Logo

    4 Simple Ways to Stop Giving a Sh*t About What Other People Think of You

    enMay 22, 2023

    Podcast Summary

    • Four Key Realizations to Overcoming Insecurities from Other People's OpinionsRecognize that other people's opinions do not define you. Set boundaries to protect your values and beliefs. Be aware of your own motivations. Learn to let go of negative self-talk. Focus on what truly matters in your life.

      Learning to not care about other people's opinions is a difficult but achievable task. Mel Robbins shares four key realizations that helped her overcome this obstacle and be more true to herself. These realizations include recognizing that others' opinions don't define you, setting boundaries to protect your own values and beliefs, being aware of your own motivations, and learning to let go of negative self-talk. By following these steps, you can learn to stop being held back by other people's opinions and focus on what truly matters in your life, just like Mel does with her own team members.

    • Embracing Your Natural Self: Overcoming Fear of JudgementDon't let fear of judgement stop you from enjoying life to the fullest. Embrace your natural self and don't worry about what others think of you. Live life on your own terms.

      Mel Robbins shares her experience of how she overcame her fear of being judged by others for her body and embraced her natural self. She confidently took her t-shirt off to soak up the sun without worrying about her pale skin, flabby triceps, or sweaty pits. This experience taught her the importance of valuing fun over fear and not giving a shit about what others think of her body. She encourages others to break free from their self-imposed limitations and live life on their own terms.

    • The Importance of Dressing Appropriately in a Professional EnvironmentConsider cultural norms, dress appropriately, and be mindful of the setting. Pay attention to the details of appearance. Remember that clothing choices do not define us or impact our professionalism.

      In a professional environment, it is important to consider the cultural norms and dress appropriately to make a good first impression. While open-toed shoes may be acceptable in some situations, it is important to be mindful of the setting and culture of the workplace or meeting. However, ultimately, it is up to the individual to decide what they wear, as long as it doesn't violate any dress codes. It is always worth paying attention to the details of our appearance to ensure that we present ourselves in the best possible way. Finally, it is essential to remember that our clothing choices do not define us or impact our ability to do business professionally.

    • Don't Let Others Determine Your IdentityStop caring about others' opinions, focus on your own values, and be confident in your unique qualities. Self-doubt only limits your potential, so embrace who you are and success will follow.

      Stop worrying about what others think of you. It's a waste of mental energy and can limit your potential. Focus on being yourself and what you value instead. Changing yourself to please others only leads to self-doubt and takes you away from what empowers you. Don't let anyone else dictate who you are at your core. Embrace your unique style and don't let anyone else tell you what you should wear or how you should act. Your confidence will shine through when you're comfortable with yourself, and that's what ultimately leads to success.

    • How Focusing on Your Values Can Help You Stop Criticizing Others and YourselfDon't waste time criticizing yourself or others based on appearance. Focus on your values and let go of feeling self-conscious. By doing this, you can make life better for everyone around you.

      Stop criticizing yourself and you'll stop criticizing others. Focus on your values and spend less time and energy on things that don't matter. Mel Robbins exemplifies this by not judging herself or others based on appearance. By sharing her worst moments online, she frees both herself and others from feeling self-conscious. Recognize that everyone looks like crap sometimes and there's no need to feel bad about it. By letting go of these constraints, you can focus on what really matters and make life better for everyone.

    • Learning to Not Care About Others' OpinionsIt's natural to worry about our appearance on social media, but negative comments often come from others' insecurities. Instead, focus on being your authentic self and ignore the haters.

      Mel Robbins shares her personal experience of learning to not care about what others think of her appearance, and encourages others to do the same. She notes that worrying about our appearance on social media is a subconscious way of caring about what others think. Robbins also shares how she learned to tune out negative comments on social media, even when they were aimed at her appearance instead of her opinions. She suggests that empathy can help shift our perspective on negative comments, and reminds us that mean comments often come from people with their own insecurities and struggles. Ultimately, Robbins encourages us to embrace our authentic selves, even if it means looking less than perfect on social media.

    • The Dangers of Gossiping: Detachment and Goal-Setting for SuccessGossiping harms mental health and success. Focus on ideas, detach from negativity, seek advice, prioritize big goals, and surround yourself with positive influences to rise above small-mindedness.

      Gossiping trains your mind to cut people down and ultimately leads to self-sabotage. Engaging in negativity is a waste of time and energy, and successful people focus on ideas and the future. Detaching from things out of our control is mentally healthy and helps rise above negativity. It is important to assess who we surround ourselves with and to seek advice instead of engaging in gossip. Let go of the need for others' approval and focus on bigger goals. Small minds talk about people, big creative minds talk about ideas.

    • The Four Steps to the Art of Not Giving a ShitOne key step in not giving a shit is learning to care less about what others think. Taking action despite their opinions can help overcome fear of judgment and allow you to express yourself boldly.

      The art of not giving a shit can be boiled down to four simple steps. One of these steps is learning how to care less about what other people think. This can be achieved by taking action despite the opinions of others. Mel Robbins shared a story where she demonstrated this by wearing a child-sized space suit and helmet during an important lecture. The props were meant to be decorative, but Mel decided to put them on to get energized for the event. She had to suck in her stomach and remove her glasses and ponytail to squeeze into the tight space suit and helmet. This humorous and bold action shows the power of not letting fear of judgment hold you back from expressing yourself.

    • Train Your Mind to Focus on Being YourselfStop wasting time trying to please others and focus on being yourself. Do something ridiculous once in a while to remind yourself that life isn't that serious. Spend your energy on positivity and doing what makes you happy.

      Stop wasting time on unimportant things like obsessing over pleasing others and rewriting emails. Train your mind to focus on being yourself and having fun. Don't be afraid to do something ridiculous once in a while to surprise and delight those around you. It's a good reminder that things aren't that serious. Instead of gossiping and being petty, focus on something more productive and positive. Imagine how everything could change if you spent the same energy focusing on being yourself and doing what makes you happy. Life is too short to take everything so seriously.

    • The Value of Authentic Feedback with Mel RobbinsBeing authentic and kind in feedback can create better communication and relationships. It's possible to be honest without being hurtful and it's important to empower others to own their power.

      In this podcast episode, Mel Robbins talks about memorable moments with her colleagues and guests, including a boss who farted twice in front of her, and giving valuable feedback to a guest to own their power. She emphasizes the importance of being authentic and caring, even when giving challenging feedback, and not walking on eggshells. Her approach to giving feedback shows that it is possible to give a shit without being a dick, and that kindness and authenticity shine through in all interactions.

    • Four Realizations to Care Less and Focus on What Truly MattersBy turning up the dial and worrying more, individuals can realize that worrying doesn't work. Instead, they should fixate on what truly matters and have empathy towards critics while taking action towards a purposeful and meaningful life.

      Mel Robbins provides four realizations to help individuals care less and focus on things that truly matter. The first realization is counterintuitive, wherein if you want to care less, try actually caring more. Turn up the dial and worry more about everything and see how it feels. If worrying worked, you'd be happier, more secure and have more time. But it doesn't. Therefore, stop worrying and fixate on what truly matters. The second realization is to have empathy towards people who criticize you. The remaining two realizations revolve around taking action and finding a purpose. These realizations help in embracing a meaningful life.

    • Using Empathy and Prioritization to Navigate Difficult Situations in the WorkplaceConsider others as emotional beings and evaluate workplace standards to promote inclusivity and authenticity.

      Most people have the emotional maturity level of 8 to 12 years old, and using empathy to visualize everyone as such can help navigate difficult situations. It's also important to differentiate between when to prioritize standards and self-expression, recognizing that workplace standards can often perpetuate discrimination and bias. Being aware of this can promote a more inclusive and authentic environment.

    • The Pressure to Conform in the Workplace: Black Women's Struggle with Natural HairstylesBlack women often face discrimination and bias in the workplace if they don't conform to conservative hairstyle standards. It's important to understand and support the personal decision of self-expression, as being yourself can inspire others and break down societal barriers.

      Black women often feel pressured to change their natural hairstyle in order to fit in with conservative workplace standards, leading to discrimination and bias. It's important to acknowledge this and understand the deeply personal decision and balancing act between self-expression and societal/workplace norms. While it's easy to say that hiding who you are is never okay, it's not always easy to do. However, by finding the courage to be your full self at work, you can free others to do the same and break down societal barriers. It's up to you to decide what you value most and choose being yourself as often as possible.

    • Don't Let Insecurities Hold You Back From Being AuthenticBe yourself, even if it means changing your environment or facing fears of judgement. Happiness comes from living authentically and letting go of insecurities that keep you in a cage.

      Don't wait for permission to be yourself. If you're not comfortable being yourself in your circle of friends or at work, change your circle or your job. If you can't be yourself, you're in a cage. Insecurities can keep you in that cage. Our own behaviors and insecurities are often what keep us in cages. Our fears of what people will think can prevent us from expressing ourselves. Don't let insecurities hold you back from being your authentic self. Embrace who you are and let go of the fear of judgment. The truest form of happiness comes from living an authentic life.

    Recent Episodes from The Mel Robbins Podcast

    The Best Relationship Advice No One Ever Told You

    The Best Relationship Advice No One Ever Told You

    Do you want to know the best relationship advice no one has ever told you before? 

    In today’s episode, Mel is revealing the one rule about relationships you must know.

    There is a game-changing framework that will help any relationship go the distance, and once you hear it, you’ll want to share it with everyone you know. 

    It reveals why some relationships fail, and it also gives you the secret to sustaining a strong and successful relationship.

    Here to explain this “4 Levels” framework is New York Times bestselling author Matthew Hussey.

    Matthew has been helping people for more than 17 years to feel more confident and in control of their relationships. His YouTube channel is number one in the world for love life advice, with over half a billion views.

    By the end of today’s episode, you’ll know when it’s time to let go of a relationship, when it’s worth fighting for, and the 4 habits of all successful relationships.

    For more resources, including links to Matthew Hussey’s new book and his videos, click here for the podcast episode page. 

    If you liked this episode, you’ll want to listen to this one next: 3 Simple Ways to Get the Love You Want.

    Connect with Mel:

     

    #1 Stress Doctor: 5 Tools to Protect Your Brain From Stress & Feel Calmer Now

    #1 Stress Doctor: 5 Tools to Protect Your Brain From Stress & Feel Calmer Now

    After today, you will never think about stress the same way again.

    You’ll learn exactly what to do to take control of your stress, stay calm under pressure, and find instant relief.

    Harvard’s Dr. Aditi Nerurkar is here today to explain stress and how it relates to your body and brain. 

    Dr. Aditi is a medical doctor, researcher, and world-renowned expert in stress and public health. 

    She's a lecturer at Harvard Medical School and was the medical director of Harvard's Beth Israel Deaconess Hospital's integrative medicine program, where she developed an enormous clinical practice in stress management using evidence-based integrative approaches to help her patients feel better.

    Today, she is going to give you a reimagined approach to overcoming your stress and burnout using five small but mighty mindset shifts.

    These mindset shifts are free, backed by science, and can be applied to your life starting today.

    By the time you finish listening, you will feel uplifted, empowered, and inspired to rest your stress, rewire your brain, move out of survival mode, and start thriving again.

    For more resources, including links to Dr. Aditi Nerurkar’s research, website, and social media, click here for the podcast episode page. 

    If you liked this research-packed episode, your next listen should be Mel’s conversation with Dr. Tara Swart, MD, PhD: The #1 Neuroscientist: After Listening to This, Your Brain Will Not Be the Same.

    Connect with Mel:

     

    Live a Healthier, Happier, and Longer Life: The Secrets to Feeling Young Forever

    Live a Healthier, Happier, and Longer Life: The Secrets to Feeling Young Forever

    Today, an absolute powerhouse is here to give you the key to living a longer, happier, healthier, and more meaningful life. 

    “I’m 86, but I look and feel 57,” says Mel’s mother-in-law, Judie Robbins. 

    Judie is the most happy, alive, vibrant, and well-connected person Mel knows. 

    She’s back on the podcast and is sharing her best life advice and all new secrets for longevity, vitality, and how to create a long and happy life that you actually enjoy. 

    You’ll also learn the crucial life lessons that most people learn too late, but you won’t after what you hear today.

    After today’s episode, you’ll know one thing for sure:

    No matter your age, the best years of your life are ahead of you.

    For more resources, click here for the podcast episode page. 

    If you liked this episode, here’s one you should listen to next: 5 Small Habits That Will Change Your Life Forever.

    To hear Judie Robbins’ first appearance on The Mel Robbins Podcast, which focuses on her daily routines, listen here: This 85-Year-Old Badass Does More Than You & Me (Steal Her 7 Amazing Secrets).

    Connect with Mel:

     

    How to Deal With Difficult People: One Trick to Live a More Peaceful & Fulfilled Life

    How to Deal With Difficult People: One Trick to Live a More Peaceful & Fulfilled Life

    Do you want to know how to deal with difficult people? 

    What about if that difficult person in your life is a parent, boss, ex, child, or partner? 

    Today, renowned psychologist and narcissism expert Dr. Ramani Durvasula is here to give you the tricks you need to master to live a more peaceful life.

    This episode is your masterclass on how to identify and heal from toxic people.

    Dr. Ramani will teach you how to not only deal with people who are disrespectful, passive aggressive, and can’t control their emotions, but also how to heal from the damage that they can cause you.

    She will show you how you can stay in your power and purpose no matter who you have to deal with in your life. 

    You’ll learn how you can keep your goals, priorities, and happiness front and center, no matter what is happening around you.

    For more resources, including links to Dr. Ramani’s research, website, and social media click here for the podcast episode page. 

    If you liked this research-packed episode, you’ll love Dr. Ramani’s last appearance on The Mel Robbins Podcast: Signs You’re Dealing With a Narcissist (New Research From World-Leading Expert Dr. Ramani).

    Connect with Mel:

     

    How to Build Real Confidence: 7 Truths to Unlock Your Authentic Self

    How to Build Real Confidence: 7 Truths to Unlock Your Authentic Self

    Today, you’ll learn the skill of self-confidence. 

    This episode is a masterclass in how to believe in yourself, no matter what obstacles you face. 

    Mel will share the 7 truths you need to hear about confidence and the art of being truly yourself.

    After listening, you will know exactly what to do to discover your authentic self (at any age), boost your self-esteem, and achieve really cool things. 

    For more resources, click here for the podcast episode page. 

    If you liked this episode and want to know more hacks to feel more confident, here’s one you should listen to next: How to Build the Life You Want: Timeless Wisdom for More Happiness & Purpose

    Connect with Mel:

     

    6 Simple Science-Backed Hacks That Will Make Your Life Better

    6 Simple Science-Backed Hacks That Will Make Your Life Better

    In today’s episode, you’ll learn 6 simple mind and body hacks that play a huge role in your success, happiness, and health. 

    One of the top psychology experts and professors in the world, Dr. Adam Alter, is here to reveal the simple things in your day to day life that influence how you think, feel, and behave. 

    Dr. Alter is a New York Times bestselling author and a renowned researcher and professor at NYU’s Stern School of Business. 

    He will share his incredible research, including:

    - One tiny change that will give you 20 years of your life back (yes, you read that right).

    - The exact colors you should wear on a first date, during a big meeting, or when you want to be more influential.

    - A simple, free hack that makes you more productive and calmer.

    - One common household object that can dramatically change behavior based on where you put it.

    - How looking at a screen impacts your body and brain

    After listening to today’s episode, you’re going to know how to use these 6 science-backed hacks to make your life better.  

    For more resources, including links to Dr. Adam Alter’s research and bestselling books, click here for the podcast episode page. 

    If you liked this research-packed episode, you’ll love this one next: “How to Read Body Language to Get What You Want: 6 Simple Psychological Tricks to Be More Confident”

    Connect with Mel:

     

    The Menopause Manifesto: #1 Ob/Gyn Shares the Truth About Hormones for Vitality, Energy, & Strength

    The Menopause Manifesto: #1 Ob/Gyn Shares the Truth About Hormones for Vitality, Energy, & Strength

    Today, a top menopause doctor is here to give you the science and facts on menopause and hormone replacement therapy that your doctor isn’t telling you.

    This episode is a must listen because you’ll learn EXACTLY what to do to feel like yourself again.

    Dr. Jen Gunter, MD, is known as the internet’s best Ob/Gyn. She is a double board-certified, fellowship-trained medical doctor and a fierce advocate for women’s health. 

    She says you deserve science-backed solutions, not fairytales, and she is here to bust through all menopause myths and clear through the misinformation.

    You’ll learn:

    - The best intervention for menopause symptoms to help you lose weight, sleep better, and stop suffering now.

    - Should you or a loved one be on hormone replacement therapy (HRT)?

    - Which form of HRT is best?

    - Are “bioidentical hormones” better?

    After today, you will know how to hack your hormones and get your mojo back. 

    Bookmark this episode and share it with every single woman in your life, because it’s time to change the paradigm: you do not have to live with symptoms that can be resolved, and you do not have to suffer.

    For more resources, including links to Dr. Gunter’s research, website, and social media click here for the podcast episode page. 

    If you liked this research-packed episode, you’ll love our first episode about menopause with Dr. Mary Claire Haver, MD: The #1 Menopause Doctor: How to Lose Belly Fat, Sleep Better, & Stop Suffering Now.

    Connect with Mel:

     

    Life Is Short (How to Spend It Wisely)

    Life Is Short (How to Spend It Wisely)

    Today’s episode is a wake-up call. 

    The reality is that time is passing you by.

    If you want to live a more meaningful, successful, and happy life, you need to get serious about the amount of time you have with your loved ones, because it’s limited. 

    And unfortunately, today’s topic is something that is often not realized until it’s too late in life.

    After you listen to today’s episode, you’ll learn exactly what you can do to make the most of the time you have.

    If you loved this episode and want to know what to listen to next, check out this interview with Professor Tal Ben-Shahar, who will share more about creating a meaningful life: How to Build the Life You Want: Timeless Wisdom for More Happiness & Purpose.

    For more resources, including links to learn more about each expert on today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page. 

    Connect with Mel:

     

    7 Signs You May Have High Functioning Depression

    7 Signs You May Have High Functioning Depression

    In today’s episode, you’re going to learn about something important and rarely discussed that specifically impacts busy people and high achievers.

    Just ask yourself:

    - Do you just have coffee for breakfast, because a real meal would slow you down?

    - Do you eat lunch while you work, instead of taking a break?

    - Do you mindlessly scroll before going to bed because your mind is too busy?  

    - Do you take on extra work because you think, “I’m the only one who can do this, right?”

    - Are you always there for others but don’t take care of yourself? 

    These are some of the signs of high-functioning depression you should not ignore.

    Joining Mel today is the world’s leading expert and researcher on this topic, Dr. Judith Joseph, MD.

    Today, Dr. Joseph is here to share her groundbreaking research on this important subject and exactly what to do to feel more energized, excited, joyful, and present in your life again. 

    Dr. Joseph is a renowned double-board-certified psychiatrist who trained at and is affiliated with Columbia University and New York University. She is also a pioneering researcher and the founder and principal investigator of her research institute, Manhattan Behavioral Medicine, where she has conducted over 60 clinical research trials with her all-female medical team, which focus on high-functioning conditions, including high-functioning depression.

    This episode is for all the busy people who keep it all together, the moms on the move, and the overachievers at work. You’ll be surprised, moved, and feel a sense of relief and peace after today’s episode.

    For more resources, including links to Dr. Joseph’s research, click here for the podcast episode page. 

    If you liked this research-packed episode, you’ll love hearing Dr. Joseph’s other appearance on the podcast: Want to Be Happier Right Now? Don’t Make This Mistake (New Surprising Science)

    Connect with Mel:

     

    5 Small Habits That Will Change Your Life Forever

    5 Small Habits That Will Change Your Life Forever

    In this episode, you’ll learn the best expert advice Mel is using right now.

    For this one-of-a-kind episode of The Mel Robbins Podcast, Mel hand-picked the top 5 most impactful, insightful, and exciting pieces of advice and rules for life ever shared by her guests. 

    Listen as experts give you their best advice that will transform your health, stop anxiety, make you more money, improve your confidence, show when someone is lying to you, and help you live with more meaning and purpose.

    This episode is the cheat sheet for the level-up in life you have been looking for.

    What should you listen to next? 

    You’ll love the full podcast episodes with each of the experts featured today:

    Dr. Mark Hyman: “Reset Your Health in 10 Days: Advice From a Renowned MD”

    Dr. Luana Marques: “Harvard Professor Says THIS Is the Secret to Success (It’s Not What You Think)” and “Turn Anxiety Into Power: A 3-Step Process to Master Your Emotions From a Harvard Psychologist”

    Tiffany Aliche: “5 Rules of Money: How to Make It, Save It, & Be Smarter About It”

    Janine Driver: "FBI-Trained Expert Explains How to Read Body Language"

    Judie Robbins: "Get Your Sh*t Together: This 85-Year-Old Badass Does More Than You & Me (Steal Her 7 Amazing Secrets)"

    For more resources, including links to learn more about each expert on today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page. 

    Connect with Mel: