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    7+ Powerful Habits To Avoid Loneliness, Feel Connected And Build Authentic Community

    enSeptember 01, 2023

    About this Episode

    Ever find yourself yearning for a deeper bond with those around you?  

    Creating deeper connections doesn't have to be an exhausting or daunting task.

    We can still create connections in the simplest most ordinary ways if we make time for it and show sincerity. 

    From the hustle and bustle of everyday life to the moments of solitude, we'll uncover the secrets to forging relationships that stand the test of time. Your social life doesn't have to feel like a performance – let's make it a celebration.

    Let's explore how broadening your emotional language can be the key to unlocking a world of deeper connections. Say goodbye to surface-level chatter and say hello to discussions that spark genuine connections. From sharing smiles with strangers to using technology to our advantage, each habit is a stepping stone to deeper relationships. 

    In this episode, you'll learn:

    • How to bridge connection gap
    • How to tune into yourself before making connections
    • How to be more vocal about your emotions
    • How to make new memories with old friends
    • How to start engaging conversations

    Hope you're able to genuinely connect with someone today. Let's make every connection count!

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    • 00:00 Intro
    • 01:36 Do you sometimes feel lonely, or disconnected from the people around you?
    • 07:58 Habit #1: Check in with yourself - Does your social life start to feel like work or when your social life feels like it's non-existent?
    • 14:14 Habit #2: Expand your emotional vocabulary -  If you wanna see, hear, and understand and value other people better, you need to expand your emotional vocabulary
    • 17:56 Habit #3: Old new and new old - While we use nostalgia to build connection, try to build new memories with an old friend
    • 20:44 Habit #4: Ask interesting questions - Go for more open and fascinating questions that won’t pressure other people to answer
    • 23:05 Habit #5: Deep versus shallow time - Take the time to invest in creating a small group where you can build deeper connections 
    • 26:07 Habit #6: Look for patterns and connections where others don’t see them
    • 27:20 Habit #7: Smile at strangers and say hello creates an energy for small moments of connection
    • 28:40 Habit #8: Use technology to your advantage and connect with people you haven’t talked with in a while or reconnect with them anytime
    • 30:04 Habit #9: Giving creates connect - When you give someone a part of you, a piece of you, a truth about you, it allows you to connect with them
    • 30:52 Habit #10: Invite people for ordinary tasks - It’s okay to spend time with people in boring ways and connect with them
    • 31:34 Habit #11: Connecting with people in all ages 

    Want to be a Jay Shetty Certified Life Coach? Get the Digital Guide and Workbook from Jay Shetty https://jayshettypurpose.com/fb-getting-started-as-a-life-coach-podcast/

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    🔑 Key Takeaways

    • Genuine and sincere connections are vital in combating loneliness and cultivating meaningful relationships. Prioritizing quality over quantity is essential for feeling seen, heard, understood, and valued.
    • Building deep and meaningful relationships is crucial for our mental and physical health, and utilizing technology can help us stay connected and enhance our overall well-being.
    • Checking our social energy levels and prioritizing our own feelings while also actively connecting with others leads to balanced and fulfilling social interactions.
    • By expanding our emotional vocabulary and actively creating new experiences in relationships, we can effectively express ourselves, deepen connections, and cultivate meaningful conversations with both old and new acquaintances.
    • Asking thought-provoking questions can deepen connections and foster meaningful conversations, while prioritizing smaller groups and one-on-one interactions creates stronger relationships.
    • Creating deep relationships requires genuine effort and recognizing the interconnectedness of our lives. Small acts of kindness, utilizing technology, and investing time in others can foster a sense of community and authentic connection.
    • Consistently investing effort to connect through meaningful conversations and acts of vulnerability can combat loneliness, enrich our lives, and build authentic communities.

    📝 Podcast Summary

    The importance of true connection and combating loneliness.

    Feeling connected is a natural and normal desire for all of us. However, it's important to understand what true connection means. It means being seen, heard, understood, and valued, while also making others feel the same way. Unfortunately, many people struggle with feelings of loneliness and disconnection. The statistics show that a significant percentage of Americans do not have a best friend or meaningful relationships with others. We have become so focused on quantity that we have lost the depth of connection. Even when surrounded by people, many report feeling disconnected and unfulfilled. Factors such as changing lifestyles, increased mobility, and being left out in the past also contribute to these feelings. It's vital for us to prioritize sincere and genuine connection in order to combat loneliness and cultivate genuine relationships.

    The importance of human connection and its impact on our well-being.

    Human connection is essential for our mental and physical well-being. Many people experience shyness and social anxiety, leading to difficulties in making friends and feeling understood. However, studies have shown that prolonged isolation and loneliness can have severe health risks, equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Deep, meaningful relationships fulfill our innate need to belong and provide support, authenticity, and a sense of safety. To improve our connections, we can make use of technology and various methods of staying connected, such as video conferencing, emailing, texting, and calling. Taking the time to check in with ourselves and actively seek out connection can greatly enhance our overall well-being.

    Self-awareness and mutual effort for balanced social connections

    It is crucial to periodically check in with ourselves to determine our social energy levels. We often experience moments of either overextending or under-extending ourselves, resulting in feelings of loneliness or being overworked. Achieving a balanced state is not solely based on the amount of time spent with others, but rather how we feel energetically. It is important to be self-aware and ask ourselves if we feel charged or drained when considering spending time with others. We should base our decisions on our own feelings rather than external factors. Additionally, expanding our emotional vocabulary is essential for understanding ourselves and others better. Connecting with others should be a mutual effort and involves making others feel heard, understood, and included. When we proactively embrace and enhance someone else's experience, we also feel more connected ourselves.

    The Power of Expanding Your Emotional Vocabulary and Fostering New Experiences in Relationships

    Expanding your emotional vocabulary is crucial for deeper self-understanding and stronger connections with others. By recognizing and articulating the specific emotions we feel, rather than using generic terms like "happy" or "upset," we can better express ourselves and be understood by others. This allows for more meaningful conversations where we can effectively communicate our needs and seek support. Additionally, fostering new memories in relationships is essential for growth and connection. Instead of relying solely on nostalgia, actively create new experiences and discover new aspects of old friends. Similarly, when meeting new people, seek out common points of connection rooted in shared experiences or backgrounds. This approach enriches relationships and cultivates deeper connections with both old and new acquaintances.

    Creating Meaningful Connections through Thought-Provoking Questions

    Asking interesting questions is crucial for creating meaningful connections. When we ask generic questions like "What did you do today?" or "How was your week?", the conversation becomes uninteresting and we appear uninterested. This applies not just to new connections, but also to the people we see regularly. It's important to disrupt the pattern of conversation and surprise the other person with thought-provoking questions. This allows them to reflect, dive into new topics, and experience introspection. Additionally, prioritizing deep connections over shallow ones is essential. Spending time with people in large groups often results in shallow interactions, leaving us feeling torn and disconnected. Instead, focusing on smaller groups or one-on-one conversations can foster a stronger sense of connection.

    Fostering Meaningful Connections in Everyday Life

    Creating deep connections in our social lives is essential. We often engage in shallow, surface-level conversations because we fail to create an environment for meaningful connections. By taking the initiative to invite someone over and genuinely spending time with them, we can foster deeper relationships. Additionally, it's crucial to look for patterns and connections in our lives instead of viewing them as disconnected segments. By understanding that our well-being at work affects our well-being at home and vice versa, we can create a harmonious balance. Furthermore, small acts like smiling at strangers and saying hello can generate a wave of connection and open doors to meaningful conversations. Utilizing technology can also be beneficial in maintaining relationships and reconnecting with friends who may be far away. By scheduling calls or using online platforms to play games, we can bridge the gap and feel reconnected. Ultimately, it's the small moments and efforts that add up to create a sense of community and authentic connection in our lives.

    Building authentic connections for a fulfilled life

    Building and maintaining connections requires consistent effort and willingness to step out of our comfort zones. It's easy to keep postponing connection and rely on messaging, but making the extra effort to engage in video calls or phone conversations can make a significant difference. Giving, not just through gifts but also through acts of vulnerability, allows for deeper connections with others. Additionally, inviting people to join in on ordinary tasks can lead to meaningful conversations and bonding. Connecting with people of all ages and backgrounds enriches our lives and helps us feel more complete. By practicing these habits, we can combat loneliness and build authentic communities.

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    Are you struggling with finding someone to talk to?

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    14:31 #3: Get Better At The Things You’re Good At

    17:13 #4: Coloring Books Helps Your Mind Relax

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    22:05 #6: Sugary Foods Weakens the Body’s Response to Stress

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    This interview took place at Soho Home at Soho Works 55 Water. 

    With Love and Gratitude,

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    You can pre-order Charlamagne’s latest book, Get Honest or Die Lying here: https://www.simonandschuster.com/p/get-honest-or-die-lying-preorder

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    04:16 Biggest Misconceptions About Ozempic

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    19:42 ‘I Don’t Feel Hungry’

    28:17 The Benefits and Risks of Weight Loss Drugs

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    47:09 Advocating for Body Positivity

    54:14 Is the Fast Food Industry Shrinking?

    57:26 Big Risks When Taking Ozempic

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    01:14:18 The Most Horrific Side Effect Recorded

    01:16:11 Is Ozempic Safe for Kids?

    01:19:22 Oprah’s Ozempic Challenge

    01:22:50 Is It Cheating?

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    01:27:30 How Japan Is Able to Control Obesity

    01:37:01 The Cultural Models We Can Learn from Japan

    01:40:23 Better Eating Habits is Still Necessary

    01:42:52 Johan in Final Five  

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    You can pre-order Charlamagne’s latest book, Get Honest or Die Lying here: https://www.simonandschuster.com/p/get-honest-or-die-lying-preorder

    This interview was held at Soho Home at Soho Works 55 Water.

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    05:15 Be Honest About Your Feelings

    08:00 How Do You Stop Being Offended?

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    12:14 Not Setting Proper Boundaries

    13:32 Stop Being a People Pleaser

    16:50 Online Oversharing

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    23:33 Passing Judgment on People We Don’t Know 

    29:09 Confronting a Cheating Father

    34:48 In-Tune with Your Visions

    39:21 Why Some Things Don’t Work

    42:36 Successful But Unhappy

    01:03:10 Don’t Make a Decision Based on Emotion

    01:06:32 Don’t Confine Yourself In Small Boxes

    01:13:24 Honest Conversations with Your Kids

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    01:39:20 Getting Into Your Light Energy

    01:42:44 Laura on Final Five

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    With Love and Gratitude,

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    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

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    03:08 Built to Have Fun

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    07:16 Celibacy

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    15:41 Do You Believe in Past Life?

    18:06 Who Do You Want to Date?

    20:10 Growing Your Own Garden

    22:48 Growing with a Creative Mind

    25:05 Worst Thing About Being Me

    29:11 Dealing with Online Hate

    31:36 She’s Not My Mom Anymore

    37:46 Processing and Dealing with Grief

    43:36 Resenting and Forgiving My Father

    48:46 The Phone Call with My Dad

    55:24 Let’s Understand People’s Stories

    57:59 Self Care is a Process

    01:02:15 My Father Was Sick

    01:05:07 Make Home in Your Childhood Community

    01:10:29 The Love to Entertain People

    01:18:07 What Would Little T be Proud Of?

    01:20:24 Childhood Dreams

    01:25:09 TIffany on Final Five

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    Why You Are Restricting Your Desires in Your Relationship & How to Stop Blocking Yourself from the Happiness You Deserve with Lisa Bilyeu

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    How to prioritize personal growth

    How to handle fear of judgment

    How to transform relationships

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    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    00:00 Intro

    03:32 How Do You Define Confidence?

    06:54 Believe You’re Capable

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    16:13 The Frame of Reference

    19:36 Everything Is A Risk

    27:42 Non-Negotiables in Relationships

    34:41 Conversations That Don’t Break Relationships

    41:30 Who Leads, Who Follows

    49:26 Conflicting Value System

    54:57 Don’t Assume, Find a Compromise

    59:21 Growth Mindset With Your Partner

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Matthew Hussey: 5 Reasons Why There is No Such Thing As The Right Person At The Wrong Time & How to Stop Missing Your Ex

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    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

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    00:00 Intro

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    10:34 What Differentiates a Peaceful to a Boring Relationship?

    19:35 What Are Your Must-Haves in a Relationship?

    31:47 Tactics Are Different From Relationship Standards

    39:59 Egoic Standards Versus Setting Standards for Happiness

    51:20 Practice Having Real and Difficult Conversations

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    01:08:25 Is Your Partner the Right One for You?

    01:15:05 Dealing with the Different Phases of Heartbreak

    01:26:31 What’s Next for Matthew?    

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    7 Ways to Reduce the Time You Spend Overthinking & Make Better Decisions Quicker

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    How to manage alarmed responses

    How to use physical movement for mental clarity

    How to focus on positives and small wins

    Don't let overthinking hold you back! Start implementing these strategies today and take control of your mental space.

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

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    00:00 Intro

    00:52 Has Overthinking Slowed You Down?

    07:53 The Science Behind Overthinking

    10:50 #1: Overthinking as a Problem-Solving Approach

    14:24 #2: Don’t Ask Too Many People For Their Opinion

    18:19 #3: Avoid Responding While You’re Feeling Alarmed

    19:17 #4: Move Your Body When Your Mind Is Stuck

    20:32 #5: Focus on the Good Thing and Small Wins

    22:05 #6: Spontaneous Drawings Relieve Psychological Stress

    24:23 #7: Go Back to Analog

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Orlando Bloom: 3 Reasons Why You Need to Allow Yourself to Make Mistakes & Shift Your Perspective on Fear

    Orlando Bloom: 3 Reasons Why You Need to Allow Yourself to Make Mistakes & Shift Your Perspective on Fear

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    Do you want to shift your perspective on fear? 

    Today, let’s welcome the one and only Orlando Bloom. Orlando gained widespread fame for his roles in some of the most popular films including The Lord of the Rings trilogy and Pirates of the Caribbean series. He will be seen starring in Peacock's limited adventure docuseries, To The Edge, which he also produced. Off-screen, Orlando is known for his humanitarian efforts, including his work as a UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador.

    Orlando shares insights from his life as an actor, adventurer, and someone deeply involved in spirituality. He talks about how meditation and mindfulness help him stay balanced despite the hectic nature of being a celebrity, his views on masculinity, the importance of embracing both masculine and feminine qualities, and striving for balance and introspection in life. We also get to hear stories about facing and overcoming fears, embracing vulnerability, and the lessons he's learned from these challenges. This episode isn't just about getting to know a renowned actor but diving into the personal journey of a man who is constantly looking for deeper meaning and connections in life.

    In this interview, you’ll learn:
    How to overcome fear
    How to maintain balance in a hectic life
    How to incorporate mindfulness into everyday activities
    How to explore and embrace different aspects of your personality
    How to use life's challenges as growth opportunities

    Tune in now for a discussion full of insights on overcoming fears, embracing spirituality, and pursuing personal growth.  

    With Love and Gratitude,
    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:
    02:28 Working in an Unscripted Space
    06:09 What’s Your Earliest Childhood Fear?
    08:35 Practicing Buddhism
    13:49 The Lotus Sutra
    20:16 The 8 Wins
    26:28 Trusting Your Life and Becoming Capable
    36:33 Being Present While on the Edge
    44:48 Any Moment Could Be Your Last
    45:43 The Deepest Mirror You’ll Ever Have
    48:58 What Did You Learn from Your Past Relationships?
    51:22 Introducing Buddhism Practice to My Kids
    55:33 Whatever You’re Saying, You Become
    01:02:22 Loving the Parenting Journey
    01:07:16 The Impacts of Your Decisions
    01:09:13 Opportunities Through Obstacles
    01:17:40 Buddhism Is My Anchor
    01:18:59 The Fear You’re Currently Overcoming
    01:26:04 Orlando Bloom on Final Five

    Episode Resources:

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