283 - A Descent Into Madness: The 1980 New Mexico Prison Riot

Did you ever think that overeating, specifically, could send your soul to Hell? Or that not losing enough weight, fast enough, could jeopardize your salvation? These are just some of the many terrible (and bizarre) messages that very skinny self-proclaimed "prophetess" Gwen Shamblin Lara preached before she died in a plane crash in 2021.   Sadly, the cultish church she built, lives on. And this week, we explore (and mock) its weirdly weight-centric teachings.

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Jim Miller. Killin' Jim. Right before stepping off a wooden crate with a noose around his neck, in front of the members of the lynch mob that wanted him dead, Miller claimed to have killed 51 men. I believe him. This guy put the wild... in the wild west.  Hope you enjoy this Short Suck! Have a great weekend!

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On the night of November 25th, 1996, Rick Wendorf, 49, and his partner Ruth Queen, 54, were beaten to death with a crowbar inside their home in Eustis, Florida, by a vampire over 500 years old known as Vesago. At least that's what their killer believed. "Vesago" was really Rod Ferrell, a sixteen year-old from Murray, Kentucky, who lost himself in a vampiric role playing game, and truly thought he'd become an immortal bloodsucker. 

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Exploring some super interesting and strange territory today. I might not be able to record any more podcasts because NOW MY BRAIN IS MELTED! In this episode, we explore the theoretical concept of the fourth dimension, see how it applies to the nature of our reality and our dreams, and explore how some think it proves the existence of the soul... and ghosts. (cue Twilight Zone melody...)

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Today's Short Suck is all about John List.  With a bankruptcy looming, worried about the shame he'd face for no longer being able to provide his family with the life they'd grown accustomed to, and supposedly worried about their salvation as well, John makes some extreme and horrific choices to "save" their souls. Hope you enjoy! And have a great weekend!

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Today I share the real practice and history of the classic Catholic exorcism that so many of us have seen in films like 1973's The Exorcist and 2023's The Pope's Exorcist. How does an exorcism actually work? Who qualifies? What is the official ritual? What is the history of exorcisms? All this and more - including an exploration of the real life exorcism that inspired the 1973 movie -  in this demon-infested episode.  The power of Christ compels you!  (to listen to this week's episode) 

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The Sunday Morning Slasher, Carl Watts, is thought to have killed over 100 women between Michigan and Texas, from 1974 to 1982. He's also the only US serial killer ever to almost be released from prison AFTER confessing to 13 murders in a plea deal. This guy was a creepy killing MACHINE. 

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 Today's Short Suck is all about the weird, wild world of penis enlargement! What options are out there? Are they safe? And why are so many unsatisfied with the length and girth of their one-eyed willies? Hope you enjoy! And have a great weekend!

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Between 1998 and 2006, at least 48 elderly women were strangled to death in Mexico City. These murders would lead to Mexico's first ever investigation into an active serial killer. The task force was certain that a man was responsible for the killings, and were shocked to realize the killer was a middle-aged mother of four.  A wannabe luchadora who told friends she once wrestled under the name of the Lady of Silence. 

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I've wanted to dig into this story for a couple of years now. Aaron seemed to have EVERYTHING going for him. And he threw it all away through committing the most confusing, impulsive acts of violence. How much did the severe case of CTE football gave him lead to the murder (and probably multiple murders) he committed? 

Congrats to the Suck Ranger, Tyler Sea, and please wish him luck on the next chapter of his life. He's a great dude and we will miss having him around! 

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Thanks to Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio for the first soundbed, and "CESARE RIDES AGAIN" by WombatNoisesAudio for the second soundbed. 

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Sign up through Patreon, and for $5 a month, you get access to the entire Secret Suck catalog (295 episodes) PLUS the entire catalog of Timesuck, AD FREE. You'll also get 20% off of all regular Timesuck merch PLUS access to exclusive Space Lizard merch. And you get the download link for my secret standup album, Feel the Heat.