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    You Are a Badass: Unlock Your Most Authentic Self in 4 Proven Steps

    enJuly 24, 2023
    What does it mean to be authentic?
    How did Mel Robbins' journey influence her views on authenticity?
    Why is scripting responses valuable in difficult situations?
    What role does creating belonging for others play in authenticity?
    How can one address issues like discrimination or rudeness effectively?

    Podcast Summary

    • Embracing Your Authentic SelfBe true to yourself, accept who you are, and surround yourself with people who support and appreciate you. Seek guidance if needed.

      Being the most authentic version of yourself means accepting and embracing who you truly are. Mel Robbins shares her own journey of trying to please others and hating herself in the process, which resulted in misery. She realized that the breakthrough came when she accepted herself and stopped trying to be someone else. Being authentic means having your own opinions, wearing what you want, dancing when you feel like it, and surrounding yourself with people who make you feel great. It's about showing up as you are, without fear or hesitation. While it may be difficult to teach someone else how to be authentic, seeking guidance from an expert can be helpful for those struggling with their identity.

    • The Power of Authenticity and Self-AdvocacyEmbracing one's authentic self and advocating for one's identity fosters a sense of belonging and empowers both individuals and communities.

      Embracing and expressing one's authenticity is crucial for a sense of belonging and personal empowerment. Ritu Bhasin highlights the importance of reclaiming her name's correct pronunciation, symbolizing her identity and cultural heritage. By taking a stand and creating a video to guide others on pronouncing her name correctly, she not only alleviates anxiety for both herself and others but also asserts her power and demands respect. This act of authenticity and self-advocacy showcases the significance of empathy and understanding in fostering connections and building a sense of belonging. It reinforces the idea that acknowledging and respecting individual identities and experiences is vital for creating a more inclusive and supportive environment.

    • Embracing Authenticity for a Sense of BelongingBeing true to ourselves and letting go of the fear of judgment or rejection allows us to experience a deeper sense of belonging within ourselves and in our interactions with others.

      Embracing and being your authentic self is crucial for experiencing a sense of belonging. Many people struggle with standing in their power and asking for what they need because they fear judgment or dislike from others. However, every action and behavior we engage in, whether it's a small interaction with a barista or a significant conversation with a leader, can contribute to claiming our authenticity and belonging. Authenticity and belonging go hand in hand, with belonging being the profound feeling of acceptance and honor we hold within ourselves. Self-reflection, self-awareness, and being intentional are essential in recognizing when we are not our authentic selves. By shedding the masks of performing and embracing who we truly are, we can cultivate a deeper sense of belonging.

    • The Pitfalls of Conforming in Society and the WorkplaceTrue belonging comes from being authentic and honoring oneself, rather than changing to fit societal expectations. Use your body as a guide to cultivate a sense of belonging.

      Many individuals often feel the need to conform and perform in order to fit into societal norms and workplace cultures. This can involve changing aspects of their identity, such as their name, accent, appearance, and behavior. However, this act of fitting in does not equate to true belonging. True belonging is rooted in how an individual feels in their body and involves being honored and accepted for who they truly are. It is a profound feeling of being in flow, at ease, safe, and accepted. To cultivate a sense of belonging, individuals should use their body as a guidepost to determine how they are truly feeling in different situations.

    • Embracing Authenticity: Breaking Free from the MaskOvercoming the fear of judgment and embracing our true selves leads to a more fulfilling and enriching life rooted in belonging and authenticity.

      The fear of judgment and bias can cause us to suppress our authenticity and curate a performing self mask. This pressure to fit in and hide aspects of our true selves stems from a desire to protect ourselves from the potential harm of judgment. However, living a life rooted in belonging and feeling safe to be ourselves is far more fulfilling and enriching than constantly wearing a mask. It is important to recognize that when we put on our performing self masks, we do it out of hurt, pain, and the fear of having love taken away from us. But through healing and standing in our power, we can embrace our true selves and experience a more beautiful and authentic life.

    • Embracing Authenticity: The Path to True BelongingBeing authentic and finding a sense of belonging brings inner peace and freedom, while faking our true selves causes discomfort and anxiety. Recognize activating moments and create spaces for genuine self-expression.

      Being authentic and experiencing true belonging is a beautiful and worthwhile way of living, although it may require more intention and mindfulness. Ritu Bhasin explains that when we feel the pressure to fit in and fake our true selves, we experience physical and emotional discomfort such as heaviness in the chest, queasiness in the stomach, negative thoughts, tension in the body, and anxiety. On the other hand, when we feel a sense of belonging, we enter a state of flow, calmness, and freedom, where there is no need to manage or perform. Many people have day-to-day experiences of being activated and not belonging. The challenge lies in recognizing these activating moments and finding spaces where we can truly be our authentic selves.

    • Cultivating Core Wisdom for Authenticity, Belonging, and JoyTuning into oneself, understanding inner voice and emotions, challenging negative thoughts, and promoting self-acceptance can create a stronger sense of authenticity, belonging, and joy in life.

      Cultivating core wisdom is essential for bringing authenticity, belonging, and joy into life. Core wisdom involves tuning into oneself and understanding the inner voice and emotions in any situation. By listening to the mind and identifying positive or negative thoughts, one can assess their authenticity. Additionally, paying attention to the body's sensations helps gauge the sense of belonging. Negative self-talk and physical discomfort indicate a lack of authenticity and belonging. To address this, self-coaching is a core strategy. Self-coaching involves challenging negative thoughts and replacing them with positive affirmations that promote self-acceptance and belonging. By combining core wisdom and self-coaching, individuals can create a stronger sense of authenticity, belonging, and joy in their lives.

    • The impact of emotions on our bodies and the importance of releasing and nurturing them.Our bodies react to disrespect or hurt as if being attacked, resulting in physical symptoms. It is important to release these emotions and nurture positive ones to become more resilient in difficult situations.

      Our bodies are highly sensitive to the environment and the way others treat us. When we feel disrespected or hurt, our nervous systems react as if we are being attacked. This activation can result in physical responses like trembling, shaking, or tears. However, as humans, we often override these natural reactions due to fear of judgment or criticism. Instead, we suppress the energy and push the sensations down. It is important to give ourselves permission to release these emotions and allow the energy to flow out of our bodies. This emotional release can be done in moments of privacy, such as through deep breathing exercises or crying. Additionally, it is crucial to also make time for experiencing joy and connecting with positive emotions in our bodies. By nurturing our core wisdom and developing more settled nervous systems, we can become less reactive and more resilient in facing challenging situations.

    • Navigating Triggers: A Journey to Healing and JoyPlanning and scripting our responses to difficult situations helps us become better equipped to handle triggers, leading to less stress and more happiness.

      Addressing and healing from triggers is a journey, not an instant fix. As we become better at handling difficult situations, we become less rattled and more joyful. In order to navigate these moments, it is recommended to plan in advance by scripting our responses and actions. Scripting involves planning out what we will say or do when faced with a challenging situation. By implanting these scripts into our brains, we are better prepared to handle triggers when they arise. While writing down the scripts is preferred for improved retention, even practicing them mentally is better than doing nothing. The key is to proactively choose our responses in advance.

    • Harnessing the Power of Self-Coaching and Visualization for Inner StrengthBy utilizing self-coaching and visualization techniques, we can mentally prepare ourselves for challenging situations, stay grounded, and cultivate resilience. Breathwork further enhances our overall well-being, enabling us to handle any situation with power and calmness.

      Self-coaching and visualization are powerful tools for managing activating situations and standing in your power. By choosing affirmations or mantras in advance, we can prepare ourselves mentally for moments when we feel shutdown starting. This helps us stay grounded and focused on our inner strength. Additionally, using breathwork to calm ourselves in stressful situations can have a profound impact on our overall well-being. Deep belly breathing engages the parasympathetic system and allows us to settle our bodies and minds. Visualizing ourselves using these tools in advance helps us train our brains and build patterns of behavior that align with our desired outcomes. It's important to note that visualization is not about manifesting negative outcomes, but rather about preparing ourselves to handle any situation with power and resilience.

    • Preparing for Difficult Conversations: Empowering Yourself with AuthenticityBy preparing for difficult conversations and staying true to ourselves, we can liberate ourselves from fear and grow personally, even if the outcome may not always be what we hope for.

      When we anticipate and prepare for difficult conversations, it is not about focusing on negativity or manifesting it. Instead, we are taking control of the outcome we desire and putting energy towards it. By rehearsing and standing in our power, we align ourselves with expressing our love freely and authentically. It may not always be received in the way we hope, but speaking our truth liberates us and allows for personal growth. Authenticity is about showing up as our true selves without censoring or changing who we are because of others' reactions. Ultimately, in order to belong, we must first embark on a personal journey of authenticity. Despite the unfairness of having to deal with negative experiences, it is better to be prepared and stand in our power.

    • Claiming Belonging and Creating Belonging for OthersIn order to create a sense of belonging, it is important to follow through with our plans and support others, even in uncomfortable situations, by speaking up against inappropriate behavior and embracing our authentic selves.

      Claiming belonging involves using our scripts and following through with our plans, resulting in a beautiful feeling of accomplishment. Additionally, creating belonging for others is equally important, especially when faced with situations where we can choose to be bystanders or upstanders. Planning and preparing for these moments in advance can help us confidently address inappropriate behavior and support those who may be shut down. It is crucial to speak up against racism, insults, discrimination, and rudeness, even when it means interrupting a meeting or facing discomfort. We cannot control other people's actions, but we have control over our own behavior, and our actions should align with our truth. Embracing our Authentic selves is essential in navigating the complexities of work and relationships.

    • Balancing Authenticity and Performance for Well-beingFinding a balance between our authentic self and performing self is crucial for our well-being. It empowers us to express who we truly are while considering practicalities and potential consequences.

      Finding a balance between our authentic self and our performing self is crucial for our well-being. The authentic self represents our truest reflection of who we are, and it feels empowering to express it without fear of consequences. On the other hand, the performing self is when we feel compelled to change who we are, hide aspects of our identity, and conform to societal expectations. This can be exhausting, disempowering, and disrespectful. While it may be necessary to perform in certain situations, it is important to question why we feel the need to do so and work towards pushing out of it. Ultimately, finding a middle-ground between the two selves allows us to live a more empowered and authentic life, while still considering practicalities and potential consequences.

    • Empowering Self-Awareness: Choosing and Adapting Our SelvesBy being mindful of our behaviors and consciously choosing how we show up in different situations, we can align our actions with our needs and the needs of others, leading to personal growth and authenticity in interactions.

      Being aware of our different selves and consciously choosing which self to adapt in specific situations is empowering. We often perform reflexively and subconsciously without realizing it, which can trap us in certain roles and identities. However, when we become mindful of our behaviors and adapt strategic actions that align with our needs and the needs of others, we can still stay true to our authentic selves. Adapting our behavior is a choice that can feel good and serve us in different contexts. It's important to be mindful of which self is showing up in any situation and strive to push out the performing self, adapt when necessary, and bring forth the best version of our authentic self in interactions.

    • Embracing Authenticity: Breaking Free from Fear and JudgementSharing our true selves and embracing authenticity allows us to overcome fear, experience liberation, and build genuine connections in our interactions and relationships.

      It's important to embrace authenticity and start sharing our true selves with others. Ritu Bhasin encourages listeners to identify something about themselves that they have been hiding or masking due to fear of judgment. It could be anything from personal experiences to emotions or aspects of their identity. By taking the leap and sharing these hidden parts, it allows individuals to break free from the confines of fear and start being their authentic selves. Mel Robbins reinforces this message by emphasizing the importance of self-acceptance and love, both from within and from others. This conversation highlights the power and liberation that comes from embracing authenticity in our interactions and relationships.

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    • How to genuinely believe in what you love to do
    • How to make peace with your inner voice

    Tune in for a thought-provoking and heartwarming conversation that validates our humanness, flaws and strengths, and our ability to overcome difficult times.

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    • 00:00 Intro
    • 02:42 Fascination for Time Traveling
    • 03:55 Lil Nas X Helped Montero Morph Out of Being a Super Shy Kid  
    • 07:04 There’s No Reason to Stop, Even You Mess Up
    • 08:57 What’s Your Favorite Childhood Memory?
    • 10:32 Becoming Self Aware and More In Tune with Your Sexuality
    • 11:24 Losing a Loved One to Cancer
    • 16:22 A Song About not Being Present When a Loved One Needed You So Much
    • 17:39 Appreciating and Cherishing Time Spent with Family  
    • 19:27 What Scares You the Most Right Now?
    • 20:56 What Does Positive Chaos Look LIke?
    • 22:14 The Part of Montero’s Message That Got Misunderstood
    • 26:30 My Relationship with My Father
    • 28:52 We All Have Our Own Ideals in Seeing Other People 
    • 31:09 Freedom to Explore Your Spirituality
    • 35:05 This One Being That’s Connected to Everything
    • 36:28 Being Authentic and Relatable at the Same Time
    • 38:37 Fully Open to Finding Real, Genuine Love
    • 42:10 Overpowering the Voices in Your Head
    • 45:23 The Ability to Recognize that Everything has Its Place
    • 45:58 Allowing Your Younger Self to Grow 
    • 47:35 Things that Haven’t Been Said to My Family Are in the Documentary
    • 50:35 How to Help Others Work on Their Best Self
    • 54:04 How Do We Deal with Our Lack of Control?
    • 56:03 Why We Need to Relax Sometimes to Stay Sane
    • 57:23 The Habit of Watching a Movie to Take a Break
    • 59:34 What Are You Focusing on Over the Next 12 Months?
    • 01:01:39 Do You Believe in Angel Numbers?
    • 01:03:24 What Do You Do When You Can’t See the Signs?
    • 01:05:11 Lil Nas X on Final Five

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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