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    E760 Ask Nick - Carrying My BFF’s Baby

    enJune 10, 2024

    Podcast Summary

    • Insurance Bundling and ConfidenceInsurance bundling simplifies management and potentially saves money, while small comforts like Altoids mints boost self-confidence in daily life

      Both Progressive's home and auto insurance bundle and Altoids mints can bring ease and confidence in everyday life. Progressive's bundle simplifies insurance management and potentially saves customers money, while Altoids provides fresh breath, boosting self-confidence in social situations. The episode's hosts shared personal experiences, with Nick trying mussels for the first time and discussing menu anxiety, emphasizing the importance of stepping out of comfort zones and trying new things. The conversation also touched on the topic of kosher laws and the differences between various types of shellfish.

    • Child's food exploration and independenceEncourage children to explore various cuisines and foods, but allow them to express preferences and not force them to eat disliked items. Allow them to navigate menus and airport signs to build independence and problem-solving skills.

      Raising a child with an open palate and exposing them to various cuisines and foods is important for their development, but it's crucial to find a balance between allowing them to express their preferences and not forcing them to eat something they dislike. Parents can encourage independence and problem-solving skills by allowing their children to navigate menus and airport signs at an appropriate age. However, it's essential to remember that every generation faces unique challenges, and the best approach to parenting is to provide guidance, love, and support while allowing children to learn and grow. The conversation also touched on the idea that good advice can be misinterpreted or implemented incorrectly, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness and seeking professional help when needed.

    • Gentle Parenting BalanceFind a balance between gentle parenting and setting clear boundaries to help children learn right from wrong while minimizing fear, shame, and anxiety.

      While gentle parenting, an evidence-based approach to raising children without shame, blame, and punishment, can be effective in fostering confidence and independence, it's essential to find a balance. Overcorrection and avoiding negative words like "no" or "stop" entirely can lead to confusion and a lack of understanding about boundaries. Instead, parents should aim to collaborate with their children, use positive language, and maintain a calm energy during teachable moments. However, it's crucial to remember that gentle parenting may not always be applicable in every situation or environment. As children grow and enter the workforce, they'll encounter authority figures and rules that may not align with gentle parenting tactics. Therefore, it's essential to find a balance between gentle parenting and setting clear boundaries, using appropriate consequences when necessary, and maintaining a calm demeanor. This approach will help children learn right from wrong while minimizing fear, shame, and anxiety.

    • Consequences of actionsExplain consequences to children for their actions, allowing them to learn from mistakes, but also set boundaries to ensure safety and respect authority.

      Effective parenting involves a balance between setting boundaries and explaining consequences, while also allowing children to learn from their mistakes. The speaker shared a personal memory of not listening to their parents' instructions about using the bathroom, leading to a punishment of doing laundry. They acknowledged that gentle parenting, which focuses on empathy and understanding, can be beneficial but also challenging. Ultimately, they emphasized the importance of teaching children to understand the consequences of their actions, even if it involves some discomfort or hardship. The goal is to raise self-aware individuals who can make good decisions and respect authority.

    • Parenting balance, children's emotionsEffective parenting requires balancing gentle care with allowing children to face challenges, while social media and excess choices can contribute to anxiety and lack of resilience. In relationships, validating and communicating with a partner's feelings of jealousy or insecurity, even if unwarranted, can strengthen bonds and prevent future issues.

      Effective parenting involves finding a balance between gentle parenting and allowing children to face challenges and adversity. Social media and an abundance of choices can contribute to children's anxiety and lack of resilience. In the context of relationships, it's essential to validate and communicate with your partner if they express feelings of jealousy or insecurity, even if it seems unwarranted. These emotions often stem from deeper insecurities and past experiences. By having an open and understanding conversation, you can help strengthen your relationship and prevent similar issues from arising in the future.

    • Communication and RelationshipsEffective communication and understanding are crucial when exploring fantasies or engaging with uncomfortable media in relationships. Check in with your partner, acknowledge their feelings, and maintain an open and non-judgmental dialogue to build trust and respect.

      Communication and understanding are key when it comes to exploring fantasies or engaging with media that may cause discomfort in a relationship. The speaker discusses the difference between reading erotica and looking at naked women, and how the context and level of connection in a relationship can impact how each partner perceives and reacts to such situations. The speaker emphasizes the importance of checking in with one's partner, acknowledging their feelings, and maintaining an open and non-judgmental dialogue. The speaker also touches upon the sensitivity of men regarding such matters and the potential for misunderstandings due to different perspectives. Overall, the conversation highlights the importance of empathy, respect, and effective communication in navigating the complexities of sexual desires and relationships.

    • Religious disagreements in family decisionsReligious beliefs can influence decisions, but it's crucial to respectfully communicate and understand each other's viewpoints to prioritize family well-being.

      Despite religious differences, families can find common ground and make important decisions together, such as pursuing surrogacy to start or expand their family. However, disagreements and misunderstandings can arise, and in this case, it took the form of a personal disagreement that eventually became about religion. The mother-in-law, initially expressing concern, later referenced the Bible to argue against the decision. The speaker, who had carried a baby to term and experienced no issues, felt that God's desire for life and bringing new life into the world supported their decision. The takeaway is that while religious beliefs can influence decisions, it's essential to find a way to respectfully communicate and understand each other's viewpoints, ultimately prioritizing the well-being and happiness of the family.

    • Family Planning DecisionsRespect individual's privacy and free will in family planning decisions, avoid manipulation or guilt-tripping using religion or biblical stories

      Personal decisions, especially those related to family planning, should be respected as private matters between the individuals involved. The use of religion or biblical stories to manipulate or guilt others into making certain decisions is not only disrespectful but also a misinterpretation of the intended message. Free will, given by God, allows individuals to make choices that may not align with others' expectations or beliefs. The story of the couple in the Bible who resorted to having a child through another woman is not an accurate comparison to modern-day surrogacy, as it involves adultery and goes against the principles of free will and God's plan. Ultimately, it is essential to approach sensitive topics with empathy, understanding, and respect for each other's beliefs and decisions.

    • Making decisions without constant approvalIt's important to prioritize your happiness and alignment with your partner when making decisions, even if loved ones disagree. Communicate calmly and set clear boundaries to minimize drama and maintain healthy relationships.

      When making decisions that may not align with the opinions of loved ones, it's essential to stand firm in your choices and not seek their approval constantly. It's natural for family members to try and influence or argue against your decisions, but it's crucial to remember that ultimately, your happiness and alignment with your partner are the most important factors. By setting clear boundaries and communicating calmly and respectfully, you can minimize drama and maintain healthy relationships. Additionally, recognizing that people will have differing opinions and accepting that disagreement is possible can help reduce stress and anxiety. Remember, you don't need everyone's approval to make decisions that are right for you.

    • Decision making confidencePractice focusing on the importance of one's own decisions and prioritize the health and happiness of those involved to let go of the need for others' validation.

      Having the confidence to make decisions for oneself and not seeking approval from others can be a powerful and intimidating quality. Ariana Grande served as an inspiring example of this, validating others' feelings while staying firm in her own choices. However, it takes practice and self-awareness to break free from the default setting of seeking approval, especially when coming from an environment where arguing is common. By focusing on the importance of one's own decisions and prioritizing the health and happiness of those involved, individuals can learn to let go of the need for others' validation and instead, let their actions speak for themselves. Ultimately, being confident in one's decisions and letting go of the need for approval is a selfless and impressive trait that can lead to positive outcomes for all parties involved.

    • Family DynamicsSet boundaries, communicate effectively, and lead with love in family situations. Acknowledge feelings and maintain respect to prevent conflict, find common ground, and prioritize relationships.

      Navigating family dynamics can be challenging, especially when there are differences in beliefs or values. It's important to set boundaries, communicate effectively, and lead with love. Family members may not always approve of your decisions, but acknowledging their feelings and maintaining respect can help prevent conflict. Additionally, it's essential to find common ground and prioritize the importance of the relationship. The speaker shared her experience of setting a precedent with her family, refusing to be guilted into changing her mind, and acknowledging their feelings while staying firm in her decisions. This approach can be helpful in various family situations, allowing for respectful interactions and maintaining relationships despite differences.

    • Negative thinking in datingRecognize that everyone faces challenges in dating and don't let negative beliefs hold us back. Focus on finding compatible partners and limiting the number of bad options.

      Focusing on negative aspects of a situation, such as being a single parent or being rejected by potential partners based on superficial reasons, can make things worse. It's essential to recognize that everyone faces challenges in dating and not let self-limiting beliefs hold us back. Some people may not be ready for a relationship or may not be a good match, and it's important to move on and not waste time on those who aren't serious or honest about their intentions. Additionally, the abundance of options on dating apps can lead to an ego-driven mindset, making it harder to find a good match. Instead, it's crucial to focus on finding compatible partners and limiting the number of bad options, rather than trying to change people or feeling validated by their attention.

    • Rejection in dating appsRejection is normal in dating apps, self-awareness and reflection can help, focus on being true to oneself, and remember there are plenty of potential partners

      While it can be challenging to find a meaningful connection, particularly when using dating apps, it's important to remember that rejection is a normal part of the process. Self-awareness and self-reflection can help identify areas for growth, but it's also crucial to recognize that not every relationship will be the right fit. The focus should be on being true to oneself and continuing to put oneself out there, rather than dwelling on past rejections. Additionally, it's essential to remember that there are plenty of potential partners out there, and it's a matter of finding the right match. The journey may not always be easy, but staying positive and persistent can lead to finding a fulfilling relationship.

    • Gratitude and happiness in datingFocusing on gratitude and what you have in your life can help improve perspective and happiness in dating. Be transparent about expectations and filter out unsuitable matches. Avoid excessive explanation and maintain a balance in expressing interest and acknowledging time constraints.

      Focusing on gratitude and what you have in your life, rather than dwelling on what you don't have or past relationships, can help improve your perspective and overall happiness. Be transparent and honest when communicating your expectations in dating, and try to filter out unsuitable matches by being upfront about being a single mom looking for a serious relationship. Avoid explaining yourself excessively to men you're interested in and recognize that it's okay to admit that you're excited about someone but don't know much about them yet. Remember to give off the perception of being a busy, desirable person, and try to maintain a balance between expressing your interest and acknowledging that you don't have a lot of time to invest in potential relationships. By practicing these mindsets and behaviors, you can make the most of your dating experience and increase your chances of finding a fulfilling, long-term relationship.

    • Perspective on datingChanging perspective on dating by focusing on self-worth, practicing gratitude, and valuing ourselves can make us more attractive to others.

      Instead of actively pursuing every man who excites us, we should allow them to chase us. This requires changing our perspective on dating and focusing on our own self-worth. It's important to remember that our excitement for someone is often based on an idea of them, not who they truly are. By practicing gratitude for what we have in our lives and not ruminating on negative thoughts, we can attract people to us by radiating confidence and happiness. It's also essential to recognize that our single status doesn't define us and that we've made choices in the past. Taking a break from dating can be beneficial, but it's crucial to focus on personal growth during that time. Ultimately, being content with where we're at in life and valuing ourselves will make us more attractive to others.

    • Gratitude and self-awarenessFocusing on gratitude and self-awareness can improve dating experience and life satisfaction, reduce need for validation, help find happiness, and increase joy.

      Focusing on gratitude and self-awareness can significantly improve one's dating experience and overall life satisfaction. Constantly catching negative thoughts and replacing them with thoughts of gratitude can help reduce the need for validation from others and lead to healthier relationships. It's important to remember that everyone moves at their own pace, and there's no need to rush the process. By focusing on personal growth and helping others, individuals can find happiness and potentially meet the right person when they're ready. Additionally, avoiding comparison and staying present in the moment can help alleviate pressure and increase joy. Overall, practicing gratitude and self-awareness can lead to a more fulfilling and authentic dating experience.

    • Technology enhancing daily lifeTechnology is revolutionizing various aspects of daily life, from dental care to diapering, through customized solutions and streamlined processes

      Technology and innovation are making it easier than ever to improve aspects of our daily lives, from dental care to footwear and even diapering. The companies Sporting Smiles and Vessi, for instance, offer customized nightguards and waterproof shoes, respectively, all through online processes. Meanwhile, Huggies introduces a new line of diapers, wipes, and training pants designed for sensitive baby skin. These examples demonstrate how technology is streamlining and enhancing various aspects of our lives, making them more convenient and effective. Additionally, the importance of moving forward and letting go was discussed, with the reminder that sometimes the obstacles preventing us from moving on are not external, but rather internal.

    • Letting go of past relationshipsIdentify when it's time to move on and focus on new experiences instead of dwelling on negative past emotions and thoughts, as holding onto them only keeps us stuck. Deserve to be with someone who values and prioritizes us.

      It's essential to acknowledge past relationships' limitations and move on instead of dwelling on the past. Rejection can be painful, but it's crucial to identify if the person no longer wants to prioritize us and seek someone who does. Holding onto negative emotions and thoughts only keeps us stuck. We have the power to control our thoughts and focus on our goals and dreams instead of avoiding someone or an object that reminds us of the past. Letting go allows us to grow and find happiness in new experiences. It's important to recognize that we deserve to be with someone who values and prioritizes us.

    • RejectionFocusing too much on past rejections can hinder personal growth and happiness. Instead, acknowledge their inevitability and redirect thoughts towards positive experiences and actions.

      Rejection is a normal part of life, and focusing too much on it can hinder personal growth and happiness. Instead of dwelling on past rejections, it's essential to acknowledge their inevitability and redirect thoughts towards positive experiences and actions. Obsessing over past relationships and idealizing unattainable memories can lead to setting unrealistic expectations in new relationships. To break this cycle, it's crucial to focus on the present and practice gratitude, redirecting thoughts towards acts of kindness and positive experiences. By acknowledging the power to control one's thoughts and redirecting them towards something productive, individuals can learn to move past rejection and find happiness in the present.

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    The Viall Files
    enJune 03, 2024

    E756 Ask Nick Update Special Episode - Part 20

    E756 Ask Nick Update Special Episode - Part 20

    Welcome back to The Viall Files! Today we have another special “where are they now” update show where we give you updates from our past callers to see what’s happened in their situations and relationships since appearing on the show. But wait… first we introduce Nick to some viral dating theories!

    Our first caller originally called in because she broke off her engagement, but wasn't prepared to be at mutual events with him. She calls in to update us, as she was recently in a wedding party with him. Our second caller originally called in because some of her bridesmaids didn’t want to attend nor pay for her bachelorette party. She expressed how important it was for her friends to be there, and calls in to update us her the airbnb situation. Our third caller originally called in because her ex-maid of honor was bashing her fiance. She no longer speaks to her due to further confrontations, however another friend happily replaced her.

    To catch up on all of these callers original questions please see the show numbers:  

    Original Episode numbers for callers:

    • Episode Number: 685 Update Special - Part 15 (Originally on Episode 669 Ask Nick - I Need to Stop a Wedding in 2 Weeks)

    • Episode Number: 728 Ask Nick - Roommates Banging, Doors Open

    • Episode Number: 726 Going Deeper with Joey and Kelsey 

    “A big rite of passage for adulthood is losing friends.” 

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    Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to asknick@theviallfiles.com to be a part of our Monday episodes. 

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    The Viall Files
    enMay 31, 2024

    E755 GD w Emma Hernan + VPR Pt 3 - The End? Diddy Updates, North West Performance, and SH Reunion Trailer

    E755 GD w Emma Hernan + VPR Pt 3 - The End? Diddy Updates, North West Performance, and SH Reunion Trailer

    Welcome back to The Viall Files: Going Deeper Edition! To start things out, the household gets together to talk about some recent headlines, such as the Vanderpump Reunion Part 3, North West performing at The Hollywood Bowl, the trailer for Gypsy Rose’s show and her upcoming appearance on Keeping Up With the Kardashians, and the Summer House Reunion Trailer. Then, we talk to Emma Hernan about all things Selling Sunset, Selling The OC, her friendships with her castmates, the feud with Nicole, the mansion tax, her empanada company and more! We also ask about her dating and relationship history, and get some advice on buying homes and investing. We also have a Texting Office Hours caller who is struggling with a friendship breakup, and wasn’t sure if she should accept being phased out of her friend’s life, or fight for the relationship. 

    “Everyone wants to come for Chrishell to get their fifteen minutes.” 

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    Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to asknick@theviallfiles.com to be a part of our Monday episodes.

    Listen To Disrespectfully now!

    Listen on Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/disrespectfully/id1516710301

    Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0J6DW1KeDX6SpoVEuQpl7z?si=c35995a56b8d4038

    Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCh8MqSsiGkfJcWhkan0D0w

    To Order Nick’s Book Go To: http://www.viallfiles.com 

    If you would like to get some texting advice on Office Hours send an email to asknick@theviallfiles.com with “Texting Office Hours” in the subject line!

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    Timestamps:
    00:00 - Intro
    00:41 - Team Announcement
    03:33 - Diddy Updates
    10:03 - Parenthood
    23:24 - Viral Single Mom Cake Baking
    30:47 - North West The Hollywood Bowl
    36:30 - Gypsy Rose
    37:18 - SummerHouse
    38:05 - VPR Jo Gaslighlighting Debate
    52:13 - End of VPR?
    01:12:11 - Emma Hernan Interview Begins
    01:16:08 - Investments, Mansion Tax, Traveling
    01:24:42 - Love Life
    01:55:24 - Selling The OC
    02:00:55 - Dresses
    02:05:12 - Interest Rates
    02:09:03 - Reaching Out
    02:10:13 - Icks
    02:13:40 - Buying A House
    02:21:31 - Texting Office Hours
    02:54:21 - Friendship Breakups
    02:57:51 - Outro 

    The Viall Files
    enMay 30, 2024

    E754 RR - Danny and Nia Booko, LoverBoy vs Spritz Society, RHONJ Family Drama, and The Valley

    E754 RR - Danny and Nia Booko, LoverBoy vs Spritz Society, RHONJ Family Drama, and The Valley

    Today we invite Danny and Nia Booko to our studio, as the household discusses their experience filming The Valley. But first, we discuss Craig Conover being caught in a Spritz vs. LoverBoy debacle… is Craig in the wrong for investing in a competitor? Then we jump into RHONJ, and dissect Teresa’s dominance in the arena of family drama. Ending our pop culture discussion with the infamous Four Seasons Orlando baby. 

    “He pitched you a sitcom and y’all ended up on a soap opera.” 

    Start your 7 Day Free Trial of Viall Files + here: https://viallfiles.supportingcast.fm/ 

    Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to asknick@theviallfiles.com to be a part of our Monday episodes.

    To Order Nick’s Book Go To: http://www.viallfiles.com 

    If you would like to get some texting advice send an email to asknick@theviallfiles.com with “Texting Office Hours” in the subject line!

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    Timestamps:
    00:00 - Intro
    09:28 - Lake House
    11:24 - Loverboy and Spritz Society
    24:37 - Summerhouse
    51:08 - RHONJ
    01:04:55 - Four Seasons Baby
    01:11:20 - Welcome
    01:18:14 - The Valley
    01:53:52 - Jo VPR
    01:55:27 - Back To The Valley
    02:09:44 - Outro

    The Viall Files
    enMay 29, 2024

    E753 Ask Nick - Missionary Parents

    E753 Ask Nick - Missionary Parents

    Welcome back to another episode of The Viall Files: Ask Nick Edition! Dr Orna Guralnik, from the hit show Couples Therapy, joins us to talk about the new season and her take on therapy in general. Then we get to our callers… 

    Our first caller called in because she and her husband disagree on the gender for their next embryo transfer. Her husband wants to guarantee a boy, but she is persistent in leaving it a surprise. Our second caller is nervous because her long-term boyfriend is meeting her Christian missionary parents for the first time. Our caller’s faith is still important to her, but she doesn’t want to disappoint her parents due to her boyfriend’s lack of religion. Our final caller is wondering how to tell her parents that she doesn’t want to have kids and that her husband is getting a vasectomy. She already feels bad about moving to another country, and previous attempts have not ended well.

    Season 4 of COUPLES THERAPY premieres May 31 on Paramount+ with SHOWTIME.

    “There’s no tougher lesson for a parent, than their own kids demonstrating the right behavior when they’re not”

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    Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to asknick@theviallfiles.com to be a part of our Monday episodes. 

    To Order Nick’s Book Go To: https://www.viallfiles.com 

    If you would like to get some texting advice, send an email to asknick@theviallfiles.com with “Texting Office Hours” in the subject line! 

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    The Viall Files
    enMay 28, 2024