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    Just One Thing

    A weekly discussion of small behaviors you can embrace to 1. Enhance your relationships, 2. Improve your heath, 3. Manage your stress, and 4. Just be happier. Your hosts Brad and Lisa Stearns have decades of experience working with folks like you to dramatically improve their lives with step-by-step changes.
    en-usBrad and Lisa Stearns133 Episodes

    Episodes (133)

    Having Deeper Conversations

    Having Deeper Conversations

    Studies have shown that the true secret to lifetime happiness is the quality of your connections.  This week, Lisa and Brad explore how having deeper conversations can enhance the quality of your connections.



    Have you ever found yourself trapped in a cycle of monotonous small talk, yearning to break free and forge genuine connections? Our conversation today is a treasure trove of strategies for anyone eager to transform their chit-chat into memorable interactions that resonate on a deeper level. As we reminisce about the lost art of conversational mastery, I share my own journey towards becoming a more engaged listener and inquisitive converser. With insights from our guest, a networking sage, we unpack the subtle yet powerful techniques of sparking dialogue with observations and meaningful questions. Whether you're an introvert who dreads ice-breakers or an extrovert looking to add depth to your discussions, this episode is your guide to winning friends and influencing people—one conversation at a time.

    This session isn't just about talking—it's about listening, responding, and connecting in ways that leave a lasting impression. We'll explore the FBI negotiator's playbook for establishing rapport swiftly and dive into the practicalities of preparing for conversations with new acquaintances. By sharing anecdotes and coaching tips, we demonstrate the importance of curiosity and empathy in building emotional bonds. So, whether you're hoping to rekindle the flame of a long-time friendship or spark a new one at the gym, tune in and equip yourself with the tools to elevate every conversation from mundane to meaningful.

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    Transitions Are Hard

    Transitions Are Hard

    Major life transitions are frequent and usually difficult. This week, Lisa and Brad explore life transitions and discuss ways to more effectively navigate them, maintaining more equanimity and acceptance. 


    As we traverse the ever-shifting landscape of our lives, each transition carves into our identity like water shapes the earth. Today, we share a raw and intimate conversation about wrestling with the loss of youth and the dawning of older age, a topic that deeply resonates with many. We peel back the layers of anxiety and identity crisis that accompany these life chapters, and offer a space to grieve the past while embracing the future. Whether it's the decline of physical prowess or the appearance of new health challenges, we confront the real emotions tied to these changes and the delicate art of redefining who we are.

    In our latest episode, we don't just recount stories; we immerse ourselves in the experience of them. Join us for a candid exploration of confronting physical limitations during a transformative yoga retreat, where we face our vulnerabilities head-on. It's a testament to the power of living in the present, whether it means savoring victories or sitting with discomfort. We unpack the notion that it's not only acceptable but necessary to acknowledge when life's rough tides knock us off course. If you've ever felt adrift amidst the ebbs and flows of life's transitions, let this discussion be your beacon, lighting the path toward self-compassion and a renewed sense of self.

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    Smart Choices Taste Like Broccoli

    Smart Choices Taste Like Broccoli

    Smart choices are usually hard choices, think going to the gym instead of Netflix or broccoli instead of cake. This week, Lisa and Brad explore why our best choices are usually somewhat unpleasant and how to overcome this dilemma , at least some of the time. 




    Ever wondered why it's just so hard to pass up a slice of cake for a stalk of broccoli? Join us and our co-host Lisa as we get real about the challenges of making smart, healthy choices in a world teeming with tasty temptations. We're not just talking greens and grains; we're peeling back the layers of our evolutionary cravings for the sweet, the salty, and the downright fatty. It's a candid reflection on our own food journeys, the pitfalls of self-criticism, and how we're learning to love the choices that love us back, one nutritious bite at a time.

    In this heart-to-heart, we also unveil our toolkit for tackling the procrastination beast and seamlessly weaving those wise decisions into our lives. Starting small can lead to big changes, and we're all about celebrating the victories—whether it's saying 'yes' to veggies or finding joy in a jog around the block. Plus, we'll let you in on how a little reward can go a long way to make the mundane magnificent. So, hit play for a dose of motivation and perhaps a new perspective on giving yourself that pat on the back for choosing what's good for you. Let's embrace our unique strengths and toast—to a happier, healthier you!

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    Improve Your Morning Routine

    Improve Your Morning Routine

    Having a solid morning routine can greatly improve your life.  This week, Lisa and Brad explore how to construct a morning routine that will make a positive difference.




    When I was grappling with the darkest period of my life, suffocating under the weight of ill health, it was the discovery of a morning routine that breathed new life into my days. Inspired by Hal Elrod's "The Miracle Morning," I embraced the S.A.V.E.R.S. philosophy, and it's this journey of transformation that I'm thrilled to unfold for you. Embarking on this episode, we navigate through the potent mix of Silence, Affirmations, Visualization, Exercise, Reading, and Scribing, examining how these elements can be tailored to fit any lifestyle, from those who have the luxury of time to others who can spare only minutes at dawn. It's a candid reveal of my personal evolution, a testament to the power these practices hold in fueling productivity, fostering positivity, and enhancing well-being.

    As the sun peeks over the horizon, many of us face the familiar foe of morning dread—a slumbering dragon that I, too, once fought every day. In this heart-to-heart, I share the tactics that helped me slay that beast: grounding myself in gratitude, indulging in affirmations, and steering clear of the mental 'bad place playground.' We discuss the importance of being present and how it can reshape our morning narrative, setting us on a path to happiness and success. Every one of us has a default routine, but with intention and practice, we can forge a routine that serves as our ally. So whether you're a perennial snoozer or the kind who greets the dawn with open arms, let's discover together how mornings can be a launchpad for a life that soars.

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    Dealing With Rumination

    Dealing With Rumination

    Rumination can be very difficult to deal with and can negatively impact your day to day happiness.  This week, Lisa and Brad discuss how to recognize rumination and how to better cope with it, when it appears. 




    Ever found yourself trapped in a whirlwind of thoughts that just won't quit? That's the rumination rollercoaster, and it's a ride many of us know all too well. Join us as we dissect this sneaky cognitive loop that masquerades as problem-solving but actually hinders our mental health and relationships. Reflecting on our own battles with these persistent thought patterns, we dive into the nuances that separate rumination from worry and obsession. More importantly, we're here to equip you with the know-how to recognize when your brain is stuck on replay and share actionable strategies to help manage and alleviate the relentless cycle.

    Have you ever wished you could turn down the volume on your overthinking? We get it, and we've been there. That's why this episode is not just about understanding rumination; it's about transforming our approach to it. With an empathetic nod to the human psyche, we discuss how to embrace mindfulness techniques that can steer your thoughts toward calmer seas. Hear about the personal journey of reducing overthinking by a significant margin, and discover how mantras and reflective questioning can serve as your anchors. By tuning in, you'll learn the art of catching yourself mid-spiral and consciously redirecting your mind to the present—because sometimes, the best way to move forward is to pause and breathe. Don't forget to subscribe for more episodes focused on fostering a healthier, more centered you.

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    Don't Keep Score

    Don't Keep Score

    It's human nature to want to keep score and, at the same time, doing so is almost certainly damaging your relationships.  This week, Lisa and Brad discuss how to recognize when you're keeping score, how to break the habit , and build better more trusting relationships.




    Have you ever found yourself silently tallying who does more in your relationship? It's a battle I've fought too, and this week, we're peeling back the layers on the delicate topic of scorekeeping in partnerships. In a candid exploration, we delve into why this habit can be so corrosive, sharing personal stories that shed light on how an expectation mismatch can sow the seeds of resentment. We'll also discuss the often invisible contributions each partner makes and underscore the critical role of communication in recognizing and valuing these efforts.

    Navigating the balance of chores and emotional labor can be like walking a tightrope, but it's a highwire act we're all too familiar with. This episode takes an honest look at how partners can fall into the trap of scorekeeping and the importance of establishing an equitable division of labor and emotional investment. We dissect how mutual understanding and adaptability can counteract the sneaky creep of inequality, ensuring that love isn't lost amidst the daily grind of reciprocal obligations. It's a conversation about the beauty of flexibility and patience in love's intricate dance.

    Closing the discussion, we turn our attention to strategies for overcoming the tally mentality. From the wisdom of "Crucial Conversations," we extract tools for creating a "shared pool of meaning" with your partner, a concept that can revolutionize the way you align expectations. We'll guide you through the early signs of scorekeeping, the art of initiating transformative dialogues, and embracing a collective approach to fulfilling each other's needs. Join us for an episode that promises not just insights but actionable steps to building a stronger, more harmonious union.

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    The Power Of Your Breath

    The Power Of Your Breath

    Improper breathing can actually cause poor health and magnify anxiety.  This week, Lisa and Brad explore what a healthy breath feels like and how learning to breath correctly can be your first step on the path to health, happiness, and more mindful living.




    Discover the unexpected key to serenity that's been with you all along—your breath. Within this heartfelt discussion, we delve into how something as intrinsic as the way we breathe can have a profound impact on our stress levels and mental well-being. I offer a glimpse into my own transformation, from the clutches of chronic shallow breathing to the liberation of mindful belly breaths, despite my lungs' limited capacity. Join us as we unravel the physiological secrets behind breath's influence on our bodies and minds, and share practical techniques to help you transition to a more relaxed and beneficial breathing pattern.

    We also take a reflective journey into the past, examining how our childhood experiences shape our breathing habits and set the stage for our future selves. It's a chapter of introspection and awareness, where the focus is on self-observation and the recognition of our breath as a powerful tool for personal growth. No guest needed when we're exploring the intimate narratives of our own lives and the subtle yet substantial shifts that can arise from simply being more present with each inhale and exhale. Tune in for an episode that promises not just to inform, but to transform the way you breathe and, consequently, how you face the world.

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    You Don't Have To Be Right

    You Don't Have To Be Right

    The need always be right has a negative impact on all of your relationships.  This week, Lisa and Brad discuss this incessant need to be right, exploring why it is so harmful and examining ways, with awareness and practice,  it can be overcome.




    Imagine a recent evening spent with friends, laughter echoing around the room, until a dispute over a game rule brings a sudden chill. We've all been there, right? That's the springboard for our heartfelt discussion on why prioritizing harmony in our relationships can be more fulfilling than the relentless pursuit of proving oneself correct. We navigate the delicate balance of standing your ground versus embracing peace for the collective happiness, all while sharing relatable anecdotes and a dose of self-reflection. Join us as we uncover the hidden costs of the 'I'm right' syndrome and discover strategies for fostering healthier, more trusting connections.

    As we peel back the layers of our need for control, we encounter the pivotal role of humility. Disagreements, especially over the little things, can add unnecessary weight to our closest bonds. We probe into how a simple catchphrase can serve as a powerful tool to combat the urge to assert dominance through being right. Without shying away from our vulnerabilities, we candidly discuss embracing our imperfections and the transformative power this can have on our relationships. Tune in for an episode that promises introspection and perhaps, a gentle nudge towards a more respectful and harmonious way of living.

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    Not Everyone Shares Your Talents

    Not Everyone Shares Your Talents

    Everyone has a different set of talents and recognizing that fact can go a long way in improving your relationships. This week, Lisa and Brad explore exactly what talents are, and provide examples that you can use to understand why unrecognized talent disparity can cause so many relationship  problems.




    Ever marveled at someone's effortless charisma or envied another's punctuality? This week's episode peels back the layers of human talents, examining the rich variety that makes each of us extraordinary. I unravel the tapestry of attributes, from the way Lisa masterfully sidesteps procrastination to why some struggle with the concept of 'time blindness.' It's an exploration into acknowledging that the talents we admire in others may not come as naturally to us, and that's perfectly okay.

    Venture with me into the often overlooked corners of innate abilities and their undeniable influence on our personal and professional interactions. We're not all cut from the same cloth when it comes to skills like communication and empathy, and that's a game-changer in how we approach success. Without a guest to distract us, we get down to the nitty-gritty of managing expectations and fostering growth by embracing the unique talents each of us brings to the table. Join me, and together let's sculpt a life that not only celebrates our distinct gifts but also forges stronger, more empathetic connections with the people in our lives.

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    Get Your Mom's Voice Out of Your Head

    Get Your Mom's Voice Out of Your Head

    For better or worse, your parents establish social and relationship expectations that become a long list of "should do's"  in your subconscious.   This week, Lisa and Brad explore this "voice in your head" and discuss the ways you can break free.  


    Ever felt burdened by the weight of expectations, especially those ingrained by our mothers? Dive headfirst into this riveting exploration as we, Brad and Lisa Stearns, guide you through the maze of societal and familial expectations, often colored by the lens of maternal teachings. We unmask the guilt, obligation, and emotional drain these expectations can unfold, challenging you to question their validity and choose whether to adhere or break away from these inherited norms, especially during the emotionally charged holiday season. 

    Ever noticed how the 'mom's voice' has subtly influenced your choices and steered your actions? We elevate this conversation to recognize this internalized voice, its evolution, and its undeniable impact on our lives. Through candid discussions, we stress on setting personal boundaries, making decisions that resonate with your well-being, even if they clash with the expectations of others. Remember, the journey to recognizing and managing this voice requires practice and unwavering commitment. Tune in and awaken to the influence your 'mom's voice' has on your thoughts and actions, and transform your life into a fulfilling and mindful journey.

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    Take a Mindful Staycation

    Take a Mindful Staycation

    A mindful staycation is the perfect solution for dealing with burnout and stress.  This week, Lisa and Brad discuss the benefits of a mindful staycation and present several activities that can make it both healing and enjoyable.

    Are you ready to shake up your life and cultivate a more mindful existence, all within the comfort of your own home? This episode is brimming with enlightening strategies to create a rejuvenating and invigorating staycation. We'll share the benefits of such a break from routines, help you understand how to embrace discomfort, and guide you to become more aware of your thoughts and emotions. We also shed light on the power of breaking free from unhealthy habits and replacing them with more recovery-oriented and stress-reducing practices.

    Do you believe that mindfulness activities require an extravagant budget? Think again! We'll challenge your perceptions and prove that mindfulness can be attained even through simple and creative activities like taking a bath or playing with play-doh. It's about exploring the sensations in our body and questioning our assumptions about the “ick” of sitting in our own dirt. We also explore how weather, often seen as a hindrance, can actually be a catalyst for softening our inner selves and exploring our strong emotions. Plus, we share resources and ideas to kick-start your mindful journey and remind listeners about our free book of mindful activities. Let's embark on this journey of mindfulness together!

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    Stress and Day-To-Day Forgiveness

    Stress and Day-To-Day Forgiveness

    What seem to be negative encounters are unavoidable, as we go about our daily business, and each will elicit an almost uncontrollable stress response.   This week, Lisa and Brad explore these constant social stressors and discuss a few techniques to get yourself out of the resultant negative thought loops. 



    Ever wonder why something as petty as someone cutting the line at Panera can send you spiraling into a stress response? Get ready to expose and explore the biology behind our fear responses, the impact of long-term stress on our health, and the sheer number of thoughts we have each day that can make it hard to stay present. 

    Let's journey together into the realm of self-forgiveness, understanding our natural wiring, and the art of thought reframing. We'll share strategies for scripting a different narrative, a method that helps us restructure negative thoughts. Discover how reframing our perception of daily events and interactions can foster an atmosphere of grace and forgiveness, ultimately reducing stress. Brace yourself for a deep dive into everyday forgiveness and stress management!

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    The Illusion of Control

    The Illusion of Control

    All humans crave control in their lives, especially in volatile  times.  This week, Lisa and Brad explore  just how little control we really have and discuss strategies for dealing with this uncertainty. 

    Ever wondered why we constantly crave control, even when life continually proves how unpredictable it can be? Buckle up for a profound exploration into the 'illusion of control' that we're all subconsciously wired to believe. We dissect our deep-seated need for control, tracing it back to our ancestors who sought to control their environment, leading to the birth of various superstitions and religions. We dig deep into the paradox of control, discussing how our brains are designed to keep us safe but also how this can lead us to harbor false beliefs and create unnecessary stress in our lives.

    But hold on, it's not all doom and gloom! We're diving into the liberating idea of 'letting go of control', highlighting the importance of acknowledging what's within our control and what's not. We share how this simple yet profound realization can invite peace and calm into our lives. From the power of mindfulness and meditation to the value of owning our reactions to life's unpredictable twists and turns, we're dropping truth bombs galore. So, tune in, open your mind, and prepare for a journey towards personal growth, acceptance, and a new perspective on control. Your life might just depend on it!

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    My Mind Won't Stop Racing

    My Mind Won't Stop Racing

    There are times when your mind just won't stop racing.  This week, Lisa and Brad explore this unpleasant experience and describe techniques you can use to alleviate your distress.

    Ever wake up at the bewitching hour of 4 or 5 in the morning with your mind spiraling out of control? Fear not, we've been there too, and it's not as scary as it seems. This episode is all about our personal struggle with these racing thoughts, a phenomenon possibly tied to biarrhythms, and how we've learned to manage it. We go in-depth about how our brains are wired to seek out fear and how, armed with this knowledge, we can step in and prevent our mind from spiraling into panic.

    By sharing our personal experiences, we take you through the mindfulness techniques that have been a game changer for us. Focusing on positive words, employing affirmations, and putting a halt to negative thoughts are some of the strategies we talk about. We also delve into the importance of consistency in practice for successfully managing racing thoughts. We guide you on how to choose the right mindfulness tool and commit to a regular practice, reminding you that it doesn't have to be perfect right away. Stick with us as we tackle these seemingly insurmountable spirals and teach you how to wrestle back control from your racing thoughts.

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