Research From Princeton: 13 Proven Hacks That Boost Your Influence & Make You More Confident

    enAugust 10, 2023

    Podcast Summary

    • Developing Charisma for Authentic Connections and Lasting ImpressionsCharisma is not limited to extroverts. By understanding and practicing the principles of charisma, anyone can make genuine connections, leaving positive lasting impressions in various aspects of life.

      Charisma is not limited to extroverted and bubbly individuals. Charisma is a trait that can be developed and utilized by anyone, regardless of their personality type. Vanessa Van Edwards, a renowned expert on charisma and body language, emphasizes that charisma is about making a genuine connection with others and leaving a positive impression. She explains that charisma is not about being the life of the party, but rather about being authentic and confident in oneself. By understanding the principles of charisma and incorporating effective body language and communication skills, individuals can appear more confident and make a lasting impact on others. Developing charisma can be beneficial in various aspects of life, such as job interviews, promotions, and building relationships.

    • Unveiling the Power of Charisma: The Key to Success in Relationships and Professional Life.Charisma is the missing ingredient that activates success in all aspects of life. It can be learned through specific cues and social signals, allowing for smoother and more effective social interactions.

      Charisma is the single most important aspect of being successful. It is the missing ingredient that triggers and activates success in relationships and professional life. Charisma is not dependent on extroversion, attractiveness, athleticism, or intelligence. Highly charismatic people constantly signal high warmth, trustworthiness, and likability, along with a balance of high competence and effectiveness. Charisma impacts all aspects of confidence, personality, and success more than any other attribute. The good news is that charisma can be learned through a specific set of cues and social signals. It is essential to show these signals because without them, the world cannot believe your competence, even if you are highly intelligent. Charisma acts as a social lubricant, making social interactions smooth and effective.

    • Overcoming Awkwardness and Building Charisma for Better Relationships and ConversationsDeveloping charisma can help individuals overcome awkwardness, be more influential, and create a comfortable atmosphere for better social interactions.

      Awkwardness, which manifests differently in individuals, is often a result of fear. Some people's awkwardness presents itself as shutting down due to the fear of rejection or criticism, while others may become extroverted and overly talkative as a defense mechanism. Awkwardness can hinder effective communication, making relationships and conversations seem crunchy and faulty. Charisma, described as a skill that anyone can develop, acts as a lubricant to smoothen these interactions. It helps individuals be themselves, be more influential, and enjoy social settings regardless of introversion or extroversion. The key is to strike a balance between warmth and competence, creating an atmosphere where others feel comfortable and can open up like Oprah does in her interviews.

    • Harnessing Different Forms of CharismaCharisma can be cultivated by balancing warmth and competence, regardless of being extroverted or introverted. Finding your own style of charisma can greatly influence others.

      Charisma can come in different forms and can be harnessed by both extroverted and introverted individuals. Vanessa explains that a person can balance warmth and competence, using their kindness and intelligence to draw people in and ask the hard questions. She gives examples of Jackie Kennedy, who had a quiet but powerful charisma, and Steve Jobs, who lacked warmth and came across as cold and intimidating. Highly competent individuals often struggle with signaling warmth, but one way to do so is by sharing their emotions, although they may not be comfortable with this approach. It is important to find your own flavor of charisma and realize the impact it has on others.

    • Balancing Competence and Warmth for SuccessFinding a balance between being competent and warm is key to success in both personal and professional life, as it allows for effective problem-solving and building trust and respect.

      Individuals who are highly competent tend to struggle with emotions because emotions cannot be fact-checked. They prefer solving problems and finding solutions rather than simply listening and empathizing. On the other hand, highly warm individuals, who are filled with empathy and nurturing, often give too much of themselves in order to be liked. This desire for being liked can hinder their ability to gain respect in the workplace. Additionally, both the need to be right and the need to be liked can unintentionally send signals and cues that make people not trust or respect an individual, ultimately affecting their influence, impact, and income. Therefore, individuals should strive for balance between being competent and warm in order to be more successful in their professional and personal lives.

    • The Power of Charisma: How it affects perception and personal successCharisma is key in making a lasting impact and influencing others. Understanding and evaluating your own charisma is essential for improving interactions and building better relationships.

      Charisma plays a significant role in how people evaluate and judge you, accounting for 82% of their perception. It is not only important for making more money and being influential but also for making a lasting impact. Warmth and competence are the two main factors that make up charisma, and they are used by others to form judgments about you, whether it's in person, on social media, or through email interactions. This means that every impression you make, including first impressions, is crucial. Your level of warmth and competence signals to the world how they should treat you. It is essential to understand your own charisma through self-evaluation and taking diagnostic tests, such as the one on Science of People's website, to improve your interactions and build better relationships.

    • The importance of showing your hands in the first 10 seconds of a Zoom call or any interaction for establishing charisma and influence.Showing your hands within the first second of an interaction creates trust and warmth, while hiding them creates uncertainty and mistrust. Establishing openness and intention in the first 10 seconds sets the stage for a successful interaction.

      The first 10 seconds of a Zoom call or any interaction are crucial for establishing charisma and influence. Vanessa explains that showing your hands within the first second is important because the brain instinctively looks for warmth and trustworthiness in the hands. This stems from a survival mechanism where our ancestors needed to determine if someone posed a threat. By hiding our hands, we create uncertainty and activate the amygdala, leading to distraction and mistrust. However, by promptly revealing our hands, we establish a sense of openness and intention. Whether it's in a virtual meeting, interview, or even meeting someone in person, nailing the first 10 seconds sets the stage for a successful interaction.

    • Effective On-Camera Presentation TipsHand gestures and camera distance play crucial roles in engaging viewers, while avoiding question inflection enhances credibility.

      There are two important factors to consider when presenting oneself on camera: hand gestures and the distance between the face and the camera. Hand gestures are universally liked and help to deactivate fear processing, making the speaker more engaging to the audience. Furthermore, the distance between the face and the camera is crucial in establishing a comfortable and appropriate level of intimacy with viewers. Being too close to the camera can signal too much intimacy, while being too far away may create a sense of distance. It is recommended to keep the camera at least a foot and a half away from the face. Additionally, it is important to avoid using question inflection when presenting important information, as it can create doubt and undermine credibility.

    • The Influence of Vocal Tone and Behavior on PerceptionsOur vocal tone and behavior within the first few seconds of interaction can shape how others perceive our skills and likability, impacting their trust in us and potentially leading to negative outcomes like malpractice lawsuits.

      Our perception of someone's skills and likability can be influenced by their vocal tone and behavior within the first few seconds of hearing them. Doctors with lower warmth and competence ratings based on their voice tone had the highest rate of malpractice lawsuits. This suggests that we dislike people not just based on their skills, but based on our perception of their skills. Additionally, using uptalk or question inflection on statements can cause others to question and scrutinize us. It's important to be aware of our vocal power and make subtle behavior changes, such as maintaining the right distance from the camera and avoiding uptalk, to convey confidence and competence. By under-signaling warmth and competence, we may unintentionally affect how others treat us and perceive our abilities.

    • Overcoming Uptalk: Conveying Confidence and Authority in Communication.Uptalk, commonly used by women as a permission-seeking behavior, can undermine confidence and authority. However, by focusing on breath, pausing, and using a downward inflection, individuals can improve their communication skills and command attention.

      Using uptalk, ending sentences with a rising intonation that makes statements sound like questions, is often a permission-seeking behavior rooted in a desire to be liked. Women tend to use uptalk more than men, as they are often socialized from a young age to prioritize being liked and seen as warm. However, uptalk can undermine confidence and authority. Fortunately, uptalk can be easily fixed by focusing on breath and pausing. Speaking with purpose, on the outbreath, and using a downward inflection at the end of sentences can convey confidence and command attention. Becoming aware of these vocal patterns and making intentional changes can significantly improve communication skills.

    • Effective Communication Techniques: Breath Control and Genuine Facial ExpressionsUtilize breath control to relax your vocal chords and speak with a confident voice. Focus on genuine facial expressions, especially smiles that reach your eyes, to convey sincerity and warmth in communication.

      When speaking, it is important to utilize your breath and vocal range effectively. By speaking on the outbreath, you can relax your vocal chords and produce a more relaxed and competent voice. It is crucial to avoid speaking too high on the breath, as it can make your voice sound strained. Another takeaway is the significance of genuine facial expressions, particularly when it comes to smiling. Fake smiles are easily recognized and do not convey true warmth or positivity. Instead, focus on genuine smiles that reach your eyes, as they are more memorable and convey sincerity. In addition to smiling, there are other warmth cues to consider when trying to come across as warm and approachable.

    • Non-Verbal Cues for Warm and Authentic CommunicationIncorporating non-verbal cues like slow triple nodding, tilting your head, and vocalizations can enhance charisma, make others feel heard, and convey warmth and competence.

      There are various non-verbal cues that can convey warmth and authenticity in communication, aside from just smiling. One such cue is the slow triple nod, which signals engagement and encourages the speaker to share more. Tiltling your head slightly during a conversation or in your LinkedIn profile picture is also seen as a warm gesture, indicating active listening. In addition to non-verbal cues, vocal cues play a significant role in conveying warmth. Vocalizations, such as saying "ooh" or "ah," show that you are actively listening and create a sense of warmth in the conversation. These cues are particularly helpful for introverts who want to participate without speaking. By incorporating these cues, you can enhance your charisma and inspire others by gifting them with warmth and competence.

    • Power of Warm Verbal Cues in Virtual MeetingsUsing warm and appreciative language in virtual meetings promotes trust and connection, while avoiding distracting actions and maintaining proper body language enhances engagement and credibility.

      Using warm verbal cues can stimulate connection and influence others in a virtual meeting. Research has shown that using warm words like "virtual high five," "digital hug," or expressing warmth and appreciation can trigger a physiological response in the other person, promoting warmth, trust, and connection. On the other hand, there are also danger zone cues to avoid in a virtual meeting, such as not fronting with the camera. Fronting, which means aligning your toes, torso, and head towards the camera, helps establish credibility and openness. Angling out, having the camera on the side, or distracting actions like typing can create disengagement. It is crucial to create a setup where you are on parallel lines with the other person and maintain proper body language both in virtual and in-person meetings.

    • The power of body language and choice of wordsOur body language, including subtle signals, can indicate our desire to end a conversation. Additionally, the words we choose in emails can impact how others think, feel, and respond. Being intentional with our cues and words can shape how others perceive us and interact with us. Learning these skills can have a positive impact in our interactions.

      Body language, even in subtle ways like the angle of your toes, can communicate your desire to leave a conversation. This can help others pick up on the fact that you may be ready to move on. In addition, when it comes to writing emails, the choice of words can greatly influence how the recipient thinks, feels, and behaves. Warm and collaborative words can foster a positive and cooperative response, while competent and efficient words can encourage productivity. By being intentional with the cues we give and the words we use, we can shape how others perceive and interact with us. It is also important to remember that anyone can learn the skills to have the "it" factor and make a positive impact in their interactions.

    Recent Episodes from The Mel Robbins Podcast

    This One Hack Will Unlock Your Happier Life

    This One Hack Will Unlock Your Happier Life

    Today, you are going to learn one of the best science-backed hacks to feel happier, more connected, and even make you more successful. 

    The simple tools Mel shares today will boost your mood, lower your stress, and make your life more meaningful.

    In this deeply personal episode, you’ll learn 4 specific applications of this powerful and profound research – and you may be surprised by how simple it is to find and bring into your life.

    By the time you finish listening, you’ll be inspired to take immediate action to create a positive ripple effect in your life and your relationships.

    For more resources, including links to the studies mentioned in the episode, click here for the podcast episode page. 

    If you liked this episode, you’ll love listening to this episode next with Dr. Adam Alter, who is mentioned in today’s episode: 6 Simple Science-Backed Hacks That Will Make Your Life Better

    Connect with Mel:


    The Most Important Sex Advice No One Ever Told You: Revamp Your Sex Life in 10 Minutes

    The Most Important Sex Advice No One Ever Told You: Revamp Your Sex Life in 10 Minutes

    Do you want to have better sex?

    Or even know how often you should be having sex – according to research?

    Today, Dr. Rena Malik, MD is in the house to answer all of your uncomfortable sex questions.

    Dr. Malik is an absolute powerhouse who is known for her viral, no-shame, straight-to-the-point advice on how to have the best sex of your life. 

    She is a top urologist, pelvic surgeon, and sexual health expert – and she’s here today giving you the truth, based on medical research, on things like G-spots, orgasms, libido, and even erectile dysfunction. 

    You’ll also learn the single biggest thing that you are getting wrong in your sex life, according to one of the top urologists in the country.

    Dr. Malik is an assistant professor at the University of Maryland School of Medicine and the Director of Female Pelvic Medicine & Reconstructive Surgery. She is also a researcher who has published over 100 peer-reviewed research articles, multiple review articles, and book chapters.

    You're going to want to share this conversation and all the juicy details with every one of your friends, and most importantly, your significant other.

    Great sex starts today.

    For more resources, including links to Dr. Rena Malik’s research, website, and social media, click here for the podcast episode page. 

    If you liked this research-packed episode, you’ll love listening to this episode next: The #1 Neuroscientist: After Listening to This, Your Brain Will Not Be the Same.

    Connect with Mel:


    How To Stop Waking Up Feeling Tired: 7 Tips From a Harvard Researcher

    How To Stop Waking Up Feeling Tired: 7 Tips From a Harvard Researcher

    In today’s episode, you’ll learn the real reason why you’re always tired – and how to fix it. 

    If you want to wake up every morning feeling refreshed, energized, focused, and in control, you need to get the best sleep of your life – every night.

    Today, you’ll learn 7 easy, accessible, science-backed tips that will help you (and the people you love) perfect your sleep and as a result give you (almost) limitless energy.

    Joining Mel on the podcast today is the renowned Harvard sleep scientist Dr. Rebecca Robbins, PhD. 

    Dr. Robbins is a Research Investigator in the Division of Sleep and Circadian Disorders and the Departments of Medicine and Neurology at Brigham and Women's Hospital, and an Assistant Professor of Medicine at Harvard Medical School.

    You’ll love the simple, free, and evidence-backed tips that Dr. Robbins shares. These easy habits will boost morning energy, make you feel incredible, and best of all: you can easily add them into your life today.

    For more resources, including links to Dr. Rebecca Robbins research, website, and social media, click here for the podcast episode page. 

    Want to know what to listen to next? Mel shared Dr. Rebecca Robbins’ research on an episode about evening routines: 4 Easy Nighttime Habits to Feel Energized & Sleep Better.

    And, you’ll also love this hit episode, which also cites Dr. Robbins’ work: 3 Small Decisions That Make You Feel Incredible: Do This Every Morning After Waking Up

    Connect with Mel:


    Master Class on How To Fix Your Digestive Issues & Gut Health (With a Renowned GI Doctor)

    Master Class on How To Fix Your Digestive Issues & Gut Health (With a Renowned GI Doctor)

    Two-thirds of people have a stomach or gut issue. Do you want to know exactly what to do to feel better? 

    In today’s episode, you’re getting an appointment with one of the most renowned GI doctors in the world. 

    She is here today with her step-by-step protocol to help you reset your gut health, beat the bloat, and find more energy today.

    Dr. Robynne Chutkan, MD is a renowned gastroenterologist. For two decades, her integrative clinic, Digestive Center for Wellness, has helped patients to help them uncover the root cause of GI disorders. She’s worked at Georgetown Hospital for 27 years and has a deep wealth of knowledge and experience.

    She is going to inform you of the simple things that you can do starting today to:

    - Have a healthier gut

    - Beat the bloat

    - Settle your IBS

    - And address constipation once and for all

    You’ll get her nutritional plan to heal stomach problems and optimize your gut for mental and physical health… and you’ll even learn exactly WHAT your poo should look like (and when you should go to the doctor).

    This is THE master class on your gut health, and it’s filled with compelling, tactical, and easy to understand science.

    For more resources, including links to Dr. Robynne Chutkan’s research, website, and social media click here for the podcast episode page. 

    If you liked this research-packed episode, you’ll love this episode with Dr. Mark Hyman: Reset Your Health in 10 Days: Advice From a Renowned MD

    Connect with Mel:


    Before You Waste Time, Listen to This

    Before You Waste Time, Listen to This

    In today’s episode, you’re going to learn how to take back control of your time. 

    New research shows that you’ll spend 20 years of your life on your screens. 

    It’s time to stop wasting your time – and your life – and learn how to use technology in a way that works for you, your brain, and your body.

    Here to deliver the wake up call of a lifetime is Dr. Alok Kanojia, MD.

    Dr. Kanojia, also known as Dr. K, is a Harvard-trained psychiatrist specializing in modern mental health and the impact of technology on the brain. He is beloved by the millions of fans of his YouTube channel Healthy Gamer for his clear, no-nonsense advice about motivation, technology, and making the most of your life.

    You will be shocked by what Dr. K shares with you about:

    - Why you feel tired all the time.

    - The impact that looking at your phone in your has on your attention span.

    - Why you don’t want to do anything after binging hours of social media.

    - How to know if you truly have a problem with your technology.

    - The exact scripts to talk to someone whose phone, social media, or game use is concerning you. 

    This episode is a resource that you are absolutely going to want to share with everyone that you know.

    For more resources, including links to Dr. Alok Kanojia’s research, website, and social media, click here for the podcast episode page. 

    If you liked this research-packed episode, you’ll love this episode with NYU’s Dr. Adam Alter, that also discusses the impact of technology: 6 Simple Science-Backed Hacks That Will Make Your Life Better.

    Connect with Mel:


    Transform Your Life at Any Moment: The Surprising Science of Happiness

    Transform Your Life at Any Moment: The Surprising Science of Happiness

    Today, you’ll learn the surprising science of what creates a meaningful life, based on 8 decades of research.  

    This conversation is so profound that you might need to take a second listen. 

    Prepare to laugh, cry, and leave feeling empowered to find and create the happiness and connection that you want. 

    Because the truth is, you can transform your life at any moment. 

    There is nothing more important than this conversation. 

    Because by the time you are done listening, you will understand how one tiny step might just change how you think about your entire life. 

    Get ready to be blown away by the groundbreaking research and heartwarming stories that will prove just how powerful unexpected connections can truly be. 

    And more importantly, how you can start making them today. 

    For more resources, click here for the podcast episode page. 

    If you liked this episode, you’ll love this conversation with Harvard’s Dr. Robert Waldinger: What Makes a Good Life? Lessons From the Longest Study on Happiness

    This episode is sponsored by our exclusive insurance partner, Amica.

    Connect with Mel:


    How to Motivate Yourself (and Others) to Change Any Behavior

    How to Motivate Yourself (and Others) to Change Any Behavior

    Do you want to know the secret to unlocking motivation in yourself or someone you love? 

    If you want to change any behavior for the better…. 

    Or if you’ve got someone in your life (don’t we all?!) who you wish would change… 

    Today’s episode is for you. 

    You’ll learn why guilt, pressure, fear, crying, threats, and ultimatums will not help anyone change, and there’s a scientific reason why. 

    Then, you’ll learn the 3 very specific tactics that inspire anyone to quickly change their behavior for the better, including specific scripts that you can use with even the most stubborn people.

    Teaching you today is #1 neuroscientist, Dr. Tali Sharot. She’s here to debunk the myths of behavior change and teach you how to make any change, big or small. 

    Dr. Sharot is a behavioral neuroscientist, professor at both University College London and MIT,  and the director of the Affective Brain Lab at University College London.

    Her research integrates neuroscience, behavioral economics, and psychology to study motivation and behavior change.

    By the time you finish listening, you’ll know EXACTLY what to do to create any change you want.

    For more resources, including links to Dr. Tali Sharot’s research, website, and social media click here for the podcast episode page. 

    If you liked this research-packed episode, you’ll love this episode: The #1 Neuroscientist: After Listening to This, Your Brain Will Not Be the Same.

    Connect with Mel:


    The Best Relationship Advice No One Ever Told You

    The Best Relationship Advice No One Ever Told You

    Do you want to know the best relationship advice no one has ever told you before? 

    In today’s episode, Mel is revealing the one rule about relationships you must know.

    There is a game-changing framework that will help any relationship go the distance, and once you hear it, you’ll want to share it with everyone you know. 

    It reveals why some relationships fail, and it also gives you the secret to sustaining a strong and successful relationship.

    Here to explain this “4 Levels” framework is New York Times bestselling author Matthew Hussey.

    Matthew has been helping people for more than 17 years to feel more confident and in control of their relationships. His YouTube channel is number one in the world for love life advice, with over half a billion views.

    By the end of today’s episode, you’ll know when it’s time to let go of a relationship, when it’s worth fighting for, and the 4 habits of all successful relationships.

    For more resources, including links to Matthew Hussey’s new book and his videos, click here for the podcast episode page. 

    If you liked this episode, you’ll want to listen to this one next: 3 Simple Ways to Get the Love You Want.

    Connect with Mel:


    #1 Stress Doctor: 5 Tools to Protect Your Brain From Stress & Feel Calmer Now

    #1 Stress Doctor: 5 Tools to Protect Your Brain From Stress & Feel Calmer Now

    After today, you will never think about stress the same way again.

    You’ll learn exactly what to do to take control of your stress, stay calm under pressure, and find instant relief.

    Harvard’s Dr. Aditi Nerurkar is here today to explain stress and how it relates to your body and brain. 

    Dr. Aditi is a medical doctor, researcher, and world-renowned expert in stress and public health. 

    She's a lecturer at Harvard Medical School and was the medical director of Harvard's Beth Israel Deaconess Hospital's integrative medicine program, where she developed an enormous clinical practice in stress management using evidence-based integrative approaches to help her patients feel better.

    Today, she is going to give you a reimagined approach to overcoming your stress and burnout using five small but mighty mindset shifts.

    These mindset shifts are free, backed by science, and can be applied to your life starting today.

    By the time you finish listening, you will feel uplifted, empowered, and inspired to rest your stress, rewire your brain, move out of survival mode, and start thriving again.

    For more resources, including links to Dr. Aditi Nerurkar’s research, website, and social media, click here for the podcast episode page. 

    If you liked this research-packed episode, your next listen should be Mel’s conversation with Dr. Tara Swart, MD, PhD: The #1 Neuroscientist: After Listening to This, Your Brain Will Not Be the Same.

    Connect with Mel:


    Live a Healthier, Happier, and Longer Life: The Secrets to Feeling Young Forever

    Live a Healthier, Happier, and Longer Life: The Secrets to Feeling Young Forever

    Today, an absolute powerhouse is here to give you the key to living a longer, happier, healthier, and more meaningful life. 

    “I’m 86, but I look and feel 57,” says Mel’s mother-in-law, Judie Robbins. 

    Judie is the most happy, alive, vibrant, and well-connected person Mel knows. 

    She’s back on the podcast and is sharing her best life advice and all new secrets for longevity, vitality, and how to create a long and happy life that you actually enjoy. 

    You’ll also learn the crucial life lessons that most people learn too late, but you won’t after what you hear today.

    After today’s episode, you’ll know one thing for sure:

    No matter your age, the best years of your life are ahead of you.

    For more resources, click here for the podcast episode page. 

    If you liked this episode, here’s one you should listen to next: 5 Small Habits That Will Change Your Life Forever.

    To hear Judie Robbins’ first appearance on The Mel Robbins Podcast, which focuses on her daily routines, listen here: This 85-Year-Old Badass Does More Than You & Me (Steal Her 7 Amazing Secrets).

    Connect with Mel:


    Related Episodes

    The Hidden Treasure Buried in a Turn-Around Situation

    The Hidden Treasure Buried in a Turn-Around Situation
    No one likes to admit when a turn-around is needed. This happens whether we’re driving a car or running an organization! There’s judgment of self and others for messing up the directions. Time seems wasted, people are waiting and we’re uncertain of the outcome. br Deep within the minefield of a troubled organization, its people are struggling. Battle fatigue. Lost potential. Loss of trust. Defensive posturing. Who’s leading the charge and do we want to follow? br Transforming a company is about finding the people buried in the rubble that rise out of the ashes and contribute to their highest potential. It’s the hidden treasures, when discovered, that can lead the charge to success. br No one knows better than today’s guest, K C Gauldine. K C has been actively involved as a C-Level consultant and interim CEO in turning around businesses who are struggling. With over 30+ years of experience, K C ascribes to the fact that “People are the Bottom Line” and therein lies the solution.

    130: A Dose of Wisdom from an Extraordinary Sales Leader

    130: A Dose of Wisdom from an Extraordinary Sales Leader

    What does it take to create a positive culture in a competitive sales environment? Vince Burruano shares answers to that question and more in this outstanding interview. Vince works with purpose and intention every day to provide opportunities for learning and development for each member of his sales team. He’s also been committed to his own growth, and he firmly believes that leaders need to be a model in this area for their teams. It was inspiring to hear Vince describe all the ways he fosters an open, honest and safe environment. 

     Vince is Vice President of Sales for the Commercial Division of JK Moving Services, the nation’s largest independent mover, based in Sterling, Virginia. As a leader, Vince promotes a culture that values trust, respect, and collaboration in order to foster continuous improvement. He’s the author of A Daily Dose of Sales Wisdom, a book that offers practical advice for sales professionals and leaders who want to excel.

     You’ll discover: 

    • The importance of scheduling regular 1-1 meetings with each team member…and what to cover in those conversations
    • How Vince uses books with his team to help them make continuous improvements
    • What Vince and his team did to ensure the company thrived during COVID
    • The strengths Vince has identified and enjoys most in millennial workers
    • Why mindset has been a key component in the success Vince has experienced since his early years in sales

    Check out all the episodes
    Leave a review on Apple Podcasts
    Connect with Meredith on LinkedIn
    Follow Meredith on Twitter
    Download the free ebook Listen Like a Pro

    159: How to Identify the Mouse in the Room

    159: How to Identify the Mouse in the Room

    We all know about the “elephant in the room.” But what about those less obvious thoughts and feelings you might be having?

     My guest David Wood describes them in his captivating new book, The Mouse in The Room – Because the Elephant Isn’t Alone. You won’t want to miss out on the mice he names during our conversation…and the simple 3-D process you can use to determine if you want to bring them up.

     We’re at a time when our world needs more vulnerability, transparency, and connection. David’s experiences make him the ideal person to teach us how to do that. He built the world’s largest coaching business and coached thousands of hours in 12 countries, and he’s advised business owners and leaders. The Mouse in The Room can be a powerful guide to fostering more connection, influence, and understanding with the people who matter to you, both at work and at home.

     You’ll discover: 

    • What “mouse naming” is and why it’s important for your wellbeing
    • What Toleration Mouse and Desire Mouse are connected to
    • Why we tend to hide our mice…from ourselves and from others
    • The impact that self-esteem has on our ability or willingness to identify mice and talk about them
    • How to receive a mouse from someone else without getting defensive 

    Check out all the episodes
    Leave a review on Apple Podcasts
    Connect with Meredith on LinkedIn
    Follow Meredith on Twitter
    Download the free ebook Listen Like a Pro

    140. Best of: How to Handle a Skeptical Audience

    140. Best of: How to Handle a Skeptical Audience

    Preparing to speak in front of a skeptical audience is more than thinking about objections beforehand – there are specific techniques you can use to respond to these challenging situations without sounding defensive, evasive, or dismissive. Here, we offer a few key tips for how to handle skepticism with aplomb.

    In this podcast, host Matt Abrahams and Stanford GSB lecturer Burt Alper share how to prepare for these challenges from your audience and discuss the importance of tactics like acknowledging audience input, reframing responses, and how to remain cool, collected, and credible.

    Episode Reference Links:

    • Burt Alper: Website
    • Stanford Profile: Website 
    • Ep.102 Create a Presence: How to Communicate in a Way Others Can Feel: WebsiteYouTube 
    • Ep.70 Keep ’Em Coming: Why Your First Ideas Aren’t Always the Best: Website / YouTube 
    • Original Episode - Ep.5 From Monologue to Dialogue: How to Handle a Skeptical Audience: Website / YouTube



    (00:00:00) Introduction

    Host Matt Abrahams introduces the episode and guest Burt Alper, a fellow strategic communication lecturer at Stanford GSB

    (00:00:55) Handling Direct Objections

    Confronting direct objections during presentations, particularly in professional settings like executive meetings or at the GSB.

    (00:02:37) Preparation for Objections

    The importance of preparation when anticipating objections and strategies for foreseeing potential pushbacks.

    (00:03:50) Emotional vs. Logical Objections

    Distinctions between emotional and logical objections and how these types of objections manifest in conversations.

    (00:06:09) The Power of Reframing

    The technique of reframing in objection handling and altering the context of a conversation to address concerns without conceding.

    (00:08:17) The Role of Paraphrasing

    Paraphrasing as a critical skill for clarifying and addressing objections, with the benefits of accurately restating concerns to ensure mutual understanding.

    (00:12:11) The Final Three Questions

    Burt Alper shares the best communication advice he’s received, a communicator he admires, and his ingredients for successful communication.

    (00:14:55) Conclusion

    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    230: Trust & Inspire: Unleash Greatness in Others

    230: Trust & Inspire: Unleash Greatness in Others

    The Command & Control approach to leadership is obsolete, and there’s a powerful replacement for it: Trust & Inspire. Steven M. R. Covey is passionate about helping leaders adopt this far more effective way of leading others, and he brought this enthusiasm to our conversation. You will be inspired as he describes all the benefits of a leadership model that’s focused on helping people grow even as they are held accountable for results. 

    Stephen is the New York Times and #1 Wall Street Journal bestselling author of The Speed of Trust, which has sold over 2 million copies worldwide.  His new book, Trust & Inspire: How Truly Great Leaders Unleash Greatness in Others, is also a Wall Street Journal bestseller. It immediately became one of my favorite books for leaders and parents. 

    Stephen brings to his writings the perspective of a practitioner, as he is the former President & CEO of the Covey Leadership Center, where he increased shareholder value by 67 times and grew the company to become the largest leadership development firm in the world. Stephen co-founded and currently leads FranklinCovey’s Global Speed of Trust Practice.  

    You’ll discover: 

    • The limitations of Enlightened Command & Control
    • How the best leaders extend trust to others
    • What’s involved in inspiring someone to perform at the highest level
    • Fundamental beliefs that Trust & Inspire leaders have about people
    • The elements of Stewardship Agreements that clarify expectations and define accountability

    Check out all the episodes
    Leave a review on Apple Podcasts
    Connect with Meredith on LinkedIn
    Follow Meredith on Twitter
    Download the free ebook Listen Like a Pro