A Different Many Paths - The Memoirs

We are talking about my ADHD. We are talking about how it caused issues with my teachers, professors, parents, and surrounding environment. ADHD shouldn't be a negative and if teachers, professors, parents, and your surrounding village cannot unsee it, or understand you .That is on them and not you. How as I got older I handle myself and people like me. I try to help educate them in different ways to be better for themselves to not let people place them in "boxes".

Taking on your surrounding energies can take a lot out of you. It took my being triggered to finally realize I was deeper in empathetic life. I owned it and looked at myself. I talk about the end of marriage to my relationship with my ma and the boundaries I create for my emotions

From being little and finding your love and career path to doing stuff now. We are all connected in what we do until we are little. It should never stop you from being 40,50,60,70, and even 80 to 90 to change a career path and learn something different. Everything we go through grows us, and us learning is a humbling experience in life. Those learning lessons (good or bad) is what grows us. Let's talk about this start of Career Path with me. My love to being animal lover to music to bikers and changing humanity.

We are going to talk stubborn. Is being stubborn meaning you are independent, or does it mean you are setting boundaries. Or ... are you just stubborn? Let's talk about situations in my life to make stubborn.

Let's talk about the deep intuition we have inside of us. We are going to talk about the things we go through that grows us. And stories with it.

We are going to talk about mental health through the years, and learning to be humbled. I have learned a lot over the years when it comes to how professors to parents to my support system did not listen to me, or assume. How it affected me at a young age. How now, I have learned so much. Now, I do not hold any thing against my past, but how I have learned and do things better now.

I hurt my back a few years back and it was painful. I had figure out how to grow from that. The doctor wanted me on major pain meds. I decided not to go that route just Advil, and stretches. I went through physcal therapy and figured out how grow from that. Now, I find ways in helping, but I still have boundaries in what I can and cannot do . Times where I can still push my back out, but I still am able to help in different ways. How do I emotionally do that, how do I stop placing how my peers think I should help, but help in different ways. I am more communicative in that. On top, I talk about how we show empathy and boundaries to people that may go through it. Communication is the key when it comes to everything.

When I was little guns were not a political conversation like they are now. They were a conversation about how to own them, if you want to own them you had a choice, and what happens if something happened. I remember when I was little when my first experience with a gun and how it affected my entire family. It also changed me growing up. And many other situations happened that caused me to be afraid of them. If it was not for my gun owner friends I would still be afraid of them. Thankfully they came in and educated me in a healthy manner. And it was not a political viewpoint, but a rights viewpoints. And I am honored now to walk beside them. I am honored to listen to them. We are going to go back a bit and start this dialogue. This will be more than a 1 parter. I am not sure when the others will come. Let's start this dialogue.

Here we have a dialogue of the start overall communication about my 14-15 years 6 married, and the rest after going through courts and visitation. I had to start somewhere. Next week we will go back and talk about the past. I have to break the ice someway. We will talk about boundaries, seeing a bigger picture, not assuming, and understanding more to the story. Most of all, years later we are still dealing with it, but with boundaries it has helped to pause them.

Death is a hard topic to talk about and it is up to us to do better in this topic. United States handles death as a job, or no empathy. The weird, and feelings is in a textbook instead of how we truly feel. We talk about my journey with health Psychology and how 1 professor changed my viewpoint with how to look at death, and people around it. The unexplained. It is hard to talk about these different viewpoints. I believe we need to for us to realize no right way of thinking, and the unknown is scary, but none of us have truly died and come back. I do believe in heaven, and higher power. Maybe not the way the Bible States fully. I believe a lot more to it than just a few books that were written years ago by living people. I loved to chat about it. I love to feel now, and accepting that this deeper path is important to talk about because it brings out the human in us all. We are so afraid of walking away from society norms. It is true sometimes our thoughts can be crazy. Maybe crazy can be a good thing too. Let's start the dialogue about death, healing, grieving, and empathy.

Strong Faith Memoir is about my walk with Jesus and my strong faith. I never had strong faith. I placed my faith in physical aspects, and men. I did know deep down not to follow the heard growing up. We talk about how I found Jesus. We talk about how I see Christianity as a faith. We talk about the fact life is not always easy when it comes to being with fellow christans. We talk about meeting other religions and how they are just as important in this life as we are. And more to this topic as we grow into a Different Many Paths. We do talk about the feelings we have that are deeper and how to trust in that.

Advice...it is a tough word to deal with, but it is all around us. We do not have to take advice, and vise versa...they do not have take your advice. How do we find those healthy boundaries. How do we overcome those issues to listen to people that are different than us. It is important to listen and apprecaite different view points. I love asking different people what they would do in a certain situation because to me it is like peer reviewing journals. So many different viewpoints. Does not mean I will take it, but it will full fill my life much more and beyond. It is important to apprecaite people's advice. Also still have healthy boundaries on all sides.

Friendships and how we control ourselves. Friendships are not easy in todays world. With dealing with the "cool kids table" to expectations that are not human. How do we grow, keep boundaries, forgive, and move forward. Friendships are not like a Facebook friends list. They take work, but time can get in the way. We talk about the healthy boundaries in all different type of friendships.

The darkness that engulfs us is not just a chemical imbalance scientists state. It is also in our environment to our own personal support system..to how we live, and what we eat. How to get out of it. I have fought depression with a lot of many other things since I was little. I am going to help show I still have depression, but how I can turn it around to make it not so sad. Make myself heal to find happiness.

We talk about many different memories going on with my 35 years of life with feeling beautiful, and how I overcame and what I did to find beauty within myself. Not an easy conversation it has a lot of dialogue with it.

Reflecting off of someone and deflecting the toxic. We talk about how we can overcome and control oneselves. That everyone has an opinion, but we do not have to take that opinion. That it is important to apprecaite the differences. "It is not what you say, but how you say it". And to coexist with people in a healthy way because we are all human and different.

The deeper we feel is important. I have learned to trust myself over the years. It wasn't until I was 33 years of age that I realized my strength, and my dislikes. I realized that a lot to how we react to each other. Life is not always easy, and a lot of people want to control the dialogue of how you are supposed to be. This podcast is about the deeper side of things. About me finding out I was an empathetic person on a deeper level. That I knew things. How I keep it within my close friends and family; now is prodcasted every where. It never changes who I am. We talk about the"I am sorrys" in death to maybe allow people to grieve their own way. And loving them. We have such a small time on this Earth in the spect of things. We are all so different, but so many similiarties. I am a Christian female, but I handle my Christianity different than main stream. I am going to talk about that. As a coexister.

I have been a classically trained french horn player for over 13 plus years. I put down my horn 9 years ago when my son went into the hospital because I just was drawning. At that point I built myself up in different ways and found my mental self again. I sold my horn a year ago after debating on how would music continue my life; it always will be there. I still sing, and still do piano. A few days ago I read a post from a horn player I have met along the way that has anxiety. This one is for you. This one is for every classical and all genera musician that feels that are hurting. Anxiety does a lot, but it is also our mentors that nurture it. It is not a good thing. This is the start of the conversation we will have. No names are mentioned. No schools. Everything is between. I do not mind talking about it first hand one-on-one. I never mention names. I pray we do better not only as teachers..but as students because we are all students and teachers. Go do auditions for any symphony. Do not let anyone stop you. We place ourselves in boxes. If you mentors our..than you need new mentors.

The Big Pharma is a huge issue in our world today and I personally have been through it with them. This is my story. This is one story out of money. It is an overcoming journey and a lot more to it. We will start talking about this as weeks progress. Here is the start of it.

Feeling good enough is not always easy for someone that has overcome emotional abuse from your own family, certain friends, certain teachers you have had growing up, and maybe even certain people you run into in life. We are human. It has been a rough month for me. and I am going to talk about this.