4 Essential Trust-Building Practices to Strengthen Relationships & Why You Shouldn't Let External Validation Control Your Life

    Focus on powerful friendships and values in life, rather than seeking fame or recognition. Prepare emotionally and mentally for the inevitable challenges that come along the way.

    enJune 09, 2023

    About this Episode

    Have you been wanting to get over your failures? You won’t want to miss this episode.

    Today we explore the themes of overcoming failures and emerging stronger than ever with myself and Elizabeth Day

    Join us as we dive into the profound insights on how to navigate the pain of heartbreak and find love once more, the significance of earning trust rather than freely giving it, and the invaluable lessons embedded within our failures, which serve as stepping stones toward personal growth and unparalleled success.

    This episode is hope for anyone striving to pursue their goals, persevere through adversity, and embrace the fullness of life.

    Whether you find yourself wanting a fresh start after a breakup, seeking guidance on building meaningful connections, or simply seeking inspiration to transform setbacks into opportunities, this episode holds immeasurable value for you.

    Together, we unravel the essence of resilience and the power of harnessing failure as a catalyst for growth.

    Today we learn-

    • The ways to finding love and jay after heartbreak
    • How to foster authentic trust in relationships
    • Embracing failures as invaluable lessons
    • Finding the path to personal and professional success
    • How to find resilience and grow from challenges

    This one will leave a mark on your journey of self-discovery. Don’t miss this one!With Love and Gratitude,
    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    • 00:00 Intro
    • 01:32 Do you feel happy and successful? Is it genuine?
    • 04:32 Do you have one consistent purpose or does it shift everyday?
    • 07:45 The 3-step method to check if what you’re doing is aligned with your purpose
    • 11:49 This is the reason why breakups are painful and why we shouldn’t push it aside
    • 15:00 Why does trust need to be earned and not just easily given away?
    • 21:29 Define love before you say it or feel it. Love means different things for different people.
    • 23:51 What’s your favorite romantic comedy of all time?
    • 27:19 What is your concept of failure? What about the milestones that society has set?
    • 31:51 What is the earliest failure you’ve had?
    • 37:13 Have you ever felt unlovable? How did you cope?
    • 40:31 Why do we always seek validation from other people?
    • 47:11 Is it considered a failure when you end up becoming someone people don’t normally aim to become?
    • 55:16 Sometimes, things that don’t work out may lead to an opening to a better path
    • 57:17 How does one become a good manager and leader?  

    Want to be a Jay Shetty Certified Life Coach? Get the Digital Guide and Workbook from Jay Shetty https://jayshettypurpose.com/fb-getting-started-as-a-life-coach-podcast/

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    🔑 Key Takeaways

    • Pursuing happiness can lead to success, but they are not the same thing. Success can come from personal growth, but happiness comes from finding joy, presence, and connection. Purpose is not something you figure out, it's something you collect over time through experiences and emotions.
    • When creating content, having a clear purpose that aligns with improving people's lives is more important than external factors. Following the ESM method can help focus on essential aspects and make decisions with purpose.
    • Heartbreak is painful, but we must remember that we are unbreakable and lovable. Keeping the faith in love can lead to finding something even more beautiful.
    • Trust should be earned at each level, starting at zero. Don't assume and don't give unconditional trust too soon. Develop and build trust over time to prevent heartbreak and grief.
    • Building trust and defining love in a relationship are gradual processes that require time, patience, and effort. Rushing into declaring love can lead to misunderstandings and disappointment. Take time to understand the other person's perspective and expectations to build strong relationships.
    • Avoid romanticizing unhealthy behavior and set realistic standards for love. Communicate and understand your partner's view of commitment and relationships to build a healthy and respectful relationship. Movies and TV shows can contribute to unhealthy misconceptions of love.
    • Let go of the belief that we are inherently flawed and embrace failure as a learning opportunity. Consider the impact of change on our lives by understanding our desires and values. Seek knowledge from autobiographical and biographical sources to better understand ourselves.
    • Embrace your failures as part of the journey to success, be brave in facing fears, approach cultural diversity with sensitivity, and learn from the stories of successful people beyond their achievements.
    • Our childhood experiences shape our perception of ourselves and relationships. Empathy and compassion towards ourselves and others, along with positive reinforcement from parents and peers, can help heal wounds and build confidence.
    • Validating oneself through self-improvement leads to deeper feelings of self-worth and contentment, while seeking validation from others can lead to harmful insecurities. Detachment is a masterclass in dealing with the need for constant approval.
    • Focus on powerful friendships and values in life, rather than seeking fame or recognition. Prepare emotionally and mentally for the inevitable challenges that come along the way.
    • It's okay to fail, change paths, and detach from negative people. Practice daily detachment to avoid getting caught up and be open to opportunities. Believe in yourself to succeed and overcome failures.
    • Overcoming obstacles and prioritizing mental health can lead to success and positive workplace culture. Be persistent, resilient, and adaptable to change, even in tough times.
    • Through a difficult experience of being broke and struggling, Jay Shetty discovered his potential and the power of pain to unlock it. This led him to teach meditation and start a new chapter in his career.
    • Trust your instincts, be true to yourself, and take responsibility for your actions. Strive for a balanced leadership approach by being affectionate and assertive, and always listen thoughtfully to criticism. The best apology is changed behavior.
    • Reflect on our relationships to see both faults and positive aspects, choose growth to become the best version of ourselves, and remember that endings aren't always fairy tales.
    • Reflecting someone's positivity back to them can have a tremendous impact. By being a genuine mirror, we can help others see their positive qualities, improve their day, and make a difference in the world.

    📝 Podcast Summary

    Pursuing Happiness and Success with Purpose

    Jay Shetty believes that happiness and success are not the same thing, and pursuing both intentionally and consciously is important. He feels that pursuing joy and presence and connection creates happiness in life, and the growth of success comes from building a podcast, writing a book, or building a company. Shetty is competitive, but he focuses on how he can do better than himself rather than how he can do better than others. He believes that purpose is not something you figure out in your head and then live, but it's something that you collect over time through skills, experiences, feelings, emotions. His underlying purpose is to dedicate his life to helping other people find theirs by making wisdom and ideas more accessible, relevant, and practical.

    Creating Innovative Educational Content with Jay Shetty's ESM Method.

    Creating educational content in an innovative way can make it more accessible and consumable. It can improve people's lives, and even elevate their minds through the entertainment they consume. Having a clear purpose that fuels you is more important than external results like followers, likes or sales. Jay Shetty's three-step method of Energy, Strategy, and Money (ESM) can help check if an opportunity aligns with one's purpose. The first step is to determine if the energy of the opportunity aligns with improving people's lives. Then the strategy is evaluated followed by assessing if the money is aligned with the purpose. Such a process can help to focus on the most critical aspect of a decision and decide accordingly.

    Overcoming Heartbreak and Finding Valuable Love

    Heartbreak hurts, and it's okay to feel the pain. We often base our self-value on someone else's view towards us, which can make us feel broken when they leave. However, our soul is unbreakable, and we are still valuable and lovable even when someone doesn't love us the way we want. The pain from heartbreak can lead to gratitude and appreciation for finding love again in a way that we could never have had without those experiences. Therefore, don't be discouraged if you've failed or lost love too many times, keep believing that love is possible and that you're lovable, which will make finding it even more beautiful.

    The Four Levels of Trust and Preventing Heartbreak

    We all have a first self, which is unbreakable and exists before, during and after every relationship. Trust is something that should be earned by both ourselves and others, and it has four levels: zero trust, transactional trust, reciprocal trust, and unconditional trust. Often we make assumptions about trust based on qualities we perceive in others, when we should start at zero trust and let them earn it. The higher level of trust we give someone, the more levels we have to fall. Trust should not be binary, and it takes time to develop to divine level of trust. It's important to apply this understanding of trust to prevent heartbreak and grief.

    Building Trust & Defining Love takes time

    Building trust takes time and it's important to measure trust by the expectations you set for others. Giving away trust without earning it can lead to pain and disappointment. It's essential to understand what love means to the other person before saying or hearing 'I love you'. Love can mean different things to different people, and defining it beforehand can prevent misunderstandings. Rushing into a relationship or declaring love too early can set oneself up for failure. It takes 40 hours, 100 hours, and 200 hours of interaction to consider someone a casual friend, a good friend, and a great friend respectively, which proves that building strong relationships takes time.

    Understanding Your Partner's View on Relationships and Love.

    It's important to understand how your partner views relationships and love to avoid setting false expectations. Movies and TV shows often romanticize unhealthy behavior and set up unrealistic standards for love. It's essential to separate love as an idea versus the person themselves, as well as to avoid putting pressure or making threats in a relationship. Instead of assuming everyone wants the same type of love, it's important to decipher and understand how your partner views commitment and relationships over time. True healthy love is built on understanding, respect, and communication. The Notebook and romantic comedies like it may be enjoyable to watch, but they can contribute to unhealthy misconceptions of love and relationships.

    Unlearning Societal Conditioning and Embracing Failure for Personal Growth.

    We should unlearn the societal conditioning and family beliefs that make us believe we are broken and in need of saving. Failure is a part of life and an opportunity to grow and pivot. We should stop asking if something is the right time and instead ask if we understand how it will change our life and if we like that change. Autobiographies and biographies can teach us the history of human beings and help us understand who we are and what we want for ourselves.

    The Power of Learning from Failures and Cultivating Diversity

    Learning from the failures of successful people can be inspiring as it shows that failure and rejection are normal parts of the journey to success. The earlier failures in life can have a profound impact on people, especially children, but it is important to see them as part of the path and not let them bring you down. Public speaking and performance can be daunting but facing the fear and pushing through failures can lead to personal growth. Celebrating diversity and culture can create a beautiful and educating experience for children, but it is important to approach it with sensitivity and respect. Studying the stories of successful individuals can offer valuable insights beyond just their accomplishments and success stories.

    Childhood experiences and their impact on self-esteem and relationships

    Childhood experiences can have a lasting impact on one's self-esteem and confidence. The fear of not fitting in can make one feel like a failure. Empathy and compassion for others can help heal our inner child. As adults, we need to teach our kids to be encouraging, supportive, and accepting of others. Feeling unlovable, unlikable, or unwanted can affect one's self-perception, but the love of a parent can provide a sense of safety. Childhood crushes and experiences shape our perception of relationships and love. Understanding the impact of these experiences can help us develop empathy and compassion for ourselves and others

    The Pitfalls of Seeking Validation from Others

    Validation and attention are not the same as love. Seeking validation from others leads to hollow feelings and the need for constant approval. The monk experience taught Jay Shetty that the deepest form of validation is validating oneself by becoming the person one wants to be. The only person who can truly validate oneself is oneself. Seeking validation from others can be harmful, and detachment is a masterclass in how to deal with it. The monks taught Jay Shetty to validate himself and become comfortable with who he is, without needing others' approval. Seeking validation from others can lead to insecurities and can be harmful, whereas self-validation leads to deeper feelings of self-worth and contentment.

    The Importance of Detaching from Criticism and Celebrations in Life

    Jay Shetty shares his journey of doing what he loves for 10 years without recognition and emphasizes the importance of not letting criticism or celebration dictate the values of one's life. He emphasizes the importance of detaching oneself and making peace with the inevitability of irrelevance and insignificance in life. A good relationship with someone who values you for who you are, rather than what you achieve, can be a beautiful thing. He also stresses the importance of preparing oneself for inevitable challenges early on mentally and emotionally. Genuine friendships are more valuable than fame or recognition.

    Jay Shetty's Lessons on Embracing Failure and Practicing Daily Detachment

    Jay Shetty's life journey teaches that it's okay to fail, change paths, and detach from negative people. It's important to practice daily detachment to avoid getting swept up. Leaving a dream job due to one's choices can sometimes lead to failure, but it's okay to try again. Failure is a part of life, and one should be cautious and vigilant in order to grow and succeed. Criticism can lead to negative thoughts and depressive moments, but one needs to stay confident and believe in themselves. Believing in oneself is the key to success and overcoming failures. One also needs to be open to opportunities and not give up on their dream.

    Jay Shetty's Journey of Persistence and Prioritizing Mental Health

    Jay Shetty faced heavy financial and emotional challenges during his career, including debt, visa issues, and rejection from over 40 companies. However, he persevered and eventually landed a job at Accenture, where he started teaching meditation and mindfulness to his colleagues. This work caught the attention of a managing director who prioritized mental health, leading to further opportunities for Shetty. Despite feeling like a failure at times, Shetty learned from these experiences and overcame significant obstacles, demonstrating the importance of persistence, resilience, and a willingness to adapt to change. He also highlights the value of prioritizing mental health, both for individual well-being and for creating a positive workplace culture that supports employees.

    From Struggle to Success: Jay Shetty's Story of Finding his Potential

    Jay Shetty's experience of being broke and struggling for survival helped him discover his potential and fuelled a relentless pursuit of excellence, which he still lives off. It brought out an energy in him that he didn't even know he had, and now he knows which gear he can get to. The experience made him realise that you realise your potential when you're in pain and that you'll never realise your potential when things are going well. It's a special thing that he got from that experience. It also led him to start teaching meditation across the whole company and started a new chapter in his career.

    Trust Yourself and Lead with Your Heart

    Don't act out of character for anyone and don't just trust someone knows better than you, especially when it comes to people. Lead with your heart, lead with what you know best. Failure can be tough, but it's important to take responsibility and change your behavior. The best apology is changed behavior. Criticism can be discouraging, but always listen thoughtfully and find a balance between being affectionate and assertive in your leadership style. Acting tough and forceful may not always be the best approach. Don't let others define who you are or what you're capable of achieving. Trust yourself and your instincts to make the best decisions for you and your team.

    Choosing Growth Over Guilt for Personal Growth

    Understanding the difference between guilt and growth can lead to personal growth. It is important to choose growth and become a better version of yourself rather than staying in a place of guilt and self-criticism. Just as it can be helpful to reflect on our missteps in a dance studio, it is also important to reflect on our relationships, not just to see our faults but also to mirror the positive. By choosing growth and spreading positivity, we can make our relationships better and benefit others. We should not let one person's experience define the rest of our lives and remember that endings don't always have to be fairy tales.

    Magnifying positivity through reflection.

    Reflecting someone's light back to them can magnify their positive traits, encouraging them to lean into the good they're doing. Acknowledging and appreciating someone's brightness can have a tremendous impact on them, as well as on ourselves. By being a mirror and reflecting others' light, we can help them see their own positive qualities and improve their day or even change their life. We should be sincere and authentic in our appreciation, and even a small gesture can make a huge difference. We can also meditate and reflect on someone who inspires, comforts or supports us, and think about how we can mirror their light. Ultimately, spreading light can help light up the whole world.

    Recent Episodes from On Purpose with Jay Shetty

    Laura Lynne Jackson: How to Know What Your Inner Voice Really Means & 4 Steps to Tap into Your Own Psychic Abilities

    Laura Lynne Jackson: How to Know What Your Inner Voice Really Means & 4 Steps to Tap into Your Own Psychic Abilities

    Why is it important to listen to your inner voice?

    How can you cultivate a stronger connection with your inner voice?

    In this episode, let's welcome Laura Lynne Jackson, a renowned psychic medium, author, and spiritual teacher, celebrated for her profound ability to bridge the physical and spiritual worlds. She has authored several influential books, including "The Light Between Us" and "Signs: The Secret Language of the Universe," which delve into the ways we can connect with the afterlife and harness our own psychic abilities.  She is widely respected for her compassionate approach and her commitment to helping others discover the transformative power of their own inner voices. 

    Laura shares personal stories and professional experiences that illustrate the transformative power of tuning into the inner wisdom. She outlines practical steps anyone can take to cultivate a stronger connection with their inner voice, such as meditation, reflective practices, and journaling. These activities help clear the mental clutter, allowing the inner voice to emerge more clearly and influentially.

    Jay and Laura also explore common challenges people face, like doubts and confusion about following this inner guidance, and provide reassuring advice on how to overcome these obstacles. Laura also stresses the value of trusting and acting on the insights provided by the inner voice, highlighting how this trust can lead to a more authentic, fulfilling life.

    In this interview, you'll learn:

    How to identify your inner voice

    How to cultivate genuine connection

    How to interpret your feelings

    How to trust your intuition

    How to apply insights to everyday life

    As you become more attuned to this powerful guide, you'll find clarity and direction in areas of life where you need it most. Don’t ignore it; embrace it and let it lead you to a more connected and fulfilling life.

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    00:00 Intro

    03:05 The Difference Between a Psychic and a Medium

    06:59 We All Have Psychic Abilities

    09:50 Discovering Your Own Ability

    17:31 My Brainwave Patterns Are Different

    22:04 The Psychic Abilities We Aren’t Aware Of

    32:17 Weakened Disconnection to Our Inner Voice

    35:50 Standing Firm with Your Moments of Knowing

    40:41 How to Reconnect with Disconnected Relationships?

    49:32 What Does Infatuation Mean?

    55:27 Vibrations of Love

    01:04:44 Living in the Present

    01:10:26 How Important Are Tangible Signs

    01:17:02 The Answers is Within Us

    01:23:14 Being Still Within Yourself

    01:25:19 Death Is Not A Dead End

    01:35:02 How to Connect with Your Soul?

    01:39:20 Getting Into Your Light Energy

    01:42:44 Laura on Final Five

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    10 Steps on How To Set Boundaries Without Offending People

    10 Steps on How To Set Boundaries Without Offending People

    Are you struggling with setting your boundaries?

    Do you want to know how to respectfully tell others about your boundaries?

    Today, Jay questions the traditional notion that a "good person" is one who never says no. This outdated definition leads to a lack of boundaries, which ultimately harms personal well-being. By redefining what it means to be a good person, one can recognize the importance of investing in themselves and navigating difficult conversations.

    What does setting boundaries truly mean? They are defined not by what we want from others, but by what we need for ourselves. Jay explains that boundaries should not aim to control others but should protect the individual from their own triggers and provides practical advice on how to communicate boundaries effectively, suggesting the use of simple, clear statements without over-explanation.

    In this episode, you'll learn:

    How to set boundaries without feeling guilty

    How to NO effectively

    How to communicate boundaries clearly

    How to handle other people's reactions

    How to build confidence in setting boundaries

    Don't wait to reclaim your time, energy, and peace of mind—take control and become the assertive, self-respecting individual you deserve to be.

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    00:00 Intro

    01:31 Boundaries Are Often Tough to Set

    03:45 #1: Redefine What Your Boundaries Are

    09:05 #2: Clearly Communicate Your Boundaries

    11:48 #3: Be Kind, Honest, and Empathetic to Other People’s Reaction

    15:07 #4: You Subconsciously Sound Defensive When Setting Your Boundaries

    17:53 #5: Plan a Buffer

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Tiffany Haddish: 4 Ways to Navigate Complicated Family Relationships & How to Have Hard Conversations You are Avoiding

    Tiffany Haddish: 4 Ways to Navigate Complicated Family Relationships & How to Have Hard Conversations You are Avoiding

    Are you struggling with initiating difficult conversations?

    Are you struggling with having difficult conversations with family members?

    Today's guest is the hilarious and incredible story teller Tiffany Haddish, Emmy and Grammy-winning actress, comedian, and author. Known for her breakout role in "Girls Trip" and her New York Times bestselling book "The Last Black Unicorn," Tiffany has become one of the most influential voices in comedy with her sharp wit, resilience, and authentic storytelling. 

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    Jay and Tiffany also talk about relationships and the lessons she has learned from her experiences. She opens up about her past relationships and how they shaped her understanding of love, vulnerability, and self-respect. We get to listen to the healing power of laughter, the importance of community, and the role of faith in overcoming life’s challenges. 

    In this interview, you'll learn:

    How to overcome adversity

    How to turn pain into humor and use it as fuel

    How to embrace vulnerability

    How to handle criticism

    How to advocate for yourself 

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    00:00 Intro

    03:08 Built to Have Fun

    04:19 Emotional Hoarder

    07:16 Celibacy

    12:11 Being with the Wrong Person

    15:41 Do You Believe in Past Life?

    18:06 Who Do You Want to Date?

    20:10 Growing Your Own Garden

    22:48 Growing with a Creative Mind

    25:05 Worst Thing About Being Me

    29:11 Dealing with Online Hate

    31:36 She’s Not My Mom Anymore

    37:46 Processing and Dealing with Grief

    43:36 Resenting and Forgiving My Father

    48:46 The Phone Call with My Dad

    55:24 Let’s Understand People’s Stories

    57:59 Self Care is a Process

    01:02:15 My Father Was Sick

    01:05:07 Make Home in Your Childhood Community

    01:10:29 The Love to Entertain People

    01:18:07 What Would Little T be Proud Of?

    01:20:24 Childhood Dreams

    01:25:09 TIffany on Final Five

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Why You Are Restricting Your Desires in Your Relationship & How to Stop Blocking Yourself from the Happiness You Deserve with Lisa Bilyeu

    Why You Are Restricting Your Desires in Your Relationship & How to Stop Blocking Yourself from the Happiness You Deserve with Lisa Bilyeu

    How do you identify when you're restricting your desires in a relationship?

    How can couples work together to align their desires and ensure mutual fulfillment?

    Today, Jay welcomes back his good friend Lisa Bilyeu. Lisa is a co-founder of the billion-dollar brand Quest Nutrition and the president of Impact Theory, a digital media company aimed at empowering content. With a strong focus on developing content that speaks to personal growth and empowerment, especially for women, Lisa has been a pivotal figure in shifting paradigms within her industry. Her show, "Women of Impact," addresses issues facing modern women, combining personal anecdotes with actionable advice.

    The core theme of this conversation is outlining a roadmap for individuals seeking to overcome insecurities and cultivate a resilient, action-oriented confidence. Jay and Lisa discuss the common misconceptions around confidence, emphasizing that it is not a prerequisite for action but a result of engaging with the world despite fears and doubts.

    Lisa shares how her initial need for external validation was a significant barrier to personal growth, sharing transformative moments that reshaped her understanding of confidence and self-worth. She stresses the importance of embracing imperfection and vulnerability as catalysts for genuine self-improvement and empowerment.

    In this interview, you'll learn:

    How to start building confidence

    How to validate yourself

    How to prioritize personal growth

    How to handle fear of judgment

    How to transform relationships

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    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    00:00 Intro

    03:32 How Do You Define Confidence?

    06:54 Believe You’re Capable

    09:54 Admitting That You’re Unhappy

    16:13 The Frame of Reference

    19:36 Everything Is A Risk

    27:42 Non-Negotiables in Relationships

    34:41 Conversations That Don’t Break Relationships

    41:30 Who Leads, Who Follows

    49:26 Conflicting Value System

    54:57 Don’t Assume, Find a Compromise

    59:21 Growth Mindset With Your Partner

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Matthew Hussey: 5 Reasons Why There is No Such Thing As The Right Person At The Wrong Time & How to Stop Missing Your Ex

    Matthew Hussey: 5 Reasons Why There is No Such Thing As The Right Person At The Wrong Time & How to Stop Missing Your Ex

    Does timing really matter in whether a relationship works?

    What are healthy ways to deal with a breakup?

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    In this interview, you'll learn:

    How to cultivate peaceful relationships without boredom

    How to deepen connections through vulnerability

    How to navigate modern dating with confidence

    How to enhance relationships with effective communication

    How to enrich love life through self-awareness

    Whether you're single, dating, or in a relationship, this episode offers valuable lessons on love, resilience, and the transformative power of embracing your true self.

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    00:00 Intro

    04:20 Where Does Your Idea of Love Come From?

    10:34 What Differentiates a Peaceful to a Boring Relationship?

    19:35 What Are Your Must-Haves in a Relationship?

    31:47 Tactics Are Different From Relationship Standards

    39:59 Egoic Standards Versus Setting Standards for Happiness

    51:20 Practice Having Real and Difficult Conversations

    01:04:48 The Importance of Communicating Your Thoughts and Feelings

    01:08:25 Is Your Partner the Right One for You?

    01:15:05 Dealing with the Different Phases of Heartbreak

    01:26:31 What’s Next for Matthew?    

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    7 Ways to Reduce the Time You Spend Overthinking & Make Better Decisions Quicker

    7 Ways to Reduce the Time You Spend Overthinking & Make Better Decisions Quicker

    How do you know when you're overthinking too much?

    How can you break the cycle of overthinking?

    Today, Jay will talk about the complexity of overthinking and how we can turn it around and look at things differently. Jay presents seven practical strategies to help listeners combat the grip of overthinking. These range from the psychological—to limit how many people's opinions we seek, preventing the confusion and indecision that too many perspectives can cause—to the physical, recommending activities that disengage the analytical brain and encourage mental reset, like exercise or simply moving around.

    In this episode, you'll learn:

    How to use over thinking for problem-solving

    How to manage alarmed responses

    How to use physical movement for mental clarity

    How to focus on positives and small wins

    Don't let overthinking hold you back! Start implementing these strategies today and take control of your mental space.

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    00:00 Intro

    00:52 Has Overthinking Slowed You Down?

    07:53 The Science Behind Overthinking

    10:50 #1: Overthinking as a Problem-Solving Approach

    14:24 #2: Don’t Ask Too Many People For Their Opinion

    18:19 #3: Avoid Responding While You’re Feeling Alarmed

    19:17 #4: Move Your Body When Your Mind Is Stuck

    20:32 #5: Focus on the Good Thing and Small Wins

    22:05 #6: Spontaneous Drawings Relieve Psychological Stress

    24:23 #7: Go Back to Analog

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Orlando Bloom: 3 Reasons Why You Need to Allow Yourself to Make Mistakes & Shift Your Perspective on Fear

    Orlando Bloom: 3 Reasons Why You Need to Allow Yourself to Make Mistakes & Shift Your Perspective on Fear

    Do you stop yourself from making mistakes? 

    Do you want to shift your perspective on fear? 

    Today, let’s welcome the one and only Orlando Bloom. Orlando gained widespread fame for his roles in some of the most popular films including The Lord of the Rings trilogy and Pirates of the Caribbean series. He will be seen starring in Peacock's limited adventure docuseries, To The Edge, which he also produced. Off-screen, Orlando is known for his humanitarian efforts, including his work as a UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador.

    Orlando shares insights from his life as an actor, adventurer, and someone deeply involved in spirituality. He talks about how meditation and mindfulness help him stay balanced despite the hectic nature of being a celebrity, his views on masculinity, the importance of embracing both masculine and feminine qualities, and striving for balance and introspection in life. We also get to hear stories about facing and overcoming fears, embracing vulnerability, and the lessons he's learned from these challenges. This episode isn't just about getting to know a renowned actor but diving into the personal journey of a man who is constantly looking for deeper meaning and connections in life.

    In this interview, you’ll learn:
    How to overcome fear
    How to maintain balance in a hectic life
    How to incorporate mindfulness into everyday activities
    How to explore and embrace different aspects of your personality
    How to use life's challenges as growth opportunities

    Tune in now for a discussion full of insights on overcoming fears, embracing spirituality, and pursuing personal growth.  

    With Love and Gratitude,
    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:
    02:28 Working in an Unscripted Space
    06:09 What’s Your Earliest Childhood Fear?
    08:35 Practicing Buddhism
    13:49 The Lotus Sutra
    20:16 The 8 Wins
    26:28 Trusting Your Life and Becoming Capable
    36:33 Being Present While on the Edge
    44:48 Any Moment Could Be Your Last
    45:43 The Deepest Mirror You’ll Ever Have
    48:58 What Did You Learn from Your Past Relationships?
    51:22 Introducing Buddhism Practice to My Kids
    55:33 Whatever You’re Saying, You Become
    01:02:22 Loving the Parenting Journey
    01:07:16 The Impacts of Your Decisions
    01:09:13 Opportunities Through Obstacles
    01:17:40 Buddhism Is My Anchor
    01:18:59 The Fear You’re Currently Overcoming
    01:26:04 Orlando Bloom on Final Five

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    4 Ways to Know if It Is Time To End Your Relationship (When the Signs Are Not Clear and Things are Not Bad)

    4 Ways to Know if It Is Time To End Your Relationship (When the Signs Are Not Clear and Things are Not Bad)

    Do you find yourself often thinking about breaking up?

    Do you and your partner have unresolved conflicts that keep resurfacing?

    In this episode, Jay tackles the tough emotions and uncertainty many face when considering a breakup. He talks about why people stay in or leave relationships, touching on key factors like emotional closeness, personal investment, and the impact of family responsibilities. Jay also discusses how to ensure emotional security and the risks of staying for financial reasons or out of obligation. 

    In this episode you’ll learn:

    How to recognize emotional investment

    How to assess emotional security

    How to consider financial implications

    How to navigate emotional intimacy

    This honest conversation provides you with the insights to evaluate your relationship more clearly, helping you decide whether to work on it or move on, based on a deeper understanding of your feelings and the relationship's dynamics.

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    00:00 Intro

    01:10 When to End Your Relationship

    04:48 10 Reason Why People Stay in a Relationship

    12:44 Top 10 Reasons to Leave Your Relationship

    18:14 The Three Cancers of the Mind

    24:44 Difference in Scorecard Perspective

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Benny Blanco: 3 Ways to Stop Caring About Failure & Get Out of Your Own Way

    Benny Blanco: 3 Ways to Stop Caring About Failure & Get Out of Your Own Way

    How can you overcome the fear of failure?

    What can you do daily to care less about failing?

    Today, Jay sits down with Benny Blanco for an inspiring conversation about pursuing passions, mentorship, failure, and continuous motivation. Benny has made a huge mark on the music industry contributing to hundreds of millions of album sales worldwide. Benny has worked with A-List artists like Ed Sheeran, Justin Bieber, and Katy Perry. As a solo artist, his albums "Friends Keep Secrets" and its sequel have amassed over 11 billion streams, featuring multiple platinum hits. Beyond music, Benny has ventured into television and even released a cookbook, "Open Wide," showcasing his diverse talents and interests

    Benny shares insight on how to not let failure stop you and getting over imposter syndrome. We also go dive into Benny’s life outside of music, exploring his passion for cooking through his cookbook "Open Wide." Plus, Benny talks about his relationships, how he keeps his creativity flowing, and the small joys that make his life special.

    In this interview, you’ll learn:

    How to pursue your passion with limited resources

    How to not let failure get in your way of achieving your goals

    How to embrace the unexpected in creative work

    How to transition your passion into different fields

    How to find joy and creativity in everyday moments

    Don't miss this intimate look at Benny Blanco's life and maybe learn a thing or two about making your own multi-track masterpiece or the perfect dish to serve at dinner!

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    00:00 Intro

    03:43 What’s the First Creative Thing You Put Together?

    06:15 I Never Cared About Failure

    10:33 Developing Amnesia to Failure

    14:22 How Did You Meet Your Mentor?

    18:10 “The Boy I Mentored” 

    23:42 How Do You Show Up After a Rejection?

    26:51 Love Can Be Felt Through Music

    29:56 What Do You Do When You Wake Up?   

    32:02 Why Do You Struggle with Meditation?

    33:28 Why I Went to Therapy

    38:25 The Pressure of Perfectionism

    44:49 Do You Love to Cook?

    47:20 Do You Eat Healthy?

    48:47 Finding Comfort in Food

    54:42 What’s Your Sleep Pattern?

    56:40 Friendships Built Over the Years

    59:19 Multigenerational Friendships

    01:03:44 Better Relationship After Divorce

    01:05:52 Benny on Final Five   

    01:15:57 What’s Your Vice?

    01:17:53 Do You Take Supplements?

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Why Your Self Worth is Keeping You Stuck & How to Stop Sabotaging Your Personal Growth With Jamie Kern Lima

    Why Your Self Worth is Keeping You Stuck & How to Stop Sabotaging Your Personal Growth With Jamie Kern Lima

    How does low self-worth stop you from moving forward?

    How can you stop self-sabotage and grow personally?

    Today, let’s welcome Jamie Kern Lima. Jamie is a New York Times bestselling author, founder of IT Cosmetics, a company she started in her living room and sold to L'Oreal in a billion-dollar deal, becoming the first female CEO of a brand in its 100+ year history. She's also an active philanthropist who has funded leadership training in more than 100 prisons and shelters across the US, and has donated over $40 million in product and funds to help women face the effects of cancer with confidence. 

    Jamie and Jay ponder on the meaning of self-worth, distinguishing it from mere confidence and challenging the misguided belief that our value is tied to our physical appearance. We get to hear the detrimental effects of self-doubt and present empowering strategies to transform your relationship with rejection, offering a new perspective that fosters resilience and self-compassion. 

    And then the conversation dives deep into personal beliefs, urging us to identify and discard unhelpful misconceptions, while giving emphasis on why authenticity is crucial and its role in conjunction with other factors in achieving success. 

    In this interview, you'll learn:

    How to build self-worth

    How to distinguish confidence from self-worth

    How to handle rejection

    How to overcome self-doubt

    How to remain authentic

    Together, let's learn how to distinguish your worth from external validation, turn rejection into a stepping stone, and live authentically.

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    00:00 Intro

    03:17 Do You Feel Worthy Today?

    10:04 Confusing Confidence with Self Worth

    17:37 Your Weight Impacts Your Worth is a Lie 

    24:03 What Has Self Doubt Cost You?

    31:25 How to Change Your Relationship with Rejection

    37:02 The 4-Part R to Reframe Rejection

    44:00 You Need This Today

    48:13 Which Lie Are You Trying to Unlearn? 

    56:32 Authenticity Alone Doesn’t Guarantee Success

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.