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    Meditation Party with Sebene Selassie and Jeff Warren: Psychedelics, ADHD, Waking Up From Distraction, and Singing Without Being Self-Conscious

    enMay 24, 2023

    Podcast Summary

    • Meditating with Friends: Enhancing Your Practice and Managing DistractionsMeditating with friends and receiving feedback can improve your practice, while mindfulness techniques and positivity have practical benefits for all, not just those with ADHD.

      Meditation doesn't have to be a solitary activity, it can be greatly enhanced by having friends. In this episode of the 10% Happier podcast, Dan Harris hosts a Meditation Party with two close friends and meditation teachers, Sebene Selassie and Jeff Warren. They discuss Jeff's experience as a meditation teacher with ADHD and his techniques for working with an unruly mind. They also address listener questions about the frustrations of distraction in meditation and whether taking psychedelics violates Buddhist precepts. The podcast reminds us that there are practical applications for mindfulness techniques that can benefit everyone, not just those managing ADHD. Additionally, the power of friendship, positivity, and feedback can cultivate transformative experiences in meditation practice.

    • The Importance of Handling Feedback EffectivelyAcknowledge both positive and negative feedback, but avoid focusing solely on criticism. Differentiate between constructive and critical feedback, as catering only to critique can lead to loss of audience. Utilize anonymous feedback to identify areas of improvement.

      Receiving feedback, whether positive or negative, can deepen conversations and lead to transformative insights, but it is important not to overly focus on the negative feedback and lose sight of the overall positive response. Critical feedback can be seen as a problem to solve and an opportunity to improve inclusivity without compromising on integrity. However, continuously catering to individual critique can result in loss of larger audience. Constructive feedback is a subset of critical feedback, and it is vital to differentiate both to avoid being affected by negative criticism disproportionately. Asking for anonymous critical feedback can help identify areas of improvement.

    • The Benefits of Constructive Feedback and NeurodiversityEmbrace critiques and open-minded discussions to enhance personal growth. Take ownership of who you are and avoid censored assumptions. Recognize the impacts of masking and diverse perspectives to improve.

      Constructive feedback can lead to personal growth and development. It's important to be aware of how we censor ourselves based on assumptions and take ownership of who we are. Negative feedback can dilute our vision or goals, but we need to develop the ability to remain centered and not react impulsively. The brat at the table mentality can be counterproductive. Neurodiversity includes the concept of masking, or taking on assumptions about the ways we need to be and think based on family or cultural influences. It's essential to have open-minded discussions to better understand different perspectives, like the manifestation conversation. Critiques are crucial to be able to look inward and recognize areas where we can improve.

    • The Benefits and Challenges of Mindfulness for Neurodivergent Individuals with ADHDBeing authentic in meditation can enhance its benefits despite the challenges of ADHD. Understanding neurodivergent experiences is important for effective parent-child relationships and empathy for minorities.

      Being authentic and not censoring oneself can result in a richer conversation, and this extends to meditation practice as well. Neurodivergent individuals, such as those with ADHD, can still reap the benefits of mindfulness and meditation. However, articulating the challenges of ADHD can increase symptoms. Being a parent and having ADHD presents specific challenges that require attention and understanding. The importance of understanding and empathizing with experiences outside of our own, such as those of women and minorities, has been recognized in our culture, and the same should apply to neurodivergent individuals.

    • Understanding the Complexities of ADHDADHD manifests differently and can bring both benefits and challenges. It affects executive functions, leading to difficulty in focus and transitions, resulting in a lack of follow-through and shame. It's important to acknowledge and understand diverse experiences.

      ADHD is a complex condition that manifests differently in different people. It can bring both benefits and challenges to one's life. While some individuals experience inattentive symptoms, others exhibit hyperactive and impulsive behavior, often leading to high-risk activities that could be dangerous. ADHD affects one's ability to execute classic executive functions and may result in restless dissatisfaction, energy, and always wanting to switch things up, leading to difficulty in focus and transitions. This can cause a lack of follow-through, leading to shame and not finishing projects. Though ADHD has its positives, it is essential to acknowledge the challenges it presents to individuals and understand their diverse experiences.

    • Turning ADHD into a Superpower for Self-Exploration & RegulationEmbrace your ADHD as a unique tool for exploring your mind, but also learn to regulate your emotions and come back to the present moment. With commitment and self-awareness, valuable insights about your strengths and inner workings can emerge.

      ADHD can be a superpower, and anyone can use it to go on a journey of self-exploration. To work with ADHD, finding something of interest can lead to absorbed states, but the basis of self-regulation is learning to come back to the present. High sensitivity is something that develops through development, making it easier to go into emotional overwhelm. However, recognizing the incredible adventure in the mind can help regulate the internal state. If someone commits to learning about themselves, insights will start to emerge, creating its momentum. The nature of an insight is that it feels like you learn something fundamental about yourself and how the world works.

    • Transforming ADHD into a Superpower through MindfulnessMindfulness and self-regulation can help individuals with ADHD better articulate their challenges, gain perspective, and manage hyperactivity. By cultivating their unique perspectives, individuals can transform their distractibility and sensitivity into a superpower for the world.

      The distractibility and sensitivity associated with ADHD can be transformed into a superpower through mindfulness and self-regulation. By practicing mindfulness, individuals with ADHD can better articulate their challenges, gain perspective, and develop more agency over their behavior patterns. Mindfulness does not have to take a strict form and can be threaded into daily life through freestyle focus, self-compassion, and standing or walking meditations. Hyperactivity and restlessness can be managed by starting with body shaking and movement practices. Ultimately, mindfulness can be a powerful tool for individuals with ADHD to cultivate their superpower and bring unique perspectives to the world.

    • The Therapeutic Power of Dancing and Self-MovementEngaging in dance and body movement helps to release anxiety and self-consciousness, fostering self-awareness and curiosity towards neurodiverse conditions. With mindful practice, one can successfully manage symptoms and own their unique identity.

      Dancing and movement can be cathartic and help release restlessness and self-consciousness. It can be a slow dance with your own feelings to locate and move with them like you're having a dance party with yourself. Developing a sense of self-awareness and curiosity about yourself is the beginning of a journey towards discovering your supports and the structures that can help you empower yourself and own your neurodiverse condition. With time, you can learn to identify and disidentify with your condition and work on managing your symptoms.

    • The Power of Mindfulness and Community for Managing ADHD and Promoting NeurodiversityBeing mindful and understanding neurodiversity can improve ADHD symptoms. A diagnosis can connect individuals to best practices and communities, but it's important to recognize that many people without a diagnosis also struggle with attention and executive function.

      Being mindful and aware can help relieve symptoms of ADHD and any other challenges one may face with their mind and body. It is important to understand neurodiversity and not limit oneself because of a diagnosis. A diagnosis can connect individuals to best practices and communities of people with similar experiences. Naming and recognizing one's experience can be a relief and helpful in managing symptoms. It is important to remember that many people without a diagnosis struggle with attention and executive function and can benefit from the same practices and techniques.

    • Substance Abuse and Meditation: Why Being Sober is Not NecessaryIt’s not about stopping thoughts during meditation, but about acknowledging them and returning to the present. Being present and aware of physical sensations is key, regardless of substance use, as our culture deals with addiction.

      It’s not necessary to stop thoughts during meditation. Getting distracted and coming back is the process of always coming home. The training is to let those thoughts be present and not interfere, and that applies to everyone, including those with ADHD. The culture we live in is on drugs all the time and different substances are classified differently. Meditation can still be effective even if you consume substances. Therefore, being a sober meditator is not necessary enough. It’s all about being present and aware of physical sensations like fear and being the watcher. Substance abuse doesn't necessarily interfere with our meditation or clarity due to our culture with addiction.

    • Being Mindful of Substance Use in a Racialized WorldAcknowledge the effects of our addictions on our minds and moods, and consider factors like race and cultural norms when choosing to use plant medicines or psychedelics. Mindfulness is crucial in avoiding heedlessness and finding what works best for us individually.

      We all have addictions that we use to self-medicate and regulate, and it is important to acknowledge what affects our minds and moods. While plant medicines and psychedelics might be popping up as therapeutic tools, there is a racial component to laws regarding drugs, and mindfulness should be considered when using substances that lead to heedlessness. Buddhism does not necessarily prohibit the use of drugs, but it is important to consider the potential for heedlessness. Prohibitions against certain substances or activities should be taken with a grain of salt and examined in the context of cultural norms. Ultimately, different strokes work for different folks, and we do not need to follow trends like using psychedelics.

    • The Complimentary Relationship between Plant Medicine Ceremonies and Meditation.Plant medicine ceremonies can be tools for healing if utilized intelligently to initiate a different stage of life. Integrating ancient wisdom, meditation can support integrating insights, while overindulgence should be avoided.

      Plant medicine ceremonies like Ayahuasca can be a compliment to meditation practice and can initiate a different stage of life. However, it is important to understand that these are tools for healing and can be abused if not done intelligently. It is essential to integrate the ancient wisdom of indigenous traditions into modern-day healing and acknowledge where these tools and medicines are coming from. The study and research of these practices are proving helpful for healing trauma and patterns, both mentally and physically. However, it is necessary to beware of the addictive quality and overindulgence of these practices. Meditation practice is a supportive tool for integrating the insights and transformations gained from plant medicine ceremonies.

    • The Cautionary Use of Modern MoleculesWhile modern molecules can provide personal healing experiences, caution must be taken when using them to avoid addiction and one must integrate these experiences into their daily life. Indigenous contexts also encourage connecting to the larger world around us.

      While modern molecules like LSD, MDMA and Ketamine can provide personal healing experiences by expanding one's consciousness, we should be careful about overindulging in them. These molecules, when taken in a controlled environment like a lab or a meditation party can provide expansive experiences but if one is not mindful of integrating these experiences into their daily lives, they can get addicted to retreats and not attend to their worldly obligations. Indigenous contexts, on the other hand, encourage connecting to the larger world around us and the animate forces that surround us. Hence, one must approach the use of these modern molecules with caution and be mindful of integrating them into their daily life.

    • The Benefits and Risks of Psychedelics, Meditation and MindfulnessBe cautious and intentional when exploring psychedelics and plant medicine, and approach meditation and mindfulness with an open mindset, allowing for natural progress and detaching from self-medication and expectations. These practices can aid in navigating trauma and personal growth.

      Psychedelics and plant medicine can have promising potential for growth and beauty, but proceed with caution as many of these spaces are unregulated and can be dangerous. It's important to approach these experiences in a mindful and intentional way, rather than as a form of self-medication. It's also important to let go of expectations and goals in meditation, as pushing too hard can hinder one's progress. The awakening from distraction in meditation may be accompanied by a violent and overwhelming feeling, but this is normal and can eventually pass. Mindfulness and meditative practices can be beneficial in helping individuals navigate periods of trauma in their lives.

    • Coping with Thoughts and Emotions During MeditationIt's normal to get distracted, but coming back to the present moment, feeling the body and breathing helps. For intense emotions, tracking and grounding techniques can be useful. Mindfulness is about being a whole human being, not just paying attention to the mind.

      When meditating, it is normal to get distracted by thoughts, and it's okay to get lost. However, this can lead to frustration and self-criticism. It's important to have a different relationship with thoughts and feelings and come back to the present moment, feeling the body and breathing. When meditating, one can encounter intense emotions and overwhelming thoughts, especially if they have experienced trauma. To avoid being flooded, it's helpful to track experiences in the body and mind. One can open their eyes, put their hand on their body, or take deep breaths to ground themselves. Mindfulness is not just paying attention to the mind but also involves being a whole human being.

    • Mindfulness Practice Beyond Sitting StillMindfulness can be practiced in various activities such as dancing and singing, allowing individuals to reconnect with themselves and appreciate simple pleasures in life.

      Mindfulness practice can encompass various activities, including dancing, singing or even doing a two-step on a subway platform. Being an old black lady, Sebene Selassie doesn't care anymore about how she looks while dancing or singing. She denied herself these pleasures for a long time, but now she enjoys it and feels connected to herself. Troy Anthony's choir practice is another way of remembering one's Buddha nature, divine self, and community. It takes a lot of guts to sing or dance in a room full of other people who aren't comfortable doing it. However, Sebene finds it as her practice right now. Mindfulness allows a person to appreciate and enjoy even the simplest things in life.

    • Embracing Movement and Expression for Improved Well-being and Self-Awareness.Confronting self-consciousness and exploring different forms of movement and expression can help us break free from limitations and gain insights, leading to enhanced well-being and a more fulfilling life.

      Self-consciousness often holds us back from pursuing activities we enjoy like singing or dancing, but confronting it can help us break free and discover the therapeutic benefits of movement and expression. Indigenous cultures have long recognized the power of movement and singing in promoting well-being and meditation. Even activities like hiking and being in nature can enhance our meditation practice. While it may be challenging to step outside of our comfort zones, exploring different forms of movement and expression can help us gain insights and make us feel more alive. By prioritizing such activities, we can break free from our limitations and experience the fullness of life.

    • Fittedness, Ecology of Practices and the Science of Wisdom: Finding Meaning in LifeTo find meaning in life, focus on feeling fitting to your life, work and relationships. Cultivate an ecology of practices and seek out invigorating human connections by attending events with interesting people.

      Meaning emerges spontaneously from our relationship with the world. Fittedness, or the degree to which we feel fitting to our life, work and relationships, is crucial in creating and finding meaning. An ecology of practices is necessary to support this sense of meaning, tying in with John VivaKi's work on the science of wisdom. In a world full of meaning crisis and mental health challenges, putting oneself in situations with invigorating human beings can also help in finding a sense of meaning. This could mean attending conferences or gatherings with interesting people, instead of just focusing on the networking aspect.

    • The Importance of Social Contact and Sense of BelongingRegular social interactions with people we like is important for our mental health. We need to create a sense of belonging within ourselves and challenge ourselves to meet new people, even if it means stepping out of our comfort zone. Embrace weirdness and be authentic in conversation to build meaningful connections.

      Regular social contact with people you enjoy being around is important for mental health and a sense of belonging. It's an inside-out job to create that belonging within oneself. There's no need to strive to be a part of exclusive groups or attend elite conferences. The hosts emphasize the importance of being comfortable with oneself and challenging oneself to meet new people, even if it means doing things alone. They encourage listeners to join them for future conversations and to embrace the weirdness. Finally, they express gratitude for the listeners who stuck around for the entire discussion and highlight the importance of being authentic and relaxed in conversation.

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    Meditation Party: Magic, Mystery, Intuition, Tattoos, and Non-Efforting | Sebene Selassie and Jeff Warren

    Meditation Party: Magic, Mystery, Intuition, Tattoos, and Non-Efforting | Sebene Selassie and Jeff Warren

    Welcome to the third installment of Meditation Party, an experiment we’re running with a chattier format – more of a morning zoo vibe, but way deeper, of course. Dan’s co-hosts in this episode are his two close friends: the great meditation teachers Sebene Selassie and Jeff Warren. Sebene Selassie is based in Brooklyn and describes herself as a “writer, teacher, and immigrant-weirdo.” She teaches meditation on the Ten Percent Happier app and is the author of a great book called, You Belong. Jeff Warren is based in Toronto and is also a writer and meditation teacher who co-wrote the book, Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics with Dan Harris. Jeff also hosts the Consciousness Explorers podcast.


    Related Episodes:

    #489. Can You Really Conquer Hatred Through Love? | Father Gregory Boyle

    #519. The Art and Science of Keeping Your Sh*t Together | Shinzen Young and James Gross 

    Best of the Archives: Making it RAIN | Tara Brach


    For more info on the Meditation Party Retreat: Meditation Party Workshop at Omega Institute


    To watch this interview online, go to: https://www.youtube.com/@TenPercentHappier


    If you want to be part of the show, please call in with a question or comment. The number is 508-656-0540. Or you can email us with a voice memo at podcast@tenpercent.com with a voice memo. 


    Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/meditation-party-3

    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    Your Chance for a Do-Over| Bonus Meditation with Oren Jay Sofer

    Your Chance for a Do-Over| Bonus Meditation with Oren Jay Sofer

    In this practice you'll connect with your values and set an intention for how you want to show up today.


    About Oren Jay Sofer:


    Oren has practiced meditation in the early Buddhist tradition since 1997, beginning his studies in Bodh Gaya, India with Anagarika Munindra and Godwin Samararatne. He is a long-time student of Joseph Goldstein, Michele McDonald, and Ajahn Sucitto, and a graduate of the IMS - Spirit Rock Vipassana Teacher Training, and current member of the Spirit Rock Teachers Council.

    Oren is the author of Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication, a practical guidebook for having more effective, satisfying conversations. 


    To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for “A Fresh Start,” or click here:

    "https://10percenthappier.app.link/content?meditation=b4a40731-798e-4f9e-87ac-e889dd0298e2"

    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    Keeping Things in Perspective | Bonus Meditation with La Sarmiento

    Keeping Things in Perspective | Bonus Meditation with La Sarmiento

    Our busy lives rarely afford us time to reflect on what’s truly important. Remembering what matters most empowers us to engage meaningfully.


    About La Sarmiento:


    La Sarmiento is the the guiding teacher of the Insight Meditation Community of Washington's BIPOC and LGBTQIA+ Sanghas and a mentor for the Mindfulness Meditation Teacher Certification Program and for Cloud Sangha. They graduated from Spirit Rock Meditation Center's Community Dharma Leader Training Program in 2012. As an immigrant, non-binary, Filipinx-American, La is committed to expanding access to the Dharma. They live in Towson, MD with their life partner Wendy and rescue pups Annabel and Bader.


    To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for “Finding Purpose: What Matters Most?” 



    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    How to Disentangle from Toxic People | Lindsay C. Gibson

    How to Disentangle from Toxic People | Lindsay C. Gibson

    Our relationships are the most important variable in our health and happiness, but they may also be the most difficult. This is especially true when those closest to us turn out to be emotionally immature people.


    Lindsay C. Gibson is a clinical psychologist and bestselling author who specializes in helping people identify and deal with emotionally immature people, or EIP’s. Her first appearance on our show was one of our most popular episodes of 2022. Now she’s back to offer concrete strategies for handling the EIP’s in your life, wherever you may find them. Her new book is called Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People.


    In this episode we talk about:

    • A primer on the cardinal characteristics of emotionally immature people (EIP’s), how to spot them, and why you might want to
    • What Lindsay means by “disentangling” from EIP’s, and how to do it
    • What often happens to your own sense of self when you’re in relationship (or even just in conversation) with an EIP 
    • How to interact with an EIP 
    • How to prevent brain scramble when you’re talking with someone who isn’t making any attempt to understand what you’re saying  
    • How she reacts when she comes across EIP’s in her everyday life
    • Whether it’s possible to have some immature characteristics without being an EIP
    • Handling your own emotionally immature tendencies  
    • Whether or not EIP’s can change
    • The limits of estrangement
    • Why she encourages “alternatives to forgiveness”


    For tickets to TPH's live event in Boston on September 7:

    https://thewilbur.com/armory/artist/dan-harris/


    Full Shownotes:

    https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/lindsay-c-gibson-617

    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.