3:6 - Activate Courage | Anxiety I’m So Done with You!

The Teenage Brain: Understanding Anxiety and Depression in Teenagers, an Interview with Kasey Crist

Welcome to this BONUS episode: The Teenage Brain with Kasey Crist, author of a book by the same name ‘The Teenage Brain: Understanding Anxiety and Depression in Teenagers'. https://amzn.to/47rmS1V

It's a guide for parents, counselors, and teenagers, and it is so jam-packed with resources that you will need to get yourself a copy.

Kasey Crist is a mental health professional who serves students in a high school setting. This is a different kind of interview. Instead, we both shared our understanding and interpretations of what is going on with our young people.

In this episode, Kasey and I discussed

🐇her new book, 'The Teenage Brain’

📱the trends that worry us

🎨 the main skills we think know will help them get through this crazy time in our culture.

Resources discussed in this episode:

About Dr. Jodi Aman

Therapist | Author | Spiritual Mentor

Dr. Jodi Aman is a Leadership and Spiritual Coach who has spent 25 years as a trauma-informed psychotherapist. She earned a Doctorate in Social Work in ’23, focusing on Leadership, Social Justice, Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion. Social Work acknowledges the person in their environment and understands how humans react to situations. Work with Jodi.

"After 25 years of clinical experience, I feel deep resonance and empathy for the complexities of others’ pain and am compelled to stand against the context of injustice that causes it. Using this keen understanding of how and why people suffer, my unique and varied training, rooted ethics, as well as decades being a trauma-informed psychotherapist, I help sensitive souls release what they don’t want, recover their energetic bandwidth, and grok a socially conscious life of overflowing joy. More about me.”

Her doctorate thesis project addresses the current teen mental health crisis. She is designing a psychoeducational curriculum for improving teen mental health. This program, called COMPASS, will help young people navigate human emotions, giving them the information to understand what is happening and the tools to heal themselves and their communities. If you care about, work with, love, and/or are concerned for teenagers and are worried about the devastating mental health crisis too many of them are living through, you may be interested in my research and plans for this classroom-based, culturally-sensitive curriculum for high school health teachers to facilitate during their mental health units. Watch the video here.

Contact Doctor Jodi:

Keywords:

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A Teenage Brain Transcript:

Dr. Jodi: [00:00:00] Hey, this is Dr. Jodi from Anxiety... I'm So Done With You podcast. This podcast is a series that goes along with my book by the same name, 'Anxiety... I'm So Done With You'. It's a teen's guide to ditching toxic stress and hardwiring your brain for happiness. And that is what we're going to do. So this podcast goes section by section through the book giving more details and telling more stories. And even though we've completed an episode for every section of the book, this podcast is going to go on. I'll be interviewing teenagers, young adults, parents, and their helpers to give you more resources on your healing journey. In fact, we have a special episode for you today. I'm going to have a conversation with author and school therapist Kasey Crist. Kasey wrote 'The Teenage Brain: Understanding Anxiety and Depression in Teenagers'. It's a guide for parents, counselors, and teenagers, and it is so jam packed with resources that you are going to need to get yourself a copy. Hey, Kasey.

Kasey Crist: [00:01:07] Hi, Jodi.

Dr. Jodi: [00:01:09] First, congratulations on releasing this book. I know how big of an accomplishment that is, and I'm so happy for you.

Kasey Crist: [00:01:16] Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. It's been quite a journey.

Dr. Jodi: [00:01:20] Yeah, I bet, I bet. I know, I've been there. It's a topic, as you know, very dear and near to my heart. And I want you to go ahead and tell us a little bit about yourself and why you felt called to write a book on this topic.

Kasey Crist: [00:01:33] Sure. My background, I started out in early childhood, so I worked in the education system for many years, working in preschools, elementary schools, and I even owned my own child care center at one point. And one of the pivotal parts of the reason why I went into mental health, we had a lot of students, some that would require some mental health. They had some challenges or needed some behavioral health needs that they would often leave our program. And I was really curious about sort of the other side of that. And where did they go and what services did they get and what support did they need. And that really intrigued me enough to want to go back to school in the counseling psychology area, to really be part of that process. That was really interesting to me, and I'm so glad I did.

Dr. Jodi: [00:02:27] Yeah, yeah. Okay, so you're a therapist but located in a school. You've done that work.

Kasey Crist: [00:02:32] Yes, yes.

Dr. Jodi: [00:02:34] So help kids through their, whatever they're going through.

Kasey Crist: [00:02:37] Yes. Any mental health, behavioral challenges would work with students, hopefully their families or other supports that are outside of the school as well. I'm a big believer in that big cohort that really, you know, it takes a village to support that student, to get them to be successful in life and to navigate the challenges, especially in the times we live in now.

Dr. Jodi: [00:03:00] Yeah, I bet. I love that model, having mental health services in schools, that's a model that's kind of come around the last 10, 20 years. It's wonderful because they're there, you know, they spend the day there. There's more equity and equality when you have services like that in the school, because some kids don't have access, a lot of people don't have access. I did some of that work myself. Well, Kasey, there are so many topics that I want to bring up during our conversation. And I say conversation because this is less like an interview, of me interviewing you, and us talking because we do the same work. So this is very exciting for me because, you know, maybe we can have some topics that are we see similarly, maybe there's some topics we see a little differently, but we'd really be like unpacking this dire situation for young people. So let's first talk about why you see this problem increasing right now. Like do you think it's different than 10, 20 years ago? What do you think?

Kasey Crist: [00:04:03] Parts of it have always been there. I believe with social media and technology, the exposure to understanding that there's so many people who are teenagers, adolescents, even children who are struggling with this. I believe that teenagers that have cell phones and posting things, having access to social media, TikTok and all of that, that you can really see the wide scope of the need for services, how depression, anxiety is so prevalent. And I just think the access and understanding, I mean, you see famous people coming out and expressing that they may struggle with mental health, and maybe just a part of that is part of maybe other young people coming out and expressing that it's safe to say that they're struggling.

Dr. Jodi: [00:04:54] You're saying that with this new transparency that people are open about, they're more honest, instead of hiding their mental health issues, you feel like more people are now able to express it so we're seeing it more? That's part of it.

Kasey Crist: [00:05:10] Yes, I think it's it's kind of a double-edged sword because it's sort of the stigma around if I come out and say that I'm struggling with anxiety or depression or some other mental health crisis that exposes me, makes me vulnerable, and teenagers don't want to stand out. They don't want to, typically. But I think also it's generational because I believe teenagers, they see so much on social media and just throwing everything out there with not realizing the repercussions of what goes out there stays out there for eternity. And adults realize that if my child is posting things or, you know, on social media or even Facebook, it's out there, right? So and what does that mean? And what does that mean for our family? And what does that say about me as a parent? And so I think that it's a double-edged sword. I think the transparency is great, but sort of how do you capture that to be able to support that teenager once if they are saying that they need help?

Dr. Jodi: [00:06:18] You know, what I'm seeing that really worries me is that with this transparency and everybody, it's okay to be honest about your mental illness, there's also like a, you know, there's a sense that you're advocating for people with mental illness if you're saying this is what it is and there's a community and there's a relevance to it. So there's a couple problems. One is it creates like that you're relevant because you have this, but also it emphasizes a difference, because you're trying to say that, you know, don't make light of people with OCD because that's like diminishing people who really have a problem. So what they're doing instead of advocating is actually creating like an us versus them scenario on normalizing a lot of problems that really are pretty normal human reactions to our world. They're actually saying they're abnormal when they are not, they're regular human responses to our modern world. Trying to get control, feeling powerless, and having anxiety, that is a regular reaction to our world. And so when they're saying I have anxiety disorder and saying that I'm different, then they're actually believing that, you know, I mean, unfortunately, people like us, mental health professionals are actually supporting that narrative in a lot of ways. Some people have anxiety disorder and some people have regular worries, and it's entirely not helpful. What do you think?

Kasey Crist: [00:07:46] It's from my experience that when I meet with students or meet with teenagers, adolescents, even young adults, if they come forward and say that they have worries, and it's sort of understanding what those worries are and trying to navigate if it's a worry or is it anxiety and is it something that, you know, you can manage? And giving them skills on how to navigate that and manage it. But if it's something that doesn't go away, if it really interferes with your everyday life, that you cannot navigate and manage on your own, I think sometimes teenagers kind of test out, well, I think I have anxiety or I think I have this and really meeting them where they're at and whether that's a true narrative for them or that's just something that they heard on TikTok or saw someone talking about, I don't think you should ever just negate a statement that a teenager makes. I think that's where you pay attention.

Dr. Jodi: [00:08:50] Exactly. Yeah.

Kasey Crist: [00:08:51] Maybe not overreact, but really just be mindful of and pay attention to what they're saying.

Dr. Jodi: [00:08:59] Yeah I agree. You know, how they describe what they're experiencing is a description of their experience. And so I love that experience near a definition. And I always respond, you know, call it the same thing they've called it after that. So I totally agree with you. I guess the problem is, is like, how do we help them understand where that's coming from and if they can make a difference? Right? So if you say you it won't go away, like that, it hasn't gone away yet. But that doesn't mean it won't go away. Right? So you were even using that language - some people have worries and it's contextual. But I kind of, I might think a little bit differently, I'm not sure. Anxiety is always contextual in my mind. Depression is always contextual. And if we haven't gotten rid of it, it doesn't mean that we can't. It just means we haven't learned how yet, or we haven't figured out how yet, or we haven't understood where it's come from or something. Right? And without that hope that a difference can be made, you know, because most people believe they have these things and they just have to manage them and live with them forever, and then they keep them. And then people are like, I have this anxiety, but I got to get rid of it and I want to I'm going to do whatever I can to figure out how to get rid of it. They get rid of it. It's like that belief makes a huge difference.

Dr. Jodi: [00:10:23] And a lot of our culture and narratives are the narratives that it is something you have, and you either have to manage it, you know, if it doesn't go away, then it's, well, if it hasn't gone away yet, it's because maybe what they believe about it, how they think about anxiety, how they think about depression. And so that seems to be a really important thing for us, is to to spread that message is like, let's show them how to think about it so that they can get rid of it, you know. So yeah. So that's kind of been my message online.

Kasey Crist: [00:10:54] Yes. And working with younger children, I would often have them visualize like anxiety was like this monster in their belly or something as to not give it power because they need to figure out a way to kind of, you know, wrap that, they would give it a name and, you know, give them belly breathing when they were feeling anxious at school or, you know, at home or whatever scenario which really would spike their anxiety. And to really give the power back to them and to make them understand that this little ball of anxiety does not have control over them, and they have the control and they can decide what to do with it. You know, I really think that it's not that it's, with the worries - and I guess what I mean by that is like, you know, you have to take an exam in school and I think everyone gets a little bit of worry or anxiety around the exam, you want to do well. And I think that is good because your adrenaline's going and it makes you more aware and, you know, more focused. And I think a typical, if you have the skill set and understanding, then that would decrease. You take the exam, that anxiety and that worry goes away. But I think for some people they don't have the skills, I think that you mentioned, on how to mitigate that and how to learn how to work around the anxiety and the worry, I guess.

Dr. Jodi: [00:12:28] So they don't have the skills, but also there's an element of they don't believe even if they had the skill. So either they might have the skills, but they just don't believe they can and so they don't have access to them.

Kasey Crist: [00:12:38] Correct.

Dr. Jodi: [00:12:39] Or they don't have the skills, but they believe that they can and they look for the skills and do it. So there's, you know, there's an element of belief or the way they're thinking about their anxiety and that relationship. I love that you brought up personified anxiety because I am a narrative therapist. So, you know, I've been externalizing problems for a long time in using language to help somebody take, because anxiety is one kind of problem that just latches onto your identity. You have a whole chapter of identity as well on here, but, you know, our problems latch on. So it's like I am anxious, I am a problem, I am worthless, right? It becomes part of our very identity, which is a huge issue. And once we start talking about it as a separate entity, then we could change our relationship with it. And you're right, it changes the power dynamics because when it's part of us, we'd be fighting ourselves. And we're looking for, is there some good to it or, you know, why do I have it? Why am I different? And we get so lost in the why that we don't have any energy to get ourself better because we're lost trying to solve the why, which is an unsolvable mode a lot of times, isn't it? So I love that you brought up that personified anxiety. I just uploaded last week, I had some teenagers interview anxiety, a character of anxiety about like what it's up to in teenage kids' lives. And so it's a really fun activity that I'm doing in my school program to help them really think about anxiety in a different way. It is not me. It is something that influences me and that changes the power dynamic, because then we could change our relationship with it or out trick it or whatever we have to do to grab our power back. So I'm really glad that you brought that up, yeah.

Kasey Crist: [00:14:26] Yeah, yeah. I think another piece, too, for teenagers, with the social media, as we discussed, can be helpful being exposed to famous people who have more influence and, you know, saying that they have anxiety or depression. But I think social media also can be a negative. And I think the comparison and everyone posts their best version and shiniest of themselves. Right? And lives are so happy and teenagers are so impressionable. What the expectation of what they should be doing or what they look like or, you know, these incredible challenges that are, you know, deadly that they think are real and understanding reality as opposed to Photoshop. And, you know, it's just...

Dr. Jodi: [00:15:16] It's all these filters too, like the filters really. You know, and you could even know that it's a filter, but it's still, it still affects, right? We're still like comparing our backstage mess to somebody's highlight reel.

Kasey Crist: [00:15:30] Yes, yes, I like that. Backstage mess. Yeah.

Dr. Jodi: [00:15:34] Yeah. We're like, I'm a mess. Yeah. But the other people are a mess, too, you just don't see that. We're all a mess, you know, like we've all grown up in this culture which has these high expectations. So we're all feeling not good enough, not smart enough, not cool enough, not skinny enough. We're all feeling it. But everyone looks like they're fine, right? And you're the only one who's different. Hugely devastating on the soul, isn't it?

Kasey Crist: [00:15:58] And I think this generation, they are the ones that are exposed to it the most. And they just, they don't know anything else. So it's, they've grown up with the cell phone, they've grown up on computers. They just don't know anything other than having no privacy. I mean, they don't have privacy. And I just, I don't know, I look back and I'm grateful we didn't have cell phones back when I was growing up. You know, it's just.

Dr. Jodi: [00:16:26] Yeah, I guess they define this generation, generation Z with they had smartphones or like, phones connected to the internet from middle school. That's what makes them different than the millennials before them. And there's a difference in what we're seeing. And it's not like no adults have anxiety and depression because for sure they do. And they're affected by the social media too. Like we're all comparing ourselves to everybody else as well and struggling with these because we had these Western high expectations before. Now they're just like ten times because they're in our face all day, the ability to compare. When we were young, we had these high expectations, but it was like at least you were in real life dealing with it. My TedX talk, I talked about the three messages that people get online that makes them feel powerless, worthless, and out of control. We're on screens all day long, and the statistics show that the more teenagers are on screens, the more they're at risk of suicide. And that's so scary. And we really have to do something about that. And it's, you know, it might not be take their screens away, like it's not going to happen. Right? But there's all of these messages constantly. Yeah, there's funny stuff you're watching. And some people say nice things about you. And so there's some positive, but there's constant messages that, you know, everybody's better than you, like that comparison, or trauma happens randomly and out of control and you should just get stuff. So then there's the commercialism that's really messing with our sense of worth. So kids are just every day, all day, feeling powerless, worthless and out of control. Like, how do we as adults, as helpers and as parents, counter some of that?

Kasey Crist: [00:18:13] It's a good question. I think it's an ongoing open question, and I think we just have to keep plugging away and trying to find resources. I think now, again, especially if I could go back when with Covid, you know, the pandemic and teenagers are all about their friends. They need that connection. It is their world. And that completely shut down. It just changed their whole experience of being a teenager, you know, staying at home and not being able to engage and that's what they thrive on. So I think that's where computers and, you know, their phones really were still able to connect them to their friends, which that was the best that we could do at the time. And we all did the best that we could do in trying to navigate a world pandemic. We all thought it was two week shelter in place and we'll be fine. And you know, what, two years later, over two years? I mean, we still have repercussions from it. So I think it's a really good question that you pose. And I think as, again, I'll say it again, I think as parents, family, supports with the school, being communicative. And sort of parents can't be afraid to ask questions. And I think parents sometimes think that they are supposed to know when their child may be struggling, where the school may be the first line of maybe recognizing symptoms of anxiety, depression in the student and then in their child and bringing that home. And again, I think it's that communication and working together to support that teenager is just so vital.

Dr. Jodi: [00:20:09] Kasey, you have a whole chapter, I love this, because people have been asking - my whole career, people are asking this question - and you have a whole chapter on communicating with your teenager when they're struggling. What are some of the top tips in that chapter?

Kasey Crist: [00:20:27] It's not easy. And especially, I mean in everyday life talking to a teenager, you get your grunts and your, you know, one word or roll of the eyes and you have to just take it, right? So I often would tell parents, it's sort of you have to have a poker face no matter what the reaction. You can't let them see you react because one, I didn't put this in the book, but I often will say teenagers are very much like toddlers, except toddlers want your attention and they want you, but then they may have a temper tantrum, whereas teenagers, they want your attention, but they may just ignore you. But it's still, they still want your attention. So it's sort of this interesting process. But to communicate a tough topic such as if you're, you know, concerned about their mental health, you're not going to jump in because they will shut down. And I know people will often, you know, be driving in the car so the child is trapped in the car and they can't go anywhere and you think that's the best way to keep them contained. It may work for some, but oftentimes they'll just shut down because they don't want to engage. They have no place to escape to. You really need to start out with a question that could be, like, so random about their sports or something that you've seen on TV or a show they just watched.

Dr. Jodi: [00:21:54] Like warm them up a little bit, like something easy?

Kasey Crist: [00:21:57] Yeah, something easy. Yep. You could bring up the topic around, something around - if it's something specific, say anxiety - you could bring something up around that, but it's not specific about them. I would not recommend just a yes or no question, an open ended question, and just sort of let it hang and just almost like you say it and you, you're there, you're being supportive. If they say anything, if they don't say anything, you don't react because you want to keep that line of communication open. So when you sort of do build up and then have those more difficult conversations, they may be more apt to be open. And, yeah. And it's so hard because it's... and then the other part is, you know, your child does turn around and say something about how they're feeling. And parents are so worried or afraid like, my gosh, what are they going to say? And then what am I going to say? And you just have to try to let it happen organically, as opposed to worrying about what your response is before you even know what they're going to say.

Dr. Jodi: [00:23:03] I think that's a good point, right? Listen, don't think of your next response. Just listen. You'll figure out your response after.

Kasey Crist: [00:23:12] Meet them where they're at, meet them where they're at, and just support them.

Dr. Jodi: [00:23:18] I think a lot of times that happens with us in listening is that we're so ready to fix or what we're going to respond, and that distracts us and we forget to really listen to what somebody is saying, because sometimes they talk and they're on a journey, they tell, you know, their fears of what's going on, and then sometimes they come and start telling you their plan or their thoughts about it, and you miss that if you stop them and try to fix it. Right? So I think that's really crucial. One thing that I like to tell parents is, tell your kids, We're not going to leave you here. If your kids are struggling, make sure you say, we're not going to leave you here. We're going to do what we need to do to get you out of this place. And it is possible. And so I tell all the teens I start working with that. And also, if I'm giving advice to parents, I'm like, tell them that and don't stop until you get them out of there because they have to believe that they could get better or they're not going to get better. So that's really crucial. And the other thing that I tell parents is like, keep up on stuff. Like, if you are talking to your kids every day about their friends, when they come home, they update you, they'll update you.

Dr. Jodi: [00:24:29] But if you haven't really been talking to them about a scenario that's going on or their friends or something that's happening, they don't want to bother like giving you the whole detail, the whole story from the beginning. But it's easy to just keep updating you. So I mean, if you don't have that ongoing conversation, you got to start somewhere, of course. But if you have it, keep it going, because then you're going to be in a front row seat to whatever they're going through. And that's going to be really important because you want to see if there's something dangerous, if there's something you want to worry about, you want to have that front row seat to that. And so I hear a lot of parents like, I don't even want to know. Yes you do. Yes you want to know. You want that front row seat to what they're going through so that you could intervene if there's something that's a problem, you know, you could help them out. People don't do stuff alone. It's like there's a difference between helicopter parents doing your kids, like, homework for them, and letting your kids know that they're not alone and you're not going to abandon them in their darkest hour. You're going to, all they need is your presence. They don't need you to do it for them. They need your presence and to believe in them. Believe that they can and then also help brainstorm.

Dr. Jodi: [00:25:41] I really have a passion for helping parents. I'm a parent of three teenagers, well they're getting older now, so I have a passion because it's so hard on us. When our kids are struggling we blame ourselves so much. And so I really have this passion, so I'm going for it. But, yeah.

Kasey Crist: [00:26:04] I think it's so important that, parents, that you have to get take yourself off the hook like it's impossible to know everything. It's impossible. Although I, you know, I have friends that have teenage children and I swear they do have eyes in the back of their head as parents, but it's impossible to be everywhere.

Dr. Jodi: [00:26:27] Your book, though, gives so many resources, so it's very comprehensive.

Kasey Crist: [00:26:34] Thank you. Yeah. No, it's really important to have all different sorts of mediums. So if teenagers are more apt to go online to get help, if they're more apt to go to the school counselor, talk to their parents, if outside support, if they have someone they can talk to like therapist or, you know, their primary doctor who could refer them out. In this day and age, there's an abundance of resources for every comfort level.

Dr. Jodi: [00:27:02] Yeah. And also even, you know, yeah, there's mental health resources and those kind of things. There's me on YouTube, there's places that, you know, but there's also, it's also getting involved in some activities, like getting a sense of belonging because you're part of a club and you're doing something and you have friends, like that is huge for our mental health and helping us move forward. So sometimes the plan is not just to go to a counselor. The plan might be to join a club, or the plan might be to try something different or learn something new or have, you know, so I think that's interesting to people as well. I think it's important for us to know that the reason why so many people are struggling, because it is a regular human reaction to our world, but we don't have to stay here. So I think that's incredibly helpful because people think that they are different.

Kasey Crist: [00:28:02] Absolutely. And as you know, I mean, humans are meant to connect. That's what we are, what drives us. Whether you're an introvert or an extrovert, we all need that human connection in some way. And, you know, you bring up a good point about, you know, joining clubs or sports or trying something new or, you know, an after school program that is something or volunteering. It's just having that connection and belonging. And I think helping teenagers figure out what that is for them, as opposed to just being online and gaming or, having that real connection.

Dr. Jodi: [00:28:40] Yeah, I think it does, it does separate. Screens really have a tendency to decrease our in-person time with people. And I think that's having negative consequences as we're talking about, of course. So good point there. One more thing I thought would be good to share that I read in the book. There's a couple of them, but... The importance of, because we're talking about parents and talking to your teens, you were talking about the importance of validating. Could you tell us a little bit more about like, how are you? How do people be validating with other people? And what does that do for somebody?

Kasey Crist: [00:29:21] Validating, I mean, with teenagers, I think it's really listening, active listening, being present. You're not on your phone, you're not cooking dinner, and they're trying to share something with you. Validating one's feelings, meeting them where they're at. Not having, I think you brought up not trying to solve the problem, but validating what they're saying in the moment, just being present, meeting them where they're at, acknowledging their feelings and supporting them. So whether you agree or not, as long as it's not something that has to do with safety or risk, but if it's they're navigating a problem or a situation or, that's a typical teenage issue, perhaps, that you're just validating them. And I think it's important because you want to give them the skills to maybe vent and then maybe be able to process and figure out what they need to do. If they're looking for your opinion or solution, I mean, obviously that's where you may insert that, you know.

Dr. Jodi: [00:30:24] What does it feel like for them to when they're validated as opposed to not being validated? Like what does that do to the teenager, do you think?

Kasey Crist: [00:30:32] I often would tell my teens that I worked with, even in my private practice, that they're in this space where they're too young to be a complete adult, you know, complete autonomy, making their own decisions. But they're too old to be a little kid and, you know, walked around, you know, holding hands and wherever they need to go, they're in this place where they need to figure out and decision making. They're going to make mistakes. But meeting them where they're at and validating, and I think if you give them the space, it gives them the self esteem and the independence to try to make these decisions because they want the autonomy and you're giving them the space to do that, but you're still validating whatever it is that they're bringing to you. And I think it--.

Dr. Jodi: [00:31:22] -- it sounds like it decreases their negative self judgment.

Kasey Crist: [00:31:26] Absolutely.

Dr. Jodi: [00:31:26] You feel like more, I guess the word valid, like they feel worthy.

Kasey Crist: [00:31:31] And again, it's connection. And I think if you don't have your teenager, you know, coming to you and bringing issues to you, or it could be little things, I mean, it's to them, it could be a big thing. But in your head you may be like, oh my gosh, this is like, come on, this is what we're dealing with? But in that moment for them, it could be a big issue. And meeting them where they're at, it gives them the, you know, the strength and being able to navigate it and like, wow, okay, I can do this.

Dr. Jodi: [00:32:02] And not to feel alone. Right?

Kasey Crist: [00:32:05] Yes. Absolutely.

Dr. Jodi: [00:32:07] Yeah. Cool. Now the book is for counselors, it's for parents, and it's for teenagers themselves. What is your favorite thing that you're sharing that, you know, makes a huge difference because you've seen it in your practice? Sorry. That's hard. I didn't prep you for that question.

Kasey Crist: [00:32:25] Yeah. I think it's just I've had, I've worked with a lot of families and parents that it's such a scary topic around anxiety and depression that they, like I think you referenced, I don't want to know, but I this is the information that makes it a little less scary. And to understand, I think, have a better sense of what it's all about. And I think everyone would be able to take something away from this book that may be helpful.

Dr. Jodi: [00:32:59] For a lot of things.

Kasey Crist: [00:33:01] For a lot of things. There's resources in the back. But even if you adjust one of these things, or letting parents know that there are resources out there that they can go to to get the support. And I think that's the takeaway, because I think fear is isolating.

Dr. Jodi: [00:33:18] I mean, it's isolating for teenagers, it's isolating for parents, and it's isolating for counselors too.

Kasey Crist: [00:33:25] It is. Yes. Agreed.

Dr. Jodi: [00:33:27] So like what do I do? I'm at the limit of my skills. Like, I'm an imposter. I don't know how to help these kids, you know, or something like. That's hard.

Kasey Crist: [00:33:35] Yeah, it is hard. It's very hard.

Dr. Jodi: [00:33:38] To be doing the work and like, seeing people suffer and...

Kasey Crist: [00:33:42] Yeah. No, it's, being a counselor is a tough job because you are in the inside of the inner workings of of someone's struggles.

Dr. Jodi: [00:33:52] They invite you in, right? They invite you into their vulnerability. And yes, it's really, really hard. I love every minute of it. And, you know, before we started recording, you said the same thing. You're so glad at this path that you've taken, because we are making a difference. And sometimes it's, with some people slower than other people, but that doesn't mean they can't. We just have to work harder at believing, at helping them, convincing them that they can get better, that this is not a life sentence, that they don't have to stay there. You can get my book, 'Anxiety... I'm So Done With You'. You can listen to the rest of this podcast. You can get Kasey's book, 'A Teenage Brain'. And there's videos all over the place to help you get better. And so never give up that this is just how you are and you have to stay like this. Or that you have to, you know, that you have to grieve a fun or happy life because you deserve a fun and happy life. Don't they?

Kasey Crist: [00:34:52] Absolutely, absolutely. Thank you so much for having me on here today.

Dr. Jodi: [00:34:56] Yeah. That's awesome. So 'A Teenage Brain' by Kasey Crist. I'll put the link down below this video, this podcast or this blog, wherever you're seeing this or hearing this. And you could get yourself a copy of 'A Teenage Brain'.

Kasey Crist: [00:35:12] It's on Amazon. You can get it today!

Dr. Jodi: [00:35:15] Get it today. All right. Thanks so much. We'll see you next time.

Kasey Crist: [00:35:19] Thank you.

Dr. Jodi: [00:35:21] I so appreciate your attention, your sharing, your commenting on my blog posts, and especially being so generous with those five stars on Apple Podcasts. In this episode, I talked to Kasey Crist about her new book, 'The Teenage Brain'. We discuss what we're seeing among teenagers and the main things that we think will help them get through this crazy time in our culture. Grab a copy of your book and keep practicing. And remember to hang out with me on YouTube and TikTok at Dr. Jodi, where I give more practical tips for your brain, body, and spirit. See you next episode! And until then, let that you that you want to be shine through.

Anxiety I’m So Done with You!

en-usNovember 20, 2023

5:7 - Prioritize Creativity

Welcome to Episode 7: Prioritize Creativity

This is the last episode that goes along with the book, as it is the last section of the book. We are on Chapter 5, Section 7: Prioritize Creativity.

Never fear! I'm not going anywhere. After a short break this summer, I'll continue recording podcast episodes with tips to help you along your healing journey. I also plan to interview experts on practical steps to help you get rid of anxiety, negative thinking, low self-confidence, depression, and more. In this episode, I

🐇explain why creativity is on this list of happiness habits

🎨 share how important it is

🥘 discuss how creativity pursuits encapsulate all other tips already shared in this book

📝 list reasons why creativity benefits you

🪴give examples of creative activities from my life (That'll be a long list, and it's not near complete because there are unlimited ways to engage in creativity. This episode will inspire you to get your hands dirty in some creative endeavor. And doing so will make you happier, more confident, healthier, and more connected to yourself and your loved ones. Enjoy!

"When you robust-ify your mammalian brain, it'll be more available for you when you need it. Your brain is like a muscle. Keep it strong by practicing, adapting, building skills, having a growth mindset, expanding what you can do, and trying hard things. That'll contribute to a happier life. You'll feel more comfortable and confident and have less anxiety and depression. And you'll need fewer vices, too. When we're upset, we all too often turn to things to make us feel better that make us feel more out of control, like addiction, violence, eating problems, and dangerous behavior, to name a few. You won't need to do that when you robust-ify that mammalian brain." - Dr. Jodi Aman

Resources discussed in this episode:

About Dr. Jodi Aman

Therapist | Author | Spiritual Mentor

Dr. Jodi Aman is a Leadership and Spiritual Coach who has spent 25 years as a trauma-informed psychotherapist. She earned a Doctorate in Social Work in ’23, focusing on Leadership, Social Justice, Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion. Social Work acknowledges the person in their environment and understands how humans react to situations. Work with Jodi.

"After 25 years of clinical experience, I feel deep resonance and empathy for the complexities of others’ pain and am compelled to stand against the context of injustice that causes it. Using this keen understanding of how and why people suffer, my unique and varied training, rooted ethics, as well as decades being a trauma-informed psychotherapist, I help sensitive souls release what they don’t want, recover their energetic bandwidth, and grok a socially conscious life of overflowing joy. More about me.”

Her doctorate thesis project addresses the current teen mental health crisis. She is designing a psychoeducational curriculum for improving teen mental health. This program, called COMPASS, will help young people navigate human emotions, giving them the information to understand what is happening and the tools to heal themselves and their communities. If you care about, work with, love, and/or are concerned for teenagers and are worried about the devastating mental health crisis too many of them are living through, you may be interested in my research and plans for this classroom-based, culturally-sensitive curriculum for high school health teachers to facilitate during their mental health units. Watch the video here.

Contact Doctor Jodi:

Keywords:

Dr. Jodi Aman, doctor jodi, doctorjodi, doctorjodiaman, Anxiety I’m So Done With You, anxiety, depression, author, teenager, teen, therapy, anxiety lies, mental health, letting go, let go, embrace letting go, forgive, forgiveness, judgment, self judgment, self-compassion, self-blame, intention setting, set intentions, forgiving, good person, self-confidence, restore relationships, compassion, negative feelings, trauma, PTSD, emotional wellness, PMA, positive mental attitude, good attitude, positive outlook, positive thinking, optimism, self harm, suicide, suicide prevention, self harm alternatives, compassion, self-compassion, healing yourself, loving yourself, relationships, rejection, good relationships, heathy relationships, space, clutter, declutter, clear your space, clear your clutter, home, safety, sanctuary, food, eating, eating disorder, healthy eating, diet, no diet, relationship with food, nourishment, listen to your body, rest, restoration, sleep, sleep hygiene, sleep schedule, how to fall asleep, insomnia, sleep routine, being creative, creative, crafts, organizing, mammalian brain, prefrontal cortex,

Season 5 Episode 7 - Prioritize Creativity transcript

Hey, you're here with Dr. Jodi, and this is Hey, you're here with Dr. Jodi, and this is Season 5 of the the "Anxiety, I'm So Done With You" podcast. This podcast is a teen and young adult guide to Ditching Toxic Stress and Hardwiring Your Brain for Happiness. If you're new here, grab a copy of my book, Anxiety, I'm So Done With You! because this series is going section by section through it, going a little bit deeper, giving more examples, and telling more stories. This season follows Chapter 5, "Self-Care is the New Health Care." This book promises to 'hardwire your brain for happiness.' This season I deliver on that promise. We focus on seven essential happiness-generating habits, contexts, activities, and practices for you to incorporate into your life to stay healthy, positive, and resilient to whatever life throws your way.

There's a myth at play if you've been feeling bad for a long time. You might think that happy people are lucky and that you are not; that you are different. While context matters to your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health, your context is only partially determined by privilege, genetic expression, and random luck. The rest is determined by you. In this season, I show you how to harness that "you percent," decolonize your self-care, and let your highest potential shine through all of the gook in your life.

Thank you for listening, subscribing, and leaving me five stars on Apple Podcasts. Also, come hang out with me on YouTube and TikTok @DOCTORJODI where I give you practical tips for your brain, body, and spirit. Please spread the word about this book and series because mental health problems are skyrocketing, and I need you to help me turn the tide.

Welcome to Episode 7: Prioritize Creativity

This is the last episode that goes along with the book, as it is the last section of the book. We are on Chapter 5, Section 7: Prioritize Creativity.

Never fear! I'm not going anywhere. After a short break this summer, I'll continue recording podcast episodes with tips to help you along your healing journey. I also plan to interview experts on practical steps to help you get rid of anxiety, negative thinking, low self-confidence, depression, and more. In this episode, I

🐇explain why creativity is on this list of happiness habits

🎨 share how important it is

🥘 discuss how creativity pursuits encapsulate all other tips already shared in this book

📝 list reasons why creativity benefits you

🪴give examples of creative activities from my life (That'll be a long list, and it's not near complete because there are unlimited ways to engage in creativity. But before we start, I just wanted to check in with you to see how you're doing.

How is your anxiety? I hope it is less, and you are still listening to this podcast for these happiness habits. (Obviously, if you hear me saying these words, you are still listening!)

I'm curious about what makes people listen after they're feeling better. I hope you see value for you, knowing that because I helped you feel better, my happiness habits are on par. They are! They are from 25 years of working with people. And they work!

This is the thing: Even when your anxiety is gone, or if it is much decreased, or if your depression is better, you still need to work at maintaining happiness. People don't get better, and then that's it; they stay better forever. They have to continue each and every day generating their wellness, to keep things in their life that help sustain that wellness. And they need to continue to remove things that harm.

This is the thing: We're living in this world where bad things happen all the time. There are negative energies out there, you might get picked on, or people are mean to you. You don't clear yourself and you're clean and now you could go on to life, and it's better now. No, we are always processing back out, what we have taken in that doesn't serve us.

Hopefully, you can prevent some of the things you don't want from coming all the way in. Here's a way to think about it. If you tasted something new and weren't sure how it would taste, you just took a little bit on your tongue. If you didn't like it, you'd spit it out. If it was gross or you didn't like it at all, you'd think, "Ugh!" and spit it out, not even taking it into your whole body and system. That's what would be great if you did that because it is easier not to have to get rid of it. Sometimes people are mean and we don't even want to take that past our outer energy limit. We could say, Is this for me? No, I'm not taking it into my heart.

However, many experiences, especially intense ones, are overwhelming and affect us, so we have to learn how to release them.

Okay, that's a little tangent there. But it came to me in this conversation about this Happiness Formula: Get rid of things that make you suffer. And those are constantly coming. We have to constantly clear them out! Then, bring into your life what makes you happy, what brings you joy. And then, practice every day.

So you're never done; you have to keep practicing. Not being done doesn't mean something's wrong with you. None of us are done. We will always continue to grow, and expand our knowledge, consciousness, skills, and ideas. When we stop developing, we feel stagnant. And that doesn't feel very good.

Humans are made for this expansion and development. We were made to grow, learn, adapt, be creative, and figure things out. Our brain biologically was made to do that. So that feels really good. Even when it's a challenge, it feels good. Even when you're being creative and you're trying to figure something out and it's hard, or heavy and you want to know how to lift it, and you're trying to figure out how to lift it––when you're solving problems like that, it feels good because we're made to face challenges like that.

Will Smith tells a story about building a wall with his brother. His father made him and his brother build a wall when he was young. And it's a great illustration of this point. Having a challenge and figuring it out and having to learn how to do it and decide what to do and make those decisions is so valuable. Unfortunately, due to modern conveniences, young people don't have that opportunity as much as they had in other generations, even my generation. And I'm over 50. Even in my generation, we've had so many modern conveniences; I haven't done really heavy chores. I've never built a wall, for example.

So what's creativity doing on this list?

All right, let's get into this episode. In the 5th chapter of the book, we are prioritizing happiness habits. I encourage you to prioritize relationships, surroundings, movement, nourishment, rest, purpose, and now, creativity. So what's creativity doing on this list? Creativity and imagination exercise the mammalian brain. You want your mammalian brain to be powerful and robust because it's our best friend in overriding anything that doesn't serve us. That fight or flight reaction is the sympathetic nervous system reaction. Sometimes it triggers when we are not literally in physical danger, so we don't need it.

We don't want to get rid of the sympathetic nervous system altogether. When we need it to survive, we want it online. So we're not trying to get rid of that. When it gets triggered, yet we discern that we don't need it, we need the mammalian brain to override it so we don't get lost in the anxiety.

Remember what I said at the beginning of this series? Anxiety is a leftover fear response when you're not in physical danger. We want that fear response online, but we don't want that leftover fear response when we've decided we're not in danger. Your mammalian brain can say, "Okay, everything looks okay. We don't need you. Thank you so much, amygdala, but we don't need you right now."

When you robustify your mammalian brain, it'll be more available for you when you need it. Your brain is like a muscle. Keep it strong by practicing, adapting, building skills, having a growth mindset, expanding what you can do, and trying hard things. That'll contribute to a happier life. You'll feel more comfortable and confident and have less anxiety and depression.

And you'll need fewer vices, too. When we're upset, we all too often turn to things to make us feel better that make us feel more out of control, like addiction, violence, eating problems, and dangerous behavior, to name a few. You won't need to do that when you robust-ify that mammalian brain.

Instead, turn to activities that make you feel better and stay better, like creative activities. Everything episode in this season talks about actions you can turn to when you need help. When going through a hard time, you can turn to relationships, rest, movement, comfortable and beautiful surroundings, nourishing your body, purposeful acts, to give some meaning, and creative endeavors. (Creativity is included in all of those if you think about it.)

The human brain was made to problem solve.

Solving problems keeps us growing mentally and emotionally strong. Creativity is another way to say problem-solving. When you're designing something, you're making decisions all the time. Like, How am I going to do this so it works this way? You're problem-solving. You didn't have an answer, and you have to get the answer.

For example, if you were woodworking and were going to make a box, you would have to figure out if it'll have a lid. You'd have to decide if the lid is just going to sit on there or if it will be hinged so it opens and closes. Will it lock? If there are hinges, will they be on the inside or on the outside and part of the design? You need to decide what color and how big it will be. All of those things are problem-solving. You begin without an answer; then, you have to think about all the options and decide.

Problem-solving is asking: How can I do this? Or, how else can I do this? You are essentially brainstorming, thinking about how many different ways you could do something. Brainstorming is what helps your prefrontal cortex develop.

I love brainstorming.

Brainstorming is underrated. People rarely consider how powerfully helpful it is and how good it is for our emotional well-being and for relationships. Sometimes parents lecture their kids, or they give advice when they haven't been asked for advice. It could be more helpful if they offered to have a brainstorming session together. The two of you can go over the scenario and list a bunch of different responses. Then, you'd discuss the possibility of those responses, giving you conscious time and information to choose a path forward. Also, it teaches you what to do the next time you are in a predicament.

Brainstorming is excellent. Rather than giving unsolicited advice, which can come across as judgmental, it's co-creating options. This is the same skill that we use when we're making meaning. When something we never experienced happens to us, we immediately start to make meaning because we want to make sense of it. We want order, and that comes from understanding it. And we make meaning according to things that have happened to us in the past or beliefs that we have. If you have negative thoughts about yourself, you could take that someone didn't text you back as they don't like you. You make meaning according to what you believe or experiences that you've had in the past.

When an event happens, there are many different ways you can think about what happened. So if someone doesn't text you back, they could

have gotten their phone taken away,

been in the shower,

had a meeting,

written their text in the text window and forgot to push send,

they're burnt out, exhausted, or withdrawing from social situations,

they thought they'd get some information before they texted back, and maybe they forgot for a little while.

There are so many reasons why people don't text back right away. Their not liking you is only one of many, many possible reasons. When you build your skills in brainstorming, it could help you think of all those reasons and then not just conclude that they must be that they hate you. So creativity is you figuring out an answer to what you want to do.

t could be gardening, crafting, painting, painting and decorating a room or painting a scene on paper. There are tons of mediums that you could use in your art.

Organizing, like organizing a closet, is being creative. You have to decide where everything goes and how to make it more organized. Making videos, writing, writing stories or poems, photography, decorating cakes or baking, selling things, cleaning, learning something, sculpting, planning parties, acting, dancing, giving gifts, woodworking, as I said, model building, drone flying, and even sports are creative. You're problem-solving the best decisions at the moment. There are unlimited ways that you could be creative in the world.

Benefits of Creativity

So let's look at the benefits of creativity. Creativity

strengthens the mind

helps you learn, expand, and grow

encourages a growth mindset

connects you with others (especially when you give things that you make to them)

makes you feel appreciated

reflects off who you are back to you

enhances your relationship with yourself and your sense of yourself

gives you a purpose

feeds your soul because it is what we want to do to survive

Creativity fulfills the brain, which is made to do this. When we are creative, our soul feels like we're doing what we're supposed to do. That goes along with your purpose. It builds confidence because you start to see yourself as skilled and able to figure out complex things, find the loophole or the unique thing that no one else has seen before, and create something unique.

It makes you feel good about yourself. It's fun to find that piece that you've been looking for in an antique shop and then make it what you want to make it. You feel productive when you're creative. And then, as a result, you have cool things that you've made, really cool experiences that you've had. There are endless, endless, endless benefits here.

You crave creativity. You crave it. It's the most natural thing. So again, challenging tasks charge us up because we are built for them. Not big problems, not injustices, betrayals, or devasting events. We're not made to do that. We have the skills to handle them when they come to us because this world is unfair, and these things happen. We don't want them to happen. They don't happen for a reason, but bad things happen, and we can decide how to go forward after those things happen.

We are almost done

I'm sad. I'm sad that this part of the series is over, but I feel confident that you have everything that you need to create the life that you want to create. And now you just have to practice. But listen, if you're still feeling bad, if you still have some anxiety and depression, guess what? You're human. You may still have a little bit. There's going to be some bad days and some good days. I don't want you to suffer, though; if you have anxiety to the level you're suffering, we can eliminate that, too. You don't have to stay here.

Why do you still have anxiety?

It might be that you're still afraid of it. Some people have gone through my five steps to healing anxiety, and yet, they still have a little bit of anxiety left. At those times, I notice it is most often because they're upset about that little bit of anxiety. So if you got rid of 90% of your anxiety and you still have 10% left, but it bothers you. If you are like, "No, I don't want to have any; I don't want it." That's probably why you still have it. That little bit of upsetness is what is keeping it. Get rid of that by being comfortable with yourself having anxiety. If you are 100% comfortable with yourself having anxiety, then and only then will you let it go and you won't have it any longer.

One more thing.

If anxiety comes back, don't say, "Oh no, I didn't really get rid of it, I can't believe it came back. This is going to be awful. I'm going to be suffering for months and months." Don't say that! If anxiety comes back, know what caused it. I've taught you that. Expect that anxiety is going to come back sometimes because we still have the sympathetic nervous system.

So there will be stress and situations and perfect storms where you might feel anxiety one day, and it could bring terror to you that it's coming back, but that fear will only perpetuate it. If you expected it and you say, "Oh, I get it, I'm hungry, it's really hot today, I'm away from home for the whole day at this sporting event, and I understand why it's happening, it'll be gone by tomorrow." It will be gone by tomorrow.

If you knew what it was and you said, "Wow, my adrenaline is up, I'm going to eat something good, I'm going to go to sleep tonight, I'm going to be fine tomorrow," it will not mess up your life for months and months and months. It will only be today, and that's it.

But if you had anxiety in that kind of situation and you were like, "Oh my gosh, that's it, I didn't do it, the book didn't help me, the podcast didn't help me, and now I'm going to suffer for a really long time and my whole life I'm going to have anxiety." What's going to happen? You're going to have it for a lot longer. Use this podcast and book as touchstones to reset you into your confidence again in case anxiety comes back. Remember, if you got rid of it before you can again. When you're not afraid of it at all, it won't last more than that day.

How are you doing? Are you ready for this? Are you ready for this life? It could be amazing. You could bring joy into your life. You could bring good people into your life.

Yes, there'll be bumpy and hard days, but you can go through them. I so appreciate your attention, your sharing, your commenting on my blog posts, and especially, as you know, I need those five stars on Apple Podcasts. In this episode, we discussed creativity and talked about why it is essential to your happiness. We brainstormed ways that you could be creative and listed some of the benefits of creativity. Not all of them, because we'd be here all day, but we listed some of those benefits to you, your family, your friends, your community, and the entire world.

This has been such a sweet journey that you and I have had together. Life is a journey of sustaining your wellness. You're not different. Happy people generate happiness, and you could do that, too. I know there are injustices, and we must commit to doing something about them. But in the meantime, keep working on finding your abilities within the limits so that you can expand those limits and feel free to spite them. Keep practicing, and remember to hang out with me on YouTube and TikTok at Dr. Jodi, where I give more practical tips for your brain, body, and spirit. See you next season, and until then, let the you, that you want to be, shine through.

Anxiety I’m So Done with You!

en-usAugust 14, 2023

5:6 - Prioritize a Higher Purpose

Welcome to Episode 6. It's all about prioritizing your highest purpose. In this episode, I

🎯 discuss why you need to have a purpose

⛑️ compare little p purpose to Big P Purpose

🍎 give you three ingredients for finding your purpose

🍒 tell you how to stay flexible yet accountable with having a purpose-driven life.

People who feel purpose-driven live longer, happier, and more mentally robust. Having a purpose-driven life is free and accessible to everyone. You start by thinking about how you can help the people and communities around you. Look at situations and discern how you can contribute.

There are three ingredients to finding your purpose. What you are good at, what interests you, and what people around you need. Where all three of these overlap is the place you look for what you want to spend your time and energy on. All of these ingredients sit on a foundation of what you give value to (what is important and precious to you). That might be children being children, people feeling at home through art, inspiring others, making social changes that bring more inclusion, people's safety, healing people through music, and so much more.

"Another benefit of having a purposeful project is that it keeps your mind occupied. Our mind has evolved for millions of years to solve problems, so having a sense of purpose gives it something productive to do with that ability. It also makes you feel worthy, good about yourself, and like you contribute to society. And that's all win, win, win. What you do affects what you mean to people, and what you mean to people gets reflected back to you by them. When you're in a relationship with people, you're interacting with them. How you make them feel, how you have helped them, what they appreciate about you, all of that stuff about you is reflected back to you, from that relationship, in their comments, in their love for you, in their feelings about you, and in how they treat you." - Dr. Jodi Aman

Resources discussed in this episode:

About Dr. Jodi Aman

Therapist | Author | Spiritual Mentor

Dr. Jodi Aman is a Leadership and Spiritual Coach who has spent 25 years as a trauma-informed psychotherapist. She earned a Doctorate in Social Work in ’23, focusing on Leadership, Social Justice, Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion. Social Work acknowledges the person in their environment and understands how humans react to situations. Work with Jodi.

“After 25 years of clinical experience, I feel deep resonance and empathy for the complexities of others’ pain and am compelled to stand against the context of injustice that causes it. Using this keen understanding of how and why people suffer, my unique and varied training, rooted ethics, as well as decades being a trauma-informed psychotherapist, I help sensitive souls release what they don’t want, recover their energetic bandwidth, and grok a socially conscious life of overflowing joy. More about me.”

Her doctorate thesis project addresses the current teen mental health crisis. She is designing a psychoeducational curriculum for improving teen mental health. This program, called COMPASS, will help young people navigate human emotions, giving them the information to understand what is happening and the tools to heal themselves and their communities. If you care about, work with, love, and/or are concerned for teenagers and are worried about the devastating mental health crisis too many of them are living through, you may be interested in my research and plans for this classroom-based, culturally-sensitive curriculum for high school health teachers to facilitate during their mental health units. Watch the video here.

Contact Doctor Jodi:

Keywords:

Dr. Jodi Aman, doctor jodi, doctorjodi, doctorjodiaman, Anxiety I’m So Done With You, anxiety, depression, author, teenager, teen, therapy, anxiety lies, mental health, letting go, let go, embrace letting go, forgive, forgiveness, judgment, self judgment, self-compassion, self-blame, intention setting, set intentions, forgiving, good person, self-confidence, restore relationships, compassion, negative feelings, trauma, PTSD, emotional wellness, PMA, positive mental attitude, good attitude, positive outlook, positive thinking, optimism, self harm, suicide, suicide prevention, self harm alternatives, compassion, self-compassion, healing yourself, loving yourself, relationships, rejection, good relationships, heathy relationships, space, clutter, declutter, clear your space, clear your clutter, home, safety, sanctuary, food, eating, eating disorder, healthy eating, diet, no diet, relationship with food, nourishment, listen to your body, rest, restoration, sleep, sleep hygiene, sleep schedule, how to fall asleep, insomnia, sleep routine, life purpose, higher purpose, having a purpose, purpose-driven life, purpose driven, your life purpose,

S5 Episode 6 - Prioritize a Higher Purpose transcript

Hey, you're here with Dr. Jodi, and this is Hey, you're here with Dr. Jodi, and this is Season 5 of the "Anxiety, I'm So Done With You" podcast. This podcast is a teen and young adult guide to Ditching Toxic Stress and Hardwiring Your Brain for Happiness. If you're new here, grab a copy of my book, Anxiety, I'm So Done With You! because this series is going section by section through it, going a little bit deeper, giving more examples, and telling more stories. This season follows Chapter 5, "Self-Care is the New Health Care." This book promises to 'hardwire your brain for happiness.' This season I deliver on that promise. We focus on seven essential happiness-generating habits, contexts, activities, and practices for you to incorporate into your life to stay healthy, positive, and resilient to whatever life throws your way.

There's a myth at play if you've been feeling bad for a long time. You might think that happy people are lucky and that you are not; that you are different. While context matters to your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health, your context is only partially determined by privilege, genetic expression, and random luck. The rest is determined by you. In this season, I show you how to harness that "you percent," decolonize your self-care, and let your highest potential shine through all of the gook in your life.

Thank you for listening, subscribing, and leaving me five stars on Apple Podcasts. Also, come hang out with me on YouTube and TikTok @DOCTORJODI where I give you practical tips for your brain, body, and spirit. Please spread the word about this book and series because mental health problems are skyrocketing, and I need you to help me turn the tide.

Welcome to Episode 6. It's all about prioritizing your highest purpose. In this episode, I

🎯 discuss why you need to have a purpose

⛑️ compare little p purpose to Big P Purpose

🍎 give you three ingredients for finding your purpose

🍒 tell you how to stay flexible yet accountable with having a purpose-driven life.

Let's talk about why you need a purpose. About only 25% of adults know and have a clear sense of their purpose in life. So if you're like, "I have no idea what my purpose is," don't worry; you are not alone. Plus, you're probably an emerging adult, a teenager, or a young person who doesn't know yet what they want to do with their life or what their primary purpose is for their life. That's okay. Right now, know that a purpose, or having a purpose, to your day, to your week, to your year, to your life helps you live longer, have better emotional wellness, and your overall physical health.

Because when you give up (or don't have a goal that you want to do or get to, like healing or getting through it, and give up), your body believes that there's no hope anymore. When that happens, when it believes that there's no hope anymore, mentally, physically, and emotionally, disease progresses. So you don't want to give up that hope.

Do you know how it feels (emotionally) when you give up hope? The despair is heavy on your heart. It's heavy on your mind, feels horrible, and affects you physically. It affects your physical tissues. That matters, especially if you have a chronic or acute disease. But even when you're healthy, stress still affects you.

"Your issues are in your tissues."

Clear all unnecessary or hurtful mental and emotional baggage so that it doesn't affect you. Physical problems affect you emotionally and mentally, the same as mental and emotional issues affect you physically. We are all one body. Let's include the spiritual realm in there. When you feel more connected, you feel more hope. When you have more faith, you have more hope and more of a sense of purpose, and that affects you physically. It boosts your immune system. It makes you physically stronger.

It motivates you to do things that keep you healthy and happy. And so that's going to make a huge difference. All of these bodies relate to each other. You want to take care of all of them because any problems or disease or decompensation of any of your bodies will affect the rest of your bodies. So you live longer, have better emotional wellness, and have better physical health if you have a strong sense of purpose.

Then why does only one-third of our population have that sense of purpose? People are pretty lost. We could attribute modern conveniences to this problem as well. People used to have daily tasks that they had to do to survive, giving them a sense of purpose, even if it was a small 'p' purpose.

Before continuing this section about why you need a purpose, I'll explain what I mean when I use "little p purpose" and "big P Purpose." Little p purpose is smaller undertakings that last for one task, day, hour, week, or month. It is a goal to accomplish, something you're doing, or a project you're working on. Those are "small p purposes" because you do it, and it's done, and then you need another project. Those projects are not nothing! They instill a strong sense of purpose for those moments, but also overall because you get to know yourself as productive. You see yourself as someone who can accomplish things, contribute, and matter. Right? Having a strong sense of purpose reflects to yourself that you matter. And therefore, it's also very strongly connected with your sense of worth and assists the development of your own personal worthiness in this world.

I have a friend who is a teacher who has the summer off every year. By the end of each summer, he started feeling out of touch with who he was. The lack of purpose over the summer affected him that deeply. He felt terrible about himself as if he was no longer important anymore. He didn't feel like he mattered and was slightly lost. His reaction is an extreme example. However, for example, if someone were to be laid off, they likely would feel similar.

During the shut down of the pandemic, people lacked a sense of purpose because each day was the same, and they had nothing to do. People had limits on what they could do, so they felt lost. Many people found other projects, like making a gym in their backyard or learning new recipes. People find purposeful activities to engage in because we crave it. Without having something to do, something to think about, something to problem solve, our mind is idle. Unfortunately, when it's idle, you know what happens: The anxiety comes.

Another benefit of having a purposeful project is that it keeps your mind occupied. Our mind has evolved for millions of years to solve problems, so having a sense of purpose gives it something productive to do with that ability. It also makes you feel worthy, good about yourself, and like you contribute to society. And that's all win, win, win. What you do affects what you mean to people, and what you mean to people gets reflected back to you by them. So what I mean is when you're in a relationship with people, you're interacting with them. How you make them feel, how you have helped them, what they appreciate about you, all of that stuff about you is reflected back to you, from that relationship, in their comments, in their love for you, in their feelings about you, and in how they treat you. The reflection of your identity on them also gives you a powerful sense of purpose.

So when you are out there in the world doing things, contributing to other people or communities, or doing art projects or whatever it is, to some kind of creative project, you have a strong sense of purpose and that reflection off the people that you're interacting with, with all of that stuff gives you a strong sense of self, very robust sense of self. That is essential for feeling good about yourself. And it's easy to do. It's free. Surround yourself with uplifting people, and you contribute to those relationships somehow. (Don't overthink this, it is a natural process!) When you do, you'll experience yourself as participating and engaged in life, and you'll feel a sense of belonging. So you have connectedness and mattering in a sense of purpose.

Again, the little-p-purpose is for small day-to-day activities, and the big-P-Purpose is more of an overarching way of being or a commitment to your life. People have identities, which means a sense of who or what kind of person they are. Those identities come from what we give value to, what's important to us. When we value loyalty or being present for friends when they need us, loyalty becomes part of our identity. It’s a way to describe ourselves, e.g., "Someone who cares about other people."

Your positive self-identity is the foundation for the commitments and purposeful actions you take in your life, meaning you create actions and activities that go along with that identity and what you want to do. Your purpose is infiltrated with all of that; your identity, what you give value to, what you commit to, what you want to move forward to, and what you want to create in the world. That constitutes your Big-P-Purpose, the overarching ways you want to be in the world.

Let's get back to why humans need a purpose for one additional comment. I already said that it gives you something to focus on, right? This means your brain is not idle. It has something to do. Plus, being productive makes you feel like you're contributing, and that's connected to worth.

I wish it weren't sometimes. Occasionally some people will feel like they must keep producing or working hard to prove their worth. That's more of an attached way to see purpose (i.e., overworking to prove your worth). Many people, often those with a history of trauma, feel like they have to excessively work to prove their worth. Perfectionism is an example of this. Overworking and perfectionism don't actually help people feel sustainably worthy. Instead, they make them overcommitted, burnout people-pleasers who continue to feel bad about themselves.

You are worthy just for being you. You only have to be who you are. And you're 100% worth your place in the world. However, your soul also craves to do more and be purposeful, to matter, to matter to other people, to matter to this world, and to make the world a better place than how you found it.

That's a personal goal of mine; to leave each moment better than I found it. For example, with each episode, I intend to bring you to a better place than you were when you started listening, even if it's a tiny distance. I hope to transform some negative thoughts, give you a new tool, explain something you didn't understand, help you learn about yourself, give you insight into another person, or offer you something you could use to improve, even if it's just a little bit.

Pain needs a purpose.

People go through tough things in life; some are quite traumatic. When people struggle, it matters to them because it has affected them deeply. If their experience were rendered invisible for some reason, like they were invalidated or ignored by the person who hurt them, ridiculed for it, blamed, or even if they couldn't see a reason for it happening, they would feel like it didn't matter that it happened. That adds insult to injury.

Alternately, if your pain was, for example, transformed into something that you could help someone, it becomes more meaningful and easier for your mind and body to process.

Perhaps you help someone who has had a similar painful experience that you have, and this enables you to know what they need. The pain was not for nothing because it made a difference to someone or something.

The suffering happened, and that can't be undone. It's not, "good that it happened so that you could do something good with it." No, it's never good that it happened. However, if something good comes from it, even in a sideways way, it just makes it not for nothing. I don't want to say, "it gives it a reason" ––nothing like that. I don't believe "things happen for a reason." It didn't happen so that this good thing could happen. However, what we do after experiencing hardship, if it's doing something positive, gives that, whatever was precious that was lost from that painful event, gives that value. And that helps us heal.

Say a family member was injured on a stairway and to prevent other people from suffering a similar fate, you advocated for railings to be installed at that location. That advocacy and the results render the suffering and the loss meaningful. It's not the loss or the suffering that's given value but the loved one that suffered or the loved one that you lost that was given value by that action.

Remember I said that any time you're hurt in life, it's devaluing something that you hold precious? When your response to a problematic experience has you contributing to other people's lives, it gives value to what you hold precious.

Again, you don't have to value the loss. You don't give value to the trauma or the hurt, but you re-elevate what was lost during the incident. That's what gets value, and that's really important in so many ways.

A purpose-driven life

The more you are involved in a goal-oriented life, a purpose-driven life, the more you learn, which is awesome for the brain. The more you stimulate that prefrontal cortex, the lower your anxiety and depression become. I think that anxiety and depression have been rising in the last 20-30 years because we have so many modern conveniences that eliminate our need to constantly learn, adapt, and grow our skills. We get out of the practice of problem-solving. We don't have to learn new things. We don't have to build our skills.

This disconnects us from seeing ourselves as educatable, adaptable, and skilled, and we question whether we have skills. We totally do. We have tons of skills, and we have tons of adaptation ability to grow our skills, but we don't have that growth mindset knowing that we can do that, knowing that we can improve and learn something. And we need that. A sense of purpose, having a purpose, and having goals helps us do that. And it also builds self-trust.

Big-P-Purpose vs.Little-p-purpose.

All right. I already covered the Big-P-Purpose and the little-p-purpose. It's crucial to pause, however, and mention that people get confused about these two kinds of purpose. Unfortunately, when people assume they must have a Big-P-Purpose figured out, this can put undue pressure on them. When you are young, it is okay only to have little-p-purposes. Think of it like dating. You are trying things on, learning what is important to you, discovering what makes you feel good, and what you enjoy doing. There's time to figure out your Big-P-Purpose later. Also, don't get stressed about finding the "one." You can change a Big-P-Purpose. So let any worries about your Big--Purpose go and focus on the little-ps.

A little-p-purpose could be supporting a friend going through a hard time, sending them a card, or sharing candy to let them know you're thinking about them.

Small-p-purposes are good for you. They help you feel as purposeful as Big-P-Purposes. As you're emerging into adulthood and you're contemplating your Big-P-Purpose, think about things that you give value to. What's important to you? This could be the basis of your overarching Big-P-Purpose.

How to find your purpose

Perhaps other people are important to you, that they feel worthy and cared for. Or it can be important to you that people who are marginalized get centered. Whatever you give value to can be the base of your life purpose or the foundation of your Big P Purpose.

Here is how to find your purpose. You think about that base. What's that base? What's that thing that you value so much that you want it to be? What is integral to everything that you want to do in your life?

There are many different options on how you could actively value that and commit to that in your life. There may be unlimited options, but that's the foundation.

Once you have the foundation, then you need three ingredients to find your purpose. Imagine three overlapping circles.

🟡 Your interests are in one circle. These can be slightly different than things that you value. Things that you value are that foundation. Things that you're interested in are things that give you pleasure, provide you with joy, charge you up, and spark your attention. That's one circle.

🟣 In the second circle is things that you are good at. Get to know yourself and your skills, what you're naturally good at, or what skills you enjoy so much that you are willing to practice and build. Skills don't develop out of the blue. People who excel practice, practice, practice. There's a saying: '"How did you get to Carnegie Hall?" "Practice, practice, Practice."'

Many people get discouraged when they try something and don't do well at it. This might get in their way of continuing to attempt it, because it doesn't feel good to work hard and be bad at something. But practically nobody is good at stuff right away! Keep working on it. Some activities are interesting or fun enough to practice without you having to push yourself too much. It's fun to build those skills. However, sometimes it's not fun to build skills, but it is still worth it. That is the second circle: Things you are good at or willing to build your skills in.

🔴 In the third circle, put things that people need.

So you have three circles; things that interest you, things that you're good at, and things that people need. Where all three of those circles overlap is an excellent place to find your Big-P-Purpose. There are still many options, but it'll zero you in on what's most important to explore.

What would be a good thing for you to do in your life?

What would be helpful, useful, and purposeful?

What would make you feel good?

How to stay flexible yet accountable to your purpose

The last topic to discuss is staying flexible yet accountable to your purpose. You need to have a balance, don't you? Being flexible is awesome. It gets counters anxiety because anxiety expects and influences you to be rigid. To anxiety, flexibility feels out of control. However, when you lean into flexibility, your confidence in it increases, and your trust in the process improves. This can feel glorious! You get in the flow, are more productive, and you're not judging yourself as much with that anxiety and that rigidity. Flexibility is essential for a happy life.

Can you be too flexible?

That said, I have ADHD, so I struggle with focus and productivity. In many ways, my flexibility, which I developed to counter my own anxiety, has kept me productive. But, there's a downside that I've noticed in myself. Sometimes I'm too flexible and lose the discipline of making things non-negotiable. For example, I struggle with my morning routine.

I know that having a non-negotiable morning routine is so good for a person. It would be so good for me. I really, really, really want a non-negotiable morning routine, and I'm constantly trying to have one. But my flexibility kicks in, and while I LOVE that flexibility, sometimes it works against me. I need to gain the discipline to do what I set out to do without changing course.

Some people are too disciplined and need to lean into flexibility. Or too flexible and need to push themselves to be more disciplined. You have to know which way you're leaning so that you can rebalance it.

Everyone is different. I have to tell some clients to relax and motivate others to get moving. We are not all the same, so we cannot all take the same advice. That wouldn't make sense. You want the balance to be accountable to your goals, yet flexible to shift when that is most helpful to you. If you set a goal, stay committed to that goal.

However, if you decide, "This goal doesn't really work for me anymore, I want to change it." And that doesn't mean you want to suit because you don't feel like doing the hard stuff. It means that it's just not a good fit anymore. Sometimes we're wrong about the goal we want, and sometimes things change that enlightens us to that goal doesn't make sense anymore and we want to switch it. If we consciously change it, then it's okay. If we consciously change what the goal is or when something is due or whatever we consciously change, that flexibility can be helpful.

A Stop-Doing List

There are times when we have to decline a goal, "I don't want to do that anymore. This is not a good fit for me." At those times, get it off your list! You don't have to continue to do something because you made a commitment when it doesn't make sense to keep doing it.

I regularly make myself a "Stop-Doing List." (I have a video about The Stop Doing List.) To make a stop-doing list, get some paper and on it, list everything you do in a day, make sure it is everything, everything. Look at it. Ask yourself:

How many things are nonsense things that don't serve you?

Do they serve your purpose?

Are they fun and or pleasurable?

Writing the list helps you bring consciousness in. You may think you have to do them, but looking at them, you will realize you don't. Then, you cross them out. And you see what is left are activities that deserve your time and energy. That is how you make a Stop Doing list.

Make sure you're enjoying your purpose. If not, change it. (I know we have to do things we don't want to do sometimes, like cleaning your room. That's not what I am talking about.) Sometimes you have a very strong purpose and you want to do something, and it includes some hard or tedious tasks that you don't really want to do, but overall you want it done. I'm not talking about that, either. I mean, overall, make sure you're enjoying what you are majorly spending your time doing. If you're consciously choosing it, make sure you're enjoying it.

So that's it. That's all I got for you. I appreciate your presence here because this episode was so full of information. And I'll also add resources to the blog post that goes along with this episode. That link is in the show notes.

Remember, don't worry if you don't have that Big-P-Purpose. Get some small-p-purposes just for today; find a goal, task, or something you want to accomplish. Get yourself on the other side of that and celebrate that you did it.

That's all for Episode 6. Wow. This series that goes along with the book is almost done. The "Anxiety, I'm So Done with You!" podcast will continue. So keep subscribing, and keep listening. I'll continue to share practical tips for your brain, body, and spirit.

Thank you so much for listing. Please comment, share, subscribe, and leave me five stars on Apple Podcasts. That'll make a huge difference to how many people access these tools. In this episode, I

🍎 discussed why you need a purpose

🩺 distinguished little-p-purpose from Big-P-Purpose

🟣 gave you three ingredients for finding your purpose

🎣 mentioned how to stay flexible yet accountable within your purpose-driven life.

The next and last "book" episode is Prioritizing Creativity. How fun is that? I'm glad I left that fun, pleasurable topic for last because people came to Earth to create and there are so many different ways we could do that to feed our soul. There are a million, unlimited ways to be creative, and I'll share how being creative helps you bring happiness into your life. Read Chapter 5, Section 7, Prioritize Creativity. And in the meantime, as always, hang out with me on YouTube and TikTok at Doctor Jodi.

Anxiety I’m So Done with You!

en-usAugust 14, 2023

5:5 - Prioritize Rest

Welcome to Season 5, Episode 5, which accompanies Chapter 5, Section 5, "Prioritize Rest." In this episode, I attempt to convince you that resting is one of the most important things you can do for your mental health. That's why I'm so glad you're here listening to this episode. In it, I'll share

😴 why people need sleep,

🛌 how to get a good night's sleep

🧘🏾‍♂️ how to include some downtime into your day

During sleep, the body recovers from the day. It cleans and restores all of your systems to maximize your potential for the next day, especially your brain. Therefore when you don't get adequate sleep, it compromises so many areas of your body, causing many negative consequences in your life. Unfortunately, sleep and rest is the first thing to forgo when stressed out.

Hopefully, this episode will convince you to regain control over your rest and sleep schedule. I share the most common barriers to people filing their sleep schedule and suggest how to fix them.

"Susan Weed, a herbalist, says that when there is illness or disease, emotional, mental, or physical issues, whenever something's wrong (obviously, if it's not an emergency), do the least imposing intervention first. Rest is at the top of the list of least imposing interventions. And it's free." - Dr. Jodi Aman

Resources discussed in this episode:

About Dr. Jodi Aman

Therapist | Author | Spiritual Mentor

Dr. Jodi Aman is a Leadership and Spiritual Coach who has spent 25 years as a trauma-informed psychotherapist. She earned a Doctorate in Social Work in ’23, focusing on Leadership, Social Justice, Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion. Social Work acknowledges the person in their environment and understands how humans react to situations. Work with Jodi.

“After 25 years of clinical experience, I feel deep resonance and empathy for the complexities of others’ pain and am compelled to stand against the context of injustice that causes it. Using this keen understanding of how and why people suffer, my unique and varied training, rooted ethics, as well as decades being a trauma-informed psychotherapist, I help sensitive souls release what they don’t want, recover their energetic bandwidth, and grok a socially conscious life of overflowing joy. More about me.”

Her doctorate thesis project addresses the current teen mental health crisis. She is designing a psychoeducational curriculum for improving teen mental health. This program, called COMPASS, will help young people navigate human emotions, giving them the information to understand what is happening and the tools to heal themselves and their communities. If you care about, work with, love, and/or are concerned for teenagers and are worried about the devastating mental health crisis too many of them are living through, you may be interested in my research and plans for this classroom-based, culturally-sensitive curriculum for high school health teachers to facilitate during their mental health units. Watch the video here.

Contact Doctor Jodi:

Keywords:

Dr. Jodi Aman, doctor jodi, doctorjodi, doctorjodiaman, Anxiety I’m So Done With You, anxiety, depression, author, teenager, teen, therapy, anxiety lies, mental health, letting go, let go, embrace letting go, forgive, forgiveness, judgment, self judgment, self-compassion, self-blame, intention setting, set intentions, forgiving, good person, self-confidence, restore relationships, compassion, negative feelings, trauma, PTSD, emotional wellness, PMA, positive mental attitude, good attitude, positive outlook, positive thinking, optimism, self harm, suicide, suicide prevention, self harm alternatives, compassion, self-compassion, healing yourself, loving yourself, relationships, rejection, good relationships, heathy relationships, space, clutter, declutter, clear your space, clear your clutter, home, safety, sanctuary, food, eating, eating disorder, healthy eating, diet, no diet, relationship with food, nourishment, listen to your body, rest, restoration, sleep, sleep hygiene, sleep schedule, how to fall asleep, insomnia, sleep routine,

S5 Episode 5 - Prioritize Rest Transcript

Hey, you're here with Dr. Jodi, and this is Hey, you're here with Dr. Jodi, and this is Season 5 of the "Anxiety, I'm So Done With You" podcast. This podcast is a teen and young adult guide to Ditching Toxic Stress and Hardwiring Your Brain for Happiness. If you're new here, grab a copy of my book, Anxiety, I'm So Done With You! because this series is going section by section through it, going a little bit deeper, giving more examples, and telling more stories. This season follows Chapter 5, "Self-Care is the New Health Care." This book promises to 'hardwire your brain for happiness.' This season I deliver on that promise. We focus on seven essential happiness-generating habits, contexts, activities, and practices for you to incorporate into your life to stay healthy, positive, and resilient to whatever life throws your way.

There's a myth at play if you've been feeling bad for a long time. You might think that happy people are lucky and that you are not; that you are different. While context matters to your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health, your context is only partially determined by privilege, genetic expression, and random luck. The rest is determined by you. In this season, I show you how to harness that "you percent," decolonize your self-care, and let your highest potential shine through all of the gook in your life.

Thank you for listening, subscribing, and leaving me five stars on Apple Podcasts. Also, come hang out with me on YouTube and TikTok @DOCTORJODI where I give you practical tips for your brain, body, and spirit. Please spread the word about this book and series because mental health problems are skyrocketing, and I need you to help me turn the tide.

Welcome to Episode 5: Prioritize Rest. This episode should have been the first episode, the first of the whole series, really, because anxiety is the antithesis of rest, right? Anxiety has us on full alert and so our bodies need MORE rest.

Resting is one of the most important things that we can do, so I'm so glad that you're here listening to this episode. In it, I'll share,

😴 why people need sleep,

🛌 how to get a good night's sleep

🧘🏾‍♂️ how to include some downtime into your day

Let's get into it.

As I said, the episode on rest should be first, first in the season, first in all of the seasons, first in everything, because when you've been experiencing anxiety or if even you have a loved one with anxiety, you need rest. And exhausting. It's so exhausting. When your body's hyped up on adrenaline all the time, it gets tired.

Once, I was in a car accident when my son was about three years old. He was in the back seat and his glass shattered during the car accident. We were all okay, thank goodness. I got him out of his car seat, I was holding him, and he was crying.

When the emergency people arrived, the ambulance and the fire trucks, he had fallen asleep on my shoulder. He was out cold. I thought that was weird. He was so stimulated and crying only moments ago that he was fast asleep. The EMTs said that happens often with toddlers; they fall asleep quickly after such intense adrenaline. So adrenaline exhausts us, so our body needs to recover from anxiety.

If you have anxiety all the time, all day or very often, you especially need a lot of recovery time. This is why I'm glad you're reading this episode.

Sleep, obviously, is one of the top ways to rest the body. In fact, we spent a third of our life sleeping. A third of your whole life! There is nothing else in the world that we spend this much time doing. Sleeping is incredibly important for our overall health. You cannot deny it, and why would you?

Dan Buettner from Blue Zones reports that people who sleep less than six hours a night are 30% less happy. So if you sleep more than six hours a night, which is not even the recommended amount, but if you sleep more than six hours, you are 30% happier. And I don't have the stats for if you sleep 7 or 8 hours. But I do know that 75% of adults sleep less than seven hours a night. 75% of adults sleep less than seven hours a night, and teens sleep even less. Teens need more sleep but sleep fewer hours than adults on average.

Susan Weed, a herbalist, says that when there is an illness or disease, so that could be emotional, mental, or physical issues, whenever something's wrong (obviously if it's not an emergency), do the least imposing intervention first. When you have symptoms and think, "I want to help this," the first thing is to do the least imposing intervention. Rest is at the top of the list of least imposing interventions. It is the least imposing intervention.

The most imposing intervention would be like brain surgery, right? You're extremely disrupting your tissues, and it's traumatizing for the body. Sometimes you need that. However, when there are issues, the first thing you want to do, if it's not an emergency, is rest. Get more rest.

I can't even emphasize enough how vital rest is. Yet, unfortunately, that's the thing that we sacrifice first when we're busy. It's okay occasionally, but it's not okay when done consistently.

Sleep is restorative to your systems. When you sleep, your body doesn't just shut down and do nothing. It cleans and restores the body's systems. You know that fluid in the brain? It's called cerebrospinal fluid. It gets thick like honey if you don't sleep. Every night, your body cleans out that fluid. When you don't get enough sleep, you can imagine what happens. The cerebrospinal fluid transports your thoughts, or the "synapses," to help you think and put the necessary hormones into your body. Therefore, without enough sleep, you lack concentration. The mind gets dull. It takes more work to make decisions and problem-solve. You lose things.

Also, you get sick when you don't sleep because your immune system is compromised. You react slower, have more accidents, have more appetite, and eat more to recover some of that energy. Quite often, you're also irritable.

That's what happens when that spinal fluid is not cleaned out each night with sleep. Many of you know what I'm talking about because you've experienced these things. There may be days you don't sleep enough, and you have those problems. You're not optimizing your potential those days. And it's okay once in a while. Everything's okay once in a while.

However, when you consistently sleep too few hours, then you're going to have more and more consequences of that. It works against you and causes depression and anxiety. That's the first thing. Sometimes if it's just that day, yes, it's hard to concentrate. Over time, it affects your mental health.

The first thing recommended to anybody experiencing trouble sleeping is to design a helpful sleep routine. Primarily to go to bed at the same time every night and wake up at the same time every morning. With only that change (going to bed at the same time each night and waking up at the same time each morning), your mental health improves. It decreases your anxiety and depression.

Again, this is a minor intervention. It's not medicine. You're not changing the chemicals in your body, and it's free. It's the least imposing intervention because it's right there, and our bodies know how to do it.

Next, let's talk about if you have trouble sleeping. One important thing to know is that if you're struggling to sleep, it could be that you are not tired. Have you ever been trying to go to sleep early but have trouble? You're not going to sleep; you're sitting in bed awake and thinking about all these negative thoughts.

Well, what is happening is your adrenaline is kicking off. When you're thinking negative thoughts or any time you're bothered, the adrenaline releases, and that'll keep you awake. You wouldn't want to fall asleep if you were in danger! You'd like to be awake to help yourself survive. Adrenaline wakes you up.

Again, when you can't sleep and are worried, "Oh my gosh, I'm not going to have a good day tomorrow! I'm not getting to sleep! It's going to be awful!" That is going to wake you up. When you can't sleep, try not to let yourself worry about it. Trust your body. That way, you'll be calmer, which will aid you in falling asleep.

The times when you are still stinking negative thoughts, you might have to get p and do something else to distract yourself so that you can be calm enough for sleep. Either purposely think about something, read, or do something else to get your mind on something besides the negative thoughts.

Apps like the Rest app. or Calm app. have sleep stories. They're on Spotify as well. They're about 20-minute audios of someone telling a story. They're slow, and they're repetitive in order to bore you. (Boredom makes people sleepy!)

The story should be interesting enough to distract you from negative thinking but boring enough to help you fall asleep. That is the sweet spot of anything you want to do to help yourself fall asleep. You want it to be interesting enough to distract your mind from the anxiety. Depending on how high the anxiety is, is how engaging it has to be. Engaging enough to take your mind off the anxiety and boring enough to allow you to sleep.

In summary,If you want help sleeping, stick to a routine, a relatively consistent bedtime and a relatively consistent wake-up time will enhance overall wellness. You'll do whatever you want anyway, but maybe this episode will spark you to think about prioritizing sleep in your life.

Many people tell me they have trouble falling asleep at night, and when I learn how much they sleep, I end up hearing that they do sleep eight hours. They're just going to bed late, and then they end up sleeping late into the morning. They're frustrated because they want to go to bed earlier, but when they do, they sit in bed for a couple of hours. Then, once they fall asleep, they're sleeping eight hours. So when they try to go to sleep earlier the next night, their body doesn't need it yet.

Consequently, they're sitting in bed for hours that next night and the same thing happens again. Unfortunately, sitting in bed for hours when you have a propensity for negative thoughts is the worst thing you can do. Instead, it would be best if you went to bed tired. That means that when you're trying to change your sleep routine to, going to bed earlier is not the course of action.

Instead, plan to wake up earlier for a couple of days. It would be best if you were sleep deprived in order to change your bedtime to earlier. This is the biggest mistake people make in their bedtime routine. They try to go to bed earlier, but when they can't, they sleep in because they need sleep. And the next night, the same thing happens, and they think they have insomnia. They don't have insomnia. They're just on a different sleep schedule, but they're trying to change it by going to bed earlier instead of waking up earlier. Changing your sleep schedule by waking up early will take a couple of days for you to adjust to, just like if you have jet lag.

All too often people who struggle with anxiety and depression isolate themselves. If they have a switched bedtime (sleeping during the day and being awake at night), it is not good. That enhances isolation and is more problematic. Change your sleeping to at night, please, as soon as you can!

If you sleep during the day and you're like, "Well, I want to sleep at night now," and you try to go to bed at night, but you just woke up at five and you're trying to go to bed at 10 pm, it's not going to work. You've only been up five hours. Your body is ready to stay up all night again. You need to start waking up earlier in the day. And then and only then can you go to bed early at night.

Naps

Also, try not to nap. If you're trying to improve your sleep routine, try not to nap because you'll have trouble sleeping at night. People don't even realize. They lament, "I can't sleep; I'm there for hours," but they've napped!

Napping is not always a problem, but if you're struggling to fall asleep, don't nap. If you love naps and they work for you, and you take a speed nap, and you're recovered and sleeping at night okay, it's fine. I 100% love the nap for you. Keep it.

But if you're struggling to fall asleep at night, nix the naps. Also, nix the screens around your bed. I know. I just said that you could listen to a story or you could read, but if you're struggling, this is one challenge that you could make for yourself, to not have your phone in your bed.

Scrolling on social media keeps people awake and keeps negativity in your head. The longer they spend on screens, the more anxiety and depression teenagers have (and probably adults have). It harms all of us.

The blue light emitted by the screens decreases melatonin production because blue light is middle-of-the-day light. When you're looking at your screens, your brain is getting the signal, don't send out melatonin. Melatonin is a hormone to help you sleep. Your brain's like, "Don't put out the melatonin because it's the middle of the day."

Alternately, red light is morning and evening light. You know how photographers take pictures in that dusk time where there's that perfect light (the golden hour) when the sun is low and it's just really great light? That's the red light. Red light signals the body that it is almost time to rest. That's red light versus blue light. One tip also, and I put some more in the book, but one other tip is to keep your bedroom cooled down. If it's between 60 and 68°F, it's good for stimulating melatonin.

A couple more resources for you

Many of these tips I got from Change Your Schedule, Change Your Life: How to Harness the Power of Clock Genes to Lose Weight, Optimize Your Workout, and Finally Get a Good Night's Sleep by Dr. Suhas Kshirsagar.

Also, I have a breathing video that may help you too. In it, you inhale for five, hold for five, exhale for five, and take two regular breaths. There's a visual guide to help you practice. That is a great way to calm your nervous system down. When you are in danger, you breathe into your upper chest. Your body is attempting to get oxygen to your large muscle groups quickly to survive.

When you breathe low into your body and very deep and slow, you're communicating to your brain that you're okay. That's why breathing is so often a remedy for anxiety because it instigates your parasympathetic nervous system, telling it that you're okay, releasing the GABA hormone, and putting the brakes on the adrenaline.

The last resource is my video, "How To Clear Your Mind at Night." In it, I explain how to think about something benign, like taking a tour of a room from memory, your best friend's house, or your grandparent's house. Think about the last show you watched and watch it again in your head in sequence, if you can. Or you can plan a birthday party or even design something in your mind. Again, the sweet spot is engaging enough to distract yourself from the anxiety but boring enough to help you fall asleep.

You need downtime, integration time, and restoration time.

Your body needs more rest than sleeping. Everybody needs downtime. You need downtime, integration time, and restoration time. So let's think about what those three are. Downtime is when you can let go of control. It is a respite from making decisions and taking care of other people. That's downtime. You might do something for yourself, like take a bath, swim, walk, or sit on the couch reading.

Integration is the time to process an event or experience. It is if something happens or you need to process it. You can discuss it with a friend. You might think, discern, evaluate, or access. It is time and space to make meaning around what happened to you. Integration time can be rest time because to do it, you are taking a break from your routine. In many ways, it can be similar to downtime. It's time for your body to do what it needs to do. You don't have to make it do something, but rather allow your body and brain to recover how it needs to.

Restoration is a recovery time from something intense. For example, empathic people may get worn out in social situations and need some time to restore themselves and recoop their energy.

Burnout Recovery

A couple of episodes ago, I shared that you need two things when burnt out. These two things help you recover from burnout. One is respite. Respite means resting. Taking a break is crucial in recovery from burnout. The other one is receiving an acknowledgment. This can be validation, a compliment, attention, or appreciation. Some form of acknowledgment from another person invigorates you and helps you recover from burnout. So respite and acknowledgment. You need this restoration time, especially after arduous tasks, intense social experiences like arguing with somebody, or any other hard or traumatic time. You want your body to do what it needs to do to heal and need the space to do that.

Conscious rest

When you have anxiety, leaving yourself space is hard because you're worried that anxiety will take that space. An idle mind is a place for anxiety to come on in and come on in strong. So what do you do? You need to rest, but you don't want to be idle. Conscious rest is not idleness. You rarely get bored with conscious rest because you're doing something to restore, feed, and fuel yourself.

The truth about the Netflix binge

It could be reading, and maybe it is even a Netflix binge. If you're consciously choosing a Netflix binge to recover, let your mind go, or not have to work very hard to rest, then it's productive time. If you're doing a Netflix binge because you're avoiding doing some work or you just don't have the energy to get your day going or procrastinate, it's not restful. You're resting but not getting the benefits from that rest because you're judging yourself. You'll feel lazy, bad, and overwhelmed by what you still have to do. The same activity, a Netflix binge, can be productive or harmful, depending on your intentions. It's destructive, mainly because you're going to judge yourself negatively. That's the most considerable harm we inflict on ourselves anyway. However, when you plan, you allow for this rest and downtime; there should be no guilt.

No judgment.

Many people feel guilty about their bodies needing rest. Not helpful. If you feel guilty about resting when your body asks for it, you're not restoring yourself. Alternately some people are procrastinating and can't get themselves up and going, and then they judge themself and stay immobile instead of saying, Hey, I don't want this; I want to do something else.

Remember, guilt is an invitation. It's not an invitation to be immobilized; it's an invitation to take action if you want to take action. For example, in times when you have nothing to do, like when you are on break, it's easy not to have a plan and then feel horrible about a day in bed, watching videos and doing nothing. You may regret that you wasted that day, which is not helpful. It makes you feel bad about yourself and often less motivated to pivot to being productive later in the day. But if you intentionally had planned to relax until 2 pm doing nothing because you are on break, then, when you are done, you are in a better head-space to enjoy what you have to do in the afternoon because you will feel replenished and good about yourself.

Well, that's it. I hope you enjoyed this episode. Thank you for listening, commenting, and leaving me five stars on Apple Podcasts. That is so helpful. I can't even tell you enough how useful it is to get this podcast into the ears of more people who need it. In this episode, we talked about why people need sleep, how to get a good night's sleep, and how to include downtime into your day. Thank you for listening to this podcast, Anxiety, I'm So Done With You! with me, Dr. Jodi. We're getting ready for episode six, Prioritize a Higher Purpose. Until then, read that section of the book and come on and hang out with me on YouTube and TikTok @DoctorJodi.

Anxiety I’m So Done with You!

en-usAugust 08, 2023

5:4 - Prioritize Whole Nourishment

Welcome to Season 5, Episode 4, which accompanies Chapter 5, Section 4, “Whole Nourishment.” In this episode, I discuss:

🍏 the various things you can consume

🍨 how to consciously choose what you consume

🥑 how to say yes to what you bring into your body

Humans consume more than just food, including media, substances, stories, toxins, energy, color, sounds, and more. This episode invites you to be conscious and empowered about what you have control over coming into your body to help robust-ify you to handle it better when exposed to the things you can’t.

Food is especially discussed in this episode since humans have wonky relationships with it, especially in the U.S. Many people don’t know what eating healthy looks like, and many don’t have the energy or resources to secure nutritious food.

“If you are on that bandwagon of trying to encourage people to LOVE our bodies in all shapes and sizes, and I hope you are, make sure your inner beliefs match that intention. And if they don't, work on it! Because the incongruency of that will hurt you. Those beliefs that you're not good enough unless you're thin hurt you, even if outwardly you're like, "Nope, I know that that's ridiculous, and that's harmful, and I don't want to fat-shame or body shame myself." Make sure you actually aren’t!” - Dr. Jodi Aman

Resources discussed in this episode:

About Dr. Jodi Aman

Therapist | Author | Spiritual Mentor

Dr. Jodi Aman is a Leadership and Spiritual Coach who has spent 25 years as a trauma-informed psychotherapist. She earned a Doctorate in Social Work in ’23, focusing on Leadership, Social Justice, Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion. Social Work acknowledges the person in their environment and understands how humans react to situations. Work with Jodi.

“After 25 years of clinical experience, I feel deep resonance and empathy for the complexities of others’ pain and am compelled to stand against the context of injustice that causes it. Using this keen understanding of how and why people suffer, my unique and varied training, rooted ethics, as well as decades being a trauma-informed psychotherapist, I help sensitive souls release what they don’t want, recover their energetic bandwidth, and grok a socially conscious life of overflowing joy. More about me.”

Her doctorate thesis project addresses the current teen mental health crisis. She is designing a psychoeducational curriculum for improving teen mental health. This program, called COMPASS, will help young people navigate human emotions, giving them the information to understand what is happening and the tools to heal themselves and their communities. If you care about, work with, love, and/or are concerned for teenagers and are worried about the devastating mental health crisis too many of them are living through, you may be interested in my research and plans for this classroom-based, culturally-sensitive curriculum for high school health teachers to facilitate during their mental health units. Watch the video here.

Contact Doctor Jodi:

Keywords:

Dr. Jodi Aman, doctor jodi, doctorjodi, doctorjodiaman, Anxiety I’m So Done With You, anxiety, depression, author, teenager, teen, therapy, anxiety lies, mental health, letting go, let go, embrace letting go, forgive, forgiveness, judgment, self judgment, self-compassion, self-blame, intention setting, set intentions, forgiving, good person, self-confidence, restore relationships, compassion, negative feelings, trauma, PTSD, emotional wellness, PMA, positive mental attitude, good attitude, positive outlook, positive thinking, optimism, self harm, suicide, suicide prevention, self harm alternatives, compassion, self-compassion, healing yourself, loving yourself, relationships, rejection, good relationships, heathy relationships, space, clutter, declutter, clear your space, clear your clutter, home, safety, sanctuary, food, eating, eating disorder, healthy eating, diet, no diet, relationship with food, nourishment, listen to your body

S5 Episode 4 - Prioritize Whole Nourishment Transcript

Hey, you're here with Dr. Jodi, and this is Season 5 of the "Anxiety, I'm So Done With You" podcast. This podcast is a teen and young adult guide to Ditching Toxic Stress and Hardwiring Your Brain for Happiness. If you're new here, grab a copy of my book, Anxiety, I'm So Done With You! because this series is going section by section through it, going a little bit deeper, giving more examples, and telling more stories. This season follows Chapter 5, "Self-Care is the New Health Care." This book promises to 'hardwire your brain for happiness.' This season I deliver on that promise. We focus on seven essential happiness-generating habits, contexts, activities, and practices for you to incorporate into your life to stay healthy, positive, and resilient to whatever life throws your way.

There's a myth at play if you've been feeling bad for a long time. You might think that happy people are lucky and that you are not; that you are different. While context matters to your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health, your context is only partially determined by privilege, genetic expression, and random luck. The rest is determined by you. In this season, I show you how to harness that "you percent," decolonize your self-care, and let your highest potential shine through all of the gook in your life.

Thank you for listening, subscribing, and leaving me five stars on Apple Podcasts. Also, come hang out with me on YouTube and TikTok @DOCTORJODI where I give you practical tips for your brain, body, and spirit. Please spread the word about this book and series because mental health problems are skyrocketing, and I need you to help me turn the tide.

Welcome to this Episode 4: Prioritize Whole Nourishment.

We are talking about whole nourishment, prioritizing whole nourishment, in this episode. And we're going to talk about more than just food because you put other things into your body to nourish it in order to help it thrive and grow strong and sustain good energy in yourself. Food is a biggie, and of course, we'll talk about food in this episode, but there's energy that you surround yourself with. There are

substances and chemicals that you interact with
topics that you think about in your head or in conversations around you
people who uplift you and who tear you down
many things that you bring into your bodies

I'm talking about all those bodies again: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. It's necessary to nourish all of your bodies. This will be a very short episode. It's a concise section of the book, too. This is because I only cover some things about food. There is so much I could talk about, but other people do that. They do an excellent job teaching about food, emotional eating, loving your body, and being conscious of your inputs.

Fortunately, there's a vast movement to resist body shame and to love our bodies more robustly. I'm in love with that movement that's going on. It's like a backlash to the decade of social media that encouraged negative self-judgment.

If you are on that bandwagon of trying to encourage people to LOVE their bodies in all shapes and sizes, and I hope you are, make sure your inner beliefs match that intention. And if they don't, work on it! Because the incongruency of that will hurt you. Those beliefs that you're not good enough unless you're thin? They hurt you, even if outwardly you're like, "Nope, I know that that's ridiculous, harmful, and I don't want to fat shame myself or body shame myself." Make sure you actually aren't. In Western society, we have been encultured to have shabby body images and to judge ourselves for our appearance critically. We don't even notice it because it's integrated. As much as you want to protest that and not do it, inside, you may still be negatively self-judging. Bring that out to the surface so you can consciously override it and then put how you want to relate to yourself and how you want to think of yourself into your internal belief system.

When you think about loving your body and appreciating your body, the choices that you make about what you put into your body, food and etcetera, everything else, will be for your highest good. Say, ninety percent of what you bring into your body is nourishing, and the rest is not. When you are conscious about the 90%, and even more importantly, when you are as conscious as you can be about the 10%, your body will be robust enough to process the rest without too much detriment to you.

Of course, sometimes life hands us something that's not nourishing for us, an experience, person, or interaction. When we consistently take mostly nourishing things into ourselves, that negativity will be easier to process. And when our body is healthy, the emotional and mental things will be easier to process. If we keep ourselves healthy mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, that will assist us in processing negativity. Try to think about it in terms of ratio. The more conscious you are about what you bring in, the more bandwidth you'll have to handle any challenges that come your way. Everybody has challenges that come their way! Thus is the world, and this is life. We have challenges that come our way. Our environment contains toxins and complex energies in the people around us that we can't control.

Eating Whole Food

So food. The best thing is to choose whole foods, which is something that is close to the original form (how it grew or how it is in nature). The least processed is better. Look at your food. Is it broken down and mixed with a lot of other things and chemicals that you can't even pronounce? Or is it mostly what it is and what it is with only one or two ingredients? Read labels. Knowing what you are eating is essential.

There's a lot of information online about whole-eating and anti-inflammatory diet plans. It is important not to approach an eating plan as a "weight loss diet." Or trying to punish your body because they're not "as nice as we want them to be," or something. That is unsustainable. Instead, think about your body as a temple and imagine saying yes to everything you consciously consume. When a challenge comes in, process it consciously, you can handle it so much better from that position of empowerment. (You may not always have those opportunities to decline a challenge, but occasionally we do.)

And, if for any reason you're choosing to eat something that's not whole, say YES to it. Please don't feel guilty for eating it because then you are swallowing the guilt along with it. Try to have the vast majority of what you take in be something you are consciously choosing and saying yes to because that energy and that emotion will be digested along with that food.

Bring into your mind the Formula to Happiness. It applies to so many things in life, doesn't it? You want to take in the things that bring you joy, lift you up, nourish you, or help your body grow and heal. You want to eliminate the items in your life that make you suffer, make your body decompensate, make your body have to work harder than it should, or take any toxins in if you can. Get those out. You can't eliminate them 100%, but your effort will make a difference (you're not trying to have anything close to perfection in any of the things I suggest.)

The formula for happiness: take in the stuff that's nourishing and harmonizing. Get rid of the stuff, or choose not to have the stuff that breaks you down or harms you. And practice that every day. Make empowered choices every chance you can. That includes substances. I won't get on my soapbox about substances (drugs), but you know what they are and what they do to your body. You know this. And you may be denying them because you want to use them, but you know things that are not good for your body. When you indulge in substances, your mind knows you're making choices against you. If you're vaping, drinking, smoking, or whatever you're doing, your body knows that you're making those choices against itself.

And yes, it could come up with all kinds of excuses why that's okay. And it also might come up with the excuse that it's helping you feel better. But overall, it creates a relationship that you feel bad when you're not using them. You may feel like they make you feel better, but they've made you feel bad in the first place. Plus, they cover up us being able to learn how to process our feelings. Some people spend years not processing their feelings, making it harder to stop using. Then they have to go back and process all of those feelings that they medicated themselves out of having.

Some research points to pot being natural and good for you, but you have to have a critical eye on who is paying for the research to see if it is objective or biased. These research studies show the harm of it.

Effects of Marijuana on Teenage Brains from the CDC.

Is marijuana addictive?

Well, I didn't have many notes on this episode. I just thought I'd shoot from the hip a little bit because it's something I think about a lot: What I take in my body, what I breathe, what chemicals I use in my cleaners, in the house, how I function in the world, and the choices that I make to have as much as I can around me that nourishes my body. I have plants in the house to give me that oxygen and eat up all the carbon dioxide I exhale. I open the windows when I can when the air is good quality, and I like to have filtered water to drink. All of these choices that I make help because I can't control everything that I interact with. I can only control some things if I make intentional decisions of what I take in; it makes a huge difference to how I handle the rest of the world.

Food. Food is a biggie in our culture. It is often the centerpiece of everything that we do. Our body and appearance are also central to everything that we do. So this is a tricky subject for us; many of us have issues with our body and our relationship with food. This can be fixed. You can fix your relationship with food. And you can fix your relationship with your body.

Let this episode be an invitation to do so. I will put some resources in the blog post that goes with this episode for you to start to see where to find help if this is a problem for you. And I encourage you. Consuming is something that you do every day. You're in your body every day; food is something you do every day. If this is a problem for you, if you struggle at all, if you struggle with an eating disorder, if you struggle or feel bad about how you look, if you overeat, under-eat, emotionally eat, whatever you do, there is a way to fix that. And "fix" sounds a little bit like "good and bad" or "black and white thinking." I don't like that word. There is a way to CHANGE your relationship with your body and with food. (That's better!) So I encourage you to do that. This is just an invitation.

Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Anxiety, I Am So Done With You with me, Dr. Jodi. Thank you so much for subscribing, commenting, and leaving me five stars on Apple Podcasts. I need those five stars, people because that's really going to get this podcast in the ears of people who need it. And I look forward to seeing you in the next episode, but in the meantime, catch me on TikTok and YouTube @DoctorJodi. The next episode is Prioritize Rest. We're really getting up there, aren't we? This is episode five of season five. We are almost done. But rest is a biggie. I'm kind of thinking that I want a silent episode for 15 minutes––just silence so you can rest because your poor mind needs rest. It's sometimes hard for people to rest because a quiet mind can be scary. I'll give you some tips on handling that so you can rest but not have an empty mind for anxiety to hijack. So read that section, and I'll see you there.

Anxiety I’m So Done with You!

en-usAugust 05, 2023

5:3 - Prioritize Movement

Welcome to Season 5, Episode 3, which accompanies Chapter 5, Section 3, “Prioritize Movement.” In this episode, I

tell you why I use the word movement instead of exercise.
share why movement is a win, win, win, win, win endeavor.
go over the benefits of movement, and then
give you a list of some movements that you can engage in that are really fun.

The fact that movement is essential for overall wellness is not new. We all know it is. Some of you take that to heart, and others are still too sedentary for optimal health. Hopefully, this episode will motivate you to do something about that.

Your body was designed to move. However, we don’t need to move to survive like our ancestors. This means we must add movement to our daily life to keep us healthy. Healthy means happy. This episode will inspire you to add consistent practices into your life to get stronger, live longer, feel more energy, and stand straighter. Your current self will build confidence, calmness, and clarity, too! Your future self will love that you made this commitment.

“Unfortunately, humans are moving less than they did in past generations because there are fewer activities we have to do to survive in this world. Modern conveniences help us do many chores, so we move less. In human history, much of our movement was taking care of the things we needed to survive, communicate, travel, look for food, and hunt. We had to use movement to do whatever we had to do. Now we have to put movement into our day because our body is meant to move.” - Dr. Jodi Aman

Resources discussed in this episode:

About Dr. Jodi Aman

Therapist | Author | Spiritual Mentor

Dr. Jodi Aman is a Leadership and Spiritual Coach who has spent 25 years as a trauma-informed psychotherapist. She earned a Doctorate in Social Work in ’23, focusing on Leadership, Social Justice, Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion. Social Work acknowledges the person in their environment and understands how humans react to situations. Work with Jodi.

“After 25 years of clinical experience, I feel deep resonance and empathy for the complexities of others’ pain and am compelled to stand against the context of injustice that causes it. Using this keen understanding of how and why people suffer, my unique and varied training, rooted ethics, as well as decades being a trauma-informed psychotherapist, I help sensitive souls release what they don’t want, recover their energetic bandwidth, and grok a socially conscious life of overflowing joy. More about me.”

Her doctorate thesis project addresses the current teen mental health crisis. She is designing a psychoeducational curriculum for improving teen mental health. This program, called COMPASS, will help young people navigate human emotions, giving them the information to understand what is happening and the tools to heal themselves and their communities. If you care about, work with, love, and/or are concerned for teenagers and are worried about the devastating mental health crisis too many of them are living through, you may be interested in my research and plans for this classroom-based, culturally-sensitive curriculum for high school health teachers to facilitate during their mental health units. Watch the video here.

Contact Doctor Jodi:

Keywords:

Dr. Jodi Aman, doctor jodi, doctorjodi, doctorjodiaman, Anxiety I’m So Done With You, anxiety, depression, author, teenager, teen, therapy, anxiety lies, mental health, letting go, let go, embrace letting go, forgive, forgiveness, judgment, self judgment, self-compassion, self-blame, intention setting, set intentions, forgiving, good person, self-confidence, restore relationships, compassion, negative feelings, trauma, PTSD, emotional wellness, PMA, positive mental attitude, good attitude, positive outlook, positive thinking, optimism, self harm, suicide, suicide prevention, self harm alternatives, compassion, self-compassion, healing yourself, loving yourself, relationships, rejection, good relationships, heathy relationships, space, clutter, declutter, clear your space, clear your clutter, home, safety, sanctuary, exercise, movement, move your body, listen to your body

Season 5 Episode 3 - Prioritize Movement transcript

Hey, you're here with Dr. Jodi, and this is Season 5 of the "Anxiety, I'm So Done With You" podcast. This podcast is a teen and young adult guide to Ditching Toxic Stress and Hardwiring Your Brain for Happiness. If you're new here, grab a copy of my book, Anxiety, I'm So Done With You! because this series is going section by section through it, going a little bit deeper, giving more examples, and telling more stories. This season follows Chapter 5, "Self-Care is the New Health Care." This book promises to 'hardwire your brain for happiness.' This season I deliver on that promise. We focus on seven essential happiness-generating habits, contexts, activities, and practices for you to incorporate into your life to stay healthy, positive, and resilient to whatever life throws your way.

There's a myth at play if you've been feeling bad for a long time. You might think that happy people are lucky and that you are not; that you are different. While context matters to your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health, your context is only partially determined by privilege, genetic expression, and random luck. The rest is determined by you. In this season, I show you how to harness that "you percent," decolonize your self-care, and let your highest potential shine through all of the gook in your life.

Thank you for listening, subscribing, and leaving me five stars on Apple Podcasts. Also, come hang out with me on YouTube and TikTok @DOCTORJODI where I give you practical tips for your brain, body, and spirit. Please spread the word about this book and series because mental health problems are skyrocketing, and I need you to help me turn the tide.

Hey, everybody. Welcome to this episode of "Anxiety... I'm So Done With You!" It's a podcast. It's a book. It's both. We are in Season 5 now, Episode 3. We're talking about prioritizing movement. In this episode, I

tell you why I use the word movement instead of exercise.
share why movement is a win, win, win, win, win endeavor.
go over the benefits of movement, and then
give you a list of some movements that you can engage in that are really fun.

Well, I think so, anyway. And hopefully, I will convince you.

So this season is an extemporaneous podcast, so I am doing the video live, swiping the audio, and putting it up to the podcast, so it's a little bit messier, but hopefully, you're going to get everything that you want out of the episode. I'm going to be as concise as possible so you can get what you need and go on to living your best, awesome life. All right.

We have many attachments to the word exercise. People often think about exercise as if it is an obligation. Some of you might have a positive connotation to exercise. You know how good it makes you feel. You love doing it. Or, you participate in a sport, you're with other people. You have a lot of good experiences with exercise. Other people have more of a negative connotation to exercise, like they think it's something that they have to do or they're lazy for not doing it. There are all kinds of things that we think about when we use the word "exercise." But "movement" is a whole other thing altogether because movement is just a description of something that moves.

You are something that moves. Your body moves in all many directions. And you can do so many movements that will benefit you. Some that you may not have considered as exercise before. But I lump it in because movement is movement. Your body was made to move. The most important thing to remember here is that your body was made to move. And so, we need to incorporate movement into our daily lives.

Unfortunately, humans are moving less than they did in past generations because there are fewer activities that we have to do to survive in this world right now. Modern conveniences help us do many chores, and so we move less. In human history, a lot of our movement was taking care of the things that we needed to take care of, survive, communicate, travel, look for food, and hunt. Whatever we had to do, we had to use movement to do it. Now we have to put movement into our day because our body is meant to move. When it doesn't move, it begins to shut down over time, especially if we're sitting in kind of a hunched position. If we're sitting in that kind of position, we're crushing all of our vital organs inside our abdomen. It doesn't feel very good for a long period of time to sit in that position. However, we rarely link that discomfort and exhaustion to sitting, and we sit more. The discomfort and exhaustion make us worry that something is wrong with us. There's some truth to that.

In fact, many studies say that if you sit for extended periods and don't get up and move around, you die earlier. And that makes a lot of sense because your organs are smushed. They're not receiving that vital energy or oxygen flow through them. Unable to function at their high level, they begin to die off. I don't mean tomorrow but over your lifespan. If you're a young person, that might not trigger you yet, you're not worried if you die at 80 or 88, but when you're 80, you will want those extra eight years. Adding movement into your day will help extend that time for yourself.

The word "Movement" holds fewer attachments.

Movement benefits the body, whether it is linear or non-linear. Linear movement is like walking or running. It's back and forth, back and forth. It's more symmetrical, so you only get the front and the back of your muscles. The same sets of muscles are triggered for that back and forth, so they build up—non-linear movement in all different directions. If you walk on a straight path, you'd have linear movement. When you walk in a path in the woods, and you are up and down and around stumps and those kinds of things, that would be non-linear movement. There are different ways that you're moving.

Non-linear movement is better for your brain, keeping it healthy longer. One of the best activities for people who are growing older is ballroom dancing because it's non-linear. Their brain has to think about movement in all different ways, and it not only helps them physically and it does, it does help them physically, but it helps them mentally. It keeps them mentally sharp, and that extends their life. Try to add a movement practice and incorporate non-linear movement into your routine. Linear movement is great; it's fine; it's walking. But try to incorporate dancing, hiking, or playing different sports that have your body moving all different ways, utilizing all the muscles and joints. Even if you're doing an exercise routine, like with weights, try also to use the weights in a non-linear way as well, like carrying them or putting them around your head in an "around the world' move.

Movement is a win, win, win, win, win endeavor.

Exercise helps physically and mentally, which takes us to my next point: exercise is a win, win, win, win, win endeavor. You know, win-win? That means everybody wins. Well? All movement is so great that it helps you win in five areas. In the book, I list four - physical, mental, relational, and emotional - but I will add spiritual here because the realms of your person, or the realms of your body, are physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual, so it needs to be included. Plus, relational because it's really pertinent.

Physical Benefits

The first way exercise benefits you is physical. When you exercise, you're putting endorphins and amino acids into your brain, giving you energy. Over time, this energy helps you feel happier and healthier. It builds your muscle, and when you build your muscles, your metabolism increases so it's easier to stay fit and feel energized. And also, it helps improve your cardiovascular system, which helps your heart live longer. Another benefit from having your muscles very strong is that your bones stay really strong. When you lift weights, your bones get very strong, and when your bones are stronger, you have less chance of osteoporosis when you're older, and you stay healthier longer. You have fewer broken bones, inflammation, and infections.

And I know, again, you're young, and you're not thinking of how do I keep myself healthy later? Listen, I'm using those markers of the fact that it helps you live longer and prevents problems later in life to let you see that it's healthier now. The benefits now are a little more ethereal. They're not tangible, you can't see them as much, but you probably can feel them because it affects everything else when you are stronger physically.

Mentally, Emotional, and Spiritual Benefits

You are getting stronger mentally whenever you commit to a movement practice and follow up on that commitment. You're building that trust in yourself, and you're building that confidence in yourself. Emotionally, it's going to decrease your anxiety and depression. There are a lot of different reasons for this. One is that frequently, when we're doing a movement practice, we're with other people, which helps. That's the more relational realm. When we're with other people or playing on a team sport, we have communal goals, or we have a connection with other people in that process. Like if we're dancing, we might be dancing with somebody else.

And then spiritual. Spiritual is a little bit of everything. When we feel stronger physically, we can engage more readily in our lifepurpose. When we have confidence in ourselves, again, it's the same thing. We feel connected and supported by the world around us, and that gives us a spiritual lift. When we feel well emotionally and not so scared, we feel connected. And relationally, we feel connected to a higher power perhaps, nature and each other. And that gives us a boost spiritually. So it's win, win, win, win, win. Five wins here! Physical, mental, relational, emotional, and spiritual.

Movement Practice Ideas

So let's talk about a list of possible movements. (And I'm just shooting from the hip here. I don't have these listed in front of me.) Firstly, have you heard of shaking? Every other mammal after they've been triggered with their sympathetic nervous system like they had a scare? For example, after being chased by a predator. Animals shake after a chase to release the adrenaline from their body. And so now people have started, it might be considered a yoga practice, but it's a little bit separate or, aside from that, a shaking practice. People shake different parts of their body or their whole body to release tension held inside it. That's an enjoyable practice. You could look up some YouTube videos, and I'll put some in the blog post that goes along with this episode, link in the show notes, and you could do that.

Also, laughing yoga is very, very popular and is also a way to get out emotions. Another activity is dancing, either in a class or by yourself at home. Any kind of movement is excellent, running, hula hooping, hiking, walking, and swimming. Make sure some of it is non-linear movement! Lifting weights is very important for your bones, and cardiovascular exercise is good for the heart. Cardio exercise is an aerobic exercise, meaning that you're exercising just enough to raise your heart rate so that your heart and lungs can keep the oxygen going to your muscles during the exercise. While it does burn calories, it is a work out for your heart muscles and builds your endurance. When you're out of shape, your endurance is lower. And as you build up the endurance, your endurance is higher, and you can sustain that higher heart rate longer. Also, your body needs less high of a heart rate to maintain that exercise as you get in shape. And that's why it's good for the heart muscle. So those cardio exercises are very important to keep your heart muscle happy. And the strength training is really good for those bones.

Anaerobic, for example, weight lifting, means that you cannot keep up with the oxygen needs of the muscles, and they begin to burn. The burning is a build-up of lactic acid. When you weight lift, you tear the muscles, and they grow back stronger and bigger.

When you're out of shape, your endurance is lower. And as you build up your endurance, your endurance is higher, and you can sustain that higher heart rate longer. Also, your body needs less high of a heart rate to maintain that exercise as you get in shape. And that's why it's good for the heart muscle. So those cardio exercises are critical to keep your heart muscle happy. And the strength training is good for those bones.

Movement keeps you feeling good and vital, invigorated, happy, and proud of yourself, which is why it is essential to incorporate some kind of movement into your day. I love walks. I know walks aren't strength training, nor are they cardio, unless I'm going really quickly up a hill, and I try to do that as much as I can. This means I have to also get some cardio and weight training into my routine.

Unfortunately, I stopped exercising when I was in my doctorate program, but I'm just on the edge of getting back to that! In fact, I started a new exercise routine today, so it's perfect that I'm also recording this podcast today. So I'm with you!

More resources than ever

If you're trying to commit to doing something different, it is so easy today because people have Fitbits or Apple watches or something that keeps track of what they're doing. They can track in an app what kind of exercise they do, and keeping track of that helps them stay committed to it.

There are also many exercise videos out there, and some are labeled that they're energy-giving exercises, which I like. One is that you lift yourself up on your toes and put your arms up and down. I'll link to that one in there because it's one of my favorites. It's a whole-body exercise, but it's easy to do. You count that many reps, a task is done, and you get it off your to-do list, plus you feel completely different. Start slow, adding movement to your day, and see if it transforms your entire life. Because I bet you it will.

Having a good posture will change your life.

I want to add here something about posture. Bad posture is a huge problem in the world today. It accompanies sitting or looking at our phones all day and leaning forward. The whole generation of young people and people of my age and all ages are getting increasingly hunched over because we're doing this. We're sitting a lot, and we're looking down at our computers and our phones.

Again, there are so many resources on TikTok to undo that habit of hunching over. They show stretches or movements to help you stand up straighter. Practicing these will contribute to overall health and wellness because your neck and your head will feel better. Your vagus nerve will function better, energizing you during your day.

When positioning your head correctly, think about a string pulling up from the top back of your head. Most people in the U.S. have their heads much more forward than they're supposed to be, putting a lot of weight on the neck muscle. That's why people get headaches so often. So you want to tuck your chin in and back and pull the back of your head up, and then you can have your head on the top of your spinal cord. Try it when you're standing and walking. But also be aware of it when you're sitting. When you're sitting, your hips should be above your knees so that you can "stand up" in your torso. Right? From your sits bones and bottom all the way up, you're sitting on your sitz bones instead of curled over, sitting hunched over in a chair when all your organs are getting smushed. So when you're in a chair, if your hips are above your knees, like I said, and you're "standing up" (sitting upright) in your seat, your organs have enough room to breathe. They have the same amount of space that they have if you're actually standing up. That will keep you healthy, which translates to happier.

P.S. If you widen your legs, you can sit up a little bit straighter, and that should help as well.

Posture when lying down.

Don't curl your body up in a little ball when you are lying down. It's the same problem. You'll spend a lot of time of your day curled in a ball. (1/3 of your life!) When sleeping, ensure your head is aligned with your spine. Put a pillow between your legs or under your arm if you're lying on your side to keep you straight to keep your spine in neutral. Hopefully, it'll help you sleep better (a bonus!), but it'll make you feel much better during the day if you use those precautions.

Well, thank you so much for joining this episode. We went over the word movement versus exercise. We talked about how movement is a win, win, win, win, win endeavor. We reviewed some of the benefits of exercise and the types of movements you can engage in. And I added a little discussion about posture.

Thank you so much for listening to this podcast, "Anxiety, I'm So Done With You!" with me, Dr. Jodi. Please comment and share and leave me five stars on Apple Podcasts. I really appreciate you. And until the next episode, please hang out with me on TikTok and YouTube at Dr. Jodi. The next thing to prioritize is nourishment: Whole nourishment. Read chapter five, section four, and I'll see you there.

Anxiety I’m So Done with You!

en-usAugust 04, 2023

5:2 - Prioritize Energizing Surroundings

Welcome to Season 5, Episode 2, which accompanies Chapter 5, Section 2, “Prioritize Energizing Surrounding.” In this episode, I discuss:

clearing clutter
using colors to change your mood
allowing energy to flow, and
enjoying nature.

You will love this episode because we will connect the space around you to your mental well-being in a way that helps you maximize it in your favor. Learn why it is important to clear extra clutter (because it pulls you down.) Then, get inspired to use colors to express and alter your mood, get energy flowing, and spend time in nature.

Colors can also be an essential way to surround yourself with happy energy. Bright colors can be cheerful, whites may feel sterile, and blues can be calming. Another way to have an active energy flow is to move things around. Even when you don't get rid of items, use the decor in your house to express the intentions you have for your life. Change this when intentions and focuses change. Lastly, ensure you get time in nature since there is nothing else that is as transformative.

“It's hard to get organized and feel safe when you have excessive clutter. And so you attach to things, pull things into you, and keep things and can't get rid of them. When you relax your mind, automatically, you start letting go of items in your physical space. And if you clear your physical space, it has the same effect of helping your mind clear as well. In this episode, we'll focus on ways to clear the clutter in your physical space because that will positively impact your emotional wellness.” - Dr. Jodi Aman

Resources discussed in this episode:

About Dr. Jodi Aman

Therapist | Author | Spiritual Mentor

Dr. Jodi Aman is a Leadership and Spiritual Coach who has spent 25 years as a trauma-informed psychotherapist. She earned a Doctorate in Social Work in ’23, focusing on Leadership, Social Justice, Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion. Social Work acknowledges the person in their environment and understands how humans react to situations. Work with Jodi.

“After 25 years of clinical experience, I feel deep resonance and empathy for the complexities of others’ pain and am compelled to stand against the context of injustice that causes it. Using this keen understanding of how and why people suffer, my unique and varied training, rooted ethics, as well as decades being a trauma-informed psychotherapist, I help sensitive souls release what they don’t want, recover their energetic bandwidth, and grok a socially conscious life of overflowing joy. More about me.”

Her doctorate thesis project addresses the current teen mental health crisis. She is designing a psychoeducational curriculum for improving teen mental health. This program, called COMPASS, will help young people navigate human emotions, giving them the information to understand what is happening and the tools to heal themselves and their communities. If you care about, work with, love, and/or are concerned for teenagers and are worried about the devastating mental health crisis too many of them are living through, you may be interested in my research and plans for this classroom-based, culturally-sensitive curriculum for high school health teachers to facilitate during their mental health units. Watch the video here.

Contact Doctor Jodi:

Keywords:

Dr. Jodi Aman, doctor jodi, doctorjodi, doctorjodiaman, Anxiety I’m So Done With You, anxiety, depression, author, teenager, teen, therapy, anxiety lies, mental health, letting go, let go, embrace letting go, forgive, forgiveness, judgment, self judgment, self-compassion, self-blame, intention setting, set intentions, forgiving, good person, self-confidence, restore relationships, compassion, negative feelings, trauma, PTSD, emotional wellness, PMA, positive mental attitude, good attitude, positive outlook, positive thinking, optimism, self harm, suicide, suicide prevention, self harm alternatives, compassion, self-compassion, healing yourself, loving yourself, relationships, rejection, good relationships, heathy relationships, space, clutter, declutter, clear your space, clear your clutter, home, safety, sanctuary

Season 5 Episode 2 - Prioritize Energizing Surroundings transcript

Hey, you're here with Dr. Jodi, and this is Season 5 of the "Anxiety, I'm So Done With You" podcast. This podcast is a teen and young adult guide to Ditching Toxic Stress and Hardwiring Your Brain for Happiness. If you're new here, grab a copy of my book, Anxiety, I'm So Done With You! because this series is going section by section through it, going a little bit deeper, giving more examples, and telling more stories. This season follows Chapter 5, "Self-Care is the New Health Care." This book promises to 'hardwire your brain for happiness.' This season I deliver on that promise. We focus on seven essential happiness-generating habits, contexts, activities, and practices for you to incorporate into your life to stay healthy, positive, and resilient to whatever life throws your way.

There's a myth at play if you've been feeling bad for a long time. You might think that happy people are lucky and that you are not; that you are different. While context matters to your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health, your context is only partially determined by privilege, genetic expression, and random luck. The rest is determined by you. In this season, I show you how to harness that "you percent," decolonize your self-care, and let your highest potential shine through all of the gook in your life.

Thank you for listening, subscribing, and leaving me five stars on Apple Podcasts. Also, come hang out with me on YouTube and TikTok @DOCTORJODI where I give you practical tips for your brain, body, and spirit. Please spread the word about this book and series because mental health problems are skyrocketing, and I need you to help me turn the tide.

Welcome to Episode 2 of Season 5. Prioritizing Energizing Surroundings.

We're talking about your physical space. What you have around you in your physical space reflects what is in your mind. Also, what's in your mind gets reflected around you. People who have a cluttered mind often have cluttered physical surroundings. Their home, room, bag, or whatever it is, reflects their mind. It works both ways. Sometimes a cluttered house creates that cluttered mind, and sometimes that cluttered mind creates that cluttered room.

It does that because it's hard to get organized and feel safe when you have so much clutter. And so you attach to things, pull things into you, and keep things and can't get rid of them. When you relax your mind, automatically, you start letting go of items in your physical space. And if you clear your physical space, it has the same effect of helping your mind clear as well. In this episode, we'll focus on ways to clear the clutter in your physical space because that will positively impact your emotional wellness.

How many of you have spent energy thinking about or trying to clear your clutter? You may have heard somewhere that clearing clutter helps or you may look around and be like, "Ah, this is overwhelming. I want to get rid of stuff." This is the thing: everything that we have, every physical item that we have in our home or in a room or in our bag or on our person, has an energy attachment to it. That means it takes up a little bit of energy space in our system, in the energy system of our body. And I didn't say "of our body" at first because it's beyond the body, more like the mind (consciousness). It's about our energetic bandwidth.

All of the little things you have, even those scraps of old receipts that are crumpled and you can't even read them because they're faded so much, every single thing takes up some of your energy bandwidth. We don't want to do that anymore. That wastes energy that you could be putting towards something that you want to do. And this isn't woo-woo; this is real science. Studies that were conducted in California, (The Science Behind DeCluttering) discovered that the more cluttered a house is, the more cortisol the family has (the family who lives in the house, even the children).

As you might suspect, the female head of the household has significantly more cortisol than the rest of the family when a house is cluttered. So the more clutter, the more cortisol. Cortisol is a stress hormone. We don't want more cortisol when we don't need it. We want it when we need it. Right? We want cortisol when we need to protect ourselves or save ourselves in a dangerous situation. We don't want it because there's clutter around.

There's been a phenomenon with the Netflix series Marie Kondo. Marie Kondo is a Feng Shui expert https://konmari.com/ from a Netflix series. On the show, families invited her into their homes to help them clear their clutter. And she's just a really beautiful human being. If you watch any of her shows, you really feel that just gorgeous energy about her because she's grateful for everything. She's grateful for everything! And it comes out in her personality. Marie Kondo encourages families with a specific exercise when getting rid of stuff: to thank that object. So say they were trying to go through their clothes and get rid of old clothes. Every single item that they decide to get rid of, they thank it for participating in their life. So a closure ritual happens with each thing as that energy detaches. It's so beautiful. You have to watch it.

When you decide what to keep, what to give away, what to get rid of, she has you hold each object and feel if it's life-giving to you or if it feels like it's zapping your energy and taking away from you. This interests me because I believe that we are all naturally intuitive. We all can read our energy and read the energy of people around us. Some of us are more sensitive to others, and people can build that skill. (BTW, I teach people intuition. I have some adult and teen intuition training classes on my website). But she has you feel it. So you're building your skills and your sensitivity in ways that could help you.

Many of us are sensitive.

This means we feel other people's energy, positive and negative. When it is negative, it affects us by stressing us out. However, we can block it out. (I also teach people how to block it.)

So, Marie Kondo has you hold the object and feel if it gives you, or zaps, your energy. So that's the question. Does it bring you joy or pull you down? I invite you to do this exercise with everything around you. Sometimes your stuff is nice, and you want it, but it zaps your energy. When that happens, give it to somebody else that it might uplift.

And listen, if people give you gifts - this is the myth, really - if people give you gifts, often you think you have to keep that because "somebody gave it to you." Okay, some things are special, work for you, and feel good to you. Keep those. Sometimes people miss what would work for you. They're not great gift-givers. They may have great intentions and they might be beautiful people and they may, you know, really be thoughtful about the gifts that they give you, but it's not something you would want to keep. You can get rid of it. It is not your responsibility to keep something that somebody gave you. You could keep it for a while or do something else with it or give it away. However, please don't keep items that drain your energy just because someone gave it to you. Someone else might like it.

In an old blog post, I delineated eight tips for clearing clutter that I have used for 20 years to keep my house uncluttered.

And it is a funny day to do this episode, to be recording it, because many of you know, my dad just passed away, and we've been cleaning his apartment. And so right now, my office is unusually and significantly cluttered.

8 Tips for Clearing Clutter

1. Touch things once.

When mail comes in, don't stick it in a pile. (Many of you are young, and you're like, "What? I never get anything in the mail." But if you are an adult listening to this, or if you're a teenager, an emerging adult, you are starting to get mail because you are participating in all of these things and you end up getting mail.) Touch it once. Open it, put the envelope in the recycling, and do what you need to do. If you have to pay a bill or if you have to answer somebody, do it right away. This practice keeps the stack of mail down.

When your stack of mail gets bigger and bigger, it can become overwhelming. We're just talking about mail as an example here, but it could be anything. Anything you bring in when you come in the house, for example, whatever you have in your bag. Touch things once in your bag, and put them where they're supposed to go. Have a place for everything and put things where they go. On the top of my stairs, I leave things that have to go downstairs, and on the bottom of my stairs, I leave things that have to go upstairs. So when I go up or down, I bring the items with me.

2 Two hands in, two hands out.

My brother-in-law worked for a restaurant, and that was a rule there. Anyone who went into the kitchen had to have two hands full of empty dishes. Anyone who came out of the kitchen had to have two hands full of plates to deliver to diners. And so "two hands in, two hands out." When I go up the stairs, I bring something up. When I go down, I bring something down. If I go to this side of the house, I bring something, that side, I bring something. One little thing at a time adds up, so I don't have to set aside time to clean the whole house. I'm constantly, as I'm doing other things, bringing things where they belong while I'm going to that corner of the house. Two hands in. Two hands out.

3 Do your dishes as you go along.

You can think of this metaphorically, or you could think of this literally. Do your actual dishes as you go along instead of saving them for days or saving them for a whole day when it is so much harder. Motivating yourself for a task is more energy when you've left it. This could also be a metaphor for other clutter. When you come home, put away everything that you brought with you right away. Empty your bags before you get lost doing something else. You'll feel better, clearer, and more organized. Being organized builds confidence.

If you leave a whole pile of stuff at the door and go in and get a snack and do whatever, later on, it's just going to be overwhelming. When you just do a little bit at a time, it's easier.

4 Complete projects.

When you start a project, it leaves an open window. It's like a tab open on your computer. And the more tabs that are open or the more apps that are open, the slower the system runs. It's the same. The more open circles you have in your mind, the slower you run, right? You're going to run inefficiently. It takes a lot of your bandwidth because you're attached to each of these open circles. Close some circles! Get them off your plate so that you have more energy for the things you want to do.

Some of those projects you want to do, and when you complete them, you feel good about them. Then you can celebrate yourself. This raises your self-esteem. It's a good idea to do close circles by completing projects.

5 Deliver right away.

Say you have something of your friend's. They left something at your house, and you want to return it to them. Give it to them quickly. When you pack a bag of clothes and things to donate, donate it right away. Don't leave it around to add to it. Deliver it and start a new one when you have more items to give away. There are bins where you could put clothes in many church parking lots. It doesn't matter if once a month you take a bag to one of these places; you don't have to wait six months to get five bags and then go. You can take one bag! When you do that, it'll give you the energy for the next task.

The more you do and the more you see what you've done. (I don't mean the more you do, like "Do! Do! Do! Do!" I'm not pro overworking, but when you accomplish something you've set off to accomplish, it gives you the energy for the next task. When you notice that, you'll see yourself as someone who accomplishes things. That's invigorating!

6 Let go of perfection.

Don't do everything. When it comes to clutter, don't think you have to do everything. If you did, it would decrease your chances of organizing until you have all the time in the world to do it perfectly. Perfect isn't real. Perfectionism hurts you. Don't try to do everything. Don't expect your room to be perfect. Just do one thing. You just want to do something. Use the "Two hands in, two hands out" practice. Do one thing and the next thing later. If you leave your room to go into the kitchen to get a snack, bring those empty plates from yesterday or from earlier this morning. Don't leave your room to go into the kitchen without bringing stuff from your room that goes into the kitchen.

Just do one thing. Your room won't be perfect. However, if you have this habit of always bringing stuff with you when you go, it stays manageable, organized, and uncluttered. Most importantly, it never gets overwhelmingly cluttered. When you decide that you're cleaning your room, it is so much easier. In summary, don't try to do everything. Let go of perfectionism. It does not serve you.

7 Limit the use of coupons.

People who were dealing with excess clutter, who had a lot of stuff, were often people who collected coupons. When you collect coupons, you buy things because of the deal, even when you don't need them.

You excuse the expense because you are "saving money," but all too often you spend money that you didn't need to spend. If I end up getting a deal on something I happen to already want to buy, that's great. But if I were attached to the idea of coupons, I would spend more money on things that I didn't need. They would clutter up my house, and I'd have to deal with them again later. So limit the use of coupons!

Coupons are a marketing tactic. The stores win; you do not win. They're getting you into the store, buying more stuff you don't need. If you're trying to clear your clutter, clear coupons. Coupons used to be paper, y'all. Now they're all electronic on your phone. And that's great that the paper is not adding to the clutter. It also can be great if you catch a sale on something you were buying anyway. Perfect. But, don't fall for buying stuff that you don't need.

8 Make recycling easy.

Many things can be recycled that are not recycled. Instead, people throw them into the garbage. When you make recycling easy for yourself, it will be easier. For example, we keep a paper bag in our closet that takes all the paper and cardboard recycling. That way, we don't have to walk out to our recycle bins with every little piece of paper.

Nor do we have to have these huge, dirty recycle bins in our kitchen. We just put it in that bag. It's easy and accessible; it's right there for us. We also have a plastic bag in the same cupboard where we put all the plastic bag recycling. In my city, we can't put that in our recycling bins. We have to take it to a retail store to drop it in that box outside the store that says plastic bag recycling.

It's worth it to me to take this step to avoid it going into a landfill. Once a month, I take it to the store when I'm going to the store anyway. It's merely a tiny effort since we have a system in place. Have a system for the other recycling, too (the cans, bottles, and all that kind of stuff), so you don't have to cross the house with every can or leave a big pile of cans in your kitchen. Make yourself a recycling system.

There you have it; the eight ways to clear clutter and keep it clear in your home.

The next thing I want to talk about in this episode is color. While I'm not an expert on colors, they are frequencies, literally. Frequencies are energy. Some frequencies are healing or harmonizing frequencies. Other frequencies are upsetting, like a loud, disruptive noise.

Beautiful melodies can calm the body, affecting us physically. Everything's a frequency. We can feel it. Our heartbeat, our very heartbeat. Right? Everything that goes on in our body, every object in the world, has a frequency. Bananas have a frequency, colors have a frequency, and apples have a frequency. Some are negative, like smoking, and damage your body.

Colors are frequencies too. There's a whole science of colors, and I am not an expert like I just said. So go ahead and look this up online! Some colors are calming, so they suggest putting them in different office buildings when that is the goal. Different colors have other effects. Bright colors are cheerful, blues are calming, and reds might evoke passion or other intense emotions. Colors do a lot. Think about how you can use that in your favor when deciding what you want to wear, what bedspread you want, the color of your room, or your bag. Anything that has color could affect you. And it's a way of expression.

We use color to express our gender and personality. When you have a room full of colors that go together, align, or are bright or calming, it makes a huge difference. Be intentional about color. Look up color's meanings, and have a lot of fun thinking about how color affects your mental health because it does. (Or your physical health) Use all the resources you possibly can. If you're choosing a color, why not make a choice that matters to you?

Colors affect people differently in various contexts. For example, I have red in my house. I love red. And, when I was first married, we had a red bedroom. Our whole bedroom was bright red. It was really funky. When people come into my house, they often speak of a physical and emotional response to the atmosphere in there––the energy in the house. There are a couple of reasons for that. One is that it is uncluttered, and nothing blocks anything else. The energy flows nicely. One of the things I do to keep energy in flow is by moving things around occasionally.

We used to tease my mom when we were little that she was a "rearrange-aholic" because so often, she liked to rearrange the furniture to see if she could make the room look a little bit better. So I grew up with that modeled to me–that feeling and sense of, "Hmm, what else could you do here?" I have good memories of that problem-solving, fun, or aesthetic interest in creating a more inviting or comfortable space with what I already had. My mom would do this all the time. And so I got this from her.

I move around, not always the big furniture, sometimes once in a while, but mostly the little knick knacks that are displayed at different places. I like to call them "tablescapes" or "counter or cabinet-scapes." Even the beds have a "bedscape," which is the way I decorate with pillows on the bed to make it look all balanced and pretty.

A tablescape is what you put on the coffee table. I often featured something, some symbolic or spiritual thing, intentionally centering it in the room. Sometimes I change it depending on the season, or life events. So if somebody in the family won an award at school or something, I might display it. If there's a holiday, obviously, that's going to affect the decor. I also have some altars around my house that I update and change frequently to keep the energy from stagnating. I'll put some resources in this blog post as well about how to create an altar for yourself.

Basically, everything, your whole house, can be considered an altar to good energy, happiness, or things that bring you joy. Think about that. Also, the jewelry or clothes you wear! Your body is a temple, so wouldn't your jewelry be a decoration on an altar of your higher self? How you want to express yourself in your house is the same, and your room and your bag, too.

Your bag? It can get really cluttered. It can get very, very cluttered. Try to maintain it. Keep it clean because it is an altar to your tasks, your school goals, your job, and other intentions. Think about everything as an altar to this life––to what's important to you. Photographs represent people you love or great memories. Symbols, like elephants, can represent things you want to bring into your life, like Divine Love. Do you have any elephants in your house? And what do they mean to you?

Move things around according to the season or to, what you're highlighting or what's important to you in the moment. If you are starting a new relationship or want one, you might put symbols of love around, like birds in pairs around or little hearts.

You could think about the season of the year, but also more than that. Think about what kind of season it is in your life. For example, my husband just retired, and we have the goodbye cards from his team hanging on our fridge and an award he just received on a shelf in the dining room. And, when my daughter graduated from high school, we had little mementos from her time in school displayed at different places around the house—that kind of thing.

We're almost done with this episode, but the last thing I wanted to mention is nature. When you're thinking about energizing surroundings, you want to make sure that you spend some time in nature. If you are in a city and you can't be outside, take some rocks inside your house. I have rocks under my desk that I could put my feet on. Or you can have plants because plants bring nature inside. They help you connect. You can breathe near the plants and talk to the plants. But I also spend a lot of time outside. If you're in an urban area, find some green space. There's usually green space somewhere in an urban metropolis, and hopefully, you have something near you, even if it's a little tree. When I spend some time in a city, a tree coming out of the sidewalk is where I make my daily gratitude offerings.

I offer a bit of water, tea, food, or a flower to the ground in the morning around gratitude or an intention for the day so that my gratitude and or intention blesses the Earth too. So everything I do, I would like to have that blessing overflow onto the Earth, my community, my family, and more. The practice helps me feel connected with my surroundings.

Also, when you walk in the woods, it can be altering. It's energetically altering for that day but over time it's sustainable because, if you often take walks like that, it becomes a touchstone for you. Then, you'll be able to connect with being in nature when you close your eyes. And it's so profoundly healing. They've done a lot of studies about being out in nature and the effects that that has. Find some time outside if you can!

I love looking at plants. There are so many different kinds. When I'm walking in a neighborhood, I look at what people have in their gardens and how they display plants outside. I'm fascinated by them. When I travel, the plants are so different from where I live. There are many textures, sizes, and colors. Even the green varies.

Take this as your invitation to relook at plants and see if they fascinate you when you look closer, just like they fascinate me because aesthetic beauty heals. Beauty is relative, so it depends on your tastes and your preferences. But if you're pleased, you heal. I will add to that invitation because I want you to look at your surroundings. Take a look at what you think is beautiful. You could look at plants and see if you fall in love with them like I do. But take a look all around your surroundings and see what it is you do like.

What gives you pleasure? What makes you say, "Wow, that is beautiful." If you're sitting and looking at water or sunset, or the sky, and it is beautiful, you are profoundly altered by that in positive ways. (It doesn't feel profound all the time. Sometimes it feels subtle.)

When you look at a sunset, you realize that the world is bigger than you. Your small problem seems smaller, and you might feel better and have more hope. Beauty brings us hope. It makes us feel worthy. It's interesting. You know, there are so many things outside of us that we reflect our worth to us. If you're looking at a sunset, you're might think, "How do I get so lucky to look at this beautiful thing?" It could be unconscious or conscious, but it can fill us up. We have the benefits of feeling that worthiness when we see something beautiful. So I offer that to you.

Thank you so much for listening to this episode about prioritizing energizing surroundings. I'm so glad that you're here with me and this podcast, "Anxiety, I'm So Done With You!"

Are you done with your anxiety? I hope you're feeling good now that we're bringing some happiness habits into your life. In this episode, we talked about

clearing your clutter
colors
moving things around, and
enjoying nature.

Get ready for Episode 3: Prioritizing Movement. I got a lot for you there. In the meantime, subscribe to my channel. Leave me a comment, and leave me five stars on Apple Podcasts. And please hang out with me on YouTube and TikTok @doctorjodi. Check out the blog post for this episode with more resources for you. You can find that at JodiAman.com/5-2. I'm looking forward to seeing you on episode three about prioritizing movement. Read that section, and I'll see you there.

2 Two hands in, two hands out.

My brother-in-law worked for a restaurant, and that was a rule there. Anyone who went into the kitchen had to have two hands full of empty dishes. Anyone who came out of the kitchen had to have two hands full of plates to deliver to diners. And so "two hands in, two hands out." When I go up the stairs, I bring something up. When I go down, I bring something down. If I go to this side of the house, I bring something, that side, I bring something. One little thing at a time adds up, so I don't have to set aside time to clean the whole house. I'm constantly, as I'm doing other things, bringing things where they belong while I'm going to that corner of the house. Two hands in. Two hands out.

3 Do your dishes as you go along.

You can think of this metaphorically, or you could think of this literally. Do your actual dishes as you go along instead of saving them for days or saving them for a whole day when it is so much harder. Motivating yourself for a task is more energy when you've left it. This could also be a metaphor for other clutter. When you come home, put away everything that you brought with you right away. Empty your bags before you get lost doing something else. You'll feel better, clearer, and more organized. Being organized builds confidence.

If you leave a whole pile of stuff at the door and go in and get a snack and do whatever, later on, it's just going to be overwhelming. When you just do a little bit at a time, it's easier.

4 Complete projects.

When you start a project, it leaves an open window. It's like a tab open on your computer. And the more tabs that are open or the more apps that are open, the slower the system runs. It's the same. The more open circles you have in your mind, the slower you run, right? You're going to run inefficiently. It takes a lot of your bandwidth because you're attached to each of these open circles. Close some circles! Get them off your plate so that you have more energy for the things you want to do.

Some of those projects you want to do, and when you complete them, you feel good about them. Then you can celebrate yourself. This raises your self-esteem. It's a good idea to do close circles by completing projects.

5 Deliver right away.

Say you have something of your friend's. They left something at your house, and you want to return it to them. Give it to them quickly.

When you pack a bag of clothes and things to donate, donate it right away. Don't leave it around to add to it. Deliver it and start a new one when you have more items to give away. There are bins where you could put clothes in many church parking lots. It doesn't matter if once a month you take a bag to one of these places; you don't have to wait six months to get five bags and then go. You can take one bag! When you do that, it'll give you the energy for the next task.

The more you do and the more you see what you've done. (I don't mean the more you do, like "Do! Do! Do! Do!" I'm not pro overworking, but when you accomplish something you've set off to accomplish, it gives you the energy for the next task. When you notice that, you'll see yourself as someone who accomplishes things. That's invigorating!

6 Let go of perfection.

Don't do everything. When it comes to clutter, don't think you have to do everything. If you did, it would decrease your chances of organizing until you have all the time in the world to do it perfectly. Perfect isn't real. Perfectionism hurts you. Don't try to do everything. Don't expect your room to be perfect. Just do one thing. You just want to do something. Use the "Two hands in, two hands out" practice. Do one thing and the next thing later. If you leave your room to go into the kitchen to get a snack, bring those empty plates from yesterday or from earlier this morning. Don't leave your room to go into the kitchen without bringing stuff from your room that goes into the kitchen.

Just do one thing. Your room won't be perfect. However, if you have this habit of always bringing stuff with you when you go, it stays manageable, organized, and uncluttered. Most importantly, it never gets overwhelmingly cluttered. When you decide that you're cleaning your room, it is so much easier. In summary, don't try to do everything. Let go of perfectionism. It does not serve you.

7 Limit the use of coupons. I