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    8 Steps for Overcoming Fear of Judgment & 3 Key Questions to Level Up the Next Three Months (90 Day Check In)

    enApril 05, 2024

    About this Episode

    How have your goals changed since January? 

    What's your next step for improvement in the coming 90 days?

    This episode isn't just a conversation; it's an invitation to dive deep into your thoughts, feelings, and aspirations. Jay discusses the tough questions about identity, authenticity, and personal growth, guiding you through a process of self-discovery and transformation. You'll find insights and strategies to help you understand who you truly are and how to align your life with your deepest values. Whether you're looking to break free from the fear of judgment, understand your true desires, or simply get a clearer picture of where you're headed, this is the ultimate guide to your first 90-day check in.

    In this episode, you'll learn:

    How to overcome the fear of judgment

    How to be your true self

    How to handle external pressure

    If you're ready to challenge the status quo and redefine your sense of self, let's uncover the power of self-reflection and the beauty of becoming who you truly are. 

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    00:00 Intro

    01:03 Why Live Your Years in Quarters

    03:11 The Hardest Challenge Today

    05:12 #1: What Is the Most Difficult Judgment You’re Afraid Of?

    07:00 #2: Who Would You Be If You Didn’t Worry What People Would Think About You?

    07:57 #3: What Would You Do If You Didn’t Worry About What People Think Of You?

    13:47 What Did You Use to Value You Don’t Value Anymore?

    16:58 Attachment and Aversion Are Two Sides of the Same Coin

    21:07 3 Questions You Need to Ask Yourself

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    🔑 Key Takeaways

    • From culture and trends to history and self-discovery, podcasts cater to diverse audiences with unique content. Regular progress measurement is crucial for personal growth and success.
    • Identify and address fears of judgment to overcome them and progress in personal and professional growth.
    • To live our best lives, we must focus on being true to ourselves and expressing ourselves authentically, rather than worrying about others' judgments or expectations.
    • Focus on self-discovery to achieve greater fulfillment and success, as others spend minimal time thinking about us
    • Podcasts like Best of Both Worlds, Stories from the Village of Nothing Much, and The Bright Side promote self-reflection, introspection, and finding joy in the present moment to help listeners navigate life's challenges.
    • Accepting and celebrating the contradictions within ourselves unlocks new possibilities and leads to a more authentic and fulfilling life
    • Recognize the complexity and layers within ourselves and others to expand perspective and live more fully. Practice observing the world with an open mind.
    • Identify one addition and subtraction to enhance your life, overcome internal blocks, and make 2024 great
    • Raising personal stakes can motivate growth and success, while reducing stress and burnout
    • Ruthie's Table 4 podcast offers unique access to thought-provoking discussions with renowned figures, providing valuable insights and inspiration.

    📝 Podcast Summary

    Exploring Different Podcast Genres and Themes

    Podcasts can provide various forms of entertainment and education for different audiences. Danielle Robey and Simone Boyce introduced The Bright Side, a daily podcast focusing on culture, trends, inspiration, and more, while JV introduced Bedtime History, a series of relaxing history stories with inspirational messages, and Koala Moon, which revolutionized bedtimes with original kids' stories and sleep meditations. Robert Greene's daily law emphasizes the importance of self-discovery and becoming one's true self. The highest performers in life and business measure progress regularly, and it's essential to start living our years in quarters to maximize personal growth and success.

    Confronting Fear of Judgment

    Our perception of how others perceive us significantly impacts our actions and decisions. Fear of judgment can prevent us from pursuing our goals and dreams. During this quarter one check-in, it's essential to identify the most difficult judgment we're afraid of and confront it head-on. By acknowledging and addressing these fears, we can overcome them and move forward in our personal and professional growth. Remember, we are not what we think we are or what others think we are, but rather what we believe others think we are. This realization can help us break free from the fear of judgment and make progress towards our goals.

    Overcoming Fear of Judgment

    Fear of judgment from others can hold us back from living our best lives and being our authentic selves. We often predict negative judgments and limit ourselves as a result. To overcome this, it's important to consider who we would be if we didn't worry about what others think. We might discover that we would be kinder, more loving, more empathetic, more bold, and more courageous. Our identities are often based on positions, possessions, and people, and we can get caught up in what others think during transitions in these areas. To break free, we need to focus on being true to ourselves and expressing ourselves authentically, rather than trying to live up to others' expectations.

    Discover your true nature

    We often focus too much on what others think of us and neglect asking ourselves who we truly are and what we want for ourselves. According to the ancient Greek poet Pindar, we are all born with a unique makeup and tendencies that define us. However, many people lose sight of this and conform to others' expectations, wearing a mask that hides their true nature. Robert Greene's daily law encourages us to learn who we really are and become individuals and masters of our own lives. We spend very little time thinking about what others should do with their lives, yet we often assume they spend a significant amount of time thinking about us. In reality, people spend only a small percentage of their time thinking about us, making it essential to focus on our own growth and becoming who we truly are. By doing so, we can achieve greater fulfillment and success in all areas of our lives.

    Exploring Self-Reflection and Joy through Podcasts

    It's essential to prioritize self-reflection amidst the constant influx of external information and distractions. Laura Vanderkamp and Sarah Hart Unger, hosts of the Best of Both Worlds podcast, encourage listeners to focus on their own thoughts, identities, and goals. Meanwhile, Katherine Nikolai, the creator of the Stories from the Village of Nothing Much podcast, invites listeners to find joy and connection in the simple pleasures of everyday life. The Bright Side podcast, hosted by Danielle Robey and Simone Boyce, offers a daily dose of joy and lightheartedness to help listeners navigate the world's challenges. Overall, these podcasts emphasize the importance of self-care, introspection, and finding happiness in the present moment.

    Embrace the paradoxical nature of your identity

    We are all paradoxical beings, and trying to deny or suppress any part of ourselves limits our creativity, energy, and personal growth. As shared in a past conversation on the Man Enough podcast, the speaker recognized her own paradoxical nature by acknowledging that she no longer values being understood by others and instead embraces the complexity and contradictions within herself. By accepting and celebrating the various aspects of who we are, we can unlock new possibilities and live a more authentic and fulfilling life. So, take some time to reflect on what you may be pushing down or denying within yourself and give yourself permission to embrace the paradoxical nature of your own identity.

    Seeing the paradox and complexity within ourselves and others

    We are all complex beings, full of contradictions and nuances. Attachment and aversion, or judging and accepting, are two sides of the same coin. We often limit ourselves by holding on to rigid beliefs about ourselves and others, missing out on the richness of their true nature. The next time you encounter someone or a part of yourself that you have a black and white view of, try to see the paradox and complexity within them, and within yourself. Remember, we are all more than who we think we are, and we are meant for more. A simple exercise to practice this is to observe the world around you with an open mind, as the example of the dissolving stone illustrates. By recognizing the complexity and layers within ourselves and others, we can expand our perspective and live more fully.

    Focus on adding one thing and subtracting one thing for a better life

    We often limit ourselves by settling for less and failing to accept our own paradoxical nature. To improve our lives in the second quarter and make 2024 great, we should focus on adding one thing and subtracting one thing, as simple as basic math. This requires shifting our mindset and belief systems to overcome the internal blocks holding us back. By asking ourselves what to add, what to subtract, and what to multiply, we can identify the one thing that will have the greatest impact on our lives. Remember, the biggest challenges often lie within ourselves.

    Setting higher goals and expectations

    Raising the stakes in our lives, rather than adding stress, can help us make significant improvements and shifts. Stakes are things we set for ourselves, while stress is external and often unwelcome. By increasing the importance and value we place on our goals and responsibilities, we can motivate ourselves to make progress and grow. This approach can lead to greater success and fulfillment, as opposed to feeling overwhelmed and burnt out by excessive work and pressure. So, instead of focusing on external excuses or stressors, try setting higher goals and expectations for yourself, and watch as the positive impact unfolds.

    Join captivating conversations with influential personalities

    At Ruthie's Table 4, located at one of the most famous restaurants in the world, extraordinary conversations take place every week. These conversations are not limited to anyone in particular, as guests have included renowned figures like Martha Stewart and Paul McCartney. By tuning into Ruthie's Table 4 podcast on iHeart Radio or wherever you get your podcasts, you're essentially being invited to join these thought-provoking discussions. The value of this platform lies in its ability to connect listeners with influential personalities and their perspectives on various topics. It's an opportunity to learn, be inspired, and broaden your horizons. So, grab a seat and get ready to engage in some of the most captivating conversations happening on our planet.

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    01:42:44 Laura on Final Five

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    With Love and Gratitude,

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    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    01:03:44 Better Relationship After Divorce

    01:05:52 Benny on Final Five   

    01:15:57 What’s Your Vice?

    01:17:53 Do You Take Supplements?

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    How to overcome self-doubt

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    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

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    10:04 Confusing Confidence with Self Worth

    17:37 Your Weight Impacts Your Worth is a Lie 

    24:03 What Has Self Doubt Cost You?

    31:25 How to Change Your Relationship with Rejection

    37:02 The 4-Part R to Reframe Rejection

    44:00 You Need This Today

    48:13 Which Lie Are You Trying to Unlearn? 

    56:32 Authenticity Alone Doesn’t Guarantee Success

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