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    Modern Life Is Making You Sick, but It Doesn’t Have To | Dr. Gabor Maté

    enApril 19, 2023

    Podcast Summary

    • The Importance of Addressing Social Sources of Illness in Modern MedicineModern living and societal norms can have a significant negative impact on our mental and physical health. It is important to recognize the social sources of illness and incorporate ancient shamanic medicine and psychedelic therapy into Western medicine for optimal healing.

      Modern medicine overlooks the impact that modern living has on our minds and bodies, including hidden societal and structural sources of stress. Dr. Gabor Maté argues that our society's norms are making us sick and that what we consider abnormal mental and physical health conditions are normal responses to abnormal circumstances. Our culture's individualistic and competitive interests are unhealthy compared to our communal, collaborative, and connected history as hunter-gatherers. We should recognize and address the social sources of illness like trauma and self-limiting beliefs to prevent and treat disease, and consider incorporating ancient shamanic medicine and psychedelic therapy into our Western medical framework for optimal healing.

    • Reconnecting with our True Nature for Overall Wellbeing.Modern society's detachment from nature and community connections has caused rampant illnesses, mental health issues, and inequality. It's vital to recognize and rebuild our lost connections to improve our overall wellbeing.

      Modern society has created conditions that don't fulfill our essential human needs, leading to a prevalent culture of illness and inequality. Indigenous peoples who lived closer to nature had healthier lives. While modern achievements like technology and medicine are commendable, we need to recognize the things we've lost in being disconnected from our true nature. Poverty, mental health issues, and health risks are still rampant in our society, indicating that we have failed to use our knowledge and capabilities to address fundamental issues. We need to become conscious of what's missing in our lives and relationships, and recognize the importance of community connections and social interactions for our overall wellbeing.

    • The Role of Social and Psychological Factors in Physical and Mental HealthIllnesses like addiction and depression cannot be attributed solely to genetics. Emotional stress affects overall health, and social and psychological factors play a significant role. Childhood trauma can contribute to privilege individuals' illness.

      Illnesses, including addiction and suicide, cannot be solely attributed to individual or genetic factors. Social and psychological factors play a significant role in physical health. Emotional stress negatively affects the immune system, hormonal apparatus, nervous system, heart, and gut. Mind and body cannot be separated, and stress levels impact overall health. ADHD and depression are not purely genetic and instead stem from social conditions. Normal responses to abnormal circumstances, such as kids killing themselves or suffering from ADHD, should be addressed in the context of social and psychological dynamics. Stress and trauma are proven sources of physical illness, and childhood trauma may contribute to illness in privileged individuals.

    • The Impact of Stressful Life Events on HealthStressful life events can cause physiological stress and increase the risk of illness, particularly in oppressed and marginalized communities. Maintaining modern achievements while improving health is a significant challenge. Emotional interactions with the environment shape human beings.

      Stressful life events such as lack of control, uncertainty, lack of information and conflict can cause physiological stress that increases the risk of illness. Oppressed and marginalized communities are more prone to such stress, leading to a higher risk of illness. Autoimmune diseases and mental health conditions are consequences of globalization, industrialization, social isolation and destruction of community, evident in societies that never had them earlier. Maintaining modern achievements and economic progress while improving health is a significant challenge for us. Trauma can cause disconnection from the self, which leads to emotional and gut feeling separation and sets people at risk for stress. Emotional interactions with the environment shape human beings.

    • Healing from Trauma by Reconnecting with the Lost Sense of SelfTrauma can come from both the bad things that happen to us and the good things that should have happened. To heal, we must reconnect with our lost sense of self and address both big and small T traumas while embracing wholeness.

      Trauma is not just about the bad things that happen to us, but also the good things that should have happened. Our adaptations to survive traumatic events, especially in childhood, can later become a source of pathology. The key to healing from trauma is to reconnect with the sense of self that was lost. Health, in its essence, means coming back to wholeness. Traumatic events are not universal, but they can leave wounds that affect our relationships with ourselves and others. It is important to recognize and address both big T traumas, such as abuse or neglect, and small T traumas, which result from unmet essential needs in childhood.

    • The Harmful Effects of Denying a Child's NeedsParents should prioritize building trust with their children and avoid using violent discipline methods. Meeting a child's emotional and physical needs is crucial to preventing trauma and promoting healthy development.

      Denying a child's needs can also result in trauma apart from physically hurting them. The way we raise children today is largely detached from what children actually need. Hitting a child can cause them pain, fear, and betrayal, and could lead to small or big T trauma. Parents need to develop trust with their child so that the child feels comfortable to express their emotions and needs. Teaching kids that violence is the answer is not the right way to discipline them. Parents should ensure that they don't cause their children physical or emotional harm, and always try to understand what their child needs.

    • Recognizing and Addressing Childhood Trauma for a Safe Future GenerationNormalized parenting behaviors, like spanking, can have traumatic effects on children. It's important to recognize and address children's experiences of trauma and prioritize safe and nurturing environments to prevent long-lasting impacts on mental and physical health.

      Childhood trauma can manifest in ways we may not even realize, like bullying others or struggling to express vulnerability. Normalized behaviors, like spanking, can have traumatic impacts on children. It's important for parents to recognize and address their child's experiences of trauma and be available as a source of comfort and protection. Celebrating traumatizing behaviors as resilience building parenting can further perpetuate traumatic experiences. Childhood trauma can have long-lasting impacts on mental and physical health, leading individuals to suppress emotions and feelings of vulnerability. It's crucial to acknowledge and address trauma in our society and prioritize providing safe and nurturing environments for children.

    • The Effects of Trauma on Emotional Patterns and PhysiologyEmotional balance and intelligence are essential for a healthy life. Trauma is normalized in society and may impact people's emotional patterns and physiology. To heal emotionally, we must practice self-compassion and embrace the four A's and five compassions. Comparison of suffering must be avoided.

      Dr. Gabor Maté highlights the normalization of trauma in society and how it affects people's emotional patterns and physiology. Lack of self-compassion is a typical marker of trauma which can impact individuals even in seemingly comfortable childhoods. To heal emotionally, Dr. Maté emphasizes the four A's and five compassions, which comprise emotional patterns that are inseparable from physiology. Emotional balance and intelligence can positively affect our health as well. Therefore, we must gain emotional intelligence and balance to thrive. It is important not to compare suffering and individual versions of it. In a world that may make us sick, emotional intelligence and balance can lead us to thrive.

    • The Importance of Expressing Authentic Emotions for Good HealthBy recognizing and expressing our emotions, especially healthy anger, we can maintain boundaries and promote a strong immune system. Neglecting our emotions can lead to autoimmune diseases and other health problems, so it's crucial to take charge of our health by accepting and expressing our authentic selves.

      Taking charge of our lives by gaining agency and accepting reality can promote good health. Being authentic and expressing healthy anger is crucial for maintaining boundaries and a strong immune system. Suppressing emotions, especially anger, can lead to autoimmune diseases and other health problems. It is important to recognize and express our emotions, even if it means saying no to others or confronting uncomfortable situations. Fitting in and suppressing our authentic selves can have detrimental effects on our physical and mental health. By accepting and expressing our emotions, we can take care of ourselves and avoid the heavy price of neglecting our boundaries and emotions.

    • The Five Levels of Compassion and the Importance of Awareness in Healing TraumaCompassion and awareness are crucial in healing trauma. Understanding the five levels of compassion can help to provide a deeper level of support, while awareness is necessary for recognizing and understanding pain and privilege.

      Compassion and awareness are essential in healing trauma. Compassion comes in five levels: ordinary human compassion, compassion of understanding, compassion of recognition, compassion of witnessing, and universal compassion. Without compassion, people may not allow themselves to see the truth. Awareness is crucial for all aspects of healing, and trauma can result in feelings of being motherless children. Trauma is painful, and only by recognizing and understanding it can one begin to heal. It is not enough to simply feel bad for those who suffer. Compassion involves not only recognizing and understanding their pain but also recognizing our privilege and how it may manifest in our own lives.

    • The Importance of Compassion and Truth in Personal and Social HealingCompassion starts with self-inquiry and self-compassion, and recognizing humanity and potential to heal in ourselves and others. Disillusionment and facing uncomfortable truths is necessary for positive change.

      Compassion is essential for helping people recognize the truth about their lives, but it requires a commitment to the truth and a willingness to face discomfort and disillusionment. It begins with self-inquiry and self-compassion, as well as recognizing our own addictive patterns and behaviors. Operationalizing compassion requires recognizing the essential humanity and capacity to heal in ourselves and others, regardless of behavior or appearance. Liberating ourselves from traumatic imprints is a lifelong journey, both individually and socially, but it is essential in order to face the truth and make positive changes. Being disillusioned is a necessary step in this process, as it allows us to see reality as it truly is and decide what actions to take.

    • The Lifelong Process of Becoming a Real BoyBecoming a real boy or man is a journey that involves emotional, relational, spiritual work, and self-examination. Indigenous healers emphasize interconnection and holistic health, while Dr. Gabor Maté urges us to liberate ourselves from traumas and work towards healing in all aspects of our lives. Psychedelics can help reveal our unconscious and make us lighter over time.

      Becoming a real boy is a lifelong process that requires emotional, relational, spiritual work and self-examination. It's about taking responsibility and recognizing our sociality as humans. Indigenous healers emphasize interconnection and the need to find health in all four quadrants of mental, social, physical, and spiritual. Psychedelics can help make us lighter over time by revealing our unconscious to us. Dr. Gabor Maté urges us to engage with the question of how we can liberate ourselves from omnipresent traumas and work towards healing individually, interpersonally, socially, and spiritually.

    • The Intersection of Psychedelics and Shamanic Medicine for Holistic HealingIntegrating traditional medicine and alternative healing modalities like psychedelics and shamanic medicine can unlock suppressed emotions, heal limiting beliefs, and bring about holistic healing for physical and mental health conditions.

      Psychedelics, under the right guidance and setting, have immense healing possibilities for physical illness, addiction, and mental health conditions by removing the membrane between the conscious and the unconscious, allowing individuals to see and address what they are unconsciously carrying. Traditional medicine, like shamanic medicine, also has a lot to offer in chronic mental and physical health issues where Western medicine falls short. Healing involves recognizing and undoing limiting beliefs imposed by trauma, like the belief that one is not lovable or important, which can lead to workaholism and other self-destructive behaviors. We must recognize the value of different healing modalities and incorporate them into our healing practices.

    • Recognizing and Breaking Free from Limiting BeliefsDifficulty saying "no" in personal or work relationships can signal a limiting belief. Recognize the impact and belief behind it. Addressing social sources of illness and promoting equality can lead to a healthier society.

      Our limiting beliefs can prevent us from being our true selves and living fully. A simple way to identify these limiting beliefs is by recognizing when we have difficulty saying 'no' in personal or work relationships and acknowledging the impact and belief behind it. For example, if we say 'yes' to coffee when we really want to say 'no' because we fear disappointing someone, the limiting belief may be that it's our responsibility not to disappoint others, or that we're only acceptable if we're compliant. These beliefs can lead to burnout, illness or mental health issues. To create a healthier society, we need to tackle the social sources of illness, promote equality, and incorporate education on trauma and its impact on human health.

    • The Importance of Trauma Education in Pedagogy and LawTrauma education is crucial in understanding the root cause of troubled behaviors like ADHD, opposition, bullying, etc. Indigenous people, who have suffered through colonialism and ongoing racism, are the most traumatized segment of our population. It is time to become trauma conscious and educate professionals like pedagogues and lawyers. The book by Dr. Gabor Maté promotes trauma education and discusses the healing of mental health disorders in a toxic culture.

      Trauma education needs to be introduced into the education of pedagogues as troubled behaviors with ADHD, opposition, bullying, and being bullied are all markers of trauma. The most traumatized segment of our population are indigenous people who have suffered through colonialism, ongoing racism, residential schools, and the abduction of their children. Lawyers need to be educated on trauma as many people in jail are traumatized, and for the most part, we punish people for being traumatized. It's time to become trauma conscious as the evidence is all there. Dr. Gabor Maté's book, The Myth of Normal Trauma, illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture, promotes trauma education and looks at the origins and healing of mental health disorders as a response to the environment.

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    • A primer on the cardinal characteristics of emotionally immature people (EIP’s), how to spot them, and why you might want to
    • What Lindsay means by “disentangling” from EIP’s, and how to do it
    • What often happens to your own sense of self when you’re in relationship (or even just in conversation) with an EIP 
    • How to interact with an EIP 
    • How to prevent brain scramble when you’re talking with someone who isn’t making any attempt to understand what you’re saying  
    • How she reacts when she comes across EIP’s in her everyday life
    • Whether it’s possible to have some immature characteristics without being an EIP
    • Handling your own emotionally immature tendencies  
    • Whether or not EIP’s can change
    • The limits of estrangement
    • Why she encourages “alternatives to forgiveness”


    For tickets to TPH's live event in Boston on September 7:

    https://thewilbur.com/armory/artist/dan-harris/


    Full Shownotes:

    https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/lindsay-c-gibson-617

    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    Jerks at Work | Amy Gallo

    Jerks at Work | Amy Gallo

    This is the third installment in our Work Life series. In other episodes, we cover topics like imposter syndrome, whether mindfulness really works at work, and whether you should actually bring your whole self to the office.


    Today's episode is one that many of us struggle with: interpersonal conflict at work. Our guest is a true ninja on this topic. Amy Gallo is a workplace expert who writes and speaks about interpersonal dynamics, difficult conversations, feedback, gender, and effective communication.


    Gallo is a contributing editor at Harvard Business Review and the author of a new book, Getting Along, How to Work with Anyone, Even Difficult People. She's also written the The Harvard Business Review Guide to Dealing With Conflict, and she cohosts the Women at Work podcast.

      


    In this episode we talk about:


    • Why quality interactions at work are so important for our professional success and personal mental health
    • Why Gallo believes one size doesn’t fit all when it comes to dealing with difficult people in the workplace 
    • Why avoidance isn’t usually an option 
    • What the research tells us about work friendships
    • Why we have a tendency to dehumanize people who have more power than us
    • Why passive aggressive people can be the most difficult to deal with
    • The provocative question of whether we are part of the problem when work conflict crops up
    • And, a taxonomy of the eight different flavors of difficult coworkers, including the pessimist, the victim, the know-it-all, and the insecure boss — with tactics for managing each. 




    Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/amy-gallo-576

    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    Jennifer Senior On: Grief, Happiness, Friendship Breakups, and Why We Feel Younger Than Our Actual Age

    Jennifer Senior On: Grief, Happiness, Friendship Breakups, and Why We Feel Younger Than Our Actual Age

    It’s likely uncontroversial to assert that Jennifer Senior is one of our finest living journalists. She’s currently a staff writer at The Atlantic and before that she spent many years at the New York Times and New York magazine. Jennifer’s written on a vast array of topics, but she has a special knack for writing articles about the human condition that go massively, massively, viral. One such hit was a lengthy and extremely moving piece for The Atlantic that won a Pulitzer Prize. It was about a young man who died on 9/11, and the wildly varying ways in which his loved ones experienced grief. That article, called “What Bobby McIlvaine Left Behind,” has now been turned into a book called, On Grief: Love, Loss, Memory.


    In this interview, we spend a lot of time talking about this truly fascinating yarn, but we also talk about her other articles: one about an eminent happiness researcher who died by suicide, another about why friendships often break up, and a truly delightful recent piece about the puzzling gap between how old we are and how old we think we are. Jennifer has also written a book about parenting, called All Joy and No Fun which we also reference a few times throughout.


    In this episode we talk about:

    • Jennifer’s perspective on the Bobby McIlvaine story 
    • Lesser known theories of grieving from Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
    • The work involved in finding meaning in loss
    • Why – from an evolutionary standpoint – we hurt so badly when we lose someone we love
    • Commitment and sacrifice
    • The puzzling gap between how old you are and how old you think you are
    • The power and perils of friendship
    • Why Jennifer has chosen to focus so much of her writing on relationships


    Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jennifer-senior-583

    To join a live coaching session, sign up at tenpercent.com/coaching.

    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.