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    8 Ways to Decide Which Friendships to Invest In & Which Friendships to Let Go Of

    enMarch 22, 2024

    About this Episode

    Do you feel tired of small talk and no real connection?

    Do you want to start building genuine friendships?

    Today, Jay talks about the eight simple tips to help you decide which friends to keep close and which ones you might need to step back from. You'll learn how to spot friends who make you happy and help you grow, and notice the ones who might be bringing you down.

    Let's understand the impact of the company you keep, the power of focusing on yourself, and the wisdom in discerning relationships meant for a season, reason, or lifetime. Jay unpacks the value of tough conversations and learns to distinguish between fleeting friendships and those destined for depth. There is strength in setting boundaries and the transformative experience of shared challenges. 

    In this episode, you’ll learn:

    How to choose your long-term friends

    How to deepen new friendships

    How to be the right friends to others

    This episode is your guide to nurturing genuine connections and fostering personal growth in a world craving authenticity.

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    00:00 Intro

    01:00 Who Do You Spend Time With?

    04:05 Focus on Yourself

    05:06 Season, Reason, or a Lifetime

    10:29 Is Repairing a Broken Relationship Worth It?

    13:24 Why Do We Need These Hard Conversations?

    15:58 Not Every Friendship Has a Future

    18:32 Shallow Conversations Don’t Lead to Genuine Connection

    21:26 Barriers Keep Others Out, Boundaries Keep Us Safe

    23:08 If You Don’t Fit In, That’s Okay

    25:04 Doing Difficult Things Together 

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    🔑 Key Takeaways

    • Herbs like slippery elm bark and ginger root promote digestive health. CVS offers a 20% discount on Easter essentials with pickup orders. Set boundaries in deeper relationships for meaningful interactions.
    • Recognize that relationships bring unique experiences and lessons, and effectively communicate to deepen connections
    • Recognize and accept people's roles, learn from experiences, prepare for future relationships, and protect from harm. Everyone has a unique impact.
    • Invest in relationships that matter, repair those worth it, and cherish the ones that last a lifetime. Growth and learning are the true values of relationships, not expectations.
    • Communicate based on beliefs and values, understand impact on others, and let go with love and positivity for personal growth
    • Prioritize individual connections and invest time in meaningful conversations to foster deeper friendships. Practices like herbal remedies and traveling can contribute to personal growth and wellness.
    • Prioritize 75% of time for one-on-one relationships, set healthy boundaries for self-care and meaningful connections.
    • Focus on the positive and look for ways to help each other grow, rather than dwelling on past faults to repair and deepen relationships.
    • Listen to 'On Purpose' podcast for Calm discount, CVS Health expands mental health services, and Booking.com offers accommodations for all preferences to prioritize mental wellness

    📝 Podcast Summary

    Herbs for digestive health and Easter savings

    Herbs, like slippery elm bark and ginger root, play a significant role in maintaining digestive health. These natural remedies, offered by Nature's Way, can help alleviate discomfort and promote overall wellness. Easter is also approaching, and CVS is offering savings on Easter essentials with a 20% discount on pickup orders. Meanwhile, planning vacations has become a tradition for some, with Booking.com providing a wide range of options to suit various preferences and making the booking process seamless. However, in deeper relationships, it's essential to set boundaries instead of barriers to foster meaningful interactions and avoid missing out on potentially rewarding connections. As we grow older, we become more mindful of the people we invest our time and energy in, seeking deeper, more meaningful relationships beyond superficial conversations.

    People come into our lives for different reasons and lengths of time

    We all experience feelings of disconnection and loneliness, especially in today's world. It's important to recognize that people come into our lives for different reasons and lengths of time. Some are there for a season, providing joy and growth during a specific period. Others may be there for a reason, helping us through a difficult time or teaching us valuable lessons. And some people may be in our lives for a lifetime, providing constant support and companionship. To navigate these relationships, it's crucial to understand and articulate our own emotions and needs. By effectively communicating with others, we increase their ability to understand us and form deeper connections. Remember, not all relationships are meant to last forever, but each one brings unique experiences and lessons to our lives. So, take the time to reflect on the people in your life and appreciate the role they play in your journey.

    Understanding People's Roles in Our Lives

    People come and go in our lives in various ways and for different reasons. Some are seasonal, some teach us valuable lessons through challenging experiences, and others are there for the long haul. It's essential to recognize and accept each person's role and not expect them to be something they're not. By understanding the reasons behind people's presence in our lives, we can learn from our experiences, prepare ourselves for future relationships, and protect ourselves from potential harm. Remember, everyone has a unique role to play, and their impact on us can be significant, even if it's only for a short time.

    Understanding the value of relationships

    People in our lives play different roles and it's important to understand the value of each relationship. Some people come and go, while others stay for a lifetime. When considering repairing an old relationship, it's essential to ask ourselves why we want to do so and what broke the connection. The repair process will be uncomfortable, but the belief that it's worth the effort can lead to positive outcomes. In current relationships, being honest and vulnerable can also lead to growth and improvement. Remember, the value of a relationship lies in the growth and learning it brings, not in the expectation of a certain reaction. So, invest in the relationships that matter, repair those that are worth it, and cherish the ones that last a lifetime.

    Be authentic and self-aware in relationships

    Authenticity is key in maintaining and rebuilding relationships. Having conversations out of expectation or desire for a specific response can lead to disappointment. Instead, we should communicate based on our beliefs and values, treating others as we wish to be treated. Self-awareness is crucial in understanding how our actions and words impact others, and it's essential to recognize that not every relationship needs to have a future. Celebrating past experiences and letting go with love and positivity can lead to personal growth and emotional well-being. By focusing on authenticity and self-awareness, we can foster meaningful connections and navigate relationships with intention and compassion.

    Deepen Connections and Personal Growth

    When we try to connect with many people in a fast, shallow, and simple way, our relationships become less deep and less meaningful. This can lead to small talk exchanges that lack substance and leave us feeling disconnected. Instead, prioritizing individual connections and investing time in meaningful conversations can help foster deeper, more meaningful friendships. Additionally, practices like herbal remedies and traveling can contribute to personal growth and wellness. Companies like CVS Health and Nature's Way offer resources for healthcare and wellness, while platforms like Booking.com provide opportunities for exploration and self-discovery. By focusing on these deeper connections and personal growth, we can enrich our lives and build stronger relationships.

    Balancing group and one-on-one interactions for deeper connections

    Building and maintaining meaningful relationships requires a balance between group interactions and one-on-one conversations. While group settings can be exciting and fun, they often don't allow for the depth and connection that comes from one-on-one interactions. Therefore, it's essential to prioritize one-to-one time with the people we care about, aiming for 75% of our time. Sometimes, we may have disconnected from people due to uncomfortable conversations or unwanted drama, leading us to build barriers instead of setting healthy boundaries. However, avoiding these relationships can prevent us from experiencing the potential depth and richness they could bring. Instead, consider setting boundaries that prioritize self-care while also allowing for meaningful connections. Remember, don't let fear or discomfort keep you from potentially rewarding relationships.

    Growing apart and feeling disconnected

    Growth and disconnection can go hand in hand, but it's important not to let disconnection turn into bitterness. When we feel like we don't fit in or have grown apart from someone, it's a sign of growth and evolution. However, if we become bitter and focus on faults and complaints, we risk getting stuck in a negative space. Instead, we should view difficult experiences as opportunities to build stronger bonds with others. By helping each other through hard times, we create deep and meaningful relationships that last. So, if you're feeling disconnected, remember that it's a natural part of growth. Focus on the positive and look for ways to help each other grow, rather than dwelling on past faults. Building bridges, not boundaries, is the key to repairing and deepening relationships.

    Exploring mental wellness resources

    Mental wellness is crucial for everyone, and there are accessible and enjoyable resources available to help manage stress, anxiety, and improve overall mental health. The podcast "On Purpose" recommends Calm, a platform offering a wide range of mental wellness content from experts and renowned meditation teachers. Listeners of the podcast can get a 40% discount by visiting Calm.com/J. Additionally, CVS Health is expanding its health services to include virtual care, mental health support, and in-home evaluations. Lastly, for those planning travels, Booking.com offers a wide range of accommodation options to suit every preference, making the process of booking a breeze. Remember, taking care of your mental health is essential, and there are resources and tools available to make the journey easier.

    Recent Episodes from On Purpose with Jay Shetty

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    With Love and Gratitude,

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    00:00 Intro

    03:05 The Difference Between a Psychic and a Medium

    06:59 We All Have Psychic Abilities

    09:50 Discovering Your Own Ability

    17:31 My Brainwave Patterns Are Different

    22:04 The Psychic Abilities We Aren’t Aware Of

    32:17 Weakened Disconnection to Our Inner Voice

    35:50 Standing Firm with Your Moments of Knowing

    40:41 How to Reconnect with Disconnected Relationships?

    49:32 What Does Infatuation Mean?

    55:27 Vibrations of Love

    01:04:44 Living in the Present

    01:10:26 How Important Are Tangible Signs

    01:17:02 The Answers is Within Us

    01:23:14 Being Still Within Yourself

    01:25:19 Death Is Not A Dead End

    01:35:02 How to Connect with Your Soul?

    01:39:20 Getting Into Your Light Energy

    01:42:44 Laura on Final Five

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    Today, Jay questions the traditional notion that a "good person" is one who never says no. This outdated definition leads to a lack of boundaries, which ultimately harms personal well-being. By redefining what it means to be a good person, one can recognize the importance of investing in themselves and navigating difficult conversations.

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    How to NO effectively

    How to communicate boundaries clearly

    How to handle other people's reactions

    How to build confidence in setting boundaries

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    With Love and Gratitude,

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    01:31 Boundaries Are Often Tough to Set

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    09:05 #2: Clearly Communicate Your Boundaries

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    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    25:05 Worst Thing About Being Me

    29:11 Dealing with Online Hate

    31:36 She’s Not My Mom Anymore

    37:46 Processing and Dealing with Grief

    43:36 Resenting and Forgiving My Father

    48:46 The Phone Call with My Dad

    55:24 Let’s Understand People’s Stories

    57:59 Self Care is a Process

    01:02:15 My Father Was Sick

    01:05:07 Make Home in Your Childhood Community

    01:10:29 The Love to Entertain People

    01:18:07 What Would Little T be Proud Of?

    01:20:24 Childhood Dreams

    01:25:09 TIffany on Final Five

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    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    01:26:31 What’s Next for Matthew?    

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    With Love and Gratitude,
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    01:26:04 Orlando Bloom on Final Five

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    How to consider financial implications

    How to navigate emotional intimacy

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    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

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    00:00 Intro

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    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Benny Blanco: 3 Ways to Stop Caring About Failure & Get Out of Your Own Way

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    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

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    44:49 Do You Love to Cook?

    47:20 Do You Eat Healthy?

    48:47 Finding Comfort in Food

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    56:40 Friendships Built Over the Years

    59:19 Multigenerational Friendships

    01:03:44 Better Relationship After Divorce

    01:05:52 Benny on Final Five   

    01:15:57 What’s Your Vice?

    01:17:53 Do You Take Supplements?

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Why Your Self Worth is Keeping You Stuck & How to Stop Sabotaging Your Personal Growth With Jamie Kern Lima

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    In this interview, you'll learn:

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    How to distinguish confidence from self-worth

    How to handle rejection

    How to overcome self-doubt

    How to remain authentic

    Together, let's learn how to distinguish your worth from external validation, turn rejection into a stepping stone, and live authentically.

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

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    00:00 Intro

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    10:04 Confusing Confidence with Self Worth

    17:37 Your Weight Impacts Your Worth is a Lie 

    24:03 What Has Self Doubt Cost You?

    31:25 How to Change Your Relationship with Rejection

    37:02 The 4-Part R to Reframe Rejection

    44:00 You Need This Today

    48:13 Which Lie Are You Trying to Unlearn? 

    56:32 Authenticity Alone Doesn’t Guarantee Success

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