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    Jerrod Carmichael ON: Reframing Shame into Self- Growth & Emotional Blocks That Stop Us from Having a Healthy Relationship

    Authenticity and truth resonate with viewers and listeners, while sponsorship and entertainment dominate American culture in sports and advertising. England maintains a more traditional approach without excessive advertising.

    enJune 12, 2023

    About this Episode

    Get ready for a powerful episode today.  

    I had the absolute pleasure of sitting down with the incredibly talented Jerrod Carmichael. Let me tell you, this episode is a game-changer for anyone who's all about acceptance and self-appreciation.

    You're in for a treat. He is a true master of his craft, known for his thought-provoking comedy and unique style. 

    Picture this: Jerrod opens up like never before, sharing his own experiences and dropping some serious knowledge on turning those uncomfortable conversations into deep, meaningful relationships.

    Jerrod speaks about how honesty with yourself makes it so much easier to connect with others on a genuine level. It's like a whole new world of connections is just waiting for us if we're willing to embrace our truth.

    Jerrod doesn't shy away from tackling those moments of shame when we're at our most vulnerable. He dives right in and gives us some powerful insights on how to deal with that head-on. It's like he's got this secret recipe for navigating shame with grace and coming out stronger on the other side.

    In this episode with Jerrod Carmichael, you'll learn:

    • Understanding our emotional blocks that are stopping us from healthy relationships 
    • How can we communicate better? 
    • Why is our shame limiting us? 
    • How to confront your fears  
    • The challenges and great reward of honesty
    • The importance of respecting people's time

    What We Discuss:

    • 00:00 Intro
    • 00:20 “I’m someone who doesn’t want attention unless I ask for it.”
    • 03:42 The passion to perform has always been alive and so appreciation for your audience is vital
    • 10:36 Shame is the hardest emotion to deal with and it often limits us from doing more
    • 17:37 How do you define what is authentic and what isn’t real?
    • 19:53 Being honest has consequences and why sticking to your own truth matters
    • 24:56 How do you reconstruct your relationship with God and live by your faith?
    • 30:47 Learning how to confront your fear with an open mind
    • 35:34 Understanding emotional blocks that are stopping you from having a healthy relationship with someone
    • 38:01 When you create more issues for yourself by not communicating properly
    • 42:49 Getting people’s attention and time is difficult thus it deserve respect
    • 47:18 Finding the middle ground between a where you’re getting information and receiving information that forces you to self-examine
    • 54:48 Focusing on one thing and doing your best to become better
    • 01:03:32 Jerrod on Final Five

    Want to be a Jay Shetty Certified Life Coach? Get the Digital Guide and Workbook from Jay Shetty https://jayshettypurpose.com/fb-getting-started-as-a-life-coach-podcast/

     

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    🔑 Key Takeaways

    • Being true to yourself fosters creativity and sense of humor; keep a private account to be authentic whilst avoiding the pressure of performing for others on social media.
    • Being truthful in storytelling can make a big impact, and asking for people's time and attention is a precious privilege that should be respected and appreciated.
    • Creating art requires tremendous effort, but the permanence of output may lead to anxiety. It's okay to focus solely on one's craft, and creativity is a process of trying and failing in private. Shame can have an impact on creative output.
    • Be mindful of the intention and impact of our words on social media, even with just one follower, and restructure our relationship with God to overcome the limiting power of shame in cancel culture.
    • Personal exploration and facing fears through art can lead to compelling storytelling and growth, even if it means confronting difficult topics and changing perspectives along the way.
    • Jerrod Carmichael's intentional creative process teaches us how confronting our fears and traumas can lead to more empathetic and compassionate art, showing the power of personal storytelling in bringing more empathy and compassion into the world.
    • Take ownership of your beliefs and understand the power within yourself to move forward, even through difficult times.
    • Confronting fears with open-mindedness, surrounding oneself with good friends, and accepting weaknesses leads to freedom, honesty, and relief from anxiety.
    • Acknowledging negative emotions and putting effort into building meaningful friendships is important for personal growth, happiness, and avoiding isolation. It takes courage to work through emotional blocks, but the rewards are worth it.
    • Communication is essential to avoid misunderstandings and conflicts. Be aware of your behavior and emotions, have the courage to communicate honestly, and recognize your own ego to build healthier relationships.
    • Authenticity and truth resonate with viewers and listeners, while sponsorship and entertainment dominate American culture in sports and advertising. England maintains a more traditional approach without excessive advertising.
    • Despite being aware of advertising’s manipulative nature, individuals must question sources and recognize the influence behind them to avoid falling prey to their impact.
    • It's crucial to self-examine and explore different ideologies rather than blindly accepting information. Through creativity, we can gain a better understanding of the world around us.
    • Discover your common thread and actively use introspection to access different intentions. Treat your audience as adults and be truthful in your work, even if it's a gamble. Aspirational and relatable storytelling can tackle heavy subjects with humor.
    • Focus on intentions rather than just the ends or beginnings of work, appreciate free-associative and therapeutic conversations while ending on a lighthearted note. Encourage others to move towards their fears.
    • Trust yourself, be honest and open, and value privacy. Don't rely on others' advice or hide your truth, even if it's difficult to share.
    • By treating others with honesty and kindness, and allowing ourselves to have uncomfortable conversations, we can grow and explore our fears through art. We shouldn't try to control others, but instead share our experiences to foster growth and understanding.

    📝 Podcast Summary

    Jerrod Carmichael on Authenticity and Non-Performing Approach on Social Media.

    In this episode, Jay Shetty interviews Jerrod Carmichael, an Emmy-nominated comedian. Jay Shetty reveals that he discovered Jerrod after his good friend Ellen DeGeneres recommended him in one of his special shows. During the interview, they discussed how Jerrod's non-performing approach on social media allowed him to remain truthful and non-performer in his posts. He explained that he created a private Instagram account where he could be honest and post things he would actually text to his friends, rather than presenting a fake version of himself. Overall, the conversation highlights the importance of authenticity and how being true to yourself can help fuel your creativity and sense of humor.

    The Importance of Being Authentic as a Performer

    It's hard to be authentic, especially for performers who have to balance their personal and professional lives. Jerrod Carmichael is influenced by the drive to tell the truth and not lie, which has made him a better storyteller. He appreciates the respect that comes with asking for people's attention and enjoys the powerful impact of performance. Growing up, he always felt drawn to performing and has fought against his passion at times. He believes that it is precious to ask for people's time and attention and has a growing respect for it. Jay Shetty and Jerrod Carmichael feel grateful for the opportunity to connect with people through their work and value their audience's time.

    The Duality of Creativity: Effort and Anxiety

    The output of creative works like books or stand-up comedy shows is a result of high creative effort that requires significant energy and time. Permanence of output can lead to anxiety and artists may choose to put all their energy into their work rather than social media or other art forms. Creativity starts with a spark that can be inspired by a range of emotions like anger, frustration, or shame. However, creativity is also about trying and failing in private until the desired result is achieved. Shame is a powerful emotion that can influence a person's behavior and actions.

    Restructuring Our Relationship with God and Overcoming Shame in Cancel Culture Era

    Shame is a powerful emotion that limits us from being ourselves, but shaming or cancel culture is growing in our society. The constant need to speak and express ourselves through social media is making us our own news channel. We need to be mindful of our intention and the impact of our words, even if we have just one follower because it has the potential of being seen and expressed amongst others. It's a challenge to have intention in every tweet, post, or story due to sheer volume, and we cannot promise that everything we say or do would have as much intention. We need to restructure our relationship with God and have conversations that we've never had to deal with shame.

    The Evolving Journey of Authenticity in Art and Storytelling

    Authenticity is an evolving journey, and what we believe to be true at one point in time may change later. Personal exploration and facing our fears is key to creating compelling art and storytelling. In our own little news channels, we may unintentionally create 'fake news' due to changes in our perspectives and thoughts. Jerrod Carmichael's personal exploration and focus on more personal, dangerous topics has made his comedy more compelling. Combating our fears through art can help us grow and discover new things about ourselves, even if it may be difficult to talk about or share publicly.

    The Power of Confronting Personal Fears in Creative Process

    Jerrod Carmichael's intentional creative process involves confronting personal fears and traumas, such as coming out publicly and dealing with the generational trauma caused by his father's adultery. He believes that audiences react more empathetically and compassionately when he talks about his personal experiences rather than just making general statements. He wants his art to communicate his emotions and pure intentions. This inspiring approach to comedy shows how powerful it can be to confront our fears and traumas in creative ways, and how personal storytelling can bring more empathy and compassion into the world.

    Jerrod Carmichael's Journey to Reconstructing His Relationship with God

    Jerrod Carmichael reconstructs his relationship with God by accepting his own divinity and seeing the Bible as a philosophy. He realizes that prayers are just affirmations for what one already has and takes responsibility for his own actions. By internalizing this philosophy, he removes the magic from the Bible and sees all things working for good through God who strengthens him. He understands that tragedy and pain can be turned into something new with a sense of purpose and duty. The key takeaway is that it is important to take ownership of one's beliefs and understand the power within oneself to move forward, even through difficult times.

    Confront Fear and Shame to Live Truthfully

    It is important to confront fears and shame in order to live truthfully, even if it is scary. Facing the fear head-on and working through it with open-mindedness is crucial for growth. It is recommended to surround oneself with good friends and people who ground us, and to acknowledge and accept anxieties and stress rather than denying or running from them. Admitting weaknesses and vulnerabilities is not shameful, but a sign of strength and courage. While the fear may stay present, releasing it can lead to a sense of freedom, greater honesty with oneself and others, and relief from the anxiety of being found out.

    Confronting Emotions and Building Relationships

    Confronting our negative emotions and talking to them when they arise is essential, as ignoring them only makes them bigger and darker. Building relationships with friends takes time, energy, and effort, but it is fulfilling and necessary to ensure we don't become lonely at the top. It is easy to justify being a selfish friend, but using money to supplement connection or keeping friends at arm's length is not healthy. It takes courage to acknowledge emotional blocks that prevent us from having healthy relationships and working through them. Opening up about personal fears or emotional consequences is scary but is necessary for our own growth and understanding.

    The Importance of Communication in Building Strong Relationships

    Communication is crucial in both personal and professional relationships to avoid misunderstandings and unnecessary conflicts. Being aware of our own behavior and emotions is important to maintain healthy relationships. It takes courage to communicate honestly, especially when it may lead to discomfort or awkwardness. Lack of communication can create more issues than it solves. The ability to see our own egos and be aware of them is essential in today's attention economy, where people strive to gain attention even by resorting to inventing things. By communicating honestly and being aware of our behavior and emotions, we can build stronger relationships.

    The Influence of Culture on Sports and Entertainment

    It is hard to get anyone's attention and to make people feel anything. Authenticity and truth are the ones that resonate with viewers or listeners. Even in mass media like sports, the rules of performance apply to keep the audience's attention. In America, everything is entertainment, while in England, sports are just sports without entertainment. Sponsors play a big role on jerseys and pitches in sports. Even in advertising, England is different as it has less advertising. America has made entertainment a part of its culture in every aspect.

    The power of advertising and the need to be aware.

    The ubiquity of advertising and product placement has an impact on how we perceive the world around us. Even recognizable landmarks like New York and LA can be identified by the advertisements present. Despite being aware of the manipulation behind targeted ads, we are still susceptible to their influence. Good advertising requires a lot of brainpower to thoughtfully consider the aesthetics and presentation of a product. However, it's important to observe and be aware of what is being presented to avoid being sucked in. As individuals, we need to question sources and recognize that even religion may have been influenced by outside sources over time.

    The Importance of Internal Checks and Balances in the Information Age

    In the era of overwhelming information, it is crucial to have respectable internal checks and balances for the sources of information that dictate our lives. While it is harder to find middle ground and know the truth in news sources, it is important to receive information that forces us to self-examine and explore various ideologies. A giant leap is required to live under the law of platitudes and not explore. For the most part, people are searching for safety, security, and stability in an ideology or relationship. It's more unsafe to not examine what we think. Through creating, acting, and directing, we can explore truth differently and gain a better understanding of the world around us.

    Focusing on One Skill and Finding Truth with Jerrod Carmichael

    Jerrod Carmichael believes in the importance of focusing on one skill and creating focused work, rather than chasing the idea of being a multihyphenate. He finds that all his skills have one common thread- finding truth. Carmichael has explored his emotions and used psycho-analysis to actively get in touch with intention, which has helped him access different intentions and be more truthful in his acting roles. He believes that treating his audience as adults and being truthful in his work pays off, even if it's a gamble. This is evident in his movie 'On the Count of Three', which takes depression and suicide seriously while finding humor in the situation, making it aspirational and relatable.

    Exploring the Power of Encouraging Others to Face Their Fears in Conversation.

    The ability to encourage others to move in the direction of their fears is a powerful intention behind any work, and very rarely explored in content as the sole intention. Knowing why someone does what they do provides a deeper appreciation of their work. Fearlessness is an important quality to who we are as individuals and gaining access to it is what Jerrod Carmichael tries to report in his work. We should focus on our intentions rather than just the beginnings or ends in our work. It is important to appreciate the beauty of free associative and therapeutic conversation with fascinating people. The ability to end on a lighthearted note is equally important as the conversation.

    Jerrod Carmichael's belief in the power of honesty and the drawbacks of seeking advice

    Jerrod Carmichael believes that the best advice is to not take advice, and the worst advice is to listen to others. He currently values buying truth and has realized the importance of privacy after feeling ashamed of sharing personal matters. Jerrod finds it hard to be around people who resist being truthful and open about their shame, as he believes it affects their ability to communicate about anything. He struggles to talk to his family about his sexuality and coming out, as they don't acknowledge it and avoid the topic. Jerrod respects those who can't be fully truthful due to their reasons, but for him, honesty is key.

    The Importance of Treating Others with Truth and Respect

    Treat others the way you want to be treated is a universal law that everyone should follow. It's important to be truthful with people and see their divinity. Giving ourselves permission to have uncomfortable conversations and release shame can lead to personal growth. Art can be used to explore our fears, not just escape them. Living in cycles and not extending ourselves can lead to bitterness and feeling imprisoned. It's important to give ourselves permission to control our relationships based on our ability to be truthful, and not to make everyone say what we want them to say. We should share what we learn and take away from conversations with others to facilitate growth and open conversations about guilt and shame.

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    01:18:59 The Fear You’re Currently Overcoming
    01:26:04 Orlando Bloom on Final Five

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    4 Ways to Know if It Is Time To End Your Relationship (When the Signs Are Not Clear and Things are Not Bad)

    4 Ways to Know if It Is Time To End Your Relationship (When the Signs Are Not Clear and Things are Not Bad)

    Do you find yourself often thinking about breaking up?

    Do you and your partner have unresolved conflicts that keep resurfacing?

    In this episode, Jay tackles the tough emotions and uncertainty many face when considering a breakup. He talks about why people stay in or leave relationships, touching on key factors like emotional closeness, personal investment, and the impact of family responsibilities. Jay also discusses how to ensure emotional security and the risks of staying for financial reasons or out of obligation. 

    In this episode you’ll learn:

    How to recognize emotional investment

    How to assess emotional security

    How to consider financial implications

    How to navigate emotional intimacy

    This honest conversation provides you with the insights to evaluate your relationship more clearly, helping you decide whether to work on it or move on, based on a deeper understanding of your feelings and the relationship's dynamics.

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    00:00 Intro

    01:10 When to End Your Relationship

    04:48 10 Reason Why People Stay in a Relationship

    12:44 Top 10 Reasons to Leave Your Relationship

    18:14 The Three Cancers of the Mind

    24:44 Difference in Scorecard Perspective

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Benny Blanco: 3 Ways to Stop Caring About Failure & Get Out of Your Own Way

    Benny Blanco: 3 Ways to Stop Caring About Failure & Get Out of Your Own Way

    How can you overcome the fear of failure?

    What can you do daily to care less about failing?

    Today, Jay sits down with Benny Blanco for an inspiring conversation about pursuing passions, mentorship, failure, and continuous motivation. Benny has made a huge mark on the music industry contributing to hundreds of millions of album sales worldwide. Benny has worked with A-List artists like Ed Sheeran, Justin Bieber, and Katy Perry. As a solo artist, his albums "Friends Keep Secrets" and its sequel have amassed over 11 billion streams, featuring multiple platinum hits. Beyond music, Benny has ventured into television and even released a cookbook, "Open Wide," showcasing his diverse talents and interests

    Benny shares insight on how to not let failure stop you and getting over imposter syndrome. We also go dive into Benny’s life outside of music, exploring his passion for cooking through his cookbook "Open Wide." Plus, Benny talks about his relationships, how he keeps his creativity flowing, and the small joys that make his life special.

    In this interview, you’ll learn:

    How to pursue your passion with limited resources

    How to not let failure get in your way of achieving your goals

    How to embrace the unexpected in creative work

    How to transition your passion into different fields

    How to find joy and creativity in everyday moments

    Don't miss this intimate look at Benny Blanco's life and maybe learn a thing or two about making your own multi-track masterpiece or the perfect dish to serve at dinner!

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    00:00 Intro

    03:43 What’s the First Creative Thing You Put Together?

    06:15 I Never Cared About Failure

    10:33 Developing Amnesia to Failure

    14:22 How Did You Meet Your Mentor?

    18:10 “The Boy I Mentored” 

    23:42 How Do You Show Up After a Rejection?

    26:51 Love Can Be Felt Through Music

    29:56 What Do You Do When You Wake Up?   

    32:02 Why Do You Struggle with Meditation?

    33:28 Why I Went to Therapy

    38:25 The Pressure of Perfectionism

    44:49 Do You Love to Cook?

    47:20 Do You Eat Healthy?

    48:47 Finding Comfort in Food

    54:42 What’s Your Sleep Pattern?

    56:40 Friendships Built Over the Years

    59:19 Multigenerational Friendships

    01:03:44 Better Relationship After Divorce

    01:05:52 Benny on Final Five   

    01:15:57 What’s Your Vice?

    01:17:53 Do You Take Supplements?

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Why Your Self Worth is Keeping You Stuck & How to Stop Sabotaging Your Personal Growth With Jamie Kern Lima

    Why Your Self Worth is Keeping You Stuck & How to Stop Sabotaging Your Personal Growth With Jamie Kern Lima

    How does low self-worth stop you from moving forward?

    How can you stop self-sabotage and grow personally?

    Today, let’s welcome Jamie Kern Lima. Jamie is a New York Times bestselling author, founder of IT Cosmetics, a company she started in her living room and sold to L'Oreal in a billion-dollar deal, becoming the first female CEO of a brand in its 100+ year history. She's also an active philanthropist who has funded leadership training in more than 100 prisons and shelters across the US, and has donated over $40 million in product and funds to help women face the effects of cancer with confidence. 

    Jamie and Jay ponder on the meaning of self-worth, distinguishing it from mere confidence and challenging the misguided belief that our value is tied to our physical appearance. We get to hear the detrimental effects of self-doubt and present empowering strategies to transform your relationship with rejection, offering a new perspective that fosters resilience and self-compassion. 

    And then the conversation dives deep into personal beliefs, urging us to identify and discard unhelpful misconceptions, while giving emphasis on why authenticity is crucial and its role in conjunction with other factors in achieving success. 

    In this interview, you'll learn:

    How to build self-worth

    How to distinguish confidence from self-worth

    How to handle rejection

    How to overcome self-doubt

    How to remain authentic

    Together, let's learn how to distinguish your worth from external validation, turn rejection into a stepping stone, and live authentically.

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    00:00 Intro

    03:17 Do You Feel Worthy Today?

    10:04 Confusing Confidence with Self Worth

    17:37 Your Weight Impacts Your Worth is a Lie 

    24:03 What Has Self Doubt Cost You?

    31:25 How to Change Your Relationship with Rejection

    37:02 The 4-Part R to Reframe Rejection

    44:00 You Need This Today

    48:13 Which Lie Are You Trying to Unlearn? 

    56:32 Authenticity Alone Doesn’t Guarantee Success

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.