilled in her the importance of using her freedom wisely and appreciating the rights and blessings she has. They taught her that it's not just about the loss and death, but about the art of living and making the most of the dash between the dates. Despite facing Tragedy and adversity, her parents made sure she understood the lessons and the importance of being aware of the world around her. We too can learn from this and remember our ancestry, honor their legacy, and make the most of the opportunities we have.

Despite the pain and trauma experienced by different cultures throughout history, there is still a capacity for resilience, goodness, and interconnectedness. Nicole Avant's parents instilled in her a deep appreciation for every culture and the understanding that despite our differences, we are all connected energetically. They taught her the importance of being good and doing good, even in the face of rudeness or injustice. Taking the high road and refraining from seeking revenge not only avoids perpetuating negative energy but also allows for personal growth and renewal. Through her own experiences and emotions, Nicole reminds us that we are all a work in progress, continuously repairing and renewing ourselves along the way.

Emotions, including crying, serve a purpose in healing and moving forward. Nicole Avant highlights the importance of crying as a means of releasing emotions and gaining clarity on how certain experiences impact us. Crying allows us to honor and acknowledge our emotions, ultimately leading to healing and growth. Furthermore, Nicole emphasizes that stagnant energy can hinder new energy from entering our lives, highlighting the significance of processing and releasing emotions. This conversation teaches us the importance of embracing our emotions and using them as a tool for self-awareness and healing, while also reminding us to extend love, understanding, and support to those who are grieving.

Gratitude and faith can help us find joy even in the darkest times. Nicole Avant shares her appreciation for her parents' support and her friends who showed up for her. She emphasizes the power of choosing to be glad and rejoice, even when circumstances don't naturally inspire joy. Nicole's grandmother's prayer, "today is the day the Lord has made and I choose to be glad and rejoice in it," became a mantra for her, giving her a solid platform to stand on during difficult times. Additionally, Nicole's repeated affirmation of standing in her faith helped create stability despite feeling like she was standing on quicksand. Ultimately, this teaches us the importance of gratitude, choice, and faith in finding happiness and healing.