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    4 Signs You Care Too Much About What People Think & How To Stop Worrying About People’s Opinions

    enMarch 01, 2024

    About this Episode

    Do you find yourself thinking too much about other people’s opinions?

    Is it starting to feel like it’s negatively affecting your life? 

    Today, Jay unveils the subtle yet pervasive signs that indicate a deep-seated concern for others' opinions and the telltale signs that you may be overly influenced by external validation, from struggling to assert boundaries to outsourcing your decision-making to others.

    Jay Also talks about actionable tips and strategies for reclaiming your sense of self-worth and how to draw inspiration from those who have walked a similar path before you, cultivating resilience and self-assurance in the face of external judgment. Explore the transformative power of reframing your self-perception and embracing a mindset of self-acceptance, as Jay emphasizes the importance of clarity and self-awareness in navigating life's challenges. 

    In this episode, you'll learn:

    • How to not crave external validation
    • How to stop people-pleasing
    • How to not get swayed by other people’s opinions
    • How to stand your ground 

    Gain practical tools for cultivating inner strength and confidence, from reframing negative self-talk to recognizing the inherent value of your own opinions and choices.

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    • 00:00 Intro
    • 02:11 Stop Caring About What People Think
    • 04:10 Sign #1: You Get Easily Swayed
    • 05:36 Sign #2: You Struggle to Say NO
    • 06:18 Sign #3: We Often Want to Please Others
    • 06:40 Sign #4: You Outsource Your Choices
    • 09:22 Tip #1: Someone Has Been Through a Similar Experience Before You
    • 17:00 Tip #2: Don’t Be Someone Who Gossips About Others
    • 18:52 Tip #3: Be Clear About How You Feel About Yourself
    • 21:06 Tip #4: Opinions Don’t Become Your Reality
    • 22:19 Tip #5: Think of the Three Best Decisions You’ve Made in Your Life
    • 24:20 Tip #6: People Are Not Thinking About As Much As You Think They Are

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    🔑 Key Takeaways

    • Booking.com offers diverse accommodations, Kroger delivers affordable quality, Calm provides stress relief tools, and the new Hyundai Santa Fe offers family-friendly versatility.
    • Be aware of being easily swayed, difficulty saying no, and consistently aligning decisions with others' values instead of your own. Set better boundaries to make decisions that align with your values and lead to greater personal fulfillment.
    • Understand it's healthy to consider others' opinions while staying true to ourselves, striking a balance between self-trust and consideration.
    • Seeking advice from caring, consistent, and connected individuals can lead to meaningful connections, growth, and overcoming obstacles.
    • Selectively seek advice from those who care, are consistent, competent, and have strong character to make informed decisions and avoid being sidetracked by unsolicited advice
    • Focusing on others' behaviors instead of our values and goals can negatively impact our personal growth.
    • Clarity of values allows acceptance of outcomes, maintains peace, CVS Health offers healthcare services, herbs like ashwagandha benefit body and mind, traveling helps discover new aspects of self, Booking.com offers various accommodations, opinions don't dictate reality, actions do.
    • Our best decisions come from our passions and convictions, not external validation or criticism. People focus less on us than we think, reducing anxiety and enabling authentic decision-making.
    • Recognize the impact of others' opinions, value intentions, set meaningful goals, find purpose, plan adventures, prioritize mental health

    📝 Podcast Summary

    Discover your perfect travel, shopping, and wellness experiences

    No matter what kind of traveler you are or what experiences you're seeking, Booking.com offers a wide range of accommodations to help turn your travel dreams into reality. Their user-friendly app makes the booking process a breeze. Meanwhile, Kroger brand products promise proven quality at affordable prices, making everyday shopping feel like a win. For those in need of mental wellness support, Calm provides accessible and enjoyable tools to help reduce anxiety and stress, improve sleep, and build mindful habits. And when it comes to hitting the road with your family, the all-new Hyundai Santa Fe offers versatility and functionality to help you conquer weekends and enjoy every journey.

    Recognizing the signs of caring too much about others' opinions

    It's essential to be aware of the signs that indicate we care too much about what others think of us. This can manifest in subtle ways, such as being easily swayed or having difficulty saying no. It's natural to seek validation and insight from those around us, but when our decisions are consistently aligned with others' values instead of our own, it's time to reassess. Being aware of these signs and setting better boundaries can help us make decisions that align with our values and lead to greater personal fulfillment. Remember, it's okay to seek advice, but ultimately, we must trust ourselves and make decisions that serve our own goals and aspirations.

    Finding Balance Between Self and Others

    While it's natural to care about what others think and strive to please them, it's important to find a balance. Struggling to say no, constantly seeking others' approval, and outsourcing choices can stem from a lack of trust in ourselves. However, caring about what others think is necessary for developing closeness and a sense of belonging. It's crucial to understand that there are moments when it's healthy to listen to others and consider their opinions. Ultimately, it's about striking a balance between being true to ourselves and being considerate of others.

    Seeking advice from those who have gone through similar experiences

    Seeking advice and insights from those who have gone through an experience before you can be incredibly valuable. This doesn't mean their experience will be identical to yours, but their advice and insights can help you navigate challenges and understand the nuances of a situation. It's essential to differentiate between caring about what people think and what people think of you. Seeking advice from trusted individuals who care about you and are consistent in their support can lead to meaningful connections and growth. The four C's of connection are care, consistency, connection, and contribution. Care refers to those who have your best interest at heart, consistency to those who are always there for you, and connection to those who offer different perspectives. By seeking advice from a diverse group of individuals, you can expand your knowledge, overcome obstacles, and build strong relationships. So, don't hesitate to reach out to those who have walked the path before you. Their insights may be the key to unlocking new opportunities and achieving success.

    Filter advice based on care, consistency, competence, and character

    It's essential to be selective about who we seek advice from and value in our lives based on their care, consistency, competence, and character. Not everyone's opinion matters equally in every aspect of our lives. People who care for us, are consistent, competent, and have strong character are the ones whose opinions we should consider when making important decisions. It's crucial to recognize that not everyone is an expert in every field and that their opinions, while not necessarily invalid, may not be as valuable in certain areas. Therefore, it's essential to filter advice based on the category of the advisor and their relevance to the situation at hand. By doing so, we can make more informed decisions and avoid being sidetracked by unsolicited advice that may not align with our values or goals. So, take some time to reflect on the people in your life and categorize them based on care, consistency, competence, and character. This filtering tool will help you navigate life's challenges more effectively and ensure that you're making decisions that are in line with your values and goals.

    Gossiping about others harms our own lives

    Gossiping about others and focusing too much on their behaviors can negatively impact our own lives. When we engage in gossip, we project our own insecurities and challenges onto others, creating a harmful cycle. Moreover, focusing on others takes time and energy away from focusing on our own values, goals, and personal growth. It's essential to recognize the importance of being clear about our own values and ensuring they align with our actions and priorities. The auditing exercise of examining our values, where they came from, and whether they still serve us, can help us make necessary changes and live a more authentic and fulfilling life.

    Understanding Values Brings Clarity and Peace

    Having a clear understanding of our values allows us to accept outcomes that may not align with our expectations. This clarity enables us to maintain peace with ourselves. CVS Health is committed to providing comprehensive healthcare services, including virtual and in-person care, mental health support, and senior wellness destinations. Herbs, like ashwagandha, can be beneficial for both body and mind, and Nature's Way offers high-quality, tested herbal supplements. Traveling can help us discover new aspects of ourselves, and Booking.com offers a wide range of accommodations for various travel styles. Lastly, opinions do not dictate reality; they can influence our thoughts, but the true power lies in our actions.

    Trusting Yourself: Making Decisions Based on Inner Dialogue

    The opinions of others should not dictate our inner dialogue and decision-making. Our best decisions in life are not typically influenced by external validation or criticism. Instead, they stem from our own passions and convictions. Additionally, it's important to remember that people are not thinking about us as much as we might assume. This can help us reduce anxiety and focus on making decisions based on our own values and goals. To reflect on this idea, try making a list of your three best decisions in life and consider how much they were influenced by other people's opinions. Remember, it's okay if others didn't agree with your choices at the time, as long as they felt right for you. Overall, trusting yourself and your own judgment is key to making fulfilling decisions and living a happy, authentic life.

    Our perception of ourselves is influenced by others' opinions

    Our perception of ourselves can be influenced by what we believe others think of us. This idea, as stated by the speaker, is "I am what I think you think I am." It's essential to recognize this and strive to break free from this inception. Additionally, it's crucial to value the opinions of others based on their intentions and qualities. Remember, the speaker is always rooting for your growth and success. Another key takeaway is the importance of setting meaningful goals and finding purpose in achieving them. Don't settle for relief when you reach your goals; instead, seek out new challenges and growth opportunities. Lastly, planning and preparation are essential for unforgettable adventures. Use resources like Booking.com to help turn your travel dreams into reality. And don't forget, mental health support is accessible and important for everyone. Consider online therapy through BetterHelp for flexible, affordable, and convenient support.

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    Jamie and Jay ponder on the meaning of self-worth, distinguishing it from mere confidence and challenging the misguided belief that our value is tied to our physical appearance. We get to hear the detrimental effects of self-doubt and present empowering strategies to transform your relationship with rejection, offering a new perspective that fosters resilience and self-compassion. 

    And then the conversation dives deep into personal beliefs, urging us to identify and discard unhelpful misconceptions, while giving emphasis on why authenticity is crucial and its role in conjunction with other factors in achieving success. 

    In this interview, you'll learn:

    How to build self-worth

    How to distinguish confidence from self-worth

    How to handle rejection

    How to overcome self-doubt

    How to remain authentic

    Together, let's learn how to distinguish your worth from external validation, turn rejection into a stepping stone, and live authentically.

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    00:00 Intro

    03:17 Do You Feel Worthy Today?

    10:04 Confusing Confidence with Self Worth

    17:37 Your Weight Impacts Your Worth is a Lie 

    24:03 What Has Self Doubt Cost You?

    31:25 How to Change Your Relationship with Rejection

    37:02 The 4-Part R to Reframe Rejection

    44:00 You Need This Today

    48:13 Which Lie Are You Trying to Unlearn? 

    56:32 Authenticity Alone Doesn’t Guarantee Success

    Episode Resources:

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