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    Is My Hoarding Caused by My Anxiety?

    enSeptember 18, 2023

    Podcast Summary

    • Decluttering as a way to manage anxietyDecluttering can help manage anxiety by reducing the symptoms and allowing us to focus on what truly matters. Finding creative outlets and community support are also essential for mental and emotional well-being.

      Sometimes, the clutter in our lives may not be the cause of our anxiety, but rather a symptom of it. We may hold onto things as a way to protect ourselves, creating a "moat" around us. A guest on the Doctor John DeLoney Show shared her experience of decluttering her home after years of hoarding, which helped her manage her anxiety. Congratulations to her for taking the challenging step towards a more minimalist lifestyle. The interview also highlighted the Battle of the Bands event at Ramsey Solutions, where employees showcase their musical talents. The event underscores the importance of finding creative outlets and community support in managing mental and emotional health.

    • Anxiety and clutter: interconnectedAnxiety and clutter are linked, with anxiety sometimes stemming from underlying issues rather than the clutter itself. Confronting these root causes can lead to growth and healing.

      Anxiety and clutter are interconnected. While decluttering may bring relief for some, for others, it can trigger deep-rooted emotions and anxiety. This anxiety might not be caused by the clutter itself but rather be a coping mechanism to avoid dealing with underlying issues. These issues could stem from past traumas, relationships, or financial situations. The anxiety response system, once activated, can create a vicious cycle of gathering things as a form of protection. To heal, it's essential to confront the root causes of the anxiety and face the relationships or situations that need addressing. The hardest part is that there's no avoiding or numbing the anxiety – it must be faced head-on for growth and healing. Ultimately, understanding this connection can help individuals make more conscious decisions about their belongings and emotional well-being.

    • Growing up with a struggling parentThe constant presence of a struggling parent can leave a deep emotional bond that's hard to break, acknowledging and addressing the past can help heal, and small steps towards healing can lead to peace with the past.

      Growing up with a parent who struggles with addiction can be more challenging than if they abandon you completely. The constant presence of a struggling parent can leave a child feeling confused and desperate to connect, creating a deep emotional bond that can be difficult to break. The speaker shares her experience of growing up with an alcoholic mother and the impact it had on her, even into her adulthood. She emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and addressing the past, including writing letters to her mother as a way to process her feelings and let go. By focusing on decluttering and taking small steps towards healing, the speaker encourages others to face their final dragon and find peace with their past.

    • Moving forward from the past through personal growth and real connectionsAcknowledge past truths, make amends, and build real relationships for personal growth, whether through 12-step programs or in-person connections.

      Letting go of the past and focusing on personal growth involves acknowledging the truth, making amends, and building real-life relationships. The speaker shared how he discovered his ex-girlfriend's commitment to her recovery, which inspired him to celebrate his 30-year sobriety anniversary. He emphasized the importance of the 12-step program in helping him let go of the past and focusing on building meaningful relationships, even if they start online. The speaker also shared the importance of facing fears and making personal connections with people in the real world, as opposed to relying solely on virtual relationships. By focusing on personal growth and building real connections, the speaker was able to move forward and find joy in what comes next.

    • The importance of real-life connections for personal growth and healingConnecting with others in-person and seeking professional help are crucial for personal growth and healing during challenging times.

      Building real-life connections and seeking support from others is crucial for personal growth and healing, especially during challenging times. Social media can provide a sense of community, but it cannot replace the depth and authenticity of in-person relationships. By branching out and reaching out to new groups and individuals, we can find people who truly understand our experiences and offer valuable support. This process involves taking the time to connect with others, both through letters and in-person interactions. Grief, in particular, demands a witness, and sharing our experiences with trusted friends can help us process our emotions and move forward. Additionally, it's important to remember that healing often requires professional help and self-care practices, such as therapy and bodywork. Overall, investing in meaningful relationships and seeking support from others is essential for personal growth and emotional well-being.

    • Exploring Faith and Mental Wellness with Hallow AppThe Hallow app offers spiritual growth, mental wellness resources, and inspiring speakers. Prioritize children's wellbeing, recognizing potential impact of actions on their future.

      The Hallow app is a valuable resource for those seeking spiritual growth, mental wellness, and access to inspiring speakers and content. The app offers a variety of prayers, meditations, and daily Psalms, as well as sections dedicated to mental health and children. The app's calming Lo Fi music is particularly noteworthy. For those exploring their faith or seeking deeper spiritual connection, Hallow offers three free months with the code "deloney" at hallow.com. During the discussion, a listener named Justin shared his anxiety over his oldest child's early signs of depression and potential suicide risk. The listener was frozen with the decision to move or stay, leading to lost productivity and income. The host emphasized the importance of prioritizing Justin's child's wellbeing and acknowledged the long-term struggle. The listener's son had shown signs of depression in 8th grade, with slipping grades and a lack of motivation. Despite improvement with intervention, the son still lacked responsibility and would regress without strict consequences. The host suggested that the son's behavior was a reflection of the instructions he had been given his whole life, and urged the listener to consider the potential impact of their actions on their child's future.

    • Deep-rooted insecurities and a need for validation driving academic successRecognize when a child's academic success stems from deep-rooted insecurities, provide a supportive environment, and encourage a growth mindset.

      Academic success can sometimes be a response to deep-rooted insecurities and a need for validation. This can stem from childhood experiences, such as a traumatic divorce or a cultural emphasis on avoiding failure. This mindset can lead to a child outsourcing their sense of worth to their academic performance, and ultimately, viewing their own value based on grades and report cards. It's essential to recognize this pattern and provide a loving and supportive environment for the child to address these underlying emotions. This may involve counseling, self-reflection, and understanding that mistakes and failures are part of the learning process. It's crucial to encourage a growth mindset and celebrate effort and progress rather than solely focusing on the end result.

    • The importance of love and education in raising a childWhile high standards drive success, love and education form a strong foundation for a child's growth. Valid social considerations, like moving to a new school, can improve overall well-being.

      While high standards can drive hard work and success, they should not be the sole focus in raising a child. The speaker shares how her son's upbringing, surrounded by loving and educated parents, gave him a strong foundation for growth. However, moving to a new school for social reasons is a valid consideration, especially if it significantly improves the child's overall well-being. The speaker's reluctance to move stems from past struggles with financial instability and the fear of upending a comfortable life. Ultimately, true healing from anxiety, depression, and relational issues comes from within and cannot be achieved through external factors alone. While changing environments can provide relief, it is essential to address the root causes of these issues through therapy and self-reflection.

    • Addressing family mental health issuesPrioritize mental health, seek therapy, practice self-care, and communicate openly with family for personal growth and family well-being.

      Addressing underlying issues such as anxiety and mental health is crucial for personal growth and the well-being of the entire family. The speaker shares his own journey of dealing with chronic anxiety and how it impacted his family. He emphasizes the importance of self-care, therapy, and open communication with family members. The speaker also suggests starting small steps towards healing, like reading books and seeking additional counseling resources. He encourages the listener to prioritize their mental health and lead by example for their children.

    • Navigating Relationships and PrioritiesStay true to yourself and your relationship, recognize that friendships evolve, and be open to new experiences.

      No matter what age or stage of life you're at, it's important to prioritize your relationships and make decisions based on what feels right for you. A young couple, who've been together for six months, is experiencing this as they navigate their relationship while dealing with the opinions of some of their closest friends. It's natural for friendships to evolve and change, and sometimes, these shifts can be difficult. However, it's essential to remember that everyone gets to decide what their relational priorities are, especially when they believe they've found the one. It's also important to recognize that some friends may have a hard time adjusting to the fact that their friend has found love and happiness, leading them to throw "grenades" instead of dealing with their own feelings. Ultimately, it's crucial to stay true to yourself and your relationship while being open to the possibility of new friendships and experiences.

    • Choose guilt over resentment in relationshipsIt's natural to feel guilty when making choices in relationships, but it's important to choose guilt over resentment to maintain healthy relationships. Communicate boundaries and needs, but acknowledge sadness and heartbreak if friends disregard them.

      It's natural to feel guilty when making choices in relationships, but it's important to choose guilt over resentment. Being with someone who brings you joy and peace is not a reason to feel guilty, even if it means spending less time with certain friends. However, it's crucial to communicate your boundaries and needs to maintain healthy relationships with friends. If friends continue to disregard your boundaries, it may be a sign that they are not prioritizing your happiness and well-being. In such cases, it's essential to acknowledge the sadness and heartbreak of their choice, rather than feeling guilty for your own happiness. Remember, being whole and happy allows you to show up for your friends effectively.

    • Love's impact on priorities and relationshipsLove can shift our focus, making some relationships less important and highlighting the value of positive ones. Self-care and supportive friendships are crucial during heartbreak, and daily choices can help reduce anxiety and stress.

      Love can change our perspectives and priorities in life. The speaker shares her experience of falling in love and how it made her realize that some relationships that seemed important before no longer matter. She also mentions how friends can provide support during heartbreak, and how it's important to surround oneself with positive and loving relationships. The speaker also acknowledges that feeling anxious, burned out, or chronically stressed is a common experience, and offers a solution through the daily choices outlined in her book, "Building a Nonanxious Life." Additionally, she shares a story about a song, "Welcome to the Black Parade," that has been reimagined to promote healing and reconciliation in relationships. Overall, the conversation emphasizes the importance of love, self-care, and positive relationships in navigating life's challenges.

    • The power of music to inspire changeMusic can bring people together, resonate deeply, and inspire individuals to overcome adversity and continue living despite struggles.

      Music, even when covered, has the power to bring people together and inspire change. The lyrics of a song, no matter how many times they've been sung before, can carry deep meaning and resonate with listeners in unique ways. The Black Parade song, with its themes of overcoming demons and carrying on in the face of loss, can be a call to action for individuals to embrace their struggles and continue living despite adversity. Whether it's through music or other means, finding ways to connect with others and express ourselves can lead to profound impact. So, let's keep creating, keep singing, and keep striving for a better world.

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