9 Keys to Healing a Marriage - Part 1

Brian and Anne talk about 10 strategies to help you through the holiday season.

Part 2 of Personal Style with Dr. Ken Keis! Hear from the professional who is your expert when it comes to understanding self - discover.

Why aren't you more like me?
This is not only a question we as individuals ask ourselves...but it's also a fascinating book title, written by author Dr. Ken Keis.
Dr. Keis is a personal friend to Brian and Anne Bercht, and has discovered how to improve your life through self-awareness.  When you are struggling to work through your interactions with your spouse (or partner)...it's important that YOU understand how YOU tick.  The Personal Style Indicator is a very impactful assessment; Brian and Anne have found this element to be foundational in their teachings.  

There is no set rule about whether you should tell your children or not. Each couple, each situation and each family is different. I recommend that as a mother and father, both parents get as much information as they can, then come together and discuss your unique situation and the best course of action for your family. Ideally,  you both should decide and agree together on whether or not to talk to your children about the affair.

What are your motives for wanting to tell your children about an affair?

Be honest with yourself here. If your motive for telling is because you, the betrayed spouse, want sympathy and want your children to know what a dirt-bag their other parent is, DO NOT TELL THEM. If your motive is anything less than to improve their lives, and create more closeness with them by gifting them with truth, you should NOT tell.

Listen with Anne, as she discusses this question, bringing her own unique story to life...  

Sometimes you can find healing through betrayal when you listen to the perspective of the unfaithful.  As a betrayed spouse, when we ask our unfaithful husband questions, we can't HEAR the answer.  What I mean by HEAR the answer...is that we know what they are saying, but it doesn't reach our heart.  Listen to Brian share a piece of his journey, as he explains the mind of the unfaithful.  Perhaps you will HEAR his perspective.

These are not necessarily "secrets"... Anne and Brian want to be open about what they feel having a healed marriage looks like.  Healing after betrayal is not linear...and it's intense; however, you need the effort from BOTH spouses.  If one spouse is not willing to change, then a healed marriage won't work.    

Listen to Brian and Anne discuss 8 things they feel are important when working towards reconciliation.  Remember..."you are on a journey to a destination...."

Anne discusses the depth of her personal experience...and what forgiveness meant to her.  She gets it.  

She has the perspective as a betrayed spouse and currently is able to live life freely without a tinge of resentment or bitterness to Brian.  We can all learn from others who have been there.  We added an extra episode on forgiveness, as we feel that this topic comes with challenges.

How do you find forgiveness?  
This is a common question that seems to be the very thing every betrayed spouse wants to know.  We find that some professionals and even pastors or leaders can give advice around this topic that is NOT the most beneficial perspective.  Forgiveness might not be what you think it is; we find that forgiveness is a process...not necessarily step one.  Listen to part II with Anne (and guest speaker Jaylene) as they discuss what forgiveness looks like.

How do you find forgiveness?  
This is a common question that seems to be the very thing every betrayed spouse wants to know.  We find that many professionals and even pastors or leaders can give advice around this topic that is NOT the most beneficial perspective.  Forgiveness might not be what you think it is; we find that forgiveness is a process...not necessarily step one.  Listen to Anne (and guest speaker Jaylene) as they discuss what forgiveness looks like.