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    4 Stages of Life and Love & How to Establish Deeper Connection to Your Relationships

    enMay 05, 2023

    About this Episode

    Today, I am going to share with you a conversation I had with Anna Martin from the Modern Love podcast. In this conversation, I share my journey and the life struggles I had after I left the ashram, learning more about love and dating, and the different types of love we can share to different people.

    You can order my new book 8 RULES OF LOVE at 8rulesoflove.com or at a retail store near you. You can also get the chance to see me live on my first ever world tour. This is a 90 minute interactive show where I will take you on a journey of finding, keeping and even letting go of love. Head to jayshettytour.com and find out if I'll be in a city near you. Thank you so much for all your support - I hope to see you soon.

    Key Takeaways:

    • 00:00 Intro
    • 02:58 A chance encounter that totally changed Jay’s life forever
    • 05:03 The two things we can learn from the monks and use in our daily life.
    • 06:06 A peak at Jay’s Modern Love essay.
    • 07:09 Every person you interact with is a mirror of your ego
    • 08:49 Realizing that the path you’re in isn’t the real path for you
    • 11:39 Returning to the real world and relearning how to date again
    • 13:56 A peak at Jay’s essay about his first date with his wife Radhi
    • 15:26 We often we underestimate how strongly our conditioning and wiring leads our life 
    • 17:48 Acknowledging your partner’s deep connection with family 
    • 18:25 The four stages of life and the different types of love we can share

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    Want to be a Jay Shetty Certified Life Coach? Get the Digital Guide and Workbook from Jay Shetty https://jayshettypurpose.com/fb-getting-started-as-a-life-coach-podcast/  

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    🔑 Key Takeaways

    • By combining our passions with serving others, we can find fulfillment and purpose, even if our journey is met with initial confusion or negativity.
    • Self-mastery and service are valuable values to learn from monks. Self-mastery involves understanding personal emotions, ego, and envy and reacting appropriately, while service involves positively impacting others through meaningful actions.
    • Listen to your own self-awareness and follow your heart. It is okay to change paths and find a way to share your journey with those who resonate with your practices. Trust yourself, no matter what others may think.
    • It's okay to change directions and start a new path. It may be challenging, but sharing what you have learned and being open to new experiences can lead to happiness and love.
    • Sage provides comfortable footwear for women, Cheap Caribbean offers affordable beach vacations, Lulus provides trendy clothing, and finding acceptance in a relationship can make a difference in one's life.
    • Recognize your patterns and societal conditioning. Embrace true values and simplicity over materialism. Be true to yourself for a fulfilling life.
    • By being honest, vulnerable, open, and true to oneself like Roddy and following Jay Shetty's teachings on the four stages of life, we can consciously train and develop qualities that enrich our relationships and life. The most important love story is the one we have with everyone and the world.
    • Love comes in many different forms, and it's important to recognize the value of all types of love. We should approach our own journey with curiosity and strive towards spreading love to others, no matter where we are on our path.
    • Limitations set by others do not have to dictate your future. With determination and perseverance, you can achieve anything you set your mind to, just like Fauja Singh. Believe in yourself and don't let anyone hold you back.
    • Don't let outside opinions or barriers hold you back from pursuing your dreams. Embrace yourself, reflect on your life's path, and take action towards your passions today. FIA's story teaches us the power of perseverance and determination.

    📝 Podcast Summary

    Jay Shetty's journey of combining skills and service, inspired by his time as a monk

    Jay Shetty's philosophy of using our skills in the service of others, as learned during his time as a monk in India, has led him to a fulfilling life and helped him find the love of his life. He spent his college years interning in financial companies while also visiting the monastery, trying to find his calling. Living two separate lives allowed him to learn and understand. However, his choice was not always met with positivity from his friends and extended family. But despite the initial confusion and negativity, Jay's approach to life, rooted in Hindu philosophy, inspires others to be more compassionate and self-aware even if they have never been to an ashram.

    The Two Values Jay Shetty Learned from Monks

    Jay Shetty explains the two important values that he learned from monks during his time spent with them, which are self-mastery and service. By self-mastery, he meant understanding personal emotions, ego, and envy, and reacting to them appropriately. On the other hand, service referred to living a life that positively impacted others, such as building sustainable villages or food distribution programs to help disadvantaged children. Shetty became a monk in his twenties and learned the Sanskrit word ‘aria,’ which means the right use of energy, emphasizing that we must direct our limited energy towards creating meaningful impacts. Living with a group of men in an ashram, every person is a mirror for our ego and triggers us to notice our worldly responses to spiritual tasks.

    The Power of Being Both a Teacher and a Student

    Recognizing that everyone can be both a teacher and a student is a powerful practice that can help build mutual respect. However, living in an ashram can be challenging and may not be for everyone. As Jay Shetty realized, making the decision to leave can be difficult, but it is important to listen to your own self-awareness and follow your heart. It is okay to change paths and find a way to share your journey with others that resonate with your practices. Ultimately, the decision to stay or leave depends on what is right for the individual, and there is no one right answer. It is crucial to follow your heart and trust yourself, no matter what others may think.

    The Joys of Moving On and Embracing Change

    Leaving a path that was once right for us does not mean we have failed. It simply means that we have grown and changed. The transition can be difficult, but as long as we are sharing what we have learned, we can find happiness. When we come back to our old life, we may feel like we have been unfrozen from a different time period, but we must embrace small talk and building new relationships. And even though it may feel awkward, it is possible to find love again. It's all about being open to new experiences and continuing to learn and grow.

    Women's Footwear, Vacation Deals, Fashion and Relationships

    Women deserve better in terms of comfortable and stylish footwear, and Sage footwear is here to meet that need with its lightweight construction, breathable textiles, and elegant design. Alison Felix, founder and president of SCE Footwear for Women, has created this brand exclusively designed by women for women. The Cheap Caribbean Budget Beach Finder helps vacationers find the best all-inclusive deals in destinations like Mexico, Jamaica, and more, allowing them to have an amazing time in the sun without breaking the bank. Lulus is the perfect destination for on-trend, quality apparel for events like graduation and spring break. With code Lulusfan20, shoppers can save 20% off their first order. Jay Shetty's return to normal life after leaving the ashram wasn't exactly smooth sailing, but finding someone who accepts you for who you are can make all the difference.

    Breaking Free from Conditioned Behavior for a Fulfilling Life

    Sometimes, we get trapped in our conditioned behavior without even realizing it. We tend to follow certain patterns in our life unconsciously without questioning it. Our societal conditioning plays an important role in this. Jay Shetty found himself trying to impress his date based on what he had seen in movies and his past experiences. It took him a while to break free from this pattern and truly embrace his wife's simplicity. It's important to recognize our patterns and break free from them to lead a more fulfilling life. Being true to ourselves and our values is what truly matters and impressing others with materialistic things should not be our focus.

    Developing Monk-like Qualities for Meaningful Relationships and Life

    Developing monk-like qualities can benefit our relationships and overall way of being. It involves being honest, vulnerable, open, and true to oneself, like Roddy. Jay Shetty's teachings and literature highlight the four stages of life as classrooms of love: solitude, relationship, reflection, and loving the world. The monks believe that the most important love story is the one we have with everyone and with the world, not just our romantic partner. We can consciously train and develop these qualities in ourselves and others, regardless of our past experiences. By incorporating these qualities into our lives, we can lead a more fulfilling and meaningful life.

    The Four Stages of Love According to Jay Shetty

    Jay Shetty reminds us that the love of a brother, sister, mother, or father is just as valuable as romantic love. He discusses the four stages of love, which range from practicing love towards those around us to spreading love to the entire planet. While Shetty admits to having only glimpses of the latter stages, he emphasizes the importance of not feeling shame or guilt about where we currently are in our own journey. Instead, we should approach our progress with curiosity and clarity. Ultimately, Shetty challenges us to recognize the inherent worth of all types of love and to strive towards spreading love to those around us, no matter where we are on our own path.

    Overcoming Limitations: The Story of Fauja Singh

    Overcome the limits placed on you by others, their limits don't have to be yours. Fauja Singh, the world's oldest marathoner, is proof that with determination and perseverance, anything is possible. He was teased as a child and told he would never walk or farm, but he defied expectations and became a successful farmer and athlete. After experiencing loss, he turned to running for comfort and found that he was good at it. Despite his age, Fauja went on to break records and inspire others with his accomplishments. So, believe in yourself and don't let anyone else set limitations on you.

    Take control of your life and follow your passions

    Don't let outside opinions or supposed barriers hold you back from pursuing your passions or chasing your dreams. Embrace yourself and your experiences, and observe any thoughts and emotions that arise. Remember that it's never too late to take a step toward a new interest or goal. Take control of your life and define it on your own terms. FIA's remarkable story teaches us the power of perseverance and determination, regardless of what others may say or expect of us. So, take a moment to meditate and reflect on your own life's path, and consider what steps you can take to follow your passions. Share this message with someone who could use it and take action towards your dreams today.

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    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    With Love and Gratitude,

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    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

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    01:05:52 Benny on Final Five   

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    01:17:53 Do You Take Supplements?

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    How can you stop self-sabotage and grow personally?

    Today, let’s welcome Jamie Kern Lima. Jamie is a New York Times bestselling author, founder of IT Cosmetics, a company she started in her living room and sold to L'Oreal in a billion-dollar deal, becoming the first female CEO of a brand in its 100+ year history. She's also an active philanthropist who has funded leadership training in more than 100 prisons and shelters across the US, and has donated over $40 million in product and funds to help women face the effects of cancer with confidence. 

    Jamie and Jay ponder on the meaning of self-worth, distinguishing it from mere confidence and challenging the misguided belief that our value is tied to our physical appearance. We get to hear the detrimental effects of self-doubt and present empowering strategies to transform your relationship with rejection, offering a new perspective that fosters resilience and self-compassion. 

    And then the conversation dives deep into personal beliefs, urging us to identify and discard unhelpful misconceptions, while giving emphasis on why authenticity is crucial and its role in conjunction with other factors in achieving success. 

    In this interview, you'll learn:

    How to build self-worth

    How to distinguish confidence from self-worth

    How to handle rejection

    How to overcome self-doubt

    How to remain authentic

    Together, let's learn how to distinguish your worth from external validation, turn rejection into a stepping stone, and live authentically.

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    00:00 Intro

    03:17 Do You Feel Worthy Today?

    10:04 Confusing Confidence with Self Worth

    17:37 Your Weight Impacts Your Worth is a Lie 

    24:03 What Has Self Doubt Cost You?

    31:25 How to Change Your Relationship with Rejection

    37:02 The 4-Part R to Reframe Rejection

    44:00 You Need This Today

    48:13 Which Lie Are You Trying to Unlearn? 

    56:32 Authenticity Alone Doesn’t Guarantee Success

    Episode Resources:

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