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    149. Confidence will change your life ft. Tiff Baira

    Confidence is built through consistent self-belief and projecting success. Being prepared and respectful of ourselves sets the tone for how others perceive and treat us. Don't give up on our growth and dreams.

    enDecember 05, 2023

    About this Episode

    Confidence truly is the secret to a better life: better friendships, better self esteem, better dates, better romance, better career success. Today, we are joined by the iconic, Tiff Baira known best for her show "Street Hearts NYC", her role as a matchmaker and model, as we explore how having certainty in your worth is the key to your dream life. 

    We break down the equation for true, undeniable confidence, treating confidence as a skill you can strengthen and train, the truth behind "fake it till you make it", learning to reject those who aren't capable of seeing your value and the changes you will begin to notice in your life. Listen now! 

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    🔑 Key Takeaways

    • Surrounding yourself with supportive friends during your twenties is essential for navigating challenges, managing anxiety, and creating a positive environment for personal growth.
    • Love yourself first, set high standards, embrace rejection as redirection, break free from settling, recognize your own value.
    • Settling for less than we deserve in relationships is not worth it. We should prioritize our own value and not let fear of being alone push us into unhealthy relationships. Solitude allows us to grow and focus on our goals.
    • Building confidence takes time and requires self-exploration. We should not conform to others' standards and not let other people's opinions define our worth.
    • Building confidence begins with valuing your own opinion and not letting the opinions of others define your worth or hinder your pursuit of happiness. Embrace your strengths and prioritize your own opinions over the negativity of others.
    • Overcoming fear and anxious thoughts, and embracing your true self are essential in building confidence, even if it means losing people who wanted a different version of you.
    • Cultivating personal activities and interests empowers us to value ourselves and make positive changes, no longer relying on others' validation for our self-worth.
    • Build confidence from within and focus on genuine connections instead of seeking validation and compromising your true self.
    • Society's timelines and expectations around relationships are unnecessary. True fulfillment can be found in various forms, and building meaningful connections takes time and effort. Confidence and authenticity attract opportunities and create positive change.
    • Building confidence takes time and effort, starting with acknowledging insecurities, engaging with others, surrounding yourself with supportive people, and embracing new experiences.
    • Confidence is built through consistent self-belief and projecting success. Being prepared and respectful of ourselves sets the tone for how others perceive and treat us. Don't give up on our growth and dreams.

    📝 Podcast Summary

    The Importance of Supportive Friendships in Your Twenties

    In short, one big takeaway from this podcast episode is the importance of surrounding yourself with supportive friends as you navigate the challenges of your twenties. As we grow older, our actions carry more weight and our anxiety levels tend to increase. It's during this time that having a strong support system becomes crucial. Good friends can help us see reason when our anxiety spirals out of control and remind us of our worth. They provide a sounding board for our worries and help us through the aftermath of a night of excessive drinking. Ultimately, this episode reminds us to not only have our own backs but also to choose friendships that have our back too, creating a positive and empowering environment for personal growth.

    Navigating dating: self-love, high standards, and breaking free

    Navigating dating can be a struggle, especially when it comes to maintaining self-love and not blaming oneself for unsuccessful relationships. The key is to learn to love oneself before venturing into the dating world and set high standards for what one deserves. Rejection should be seen as redirection, leading to where one needs to be and guiding them away from toxic relationships. It is important to break free from the cycle of settling for less, even if it means stepping out of one's comfort zone. The excitement felt during the chase may actually be anxiety, signaling that one deserves better. The focus should be on recognizing one's own value and not having to prove it to others.

    Valuing ourselves and embracing solitude in relationships

    We should not settle for less than we deserve in relationships. We have the power to set our own value and should not let others treat us poorly. If someone starts off disrespecting us or treating us badly, it is unlikely to improve over time. We should strive for a partner who values us from the start and treats us with respect. Additionally, we shouldn't let our fear of being alone push us into unhealthy or unfulfilling relationships. Being alone can be a beautiful experience that allows us to grow and learn about ourselves. We should focus on our own goals and not settle for temporary distractions. Solitude is sacred, and we should embrace it.

    Cultivating a Lifelong Connection with Ourselves

    The relationship we have with ourselves is the most important one. It's a lifelong connection that we often neglect to cultivate. While some people may naturally exude confidence, it doesn't come easily for everyone. Tiffany Baira, for instance, struggled with bullying and trying to fit in until she realized that she didn't need to conform to other people's standards. What truly set her free was the understanding that there's not one way to be and that opinions of others don't define her worth. Confidence is not an overnight achievement but requires constant cultivation. It's about exploring who we want to be and not letting other people's labels define us.

    Building Confidence and Valuing Your Opinion

    Confidence is built by valuing your own opinion and not giving others the power to make you feel inferior. It's important to recognize that the opinions of others should not define your worth or stop you from pursuing the life you want. People who criticize are often projecting their own insecurities onto others, and it's crucial not to let their negativity hold you back. Instead, focus on being the best version of yourself and doing what you love. Confidence comes from living your truth, even if it means facing judgment or hate. Embrace the strength within yourself and prioritize your own opinions over the opinions of others.

    Building confidence through pragmatic steps and embracing your true self.

    Building confidence starts with making choices that align with who you want to be. Even if you currently feel shy, insecure, or doubtful, you can take pragmatic steps to boost your confidence. Conduct a confidence check-in by listing everything you dislike about yourself and then imagine what a person who wasn't plagued by those insecurities would do. Embody the mindset of someone fearless and capable of doing the things you aspire to do. Often, it's the fear, rather than the actual action, that holds us back. We spend too much time envisioning worst-case scenarios that rarely come true. Overcoming anxious thoughts involves recognizing the "what if" pattern and following each thought to its logical end, usually leading to the realization that the outcome doesn't matter as much as we fear. Embracing your true self may result in losing people who wanted a different version of you, but that's okay. Remember, confidence doesn't mean you're free from anxiety or self-doubt.

    Nurturing Personal Passions for Inner Strength

    Cultivating personal activities and interests that are solely ours can greatly enhance our confidence and sense of self-worth. These activities serve as sacred things that bring us joy and allow us to stand firm in our values and identity, regardless of others' opinions or societal pressures. Whether it's something as small as journaling, reading, meditating, or engaging in physical activities like boxing, these personal pursuits contribute to our overall well-being and help us navigate through the noise of the world. They provide us with a sense of power and a reminder that no one can take away what is truly ours. Embracing these activities as part of our identity allows us to love ourselves and make positive changes, free from the need for validation from others.

    Prioritize Yourself and Set Standards

    We should never settle for being someone's option. We deserve to be the top priority in someone's life. This means setting our own standards and not compromising our true selves for the sake of others' approval. Building confidence should come from within, not from seeking validation from others. It can be challenging when we've been conditioned to believe that we need to dress or behave a certain way to attract attention. However, embracing our own power and being authentic to ourselves is crucial. Instead of constantly chasing after someone's love and affection, we should focus on whether we genuinely like them and if they meet our own standards.

    Embracing Happiness and Building Relationships at Any Age

    Timelines and societal expectations around relationships are fake and unnecessary. Happiness and fulfillment can be found at any age and in various forms, such as having a nice little puppy or going on dates and taking time for yourself. Good things, including relationships, take time and effort to build. It's important to remember that not everyone finds their perfect partner through a cute supermarket encounter; for most of us, it involves going through the ups and downs of dating apps and putting ourselves out there. Each experience teaches us more about what we want and don't want, ultimately leading us to become a better and more confident version of ourselves. Embodying confidence and being authentic attracts more people and opportunities into our lives. Confidence is a secret hack that can positively impact all aspects of life, including career and friendships. By choosing to step into our power and be true to ourselves, we can create significant positive change and embrace a better future.

    Building Confidence: A Journey of Personal Growth and Connection.

    Building confidence takes time and intentional effort. It's not something that can be instantly achieved through quick fixes or illusions of digital confidence. It starts with acknowledging your insecurities and being open to personal growth. Taking small steps, such as engaging in conversations with others and showing genuine interest in their stories, can help build connections and boost your self-assurance. Additionally, conducting a friend audit and surrounding yourself with supportive and uplifting individuals is crucial for a healthy confidence journey. Embracing new experiences and facing your fears head-on can also contribute to building confidence. Ultimately, confidence is about being curious, treating others with respect, and creating a positive energy that can attract meaningful connections.

    The Power of Self-Belief and Consistent Projection

    The way we present ourselves and the energy we radiate greatly impact how others treat us and perceive us. If we want to be seen as confident and successful, we must first believe in ourselves and project that image consistently. This applies not only to our professional lives, but also to our personal lives. The key is to be prepared and make micro habits that directly impact our confidence. Being late or unprepared for meetings or important occasions can hinder our confidence and the way others see us. It's important to respect ourselves and set our own standards of what that means. While the journey may be messy and we may not have all the answers, as long as we don't quit and keep working towards our growth and dreams, we can still achieve them.

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