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    Do You F*cking Mind?

    Mindset hacks for a badass life, hosted by cognitive neuroscientist Alexis Fernandez.

    On Mondays my episodes are a combo of neuroscience and pop pscyhology: your pep talk and mindset hacks are all here. I deep dive into everything from habit formation and how to live a carefree life, to friendships and heartbreak.

    And on Thursdays we've got Head Noise - where I answer your questions! Email info@dyfmpod.com to submit your questions.

    Plus I've got a new book coming out in September. Pre order your copy of How to Chase Change - exclusively an audiobook - at https://bit.ly/44xwszR

    enLiSTNR Support333 Episodes

    Episodes (333)

    335. 5 Questions to ask yourself before a big life decision

    335. 5 Questions to ask yourself before a big life decision

    Do you want to have a child at this point in your life, or do you want to wait? Do you yearn for a relationship or are you feeling stuck? Have you considered moving countries, quitting your job or doing a completely new degree to change the trajectory of your life?

    If you're struggling to make a decision that you feel is right for you, this episode will help you get the confidence to make those tough choices. They might even help determine whether it goes well for you or not!

    LINKS

    CREDITS

    Host: Alexis Fernandez       
    Executive Producer & Editor:  Elise Cooper
    Digital Producer:  Zoe Panaretos
    DYFM Social Producer: Shania Magua
    Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh 

    Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com

     

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    334. How to REALLY stop caring about what people think of you

    334. How to REALLY stop caring about what people think of you

    How do you stop caring about what people think of you? How can you let go of the things that keep you from living the life you want? This question is so crippling for so many of us, but there IS a simple solution. In this episode we’ll learn how to deal with these feelings in a way that don't consume you and stop you from going on with your life.

    Plus I'll give you my 7 steps to overcome falling into the trap of caring what people think about you!

    BUT FIRST!

    BRAIN FACT:
    Central Sensitization and chronic pain: the phenomena when there is an enhancement in the function of the neurons and the circuits that are involved in nociceptive pathways causing an echo or remembered pain. It happens because of an increase in membrane excitability and synaptic efficacy. It’s a great example for how neuroplasticity works in a negative way and has been linked to chronic pain.

    LINKS

    CREDITS.  

    Host: Alexis Fernandez       
    Executive Producer & Editor:  Elise Cooper
    Digital Producer:  Zoe Panaretos
    DYFM Social Producer: Shania Magua
    Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh 

    Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Do You F*cking Mind?
    enMay 15, 2024

    333. Big Announcement: My new audiobook HOW TO CHASE CHANGE!

    333. Big Announcement: My new audiobook HOW TO CHASE CHANGE!

    My brand-new audiobook HOW TO CHASE CHANGE is the ultimate guide to shifting your mindset to become your best self. This 30-day program covers everything from turning aspirational goals into action and increasing self-confidence to overcoming heartbreak, eliminating negative self-talk, and so much more.

    LINKS

    CREDITS

    Host: Alexis Fernandez       
    Executive Producer & Editor:  Elise Cooper
    Digital Producer:  Zoe Panaretos
    DYFM Social Producer: Shania Magua
    Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh 

    Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    332. How to be Intentional and Not Passive with Your Life and Your Happiness

    332. How to be Intentional and Not Passive with Your Life and Your Happiness

    Do you let the outside world take control of your happiness? Does it feel like you’re always at the mercy of what’s happening outside your control? In this episode we’ll find out how to become more intentional and less passive when it comes to creating your own Happiness.

    BRAIN FACT:
    HIIT – High Intensity Interval Training, cortisol and over-training syndrome.

    Read about Overtraining Syndrome here https://bit.ly/overtraining-syndrome .

    LINKS

    CREDITS

    Host: Alexis Fernandez       
    Executive Producer & Editor:  Elise Cooper
    Digital Producer:  Zoe Panaretos
    DYFM Social Producer: Shania Magua
    Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh 

    Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    331. ENCORE: Discipline, Freedom, And Living Your Best Life

    331. ENCORE: Discipline, Freedom, And Living Your Best Life

    Beans I'm taking a much-needed long weekend so I thought it was a perfect time to bring up one of my most listened to episodes. It's a perfect place to start if you're new to the pod and a great reset if you're a long-time bean. I'm diving into discipline, and how reframing how you view it could be the ticket to a more free and enjoyable life.

    LINKS

    CREDITS

    Host: Alexis Fernandez       
    Executive Producer & Editor:  Elise Cooper
    Digital Producer:  Zoe Panaretos
    DYFM Social Producer: Shania Magua
    Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh 

    Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    330. HEAD NOISE: The Ick List, Blind or Blindsided and Should I Stay or Should I Go?

    330. HEAD NOISE: The Ick List, Blind or Blindsided and Should I Stay or Should I Go?

    First up I’m going through your ICKS – you loved when I did it in episode 322 so thought I’d pick more of your hilarious icks to read out.

    And then I get into Head Noise where I answer your questions – this week it’s all about heartbreak in long term relationships.

    1. How do you handle a relationship when your mind is telling you to run but your heart says otherwise? Me and my boyfriend are in our 20s and have been dating for a few years long distance.  Early on there was some lying and deception and we broke up, but I gave him a second chance as I thought he needed time to adjust from his single life to being coupled. I thought we were in a loving truthful relationship since then. But I have recently found out he has been texting 2 women. I feel it’s disrespectful, and my lack of trust from the previous lying has come back. He also follows Twitter pages with sexually explicit content. I’m a very trusting and open-minded person but I feel this relationship has made me insecure and untrusting particularly because we are long distance.
    2. Blind or Blindsided: Last night my bf of 3 years came home from work and said we needed to talk and that this wasn’t working and he didn’t love me anymore. I didn’t see this coming at all. We recently opened a business together. We regularly have sex, said I love you, planned for the future, and last week got back from a holiday together. He said he hasn’t felt a connection for some time due to my negativity and that he said he wanted kids (I’m 41 and have had ovarian failure. We’ve gone through a round of IVF together). How was he able to completely blindside me without me realising anything was up – he has gone to a new place to live so he’s clearly had time to plan this without my picking up on it.

    LINKS

    CREDITS

    Host: Alexis Fernandez       
    Executive Producer & Editor:  Elise Cooper
    Digital Producer:  Zoe Panaretos
    DYFM Social Producer: Shania Magua
    Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh 

    Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    329. What to do when Your Ex Moves on First

    329. What to do when Your Ex Moves on First

    So you’ve been dumped, or maybe you dumped someone. You’re scrolling through social media, or maybe a well meaning friend mentions, that your ex has moved on. Cue the SPIRAL. “How Could They?!”Already?!!!” “Did our time together mean NOTHING?”

    I’m giving you ten steps to keep yourself in check when your ex moves on before you including how to not let it derail you, keep your perspective, and quit the feeling that they “owe” you something.

    First up however, we’re diving into a SCIENCE FACT:
    GHB – the pharmacology of the date rape drug explained.

    LINKS

    CREDITS

    Host: Alexis Fernandez       
    Executive Producer & Editor:  Elise Cooper
    Digital Producer:  Zoe Panaretos
    DYFM Social Producer: Shania Magua
    Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh 

    Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    328. HEAD NOISE: Exes Lies Part 2, Forever Single and Thriving But Upset with Men, and Daddy Issues,

    328. HEAD NOISE: Exes Lies Part 2, Forever Single and Thriving But Upset with Men, and Daddy Issues,

    In the last Head Noise episode you guys LOVED the lies exes told so I’m bringing I back for an even more cooked part 2!

    And then I get into Head Noise where I answer your questions.

    1. I'm 24, forever single, thriving and upset with men. ‘ve been single my whole life and honestly thrive. But I’m curious about what its’ like in a partnership and am open to a boyfriend but very rarely do I get genuinely excited by a guy. When I do I REALLY do. But every guy I’ve ever like has had another girl in their lives they choose over me. I feel like a second choice or someone’s back up. One guy literally said that I was his second choice once a few year ago lol. Am I doing something wrong? And How can I make it hurt less when I don’t feel chosen?
    2. My dad and I have a good relationship when he’s in a good space, but when he’s in a bad place he can be a real arsehole Recently he and I got in a fight over text, and at the next family hang out I went to say hello to him and he gave me the most awkward side hug and barely talked to me. What do I do – I want a relationship with my dad but his behaviour is really childish and hurtful.

    LINKS

    CREDITS

    Host: Alexis Fernandez       
    Executive Producer & Editor:  Elise Cooper
    Digital Producer:  Zoe Panaretos
    DYFM Social Producer: Shania Magua
    Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh 

    Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com

     

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    327. Matthew Hussey on How to Raise Your Standards, Find Your Person and Live Happily (No Matter What)

    327. Matthew Hussey on How to Raise Your Standards, Find Your Person and Live Happily (No Matter What)

    New York Times best-selling author and international life and dating coach megastar Matthew Hussey joins the podcast!

    We're diving deep into his advice on dating, owning who you are, being comfortable with what you want, and his brand new book Love Life: How to Raise Your Standards, Find Your Person and Live Happily (No Matter What). I DARE you to leave this episode not feeling like a changed bean!

    LINKS

    CREDITS

    Host: Alexis Fernandez       
    Guest: Matthew Hussey .
    Executive Producer & Editor:  Elise Cooper
    Digital Producer:  Zoe Panaretos
    DYFM Social Producer: Shania Magua
    Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh 

    Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com

     

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    326. HEAD NOISE: The MANY Lies Exes Tell, Growing Apart, I Cheated on my Husband

    326. HEAD NOISE: The MANY Lies Exes Tell, Growing Apart, I Cheated on my Husband

    First I have a life update about something TRULY shocking that happened to me over the weekend, and I go through your stories of things men have lied to you about!

    Then I get into Head Noise where I answer your questions. In today’s episode we’ve got two really opposite topics!

    1. My husband and I are in out mid 20s and have been together since our late 20s. His family are very close with him. I have recently realised that I have always put his needs above mine – his personality has become my personality. I want to do so much more, experience the world and step outside my comfort zone. I want to put off having kids for a while and he doesn’t accept or understand it. I want change and he is so happy and content without change. We’re growing apart and I don’t know what to do.
    2. I’ve cheated on my husband with someone I had a huge connection with. We’ve ended it now as we are both married and decided we didn’t want to leave our partners for each other. Now that it is fully ended I don’t feel like I need to tell my husband as our relationship has really improved. I would just be unburdening my conscience to ruin lives, when I’ve already shut down that cheating relationship and am moving forward with my life. How do I alleviate the feelings of guilt that are clouding my moving forward.

    LINKS

    CREDITS

    Host: Alexis Fernandez       
    Executive Producer & Editor:  Elise Cooper
    Digital Producer:  Zoe Panaretos
    DYFM Social Producer: Shania Magua
    Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh 

    Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    325. Trauma Bonding: What it is, How to Notice it, and Knowing When and How to Leave

    325. Trauma Bonding: What it is, How to Notice it, and Knowing When and How to Leave

    What exactly is Trauma bonding? What if I told you that bonding with someone else over a traumatic event isn’t actually trauma bonding – it’s something else entirely! It’s about a relationship with someone who is traumatising and abusing you.

    I’m going to take you through what a trauma bond is, how to spot it, the 7 stages of trauma bonding, and how to know when (and how) to get out of a trauma bonded relationship.

    LINKS

    CREDITS

    Host: Alexis Fernandez       
    Executive Producer & Editor:  Elise Cooper
    Digital Producer:  Zoe Panaretos
    DYFM Social Producer: Shania Magua
    Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh 

    Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    324. HEAD NOISE: Sexually Inexperienced, Letting them Down Easy, Relationship Insecurities and Messed Up Parents

    324. HEAD NOISE: Sexually Inexperienced, Letting them Down Easy, Relationship Insecurities and Messed Up Parents

    It's Headnoise my beans and that means it’s time for me to answer your questions. I'm answering four of your questions this week ranging from an imbalance in sexual relationships in a partnership to trying to overcome the terrible relationship model parents set for one listener from childhood til now.

    AND if you want me to answer your question just email me at info@dyfmpod.com  

    1. My current partner has had very limited sexual experience and our sex life is very average. Sexual compatibility is important to me and I don’t know the best way to proceed. He is a green flag in every other sense it’s just that we are at different experience and comfort levels sexually and I don’t just want to "cross my fingers: and hope it gets better. What should I do?
    2. After listening to your episode on Limerence Vs Love (linked below) I am beginning to think I might be the object of limerence with someone. The person I’m dating obviously has stronger feelings than me and I was wondering what the best way is to let them down easy?
    3. I’m worried that I’m my fiancé’s second choice. I’ve seen him in the past search her up on social media and it’s a niggling doubt that the only reason he is with me is because I was the safe choice after his tumultuous relationship with her.
    4. Struggling in a relationship based on the model my parents set for me. I discovered my mum was cheating on my dad when I was a kid (saw the text messages) and withheld that from my dad – and I know the affair continues to this day. They have a terrible relationship. So all I’ve ever seen modelled is disfunction and hurt.

    LINKS

    CREDITS

    Host: Alexis Fernandez       
    Executive Producer & Editor:  Elise Cooper
    Digital Producer:  Zoe Panaretos
    DYFM Social Producer: Shania Magua
    Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh 

    Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    323. You Don't have to Beg, Force, or Chase to get what you Deserve

    323. You Don't have to Beg, Force, or Chase to get what you Deserve

    How do you know when something isn’t right for you? Sometimes we get caught up in the idea that hard work or working really hard for something will always bring it out in the best in us, but sometimes it’s just not worth it. In this episode we’re going to find out how to identify that and how to stop chasing after things that are not meant for you.

    We’ll also find out what you can do instead to start living a life that feels right.

    LINKS

    CREDITS

    Host: Alexis Fernandez       
    Executive Producer & Editor:  Elise Cooper
    Digital Producer:  Zoe Panaretos
    DYFM Social Producer: Shania Magua
    Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh 

    Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com

     

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    322. HEAD NOISE: Am I Being Too Needy, A Tricky Friendship, and Fixing a Mismatched Sex Life

    322. HEAD NOISE: Am I Being Too Needy, A Tricky Friendship, and Fixing a Mismatched Sex Life

    It's Headnoise my beans and that means it’s time for me to answer your questions. Here’s what I’m tackling this week. AND if you want me to answer your question just email me at info@dyfmpod.com   

    1. I’ve had the same partner for a few years and we’re two women in our 20s. We’ve had a few bumps in the road as most relationships do, and without sounding like a douche a fair few have them have been her doing/from her. She has pushed me away quite a few times and treated our relationship poorly in the beginning. We’ve been in a more stable and healthy relationship in the last 9  months. I still think we can get better from both sides, and listening to your podcast has made me want to share your advice with her. She doesn’t like self-help or advice books and things. How can I get her more invested without pushing her boundaries. Am I being needy and are my expectations unfair?
    2. My best mate of many years has a complicated life and mental health struggles. She has serious enmeshment with everyone she meets. Her self-image is the most important quality to her. She’s struggled with her body image issues and projected that onto her friends. She’s very rarely single for longer that 2 weeks. She’s in therapy but mostly focuses on her sexual and romantic relationships. She’s quite selfish. I’m struggling with resentment given how long we have been friends and how badly her behaviour affects me and others.
    3. Sex in my long term relationship is fizzling. I’m worried about getting the ick too after a few therapy sessions where the counsellor called out red flags in my partners behaviour. My partner really is quite sexually physical and I’m just not interested in his lacklustre foreplay and just want him to hurry up so I can go to sleep. I know this question is asked a lot but what can I do? I love my partner and don’t want this to be the end.

    LINKS

    CREDITS

    Host: Alexis Fernandez       
    Executive Producer & Editor:  Elise Cooper
    Digital Producer:  Zoe Panaretos
    DYFM Social Producer: Shania Magua
    Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh 

    Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com

     

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    321. How to Stop Inviting Drama into Your Life

    321. How to Stop Inviting Drama into Your Life

    First up I have a life update – I’m going to try out publishing my episodes on Mondays and Thursdays from here on in (although this episode is coming out on a Tuesday because it’s a national public holiday here in Australia.)

    And on Thursdays you can expect the Head Noise episode.

    Okay now – THIS episode, I’m diving into how to stop inviting drama into your life. Do you find that drama alllways finds you? This is going to help you stop finding yourself in the middle of the bitching, get away from the gossip, and be a fab chill queen bean.

    SCIENCE FACT: How pathogens (a disease causing mechanism) is destroyed within the body.  

    LINKS:

    CREDITS

    Host: Alexis Fernandez       
    Executive Producer & Editor:  Elise Cooper
    Digital Producer:  Zoe Panaretos
    DYFM Social Producer: Shania Magua
    Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh 

    Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    320. The secret to creating habits that last

    320. The secret to creating habits that last

    Habits! Those pesky little things that we're told time and time again are key to getting your life on track. They can feel like a tough nut to crack so in partnership with Medibank I’m taking you through my tips for how to form habits that last.

    LINKS:

    CREDITS

    Host: Alexis Fernandez       
    Executive Producer & Editor:  Elise Cooper
    Digital Producer:  Zoe Panaretos
    DYFM Social Producer: Shania Magua
    Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh 

    Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    319. Top 10 Non-Negotiables in Dating

    319. Top 10 Non-Negotiables in Dating

    First up I have a life update about my Sydney Live show.
    Then I get into the science of your nervous system, and the 7 types of nervous systems. (no there isn’t just one).

    Then I take you through my top 10 non-negotiables to be aware of when you’re dating.

    LINKS:

    CREDITS

    Host: Alexis Fernandez       
    Executive Producer & Editor:  Elise Cooper
    Digital Producer:  Zoe Panaretos
    DYFM Social Producer: Shania Magua
    Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh 

    Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    318. HEAD NOISE: A 10 Year Affair, Situationship Advice, and Wanting Kids when My Partner Doesn't

    318. HEAD NOISE: A 10 Year Affair,  Situationship Advice, and Wanting Kids when My Partner Doesn't

    This is my HEAD NOISE episode where you send in your questions and I answer them!

    In this episode you’ve asked for my advice on these questions.

    1. A friend of mine admitted that she had been having an affair for 10 years. Looking back I think she told me because she was looking for someone to condone her behaviour. Unfortunately for her I did not. Every time I pointed her in the direction of bettering her situation she would come up with an excuse. I don’t know what else to do. Is this friendship a lost cause?
    2.  I'm starting to get feelings for my “Situationship” or as I’ve started calling it, my situationshit. I met him 4 years ago when travelling and had a one night thing. We kept in touch here and there over the years. Cut to few years later when we were both single again and started having amazing weekends together whenever travel plans aligned. The thing is, I now live closer to him (the reason I moved is separate to him) and I can feel myself getting proper feelings. What should I do?
    3. My partner and I have been together for 4 years and in our early 30s. I really want children but he doesn’t/ We’ve been talking about it on and off for 18 months and have been going to therapy about it. I’m holding on to hope – how long is too long to hold on to that hope.

     

    LINKS:

    CREDITS

    Host: Alexis Fernandez       
    Executive Producer & Editor:  Elise Cooper
    Digital Producer:  Zoe Panaretos
    DYFM Social Producer: Shania Magua
    Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh 

    Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com

     

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    317. Intrinsic vs Extrinsic Motivation: How to maximise your motivation

    317. Intrinsic vs Extrinsic Motivation: How to maximise your motivation

    A couple of topics in this episode today Beans!

    Firstly I’ve got a cool science fact about milk and hydration.

    And a life update – I’m in META hell and it’s a PSA that you need to turn on 2FA on your social media accounts cause the scam artists are out in full force!

    Plus for the bulk of the episode I’m talking about Intrinsic Vs Extrinsic Motivation. How understanding the difference between the two is going to help you to get things done – particularly when you keep falling off the motivation train.  

    LINKS:

    CREDITS

    HostAlexis Fernandez       
    Executive Producer & Editor:  Elise Cooper
    Digital Producer:  Zoe Panaretos
    DYFM Social ProducerShania Magua
    Managing Producer:  Sam Cavanagh 

    Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com

     

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    316. The Neuroscience of the Sleepy Girl Mocktail: Tart Cherry Juice and Sleep

    316. The Neuroscience of the Sleepy Girl Mocktail: Tart Cherry Juice and Sleep

    The 'Sleepy Girl Mocktail' was a trend going around TikTok that claimed to help you fall asleep, stay asleep and even improve the quality of your Sleep. And it’s all about Tart Cherry Juice – specifically Montmorency cherries or sour cherries.

    So what exactly are the ingredients in this drink and how much validity is there to the claims that it helps you not only fall asleep but also stay asleep?

    In this episode we’re going to dive deep into the science behind the ingredients, find out what the science says about them and separate the difference between falling asleep and staying asleep. And for those of you that struggle to fall asleep or stay asleep and struggle with maybe Insomnia and staying asleep, this could help you out!

    RECCOMENDATIONS:

    LINKS:

    CREDITS

    Host: Alexis Fernandez       
    Executive Producer & Editor: Elise Cooper
    Digital Producer: Zoe Panaretos
    DYFM Social Producer: Shania Magua
    Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh 

    Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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