In Pursuit of the Better You

This episode explores a common theme in leadership coaching for Becki and Fay - "I'm not a manager, so what I say doesn't matter!"

Is this something that's true for you?

Do you feel that your voice doesn't matter in a room? That your views aren't valid?

As we explore this, we wonder if it's a cultural issue - or, what's in a title?

This impacts people in terms of their frustrations, development, innovation, building relationships, and fostering leadership...

Contact

Fay - https://www.fayblakey.com 

Rebekah - https://www.quest4est.co.uk

Thank you to Jon at Wahhoo Media for our production: https://www.wahhoo.co.uk

Today it's Fay's turn to have a rant!

Do you follow Gurus on social media and take them at their every word?

People set themselves up as 'experts' and we follow them - but then I see people losing the ability to think for themselves around the 'experts' subject. Asking questions like 'is this allowed?'

Critical thinking and making decisions is our responsibility.

If you really want to look for something, there will be evidence for something, everywhere - for and against. This is great because it means we don't have to take things at face value - we can read more into the subject, query what we're learning, check the facts, and make our own decisions. 

Contact

Fay - https://www.fayblakey.com 

Rebekah - https://www.quest4est.co.uk

Thank you to Jon at Wahhoo Media for our production: https://www.wahhoo.co.uk

Do you find yourself saying that people never listen to you? Or they never take you seriously? Or you have some other thought about someone that you take with you - maybe they often wind you up, etc. 

Here's something to consider: if we only base the things we think about people from their past behaviours - they're never going to grow in the present.

We can all change - and if people never allow you to show who you are now - then they will only ever know a previous version of you. 

Human nature means we have perceptions of people, hold grudges, have bad experiences, etc. Still, we have to remember that we can all change because we continue to develop based on our experiences and learning that we want to take on board. 

It's important to understand the impact we have on others as well as the impact they have on us. 

Contact

Fay - https://www.fayblakey.com 

Rebekah - https://www.quest4est.co.uk

Thank you to Jon at Wahhoo Media for our production: https://www.wahhoo.co.uk

Can you do everything?

This year, so far, (2024), Fay has been making a jigsaw of her diary to get 'on top' of everything. 

Subconsciously, she has seen messages from 'everywhere' saying 'you can't do everything'!

What happens as a result of taking everything on board - where does this leave us as people?

Before we know it, all our spare hours can be taken up with things we need to do - so we end up with no space to just 'be'. We can get into a habit of feeling that we must always be 'doing, doing, doing'. 

But, here's the thing - just 'being' is enough! Just with yourself without distractions of tv, music, a book, a podcast, etc. 

Contact

Fay - https://www.fayblakey.com 

Rebekah - https://www.quest4est.co.uk

Thank you to Jon at Wahhoo Media for our production: https://www.wahhoo.co.uk

Becki wonders 'Is nothing good and pure anymore in and of itself?'

Things like: fiddling the algorithm on social media to your advantage; manipulating stories; getting one over on others for your own means, etc.

Technology enables competition and allows us to get ahead. Subsequently, this takes away the purity we may once have taken for granted. 

As consumers of technology and information, we must do our due diligence to ensure we're not being hoodwinked and manipulated. It certainly makes it very difficult to know what we can believe these days!

Contact

Fay - https://www.fayblakey.com 

Rebekah - https://www.quest4est.co.uk

Thank you to Jon at Wahhoo Media for our production: https://www.wahhoo.co.uk

Are you in alignment with your personal values?

Perhaps you’re not sure. Let’s face it, how often do we outwardly consider our values. But you will know when you’re out of alignment because something will just feel off.

So, take this opportunity to think about your values – how are you feeling about them? Do you need to reframe them in any way to help you make meaning of where you are right now? Are they even still current?

Contact

Fay - https://www.fayblakey.com 

Rebekah - https://www.quest4est.co.uk

Thank you to Jon at Wahhoo Media for our production: https://www.wahhoo.co.uk

How do you think you're perceived at work?

This episode is inspired by a few different female clients who have talked about being perceived as a bitch - either because they have something to say or because of their way of working. 

This is something Becki talks about having experienced in the workplace herself.

Do we need to worry about how others perceive us?

It's about:

• taking on the role and doing our job
• putting the boundaries in place that enable us to do this
• being able to speak up in meetings
• understanding we have the expertise
  Feeling comfortable in our professional shoes - self-confidence and self-worth and being assertive. 

Let's not forget 'Bitch' =  to make spiteful and critical comments.

Contact

Fay - https://www.fayblakey.com 

Rebekah - https://www.quest4est.co.uk

Thank you to Jon at Wahhoo Media for our production: https://www.wahhoo.co.uk

Talking about the Window of Tolerance concept - coined by Dr. Dan Siegel, MD - how we understand and describe our body and brain reactions. 

To have 'tolerance'.

We all have a window for tolerance that can get bigger or smaller depending on what's going on in our lives. 

How wide is your window of tolerance? What's happening in your life that might affect it - and how? What might you need to do to open up your window of tolerance and how will that impact you?

To have a window of tolerance - we need to have our needs met!

Contact

Fay - https://www.fayblakey.com 

Rebekah - https://www.quest4est.co.uk

Thank you to Jon at Wahhoo Media for our production: https://www.wahhoo.co.uk

Is 'Coaching' becoming a bit of a buzzword in Leadership Development?

Leadership development often talks about different leadership styles - and a coaching style is one. Still, we wonder if leaders are adopting a true coaching style or paying lip service to it!

Coaching is different to advice and mentoring - and we often see some confusion here. 

Key coaching skills that can be missed here are: deep listening; time for thought; letting go of the need to have the answers; and when and when not to use a coaching approach. 

Contact

Fay - https://www.fayblakey.com 

Rebekah - https://www.quest4est.co.uk

Thank you to Jon at Wahhoo Media for our production: https://www.wahhoo.co.uk

How do you let your team know that they're important to you? Do you value them?

Strong relationships are important with your team regarding productivity, performance and profits. 

Everyone needs to understand WHY they come to work - how THEY make a difference - and if you're not valuing your team, that understanding can quickly disappear (on a personal level). You'll then start to see issues arise - absenteeism, productivity, etc. 

Have listen to this episode for some ideas you can implement to show your team how you value them.

Contact

Fay - https://www.fayblakey.com 

Rebekah - https://www.quest4est.co.uk

Thank you to Jon at Wahhoo Media for our production: https://www.wahhoo.co.uk

Things can easily become stressful situations - sometimes they're little things you feel shouldn't be stressful. 

My stress will be different to yours. 

What matters, is what we do about it. 

At this time of year, we take on quite a mental load and there are expectations put upon us that we have to deal with. All of this can add to our stress bucket!

It's important to recognise these little things, so that we can explore the reality of our situation and help ourselves through so that they don't add to the bigger things. 

Remember: there are no gold starts for those who have the most stressful things going on in their life.  

Contact

Fay - https://www.fayblakey.com 

Rebekah - https://www.quest4est.co.uk

Thank you to Jon at Wahhoo Media for our production: https://www.wahhoo.co.uk

Are you busy being busy - busy keeping occupied doing things that you think are important - but are these things actually moving the needle for you?

Do you know you're busy? Are you always busy? What are you achieving whilst you're busy?

This then can lead to overwhelm - where are you with regard to this?

All of this comes back to organisation? What is it that you actually want to get done? How can you make sure you do just that?

We share some strategies for helping you to be focused on what you need to do.

Contact

Fay - https://www.fayblakey.com 

Rebekah - https://www.quest4est.co.uk

Thank you to Jon at Wahhoo Media for our production: https://www.wahhoo.co.uk

Bad leadership - when do we see this and what does it mean?

Toxicity - and the toxic culture - why does this happen?

Egos! Are leaders making leadership about themselves? Is it even leadership if it's not working?

Have a listen to see what we think - and of course, we'd love to know your thoughts too.

Contact

Fay - https://www.fayblakey.com 

Rebekah - https://www.quest4est.co.uk

Thank you to Jon at Wahhoo Media for our production: https://www.wahhoo.co.uk

In this episode, Becki poses the question "what would we be if we weren't coaches?"

So we ponder on this - chat about what we've done before and what our interests are now - and what lights our fire. 

Tune in to listen to find out!

Contact

Fay - https://www.fayblakey.com 

Rebekah - https://www.quest4est.co.uk

Thank you to Jon at Wahhoo Media for our production: https://www.wahhoo.co.uk

Does working on your own hamper your personal and professional development? - Talking about what we pick up from our working environment and working with other people. 

We pick up so much from just being around other people - quick, short, sharp conversations or even listening to other conversations. Do we therefore struggle because we're not around other people so much?

We're noticing people are happy to be socialising more again.

There's also the fun element - bouncing ideas around the desk, which can lead to another level of conversation. 

Contact

Fay - https://www.fayblakey.com 

Rebekah - https://www.quest4est.co.uk

Thank you to Jon at Wahhoo Media for our production: https://www.wahhoo.co.uk

We get a bee in our bonnets about communication!

And so, this episode is about 'clear' communication and why it's important. 

People's expectations can be managed with clear communication when we take responsibility for the messages we're giving. 

Think - 'What do I need to communicate?''Is my message consistent?' 'What have I said before about this?' 'How can people find out more information about this? - or FAQs.'

Also, consider what's easier for you - verbal or written communication. And consider who is receiving your communication - and what's best for them.

Contact

Fay - https://www.fayblakey.com 

Rebekah - https://www.quest4est.co.uk

Thank you to Jon at Wahhoo Media for our production: https://www.wahhoo.co.uk

What are you willing to give up in order to get what you want? What a great question!

Do you really need to give anything up - why can't you just have it all?

But don't assume that you need to give up something good!

Also, is it us trying to have it all that leads to chronic stress and burnout?

We share an exercise to help you prioritise your goals - Warren Buffet's 'Danger 20'.

Contact

Fay - https://www.fayblakey.com 

Rebekah - https://www.quest4est.co.uk

Thank you to Jon at Wahhoo Media for our production: https://www.wahhoo.co.uk

The weight and responsibility of leadership - inspired by mine and Becki's clients. 

Leadership training, courses, books - don't really cover what the role of leadership really means. Bringing leadership to a human level means 'who and I and where do I sit in leadership?' 'how can I lead and inspire people?' - it's a weight and a responsibility. 

When we get into the nitty gritty of leadership roles, there's so much we weren't expecting to be there. 

We don't want to be dragged down by the role - we can't operate at our best from this level. 

In this episode, we explore what leadership can look like for you and how you can play around with different styles of leadership and make the role your own. 

Contact

Fay - https://www.fayblakey.com 

Rebekah - https://www.quest4est.co.uk

Thank you to Jon at Wahhoo Media for our production: https://www.wahhoo.co.uk

How can hobbies help you with your development of yourself?

Do you have a hobby?

I talk about the fact that I don't have anything that I perceive to be a hobby. But do my hobbies look different to how I perceive other peoples to be?

We talk about how hobbies can help you to regulate your nervous system and why that's important. 

Contact

Fay - https://www.fayblakey.com 

Rebekah - https://www.quest4est.co.uk

Thank you to Jon at Wahhoo Media for our production: https://www.wahhoo.co.uk

An episode inspired by the sitcom 'Schitt's Creek'!

And we're talking about - can you trust your instincts?

Where does the message come from when we feel we have instincts? The brain or the body? Past experiences or something new?

We have data within our body that we can rely on - but we need to know how to access it and interpret it. So we give you an idea of how you can start to do this. 

Contact

Fay - https://www.fayblakey.com 

Rebekah - https://www.quest4est.co.uk

Thank you to Jon at Wahhoo Media for our production: https://www.wahhoo.co.uk