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    I Fell off the Wagon and I Feel Like a Fraud

    enJune 10, 2024

    Podcast Summary

    • Emotional AcknowledgementAcknowledging and addressing negative emotions can help us make the next right decision and move forward, instead of letting them hold us back.

      It's essential to acknowledge and address negative feelings, whether it's self-doubt or anxiety, instead of ignoring them or trying to push through them. John, a listener on The Doctor John DeLoney Show, shared his struggle with feeling inadequate at his job despite knowing what he should do. He was considering giving up on taking over a company due to these feelings. The expert suggested three options: confronting the feelings head-on, scrapping the whole thing, or taking a moment to breathe and reassess. The key takeaway is that acknowledging and addressing our emotions can help us move forward and make the next right decision, rather than letting them hold us back. It's okay to seek help and support when needed, and it's important to remember that we're all human and going through various challenges in life.

    • Self-compassion and asking for helpEven successful individuals face new challenges that can bring back past emotions and lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms. It's crucial to be kind to yourself, communicate, and seek help from trusted individuals to navigate the situation.

      It's important to be kind to yourself and ask for help when facing new challenges, even if you have a successful past. The speaker shared his personal experience of feeling overwhelmed while taking over a family construction business, which brought back anxiety and led him to drink excessively. He acknowledged that his emotions and feelings were not designed to tell him the truth, and that he needed support to see and navigate the situation clearly. He encouraged the listener to remember that nobody is perfect and that everyone makes mistakes, but it's essential to learn from them and not let them define us. The speaker also emphasized the importance of communication and seeking help from trusted individuals when feeling stuck or uncertain. Overall, the conversation highlighted the importance of self-compassion, resilience, and asking for help when needed.

    • Resurfaced DemonsAddressing old challenges is crucial for maintaining success and mental health. Seek help, practice self-care, and prioritize personal growth.

      Fame and success can bring up old challenges and it's important to address them before they become unmanageable. The speaker shares his personal experience of dealing with resurfaced demons and the importance of seeking help from a therapist and support system. He emphasizes the importance of honesty and leaning on others when the weight of success becomes too heavy to carry alone. The speaker encourages reaching out for help, whether it be through attending support groups, seeking professional guidance, or leaning on loved ones. He also emphasizes the importance of self-care and taking time for personal growth. The speaker concludes by encouraging the listener to write a letter to their future self as a way to reflect on the steps they can take to ensure they are taking care of themselves and their loved ones as they continue to grow and succeed.

    • Investing in well-beingInvesting in your well-being through seeking help, upgrading essentials, and making life changes leads to a fulfilling life. Prioritize self-care and consider Helix mattresses for better sleep.

      Investing in your well-being, whether it's through seeking help from a counselor, upgrading your mattress for better sleep, or making life changes to prioritize your family, is essential for living a fulfilling life. Shelby's story highlights the importance of making difficult decisions for the greater good of your family, even if the outcome doesn't turn out exactly as planned. And as 50-year-old Jacob, we can all be proud of the hard work we've put in to improve our lives and be the best versions of ourselves. Don't hesitate to take care of yourself and make changes that will positively impact your overall well-being. Additionally, the importance of a good night's sleep cannot be overstated. Helix mattresses offer a solution for improving sleep quality, with their award-winning mattresses recommended by leading chiropractors and doctors of sleep medicine. Take the Helix sleep quiz to find your perfect mattress and enjoy 20% off and 2 free pillows during their summertime sale. Better Sleep starts right now.

    • Expectations and communicationMisunderstandings and conflicts can arise when expectations aren't clearly communicated and understood, leading to unmet needs and feelings of judgment and unappreciation.

      Unmet expectations and miscommunication can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts in relationships. In the discussed situation, the speaker and her husband had different expectations about their involvement with the speaker's mother after moving closer to her. While the speaker envisioned frequent interactions, her husband and mother had different understandings. The misunderstanding escalated when the speaker's mother felt unappreciated and judged for not being as involved as the speaker had anticipated. The situation could have been avoided if the expectations had been clearly communicated and discussed beforehand. It's essential to remember that everyone has unique perspectives and priorities, and open and honest communication is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships.

    • Rebuilding relationships after conflictsApologies can help ease tensions, but ultimately it's important for adults to make concrete plans to move forward and focus on the future rather than dwelling on past emotions.

      Effective communication and taking responsibility for one's actions are crucial in resolving conflicts and rebuilding relationships. In the discussion, a family is dealing with the aftermath of a move and the emotional fallout from a heated argument between the father and the grandmother. The speaker acknowledges that everyone involved is hurting and in their feelings, but emphasizes the importance of being the adult in the situation and making concrete plans to move forward. He suggests that an apology from the husband may help to ease tensions, but ultimately, the mother gets to decide how she wants to use the remaining time before the family moves to rebuild bridges or to continue harboring resentment. The speaker encourages focusing on keeping the marriage strong and moving forward with life, rather than getting bogged down in past emotions.

    • Co-parenting truths for 8-year-oldsFocus on respect and dignity towards all women, engage in meaningful activities, and avoid starting new relationships to set an example for your child's future relationships.

      Co-parenting after a divorce can be challenging, especially when explaining the situation to an inquisitive 8-year-old. While it's important to be truthful, it may not be age-appropriate to share the details. Instead, focus on demonstrating respect and dignity towards all women, including your ex-wife. Engage in meaningful conversations and activities that show your daughter the value of honoring and investing time in relationships. Avoid starting new relationships just to set an example, as your actions and dedication will speak louder than words. Ultimately, your goal is to create a strong foundation of love and respect that will serve as a bedrock for your daughter's future relationships.

    • Relationships and boundaries in parentingBe open and honest in relationships with children while setting age-appropriate boundaries, prioritize their presence, practice self-care, and encourage open communication to create a safe and stable environment for growth and learning.

      Creating a safe and stable environment for children involves being open and honest about relationships while setting boundaries. The speaker shares that they prioritize their children's presence in their life, bringing them along to various social situations and answering their questions truthfully but age-appropriately. They also emphasize the importance of self-care, such as getting enough sleep, to model healthy habits for their children. Additionally, they encourage open communication and seeking support from trusted sources when navigating challenging situations. Overall, the goal is to provide a secure foundation for children to grow and learn while fostering their curiosity and autonomy.

    • Self-care habitsIt's never too late to prioritize self-care habits like going to bed at a reasonable hour, avoiding excessive drinking, and living a healthy lifestyle for overall well-being.

      It's never too late to prioritize self-care and healthy habits, even if you once swore you'd never do so. Mark Manson, in his experience, shared how he regretted not embracing these habits earlier in life. So, the message here is, whether you're young or old, it's essential to consider the benefits of going to bed at a reasonable hour, avoiding excessive drinking, and living a healthy lifestyle. As we age, these habits become increasingly important for our overall well-being. In essence, it's never too late to make positive changes in your life, no matter what age you are. So, take a cue from Mark Manson and Kelly and prioritize your health – go to bed, stay in school, and avoid drugs.

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