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    478. How Can We Break Our Addiction to Contempt?

    en-usOctober 14, 2021

    Podcast Summary

    • Injecting Morality and Decency into Politics Through Kindness and RespectDavid Brooks believes in promoting principles of kindness and respect in politics but acknowledges that failure is a part of the process. He encourages others to keep trying, even if their ideas don't fit the current moment.

      David Brooks, a well-known conservative journalist, believes in injecting morality and decency into politics by promoting principles of kindness and respect. However, his latent-demand strategy, which has been implemented through books like Love Your Enemies, has not always succeeded. Brooks acknowledges that entrepreneurship means rolling out something new and that failure is a part of the process. Despite criticism that his message is quixotic or unrealistic, Brooks believes that injecting his ideology into politics is morally right and has the potential to be popular. He encourages others to keep trying, even if their ideas don't fit the current moment.

    • Love as a Solution for Political DetoxificationTo combat hate, contempt, and polarization, we must tap into our latent demand for unity and respect through visionary entrepreneurship, good leadership, and love. This is the only way to heal America.

      Arthur Brooks believes that the best way to detoxify American politics is love, which can conquer hate and disrespect, and unite the country, inspiring individuals to become the best version of themselves. The latent-demand strategy that Brooks mentions is used by successful entrepreneurs, and he believes it can be employed to make America an aspirational country. Brooks argues that our addiction to hate, contempt, and polarization is fueling our dopamine and leading our society towards destruction. The country has an untapped latent demand for unity and respect, and it requires visionary entrepreneurship, good leadership, and love to fulfill that demand. Brooks' message of love may seem foolish, but in reality, it is the only way to heal America and address the hatred and division within the country

    • The Growing Problem of Political Polarization and Media DivisionInsults do not create lasting agreement. To combat political polarization, build stronger communities and work towards bipartisanship, as suggested by More in Common.

      Political polarization has been increasing in recent years with rising party-unity votes and a decrease in bipartisanship in major legislation. The media's role in politics has also become highly divisive, with a significant drop in Republican trust in national news organizations. This trend has been building for a while and surveys show that a vast majority of Americans are unhappy with the divisive nature of politics. However, trying to insult someone into agreement is ineffective and only creates a short-term satisfaction. To combat this trend, more effort should be put into building stronger communities and fighting polarization, as advocated by organizations such as More in Common.

    • The Impact of Financial Crisis on Political PolarizationFinancial crises often lead to a surge in support for populist parties due to frustration over unequal distribution of recovery gains. However, this leads to a self-perpetuating cycle of resentment and divisive politics. It is important to address this issue to prevent exacerbation of the problem.

      A financial crisis has a significant impact on political polarization, with populist parties and candidates experiencing a 30% increase in voter share on average, according to a study of 800 elections over 120 years. This sentiment arises from frustration over how the recovery gains are distributed, with the top 20% of income earners receiving 80% of the returns. This frustration fuels contempt, creating a self-perpetuating cycle of resentment and divisive politics. While citizens are victims of this cycle, they are also contributing to it. Like addiction, the desire for relief leads to actions that ultimately exacerbate the problem.

    • Understanding the Destructive Force of Contempt in CommunicationContempt is a damaging emotion that often goes unnoticed. Recognizing its presence and effect can lead to improved communication. The likelihood of exhibiting or being targeted by contempt is linked to social media use.

      Contempt is a destructive emotion that is often mixed with anger and disgust, resulting in a cold and dismissive attitude towards others. It is a habit that is deeply ingrained in our communication, and most people do not even realize when they are exhibiting or experiencing it. The characteristics of people who are most likely to exhibit or be targeted by contempt are not based on gender, race or political affiliation, but rather on the amount of political information consumed on social media. The good news is that recognizing and addressing the destructive forces of contempt can help break this habit and improve our communication with others.

    • The Negative Effects of Political News Consumption on Well-beingConsuming too much political news can lead to feelings of contempt and a decrease in happiness. By decreasing contempt and increasing love, we can improve our overall well-being.

      Consuming too much political news can lead to feelings of contempt, which can have negative effects on our psychological and physiological well-being. Driven by dopamine, media addiction can lead to a decrease in happiness and the neutralization of pleasure. Additionally, contempt can drive love out of our lives, causing us to suffer more than we need to. Love is not a feeling but a verb, requiring us to will the good of others. By decreasing our contempt and increasing our love, we can improve our overall well-being.

    • Fighting Political Polarization with LoveArthur Brooks proposes a proactive approach to fighting contempt and political polarization by increasing the denominator and implementing a denominator-management strategy. He emphasizes the need for politicians who people will vote for and suggests starting with small acts of love to decrease vicious impulses and promote peace.

      Arthur Brooks, a trained economist, is proposing a way to fight political polarization and contempt with love, which he believes is proactive compared to reactive contempt. He suggests increasing the denominator by implementing a denominator-management strategy and pretending to feel love to restore peace. Brooks emphasizes the need for politicians that people will vote for, not just someone they trust to defend them from others. Despite being trained in economics, Brooks started playing the French horn at a young age and pursued excellence outside of the institution. The noise from cable-news networks disrupts any hope for peace and generates contempt. Thus, Brooks suggests starting with small acts of love to decrease vicious impulses and promote peace.

    • Pursuing Academia as an Adult to Discover Intrinsic DesiresInstead of blindly chasing extrinsic goals, treat life as an entrepreneurial endeavor and use discernment to understand one's own desires. Pursuing academia as an adult can provide clarity in identifying intrinsic passions.

      People often struggle with discerning their own desires, leading them to chase extrinsic satisfaction instead of intrinsic satisfaction. Decisions should be made treating life as an entrepreneurial endeavor, figuring out the nature of one's own desires rather than relying on exogenous sources of information. The benefit of pursuing academia as a full-grown adult is the ability to use discernment to understand one's own desires. Brooks realized that he is obsessed with ideas and despite starting a career as a professional French horn player, he gained bachelor's and master's degrees through correspondence school and eventually a Ph.D. He then became a college professor focused on being an "idea guy."

    • Understanding the Giving Trends of Conservatives and LiberalsConservatives tend to give more to charity due to their religious beliefs and skepticism towards government efficacy, but this should not be viewed as a definitive conclusion. Arthur Brooks found success in his leadership of the American Enterprise Institute, promoting conservative policies with an intellectual, ideas-based approach.

      Conservatives tend to give more to charity than liberals due to their strong religious beliefs and skepticism towards government efficacy. This was the key finding in Arthur Brooks' book 'Who Really Cares'. However, Brooks clarified that this was an interpretation and not a conclusion of his research. Despite being happily working as a professor at Syracuse, Brooks was approached by the American Enterprise Institute to become their president. He was initially surprised by the offer, given that he had never raised a dollar or managed any staff. However, he found the experience to be consistent with his vision of an intellectual, ideas-based operation with a focus on promoting conservative policies.

    • The Problem with Communication in the USBiased news networks owned by billionaire plutocrats fuel half-truths and rumors, threatening democracy. Drastic changes or leadership from both parties are needed to combat biased media and ensure democracy thrives.

      The means of communication in the US are a big problem for democracy, with biased cable news networks fueling half-truths and rumors. Billionaire plutocrats seeking to affect US policymaking can get the best ROI by owning TV stations, newspapers, and cable networks, where they can coalesce highly ideological movements and evade criticism. The country needs drastic changes in its news structure or a slow oozing forward where leadership in both parties confronts biased media. American politics can change quickly, so the need for candidates from both parties is vital for democracy to thrive.

    • Practicing Warm-Heartedness to Counter Contemptuous Thoughts and EmotionsRewire your brain by recalling and repeating warm-hearted actions to counter contempt. Start with a smile exercise to promote happiness. Individuals must commit to practicing warm-heartedness to initiate change and shape societal values for a more compassionate society.

      Practicing warm-heartedness is an effective way to counteract contemptuous thoughts and emotions. The Dalai Lama suggests recalling a time when warm-heartedness was applied in response to contempt and repeating this action to rewire brain responses. An exercise involving a smile can also stimulate brain activity to promote happiness. While powerful industries may perpetuate contempt, change must always start with individuals. Institutional change is necessary, but personal commitment to practicing warm-heartedness can initiate change and ultimately shape societal values and actions. Martin Luther King and Gandhi demonstrated this by mobilizing individuals to create meaningful movements. It is up to individuals to take action and lead the way towards a more compassionate society.

    • The Power of Leadership During a CrisisGood leaders unite, but bad leaders divide during crises. To move past contempt, leaders must stand up to their own side and work together despite collective-action problems. Most politicians want to make things better but may feel fear and uncertainty.

      Arthur Brooks points out that good leadership has the power to unite people in times of crisis, but bad leadership can divide them. He cites Covid-19 as an example where the President of the United States used the pandemic to divide rather than unite. To move past contempt, Brooks suggests that leaders should stand up to their own side, and politicians should work together despite the massive collective-action problem. Brooks also asserts that most politicians he has met are hard-working and patriotic individuals who want to make things better, but they too feel fear and don't always know how to act optimally.

    • David Brooks on the Importance of Republicans Deciding What They Are Willing to Fail ForIn order to overcome the current crisis, politicians should have the courage to speak their minds and decide what they are willing to lose an election for. Listening to and respecting those with different opinions can help find common ground and fight contempt.

      David Brooks advocates for a competition of opportunity to overcome the current crisis and emphasizes the importance of Republicans deciding what they are willing to fail for. For the 2022 midterms, the strategy will likely be 'not Biden' and 'not the Democrats'. However, for 2024, the character and platform of the Republican candidate will be crucial. Brooks encourages politicians to have the courage to speak their minds and decide what they are willing to lose an election for, which can be liberating. To fight contempt, Brooks suggests listening to and respecting those with different opinions and finding common ground in shared values.

    • Confronting Contempt with Love and GratitudeTo combat manipulative media and hatred, practice gratitude and use John Gottman's five-to-one list, saying five positive things before one negative. Respond to sources of contempt with love and happiness.

      Arthur Brooks suggests that we should stand up to the manipulative media that creates hate and instead start running toward contempt to demonstrate love. He provides a practical solution from John Gottman, which encourages people who argue with their partners to carry around a five-to-one list. When you want to say one critical thing, first say five positive things. If you apply this principle to social media as well, you will be a different person. In addition, Brooks suggests being more grateful for living in a country where you can express your opinions. The overall message is to confront sources of contempt with love, happiness, and light.

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