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    Cynthia Erivo ON: How to Take Small Steps to Achieving Your Goals & Why You Should Stop Questioning Your Ability To Achieve Them

    enMay 01, 2023

    Podcast Summary

    • Cynthia Erivo on Her Creative Process and Iconic RolesWith hard work, dedication, and passion, anyone can achieve their dreams and make a lasting impact. Cynthia Erivo's accomplishments are proof of this, as she excels as a talented actress, singer, and producer, inspiring others with her impressive work ethic and creative process.

      In this episode of On Purpose, Jay Shetty interviews Cynthia Erivo, the Grammy, Emmy and Academy Award-winning actress, singer, and producer. Cynthia talks about her creative process and how she gets into character. She has played many iconic roles in her lifetime, including Harriet Tubman in the movie 'Harriet' and Aretha Franklin in National Geographic's Emmy-winning anthology series 'Genius Aretha.' Cynthia lent her voice to the movie's title song Standup, which won several awards, including Best Original Song at the Hollywood Music in Media Awards. Cynthia will also play the Blue Fairy in Disney's live-action retelling of Pinocchio. Cynthia's accomplishments show that with hard work, dedication, and passion, anyone can achieve their dreams and make a lasting impact.

    • Speaking with UnderstandingAdjusting language and accents can bridge cultural differences. Embrace new experiences while cherishing the familiar in order to gain insight into different cultures and connect with others.

      When people are comfortable with each other, their true accents and colloquial language come out. However, when speaking to people from different backgrounds, it is important to adjust language and accents to ensure mutual understanding. Moving to a different country can involve missing certain aspects of home, such as familiar foods and activities, while also appreciating the new environment's unique benefits. Engaging in meaningful conversations and learning about others' experiences can provide insight into different cultures and create connections.

    • Cynthia Erivo and Jay Shetty on the Influences of their Strict UpbringingStrict upbringings can provide valuable lessons in discipline and creativity. Both Erivo and Shetty credit their teachers for allowing them the space to grow while also instilling important values like kindness, positivity, and hard work.

      Cynthia Erivo's upbringing in a strict Roman Catholic school allowed her to form her own understanding of faith which centers around being loving and kind to people and the world around her. She believes that positivity is cyclical and that giving out something good will ultimately come back to you, just like a boomerang. Small interactions and conversations with strangers that are positive have the power to influence someone's day in a meaningful way. Similarly, Jay Shetty's experience in a strict all-boys school taught him the importance of discipline and artistry working in tandem. Both Erivo and Shetty credit their teachers for helping them navigate the strict rules while still allowing them enough space to grow and express themselves creatively.

    • Applying Step-by-Step Approach to Life ChallengesBy breaking down overwhelming tasks into smaller goals and focusing on one thing at a time, we can overcome even the most daunting challenges. Pursuing physical activities can also provide valuable life lessons and mental fortitude.

      Cynthia Erivo's passion for running has taught her discipline, mental stamina, and how to overcome moments of self-doubt. She applies the step-by-step approach she uses in running to other areas of her life, such as tackling overwhelming tasks like organizing her closet. By taking that first step and focusing on one task at a time, she has learned to conquer even the most daunting challenges. Running has provided her with mental clarity and a space to think, while also allowing her to make new friends and explore the world around her. Overall, Cynthia demonstrates how a passion for a physical activity can translate into valuable life lessons and mental fortitude.

    • The Importance of Taking Things One Step at a TimeBreak down tasks into smaller parts to manage overwhelm, celebrate small progress, and build momentum towards a desired outcome. Every step, no matter how small, is a step forward.

      Cynthia Erivo emphasizes the importance of taking things one step at a time and breaking down tasks into manageable parts. Whether it's learning a character or running, focusing on each individual component can make it seem less overwhelming. Looking straight ahead at the end goal can create discouragement and self-doubt, whereas small progress should be celebrated as an achievement in itself. Every step towards a goal, no matter how small, is a step forward. By just starting and taking manageable steps, even something as small as putting on your sneakers and taking a step outside, individuals can build momentum towards their desired outcome, and often end up achieving more than they initially thought they could.

    • How Cynthia Erivo's Love for Sports and Adventure Helped Her Achieve SuccessSurround yourself with supportive and challenging people, believe in yourself, and be willing to try new things to achieve your goals.

      Cynthia Erivo reveals how her love for sports and adventure helped her achieve success in her career as an Emmy, Grammy, and Tony-winning actress. Despite facing uncertainty and doubts, she believed in herself and was supported by her mom, sister, and friends who believed in her abilities. She credits her willingness to try new things and not miss out on any opportunities as a key factor in achieving her success. This highlights the importance of surrounding oneself with people who challenge and support us, as well as the value of self-belief and a persevering spirit to achieve our goals.

    • Cynthia Erivo on Immersing Herself into Character and Connecting with AudiencesUnderstanding a character's movement and body language can enhance your portrayal and resonate with audiences, leading to deeper conversations about communication styles. Finding your artistic obsession allows you to create art that connects with others.

      Actress Cynthia Erivo shares her approach to playing different characters and how she immerses herself in their rhythm and body language to find their internal heartbeat. By understanding their movement and urgency, she gains a deeper understanding of their personality and motivations. In her role as Holly Gibney in 'The Outsider', Erivo's portrayal of a woman struggling to connect resonated with audiences and sparked conversations about different communication styles. Erivo believes that creating art that allows people to connect is what it's all about. Jay Shetty admires Erivo's obsession with her craft, and their shared passion for their work creates an exciting conversation about the beauty in finding your artistic obsession.

    • Observing for Authenticity: Cynthia Erivo's Approach to Building Multi-Dimensional CharactersTo create well-rounded characters, pay attention to details of appearance and nonverbal communication, and empathize with their emotions and motivations to make authentic portrayals.

      Actress Cynthia Erivo discusses her approach to developing well-rounded, multi-dimensional characters through observing how they move, speak, and present themselves. She pays attention to details like scent, makeup, and clothing, as well as nonverbal cues like lip movements and eye contact, to create a more authentic portrayal. Erivo credits her ability to empathize and connect with people to her lifelong habit of people-watching and observing their emotional lives. Through her training at drama school, she has learned to identify the motivations behind a character's actions and words. It is not just about what a character is saying, but also how they say it and the emotional context behind their words.

    • The Struggle of Separating an Actor from Their CharacterActors become deeply connected to the characters they portray, making it difficult to separate themselves from the role. It's important for them to train their body and mind to transition quickly, allowing them to embody different characters and create relatable performances.

      Actors become a part of the characters they play and it takes time to shed them. When a character is portrayed accurately, the actor infuses a part of themselves into the role, making it difficult to separate the two. The process takes a toll on the body and mind, making it important to teach the body to transition quickly. The more time an actor spends with a character, the deeper the connection becomes, making it harder to let go. However, successful actors know that it's essential to train their body and mind to move on, especially when they have to embody a different person continually. Hard work in drama school helps actors connect better with themselves and with others, instilling a desire to create meaningful characters that people can relate to.

    • The Psychological Impact of Preparing for a CharacterActors need support and therapy to separate themselves from their characters, and learning to communicate better is a valuable life lesson. Cynthia Erivo found therapy helpful for understanding relationships and showing up as her best self.

      Actors and actresses experience a significant psychological impact while preparing for a character. It takes time to let go of the character persona even after the film is over. Those who understand and support the individual, along with therapy can help in separating the self from the character. Therapy has helped Cynthia Erivo in understanding her relationships better and how to show up as her best self. It is essential to find better ways to communicate with people rather than just running away from discomfort, to prepare, debrief, and understand personal altercations in personal and professional settings. Learning to communicate better is a life lesson, not just an acting lesson.

    • The Importance of Alignment, Self-Love, and Embracing OpportunitiesIt's important to align our thoughts, words, and feelings, love ourselves in all that we do, and embrace opportunities, even when they make us feel scared or doubtful, because they can lead to valuable experiences and help others.

      The misalignment between our thoughts, words, and feelings is a common struggle, but it's important to listen to others to gain perspective. We often question whether we are good enough, but it's crucial to remember that what is meant for us will come to us, as long as we do the work to prepare for it. It's important to ask ourselves if we are loving ourselves in everything we do, and to choose actions that promote self-love. Every 'no' we encounter is just making room for the 'yes' that is meant to be. We should embrace opportunities that come our way, even if they make us feel scared or doubtful, because the experience is valuable and can help others in similar situations.

    • Crafting Beautiful Experiences and CollaborationsCreating a safe and judgment-free space where everyone can share their ideas is essential in work collaborations with other creative people. Focusing on the bigger picture can unite everyone in one mind and make it easier to approach challenges together.

      The experience that's been perfectly crafted just for you can be beautiful. It's important to recognize and appreciate those experiences. In work collaborations with other creative people, creating a safe space where everyone can share their ideas without judgment is essential. Focusing less on what you need and more on what others need can make everyone feel comfortable and confident. There are no bad ideas in brainstorming, as a bad idea could be the seed of a great one. Finding the purpose and direction of the bigger picture can unite everyone in one mind and make it easier to approach challenges together. Making positive changes in life can involve implementing new habits or practices.

    • The Power of Trusting Yourself and Following Your PassionsTrusting your instincts and pursuing what feels right, even if it goes against convention or advice, can lead to success and personal fulfillment. Take small steps and listen to your inner voice to make meaningful changes.

      Cynthia Erivo credits her mindset shifts and success to a slow and steady accumulation of trying new things and listening to her inner voice. From turning down a university course that didn't feel right to following her passion for music, her journey was guided by what felt good to her. Despite being told to stop working out during drama school, she continued because it was good for her mind and found joy in playing music with a classmate. Her success in performing in Wicked and winning awards is a testament to the power of trusting oneself and following what feels right, even if it goes against conventional wisdom or expectations.

    • Trusting Your Inner Voice for Fulfillment and SuccessFollowing your instincts can lead to better decisions and quicker adjustments. Don't worry about connections in the moment, they will come later. Keep moving forward and take responsibility for your choices.

      Listening to your inner voice can lead to more fulfilling and successful decisions. Cynthia Erivo's gut instinct led her to the role of Sealy in 'The Color Purple' on Broadway. Trusting yourself allows for quicker pivoting and taking responsibility when things don't work out. Looking back on decisions, you can connect the dots and see the beauty in the journey. Don't look for connections moving forward, they will come later. One step in front of the other, keep moving forward. Cynthia Erivo is described as warm when meeting her for the first time and stubborn when known well, due to her desire for independence and getting things done on her own.

    • The Power of Speaking from Love, Not FearWhen communicating with others, approach from a place of love to find common ground and understanding. Find joy in everyday moments to build a foundation of goodness and make big moments even sweeter.

      Cynthia Erivo and Jay Shetty discuss the importance of speaking from a place of love, rather than fear. Speaking from a place of love means communicating with another person about what can help both of you meet somewhere in the middle and understand one another. It's not about protecting someone's feelings, but rather about finding common ground. Cynthia also emphasizes the importance of finding joy in the little moments of everyday life and not just waiting for big things to happen. By doing so, we build a foundation of goodness that makes the big moments even sweeter.

    • Speaking from a Place of Love and UnderstandingSpeaking from a place of love and understanding creates an opportunity to be understood and learn from one another. Starting conversations with a solution-oriented mindset leads to a feeling of understanding and joy.

      When we speak from a place of love, we give the other person an opportunity to be understood, and therefore we get the chance to be understood as well. Speaking from a place of fear does not work, as we're essentially walking around like broken shelves. We want to allow people to make themselves whole by having conversations that leave us feeling like we've learned something and understand each other better. Arguments often leave us feeling like we still miss certain things because it's more about wanting to be heard than wanting to understand each other. When we start from a place of how do we solve this and make things better, we tend to end conversations with a feeling of understanding and joy.

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    What We Discuss:

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    • 58:07 Releasing Kept Emotions
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    • 01:10:33 Forgiveness
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    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    How to Know When it is Time to Change Careers & Turn Your Passion into Purpose with Baby2Baby Founders

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    • 01:23:07 Norah and Kelly on Final Five 

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    What We Discuss:

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    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    What We Discuss:

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    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Melinda Gates: Why Your Perfectionism Has Been Draining You & 7 Reasons You Should Spend Time Alone in Silence Today

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    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

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    • 01:12:45 Melinda on Final Five  

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Why You are Wasting Your Time with Cardio & 6 Small Changes to Make For Weight Loss (The Secret Behind Kim Kardashian’s Workout) with Senada Greca

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    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

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    • 34:05 Practicing for a Marathon
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    • 41:28 Anxiety and Depression
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    • 45:21 Working with Kim
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    • 49:43 Managing Nutrition vs. Workout
    • 50:51 Workout without a Trainer
    • 52:26 The Power of the Mind
    • 55:45 Senada on Final Five

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Rob Dial: How to Break the Cycle of Procrastination & 3 Ways to Change Your Repeated Thoughts

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    In this interview, you'll learn:

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    How to overcome procrastination

    How to change negative thought patterns

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    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    • 00:00 Intro
    • 01:53 Starting a Podcast
    • 04:04 Why Do We Struggle to Focus?
    • 09:17 Dealing with Intellectual Fear
    • 14:44 What’s Your Most Repeated Thought?
    • 18:20 What is Your WHY?
    • 24:49 Overcoming the Fear of the Unknown
    • 30:32 Going for the Things You Aspire
    • 35:39 There Are Different Forms of Addiction
    • 41:53 Our Truth is Always within Us
    • 46:50 Take a Pause to Reconnect with Yourself
    • 50:22 The Duality of What We Value
    • 55:44 How Do You Pick Yourself Up?
    • 59:40 What Life Lesson That Changed You?
    • 01:04:41 Lesson Learned the Hard Way
    • 01:07:48 Rob on Final Five

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Why Love Is Not Enough & 5 Things to Focus On More in Dating & Relationships

    Why Love Is Not Enough & 5 Things to Focus On More in Dating & Relationships

    Do you and your partner share values?

    How do you support each other emotionally?

    Today, Jay taps into the  idea that love alone is not sufficient to sustain a healthy relationship. While love is important, other elements such as shared values, emotional maturity, consistent patterns of behavior, and trust are crucial for long-lasting partnerships. Societal norms often romanticize love, leading people to overlook these essential factors.

    Jay discusses the significance of understanding and respecting each other's values, as well as recognizing and addressing patterns of behavior. Emotional maturity, which involves managing and expressing emotions healthily, is highlighted as a key component of a stable relationship. Support and partnership are deemed more critical than love alone.

    In this episode, you'll learn:

    How to communicate your value to your partner

    How to develop emotional maturity

    How to support your partner's emotional growth

    How to build trust in your relationship

    Remember, love is important, but building a relationship on trust, values, and emotional maturity is key.

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    00:00 Intro

    01:07 Do They Love Me?

    04:42 #1: Love Makes Us Forget the Importance of Values

    08:56 #2: Love Makes You Forget Patterns of Behaviour

    16:09 #3: Love Makes You Forget How They Treat You

    19:29 #4: Love Versus Support

    21:46 #5: You Forget the Importance of Trust

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Jonathan Haidt: Why Social Media Has Caused a Collapse in Mental Health & #1 Way to Solve Your Anxiety

    Jonathan Haidt: Why Social Media Has Caused a Collapse in Mental Health & #1 Way to Solve Your Anxiety

    How are smartphones linked to anxiety?

    What mental health issues are linked to excessive social media use?

    Today, let's welcome Jonathan Haidt is a renowned social psychologist, professor at New York University’s Stern School of Business, and a widely published author. He is known for his research on morality, culture, and the psychology of happiness. Jonathan's influential books include "The Righteous Mind: Why Good People Are Divided by Politics and Religion" and "The Coddling of the American Mind." His latest work, "The Anxious Generation," examines the profound impact of social media on young people's mental health.

    Jonathan highlights the unprecedented global collapse of mental health among youth, describing it as more significant than the COVID-19 pandemic, with girls being particularly affected by anxiety and depression, and boys showing significant social development issues.

    The conversation also addresses the academic debate regarding the root causes of this mental health crisis, with Jonathan presenting compelling data and experimental evidence to support his view that social media is a primary driver. He offers actionable solutions, including delaying smartphone and social media use until later ages, implementing phone-free school policies, increasing outdoor play, and advocating for collective action by parents and communities. 

    In this interview, you'll learn:

    How to create a healthier digital environment for kids

    How to implement age-appropriate tech usage

    How to encourage outdoor play and physical activities

    How to talk to children about the risks of social media

    How to foster resilience and emotional strength in kids

    How to create a supportive community for parents

    Together, let's take a comprehensive look into the mental health crisis the youth is facing today and take note of the practical strategies for creating a healthier environment that supports their well-being.

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    • 00:00 Intro
    • 01:55 Global Synchronized Collapse of Mental Health
    • 08:12 Social Media is for Adults to Network
    • 10:20 The Science Behind Anxiety
    • 14:51 Variation of Emotions is Necessary for Kids
    • 17:45 Play Helps Kids Learn
    • 19:12 How to Make Playtime More Effective?
    • 22:59 The Effects of Technology on Different Genders
    • 29:24 Going Through Puberty on Social Media
    • 32:08 How Parenting Has Changed with Technology
    • 34:27 Efforts to Regulate Smartphones Use for Children
    • 44:21 Women Are Always Judged for Their Looks
    • 49:26 Verified Social Media Account
    • 56:58 Why Tap Into Our Spirituality
    • 01:03:56 What is Happening to Us?
    • 01:11:31 The Greatest Distraction of Human Value
    • 01:16:23 Jonathan on Final Five

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    If You've Been Feeling Drained... Listen To This (9 Steps To Recover And Avoid Burnout)

    If You've Been Feeling Drained... Listen To This (9 Steps To Recover And Avoid Burnout)

    Do you often feel exhausted or burnt out?

    Are you struggling to manage your stress levels?

    Today, Jay talks about exhaustion, burnout, and stress, highlighting their prevalence with statistics showing that a significant portion of young adults and women report feeling drained. He introduces a practical approach to tackle these challenges, encapsulated in the "triple A" formula—Accept, Action, Attention—which encourages acknowledging negative feelings, taking actionable steps to address them, and paying mindful attention to one's mental state

    Jay also introduces the concept of "reset periods," whether it's an hour, half-day, or full day, to allow for complete mental and physical rejuvenation. The importance of self-compassion is also emphasized, encouraging individuals to replace inner criticism with supportive self-talk, which can significantly improve overall well-being.

    In this episode, you'll learn:

    How to break negative thought cycle

    How to manage your energy levels

    How to use stress strategically

    How to practice self-compassion

    How to get out of stressful situation

    Don’t let exhaustion control your life—take action today and start feeling refreshed and empowered. Listen now and share with someone who needs a boost!

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    00:00 Intro

    01:06 Do You Feel Drained?

    03:10 #1: Learn to Break Repetitive Thoughts

    06:27 #2: You Don’t Need to Be on Full Energy All the Time

    10:20 #3: Learn to Say NO

    14:05 #4: Be Strategic with Your Time

    17:02 #5: Have a Reset Day

    18:35 #6: Be Kind to Yourself

    19:59 #7: Allow Yourself to Vent and Let It Out

    21:24 #8: Get a Restful Sleep 

    23:00 #9: Wash Your Mind the Night Before

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    [This episode was sponsored by Bsolo]

    -------

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