James Dashwood - Addiction, coping mechanisms and the quest for connection

For this epsiode Sophie is interviewed by her good friend Sarah Orr (who appeared in series two of A Life Less Ordinary with Sophie Elwes). Sophie tells her story from when she sustained her spinal cord injury back in 2011 after falling from a roof terrace. They discuss the aftermath, from spending nearly six weeks in an induced coma with 40% chance of survival, to going to Stoke Mandeville spinal injuries unit to be rehabiltated and learn how to live independently again. 

Sophie talks about the challenges found in the outside world after leaving hospital and about the life-changing experience she had on a Back Up ski course in Colorado a year post-injury. She shares how she got into ski racing and the challenges and learnings that came with that.

As the host and producer of this podcast Sophie shares her highlights and her favourite pieces of advice from across the series, finishing off with a piece of advice of her own.

 

Jambo Truong is a practitioner of integrative medicine with a specialism in complimentary medicine and therapies who has impressive credentials and a vast knowledge and repertoire of different practices.

Growing up in South Wales and feeling like an outsider as being from an ethnic minority, as well as being queer, he faced a lot of bullying and had to learn to defend himself. Witnessing his sister passing away from an asthma attack at a young age set him on a path to wanting to help others, as well as introducing him to meditation.

As a student he volunteered at a drug and alcohol centre which we talk about in some depth and he shares a strong commonality found amongst service users, ways to help people 'find their spark', and an intimate understanding of the root of substance abuse issues.

Jambo is a bodyworker and talks about the diagnostic tools he uses from looking at the positives in a person and what he can tell from a person's face alone.

He has some incredible advice around what we can all do to help ourselves and a profound philosophy about trauma.

Follow Jambo on Instagram here and learn more about him via his website here.

Sophie Dear is a yoga teacher and self-worth coach who struggled with insomnia and undiagnosed anxiety since the age of 15. 

She appeared to have a thriving career in the TV industry but it wasn't until reaching a point of burnout that she had a conversation with a doctor who encouraged her to question her self-critic by interacting with her 'inner child' that led her on a path of healing and learning which would eventually lead to her helping countless others with their own self-worth.
 
Now living in Bali, Sophie tells her story of how she got to this point.  She shares her learnings about identifying what low self-worth looks like, we speak about people pleasing and why boundaries are so important and she shares some of the invaluable tools she coaches her clients with.

We talk about our collective need for external validation, she shares her advice for successfully navigating social media and she explains why having cheerleaders is everything.

You can find out more about Sophie from her website here where you can learn about her Bali retreats, group coaching and workshops. You can also follow her on Instagram here. 

Raquel Siganporia is the Director of Business Development and Senior Solicitor at Aspire Law and she sustained a spinal cord injury following surgery to correct the curvature of her spine, or scoliosis,  which went wrong when she was aged 11.

She tells me about the immediate aftermath of such a life-changing event and about what it was like starting secondary school in the '90s as a person with a disability. She shares how she learned to use her disability as an advantage which served her well into adulthood.

We talk about working with a disability, the challenges faced, but also the advantages that can accompany it; and Raquel shares the approach she takes when explaining what her needs in the workplace might be in order to manage expectations and ensure that she has what she needs in order to carry out her role to the best of her ability.

Raquel is a real master at asserting herself and shares her tips and tricks to manage tricky situations and people, as well as to get what she wants from a situation.

We speak about sex and dating with a disability and Raquel talks about what she wishes people knew. She also shares her advice on navigating dating apps and 'tuning your radar' when dating.

Follow Raquel on Instagram here.

Huge thanks to the sponsors of this series By Sarah London. Get 20% off at bysarahlondon.com with the code LIFE20 and find them on Instagram here.

Adam is the founder of Togetherness which is a social enterprise whose purpose is to make meaningful connection more accessible in our culture.

Having been a people pleaser and studied it in depth, Adam has a great understanding of his own behaviour patterns and we unpick what it means and why awareness is key to working through feeling the need to please others and putting their needs before one's own.

We chat about intimacy and vulnerability and how we can show up more authentically in our lives and in our relationships and he shares how the Wheel of Consent can help us discover new ways of relating with other people.

We discuss personal sovereignty, 'touch hunger', silent dating and Adam shares a great story about being playful with absolute strangers on the Tube.

Thanks to our sponsors By Sarah London. Get 20% off at bysarahlondon.com with the code LIFE20 and find them on Instagram here.

Whilst in her last year of law school, in her early twenties, Lauren Murrell was diagnosed with an aggressive form of blood cancer (myeloid leukaemia) with only 20% chance of survival.  Whilst she was in hospital her sister Sarah developed some natural skincare formulations to restore and repair her sister's sensitive fragile skin.

After a life-saving stem cell transplant from Sarah, the sisters decided to bring Sarah’s original formulas to life with the launch of By Sarah; a range of natural, effective and B Corp certified skincare designed for people that are struggling with stressed and sensitive skin, and the sponsors of this series of the podcast.

Lauren tells her story, sharing her coping mechanisms whilst in hospital - from curating her environment to journalling to help her process what she was going through and even manifesting future events which would end up coming true.

She shares a wealth of wisdom and learning; mantras that have provided her with tools both in her recovery and also as an entrepreneur, and we talk about the complications around manifestation, but how it can also be a valuable process for achieving goals.

Thanks to our sponsors By Sarah London. Get 20% off at bysarahlondon.com with the code LIFE20 and find them on Instagram here.

Melanie Woods is a former PE teacher and GB Paralympic athlete who sustained a spinal cord injury after being hit by a car whilst riding her bike. She tells me about her experience of rehabilitation, learning how to become independent and managing to  walk with crutches whilst in rehab. She shares how she found ways to cope with her new situation and her journey into wheelchair racing. She talks about going skiing in Colorado with the charity, Back Up a year after breaking her back and how it was so eye-opening for her. She talks about embracing failure and remembering where she started from, and what it was like to compete on the world stage in Tokyo.

Find Melanie on Instagram here and on her website here.

Thanks to our sponsors By Sarah London. Get 20% off at bysarahlondon.com  with the code LIFE20 and find them on Instagram here.

This was such a special conversation with Carlos Cervantes who talks about his experiences in his late teens and early 20s of suffering from severe depression, 'overdoing it' on drink and drugs, dropping out of university having had a mental breakdown, feeling suicidal and receiving a diagnosis of Bipolar Type One Disorder. He came across a teacher of meditation and started on his journey of practicing Transcendental Meditation. He now teaches it and shares with me the profound effect it's had on every part of his life. After practicing it for a period of time he found himself symptom-free from Bipolar Disorder and has been ever since.

Find out more about Transcendental Mediation here: uk.tm.org

Thanks to our sponsors By Sarah London. Get 20% off at bysarahlondon.com  with the code LIFE20 and find them on Instagram here.

Working in the NHS for 27 years, Dr Clair Pollard is a Clinical Psychologist and Acting Director for a large psychology mental health trust in South London and a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist. She also sustained a spinal cord injury during her training at the age of 25 which left her paraplegic and a wheelchair user. Undeterred by this, it was her determination and focus on her training that enabled her to come to terms with her acquired disability. She talks about the 'mental health tsunami' we are facing in the UK at the moment,  particularly for young people but adds that the fact that people are talking about it more now is a huge advancement. She shares some great advice about how we can help both ourselves and others.

She talks about the advantages and challenges of having a spinal cord injury in her role and her strategies of how she manages in the workplace by being assertive and not being apologetic, and how she feels she's a better psychologist because of what she's been through.

Find Sophie on Instagram @sophieelwes.

Rosie Wilby is an award-winning comedian, author and podcaster who has appeared a number of times on BBC Radio 4 programmes including Woman's Hour, Saturday Live and Four Thought. Her first book Is Monogamy Dead? was longlisted for the Polari First Book Prize and followed a trilogy of solo shows investigating the psychology of love and relationships. Her new book The Breakup Monologues is based on her acclaimed podcast of the same name and it explores the science of heartbreak and the unexpected joy that can come from breakups.

In this conversation Rosie talks about growing up and coming out as gay in the 1980s and how she found her crowd in the queer community after moving to London. She tells me about her experience of being in a 'secret' relationship for five years with a woman who hadn't come out to her parents and we talk about the internalized homophobia experienced by many and Rosie shares how she's learned to empower and enable others to 'own' and feel more at ease with their sexuality.

Rosie includes a chapter in her book on friendship breakups and we talk about how they are rarely acknowledged in the same way as romantic relationships, and there's no 'script' for them, despite the pain they can cause.

We talk about post-traumatic growth after a painful breakup and how they can eventually lead to healing personal growth, leaving us better equipped to make informed choices in future. Rosie shares her greatest learnings from her breakups and we discuss the merits of singledom.

Rosie's first book, Is Monogamy Dead? explores the need to reinvestigate monogamy for modern times and she shares some inspired insights into how we can reimagine monogamy and make relationships work for us, without piling the pressure and expectation onto one person to provide everything we need.

Rosie is on Twitter @rosiewilby and Instagram @breakupmonologues and you can check her book out here.

Find Sophie on Instagram here.