338: The Dos and Don'ts of a Charmed Life

The Power of Self-Appreciation: 5 Steps to Delight in You

Inspired by a quote from Anais Nin, Tonya Leigh reflects on the concept she has adopted that is centered on delighting in oneself.  Tonya shares her experience of a delightful day spent alone and discusses the importance of analyzing and journaling about such days to create more moments of joy. She offers five ways to delight in oneself, encouraging listeners to take pleasure and satisfaction in who they are.

By prioritizing self-care, nurturing self-relationship, and appreciating one's own value, individuals can cultivate a deeper sense of joy, fulfillment, and self-love. These practices not only benefit personal well-being but also have a positive impact on external relationships, work, and overall quality of life. Embracing these aspects can lead to a more fulfilling and delightful existence, where individuals can truly thrive and experience the fullness of life.

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Episode Details:

00:49 Delighting in yourself

06:52 Prioritize self-care

09:35 Making time for joyful activities

15:31 Being your own best friend

20:14 Quality alone time

21:51 Cultivating a deeper relationship with yourself

Quotes:

 "My mission, should I choose to accept it, is to find peace."

“A joyful woman is a magnet for her desires. Energy is always looking for its equal match. Delighting is an energy. It is a vibration that you put out into the world.”

"You are the longest commitment you will ever have in your life. Make the choice to lovingly commit to yourself."

 "What if you just decided you're never going to beat yourself up again? Instead, you're going to be your own best friend, your greatest cheerleader."

"You are worth that time. You are valuable enough to delight in yourself."

"There's nothing wrong with you. You are not broken. But your approach probably is."

Useful Resources:

• Join the membership now: https://schoolofselfimage.com/join

• FREE training: https://schoolofselfimage.com/powerfully-ever-after/
  
  

• FREE download: https://schoolofselfimage.com/self-image-manifesto/

• Sign up for the weekly Edit: http://schoolofselfimage.com/edit

Connect with Master Self-Image Coach, Tonya Leigh:

• Website:  https://schoolofselfimage.com
  
  

• Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/tonyaleigh
  
  

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TonyaLeighOfficial
  
  

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetonyaleigh
  
  
  

Ditching Apologies: Cultivating Self-Love and Confidence

Over-apologizing can become such a habit we don't even realize we are repeating the behavior.  School of Self-Image host Tonya Leigh discusses the tendency for women to over-apologize and the impact it can have on their self-esteem and confidence. She explores why women tend to over-apologize, including societal expectations and the desire to please others.

Tonya emphasizes the importance of recognizing when apologies are unnecessary and offers strategies for breaking the habit, such as replacing "I'm sorry" with "thank you" and focusing on solutions instead of apologies. She encourages women to take ownership of their space, needs, and voice without feeling the need to apologize constantly.

Tune in to discover how over-apologizing can impact your daily life and learn how to break free from this ingrained behavior.

Episode Details:

00:51 Over-apologizing in daily life

05:32 Apologizing for things beyond control

10:41 Recognizing over-apologizing habits

13:44 Swapping "sorry" for "thank you"

17:52 Refusing to apologize for being you

Quotes:

"I'm so sorry I'm crying. I'm like, why are you apologizing for feeling your human emotions? We should never apologize for having emotions."

"When you apologize for things that aren't your fault, you're basically saying, I'm sorry for having needs. I'm sorry for taking up space. I'm sorry for needing support."

"You have valuable thoughts and ideas to share. You are deserving of taking up space. You are worthy of support and love."

"I am all for taking responsibility when it's my responsibility. But I was taking on the world's responsibility when I was over-apologizing."

"The last suggestion I can offer you is to begin to ask questions with confidence instead of apologizing because sometimes, sorry just becomes a crutch to get someone's attention."

Useful resources:

Useful Resources:

• Join the membership now: https://schoolofselfimage.com/join
  
  

• FREE training: https://schoolofselfimage.com/powerfully-ever-after/
  
  

• FREE download: https://schoolofselfimage.com/self-image-manifesto/
  
  

• Sign up for the weekly Edit: http://schoolofselfimage.com/edit
  
  
  
  

Connect with Master Self-Image Coach, Tonya Leigh:

• Website:  https://schoolofselfimage.com
  
  

• Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/tonyaleigh
  
  

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TonyaLeighOfficial
  
  

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetonyaleigh
  
  

 

Unlocking the Lessons of Aging: Embracing Your Journey with Gratitude

Embracing your age with joy, purpose, and gratitude at every stage of life is a powerful mindset shift that can lead to a more fulfilling and enriching experience. In the podcast episode, Tonya Leigh discusses the importance of loving your age, regardless of where you are in life. She emphasizes the need to appreciate the present moment and find beauty in every stage of life.

One key point highlighted is the significance of reframing aging from being seen as a burden to being viewed as a blessing. Aging is not a disease but a privilege, offering opportunities for growth, learning, and new experiences. By shifting our perspective on aging, we can approach each stage of life with a sense of gratitude and excitement for what it has to offer.

Join  Tonya as she dives into breaking free from societal aging expectations and embracing your unique identity at every age, so  you can cultivate a sense of empowerment and self-expression.

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Episode Details:

00:39 Loving Your Age

08:27 Reframing aging as a blessing.

12:26 Intergenerational friendships.

15:18 Creating age loving environments.

19:10 Dressing for desired energy.

25:38 Choosing Positive Aging Narratives.

27:25 Embracing new experiences.

31:37 Overcoming people pleasing and approval.

Quotes:

"You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old."

"I'm not going to waste time wishing I was 20 again, because I'll never be 20 again."

"Aging is not a disease. It is a privilege, a privilege truly of a lifetime."

"Push against what you've been told older folks can supposedly do or can't do. I mean, who decided that?"

"I love what Iris Eiffel says. She's like, style has no age. It's an attitude, not age."

"I want to chase less and enjoy more."

"I used to think happiness was a fairy tale, forever just out of reach."

 

Useful Resources:

• Join the membership now: https://schoolofselfimage.com/join
  
  

• FREE training: https://schoolofselfimage.com/powerfully-ever-after/
  
  

• FREE download: https://schoolofselfimage.com/self-image-manifesto/
  
  

• Sign up for the weekly Edit: http://schoolofselfimage.com/edit
  
  
  
  

Connect with Master Self-Image Coach, Tonya Leigh:

• Website:  https://schoolofselfimage.com
  
  

• Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/tonyaleigh
  
  

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TonyaLeighOfficial
  
  

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetonyaleigh
  
  

Raising the Bar: How to Set Higher Standards for Self-Love

What is your self-love standard? This week Tonya Leigh discusses the importance of self-love standards and how they can impact our lives. Self-love is not just about fluffy feelings, but about setting expectations for how we treat ourselves. So, how do we raise our self-love standards? By examining how we talk to ourselves, how we treat our bodies, and how we expect to be treated by others. Tonya shares personal experiences and examples to illustrate the power of self-love standards and how this manifests in our self-image. Tonya encourages listeners to align their standards with their future self-image and create a life that reflects their highest potential.

Episode Details:

 

Stepping into the Spotlight: Embracing Your Superpower of Visibility

What is fear of being seen? Host and Master Self-Image Coach Tonya Leigh gives valuable insights on the fear of being seen and the impact it can have on women. She shares personal experiences and highlights the societal pressure for women to blend in and not rock the boat. Tonya emphasizes the importance of embracing authenticity and stepping into the spotlight of our lives. She offers tools and strategies for overcoming the fear of being seen, including acknowledging the fear, starting small, building a support network, shifting the narrative, challenging the inner critic, taking action, finding inspiration, and remembering one's why. She also encourages women to celebrate their milestones and to be willing to be judged and fail in order to reclaim their stories and voices. She concludes by reminding listeners that they are worthy, powerful, and meant to be seen.

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Episode Details:

01:01 Fear of being seen

04:54 Blending In

09:45 Harnessing the superpower of visibility

13:22 Imposter syndrome 

19:16 Celebrating small milestones and progress.

23:54 Fear of being judged.

 

Quotes:

"When I think about going after extraordinary goals, one of the things that is required is that you're seen on some level."

“I got over my fear of being seen. I was willing to be judged. I was willing to be ridiculed."

"Remember, and this is really important, visibility isn't about validation."

"What I have known to be true is the more imperfect I am, the more vulnerable I am, the more I share the ins and outs of my life, the more people can connect to that."

"Fear has no control over you in this part of your life. When you're willing to be judged, when you're willing to get it wrong, when you're willing to be imperfect, when you're willing to look stupid, when you're willing to fail, all of a sudden the fear is gone."

 

Useful Resources:

• Join the membership now: https://schoolofselfimage.com/join

• FREE download: https://schoolofselfimage.com/self-image-manifesto/

• Sign up for the weekly Edit: http://schoolofselfimage.com/edit
  
  

Connect with Master Self-Image Coach, Tonya Leigh:

• Website:  https://schoolofselfimage.com

• Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/tonyaleigh

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TonyaLeighOfficial

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetonyaleigh

 

 

Comfort vs. Strength: Creating a Life of Fulfillment

The importance of finding a balance between comfort and strength in order to live a fulfilling and adventurous life is the focus on  this  episode of School of Self-Image with host Tonya Leigh. She emphasizes that while comfort can be enjoyable, too much of it can prevent us from pursuing our dreams. On the other hand, strength is necessary for personal growth and achieving our goals. Leigh encourages listeners to embrace discomfort and take small brave steps outside of their comfort zones. She also highlights the importance of mindfulness and self-compassion in navigating the balance between comfort and strength. Ultimately, she suggests that true fulfillment comes from embracing both comfort and strength in our lives.

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Episode Details:

00:22 Finding balance between comfort and adventure

07:25 There's low risk with comfort

09:43 Leisurely hustling

12:47 Setting extraordinary goals

17:04 A beautiful waltz of comfort and strength

 

Quotes:

"Find a balance between rest and restlessness. Find a balance between the life you dream of and the life you live."

"Strength is that inner knowing that you've got your own back, that you are going to do what you say you're going to do, that you're going to handle the obstacles that come your way, that you're going to have courage."

 "True pleasure is the absence of pain."

"There's something beautiful about seeing what you're made of"

"A life that's built from both comfort and strength, because ultimately true fulfillment lies not in choosing one over the other, but in mastering the art of embracing both."

 

Useful Resources:

• Join the membership now: https://schoolofselfimage.com/join

• FREE download: https://schoolofselfimage.com/self-image-manifesto/

• Sign up for the weekly Edit: http://schoolofselfimage.com/edit
  
  

Connect with Master Self-Image Coach, Tonya Leigh:

• Website:  https://schoolofselfimage.com

• Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/tonyaleigh

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TonyaLeighOfficial

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetonyaleigh

 

 

Learning from the Past and Creating Your Future

 

Have you ever considered how amazing it would be if you chose to learn from the past intentionally?  How this might create a better future? Welcome to this week's episode of School of Self-Image podcast with host, Master Self-Image Coach Tonya Leigh. 

Tonya is all in on the concept of a monthly reset and shares her personal experience of starting a new morning routine. She encourages listeners to tune in to their future selves and take action towards their goals, even if they feel off track. She reassures them that it's never too late to make a change and improve their lives.  

Hitting that monthly reset goal is such a part of self-image work and in shaping experiences and outcomes. By changing how individuals perceive themselves, they can create new evidence and transform various areas of their lives, including relationships, finances, and personal growth. This is the power of the monthly reset.  

Episode Details:

Finding Fulfillment Through Trusting Your Intuition

Do you struggles with not trusting intuition? Tonya Leigh knows exactly what that feels like and how it has impacted her  life. Throughout this episode, she emphasizes the benefits of following intuition. Listening to intuition can lead to a more fulfilling life and make decision-making easier. Intuition is described as an inner compass connected to one's true self and higher purpose. Tonya encourages listeners to pay attention to their bodies and not ignore the signals they receive. Ignoring intuition can lead to suffering and keep individuals in a state of scarcity. Being overly cognitive and overthinking things can override gut feelings and lead to decisions that are not in true service of oneself.

To reconnect with intuition, Tonya suggests asking oneself questions and tuning into the inner voice. "If my highest self could speak, what would she say?" and then imagining the wisest self advising. By removing outside opinions, societal expectations, and the influence of others, individuals can tap into their own inner knowing.

Tune in to discover how you can make decisions that align with your values and priorities and experience a greater sense of flow and fulfillment in life.

 

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Episode Breakdown:

01:09 Overriding that gut knowing

06:32 When intuition is nudging you

09:35 Getting off track

14:09 Listen to your body

19:29 The power of intuition

23:21 Following your inner compass

26:36 Intuition versus fear

33:32 What do I know deep down?

36:04 Elevating the quality of mindset

Quotes:

"Albert Einstein said, the intuitive mind is a sacred gift, and the reflective, rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift."

"Showing up and sharing and helping and serving and offering value is the greatest way to sell anything."

"They can be saying all of the right things, they can be smiling in your face, on paper they can look like the perfect person for you, but your gut is saying run."

"Learning to listen and decode your intuition is going to lead to a greater, more fulfilling life."

"Sometimes it's pursuing a career path, even though you feel it does not genuinely align with your interests, your soul, or your strengths."

"Intuition usually isn't panicked. It's just this very calm, gentle, subtle voice."

"But what I do know is that you know, and that answer is found within your body, not your mind, but within your body."

"Listening to your intuition requires space. It requires time to just be with yourself."

 

Useful Resources:

• Join the membership now: https://schoolofselfimage.com/join

• FREE download: https://schoolofselfimage.com/self-image-manifesto/
  
  

• Sign up for the weekly Edit: http://schoolofselfimage.com/edit
  
  

Connect with Master Self-Image Coach, Tonya Leigh:

• Website:  https://schoolofselfimage.com
  
  

• Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/tonyaleigh
  
  

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TonyaLeighOfficial
  
  

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetonyaleigh
  
  
  
  

 

 

Creating New Habits for a Transformed Life

Habits are the actions we engage in daily, often without conscious thought. They serve as the foundation of our lives and have a profound impact on our self-perception. Our habits reinforce how we view ourselves and shape our identity. 

As host, Master Self-Image Coach Tonya Leigh, reflects on the power of habits and how they shape our lives, she shares her personal journey of examining her habits.   This episode details the five habits that she wants to create in 2024. These habits include unplugging more from her cell phone and other devices, reading more books, journaling daily, drinking less alcohol, and committing to getting fit. Tonya discusses the importance of aligning our habits with our self-image and how changing our habits can lead to significant changes in our lives. She invites listeners to consider the habits they want to cultivate in order to create the life they truly desire.

Tune in to learn how small actions can have a big impact on your life in 2024 and beyond.

 

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Episode Breakdown:

01:22 Any moment is a chance to start again

02:41 Write a letter to 18-year-old you

05:09 Self-image habits

09:08 5 habits I want to be on autopilot

13:14 Habits that get you back in alignment

20:53 Unplugging and staying connected

24:47 The act of reading

27:20 The habit of journaling

31:40 Drinking less  as a habit

37:44 Aging powerfully

 

Quotes:

“If you want to see your life change, take a look at your habits."

“Think about all of it, and you get to make up this amazing story about 18-year-old you. But it's not just enough to use our imagination. Our imaginations need evidence to really root in that self-image.” 

“The things that we do day in and day out are literally the building blocks of our lives.”

“It's almost like I've gotten into this pattern of just enjoying, which is a beautiful thing, and riding the wave. But I miss that aliveness, that, oh my god, I just cannot wait to saunter into this day.”

“If I want to see myself as a royal being, which I think we all are, what do I want to say to myself? How do I want to treat myself? And so with those two questions, I came up with five habits that I am committed to creating this year and making them habits, making them just autopilot, just what I do.”

“I've noticed over the last month since I got that report, because I don't know why I haven't really been paying attention to the report, but we all need to look at that report and think about the number of hours a day you're spending on your phone and what else you could be doing with that time.”

“I want to be more active on Instagram this year. And that's the crux. That's the hard part is when you have a business that requires that you share your work and you put yourself out there, you have to find the balance between unplugging and plugging back in.” 

“Maybe we should try reading more. I want to get back into books. There is a world that exists within books that opens you up to new ideas, new perspectives, new artists, new lands, new stories.” 

"The work that needs to be done is around your self-image. When you change how you see yourself, you change what you do."

Useful Resources:

• Join now: https://schoolofselfimage.com/join

• FREE download: https://schoolofselfimage.com/self-image-manifesto/
  
  

• Sign up for the weekly Edit: http://schoolofselfimage.com/edit
  
  

Connect with Master Self-Image Coach, Tonya Leigh:

• Website:  https://schoolofselfimage.com
  
  

• Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/tonyaleigh
  
  

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TonyaLeighOfficial
  
  

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetonyaleigh
  
  
  
  

 

What is Tonya’s WOTY?  She has been selecting a word of the year for the past decade, finding it to be a transformative process. She firmly believes that merely setting goals and taking action is insufficient for creating lasting change. Instead, Tonya emphasizes the significance of personal growth and transformation in order to consistently approach things differently and achieve different outcomes. Having a word of the year serves as a guiding principle, providing direction and support.

However, Tonya faced difficulty in choosing a word of the year for 2024. Initially, she contemplated words like "power" and "integrity," but they didn't resonate with her. It was during a luncheon for the Good Friends organization that she witnessed a woman on stage who embodied qualities she deeply admired, such as power and integrity.

The word "royal" encapsulates the host's desired qualities of integrity, generosity, and elevating self-care. She explains that embodying royalty means radiating an energy filled with integrity, grace, compassion, and empathy. It entails adhering to moral principles and a code of ethics in both behavior and leadership. 

Tune in to discover how to aim toward treating yourself with the utmost care and refinement. 

 

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Episode Breakdown:

00:33 Choosing a word of the year

02:14 One of the biggest mistakes that we make

06:09 My word of the year for 2024 is royal

08:24 Seeing yourself as someone of status

09:28 Lead with integrity

13:12 What is ‘being royal’?

14:59 Being more generous in 2024

18:11 The Royal Treatment

19:39 My extraordinary goal

 

Quotes:

“My extraordinary goal this year is around leadership and my business and my team. I want to be a really royal leader.”

“I don't believe in giving when you're doing it to get rid of guilt or to, you know, impress other people. I think that is the energy in which a lot of people sometimes give and then they start to feel resentful and it doesn't feel good.”

“One of the traits that the woman who was on stage that revealed my word of the year to me showed me that I want more of this year is generosity.”

“We are going to make mistakes, we are going to get it wrong sometimes. But the biggest mistake is in pretending you didn't make one.”

“Because so often we discount ourselves, we shrink ourselves, we put ourselves down, we place other people above us.”

 

Useful Resources:

• Join now: https://schoolofselfimage.com/join

• FREE download: https://schoolofselfimage.com/self-image-manifesto/
  
  

• Sign up for the weekly Edit: http://schoolofselfimage.com/edit
  
  

Connect with Master Self-Image Coach, Tonya Leigh:

• Website:  https://schoolofselfimage.com
  
  

• Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/tonyaleigh
  
  

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TonyaLeighOfficial
  
  

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetonyaleigh