About this Episode

    Have you been struggling to get over your ex?

    Do you want to find healing after a painful breakup?

    Then this episode is for you.

    Today, Jay will talk about the complexities of heartbreak and grief, shedding light on the profound emotional and physiological effects of romantic loss. He unravels the intricate workings of the human brain's obsession with love, exploring the biological and psychological mechanisms triggered by heartbreak. There are different physiological changes that occur in the body during a breakup, illuminating the intensity of emotions experienced in the aftermath of romantic dissolution.

    Through poignant anecdotes and expert insights, Jay navigates through the stages of grief, offering a compassionate understanding of the rollercoaster of emotions that accompany loss. From denial to anger, bargaining to depression, and ultimately acceptance, Jay guides listeners through the transformative journey of healing and growth.

    In this episode, you’ll learn:

    • How to overcome a breakup
    • The physical manifestations of a heartbreak
    • The different stages of grief

    Whether you're in the midst of a breakup or seeking to support a loved one through their journey of healing, this episode offers invaluable insights to help you navigate the path forward with grace and resilience. 

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    • 00:00 Intro
    • 02:19 What Happens When Someone Breaks Our Heart?
    • 03:54 The Human Brain Is Obsessed with Love
    • 04:55 What Happens in the Body During a Breakup?
    • 09:36 Why Breakups Are Comparable to Addiction Withdrawal
    • 11:36 The Rage Room
    • 13:58 The FIve Stage of Grief
    • 16:38 THe First Stage - Denial
    • 20:42 The Second Stage - Anger
    • 23:03 The Third Stage - Bargaining
    • 25:37 The Fourth Stage - Depression  
    • 27:33 The Final Stage - Acceptance
    • 29:02 This is the Best Way to Describe Grief

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    🔑 Key Takeaways

    • Breakups trigger withdrawal in the brain, causing intense longing and addiction-like cravings. Recognizing these natural reactions allows for healing and moving forward.
    • Breakups not only affect us emotionally but also have a significant chemical impact on our bodies. Empathy and support are crucial in recognizing and alleviating the physical and emotional symptoms experienced during this difficult time.
    • Allow yourself to feel and release rage in a safe environment, understand the stages of healing, and respect the different experiences of grief to gradually come to terms with reality.
    • It is normal to go through different stages of grief, including anger, bargaining, and depression. Acknowledge and allow yourself to feel these emotions, find healthy outlets, and seek support when needed.
    • Experiencing emotions after a breakup is normal, seeking therapy or coaching helps with healing, and growing into the best version of ourselves is the key to moving on.

    📝 Podcast Summary

    Understanding the Brain's Response to Heartbreak

    Our brains are wired to seek and crave love, which releases dopamine and oxytocin. However, when we experience a breakup, our brains go into a state of withdrawal, releasing cortisol and epinephrine. This can lead to intense feelings of longing and addiction-like cravings for our ex-partner. The high levels of cortisol can also put our bodies in fight or flight mode, causing physical symptoms like headaches and tension. It's important to understand that these reactions are natural and part of the brain's response to loss and heartbreak. By recognizing and acknowledging these emotional and physical effects, we can begin to heal and move forward.

    The Chemical Impact of Breakups: Understanding the Physical and Emotional Symptoms

    Breakups have a significant chemical impact on our bodies and minds. The release of cortisol and epinephrine during a breakup can lead to physical and emotional symptoms like digestive issues, weakened immune system, poor sleep, and irrational behavior. It's important for us to empathize with someone going through a breakup and understand that it's not just an emotional experience, but a chemical one as well. While it may be tempting to dismiss their pain or tell them to "get over it," it's crucial to recognize the challenging nature of breakups. However, there are ways to help alleviate the chemical effects, such as physical activity or finding healthy outlets for emotional release.

    Embracing Rage and Understanding Healing Process

    It is important to allow ourselves to release our rage in a controlled and safe environment. We often make the mistake of thinking that rage makes us bad, when in reality, it is a feeling that needs to be felt and let go. It is a part of the healing process. We tend to rush ourselves through healing, wanting to go from hurting to being fully healed without going through the necessary stages. Just like playing a game, we can't skip levels and expect to reach the end. We need to understand that healing has levels - reeling, feeling, and healing. Additionally, loss is not limited to death, it can also include the end of relationships and the loss of an envisioned future. Grief is a mental and emotional experience, and we should never downplay someone's grief just because it doesn't align with our own perceptions. It is crucial to go through the stages of grief, including denial, as a way to gradually process and come to terms with the new reality. We cannot force ourselves or others to feel something they are not ready to feel.

    Understanding and Navigating the Stages of Grief

    Going through the stages of grief, such as anger, bargaining, and depression, is a natural and complex process. It's important to acknowledge and allow ourselves to experience these emotions without judgment. Anger can be a challenging phase without a clear outlet, but finding healthy ways to release it, like talking to friends or seeking therapy, can be beneficial. Bargaining involves trying to regain control and taking responsibility, but it's crucial to recognize that certain things are beyond our control. Depression is a more passive stage that may lead to isolation, but staying connected to loved ones and seeking professional help can provide support. It's essential to take the time to process these emotions gradually and seek help when needed to navigate through the grief journey.

    The Stages of Breakup and Healing Process

    Going through a breakup is a natural process with various stages, including denial, depression, rebuilding, and acceptance. It's important to understand that experiencing these emotions is not a sign of madness or craziness, but rather a normal part of healing. Seeking therapy or coaching can be incredibly helpful in rebuilding self-esteem and focusing on personal growth. Acceptance does not mean that the pain goes away completely, but it signifies acknowledging the end of the relationship and the lessons learned from it. Grief, like carrying a stone, may always be present, but as we become stronger and better versions of ourselves, that weight starts to feel lighter. Ultimately, the key to healing is to become the best version of yourself.

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    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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