compliments

Connecting with people is a sure-fire way to be happier - and you can quickly build relationships with friends and strangers alike just by giving them a sincere compliment.

In the first show of a season about how to be more sociable - we meet Troy Hawke, who makes a living complimenting everyone he passes on the street, and scientist Xuan Zhao - an expert on compliments who ditched her boyfriend for failing to say out loud all the nice things he thought about her.

(For more on Xuan's public benefit startup Flourish Science - a company aiming to "help people discover joy, combat burnout, and cultivate deeper connections within supportive communities" - then visit www.flouriship.com.)

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You watch the cliché rom-coms and sitcoms.

They tell you to be witty, urbane, “sassy”, sophisticated. And that’s what everyone wants to portray on their profile on Bumble, Tinder, Hinge, Grab-a-mate, Blah-bar (Ok, I made up those last two up).

What hardly anyone does in conversation pay an actual memorable compliment.

And this doesn’t just for for online dating. It’s also lacking in many flesh-and-blood conversations. Both men and women defer to trying to look impressive (through their career, fancy degree, social status) instead of making a real connection.

One reason we avoid being genuine in our compliments is because we’re scared to put ourselves on the line. And yet, there is this weird phenomenon: we tend to like people who actually see something special about us.

If you agree and want some practical advice on being memorable in other people's eyes, listen to this episode...

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Learn the 5 compliments that everyone loves to hear. Download the free guide at SayThisToHim.com

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