You Asked, I Answered: Don’t Blame Me for Delivering the Hard Truth

    enSeptember 25, 2023

    Podcast Summary

    • Balancing Acts: Nurturing Healthy FriendshipsKnowing when to let go of imbalanced friendships allows you to invest your energy in relationships that truly benefit and support you.

      Friendships require give and take. It's important to be there for your friend during hard times, understanding that they may not be able to support you in the same way. However, if you consistently feel like you're giving more than you're getting, it may be time to walk away from the friendship. Sustained feelings of imbalance, where you're always making the effort, asking about them, and making plans, without seeing the same effort in return, is a sign that the friendship is no longer worth it. Remember, not everyone is meant to be in your life forever, and it's okay to redirect your energy towards friendships that bring out the best in you.

    • Evaluating and prioritizing your relationships is key to happiness and fulfillment.Invest your time and energy in relationships that reciprocate your efforts and uplift you, while letting go of one-sided relationships and unrealistic expectations.

      It's important to evaluate your friendships and invest your time and energy wisely. If you find yourself constantly giving to a friend without receiving much in return, it's okay to pull back and prioritize relationships that uplift and fulfill you. Friendship is a two-way street, and if the effort is not reciprocated, it may not be a true friendship after all. Similarly, in romantic relationships, it's crucial to let go of fantasies and see how the person truly shows up. It's better to realize on your own that you've been investing in a one-sided relationship than to have someone else reveal it to you abruptly. Additionally, it's essential to redefine friendship and not expect constant contact, as true friends will be there for you even if you don't spend much time together.

    • Prioritize your energy and upgrade your expectations to maximize positive relationships and make confident decisions.Stop investing in unreciprocated relationships and focus on those that bring you energy and positivity. Use objectification and borrow confidence from others to make decisions. Highlight your value when negotiating salaries.

      You should stop pouring your energy into people or things that don't give you anything back. Instead, practice the Let Them Theory and stop chasing after everyone. By doing this, you allow the other person to show up or not, giving you a clear understanding of what you're dealing with. Another takeaway is to upgrade your friendship expectations. Don't waste time and effort on relationships that don't bring you energy or positivity. When making decisions, use objectification and ask yourself what someone you respect would do. Borrow confidence and decisiveness from others when you need it. Finally, when negotiating a salary, focus on proving your value by highlighting the contributions and problems you've solved, rather than comparing yourself to others.

    • Therapy: A Luxury and Privilege for EveryoneTherapy is a valuable opportunity for self-exploration and growth, available to everyone regardless of their mental state. It is a gift that individuals can give themselves to improve their lives.

      Therapy is not reserved for only those who are "fucked up" or have something wrong with them. It is a luxury and privilege that every human being on the planet deserves. Therapy is a conversation about your life, thoughts, habits, hopes and dreams, relationships, and the obstacles and challenges you face. It is an intentional and objective discussion with someone who is trained to listen and help untangle your thoughts and behaviors. You are not responsible for their feelings, allowing for a safe space to explore and amplify what is going well in your life. So instead of telling someone they need therapy, emphasize that therapy is a gift they can give to themselves.

    • Therapy as a Catalyst for Personal Growth and SuccessBy reframing therapy as a valuable tool for achieving our goals and improving our well-being, we can make it more appealing and productive, helping to save relationships and prioritize mental health.

      Therapy should be reframed as a tool for personal growth and success, rather than a last resort for those who can afford it. If we understand the potential benefits of working with a therapist to achieve our goals and improve our well-being, it becomes more enticing and appealing. Therapy sessions are not limited to lying on a couch and sharing sob stories; they can be productive and focused on strategizing solutions for work and personal relationships. While we cannot force someone to seek therapy, it is our responsibility to express our concerns and boundaries, making it clear that their mental health affects us as well. Effective communication and setting clear boundaries can prevent resentment from building up and ultimately save relationships.

    • The Power of Boundaries and Communication in Personal Growth and RelationshipsSetting boundaries, communicating openly, seeking professional help, and taking action are essential for personal well-being and supporting the well-being of loved ones.

      Setting boundaries and expressing concerns can be crucial for personal growth and relationship success. Mel Robbins shares her experience with her husband's depression and how she had to establish a boundary by urging him to seek medication recommended by professionals. This decision ultimately allowed him to climb out of the mental hole and benefit from therapy. By expressing her boundary, she freed herself from resentment and the desire to control him. This situation highlights the importance of open communication, research, and seeking professional help when necessary. It also emphasizes the significance of addressing concerns within relationships and taking action in order to support personal well-being and the well-being of loved ones.

    • Embracing the Midlife Opportunity with Age and Wisdom.With age comes the chance to grow, learn, and pivot towards meaningful experiences, leveraging both knowledge and technology. The best years of our lives are yet to come.

      Age brings wisdom, experience, and the opportunity for growth. As Mel Robbins shares her thoughts on getting older, she emphasizes that the years after 40 are not a midlife crisis but rather a midlife opportunity. With more knowledge, a broader network, and the ability to embrace failure as learning experiences, individuals can pivot and create something meaningful. The advancements in technology also provide leverage for those willing to explore and be curious. Instead of longing for the past, it's important to recognize the value of the present moment and the potential that comes with age. The best years of our lives can truly be as we get older.

    • Approaching Hearing Loss with Empathy and UnderstandingWhen addressing hearing loss, it's important to consider the emotional impact and potential fears or reservations of individuals, especially older generations. Find creative ways to approach the subject and have productive conversations about seeking help and support.

      It's important to approach sensitive topics like hearing loss with empathy and understanding. Mel Robbins points out that there may be deeper issues at play, such as fear, pride, or feeling vulnerable. It's crucial to consider the emotional impact of admitting and addressing hearing loss, especially for individuals from older generations who may have been taught to avoid discussing their feelings. Instead of simply nagging or pressuring your husband, Robbins suggests finding creative ways to approach the subject, such as planning a fun outing or using humor to make your point. By acknowledging and empathizing with the potential fears or reservations, you can have a more productive conversation about seeking help and support.

    • Going below the surface for stronger connectionsConnecting on a deeper level and addressing insecurities with compassion and understanding can improve dynamics and create stronger relationships.

      In relationships, it is important to connect on a deeper level and understand what is going on beneath the surface. Often, frustrations arise because we are not connecting at this deeper level and instead focusing on surface-level issues. It is essential to show compassion and use humor to address insecurities and vulnerabilities in our partners. Additionally, it is crucial to recognize that some people may have a stubborn and resistant nature, but approaching them with understanding and empathy can help improve the dynamics in the relationship. By making an effort to connect on a deeper level and address underlying issues, we can create stronger, more fulfilling relationships.

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