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    UFYB 308: When to Listen to Your Financial Fears: An Interview with Farnoosh Torabi

    enSeptember 21, 2023

    Podcast Summary

    • Understanding a Feminist Lens in CoachingAdopting a feminist perspective is crucial for coaches to effectively understand societal impacts on clients' brains and their own. Sign up for 'How to Coach Like a Feminist' podcast at unfuckerbrain.com/coach for insights. Embrace fear to succeed with Farnoosh Tarabi's book, 'A Healthy State of Panic'.

      As coaches or mental health professionals working with women, it's essential to adopt a feminist lens in our approach. This perspective is crucial in understanding the societal impact on our clients' brains and our own. The new private podcast, "How to Coach Like a Feminist," will provide valuable insights on marketing, creating relationships, coaching tools, and goal setting from a feminist perspective. Don't miss out; sign up now at unfuckerbrain.com/coach to access these episodes. Additionally, fear and anxiety are common reasons people seek help, and Farnoosh Tarabi's new book, "A Healthy State of Panic: Follow Your Fears to Build Wealth, Crush Your Career, and Win at Life," offers insights on embracing fear to succeed in personal and professional growth.

    • Embracing Fear for Growth and ResilienceFear is a natural response to high-stakes situations and can serve as an opportunity for growth and resilience, especially for those from marginalized backgrounds. Instead of striving for fearlessness, embrace fear and use it as a tool for personal growth.

      Fear is a valuable and necessary emotion, especially for individuals who have faced adversity or come from marginalized backgrounds. Farnoosh Torabi, a veteran financial writer, shares her personal experiences of growing up terrified as a child of immigrants in America and how she's carried that fear into her professional life. She believes that fear can serve as an opportunity to reevaluate values, comfort levels, and priorities. Torabi argues against the American ideal of fearlessness, which she believes is a privilege only afforded to certain groups. Instead, she encourages embracing fear as a natural response to high-stakes situations and using it as a tool for growth and resilience. Torabi's latest book, "Fearless: The New Mindset and Strategies for Thriving in an Uncertain World," offers personal stories and practical advice for readers looking to navigate their own fears and build a more fulfilling life.

    • Understanding and Using Fear as a ToolFear is a natural emotion that can be used as a tool for growth and decision making, but it's important to recognize and distinguish between different types of fear.

      Fear is a natural instinct and an abundant resource that we all have access to. It's important to acknowledge and understand our fears, rather than trying to suppress them or labeling them as bad. Fear can be used as a tool to help us navigate our lives and make decisions. However, it's not always necessary to let fear guide us or be the definitive source of information. Instead, we should take a moment to recognize our emotions and use them as a starting point for further exploration and growth. The cultural narrative around fear, particularly the idea that we should be fearless, can be harmful. Historically, figures like FDR have encouraged us to overcome fear, but this doesn't mean that fear is something to be completely eliminated. Instead, we should learn to listen to our fears and use them as a source of information and motivation. Fear can take many forms, and some may be more useful or justified than others. For example, fear that arises from our thoughts and beliefs may not be based on reality, while fear that arises from real danger is a natural response. It's important to distinguish between these different types of fear and approach them in different ways. Ultimately, fear is a complex emotion that can be both helpful and harmful. By acknowledging and understanding our fears, we can learn to use them as a tool for growth and personal development.

    • Accepting all emotions leads to greater happinessAccepting all emotions, including negative ones, leads to greater happiness and self-alignment. Distinguish between fear that offers value and fear that isn't helpful, and use fear as a signal to reassess and make informed decisions.

      Acknowledging and accepting all emotions, including negative ones like fear, anger, sadness, and grief, leads to greater happiness and self-alignment. A study conducted across various universities confirmed this, finding that those who suppressed negative emotions were unhappier. It's essential to distinguish between fear that offers value and fear that isn't helpful. Fear that is deeply ingrained can be challenging to change, but recognizing the difference can lead to making more authentic decisions. In high-stakes situations, fear can serve as a signal to reassess and take a moment to reflect. By understanding the source of fear and what it's trying to protect, we can make informed decisions and move forward with integrity.

    • Understanding the Roots of Our Financial AnxietiesRecognize that our financial anxieties often stem from past experiences and lack of knowledge. Seek education to improve our relationship with money and overcome our fears.

      Our financial anxieties are often rooted in our past experiences and upbringing. These anxieties can manifest in various forms, such as fear of not having enough, fear of investing, or fear of talking about money with a partner. The fear of money is closely linked to other fears like uncertainty and failure. When we encounter these fears as adults, it's essential to recognize that they may stem from a lack of knowledge or understanding. By humbly acknowledging this gap and seeking education, we can overcome our fears and improve our relationship with money. In essence, our fear of money is usually a fear of our relationship with money, and exploring the origins and evolution of this relationship is a crucial step towards overcoming our anxieties.

    • Fear of Financial Success for Women and Marginalized IdentitiesDeep-rooted societal beliefs and socialization can create fear around money for women and marginalized identities, leading to self-limiting narratives and preventing financial potential. To overcome these fears, acknowledge and challenge societal beliefs, educate oneself, and seek support.

      Fear around money, particularly for women and other marginalized identities, can stem from deep-rooted societal beliefs and socialization. These beliefs can lead to self-limiting narratives and prevent individuals from reaching their financial potential. For instance, the fear of becoming too financially successful may arise from cultural norms that demonize women for prioritizing their careers and wealth over relationships or personal values. This fear can manifest in deferring financial decision-making to men or avoiding pursuing financial opportunities due to perceived negative consequences. To overcome these fears and rewrite the narrative around money, it's essential to acknowledge and challenge these societal beliefs, educate oneself about personal finance, and seek support from trusted resources and communities. By doing so, individuals can gain the confidence and wisdom to make informed financial decisions and pursue financial success on their own terms.

    • Fear and Dependence: Women's Relationship with MoneySocialization and fear prevent women from making financial decisions and taking risks, but reframing power and money positively and creatively planning can lead to financial growth and independence.

      Women's lack of understanding and fear of money can create a cycle of dependence and fear, leading to a lack of financial independence and power. Socialization plays a role in this, as women are often taught that money is something to be feared or that they shouldn't have too much of it. This fear can prevent women from making financial decisions and taking risks, even if they have the means and intelligence to do so. It's important to reframe the concept of power and money, recognizing that it can be used in positive ways, such as upholding, healing, and connecting. Fear of sacrifice and trade-offs can also be barriers to financial growth, but with creativity and planning, it's possible to find a way to make more money while maintaining a healthy work-life balance.

    • Understanding and Confronting Our FearsRecognize fears that align with values and confront them to make progress towards goals, while distinguishing between societal pressures and misconceptions.

      Fear, particularly fear of money, can hold us back from reaching our full potential and pursuing our goals. However, not all fears should be ignored. It's essential to distinguish between fears that align with our values and those that are rooted in societal pressures or misconceptions. By acknowledging and understanding our fears, we can create a roadmap to honor them while still making progress towards our aspirations. The speaker's personal experience of raising prices, hiring an assistant, and planning big ideas demonstrates the potential for growth when we confront our fears rather than letting them control us. Ultimately, it's about finding a balance between financial security and personal growth, and not neglecting our fears altogether.

    • Fears and social conditioning can hinder financial independence for marginalized communitiesRecognize and address deep-rooted fears, but stay grounded in reality to achieve financial independence

      Everyone is worthy of financial independence and success, but for some individuals, achieving it can be complicated by deep-rooted fears and social conditioning. These fears can be particularly acute for marginalized communities, who have historical reasons to be wary of wealth and power. For instance, the speaker shares her experience as a Jewish woman, who was told stories of persecution and discrimination against her community due to their financial success. This fear can lead to self-sabotage or denial of opportunities, but it's essential to recognize these fears and use discernment when addressing them. Financial pain, such as bankruptcy or an empty bank account, can be just as real and painful as physical pain, and it's crucial to acknowledge and address these fears while also staying grounded in reality.

    • Confronting and Preparing for Worst-Case Financial FearsVisualize worst-case scenarios, create a recovery plan, and address specific fears to protect your financial livelihood.

      It's essential to confront and prepare for our worst-case financial fears instead of just letting them consume us with anxiety. By visualizing the worst-case scenarios and creating a recovery plan, we can move on quickly and be better equipped to handle unexpected challenges. It's also crucial to get specific about our fears and consider how they might impact our personal lives. For example, a fear of losing a job could lead to overspending or falling into debt, making the situation even worse. Therefore, it's essential to listen to our fears and create a plan to protect our financial livelihood, whether that means saving, renegotiating expectations, or finding creative solutions. By taking action, we can alleviate our fears and build a stronger financial foundation.

    • Overcoming Financial Fear for WomenWomen can overcome financial fear by acknowledging it, making a plan, taking small steps, and utilizing resources like coaching, planning, and personal development materials.

      Fear, especially financial fear, can be debilitating for many women, leading them to catastrophize and avoid taking risks. However, by acknowledging and addressing these fears, making a plan, and taking small steps, individuals can overcome their anxiety and achieve financial stability and growth. It's important to remember that uncertainty is a natural part of life and that failure is a possibility, but it's also a learning opportunity. Women, in particular, may face societal pressures and self-doubt when it comes to financial risk, but with determination and the right mindset, they can overcome these obstacles and create a more secure future. To help navigate these fears, resources such as coaching, planning, and personal development materials can be invaluable tools. Embrace uncertainty, face your fears, and take the first step towards a more financially stable future.

    • Assumptions can lead to misunderstandingsDouble-check information and question assumptions, especially in matters of safety and well-being. Connect with communities to learn and grow together.

      Assumptions can lead to misunderstandings and mistakes, even in seemingly familiar situations. The speaker shared a personal story about accidentally leaving her children at the wrong birthday party for hours, despite being present the entire time. She assumed everything was fine because her children seemed happy, but in reality, they were at the wrong party. This experience made her question the safety and reliability of dropping her kids off at unfamiliar places, leading her to consider more careful planning and communication. This anecdote highlights the importance of double-checking information and questioning assumptions, especially when it comes to matters of safety and well-being. It's a reminder that appearances can be deceiving, and that taking the time to verify details can prevent potential problems down the line. Additionally, the speaker emphasized the value of joining communities, such as The Clutch, to connect with others and learn new tools for applying the concepts of thought work to one's own life. By coming together and sharing experiences, we can gain valuable insights and support each other on our personal growth journeys.

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