So the end of Jan is nigh. Thank God. Loneliness is a terrible thing. I can't sleep on my own for one night. Look at dogs who don't get stroked. You know, I'm like down. You're down with the kids. I don't, booing you're someone's mum. You're not cool. I've got five-year-old Sam Burr to me. Like I'm some fool. Didn't know it changed from a pound of paint. Oh, to be you, eh?
Hello, and welcome to the therapy coach with me, Abby Clancy. Me, Peter Prouch. And Ross. Hello, how are we? Have a good thanks, yeah. Well, I've got to death. You won't have a freaking L. Do you know what? I've just finished with my whole family. She's up. I'm done with this. I'm done with all of you. I'm done with all of you. My part of that. No, but borderline. Borderline. Borderline. I don't want to take borderline. Yes. These days.
I'm desperately trying not to be pissed off with you, but I've just had it to here this week. Bit of a tense morning in the crouch household today. Do you know what?
My kids don't know the barn. I have called for a family meeting. I know I heard. This could be a first like family, crouch family meeting. No, it's a crisis. Crisis talks. Shit. You know, the teeth brush and the homework that eat the vegetables. It sounds pathetic, but I've just had enough. I think this goes on in most households. Oh, yeah. I mean, we've had many a family meeting. Yeah. I've been bollocked on bastards.
I've had a few sit downs as well myself, no, I was younger. I just need to get the control back. Those little squirts. Like my kids are good and thankfully when we're out in public, they're immaculately behaved in school, they're immaculate behaved. But it's, you know, especially when you're out working, they just look at me like I'm some kind of fool. It is difficult when the boss is away, you know what I mean?
You know it's like it works. Bosses out. Take teacher training day and day.
No, but I've had enough and they're going to know tonight. It's this and we'll have a meeting and we'll sit down and we'll set some boundaries. Unite at the front. You know, let's, let's practice your timetables. No, let's do the use balance. No. And I'm even trying to make it fun. I'm thinking of games and they just think I'm an idiot. And I've had enough. I've had enough. Is that your wine? That's my wine. That is my wine. That is my wine.
And I don't really like to moan about the kids on this pod too much. And I don't normally have a reason to, but I am done. There's going to be serious, serious changes in this house. Did you order them rewards charts? Still actually, yeah. Didn't think I did, did you? Don't even want to know. Oh, no. Oh, Christ.
How's your week been, Rosie? Yeah, I'm still enjoying it, being back at worst. Still enjoying? No getting into the routine side of the things. It was a bit of a slog, but always the first week back on that is Nippur. I feel like now in the January, we've kind of got back into our routine, which is nice. I feel like January just lasts forever.
I think a lot of people feel that way. Have you got any weekly wines for me? I don't know, timekeeping on this pod maybe. Timekeeping. Do you want me to tell you the reason why I'm late? Because I took my son to the dentist. He had to get a bit of treatment, which again is completely pissing me off because
I don't like... So this is my weekly one? No, I don't like sweet in the house. You know, when I try and brush their teeth, the resistant clothes in their mouths bite me. No, clothes in their mouths. You know, won't let me brush them. I can do it myself. Clearly you can't because now you have to go the dentist. If you wait half an hour, I can do the treatment there and then. So we did that, came home, did a food shop, then I've made sausage and mash. That's why I'm late. What the hell have you done?
I went to have London to work very, very early. What's with the competition? No, you said you're just saying, as if I had done anything, done something before. I take that back, I take that back, but time keep in. You know, I am a stiffer for being on time. It's like, it's very, very important to me being on time because it just shows manners. So you can't say that.
Well, I just did. I do have to be a Ross Wayne here for you, is what I'm trying to say. Regardless, I didn't ask why or how. Ross went for a win and I went to make onion gravy. Really? Like, I'm not sitting in there, like, having a believe me. We both discussed, I said, I knew you shouldn't have gone through to the toilet, because the minute you guys just went at you, and then you're gone for ages. I was like, there, she's gone for half an hour. Actually, the tide of the night, and it was the good thing. But I want you, and it's all like,
You can't sit still, can you? When you're sat still, you're like, I can see your brain ticking and going, I need to be doing something. Because I just think doing nothing is lazy. But you're allowed to sometimes just chill. You don't have to always be doing something.
I'm flying low. I know, I did notice it, but I was going to bring it out for the video. The Alkeneidians succeed, though. That's a lot. I'm like, I mean, it's all it. Yeah, we'll talk us through the outfit today. Obviously, the full... The outfit is... The outfit is... It's a liar, number one. Well, don't mess about with that. Number two, it was the first thing that was clean. Like, I'm in my fleece era. Yeah. I'm totally attracted to fleeces. I can boot at the moment. I just want to go and live in a field on my own with the fleece on.
Where did you please? On a horse. I decided to prepare animals. I knew that anyway. If you just seen me out in the late 90s. Yeah. Well, I'd say we're a lot as around 17, 18, 14 suit. I want the talent. I got the machine suit. What? What is it? It's just a denim shirt and a pair of jeans. It's a double denim. Double denim. It's a double denim look. Yeah, but... Channel and my inner cowgirl.
You look great. Anyway, should we get some audience wines? Because I feel like this could go south. If we don't move on quick. Hi, everybody. First of all, I just wanted to say thank you for making my car journeys so much more entertaining. I'm always gutted whenever the episode ends and I still have time left in the journey. I might have to start listening back from start again soon. Anyway, I've never. Oh, my God.
That would be a fun thing to do. Well, yeah, the first part would be interesting to see how it's evolved. Anyway, they've never had to podcast before, but when I heard the conversation about Denim's ski suit, interesting that we've just been discussing Denim, this got my attention on a different level.
I have worked in the denim industry for more than 10 years now. I lived in China and Hong Kong, travelled to lots of different denim manufacturing plants where I've learned everything from yarns, fabrics, washing and garment manufacturing. I previously worked on the design team and now I manage a supply chain for UK customers in denim. I want to say this fellow or lady knows about denim, knows the stuff. Maybe we should make our own jeans together.
Sorry Pete, even though you had me howling with laughter when you were listing sports fabric properties and taking the piss out of the denim jumpsuit. But I can confirm there are actual denim fabrics that are able to keep you warm, cool, dry waterproof.
Etc. Available on the market. But Pete's right. Sounds expensive. They are expensive because no one buys into them apart from the big expensive brands, maybe. Anyway, I hope you've enjoyed this brief denim lesson. And if Abby wants a custom made denim jumpsuit that is available for cold weather, I can arrange this. Thanks, Amy. Interesting that I wouldn't say I don't know. I'm still dubious on the fact that denim is a ski wear. Yeah, I've been skiing many times. I've never seen anyone in denim ever.
But... FaceTime for everything though. Amy knows our genes, yeah. I know when we go skiing, I'll be bored after one run. And I'll just be looking harder, more than a mile fit in the bar. That's true. Yeah, me to the bar. No, I'm joking. No, I am fashion. Yeah, yeah. Listen, you'd rather be wet and fashionable than dry and not.
You see a lot of people skiing in Bikini's, have you? Yeah. Have you seen that? And one piece of some fellas as well, Pete? No, really? You did the bar at once. No way. I hate being old.
I saw someone skiing all day. I don't know if it was, did you see it? I think it was on one of the ski groups that were on because we potentially might be going skiing. Yeah, we are going skiing. Did you say we potentially might be going skiing? I wasn't sure if we told everyone that we were going or not, but we are going. We're doing our first family ski trip, which I'm slightly dubious about. We're going into that. Did you see the fellow when he skied right down, went straight up and into the hot tub?
No, I showed you that. Yeah, I get with that though. So if you're seeing it, you're skiing down the mountain, then it just turns right, goes up a slope and straight and like lands in a hot tub and just... No, the skis come after me. No, because he floats down, standing up on the skis. So they go down to the bottom and then he just tilts. I'm not quite there yet. I like hot tubs. No.
I think a hot tub, we did it in Finland, a hot tub in the freezing cold is nice. Yeah, that's perfect. If you go out freezing and get in the hot tub and I think it's kind of, I don't know, it's something about that, it's lovely. It's like a reverse plunge pool almost isn't it, yeah? I don't like the cold.
Have fun skiing. Well, you'll have fun skiing. Everyone's saying it's not that cold. We didn't do the whole ski thing because obviously Pete was a professional footballer and he was never allowed to go. Yeah. And then we had like three babies in five years. They were all too young. It just seemed like too much half. Yeah. I was like, absolutely. No. But now they're at the right age. And I think they wouldn't, I think they're going to love it.
So we're going to visit some of our friends who live in a ski destination. Ski resort. And yeah, I can't wait to get all the kids together. It's just, it's just if they are behaving like the behaving now.
to cancel. Cancel? They're just pushing boundaries. They're just trying to like, you know, like homework, I think they're arguing about and obviously teeth brushing or arguing about and things like that. And they're not bad children. They're great children. I'm not saying that, but it's just anyway. Anyway, I would love a denim jumpsuit, Amy. Let's get our heads together. Let's stay in touch, Amy. Yep. If you get a denim one for me as well, that's one.
Get just a big pair of jeans. That would be ideal. Let it double, double, then quadruple, then quadruple, then. Because you can't get a gene to fit you only two tall, because Dior used to do the perfect leg length for you. Well, as you can imagine, they cost a fortune and they've actually stopped with that length. A fitted denim like Jean, for me, would actually be an absolute game changer.
So, yeah, please definitely give it up.
Okay, moving on. Hi, Abby, Pete and R. Ross. I hope you're well. Myself and my husband have been together for 13 years now. Although we only got married last year, as we never had the money to do it previously, we still don't. But we managed to pull enough cash together to have a small wedding in the registry office and then a party at our local rugby club. And we had the best day and night. Literally, everyone that was at our wedding said it was the best time and wished they had done something similar.
I didn't wear a wedding dress, but I opted for some jeans. I still was a genius. Just made to wear this as well. A nice white blazer. Check it changed. No. Why?
You know, it was sort of a denim heavy. Well, the whole part is about denim so far. I didn't wear a wedding dress, but I opted for some jeans, a nice white blazer and white canvas. My husband wore a great pair of jeans and a beautiful tweed blazer and shirt. Just want to let people know who are thinking about it, to just go for it. You won't regret a small wedding. Love the pod. That's after you said, basically people shouldn't get married.
I just said it doesn't have to be all in. I actually listened back to that and found it quite offensive.
You know, it was like completely alluding to the fact that your arm arrages like one huge mistake. And the only reason that you did it is because we had severe. That's what I took from that. Well, that doesn't surprise me that you took that. But this is not how it was supposed to. It wasn't intended in that way. I was talking about other people. Our situation was perfection. I wouldn't have done it any other way. But I think for other people, sometimes they work. They just very much like about, they have to get married.
I think you have to. I didn't even like go into weddings, do you? I mean, it's not many, really, but I've stopped my friends with stars with the engagement, obviously, our John and our Ellie and stuff like that. But I used to wear weddings and they were fucking nightmares. You want us to? Big, big nightmare. What do you work on? Strip the...
officiating. No, just like a silver service in that book. What's funny is everyone. Yeah. Hey, you should see me with a spoon and a fork. I believe all. And like everyone thinks you've got their own kind of like specific like what's the word tailored wedding and it's so unique in that book. You realize pretty quickly there's about five songs that do the rounds like songs like you have carbon copy them. I'd be a great one. Actually not. I had 10, 300 of them. Really? Yeah. Did you do loads of loads of loads of loads of them? Yeah, 10, 15 a week.
Any bad, anyone's worth their way of light, it kicked off. Yeah, we had an Irish, we had not dug out pretty lively. The outdid the bar records, say, I don't make a figures up, say they usually took two round the night or whatever, they did like eight grand the night and then destroyed all the hotel rooms through various means, which you would say on camera. Wow.
Yeah, I think that's, I think that's the best way to do a wedding. Get your nearest and dearest, or the people that you're going to have a laugh with. None of this politics, if you're in love, do it. Yeah, no, definitely. I totally agree. It's the people that method, isn't it? It's the people very much. That's what life's about, people. Yeah. That's the most important thing. The use around to buy the people.
Totally agree. Even though I'm rehoming my children. So the end of Jan is nigh.
Thank God. We can't wait for dry feb. You know, we've January is pretty busy for us. You know, we have Christmas, obviously Christmas, New Year, Johnny's birthday, my birthday, your birthday, Alfie's birthday. Yeah. Caroline Giddings birthday, everyone's birthday. You can't do dry jam with all of them in the color of the Kenya. No.
No, unfortunately not. We've, yeah, we've log floomed down into the one of the wettest jams. And we've got one more birthday to go on our friend. It's her birthday on the 29th and we've got Peter on the 30th. Peter is working on our friend Carly's birthday.
The planet like a husband's like planned a big meal and Pete's trying to change the whole party. He's like, can't we just do on the 28? I'm obviously the fuck I'm missing out. How many times did you do a request get ignored? By the way, just ignored it and just plowed on with the organisation. I think it's just totally, I don't know.
It's completely fine. I was just hoping, I was hopeful. Come on. Shaggers don't get sweet to pee. You've got a rascal, yeah. I think once he knew I was going, they were fine. They turned their head. Yeah, I can't. I'm on the bus. I'm usually a plus one. And it is a bit of a p-take because they're like all basically all your mates.
That's what I'm missing out, you know what I mean? Pals from golf. But the girls are my best friends, so yeah. Well, you know. And then it's your birthday, baby. Yeah, well, you'll just be hung over for that one. That's a smile. I'm not, I'm not, but I'm not, anyway. 44. I don't want to know. I don't want to know about the age.
That sounds mad at. Sounds like 50. I just hear 50 when I hear that. You said that when I was in the 30s. When you were 25, I was like, oh my God, you're nearly 30. What'd you do to be 30 again, 15 years ago? That was for you. Well, yeah, it wasn't really, was it? 14. I was thinking, then, if I got that wrong, how am I still in my 30s? But when you were 30, it was 15 years ago.
When you start doing it like that, it's not good. Listen, I feel great. That's why I'm looking at it. How do you like to normally ring your birthday in Peter? You're a big like, do you like a big celebration or you know, more of a kind of like a day to yourself? I like to celebrate. It's not really about my birthday. I'm not bothered about that, really. I'm just bothered about like, you're just getting your mates together and stuff and just having a bit of her.
funds on the top of your list. Yeah, just having fun. Yeah. Like, that's it, really. It's quite nice as well, because Jan Theatre, normally people have been paid by then. Dry January, no one's out. Oh, fuck it. It's basically the end of the month. I love it, Bevy and all that. Like, you're in the sweet spot of January. You're almost celebrating it. Yeah. People, people, people quit their dry jam for you. Whereas I get that all the dry jam, hardcore, hardcore, hardcore. Yeah, you don't want that.
I've actually got another weekly wine actually. So we went to London. I had to go to the doctors the other day. And we said, oh, she'll have a little nice walk around, Harrods. Yeah.
I just bought these amazing, I'm in my hike and boot era. My hike and boot fleece era. I got these amazing hike and boots. And Pete was like, oh, I'd love a pair of them. So I said, well, I'll get you some feedback. So we went to Harrods and Pete got the boots, lovely pair of sunglasses, all kitted out.
And he was like, oh, did you get any? And I was like, no. So then I said, my sister was like, what did you do? Oh, did you get any nice? I said, I got Pete's leftover Chinese in a goodie bag while Pete was like head to toe and Prada.
So Zav is carrying a bag and I wasn't sure because you were looking at a few things, weren't you? But obviously you didn't buy anything. But he came out and I had a bag. I thought like, oh yeah, that was great. Now I've got some shoes and some sunglasses. I thought, I'm laughing, I feel like, do you get the thing? And then she, I realized that she was carrying, we went for a trident and we, we didn't eat it. Also we were taking it at home with us. She's just literally leaving her and with a bag of old trident. You can take the game. That's a leather field pick.
When I lost the sunglasses, my brand-new sunglasses set up for Christmas, just put on and lost them. Cold sweet and sour. I went to Harrods and came out of a cold sweet and sour. No, but I was trying to be good. You shouted at me. No, you did well. I said you should get something. No, you said, I need to stop buying things. So I did. No, because it was getting out of control. You got an addiction. Every, that's every day. Oh my God. What did you say to me last night in bed? Quote.
What did you say to me last night, men? He said, oh, I can see how this gets addicted, babe. It's like that on a clothes website. I don't look at clothes ever, right? But it's some traders, nice traders. So I had a little look at some trader sites.
So I'm young and hip, you know what I mean? So I'm browsing some trailer sites, really cool ones. And yeah, and I couldn't stop. I was like, oh, this is great. This, I was really getting into it. But obviously I realized that because you do that every single night, like she'll go, Pete, come on, I want to go to bed. It's like nine o'clock and I'm watching the football and I'll obviously turn the football off. And you know, because we're doing something nice together. And then we'll go up there and she ignores me for an hour and a half.
I've never done a new year's resolution because I've got zero willpower and I've never stuck to anything. I'm going to take a leaf out of Pete's book and just do one big shop in the winter and one big shop in the summer.
My only problem with this. That's going to be a big fucking shot mate. I've got two issues. One of them is that big shot will be big. And then the other one is that those midweek like snacks are going to stop. We're just going to have a monster and continue with our progress throughout the year as well. So I feel like that's always goes back.
I always hear, and I reckon there's loads of women out there going, just goes back. I always take it back though. Don't buy it then. Just don't buy it in the first place. You have to try it on.
You got an addiction, I'm gonna put all my clothes into charity, start again. I want five outfits, five amazing outfits, mixed and match, staple wardrobe, I don't want all this clutter. I'm gonna put it into charity, my daughter doesn't want it, my daughter thinks I'm a freak, and all my clothes choices are pathetic.
She's made that very clear. I thought you and Sufi would be like having a little star vibe. They will do it. No, she takes everything. Everything I pick is ridiculous and revolting. I'm like, don't put your North Face back on and you bloody sucks and cracks. Sucks and cracks. That's not true. She really values your opinion. She wouldn't say that to you. But she does value it. The way when you talk, she really gets into it when you talk to her about it.
But girls, you do battle. I remember me, my sister and my mom, they always battling. Yeah, for sure. You just, that's what you do. Girls and bitches. Yeah, for sure. How's that loyal?
to all I've got to say all that. Yeah, cause I thought you and Sofia were going to like an event together or something last week, weren't you? Let's try that. Sofia had a school event. Oh yeah. And she was singing at this school event, which takes guts. It was like, it was like a hundred kids in the school, in a house. Yeah. So she had to sing in front of all of them that, you know, right up into their 18 year olds. And they, oh my God, who's this one girl there? Her name was Ruby. My God.
Yeah. The voice, like, watch out Adele. And I love Adele. She was, oh my, phenomenal. I had three school dads when they had their way to pull me back to fear and say, like, how well was she saying? Yeah, she was incredible and it takes good. What did she think? She sang a song from Annie, Opportunity, which I was helping her the night before. I could hear you here. I love Annie.
It's from the new Annie, though. Oh, is it? Yeah. Yeah, she did incredibly well. So me and me might want to watch her at that. Yeah. But you know, she still had me by the balls the whole day. I'm not doing it, Mum. I'm not doing it. I don't know it. It's still like making me freak out a panic all day. You know, this, like, mental torture. Yeah. I just wonder where she gets it from. She's really surprised me that your children have grown up with that.
You're such a dream, isn't it? I'm like, they're going to please, if you're too, you're amazing. We've practiced. No, I'm not doing it. You're like panicking. But the girls put on the whole night themselves and they were all the whole housework. They were singing and dancing and played. This is one girl on a drum. She was so cool. It was a great night. He was saving us all the food. I miss that one. Lovely. I was doing football, unfortunately.
When you see a pretty positive January, you're not a big, you didn't seem to in your January blues mode. Blue one, they didn't seem to be a thing for you guys. I feel like you've had a good start. I'm actually never down. I'm wound up and pissed off and mental. Yeah. But I'm not, I'm not a downy person at all. That's a real problem. I don't, I don't want to surround yourself with people who are like, they'll be down as yeah, negative. Don't.
I'm not a flat person to be around. I don't like it. When the kids are like it sometimes, well, that's one of the issues we're going to discuss. I don't expect negativity. This is going to be in our family meeting tonight for one particular child.
God, I kind of want to stay for this family ministry of flight. You need to be calm in this family meeting. I'm not going to say anything. Should we have a run through the family? How's it going to go? Would you say? Well,
She says there's a few issues that we need to raise and these are the issues. Oh, and our John wound me up as well. He texts me. He sent me a voice known fact. He said, um, I'm just reading this book and there's a bit, a whole section on about like child psychology. Yeah. And you say to them, Oh, I love how you tie to your room. It makes me so happy instead of getting there and clean that room now. Yeah. I love how you do your homework. It makes me so proud. Yeah. But you can do that all by yourself.
That makes perfect sense. It does make perfect sense, but when you're at the end of your tether, that method is not working. I think you should maybe take a little bit of onboard. This family meeting is going to be positive. First of all, the main thing that I want them to realize, one of them to realize is that to be grateful and to just change the attitude and be happy. I would love to know what other people are doing at home to deal with teenagers.
And it's like, and then seeing another human being. And she's an angel. I know, I know, I know. Angel. Oh, kids are like that to be fair. Absolute angel, like to other parents and to other kids. And it's just like, I think I'm a cool mom. I would love to be my mom. I would love me to be my mom. Yeah, best friend. Yeah. I've said that before.
I'd love to be my own best friend. You know, I'm... I'm young, I'm head and trendy, yeah. I'm like down with it. You're down with the kids, I don't... Booney or someone's mum, you're not cool with. I've got five-year-old same bra to me, like I'm some fool. Do me a head. Funny, I think. I don't. I don't. It's the laughin' at me. I've evolved in that now. It's like bra, no way. The laughin' at me. If I go, oh kids, you have a little... You go get a little ice cream like bra.
Monkeys. How's all your name? Bored and brother text gone down. Speaking of art, John. Oh my God. Should I read mine out? Yeah. So I had so much enjoyment. You really, really enjoyed it. Because I was on my own and I thought, I'm just going to do this.
So I opened a little bottle of wine, a couple of glasses of wine, and I was... And a little bottle of wine. I was... I was hysterical. You were three stars, I should have matched. Yeah. And she just kept coming and sharing with various different wizards. So I got my dad, Alfie. And our John. So this is... What did your dad reply to with the... So this is what I said to my dad. So this is... This is what I said to my dad. This is what I said to my dad. This is what I said to my dad. This is what I said to my dad. This is what I said to my dad. This is what I said to my dad. This is what I said to my dad. This is what I said to my dad. This is what I said to my dad. This is what I said to my dad. This is what I said to my dad. This is what I said to my dad. This is what I said to my dad. This is what I said to my dad.
It's a lovely sunny day. So he takes back, great, same here. And he sent me a picture of the live a building saying, I'm on my way to Costco. So I said, wow, what's that lovely building? Is that Liverpool?
So he texts me back. It's the live a building, you lunatic. So I said, oh my God, I've never heard of that before. That's so cool. Are they no? So he texts back, are you messing? It's the famous live a building. I was like, no, never heard of it. So I get another picture. No, I heard of it. So I get another picture and I text back. Wow. So he texts me back, stop being a tick. I said, what? Stop being a tick.
What? I said it looks like Big Ben, just live with anyone who doesn't know. He's got Big Clocker. He said it was built last year while you were in Suriha. I said, nice.
So then he went, actually, it started in 1908, completed in 1911, and it cost 800,000 pounds. The clock face is the largest in the UK, sends a shiver down my spine each time I see it. And the live of birds, the live of birds flat their wings every time a virgin walks past it. So I said, what are you on about? Are you wearing to me off? They actually move.
And then he sent me more history on the live films. He shot him educating. And then he said, it was black and white in the 60s when I was a kid with all the smoke, but it got cleaned in the 70s. I just text him back, cool. So then I said, just about to get my nails done. Don't know what color to do. I text back, fuck off. What an amazing question. Father and daughter.
So, then I got Alfie. I got out. Do you want to hear Alfie then? So good. So I got Alfie. Just the final one. Fuck off. So I started Alfie's with that lovely bacon and M&S as half price. So it ticked back, lol. Was that meant for me? I said, yeah. He said, lol, what on earth are you talking about?
So then I said, like, two hours later, it's so mild. And he went, the bacon, I'm so confused. I said, no, outside. So he's like, are you fucking having me on? That's what I'd expect. What the hell? Three hours later. God. So three hours later, I had to attack some God. I hope I sleep tonight. So he said, back, shut the fuck off. So I said, question mark. And then he said, what on earth are you talking about?
I was at six o'clock, nine p.m. My bed is so comfy. Seriously, Abby, what the fuck? What is wrong with you? I said, there's something wrong with you. He said, we established that years ago, could you please tell me what's going on? He said, so I said, you're so mean to me. So then that was the end of that.
Then at 10 p.m. I text him, anyway, I've got to send all them letters off tomorrow, I'm dreading it. So he said, ah, F off. So I said, what the hell's got into you? He said, oh, my god, I'm in fits. I sent my head back to do the all.
If I did this to you, you would go mad. Then 11pm. My leg is killing. What leg? I said, it's fine. I'm just going to have a little cup of tea and a little cake. Kit Kat and I'll be fine. So you said, what leg you freak. Oh, Abby, you're doing my knot in. Good night. Fantastic. Great bad. It's good for it. It is. So our John's wasn't as funny, but it was likely, won't he?
So I text him the same thing. That lovely bacon is on offer an M&S. So he takes back what? I said that lovely bacon half price. It didn't answer me. Didn't answer me. So then I text didn't answer me. So then I said, um, my leg is killing.
So that was the end of that. Am I leaving this room? So Friday morning, I said, no idea what nail color should go for, any thoughts? So he said, what the fuck are you on? And then he FaceTimed me. I was like, because I think he thought I was like going loopy. Yeah. And he was like, are you OK? And I'm like, yeah, I'm fine. And then he started saying, send me, I've just stepped in a puddle. Yeah, my stuff is really wet.
So then he got on to it. Oh my God, the amount of pleasure. I got out to that. You know, laughing is just the best thing. And I know it's pathetic and very childish, but yeah, I loved it. No, it's good fun. It's quite harmless as well. I'm all for it. Harmless banter. Yeah, all for it. I get the abs.
Heil, Carly Peay, the Clants, and Tudor Bob Ross. Situation ship. He looks a Tudor Bobbie today. No, I was going to at least cut me out. But I think she's gone, hasn't she? It's a dado. Is that Sally from Coriol A? I still think Rose Richey goes. Same hair goes. I'll take that.
I've been best friends with this girl for years and years, sparing some of the details.
Spare some details we always had a thing but for various reasons nothing ever happened fast forward to today we both have come out long-term relationships almost a year ago but we're back stronger and find ourselves basically acting as if we're an item although she's moved she's moving slow she's met my family often stays at my house.
But from her side, nothing. She's not ready for me to meet the family. And she has no plans to invite me on these family holidays that are being planned for the year. Now, I must say, I love this girl and I see my life ahead with her, with me and her. But am I being taken from a mug? Or shall I carry on waiting for the one hoping she feels the same? I don't think he's been a mug.
Love the pod, can't wait for the laughs on the long commute. But we need to get clear. Are they getting freaky with it? Are the Bongbeats playing? Right, back in the eye, yeah, definitely. We get a situation. Ship is basically friends with benefits, but let's go on a little bit like fair there. I'm not. I don't know that work. I've never been across that situationship phrase before. But if I sit in love, I do say it. Go down. Go down, bro.
We're in a fucking situation. Here we are. It's literally what we are. There's no situation again. There's no situation again. There can be friends of benefit, basically. They're even friends. There's definitely no benefits. Well, it's just like roommates. You're like, oh, don't even remain. We just brew these co-op.
That's not nice. He texts me in lovely. No, he texts me yesterday. Just having a little airport sausage and thought I'd tell you how much I love you. We've been together 20 years and that's very rare. Oh, that is a nice text. And I bet you there wasn't expected it to be read out nationwide. No, I don't mind. It was, that was, yeah. I forgot I did it, but I was just thinking of you. Just little things. You forgot you sent me that message? Well, yeah, it was ages ago. Like three days ago when you were in the airport. Yeah.
No, I'm obviously a seller. So is it a lie? Well, obviously not. This will keep us sweet. Oh, my God. I'm joking. Well, I was like very much. Vince, what I was saying? You'd miss an airport app. You sat all by myself. Yeah. What is this so calm at this airport? Are there a store of you? No. Anyway, let's help. You're actually
What? What more? They're nice. No, I think there's a flag been raised. I don't know what colour it is. What's the one in between? Beige. I think potentially. She might like hanging with his family and his...
His friends and stuff like that and his family might not be his phone or the dynamic not be. You know, some people are like a bit shy to hang around with the family, aren't they? A hundred percent. A lot of people are like very much like, oh, don't come around, man. You don't want to meet my life. I've definitely been with people like that in the past. Like, yeah. Study on. No, like, even like me too, as well. Like, you know what I mean? Like, oh, like, me family always have a method and stuff like that. Like, don't come around and type of thing. Maybe just something like that. But it might be also she wants to keep a situation, Jim.
Yeah, but she must like him. What does ding dong doe, ding ling? Girls don't like penises. Well, you might be a girl. I was thinking this, like we're looking for best friends with a girl. That's not often, might be a girl. What, two girls? Yeah. Well, because they never actually said if they're about all.
Well, either way, she might just like the love and not the emotional baggage that comes with it, which a lot of people do. I think he should just, or she should just sit her down and say, look, my feelings as few as strong. Yeah. Is this reciprocated? Because I don't
I don't see a future with in this situation ship or if it's called situation with them. I don't like that I want something more I love you are your feelings the same what are we let's put label on this come on.
I think so. I think that's fine. Just say, just, I think, say how you feel. You know, I'm just because you're not introducing me to your family and you're going away on trips. You don't want me to come on them, but you know, all my cards are on the table. I feel like it's not specific. Just be honest with that. And then I'm sure that you'll find out one way or the other. Hmm. Quite. Okay. I think the use today, they were a lot more emotionally intelligent. So so woke, aren't they? They can just say like,
Mm, brah. Moon about shit, constantly. Yeah, I'm thinking I'm going to talk about shit constantly. Do you know what I mean, though? Well, you said that you're just moaning, moaning. Oh, yeah. Well, they're moaning for a good cause, this is a good thing. Go on. Okay. Do you want to read one?
Please, please keep me anonymous. Subject Hotney Moon advice for a couple on a budget. Dear Abby and Pete, I hope you both well. My husband and I absolutely love your podcast. It's such a great source of comfort and advice. I'm reaching out today as we're planning our honeymoon and as much as we're excited, we also feel a bit overwhelmed.
We're on a very, very limited budget, which is a little tricky since we're about to start IVF and have faced some financial setbacks after being scammed by a dodgy gardener, which is such a blow. So our honeymoon will be a modest three night trip, but we're hopeful it can still be special.
My husband has never been abroad before and as he has healthcare needs so I'd like to make sure we're heading somewhere with accessible healthcare just in case. We're also both super active and love running and cycling and it would be amazing if we could find a place with some spin classes or similar activities. Any advice or suggestions on destinations or ways to make our honeymoon unforgettable on a budget would mean the world to us. Thanks so much for all the great advice you share. It's always so appreciated. We're two
Very in love people just hoping to make the most of a challenging time and start our next chapter in a meaningful way, warmly the newlyweds. Oh, that's nice. You know, when you're in love, you could bloody be in a tent together, I think.
So john did a trip at christmas which he loved, they rented like a little cottage in the dark moors and took the dog, and it was like a wifi free zone, they stocked up, they went to the shops but bought some gorgeous food, the place that they rented a little kitchen, they made incredible food, went on amazing walks, walked through the little villages,
lit the fire at night and absolutely loved it. Watch movies. The only money they spent was obviously going to do anyone else to do a bit of shopping and stuff to cook. We're on big long walk for hours and hours and cut the pipes in the local pub. I think that's a lovely thing to do. Get the fire on at night and just be together. Just download your movie before I run. If that was just any advice.
That could also be, you know, more romantic than going to Paris. I think that's so romantic, don't really like that for me. Because you're on your own, just together, great food, nice few bottles of wine, stop the car up, put your bikes on the roof.
get there. They could do cycling through the Dartmoor moors or like Cornwall, Cornwall's gorgeous, Newquay. Sounds like they need, you know, healthcare near to them. So yeah, you can still be isolated, but I'm sure there's towns and cities that you can get to as long as you can find something like that. But you can definitely find it along those other places. There's so many. But you could even do a little like Portugal trip. Yeah. It's a couple of hours away. The hospitals are great there.
Yeah. Let me do that on a budget. Airbnb, try that. Mm-hmm. My mate just finished two years, busking around Europe. He plays saxophone. And I asked him the other day, what he went to literally every country in Europe. I said, what was the best favorite place that he went to? And I was like skipping a beat. He was like, it sounds random, but it was Bosnia. He went, I had this thing in my head that it was going to be X, Y and Z. And he was like, I was totally blown it over by it. So much so that he spoke to go again next year. He's like, that was my favorite place in Europe.
He said it was dead sheep, the people were lovely, stunned and scenery. He spoke to again to him next year for a week. And out of everywhere in Europe, and he literally went every single book, well, every place, every country, he said that was the best. Oh, brilliant. Good thought. And cheap, but I don't know about the healthcare over there, so maybe we'll come to it. Bratislava's meant to be nice as well. Cheapest pines in Europe. Bratislava, an average. Is it really? How much do you do? Yeah. And would you order something? Yeah, I know it's meant to be really nice as well. Very smaller.
I didn't know it changed from a pound of paint.
Okay, where are we now? Last one, is it? Okay, hi, Pete, Abby and Ross. Standard. Day one listener here also dying to see what Ross looks like. I'm 40 years old and I've worked hard to build a good life myself. I have a successful career, my own house, great friends and generally lovely life. However, I've been single for a long time.
seven plus years. Despite having so much love around me, I'm feeling lonely and craving the intimacy and affection of a romantic partner. However, this seems to be impossible to find in this modern era of dating. I don't want to F.W.B. Fed the benefits. Oh, OK. We'd have no bother getting one of those. I love it. I see why you haven't got a fella.
I'm going to say, you need to be a little bit... He's a... Mother's still never hit anyone more. No, what she's saying is any... It's got a great house, it's incredible. No, what she's saying is... I'm fucking drunk. They're gorgeous. No, what she's saying is, she's not going to struggle in the Friends of Benefits department, but she doesn't want that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A booty call. Yeah, of course, I kick that. And I'm giving up hope of finding any real true connection. Help me, please. I'm at a complete loss.
Do you know what I think we should do? I think we should set up our own date and app, or like do a date and show. Oh yeah, I like the idea of that. We call people together because so many people ask us for help. We matchmakers. Because we're a matchmaker in heaven. Let's face it. We are. Yeah. I think that every time we go. We've got some knowledge on the subject. Don't you be lucky. Ever argue?
You just call the gym a fucking cohabitants from five minutes ago. We're not even friends, we're no benefits, we're cohabitants. You can piss off. No, but I do think we have got some knowledge in this debate. You know, we are still together 20 years and the main thing we're still in love.
Like we're helping, babe. We're helping now. But I would love, you know, cause you know, remember that time that girl wrote into us and said, you know, she's four foot 10. Yeah. She can't get a fella. And then that guy wrote in saying, I'm an animal lover. I'm available. I'm a 5 foot 2. Yeah. I would love a 4 foot 10 girlfriend. You know, this is perfect for me. We get a lot of this. We should help people on a bigger scale, find their match. Maybe this will be our first project.
She could be our first project. What is that name? Is that a girl's name? Alfie, isn't it? Efa. Efa. Efa. A little Irish babe. Oh my god, we should know what we should- It's difficult in this day and age. I wouldn't want to be single in this day and age looking for love. Oh my god, do you know what we could do? Know what we could do? We could- I thought you were going to say looking like this.
Parple. You jumped right on that one, didn't you? I'm sorry, I apologise to our listeners if I've been a hit today but I'm just at the end of my entire life. It's one of them days and I've got a sore throat and a headache. Do you know what we should do? Do you know what we should do? Nobody did like a speed date, anything we could put Ross in the mix because no one knows what you look like. Undercover.
No, but what we could do is, we could get people to review the dates. I'd love to know what the reviews on Ross wear. But he could speak Spanish to them, he could pull, can you do any accents? Hello there, have Ross. He can't say claims Ross, that's completely. Hello there, I'm Josh. Josh.
That should have bought a giveaway. Yeah, kind of like Sally from the book. Sally Jesse Raphael. We should help her. What was the last thing she doesn't think she's going to. No, she's slightly worried. I'm joking about the honesty thing. She obviously didn't really well. She's, you know, bought her own house, worked hard, successful.
Papit loneliness is a terrible thing. I can't sleep on my own for one night, ever mind, seven years. Just for someone to touch your leg or hold your hand, having like physical touch. It's like a form of torture, having no physical touch. It is. Look at dogs who don't get stroked. They have like mental
issues, it's a real thing. I'd encourage you to get out there, get on the date and scene, get on the- I think so. And you know what, as much as you say about the apps and that line, you think you meet people that you wouldn't want them, you never know. My only worry with the app is that it is just like a bit of a booty call.
Is there a specific app where it's for like no booty calls? Is that the word? I don't know. I keep saying booty call. Like it's a thing. Yeah, that's a thing. Yeah, that's a thing. I'm not sure. It's hard. Well, trying to the lonely heart club in the Metro.
If you've got great friends, surely they've got other friends that you can introduce to like-minded. Or maybe we should be the first therapy crowd to go and date in projects. Yeah, let us know, though, because I'm interested in this one. Maybe we should take her out with us, like, on the town. Get her some...
That's day and end. Wow! Well, that's the end of today's part. We've got to wrap it up with that one. No, I'm going to say it now. That's the loot. What can we end this part by saying Happy Birthday to Peter? Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to Peter!
Have a good day to you. Thank you. Bye Marilyn. Cheers guys, we'll see you next time. That's got to stay in.