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    Secret Agent: Send Your Children To A Village! How To Detect A Lie Instantly! The Eye Contact Trick I Learnt From 12 Years As A Secret Service Agent! - Evy Poumpouras

    enJune 06, 2024

    Podcast Summary

    • Motivational mindset, paralinguisticsEffectively communicating with someone's motivational mindset through paralinguistics involves being objective, learning from leaders, and continuously striving for personal growth.

      Understanding someone's motivational mindset and effectively communicating with them through paralinguistics are key components in getting them to do what you want. Evie Pompouras, a former US Secret Service special agent, emphasizes the importance of being objective, learning from leaders, and continuously striving for personal growth. Her experiences in the Secret Service involved both protection and investigations, requiring a selfless attitude and creativity. By focusing on these principles, we can effectively influence and build stronger relationships.

    • MotivationsUnderstanding someone's motivations is crucial for successful persuasion, sales, or business engagement. Build connection and earn trust by showing respect and competence.

      Understanding someone's motivations is key to getting them to do what you want. This was demonstrated in a case where a man used a Russian's desire for more money to bring him to America. Andrew Bustamante, a former CIA agent, emphasized the importance of ideology in motivating people. In business, sales, or any form of persuasion, focusing on understanding the other person's motivations, rather than trying to make them like you, is crucial. People are more likely to open up and reveal their motivations when given the space to talk. By showing respect and competence, you can build a connection and earn their trust. Remember, everyone's motivations are different, and focusing on your goal will help you effectively engage with them.

    • Effective CommunicationBe genuinely curious, nonjudgmental, and professional to make people feel heard and respected, while maintaining boundaries and addressing conflicts constructively.

      Effective communication involves being genuinely curious, nonjudgmental, and professional. This approach allows people to feel heard and respected, encouraging them to open up and share valuable information. However, it's crucial to maintain boundaries and address disrespect or boundary-crossing behavior promptly to prevent future issues. Setting clear expectations and addressing conflicts in a constructive manner are essential skills for building strong relationships and successful interactions. Remember, being warm and approachable doesn't mean compromising professionalism or authority. Instead, it's about striking a balance that fosters open dialogue and respect.

    • Leadership practicesEffective leaders listen actively, admit mistakes, set clear expectations, surround themselves with positives, communicate non-judgmentally, lead by example, recognize detrimental team members, and maintain a strong inner circle.

      Effective leadership involves active listening, owning up to mistakes, setting clear expectations, and surrounding oneself with positive influences. By practicing non-judgmental communication and leading by example, leaders can help team members reflect on their own mistakes and grow. However, it's also important to recognize when someone's presence is detrimental to the team and make difficult decisions to protect the group's cohesion. As a leader, it's essential to be aware of the people you surround yourself with, as they significantly influence your behavior and the culture of your team. By creating a strong core circle and being intentional about who you allow into your inner circle, you can maintain a positive and productive work environment. Remember, the people around you are a reflection of you, so choose wisely.

    • Leadership and CommunicationGreat leaders present the right version of themselves in different contexts, remain calm under criticism, make rational decisions, and learn from past leaders to improve communication and decision-making skills.

      Effective communication and leadership involve presenting the right version of oneself in different contexts, showing resilience, making rational decisions based on facts, and maintaining composure during debates or criticisms. Observing great leaders like former presidents has taught this valuable lesson. Despite facing constant criticism and adversity, they remained calm, rational, and focused on achieving their goals. This ability to separate emotions from decisions is crucial for successful leadership. Additionally, learning from these leaders, even from a distance, can provide valuable insights into effective communication and decision-making.

    • Setting BoundariesLeaders set strict boundaries to maintain focus and create effective work environments, as demonstrated by the Secret Service's ban on phones.

      Leaders set boundaries to create focused environments. I once worked for the Secret Service, where the president's disapproval of phones was a strict boundary. This rule ensured everyone remained present and focused, creating an effective work environment. The rigorous selection process to join the Secret Service, which only accepts 1% of applicants, demonstrates the importance of trustworthiness, integrity, and being better qualified. As a polygraph examiner, I learned to read body language and intuition to detect dishonesty. Leaders, like the president, understand that small distractions can have a significant impact on the overall environment.

    • Curiosity and follow-up questionsCuriosity and follow-up questions can lead to valuable insights and discoveries. Persistent questioning and observation can help identify criminals or solve complex problems.

      Being curious and asking follow-up questions can lead to valuable insights and discoveries. The anecdote about the ATM fraudster illustrates this point. Instead of accepting the man's denials and moving on, the detective's persistent questioning and observation led to the identification of the criminal. This approach can be applied in various situations, whether in personal interactions or professional investigations. Additionally, nonverbal communication, such as eye contact and body language, can convey confidence and authority, making the speaker appear more trustworthy and engaging to the listener. However, genuine self-belief and high self-esteem are essential foundations for effectively utilizing these communication skills.

    • Personal growthPersonal growth is a long-term process of making small, consistent improvements, requiring dedication, resilience, and belief in oneself. Surround yourself with positivity and be self-sufficient.

      There's no quick fix or magic solution to changing the core of oneself or achieving significant personal growth. It's a long-term process that involves making small, consistent improvements, much like the accumulation of compound interest. People often seek shortcuts, but true transformation requires dedication, resilience, and belief in oneself. Additionally, it's essential to surround oneself with positive influences and to be sovereign, not relying on others to complete you. The little things we do daily contribute to our growth, and it's crucial to be mindful of the inputs that shape our minds, especially for children.

    • Child upbringing and educationExpose children to diverse perspectives, make thoughtful decisions about education and upbringing, prioritize self-care, and teach accountability and self-discipline.

      Raising a child involves a balance of guidance and letting them discover their own values and experiences. The speaker emphasizes the importance of exposing her daughter to different perspectives and making thoughtful decisions about her education and upbringing. She also believes in the interconnectedness of mind and body, prioritizing exercise and overall self-care. A significant experience in her past, working in the Secret Service, taught her the importance of taking care of both her mind and body to handle stress and adversity. Despite facing fearful situations, she learned to confront them head-on and prioritize accountability and self-discipline.

    • Decision making under pressureMaking split-second decisions under pressure can have significant consequences and can leave a lasting impact on one's emotional well-being. It's important to trust your instincts and normalize mental health struggles to make informed decisions.

      Making split-second decisions in high-pressure situations can be emotionally taxing and potentially life-altering. The speaker shared an experience where he had to make a decision to shoot or not shoot a suspect, and the outcome hinged on his ability to read the situation correctly. He chose not to shoot, and it turned out the suspect was unarmed. This event left a lasting impact on him, making him question his decision-making abilities and the potential consequences of his actions. The speaker also discussed the importance of normalizing mental health struggles and feeling emotions, rather than stigmatizing them. He shared his experiences with anxiety and the pressures of protecting high-profile individuals, emphasizing the importance of trust and honor in his line of work. Despite the challenges, he emphasized the importance of staying focused and committed to one's responsibilities.

    • Imposter SyndromeAcknowledging worth, focusing on contributions, and effective communication can help overcome imposter syndrome and succeed despite challenges. Naivety can be an asset, and building a positive contribution score is crucial for gaining respect.

      Self-doubt and feeling like an outsider can hold us back, but acknowledging our worth and focusing on valuable contributions can help us succeed despite challenges. Naivety and ignorance can sometimes be an asset, allowing us to reach new heights without being hindered by self-imposed limitations. Additionally, effective communication and asserting our value in professional environments are crucial for being heard and respected. Building a positive contribution score through valuable inputs can help us gain the attention and respect of our colleagues and superiors. It's essential to remember that taking responsibility for our actions and growth is more beneficial than becoming a victim and blaming external factors. By focusing on our strengths and making sure our voices are heard, we can overcome obstacles and thrive in our personal and professional lives.

    • Past traumas as identityRefusing to let go of past traumas can limit personal growth and happiness, and even negatively impact professional and personal life. It's important to recognize everyone's journey is unique, and consider whether being around such individuals is beneficial for one's own well-being.

      Some people cling to their past traumas and hardships as part of their identity, refusing to let go and move forward. This can be seen in various contexts, such as when people react negatively to discussions about personal responsibility or when individuals become consumed by their experiences of trauma. This can limit their potential for growth and happiness, and can even lead to negative consequences in their personal and professional lives. It's important to recognize that everyone's journey is unique, and while some people may be able to leave their past behind, others may need more support and understanding. However, it's also important to consider whether being around such individuals is beneficial for one's own well-being. Ultimately, the ability to let go of the past and focus on the present and future is a crucial aspect of personal growth and resilience.

    • Victimhood mentalityPeople who dwell in victimhood mentality may create a community around their traumas, leading to addiction and competition. It's essential to recognize those who genuinely want to move forward and remember that traumas do not define us.

      Some people prefer to stay in a state of victimhood and disempowerment rather than taking control of their situations. They may use repeated "I" statements, be highly emotional, and complain frequently, creating a sense of community and belonging around their traumas. This can lead to addiction to the trauma and a competition for who has suffered the most. It's essential to recognize the difference between those who genuinely want to move forward and those who just want to dwell in their past. Additionally, traumas can become a badge of honor, a way to draw attention and relevance to oneself. It's crucial to remember that traumas do not define us; we are constantly evolving and becoming more.

    • UnderestimationUnderestimation can be an advantage if used confidently, but it's essential not to let it limit potential. Focus on strengths and abilities, not external factors.

      Underestimation, whether based on gender, race, or other factors, can be a double-edged sword. It can be an advantage if one uses it to their advantage and remains confident in their abilities. The speaker shares her experience of being underestimated during her undercover work, where her appearance and accent helped her blend in with the traffickers. However, she also acknowledges that this underestimation could potentially hinder her professional growth. The speaker further emphasizes the importance of not letting such underestimation define or limit one's potential. She shares her personal experience of being underestimated during her early career and how she chose to view it as an opportunity rather than a disadvantage. Ultimately, it's essential to focus on one's strengths and abilities and not let external factors dictate one's self-worth or professional growth.

    • Perceptions and BeliefsOur perceptions and beliefs, whether true or not, can significantly impact our experiences and relationships. It's essential to challenge limiting beliefs and recognize that our perceptions may not align with reality.

      Our perceptions and beliefs, whether rooted in reality or not, can significantly impact our experiences and relationships. In the discussed situation, a man felt excluded due to his race and assumed the speaker and other agents felt the same way about him. However, the speaker reassured him that no one was thinking about race or gender, and the secret service agents invited him to join them. The man's self-perception and belief of exclusion caused him distress, and the speaker's intervention helped him overcome it. This incident highlights the importance of challenging our limiting beliefs and recognizing that our perceptions may not align with reality. Additionally, the discussion touched upon the concept of labeling theory and stereotype threat, which can negatively affect individuals' performance and self-worth. Ultimately, it's crucial to focus on our own growth and development rather than trying to change others' beliefs or perceptions.

    • Protecting Energy, DiscriminationRecognize your worth, prioritize self-care, and become 'bulletproof' to protect your energy and mental health when facing discrimination or other challenges.

      It's important to protect your energy and focus on what matters most to you, rather than trying to fix every problem in the world. This can be particularly challenging when facing discrimination or prejudice, but it's essential to recognize your own worth and limitations. The speaker shares personal experiences of dealing with discrimination and the toll it takes on one's energy and mental health. They emphasize the importance of being conscious of the energy exchange in any situation and making a deliberate choice about how to respond. Ultimately, it's about finding balance and prioritizing your own well-being while still standing up for yourself when necessary. The speaker also encourages readers to become "bulletproof" by protecting themselves, reading people, and influencing situations. This can be applied to various aspects of life, from the boardroom to personal relationships. The speaker's vulnerability and relatable wisdom make them an inspiration to many, and their book offers valuable advice for anyone looking to overcome obstacles and become their best selves.

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    The Pregnancy Doctor: Pregnancy Halves Every Year After 32! If You Want 2+ Children, You Need To Know This! If You Experience This Pain, Go See A Doctor!

    The Pregnancy Doctor: Pregnancy Halves Every Year After 32! If You Want 2+ Children, You Need To Know This! If You Experience This Pain, Go See A Doctor!
    Where have all the babies gone? Dr Natalie breaks down everything you need to know about fertility.  Dr Natalie Crawford is a double board-certified fertility doctor. She is also the co-founder of Fora Fertility clinic and Pinnacle Conference, a leadership conference for women in medicine. In this conversation, Dr Natalie and Steven discuss topics such as, how plastic and pollution affect your fertility, the surprising condition that’s affecting 1 in 4 women, the best time to have sex for pregnancy, and the impact of phones and hot baths on sperm count.  00:00 Intro 02:05 You Need To Look After Your Fertility Even Before You Want Children 04:31 We're Struggling More Than Ever To Have Children 07:00 Are We Having Less Sex? 07:47 Sperm Count Is Declining At Scary Risk 10:38 I Had 4 Pregnancy Losses And It's Devastating 13:36 The Stigma Of Infertility 16:15 Infertility Is Not Just A Female Issue, Men Are Affected Too 18:49 Understanding The Basics Of Fertility 22:26 Environmental Factors Affecting Male And Female Fertility 26:32 Are Phones And Laptops Bad For Fertility? 29:40 Heat And Infertility 30:15 What Testosterone Replacement Therapy Does To Your Sperm 31:45 The Egg Vault 35:25 Egg Production And Anomalies 42:41 Regret, Hindsight Of Patients And What You Can Do 47:16 What Has Changed Since Our Parents 49:06 The Effects Of An Unhealthy Lifestyle 54:07 Sleep Is Crucial In Your Reproductive Hormone System 55:07 How Stress Impacts Fertility 57:14 The Best Diets For Good Fertility 59:11 How Dairy Impacts Your Fertility 01:01:05 You Need To Understand The Reproductive Cycle To Know How Exercise Impacts It 01:10:58 Menstrual Irregularities And What's Normal 01:16:57 How Long Does It Take To Get Pregnant? 01:17:50 When Trying To Have Children Sex Can Become A Chore 01:21:43 Purchasing Sperm From The Black Market 01:24:48 PCOS Explained 01:30:59 PCOS Diagnosis 01:33:50 Link Between PCOS & Endometrial Cancer 01:37:02 What Is Endometriosis & How Do You Know You Have It 01:43:55 What Happens When You Come Off The Pill And Want To Have Children 01:46:25 Advice For People With Endometriosis And PCOS, If They Want To Have Children 01:49:36 Getting Started With Freezing Eggs And Embryos And Success Rate 01:55:15 The Cost Of Fertility Procedures 01:56:40 IVF Stigma 01:58:42 Ads 01:59:32 When To Think About Fertility Treatment 02:01:54 Dummies Guide To IVF 02:06:38 Myths Of Conception 02:08:54 Best Sex Position To Get Pregnant 02:10:33 Is Birth Control Healthy? 02:13:36 What Can People Do If They Struggle With Infertility? 02:15:40 Last Guest Question Follow Natalie:  Instagram - https://bit.ly/3yIQJ9L  Twitter - https://bit.ly/3wLxtb6  YouTube - https://bit.ly/4551ZZY  Watch the episodes on Youtube - https://g2ul0.app.link/3kxINCANKsb My new book! 'The 33 Laws Of Business & Life' is out now - https://smarturl.it/DOACbook Follow me: https://beacons.ai/diaryofaceo   Sponsors: Colgate: https://www.colgate.com/en-gb/colgate-total Shopify: http://shopify.com/bartlett Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    Moment 164: AVOID These 3 Phone Habits That Are Killing Your Brain! The Mental Health Doctor: Dr Aditi Nerurkar

    Moment 164: AVOID These 3 Phone Habits That Are Killing Your Brain! The Mental Health Doctor: Dr Aditi Nerurkar
    In this moment, the world renowned expert in stress, Dr Aditi Nerurkar discusses how the majority of people in the modern world suffer from ‘Popcorn Brain’. According to Dr Aditi ‘Popcorn Brain’ comes from our excessive use of smartphones and social media. This is a real biological phenomenon where your brain circuitry ‘pops’ due to overstimulation and spending too much time online. Your brain never really gets a moment of rest, as being online means it it receives a nonstop stream of information. ‘Popcorn Brain’ is different to the psychological disorder that is internet addiction, as internet addiction seriously affects your ability to live your life, whereas Popcorn Brain defines modern life with everyone being constantly distracted. One of the ways that you can overcome ‘Popcorn Brain’ and improve our mental health is by reducing your reliance on your phone, making sure that you create healthy digital boundaries, so that you give yourself the mental space to live your life. Listen to the full episode here Apple- https://g2ul0.app.link/wSPySPjv1Jb Spotify- https://g2ul0.app.link/neGcOqnv1Jb Watch the Episodes On Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/c/%20TheDiaryOfACEO/videos Dr Aditi Nerurkar - https://www.draditi.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    Dr Mike: The Hidden Side Effects Of Vaping! The Dark Side Of Being A Doctor! We Need To Stop Medical Misinformation!

    Dr Mike: The Hidden Side Effects Of Vaping! The Dark Side Of Being A Doctor! We Need To Stop Medical Misinformation!
    He might be known as the ‘Sexiest Doctor Alive’ but his true talent is fighting against the ugly side of medical misinformation.  Doctor Mike is a family medicine doctor and YouTube’s #1 Doctor. He has over 25 million followers on social media and is also the host of ‘The Checkup with Doctor Mike’ podcast.  In this conversation, Doctor Mike and Steven discuss topics such as, the errors in the biggest online health trends, which popular diets are destroying your health, the real truth about calorie counting, and the one thing that helped Dr Mike cure his depression.  00:00 Intro 02:01 Helping People Make Better Health Decisions 05:10 Why Have People Resonated With You And Your Approach True Medical Information 09:54 How Do You Check The Evidence Of The Studies You Share? 11:56 The New Health Trends: Optimisation, Longevity, Anti-Ageing 16:17 Lifestyle Changes Is The First Doctor's Advice 18:14 Do Shortcuts Exist In Medicine? 19:03 What's Your Take On Calories In, Calories Out 21:02 How To Make A Diet Stick 23:16 The False Illusion Of A Good Body Equals Good Health 26:46 Calories In And Calories Out Does Work 28:49 The Benefits Of Exercising 30:21 Where Is The Direction Of Travel With Our Health? 32:51 What Would Happen If There Was A Deadlier Pandemic Than Covid 34:41 Is Vaping Dangerous? 39:27 The Real And Painful Reason Why I Started Boxing 41:32 Losing My Mum 47:07 What's The Best Way To Heal From Grief? 49:49 Your Journey With Mental Health & Social Media Bullying 54:05 The Best Advice I Received From My Therapist 55:55 Are Certain People More Prone To Get Addicted To Social Media? 57:12 Have You Considered Quitting Social Media?? 58:25 Are Vitamin Supplements Good For Us? 59:45 Can We Get All Our Nutrients And Vitamins From Foods? 01:03:36 Do Prebiotics And Probiotics Work? 01:05:19 We Should Listen To The Health Advice Our Grandmothers Told Us 01:08:15 Mentioning Experts That Are Wrong 01:10:46 People Are Losing Trust In Doctors Because Of This 01:18:28 Look After Your Children, We Need This Out Of Schools 01:25:09 Are You A Deep Thinker? 01:27:39 How Do You Deal With So Much Loss And Grief? 01:29:01 What Was Your Hardest Day? 01:33:53 How To Save Someone's Life Doing CPR 01:41:23 I Asked The Doctors To Stop Doing CPR On My Mother 01:43:29 Last Guest Question Here is a link to an article discussing the inefficiency of the anti-depression drug, Paxil: https://bit.ly/3X867q2  Follow Doctor Mike:  Instagram - https://bit.ly/3V4pJsy  Twitter - https://bit.ly/4bVeidJ  YouTube - https://bit.ly/3yPtKcQ  Watch the episodes on Youtube - https://g2ul0.app.link/3kxINCANKsb My new book! 'The 33 Laws Of Business & Life' is out now - https://smarturl.it/DOACbook Follow me: https://beacons.ai/diaryofaceo  Sponsors: ZOE: http://joinzoe.com with an exclusive code CEO10 for 10% off Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices