Avoiding the Love Martyr Trap: Love should not involve sacrificing your own happiness. It's important to assess compatibility and listen to your heart, not your ego, in matters of love.
When it comes to love and relationships, it's important to be aware of and avoid becoming a love martyr. This means not getting trapped in toxic relationships and believing that the more you fight for it, the more special it becomes. Love should not be about sacrificing your own happiness and well-being for the sake of the relationship. It's crucial to ask yourself important questions like whether you genuinely enjoy each other's company and if you're truly compatible. Additionally, it's important to listen to your heart rather than letting your ego guide your decisions in matters of love. By keeping these things in mind, you can cultivate healthier and more fulfilling relationships.
The Power and Peril of Our Ego: Balancing ego and love is crucial for personal growth and healthy relationships. Confidence from the ego can propel us forward, but seeking external validation can lead us astray.
Our ego can be both a superpower and a dangerous force. Nick Viall explains that our ego gives us the confidence to face challenges and believe in ourselves. It drives us to pursue greatness and not settle for less. However, if we can't control our ego, it can lead us down dark paths. Our ego may convince us that we need validation from others to feel enough or to be complete. This can cause us to chase the wrong things and make unhealthy relationship choices. The key is to find a balance between ego and love. Love involves accepting ourselves and others for who they are, while ego focuses on external validation.
Acceptance and Growth: The Journey to Finding Lasting Love: Love is not about seeking validation or leading with ego. It's about accepting and growing with someone who helps you become the best version of yourself. Letting go of past pain and holding onto acceptance are essential for finding lasting love.
Love is about acceptance and growth. Nick Viall's experiences on reality TV and in past relationships taught him that seeking validation and leading with ego are toxic behaviors. He realized that no one else can make you a better person; instead, it's about finding someone who helps you become your best version of yourself. Love is not about superficial things like looks or status; it's about accepting the strengths and weaknesses of the person you are with. Nick's journey towards personal growth and attracting a healthy, conscious relationship started with a pivotal moment of being cheated on, which made him reevaluate his actions, ego, and intentions. Letting go of past pain and holding onto acceptance are key factors in finding lasting love.
The Bachelor's Nick Viall's Lesson in Mindful Decision-Making: By being aware of our motivations and taking the time to recalibrate our thoughts, we can make more conscious decisions that align with our true values and aspirations.
In short, one big takeaway from Nick Viall's experience on The Bachelor is the importance of being mindful of our decisions and thoughts. Viall's journey on the show allowed him to reflect on how easily our ego and insecurities can take over, leading us to make choices that may not align with our true desires. He realized that we are capable of lying to ourselves and convincing ourselves of what we think we want. This serves as a reminder that we have the power to control our thoughts and feelings over time. By being aware of our motivations and taking the time to recalibrate our thoughts, we can make more conscious decisions that align with our true values and aspirations.
Overcoming Heartbreak: Changing Your Narrative and Finding Happiness: Don't dwell on the pain of a breakup. Instead, focus on gratitude and fill the void with new experiences to gradually overcome heartbreak and find happiness.
The pain of a breakup doesn't necessarily mean that the person you lost was special or the right fit for you. It's natural to feel hurt and devastated, especially when you've invested time and effort into a relationship. However, dwelling on the pain and constantly replaying negative thoughts in your mind only prolongs the healing process. Instead, try to change your narrative and focus on gratitude for the things you do have. By projecting a positive outlook and filling the void with new experiences and activities, you can gradually overcome heartbreak and find happiness. Remember that the pain doesn't define the worth of the relationship or the person involved.
The impact of seeking validation on relationships: Focus on authenticity, value your own opinions, and don't let others' thoughts define your actions in relationships.
Seeking validation from others and worrying about their opinions can be detrimental to our relationships. Nick Viall emphasizes that we shouldn't let other people's thoughts define our actions or influence how we present our relationships. He notes that constantly seeking approval on social media, such as posting about our relationship, can actually increase the pressure and the desire to please others. This can lead to losing our true selves and acting based on what we think others want to see. Instead, Viall suggests focusing on the authenticity of our connections, valuing our own opinions, and not letting the comments, both positive and negative, have power over our relationships.
The Impact of Comments on Social Media: Be cautious of the impact of both positive and negative comments on social media. It's important to prioritize how our partners make us feel in a relationship, rather than solely relying on chemistry or societal validation.
We should be cautious about the impact of both positive and negative comments from strangers on social media. Nick Viall highlights the danger of only embracing positive feedback, as it sets us up to also internalize negative comments. We must remember that these individuals don't truly know us or have insights into our lives. Even though positive comments can make us feel good, they can also make negative feedback more impactful on our subconscious. Moreover, when it comes to relationships, it's important to consider how our partners make us feel. We should prioritize being with someone who portrays pride in the relationship and makes us feel loved rather than pursuing relationships solely based on chemistry or societal validation.
Chemistry vs Compatibility: The Truth About Love: Prioritize compatibility in relationships to prevent future problems and avoid the pitfalls of relying solely on chemistry. Learn from past mistakes and avoid generalizations to create a healthy and lasting connection.
Chemistry is not always a reliable indicator of lasting love. While chemistry can be fun and exciting, it can also be manufactured and misleading. On the other hand, compatibility may not be as sexy or glamorous, but it is something that can be trusted and relied upon. Compatibility is about enjoying each other's company and having common interests and values. Prioritizing compatibility in a relationship can prevent future problems and exhaustion from constant compromise. In today's society, there is often an overemphasis on chemistry, but it is important to give compatibility the attention it deserves. It is also crucial to avoid generalizations and stereotypes in both men and women, as it creates a disposable dating culture and can contribute to infidelity. Lastly, it is important to recognize and learn from the red flags in our past selves, such as being narrow-minded, overly confident, and judgmental.
The Importance of Self-Awareness and Self-Love in Relationships: Before pursuing any relationships, it is important to understand and accept oneself, acknowledge vulnerabilities, and prioritize personal growth to build healthy connections with others.
It's crucial to know and accept who you are before pursuing relationships. Nick Viall shares his experience of not truly understanding himself until he was 29 years old. He emphasizes the importance of acknowledging vulnerabilities and insecurities, as well as being aware of one's fears. He warns against red flags in dating, such as when someone avoids working on their personal issues. Furthermore, Viall believes that self-love is fundamental to accepting love from others. If you don't believe you deserve love or see yourself negatively, it becomes challenging to accept love from someone else. It's crucial to feel comfortable and genuinely love yourself before fully engaging in relationships.
Embracing Weaknesses and Embracing Change: Acknowledge weaknesses, be honest, and embrace new beginnings; it is never too late to press the reset button and start over, embracing the possibility of change and growth.
It is important to acknowledge our weaknesses and be honest with ourselves and others about them. Nick Viall realized that pretending to be good at everything only led to feelings of fear and insecurity. By accepting his weaknesses and being open about them, he was able to find acceptance from others. Furthermore, Viall learned the importance of perspective from his grandmother, who went through her own challenges and taught him that life is a journey with many opportunities for reinvention. He realized that it is never too late to press the reset button and start over, embracing the possibility of change and growth. So, don't be afraid to acknowledge your weaknesses, be honest, and embrace new beginnings.
Teaching the Value of Love and Self-Worth: Nick Viall strives to instill in his daughter the importance of self-love, hard work, and surrounding herself with people who truly value her, in order to cultivate healthy relationships in life.
Nick Viall wants his daughter to know that she is deserving of love and that she is truly loved. He wants her to understand her own value and to treat herself with love and care. He hopes to teach her the importance of hard work and having perspective. Nick also wants his daughter to be mindful of how she spends her time and energy, and to prioritize the people who value and prioritize her in return. He wants her to avoid chasing the wrong things and filling voids with toxic relationships. Ultimately, Nick aims to give his daughter enough love and make her feel valued so that she can seek out healthy, fulfilling relationships in life.
The Impact of Technology on Human Connection: In a world dominated by technology, it is crucial to prioritize and actively work towards maintaining deep and meaningful connections with others to counteract the growing loneliness and isolation.
Technology and social media have made it easier for us to disconnect from each other, leading to a society that is becoming lonelier and more isolated. With the rise of AI and non-human options for connection, there is a genuine concern about the future of human-to-human communication and relationships. To combat this, it is important to reflect on why we date and be intentional about our choices. We must prioritize connecting with someone on a daily basis and continuously getting to know them, even after the initial attraction has been established. By being aware of the level of connection in our relationships and actively working to maintain and deepen it, we can foster meaningful connections in a world that is increasingly becoming disconnected.
Prioritizing Connection and Effort in Relationships: Building a successful relationship requires open communication, simple gestures, and intentional effort. Additionally, prioritizing family and loved ones brings fulfillment.
Prioritizing connection and actively working on a relationship is essential for its success. Rather than pointing fingers or blaming each other, it's important to have open conversations and figure out why the connection might be lacking. Simple gestures like holding hands, caressing, and truly listening to your partner can make a significant difference. It's not about having a picture-perfect relationship, but about putting in the effort to make it work. Nick Viall's pride in his relationship stems from the intentional focus and prioritization he and his partner put into it. Additionally, for Nick, being a father has always been a constant desire and source of fulfillment, emphasizing the importance of family and taking care of loved ones.
Nick Viall's Purpose: Fatherhood and Meaningful Relationships: Seek love, not validation. Embrace resilience and growth. Appreciate the love from others. These lessons define Nick Viall's greatness.
Nick Viall finds purpose in being there for others and feels a deep sense of responsibility towards their survival, love, and affection. This realization has made everything he does worth it. He believes that being a father and the impact he has on his children will be the most meaningful thing he leaves behind. When asked about the three lessons he would like to leave behind, he emphasizes not seeking validation but seeking love instead. He also highlights the importance of resilience and viewing every problem as an opportunity for growth. Lastly, he stresses the significance of feeling loved in relationships and being mindful of the love we receive from those around us. Overall, Nick values resiliency as his definition of greatness, as it has helped him overcome numerous obstacles in life.
The #1 Dating Mistake That’s Keeping You Single | Nick Viall
Nick Viall shares strategies on moving on from heartbreak, social media's impact on love and self-love in relationships on his podcast with over 100 million downloads, discussing attraction, authenticity and the importance of being loved.
The School of Greatness
1694 Episodes
Recent Episodes from The School of Greatness
5 Ways to Break Free From A News Feed That is DESTROYING Your Mental Health
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IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL LEARN
- How to recognize anxiety as an internal alarm system designed to help you identify what you truly need
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For more information go to https://www.lewishowes.com/1688
For more Greatness text PODCAST to +1 (614) 350-3960
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To request a free brand strategy call with Rory‘s team, go to lewishowes.com/brandcall!
Summit of Greatness is back in Los Angeles in 2025! Get your tickets NOW! https://lewishowes.com/tickets
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Esther Perel: The #1 Reason Relationships Are FAILING Today! How To Create Love That Lasts & Have Better Sex
In this powerful episode of The School of Greatness, I sit down with world-renowned psychotherapist and relationship expert Esther Perel at the Summit of Greatness. Esther brings her profound wisdom to explore the complexities of modern relationships, diving deep into topics like eroticism, intimacy, and the challenges of finding connection in our digital age. She shares fascinating insights about why people struggle with relationships today, offering practical guidance for both singles and couples. Through personal stories, including a touching revelation about her husband's kidney transplant, Esther demonstrates how vulnerability and community support are essential for human connection. This conversation is filled with transformative insights that will change how you think about love, relationships, and what makes us feel truly alive.
Summit of Greatness is back in Los Angeles in 2025! Get your tickets NOW!
Get 15% OFF Esther’s courses with the code HOWES15: https://www.estherperel.com/course-bundles/the-desire-bundle
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Are You Secretly SABOTAGING Your Wealth? How To MANIFEST Money & Attract Abundance
Today on The School of Greatness, I dive deep into the psychology and practice of manifesting money with three incredible experts: Rhonda Byrne (creator of The Secret), Robin Sharma (leadership expert and author), and Dan Martell (successful entrepreneur and coach). We explore everything from rewriting limiting money beliefs to understanding true wealth beyond just financial success. Each guest brings powerful insights about transforming your relationship with money, developing an abundance mindset, and creating sustainable wealth while maintaining balance in life. If you've ever struggled with money blocks or want to level up your financial game while staying true to your values, this masterclass episode is a must-listen.
- Buy Rhonda’s card set - The Secret Manifestation Cards
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For more information go to https://www.lewishowes.com/1685
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Muniba Mazari's story of resilience and transformation is truly awe-inspiring. From surviving a devastating car crash that left her paralyzed to becoming Pakistan's first wheelchair-bound model and TV host, Muniba's journey is a testament to the power of the human spirit. In this episode, we dive deep into her experiences, exploring how she turned adversity into opportunity and found purpose through art and public speaking. Get ready to be inspired by Muniba's infectious positivity and her powerful message of self-acceptance and living a life of purpose!
Summit of Greatness is back in Los Angeles in 2025! Get your tickets NOW!
IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL LEARN:
- How to transform personal tragedies into sources of strength and inspiration
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Top Psychologist: How To Heal From HEARTBREAK, LONELINESS, & REJECTION To ATTRACT Healthy Love | Guy Winch
In this episode, I sit down with psychologist and bestselling author Guy Winch to explore the intricate world of emotional health and relationships. Guy shares his insights on building self-esteem, managing heartbreak, and creating healthy foundations for lasting partnerships. We dive deep into the importance of emotional literacy, discuss how to navigate the complexities of modern dating, and explore strategies for raising emotionally intelligent children. Guy's wisdom, gained from three decades of clinical practice, offers listeners practical tools to improve their emotional wellbeing and build more fulfilling relationships.
In this episode you will learn
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For more information go to https://www.lewishowes.com/1682
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Elizabeth Gilbert: How To Stop Manifesting TOXIC Love & HEAL Your Relationships
Enjoy this enlightening conversation with the inspiring Liz Gilbert, bestselling author of "Eat, Pray, Love". Liz opens up about her journey through love addiction, codependency, and finding spiritual sobriety. She also shares profound insights on developing a relationship with unconditional love, setting healthy boundaries, and prioritizing emotional wellbeing. Liz also discusses her new project "Letters from Love" and how she's learning to rest and receive support. Her vulnerability and wisdom on topics like God, relationships, and self-care make this a must-listen episode for anyone on a path of personal growth.
IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL LEARN:
- How Liz overcame love addiction through 12-step recovery and developing a relationship with a higher power
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The Real Truth About Getting RICH In 2024! 3 Steps To Make Your First Million | Codie Sanchez
I'm thrilled to bring you this special segment from our Summit of Greatness featuring the incredible Codie Sanchez. Codie's an award-winning journalist and the founder of Contrarian Thinking and Unconventional Acquisitions. In this electrifying talk, she breaks down the real truth about getting rich in 2024. Codie shares her journey from earning $37,000 a year to building multiple successful companies, and reveals the mindset shifts and strategies that can help you achieve financial freedom. Get ready for some hard-hitting truths, actionable insights, and a powerful call to become an owner in today's economy. This episode is a game-changer for anyone looking to level up their financial game and make a real impact.
- Buy Codie’s book for yourself and a friend! Main Street Millionaire How to Make Extraordinary Wealth Buying Ordinary Businesses
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"Why You're SABOTAGING Your Love Life" - The Neuroscience of Attraction Revealed
In this powerful episode of The School of Greatness, I dive deep into the fascinating world of love, relationships, and the human brain with three incredible experts. We kick things off with neuroscientist Dr. Tara Swart, who breaks down the science behind attraction, bonding, and how our childhood wounds impact our adult relationships. Next, I sit down with relationship guru Matthew Hussey to discuss his new book "Love Life" and unpack the keys to finding lasting love. Finally, we explore the future of dating and how to build strong connections in our tech-driven world. This episode is packed with mind-blowing insights, practical advice, and inspiring stories that will transform how you approach love and relationships. Whether you're single, dating, or in a long-term partnership, you won't want to miss the game-changing wisdom shared in this conversation!
IN THIS EPISODE YOU WILL LEARN:
- How childhood trauma and our "shadow self" influence our ability to attract and maintain healthy relationships
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