Ask a Matchmaker

Cara Alwill is a New York City based creative entrepreneur who encourages women to live their most effervescent lives, celebrate themselves every day, and make their happiness a priority. She is a best selling personal development author, mentor to women entrepreneurs, and creator of The Champagne Diet blog. Over 10 million listeners worldwide tune in to Cara’s podcast Style Your Mind each week for powerful conversations and a mega dose of inspiration. Cara is the author of 9 best selling books, including the worldwide sensation Girl Code, that have inspired women around the world to step into their power and fulfill their potential. Cara’s books have been translated into multiple languages like Russian, Chinese, Portuguese, Mongolian, and Vietnamese. Her message continues to transcend cultures and break barriers for women across the globe.  

NEW STUDIO!!! Of course, I had to get my work husband and fellow matchmaker, Louie Felix to kick off my first episode in studio. We take your hotline questions, discuss why men are constantly thinking about the Roman Empire, chat GPT, dating advice, and more! INDULGE!

It’s the end of the season and Maria wraps it up with a chat with her husband, George! They talk about the latest Agape Retreat in Greece and the future of upcoming events as well as the importance of dating each other even when you’re married.

Plus, Maria has some homework for you before the final season... it's the Five Fives Challenge!

-Contact five friends — not your core friend group, but in your periphery or acquaintances, and ask them to set you up once before Labor Day.

-Download Tinder (Stop grumbling.. just trust me) and go out with five guys before Labor Day.

-Find Five events on Eventbrite to attend before Labor Day. (It’s okay if it’s a cooking class or a tech event or a lecture… just five five events!)

-If you don’t attend church/temple/synagog, invite yourself to your friends Shabbat or go to your local soup kitchen or community center and volunteer five times before Labor Day. (If you do attend church/synagog/temple.. there ya go. go five times before Labor Day.)

-Go up to five guys and just say hello and start talking.

Follow George on Instagram at http://instagram.com/nerdmeetsfood

Follow George on TikTok at http://tiktok.com@nerdmeetsfood 

Follow Maria on Instagram at http://instagram.com/matchmakermaria

*****Let's work together!*****

Book your dating assessment: https://calendly.com/felix-louie/dating-assessment?back=1&month=2023-07

Enroll in an upcoming Agape Intensive: http://agapeintensive.com 

Pre-Register for Greece 2024 Retreat http://agapeescapes.com 

Maria is joined once again by Melanie Cooke to take your questions on the hotline. If you want to ask Maria question on a future episode, follow her on Instagram to know when the hotline will open up again: http://instagram.com/matchmakermaria 

Melanie Cooke is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) and private practice owner. She works with high performers who are outwardly successful, but struggle with feelings of dissatisfaction, emptiness, and confusion--who feel that something is missing and who want to feel whole, but don't know how to. She helps them better understand their emotions, establish boundaries, balance control with acceptance, and work through conflict in order to have more fulfilling relationships. She practices trauma-informed Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Gestalt therapies, along with body based mindfulness because our emotions, fears, and wounds are as much in our bodies as they are in our minds. So is healing.

Learn more about Melanie at https://www.melaniecookelmhc.com/

*****Let's work together!*****

Let’s work together! https://calendly.com/felix-louie 

Register for our Tulum retreat! http://agapeescapes.com (a few spots left!)

or join an upcoming virtual  Intensive! https://agapematch.com/agape-group-coaching-intensive/  

Follow Maria on instagram at http://instagram.com/matchmakermaria 

A new documentary on Amazon Prime “Shiny Happy People”  about the Duggar family has been sparking up conversations about the Institute in Basic Life Principles, or IBLP. 

Today, Maria talks to an anonymous guest who grew up in IBLP and how it affected her life. She talks about her cheating husband, what it was like when she had to have an abortion and what she’s doing now moving forward.

WaPo article referenced in episode: https://www.washingtonpost.com/education/interactive/2023/christian-home-schoolers-revolt/

*****Let's work together!*****

Let’s work together! https://calendly.com/felix-louie 

Register for our Tulum retreat! http://agapeescapes.com (a few spots left!)

or join an upcoming virtual  Intensive! https://agapematch.com/agape-group-coaching-intensive/  

Follow Maria on instagram at http://instagram.com/matchmakermaria 

Drinking culture is prevalent in society and especially dating. Sarah Levy decided she wanted to take control of her life and stopped drinking. She wrote a book about it and joins Maria to tell her story! Plus she talks about having a long distance relationship with a guy she met on the other side of the country, who is now her husband! 

Sarah Levy is a writer and the author of Drinking Games, a memoir in essays that explores the role alcohol has in our formative years and what it means to opt out of a culture completely enmeshed in drinking. Drinking Games was named a most anticipated book by Good Morning America, The Los Angeles Times, The New York Post, BuzzFeed, Apple Books, and Pure Wow and has been featured on “Best Of” lists by Glamour, Goodreads, and more.

Sarah’s writing explores sobriety, relationships, culture, and identity and has been published by The New York Times, The Cut, Cosmopolitan, Cup of Jo, Vogue, and TIME, among other outlets. She is a graduate of Brown University, where she studied English and Creative Writing.

Get a copy of “Drinking Games: A Memoir” at https://amzn.to/3N0NON3 

Follow Sarah on…

Instagram: http://instagram.com/sarahllevy 

Twitter: http://twitter.com/sarahliliane 

Learn more about Sarah at www.sarahllevy.com 

*****Let's work together!*****

Let’s work together! https://calendly.com/felix-louie 

Register for our Tulum retreat! http://agapeescapes.com (a few spots left!)

or join an upcoming virtual  Intensive! https://agapematch.com/agape-group-coaching-intensive/  

Follow Maria on instagram at http://instagram.com/matchmakermaria 

You have questions, Maria has answers! It’s another hotline edition! If you want to chat with Maria on an upcoming episode, follow her on Instagram so you know when the hotline opens next: http://instagram.com/matchmakermaria 

This week on the hotline…

• The mindset to have if you’re dating while living with your parents. (it’s okay!)
• They were supposed to have a mini golf date this weekend, but he never finished planning it! Maria tells our caller what to say and texts him live on the show!
• She’s in her 40s and having a hard time finding men on the apps.
• It’s their anniversary and she’s upset that he hasn’t made a grand gesture about it.

*****Let's work together!*****

Let’s work together! https://calendly.com/felix-louie 

Register for our Tulum retreat! http://agapeescapes.com (a few spots left!)

or join an upcoming virtual  Intensive! https://agapematch.com/agape-group-coaching-intensive/  

Follow Maria on instagram at http://instagram.com/matchmakermaria 

This week, Maria sits down with Melanie Cooke and has a deep conversation into attachment theory. You’ll learn the different types of attachment, how avoidant attachment is prevalent in today’s dating environment and what you can do to make sure you are your best for a healthy relationship. 

Melanie Cooke is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) and private practice owner. She works with high performers who are outwardly successful, but struggle with feelings of dissatisfaction, emptiness, and confusion--who feel that something is missing and who want to feel whole, but don't know how to. She helps them better understand their emotions, establish boundaries, balance control with acceptance, and work through conflict in order to have more fulfilling relationships. She practices trauma-informed Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Gestalt therapies, along with body based mindfulness because our emotions, fears, and wounds are as much in our bodies as they are in our minds. So is healing.

Learn more about Melanie at https://www.melaniecookelmhc.com/

Join Maria and Melanie on the next Hotline - Wednesday, July 5: https://agapematch.wufoo.com/forms/z1ou628l1vanjkl/

*****Let's work together!*****

Let’s work together! https://calendly.com/felix-louie 

Register for our Tulum retreat! http://agapeescapes.com (a few spots left!)

or join an upcoming virtual  Intensive! https://agapematch.com/agape-group-coaching-intensive/  

Follow Maria on instagram at http://instagram.com/matchmakermaria 

Tinder just came out with a (gorgeous looking!) report called The Future of Dating 2023, looking at dating trends and what Gen Z thinks of online dating. Here to decode the data is Erika Ettin.

Erika Ettin is an online dating expert and dating coach who helps people navigate the world of online dating. Her expertise includes profile creation, photo selection and photography, message writing, and date planning. She is also the author of the book Love at First Site: Tips & Tales for Online Dating Success from a Modern-Day Matchmaker and the co-host of the popular dating podcast “So, We Met Online…”

Check out The Future of Dating Report here: https://filecache.mediaroom.com/mr5mr_tinder/179342/Copy_of_FOD_Report_2023_FINAL.pdf 

Find Erika on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/ALittleNudge/ 

*****Let's work together!*****

Let’s work together! https://calendly.com/felix-louie 

Register for our Tulum retreat! http://agapeescapes.com (a few spots left!)

or join an upcoming virtual Intensive! https://agapematch.com/agape-group-coaching-intensive/  

Follow Maria on instagram at http://instagram.com/matchmakermaria 

Why are women freezing their eggs in record numbers? Talking about this important subject this week is Professor Marcia C. Inhorn. She is a Professor of Anthropology and International Affairs at Yale University and author of Cosmopolitan Conceptions: IVF Sojourns in Global Dubai.

Her new book, Motherhood on Ice: The Mating Gap and Why Women Freeze Their Eggs, explores this question by drawing on the stories of more than 150 women who pursued fertility preservation technology. Moving between narratives of pain and empowerment, these nuanced personal stories reveal the complexity of women’s lives as they struggle to preserve and extend their fertility.

You can find where to get a copy of “Motherhood on Ice: The Mating Gap and Why Women Freeze Their Eggs” at https://nyupress.org/9781479813049/motherhood-on-ice/ 

*****Let's work together!*****

Let’s work together! https://calendly.com/felix-louie 

Follow Maria on instagram at http://instagram.com/matchmakermaria 

And join an upcoming Intensive! https://agapematch.com/agape-group-coaching-intensive/  

Or register for our Tulum retreat! http://agapeescapes.com 

What if you could make friends with your anxiety? What if you could learn to leverage your anxiety to be a gift? We look at anxiety as such a bad thing, but so often our anxiety is trying to tell us something. Learning how to harness that can be a game changer. 

This week’s conversation could help you change your life.

Dr. Wendy A. Suzuki is a Professor of Neural Science and Psychology in the Center for Neural Science at New York University. Her TED talk has over 31 million views and was the 2nd most viewed ted talk of 2018. She’s the author of “Healthy Brain, Happy Life” and “Good Anxiety” which is now available wherever books are sold. 

Learn more about Dr. Suzuki’s work at…

https://www.goodanxiety.com/

https://www.wendysuzuki.com/

Follow Dr. Suzuki on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/wendy.suzuki/ 

*****Let's work together!*****

Is matchmaking right for you? Let’s find out!  https://calendly.com/felix-louie 

Follow Maria on instagram at http://instagram.com/matchmakermaria 

And join an upcoming Intensive! https://agapematch.com/agape-group-coaching-intensive/  

This week’s guests are Drs. Glenn and Phyllis Hill.

Dr Glenn & Phyllis Hill spent the first 30 years of their marriage living in disconnect. Their first sexual experience sent them into years of avoidance and pain. Dr Glenn was so determined to find out what went wrong that he went back to school & became a Marriage & Family Therapist and a Clinical Sexologist. But, it wasn't until he dug deep into emotional regulation where he discovered the source of all of their disconnect.

From there, Dr Glenn & Phyllis created The Connection Codes which is a framework to help couples connect emotionally and physically using their 4 minute tool. Now, they are authors, speakers, and have Connection Coders in over 50 countries who are living in peace in their relationships.

Download the Core Emotion Wheel, THE tool to conquer conflict in just 4 minutes for FREE at https://www.connectioncodes.co/matchmaker 

Learn more about the Connection Codes at https://www.connectioncodes.co/ 

Pick up a copy of “The Connection Codes: The Blueprint & Tools for Creating the Relationships You Crave” at https://www.amazon.com/Connection-Codes-Blueprint-Creating-Relationships/dp/B09BSKMCJM/ 

Follow on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/connectioncodes/ 

*****Let's work together!*****

Is matchmaking right for you? Let’s find out!  https://calendly.com/felix-louie 

Follow Maria on instagram at http://instagram.com/matchmakermaria 

And join an upcoming Intensive! https://agapematch.com/agape-group-coaching-intensive/  

***Matchmaker Maria’s Eurovision Party in NYC this weekend, Saturday, May 13! Get tickets now! https://www.eventbrite.com/e/matchmaker-marias-eurovision-party-tickets-617316860347 ***

This week on the hotline, Maria is joined by her BFF and fellow matchmaker, Laurie Berzack! She’s the founder of Carolinas Matchmaker and the host of the Love on the Go podcast.

Read the VOX article mentioned in the episode: https://www.vox.com/policy/2023/5/3/23707936/surgeon-general-loneliness-epidemic-report 

Follow Laurie on Instagram at http://instagram.com/carolinasmatchmaker 

Follow Laurie on TikTok at http://tiktok.com/@carolinasmatchmaker 

Listen to the Love on the Go podcast on…

Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/love-on-the-go/id1631398944 

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4ZLPYIsjL3p8HYYjaAXwax 

*****Let's work together!*****

Is matchmaking right for you? Let’s find out!  https://calendly.com/felix-louie 

Follow Maria on instagram at http://instagram.com/matchmakermaria 

And join an upcoming Intensive! https://agapematch.com/agape-group-coaching-intensive/ 

*** Join us at Matchmaker Maria’s Eurovision Party on Saturday, May 13th in NYC! Get tickets now! https://www.eventbrite.com/e/matchmaker-marias-eurovision-party-tickets-617316860347 ***

This week on the hotline, Maria is joined by her husband, George, to answer your questions!

Follow George on…

Instagram at http://instagram.com/nerdmeetsfood

TikTok at http://tiktok.com/@nerdmeetsfood 

*****Let's work together!*****

Is matchmaking right for you? Let’s find out!  https://calendly.com/felix-louie 

Follow Maria on instagram at http://instagram.com/matchmakermaria 

And join an upcoming Intensive! https://agapematch.com/agape-group-coaching-intensive/

This week, Maria is getting real about body image and dating with Dr. Lindsay Kite!

Dr. Lindsay Kite is co-author of the book More Than a Body: Your Body Is an Instrument, Not an Ornament (2020, HarperCollins) and co-director of the nonprofit Beauty Redefined, alongside her identical twin sister Lexie Kite. Both received PhDs from the University of Utah in the study of female body image and have become leading experts in body image resilience and media literacy. Lindsay and Lexie help girls and women recognize and reject the harmful effects of objectification in their lives through their social media activism, online course, and regular speaking engagements for people of all ages. Lindsay lives in New York City.

Learn more about Dr Kite at http://morethanabody.org/ 

Pick up her book, More Than a Body: Your Body is an Instrument, at https://www.amazon.com/dp/0358229243/ 

Follow Dr. Kite on Instagram at http://instagram.com/beauty_redefined 

*****Let's work together!*****

Is matchmaking right for you? Let’s find out!  https://calendly.com/felix-louie 

Follow Maria on instagram at http://instagram.com/matchmakermaria 

And join an upcoming Intensive! https://agapematch.com/agape-group-coaching-intensive/ 

This week, Maria is back with another hotline episode with award-winning writer, actor, comedian, and musician Lane Moore!

Her first book, How To Be Alone: If You Want To And Even If You Don’t, became an instant #1 bestseller and was praised as one of the best books of the year by The New York Times, New York Magazine, NPR, Good Morning America, Fast Company, Marie Claire, and many others

Her second book, You Will Find Your People: How To Make Meaningful Friendships As An Adult, will be released on April 25, 2023. Pre-order now!

https://www.amazon.com/You-Will-Find-Your-People/dp/1419762567 

Follow Lane on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/hellolanemoore/ 

Follow Lane on Twitter at https://twitter.com/hellolanemoore 

Learn more about Lane at https://www.lanemoore.org/ 

*****Let's work together!*****

Is matchmaking right for you? Let’s find out!  https://calendly.com/felix-louie 

Follow Maria on instagram at http://instagram.com/matchmakermaria 

And join an upcoming Intensive! https://agapematch.com/agape-group-coaching-intensive/ 

After two weeks off, Maria is BACK with another edition of the hotline! If you want to join us for a live taping of a future hotline episode, be sure to follow Maria on instagram to know when the hotline will open next: http://instagram.com/matchmakermaria 

Selena Coppock is a former standup comedian, writer, author, and storyteller based in NYC. She is the creator and voice of @NYTVows, the parody Twitter and Instagram account that lampoons the New York Times Wedding section, the wedding industrial complex, WASPs, and courtship rituals of the rich and insufferable. She is also the creator and host of TWO WICK MINIMUM, America’s favorite and only podcast about candles.

Follow NYTVows at…

http://twitter.com/nytvows

http://instagram.com/nytvows

Find Selena at…

http://instagram.com/selenacoppock 

http://twitter.com/selenacoppock

Check out Selena’s podcast, Two Wick Minimum, on Apple Podcasts

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-wick-minimum-with-selena-coppock/id1440652282?mt=2 

*****Let's work together!*****

Is matchmaking right for you? Let’s find out!  https://calendly.com/felix-louie 

Follow Maria on instagram at http://instagram.com/matchmakermaria 

And join an upcoming Intensive! https://agapematch.com/agape-group-coaching-intensive/ 

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Pre-Registration for Tulum 2023 is open! Visit http://agapeescapes.com. 

Or enroll in a virtual Agape Intensive instead: http://agapeintensive.com 

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When it comes to modern relationships, our thumbs do the talking. We swipe right into a stranger’s life, flirt inside text bubbles, spill our hearts onto the screen, and use emojis to convey desire, frustration, and rage. Where once we pored over love letters, now we obsess over response times, or wonder why the three-dot ellipsis came. . . and went.

Nobody knows this better than our guest this week, Dr. Mimi Winsberg. A Harvard- and Stanford-trained psychiatrist who cofounded a behavioral health startup while serving as resident psychiatrist at Facebook HQ, her work frequently finds her at the intersection of Big Data and Big Dating. Like all of us, Winsberg has been handed many a smartphone accompanied by the urgent plea: “What does this mean?” Unlike all of us, she knows the answer. She is a text whisperer.

Pick up her new book, Speaking in Thumbs, at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09J7M5X2P/

Learn more about Dr. Winsberg at https://www.drwinsberg.com/

Let's work together! 

Schedule a Dating Strategy call: https://calendly.com/felix-louie 

Follow Maria on instagram at http://instagram.com/matchmakermaria 

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Pre-Registration for Tulum 2023 is open! Visit http://agapeescapes.com. 

Or enroll in a virtual Agape Intensive instead: http://agapeintensive.com 

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It feels like narcissism has taken a bigger role in society in the last few years. What might start off as charming and great can quickly turn negative and unhealthy. 

How do we make sure we don’t get caught up with someone who is a narcissist? What should we look out for? How can you know if your partner IS one?

Dr. Ramani Durvasula (better known as Dr. Ramani)  is a licensed clinical psychologist in Los Angeles, CA and Professor of Psychology at California State University, Los Angeles. She takes on our modern scourges of entitlement and incivility in the book  “Don’t You Know Who I Am”: How to Stay Sane in the Era of Narcissism, Entitlement and Incivility She is the author of the modern relationship survival manual Should I Stay or Should I Go: Surviving a Relationship With a Narcissist.  The focus of Dr. Ramani’s clinical, academic and consultative work is the etiology and impact of narcissism and related high-conflict, entitled, antagonistic personality styles on human relationships, mental health, and societal expectations. 

Dr. Ramani is an honest, authentic, and brutally honest voice on the struggles raised by narcissism in the US and globally.

Follow Dr. Ramani on Instagram at http://instagram.com/doctorramani 

You can find Dr. Ramani’s books on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/Ramani-Durvasula/e/B00C2C5U0O 

Find Dr. Ramani at her website http://www.doctor-ramani.com 

Let's work together! 

Schedule a Dating Strategy call: https://calendly.com/felix-louie 

Follow Maria on instagram at http://instagram.com/matchmakermaria 

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Pre-Registration for Tulum 2023 is open! Visit http://agapeescapes.com. 

Or enroll in a virtual Agape Intensive instead: http://agapeintensive.com 

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Often during Ask a Matchmaker on Wednesdays, Maria gets asked about STIs. She’s joined by comedian Erica Spera to change the conversation and debunk the myths of herpes.

If you’re nervous about having the herpes conversation with your partner, sit down with them and listen to this together. 

Erika is a comedian and the host of the Shooters Gotta Shoot podcast. 

Follow Erika on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/spericaa/ 

Find links to Erika’s podcasts at https://linktr.ee/spericaa 

Find out where to see Erika live at https://www.ericaspera.com/ 

Let's work together! 

Schedule a Dating Strategy call: https://calendly.com/felix-louie 

Follow Maria on instagram at http://instagram.com/matchmakermaria